Episode 5: Tooth or Consequences

Episode 5: Tooth or Consequences

 

(We open up on Norman and Brad walking out of their apartment into the parking lot)

Brad: Thanks for coming down and helping me get the groceries out of the car.

Norman: No problem, with all the sales going on, you would be crazy not to stock up before the Fourth of July Party that Pink is throwing.

Brad: Exactly.

Norman: (looking around the lot) So where is your van anyways?

Brad: Van....oh I got rid of that!

Norman: Wait...What!?  When!?  Why, even!?

Brad: Well, since we are doing the curtain business in house nowadays it seems kind of foolish to be driving the van around so I traded it in.

Norman: Well, what did you get then?

Brad:  I’m glad you asked Norm, I give you... (The camera pans to Brad’s car from EqG which bleeps and flashes its headlights)...The Bradilac! (Laughter)

Norman:(Cringing Intensifies) The Bradilac?

Brad: Yeah....I bought it from Filthy Rich’s lot.  I even had some custom things done to it...

Norman: Like what?

Brad: The back seat becomes a bed just like with the old Nash Ramblers and I installed a bitchin’ soundsystem.  This is the ultimate bangin’ car for banging in the car. (Laughter)

Norm: Of course it is.  

(The two are beginning to bring the groceries up when they see a girl who seems to need some help.  She is tall, blue skinned, blue haired, a pair of yellow sunglasses and a shirt with a cupcake on it.  She has a lot of luggage)

Girl: Excuse me, would you boys mind helping me move my stuff up to my apartment after you bring up the groceries?

Brad: (Dropping the groceries and rushing to her side) It would be a pleasure m’lady, the groceries can wait.

Norman: Especially those eggs you just scrambled on the sidewalk. (Laughter)

Brad: We’ll get more...come on Norm, lets help our new friend Miss....

Colgate: You can call me Colgate, I just entered the dentistry school here.

Norman: So...your name is Colgate?

Colgate: Yep!

Norman: and your studying to be a dentist?

Colgate: Yes.

Norman: Ah....well nice to meet you then, I’m Norman and I’m studying to be Normal and this (Points to Brad) is Statutory, he’s getting his Masters in rape...(laughter)

(We cut to the guys dropping off the last box in Colgate’s apartment.)

Brad: Well....who’d have thought you would get the apartment right across the hall from us.

Colgate: This is great!

Norman: Do you need anything else?

Colgate: Nope, I can take it from here.

Brad: Well, if you need anything, just let us know. (both go to leave)

Colgate: Thanks again, and remember, (The two turn back to look at her) Always brush two times a day for two minutes.

(Norman and Brad awkwardly wave and close the door, we see them outside the door)

Norman: What a delightfully odd person.

Brad: Bet she gives great oral care though! (Laughter)

(Norman simply sighs and cradles his head in his hands.)

(End of Act 1)

 

 

 



(Open Scene 2: We see Norman going through his normal morning routine.  Waking up, showering, and eating breakfast.  He goes into the bathroom to brush his teeth.  We see him brushing and he bends down to spit and rinse.  He pops up and closes the mirror on the medicine cabinet only to see Colgate standing behind him.)

Colgate: That was only a minute and a half Norman.

Norman: (Screams and reacts as would be expected of him) Colgate!!! how did you get in here?! (laughter)

Twilight: (Entering the doorway) I let her in....

Norman: And how did you get in Purple?

Twilight: I have a key to your room so I can come over and visit.

Norman: Of course you do. (Laughter)

Colgate: Anyway, you really should brush for another 30 seconds Norman.

Norman: No worries...I will brush an extra thirty tonight.

Colgate: Norman, proper oral care is important, even with a good tooth cleaning from a dentist you need to really take care of your teeth in between.

Brad: (Kramer sliding into the room) Did someone say oral? (Laughter and cheering)

Norman: (To Brad) No!  (To Colgate) Well...I do brush everyday but it has been a while since I’ve been to the dentist...like a year or so.

Colgate: (Eye Twitching) Well...we just have to change that right now shouldn’t we? (She grabs Norman’s arm and leads him out of the bathroom toward the door)

Norman: Wait, wait.  Where are we going?

Colgate: To the dental school

Norman: Brad!  Help! (The door to the apartment slams shut)

Brad: Poor Norman...I knew him well. (Laughter) Guess its just you and me Twily. (winks at her)

Twilight: (Blushing) Y...Yeah, are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Brad: Damn straight! Let me get my dice and pencil! (Laughter)

(We cut outside to the hallway where Colgate is dragging Norman, they pass Trixie at a vending machine getting peanut butter crackers)

Colgate: (Stopping briefly) Excuse me, miss? (This gets Trixie’s attention) You should be careful.  Peanut Butter removes minerals from the body and can cause tooth decay. (She drags Norman away as he mouths a silent “Help me” to Trixie) (Laughter)

Trixie: (Turning back to the machine) You would never do anything to hurt the Great and Powerful love of your life, would you Vendy? (Silence) Of course you wouldn’t. (Laughter)

(We see Colgate dragging Norman through the parking lot, quick cut to a window on the sixth floor where Rarity sees this)

Rarity: (Gasping) Norman is with another woman!  Why would he do this to me?  This is the WORST....POSSIBLE...THING! (she faints onto the big red couch in her living room)

(We see Sweetie Belle roll her eyes at the predictable reaction)

Sweetie: Why don’t you ask him?

Rarity: (Getting up) Sweetie Belle, what could you possibly understand about love, you’re still in high school?

Sweetie: (Under her breath) Tell that to Brad...(Laughter)

Rarity:  What was that?

Sweetie: Nothing...

Rarity:  Fine, two can play this game.  I’ll go to Pinkie’s Party with someone Norman despises...

(Cut back to the parking lot, we see Colgate drag Norman past Scott)

Scott: Whoa Norman, you in that much of a hurry for the Xbox 1, you freaking Pleb?

Norman: Screw you, Green! (Laughter)

(Back to Rarity)

Rarity: and I think I know just the person.

(End of Act 2)

 



(Scene 3: We open up on a large fourth of July party going on on the rooftop of the apartment complex, everyone is there.  Even Brad’s band has gotten back together to play for the guests, they are just finishing a song as we enter in)

Brad: (Stepping to a microphone) Thank you!  That was our new song, “We’re Gonna Make Love (Until You Wake Up)! (Laughter)

Norman: (To Twilight who is standing next to him) That seems fitting. (Laughter)

Twilight: So how did you dental cleaning go?

Norman: The only reason I did it was so that Colgate would get some practice and so I would look good for Aryan Beauty.

Twilight: (Nervously) Yeah....about that (looks toward Rarity)

Norman: (Looks too, his face drops as he sees Rarity dancing with Scott) Her!   With freaking Green....no way!

Twilight: Yeah they came here together....don’t really know why.  Did she say anything to you, Norman? (he’s gone) Norman? (Looks around for him)

(We see Rarity give a small smile but then think better of it)

(We cut to Norman away from the party on the side when Colgate shows up)

Colgate: What’s wrong?

Norman: Aryan Beauty is dancing with that freaking Hipster.

Colgate: You know what you should do at a time like this?

Norman: What?

Colgate: (Grabbing his hand and pulling him toward the dance floor) Make her jealous.

(We see the normal rom-com style scenes of the two couples trying to one up each other of the dance floor, maybe its the years of dodgeball but Norman can really move.  Some of the moves are rather interesting causing the audience to laugh.  We cut to Rarity and Scott)

Rarity: Spin me more, that will get him really jealous. (Laughter)

Scott: What do you see in the freaking pleb anyways?

Rarity: Eh?

Scott: Well, look at him, he’s part of the console untermenschen, he will shell out exorbitant amounts of money for an inferior product and he only listens to mainstream bands.

(As he has been saying this, Rarity has been getting a more and more annoyed look on her face)

Rarity: You’re wrong!  Norman is a wonderful person!  He took me on a wonderful date!  He did my curtains for me!  He let me make a suit for him!  Most importantly, he genuinely cares for me and his friends!

Scott: Tell him that then. (He spins Rarity and lets her go as Colgate does the same to Norman, they meet in the middle of the dance floor balancing each other.  Colgate and Scott smile and go off to dance with each other)

Norman: (Nervous) Hi Rarity.

Rarity: (embarrassedly looking away) Hello Darling.  

Norman: You look good tonight.

Rarity: Thank you, as do you.

Norman: (Looking at his dress clothes and smiling at her) Well, you made it.

Rarity: (Blushing) Oh...yes of course.  Your smile looks good.

Norman: Oh....(blushing as well) well thats thanks to Colgate.  I let her practice her dentistry the other day.  She practically dragged me to the school.

Rarity: (Putting two and two together) So thats where you went the other day.

Norman: Yeah...you saw that.

Rarity: Norman, darling, I owe you an apology.  I...I thought you were going out with her.

Norman: Rarity, I would never do that.  I care too much for you and all you do.  More importantly, you don’t need to apologize.

(The two look into each others eyes and start to lean toward each other but are interrupted by fireworks in the background that they turn to look at.  As the camera zooms out, we see Norman put his arm around Rarity.) (Audience: Awwwww)

(End of Act 3)

 

 

(After credits scene)

(We open on Norman’s apartment, he and Rarity are sitting on the couch, his arm around her, we hear the end of the Capitol Fourth Concert from Washington on the TV)

Norman: Really!  They get Barry Manilow and he isn’t even going to perform “Copa Cabana”? (Laughter)

Rarity: He performed six songs over two sets, darling.  Thats more than any of the other guests.

Norman: And?.....you know what...no, Screw You, Manilow! (Laughter)

(Brad enters carrying a passed out Colgate)

Norman: What’s up?

Brad: Oh this....(Starts walking toward his room) Colgate was kind enough to let me test some of her anesthetics on her. (Laughter)

Rarity: Where are you going?

Brad: To make her rinse and spit!

(Laughter) (End of Episode)

(Next Week: Episode 6: Concerto Chaos)