Summermares

>Day Setting For Summer in Equestria.

>You just had a horrible time at Fluttershy's cottage.

>She invited you over and asked you to dress up in a bunny suit.

>Never being alone with that horse again...

>You look forward to being in the comfort of your home again.

>A home that's far away from all these ponies.

>A home that has all of your cool stuff.

>A home that's currently lit up like a fucking Best Buy.

What the-

>Running up the lane to your cabin, you pull the door open and brace for the worst.

>"IT'S A GAK ATTACK!"

>Immediately your vision is taken away as something wet slaps your face and Pinkie Pie's laughter rings in your ears.

>You crouch and claw at your face.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

>After the orange gak that you kept hidden in your dresser is off your face, you take your first look around your home.

>Pinkie Pie stands above you breathing heavy with a look of insane joy on her face.

>"Gak gak GAK!"

>She's not the only one here...

 

 

>Finally you notice the music thumping.

>From the look of it, Rainbow Dash figured out how to use your ipod sound dock.

>And of course,

>She found one of the most annoying songs you had.

>You watch her float and wiggle her limbs,

>"I didn't know you had these bumpin' tunes Anon!" She shouts over the music.

>"I don't know what the lyrics mean, but they're FUN!"

>You can only watch as she tilts her head up and her tongue wiggles in the air like an autistic snake while she screeches:

>"La ilaha illa Allah, ha la ili, hay yo Hili b'Allah, hey, hili bay yo! We gettin' Arab money! We gettin' Arab money!"

>Why the hell do you even have a Busta Rhymes song?

>And over there in the corner you see-

No... No, oh god no...

>Twilight Sparkle's face is millimeters away from your laptop screen.

>You run over and slap it shut.

>She flinches and glares at you, "hey! I was looking at le funny pictures you troll!"

>Pulling the laptop away from her, you speak as calmly as you can,

Twilight, I will resist the urge to slap you for what you just said. How long have you been on this thing?

>She smiles at you.

>Why is she smiling like that?

>It looks creepy.

Twilight what are you-

>And then you realize it.

>She's trying to do a troll face.

>"You like le trick face Anon? Are you frustrated bro?!"

>The laptop must be burned.

 

 

>Then you hear it.

>The sound of breaking glass from the kitchen.

>Ignoring the fact that Pinkie Pie is having a gak fight with Rainbow Dash, Twilight has booted up the laptop again and Rainbow Dash somehow found a Nickleback song on your ipod (did you really always have shit tastes in music?), you fearfully go to the kitchen.

 

APPLEJACK WHAT THE FUCK?!

>When you enter your kitchen, the only way to describe it is: disaster zone.

>Your fridge is open, it's contents spread all over.

>Every single drawer and cabinet is open, most stuff pulled out.

>Bottles have been smashed, food has been smeard, the table has been flipped.

>And laying there in the middle of a bed made of your cabbage for tonights dinner, is Applejack passed out.

>With a bottle of Jack Daniels in one hoof and a bottle of Sapphire in the other.

>She looks dead.

>You hop over all the shit and stoop down to her.

Aj! Aj wake up!

>She moans and her tongue flops out.

>One eye creeps open, "found sum gewd cider here Anon... Couldn't find any apples so ah- BLUUUUUUGH!"

>A stream of projectile vomit consisting of cabbage, gin, whiskey, stomach acid and gak sprays your face.

>You screech and fall back on your ass.

I THOUGHT HORSES COULDN'T PUKE!

>Applejack is out again.

>You find a rag and furiously clean your face over the sink.

>Why did you ever get transported here?

>Why was all of your stuff transported as well?

>You never asked for this.

>Your introvert rage begins to build.

>And you snap.

 

 

THAT'S IT! EVERYONE FUCKING OUT!

>You run back into the living room.

>With a roar, you turn off the Creed song playing on your ipod, snatch the ball of gak and close your laptop.

I WANT EVERYONE TO LEAVE!

>They look scared in the waves of your rage.

>Pinkie Pie's lip trembles, "did we do something wrong Anon?"

I JUST WANT SOME ALONE TIME!

>Twilight nudges Rainbow Dash and smirks, "he means he wants to fop, lel!"

>Grabbing Twilight by the horn, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash under an arm, you throw all three ponies outside.

Go annoy someone else!

>Rainbow shrugs and flies away.

>Pinkie Pie looks heart broken and trudges away.

>You'll probably regret that one later.

>Twilight turns her nose up at you.

>"Geez Anon, someone sure is... Buttfrustrated!"

>She is obviously pleased with herself as she trots away yelling "lelelelelelelele," all the way home.

>You sigh and go back inside.

>This is too much to clean up tonight.

>You'll do it in the morning along with nursing a hungover Applejack.

>For now, you decide to relax.

>You sit in your chair and pick a song on your ipod.

>Some dubstep should calm you down.

>There's a clopping sound behind you.

>You whip your head around and see Rarity on your stairs coming from your room.

>She's wearing your clothes.

HEY! THOSE ARE GONNA SMELL LIKE HORSE NOW!

>Rarity fold her ears and winces.

>"Anon, you have DREADFUL taste in clothing and music!"

>With that, she walks out of your house, throwing your clothes on the floor.

>You begin to cry.

>This was only the first day of summer.