Nothing About Roseluck

>You are Anon.

>Big sexy Human.

>Brushing those exotic canine teeth.

>You bend over and spit into the sink, foamy minty saliva snaking past your lips

>Your muscles ripple under the light of the bathroom as you grip the counter.

>Your firm ass-

I'm going to slap you.

>Roseluck sighs

>"You're supposed to pretend I'm not here!"

>Could this be considered a fetish?

>Watching you brush your teeth every morning while she narrated?

>And you had let her convince you to do it in the nude.

>You set your toothbrush down and turn

Alright, enough of that. I have to get dressed for work.

>Roseluck snaps out of her trance from staring at your flaccid piece.

>"Wait wait wait you have to shower!"

>She winks and closes the door behind her.

Come on, I showered last night...

>First mistake of the day.

>Her mane begins to ruffle

>You see the red color appearing and the puffing of her cheeks

>"Shower. Time. Now."

>There's no arguing with her.

Fine. Alright.

>You get into the shower and turn the water on.

>Roseluck gasps, "how do you do that?"

>You look over at her from under the cold water.

Do what?

>"You always just get in and turn the cold water on! How do you not even let it heat up?"

>You squirt some shampoo into your hand and shrug

Uh, I dunno. I'm not a bitch?

>She smiles and runs a hoof down her chest.

>"That's so hot..."

>You rub your scalp

How the hell is THAT hot?

>She pushes the bar of soap off the edge of the tub.

>"Whoopsie, you dropped the soap clumsy... Better pick it up."

>This mare.

>Every day your girlfriend masturbates to you cleaning your body.

>And secretly

>You like it.

 

 

>Every day you make your girlfriend breakfast.

>And you don't really like it.

>Roseluck can't cook.

>It's not like she burns everything.

>That would be an improvement.

>That would imply she had actually attempted to heat something.

>No, instead, Roseluck couldn't even get to the part of heating something up.

>Instead, she would get so mad at the ingredients' packaging or natural covering, she would just end up smashing everything and retreating to hide in the garden.

>Your little mare had an issue with patience.

>So every day you cooked for her.

>And cleaned her laundry.

>And groomed her.

>Roseluck wasn't really good at... Anything.

>Besides gardening.

>You wonder how she survived before you came along.

>If it weren't for you, she would probably only shower once a week.

>It was always an ordeal bathing her.

>Like you had a stubborn child.

>She insisted that a nice healthy coat of dirt was good for her.

>You disagreed.

>If she made you shower twice a day, she was taking a bath every other night.

>Speaking of

Rose.

>You look over your newspaper.

>She stops chewing her toast, "yeahuh?"

Bath. Tonight.

>She flips the table.

>Breakfast foods, plates, silverware and one of your bongs are sent flying.

ROSE!

>She runs for the door then turns back to you and points

>"YOU SUCK ANON! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"

>The door slams.

>You facepalm

>Alone in your kitchen with a bowl of oatmeal in your lap.

 

 

>After cleaning up, you leave for work at Sweet Apple Acres.

>You will take care of Roseluck later.

>She may be your girlfriend bu-

>Was she even your girlfriend?

>That's what you called her in your head, but you had never said it out loud.

>She had never pushed for any clear definement.

>But she HAD blown you...

>And you were always together.

>And you had gotten into some heavy petting...

>But it was more like you were best friends who sometimes screwed around.

Best-friends-who-sometimes-screwed-around.

>Yeah, that was a good term for it.

>You put your complex relationship out of mind.

>It's time to buck some apples.

>Ah, who are you kidding?

>This is the worst fucking job ever.

>Your boss is the devil in pony form.

>"Anon is g-gothic dress your fetish?"

>Fluttershy stands in your way.

>She is wearing a black turtle neck.

>Her hooves are painted black along with her mane.

>The dark makeup around her watering eyes make her look like a raccoon.

>The whole getup is actually pretty damn cute.

No Fluttershy. Sorry, but I have to get to work.

>"S-sugar snap..."

>Did she just cuss?

>"Well I s-suppose I'll just... have to assert myself again."

>Fluttershy tackles you.

WHA?

>She pins your arms down and smiles in your face, "I've been too shy with you Anon, but now you'll forget ALL about Roseluck and fill me with your love!"

>Her hooves scramble against you and her lips sloppily smack at your neck.

>"Ready to fill me up?"

 

 

>Wait

>Why were you letting this happen?

>You're a big Human.

>You grab Fluttershy by the throat and stand up.

>She hangs from your grip and goes back to her normal shy, scared self.

>This bitch gets more annoying every day.

>And yesterday she actually sent Roseluck Poison Joke in the mail.

>You knew it was her.

Fluttershy.

>She gulps for air and scrambles to get free.

Leave me and my girlfriend alone.

>Your girlfriend.

>Roseluck was more than your friend.

>You toss Fluttershy into a bush and walk away.

I'm not going to tell you again.

 

>Applejack is a kind pony.

>She gave you work when no one else would.

>The only problem

>"Work that mallet like yer life depends on it... Yeah, that's it."

>You grit your teeth and slam the hammer against another tree.

>Apples rain down and Applebloom scrambles to collect them all.

>Applejack breathes into your ear.

>"I was thinkin' for lunch yeh could appleslap mah flank."

>You turn on her

IS IT REALLY NECESSARY TO HARASS ME AT WORK?!

>She rolls her eyes, "of course it's not necessary fer work sake,"

>She playfully bats at your stomach, "but ah can appreciate ah fine ass when it's presented."

>You need this job.

>One day you plan to move Roseluck in and build her a nice greenhouse.

Let's just buck some apples please...

>"I think yah should do it in the nude sugarcube."

>You shake your head.

>"Would be nice to get a raise right? Ahm sure Roseluck would appreciate that..."

>Roseluck deserved the best.

Can I keep the underwear on?

>"Heh heh, ah don't think so. Applebloom, go clean the barn."

 

 

>You are Roseluck.

>Still a little paranoid that Anon would show up at your house to bathe you, you tend to your prized rhododendron with gusto.

>You tickle one of it's leaves and baby talk to it, "wittle rhodie boo you're so big!"

>The bush seems to swell in happiness.

>"Grow nice and big and don't let any doggies eat you!"

>There's a knock on the door.

>There's only one person who comes to your greenhouse...

GO AWAY ANON! I'M KEEPING MY DIRT!

>"IS THIS WHERE YOU CAGE THE BEAST?!"

>What?

>You go over to the door and open it.

>Oh god, It's Twilight Sparkle.

>You stare at eachother.

>She gives you a creepy smile.

>"Hello Roseluck, if the monster is here I'll come back later."

>You facehoof,

No, Anon isn't here. Can I help you?

>She presses a letter into your hoof.

>"I went to Anon's lair and it wasn't there, so I figured it's out trying to force it's vile seed into helpless pony's birth canals."

>You don't know what to say to that.

>"Or sucking out their brains."

>This chick has problems.

So?

>"Well I know you are his prisoner, so I wanted to give this to you to give to him."

What is this?

>"A party invite. It's at the library and Pinkie Pie invited Anon to... My house..."

>She shivers.

>Just Anon?

>You look on the invite.

>Your name isn't anywhere.

Can I co-

>You look up to find her gone.

>She's galloping full tilt away from your property.

Oh. Okay.

 

 

>You are Anon.

>Work was humiliating.

>You trudge down the road feeling dirty.

>Maybe you could find a new job if you tried.

>You decide to visit

>Your girlfriend.

>The thought makes you smile.

>You arrive at her greenhouse.

>There's voices from within.

>You open the door quietly and peek in.

>Turns out it's not voices.

>Just one.

>Roseluck sits talking to a lily.

>She is using a high pitched voice to make the lily talk back to her as she jiggles it with a hoof.

>"Oh Roseluck, you're so funny and kind! You give us such good care and I really like your mane!"

>Rose laughs up into the air, "oh stop! You're just saying that because you're my friend!"

>She puts her hoof on a daisy and wiggles it, using a deep voice, "we're ALL your friends Roseluck!"

>You watch uncomfortably as your girlfriend laughs alone in her garden.

>This is just sad.

>You decide it's time to step in.

Rose?

>She jumps and yelps.

Sorry, I just got off work.

>She smiles at you with a blush and you notice a piece of paper in her hoof.

>"H-h-hey bro, how was work?"

>You point at the paper.

What's that?

>She looks down at it, "oh uh, Twilight dropped it off for you..."

>You take it and read.

A party huh?

>"Yeah..."

Sounds fun.

>"Mhmm."

You gonna wear a dress?

>"I'm not invited."

 

 

Don't be silly Rose, just because you're not on the card doesn't mean you can't go.

>She shakes her head.

>"It's okay Anon. You go and have fun."

>You sigh,

Rose, you're going to tha-

>"YOU DON'T HAVE TO PITY ME!"

>You flinch a little from her outburst.

>"I know I don't have any friends Anon. I get that. I know my only friends are plants."

No, that's not true!

>She strokes one of her flowers, "I've accepted that I'm a weird pony. I may not be able to strike up a conversation with anything but a flower, but it's okay."

>She gives you a fake smile.

>"I have a great man."

>You sigh.

Stop that talk you idiot.

>She looks confused and wipes her eye.

The only thing you were right about is that your only friends are plants.

>You scoop her up into her arms.

>"Wh-what are you doing? Where are you taking me?!"

The only reason you don't have any friends is because you don't have any faith in yourself that you can make friends Rose.

>You kiss the end of her nose as you walk inside her house.

But I'm going to prove it to you that you can make friends just fine.

>Roseluck looks at you in a mixture of panic and awe, "are we... Are you taking me to the party?"

>You peck her nose again with your lips.

No Rose, I'm giving you a bath and THEN we're going to that party.

Together.

>She nuzzles her face into your chest, "if you think it's okay..."

>You pinch her cutie mark making her squeal.

You were right about another thing too.

You do have a great man.

>She rolls her eyes and jumps out of your arms into the bathtub.

>"Just wash my mane Romeo."

>You turn on the water and she screams

>"NOT THE COLD WATER!"

 

 

The End.