Headfirst For Halos

>You are Anon.

>Coffin maker.

>How does one get this job in the colorful pony world.

>Being a menace to society?

>A disfigured mess?

>No.

>Just sheer unfortunate flags.

>If God exists, he has no opinion of you.

>You're just a normal guy doing what he can with what has.

>"Who died?"

>The voice scares you.

>It shocks you actually.

>So much that the nail you hammer, is the one on your left thumb.

DAMN IT!

>Here she is again.

>Just like every day.

>Sweetie Belle.

>There is no reason for a filly of petite stature and fey mindset to hang out in a funeral home basement every day after school,

>But she does.

>You squeeze your thumb as hard as you can.

Sweetie Belle WHY do you feel the need to come here every day?

>She stares at the coffin you're working on with blank eyes and a creepy smirk, "I get really turned on..."

>You flick her nose

Stop repeating nonsense you hear on television.

>"It's called Ponyvision!"

>She rubs her snout with watering eyes.

>It's best to ignore her and work towards an end.

>"Who died Anon?"

>You realize an angle is wrong and you will have to re-cut.

No one.

>"Then why are you making a coffin?"

Because it's my job.

>"So you're doing a job for a dead pony?"

If that's what you think.

>"I think you should squeeze me."

That's not going to happen.

>"No? Alright then I'll settle for a kiss..."

When did we agree to that?!"

>"It's what I think."

>You miss another nail and grind your teeth.

Well your thoughts might just forever stay fantasies.

>There's a pause.

>Rare silence in the presence of Rarity's sister.

>"Anon?"

>You roll your eyes.

What?

>"Who died?"

>You sigh and set down your hammer.

Does it matter? They all go in a box and get stuffed in the ground. You never see their face again. So why should it matter to someone who never knew them?

They all go in a box.

They all go in the ground.

 

 

>Sweetie Belle doesn't say anything for a long while after that.

>Maybe you said to much.

>She reminds you of your little sister.

>Sometimes things escape your lips.

>Just like with your little sister.

>Just like a conversation with your little sister.

>The one you raised on your own.

>That's why you say some things.

>Some things that are better left un-said to Sweetie Belle the Unicorn.

Sweetie I-

>"Anon is it almost finished?!"

>You glance over at her.

>She watches your hands expectantly.

---"My big brother can do anything!"---

>You smile and go to get more supplies.

Five more minutes please.

 

>With the coffin done, you walk around it, inspecting every little detail.

>They all go in a box

>But it's your job on the outside of the box.

>They all go in the ground

>And you've helped a lot of halos.

>"Time to go!"

>You jerk your eyes away from a copper buckle and down to Sweetie Belle.

You're early today.

>She flicks her tail.

>"I was early to take a ride."

>Oh,

>She's not leaving.

>You watch her grunt and kick her back legs before she tumbles into the coffin.

 

 

What are you doing?!

>You jump over and look down at her.

>She trots over and lays on her back, resting on the fancy silk pillow.

>"I wanna see what it's like!"

>If your boss came and saw a filly playing in this expensive coffin...

>"Come on in Anon, it's comfortable for the dead!"

We're alive!

>She gives you the Sweetie face.

>More deadly than Fluttershy's stare.

>More hnnng than a myocardial infarction.

>Well it was meant for a stallion...

>The coffin can easily fit you.

>The face works every time dumb ass.

>You crawl into the coffin and lay beside your little-

>Friend.

>They're a lot alike.

>But you turn to Sweetie Belle the Unicorn.

What do you think?

>She closes her eyes and looks at peace.

>Her mane splayed across the silk

>Her nose quivering

>Her hooves drawn close to her body

>She must be really comfortab-

>"I'm really turned on..."

>You flick her forehead.

 

>"Anon?"

>You've spent a while laying in the coffin now.

>And almost fell asleep.

Yes?

>Sweetie Belle looks over at you,

>"This isn't your first time in a coffin."

>A statement.

>Not a question.

>For a year you have worked here.

>Building worm farms.

>But not once have you layed in one like now.

No. It's not.

 

 

>For once, Sweetie Belle doesn't speak after you talk.

>Actually, she's done that a lot today.

Do you want to know how I came to Equestria?

>She doesn't speak.

>Simply nods.

...I died.

>You can tell she's holding her breath.

>The pain comes back to you.

>Like a ghost limb.

>Those poor people suffer beyond their suffering.

>And the category now included you for more than a year's grace.

>They all go in a box

I had just been fired from my job. This was a problem.

This was a problem because I was the only means of support for my younger sister and I.

>Sweetie scoots closer.

I went to the bar that night. Just for a couple drinks.

My boss showed up after me. He was already drunk. For a while I stayed there and listened to him talk about what a piece of crap I was before he picked up some easy girl and left.

>"And then?"

I noticed he had dropped his wallet.

So I grabbed it. I could have taken it and bought my sister something nice.

But.... I decided to be the bigger man. I ran outside and called out his name.

He turned around and I ran over to him waving it.

But before I got there, I was hit by a car.

>"Car?"

It's like a metal carriage. Anyway, I was hit and the last thing I remember was my boss grabbing his wallet and running.

>You stare up at the ceiling.

>Sweetie Belle was the first pony you told.

>"PFFFF!"

>You turn your head toward her,

>She explodes into a fit of laughter.

 

 

>"I'm- I'm sorry!"

>You let her catch her breath.

>"It's not funny that you died, it's just-"

>Sweetie wipes a tear from her eye, "you're REALLY unlucky Anon!"

>A smirk comes to your face.

I suppose I am, I have to talk to you every day.

>She lightly bucks your arm, "hey! You'd be a creepy loner without me!"

>A few more laughs and the room is silent again.

>"Hey Anon?"

>You let out a sigh,

Yes Sweetie Belle?

>"Do you... Not like coffins?"

>Sweetie Belle is strangely focused today.

What makes you say that?

>"I've watched you make them... In your eyes, it looks like your're sad every time. I know you say they all go in a box-

They all go in the ground-

>"But do YOU want to go in a box?"

>This makes you think.

>And decide

I keep having this dream. A dream about my own funeral. I know,

I know that my sister was the last one to place a rose on my casket.

I know my sister was there when I went into the ground. I know that that box was lowered into the ground, carrying me away from her.

So yes

 

I hate the box.

 

>You feel Sweetie Belle snuggle close to you.

>"I know it might sound bad, but I think I like them."

>You pat her head.

Oh yeah?

>She inhales the scent of your shirt, "yeah, because I imagine that that box brought you here. To Equestria. To me. And even if my thoughts just remain fantasies, it's okay. You're here now.

We can go in this box and not have to go in the ground."

 

>"You're like the big brother I've always wanted."

 

>Today was not like the others before it.