Episode 6: Concerto Chaos

Episode 6: Concerto Chaos

 

Narrator: “Oh, You” is filmed in front of a live Studio Audience.

(We open up inside of a concert hall in the middle of a performance.  Octavia is seen onstage, performing Bach’s Suite #1 for Cello.  She wears a long black dress and appears focused on the music, we then cut to Norman dressed in an evening suit sitting with Rarity in a blue dress.  He looks a bit uncomfortable, a mix between being out with the girl he loves and being amongst a different crowd than usual.  His past with Octavia probably doesn’t help matters either.  The piece ends and there is a round of applause.)

Rarity: Isn’t she just wonderful?

Norman: She is a good cellist, and the dress you made her looks beautiful.

Rarity: Thank you, darling.  Still, I can’t help but notice that you seem a bit nervous.

Norman: Let’s just say that she and I have butted heads lately...

(Flashback to a few days before, Herb Alpert’s “Spanish Flea” plays over a montage of scenes stemming from Norman asking Octavia to not practice cello in the apartment above so late at night.  We see him knock on the door, her answering, him making the request, and her slamming the door on him.  Later we see him looking out the window at more messages written in German, none of which look too friendly.  We see him keying in the phases into a translator app, each time he gets more and more pale. (Laughter)  Finally, we see Octavia playing around with an electric cello and plugging it into a comically large stack amp, she turns it to eleven and begin playing.  Quick cut down to Norman laying in bed, eyes wide open.  He grabs one of Brad’s bottles of chloroform and puts himself out.  (Laughter) End Flashback)

Rarity: No worries, Norman.  Tavi and I are good friends.  I’m sure I can put in a good word for you.

Norman: Thank you, Rarity.

(Octavia is standing and bowing, a few people have thrown bouquets at her.  She steps to the microphone and speaks with a German accent.)

Octavia: Thank you, thank you so very much.  There is someone I vould like to introduce to all of you.  She is one of my close friends and she made ze dress I am wearing tonight.  May I introduce Miss Rarity of ze Carousel Boutique.

(Rarity stands and waves, and with a bit of prodding walks up on stage to receive flowers and a hug from Octavia.  As the crowd dies down, she looks directly at Norman, we see him sit stock upright and go pale(Laughter))

Octavia: There is also someone else I vould like to thank.  Thanks to his...inspiration...I practiced for zis concert harder than anyone I’ve been in before.  Zherefore, I would like to thank Mr. Norman Normal.

(There is some applause as Norman stands and walks up on stage, Rarity seems pleased with this event.  Octavia holds out her hand for Norman to shake as he walks toward her.  We get a zoom in on his foot as it tangles in the microphone wire and he trips.  Throwing his hands out to catch himself, he instead grabs onto Octavia’s dress, succeeding in pulling it down completely.  The crowd has gone completely silent at this point in time.  Norman looks up at an incredibly angry Octavia.)

Norman:...I...I’m really sorry...

Octavia: (Through gritted teeth) I vill give you a five second head start. (Laughter)  Ein...

Norman: (struggling to stand up and get loose from the wire...) Sorry!

Octavia: Zwei....

Norman: Leaving...Leaving!!! (Laughter)

(Norman books it off the stage to end the first act).

 



(Scene 2 opens in Brad and Normans apartment the next day, Norman is sitting with Brad on the couch, his head in his hands.  Brad has a newspaper opened up in front of him.  The headline on the front page reads “Concerto Chaos” and shows a picture of Octavia. The subheadline reads “Known Pervert and Racist Ruins Perfectly Good Show”.  There is another smaller article that notes “Sweet Catnip Acres Con Cancelled: Littlest Pet Shop Convention Near Bankrupt”. (laughter))

Brad: (whistles) you just had to see more of her after that night at the club back in high school, didn’t ya Norm?

Norman: (Raising his head to look at Brad) Will you be serious?

Brad: Well, at least there is a brightside.

Norman: Brightside?!?  What about this could possibly lead to a brightside?!?

Brad: The concert hall has sold a record number of tickets to the male 18-25 demographic. (laughter)  That’s usually their smallest one.

Norman: I don’t know what to do, I mean, I know I should apologize but there is no way Octavia is ever going to want to see me.

(Enter Aryan Beauty as she returns from visiting Octavia)

Rarity: Octavia says she wants to see you...

Norman: (Standing up)Wow!  Okay well that problem solves itself then....

Rarity: You didn’t let me finish, darling...Octavia wants to see you...dead. (laughter)

Norman: (Sitting back down) Of course.  Look, it was an accident.

Rarity: I know, Darling, and I tried to tell her that but she wasn’t having any of it.

Norman: Well, how am I supposed to apologize to her then?

Rarity: Let’s just let her rest a bit, I’m sure after a day or two, she will be happy to talk to you and get an apology and then we can put this entire thing behind us and move on.  

Norman: (smiling at Rarity and taking her hand) Yeah...you’re probably right.

(Quick cut to the next day,Norman is in a chair.  Brad sits on the couch with the paper again, this time it reads “Rhapsody of a Recluse: Local Cellist Not Seen Since Embarrassment Two Nights Ago.”)

Brad: Oh, Marmaduke, you can’t sit on your owner’s lap, you’re far too big! (Laughter)

Norman: She’s not getting over this.

Brad: Well, you did disrobe her in public...not even I’ve done that before. (Laughter)

Norman: I’ve defeated you?  Dear God!  I’ve sunk to a new low! (laughter) (Norman stands up to leave)

Brad: (lowing the paper) Where are you off to?

Norman: Dental school...I promised Colgate I would be her test subject again, maybe she can give me some advice.

(Quick cut to the dental school.  We see Norman sitting in a dental chair while Colgate works on a fairly routine teeth cleaning.  We join the “conversation” in progress)

Colgate: So then you fell and when you tried to steady yourself you pulled down her dress?

Norman: (Muffled and incomprehensible gurgling noises as she works on him some more) (Laughter)

Colgate: ...and she hasn’t been out of her apartment in three days?  You can rinse and spit if you’d like.

Norman: (swishes some water and spits it out) How were you able to understand me?

Colgate: Its what they teach us at dental school. (laughter) Well, it sounds like you should apologize to her.

Norman: But she will probably try to kill me if she saw me.

Colgate: Octavia is a fine girl, I’m sure she will probably understand if you sincerely explain it to her.

Norman: How do you know her?

Colgate: I saw her yesterday, she called me up to her apartment and asked me to help her with something and...(she stops abruptly)

Norman: (Suspicious) And....?

Colgate: (trying to cover something up) Oh dear....would you look at that cavity....well...I’m going to need to work on this immediately.  (She grabs a mask and puts it on and throws a mask over Norman’s mouth and nose) Alright, deep breaths.

Norman: What is this all about....(as the gas takes effect he starts laughing a bit)...hahaha...I swear after this is done...ahahha....(Laughter) (Norman is out)

Colgate: Sorry, Norman.

(end of scene)



(Scene three, we see a close-up on Norman’s face as he groggily wakes up.  He blinks a few times as he tries to figure out what happened and where he is.)

Norman: What happened?  I was getting my teeth cleaned and then Colgate found a cavity and....(realization) Oh God...is this what its like for girls when Brad does his job? (laughter)

(Norman then realizes that he is bound and he is bent over a table)

Norman: Oh God...It’s just like when Brad does this! (Laughter)

(there is laughter from the darkness in the room)

Norman: Wh....who’s there?

(we see Octavia come out of the shadows.  She is wearing a white blouse and long black skirt with a pink bowtie.  She is holding a clarinet)

Octavia:  Vell Vell Vell, ve meet again Norman Normal...

Norman: Oh...H..He...Hello Octavia.  Um...nice weather we’re having isn’t...

Octavia: Silence!

Norman: Eep! (Laughter)

Octavia: I have never, and I mean never, been so embarrassed in my life.  I vas finally ready to bury the hatchet vith you.  I had never played a better concert.  I even vas nice enough to invite you on stage.  And vhat do you do?  You embarrass me!  You disrobe me on stage!  You understand?  Do you see why I can never be a bride?  (Laughter)

Norman: I said I was sorry....it was an accident....a horrible accident.  I feel awful about it.  I do!...I really do.  I am so very, very sorry Octavia.

Octavia: Oh trust me....you vill be sorry when I am done with you.

(She begins to advance on Norman with the Clarinet still in her hands)

Norman: (he’s sweating bullets at this point) What are you going to do to me.

Octavia: Something I should have done a long, long time ago.

(Norman sees the clarinet and notes the position he is in, he puts two and two together)

Norman: It’s totally like what Brad does! (Laughter) Octavia, don’t make me do this. I’ll yell. I’ll make sure the whole complex hears.

Octavia: Zats quite true...you will yell. Of course, being a musician, I have ways of making sure this is all masked and no one...interrupts us.

(She walks over to a phonograph by the door to the room they are in and puts a record of Beethoven’s fifth with the volume as high as possible)

Octavia: There, that is much more aurally pleasing than your scream would ever be.  Now, where were we.

(She begins to advance on him once again, we see a close up of his face as he makes an expression similar to the one when he ran into Shimmer in the locker.  Just as she pulls even with the door, it flies open, hitting her and knocking her out cold.  Standing in the doorway is Brad.)

Brad: Did someone say Orally Pleasing? (Laughter and applause)

Norman: (Cringing a bit) Brad!  Help me!

Brad: (Noticing Norman’s predicament) Wow Norman, I didn’t know you were into this type of thing.  You ever talk to Rarity about this? (Laughter)

Norman: Shut up and get me out of here.

(Brad unbounds Norman)

Norman: Thanks buddy.

Brad: No problem, of course those bindings were pretty weak, you could of broken them yourself....what amatuer, shoddy work. (Laughter)

(The two stare at the knocked out Octavia on the floor)

Norman: (Looking at Brad) So....are you...?

Brad: What?

Norman: Well...I mean she is knocked out and all...

Brad: No.

Norman: Really?  Why?

Brad: My dad always said: “Never put yourself into a crazy situation”. (laughter)

Norman: What about Fluttershy?

Brad: (A bit pale) Let me rephrase that: “Never willingly put yourself into a crazy situation”. (Laughter)

(End of scene)

 

 

(After Credits scene opens inside Norman and Brad’s apartment.  Brad is on the couch watching TV, there is a knock at the door and Norman enters in order to answer it)

Norman: I’ll get it. (He opens the door revealing Octavia, he openly jumps back a little bit)

Octavia: (Coldly) Norman.

Norman: H...Hello.

Octavia: (Still coldly) Listen....I understand that is was an accident...and I accept your apology.  I hope that you will accept mine for what happened as well.

Norman: (Deciding that it might be best to put this behind him) It’s okay....apology accepted. (He goes to close the door)

Octavia: Wait! (He reopens the door, Octavia is blushing a little bit and fiddling with her hands)  You understand zat everybody saw me at that concert the other night.

Norman: I thought I was forgiven for this.

Octavia: (Blushing really hard) You are....it’s just....you are going to have to take responsibility for this, understand?

Norman: (Closing the door midsentence) It was easier when she was trying to kill me.

Brad: I know that feeling. (Laughter)

(End of Episode)