Episode 2: A Date with Destiny

Episode 2 (Scene 1:  Open into Brad and Norman’s apartment.  We see Norman at the sink cleaning the dishes.  There is something odd about him, he is happily humming to himself and swaying back and forth while washing the dishes.  Enter Brad doing the Kramer slide out of the door to his room.  He looks flushed, as though he has just exerted a lot of energy.)

Brad: That...was...Bradical!!! (Laughter) (Notices that Norman doesn’t cringe but goes on humming)  Hey Norm, what’s got you in such a good mood?

Norman: Something great happened to me.

Brad: I can tell, you didn’t even get mad when I brought that orange haired gardener girl home with me. (Laughter)

Norman: (In a somewhat dreamy voice) I have a date with the Aryan Beauty tomorrow!

Brad:  The Aryan Beauty???  You mean Rarity, like girl next door Rarity?

Norman: (Dreamily) Yeah...the Aryan Beauty. (Laughter)

Brad: Good for you, but you know you should probably call her by her real name.  Otherwise more people might think you are a racist.

Norman: (Still dreamily) I’m not a racist, I’m a melting pot of friendship. (Laughter).

(Brad rolls his eyes and begins to walk away when there is a knock at the door)

Brad:  I’ll get it, I wouldn’t want you getting lost walking on clouds to get over here. (Laughter)

(He looks through the peephole and visibly tenses up.)

Brad: It’s Harshwhinny....we still haven’t paid the rent. (This causes Norman to snap out of it).

Norman: Crap...she’s really gonna throw us out this time.

Brad: Should I get my stuff?

Norman: In emergencies such as this, who am I to judge. (Laughter)

(Brad rushes to his room while Norman opens the door.  Enter Harshwhinny.  There is something different about her.  She seemingly has a spring in her step.  She is dressed more like a young woman in her twenties would.  The conservative character of before is gone, this is a new woman)

Harshwhinny: (Batting her eyelashes) Hello Norman!

Norman: Oh, hello Miss Harshwhinny, lovely weather we're having isn’t it?

Harshwhinny: (Breathily) It certainly is LOVEly...

Norman: Listen....about the rent, if you could give Brad and I another wee...(Harshwhinny puts a finger to his lips) (Brad walks in to see this transpiring and nearly drops his chloroform (laughter)

Harshwhinny: Now now Norman....I think there is another way we could settle the rent...

Norman: (Backing up against a wall while she pushes forward, his voice cracks a little) You do?

Harshwhinny: Oh yes, I was thinking, after you showed how you really felt about me, maybe you would want to go get some dinner with me tomorrow...you buy, and we call the rent even...

(Norman’s sees Brad behind her, up until this point, Brad was ready to knock her out, but now he has lowered the rag and is nodding to Norman.)

Norman: (Confused if not a bit scared) I...I guess that would work.

Harshwhinny: Grand, I’ll see you tomorrow, Norman. (She turns and sees Brad who is now using the rag to clean the countertop and look busy) Hello Brad.

Brad: Hello, M’am. (She Exits)

Norman: (Sitting on the couch, head in hands) I never should have kissed her.

Brad: I’ve said that before...now if you’ll excuse me, I have to sow the seeds in my room. (laughter)  End of scene.

 



(Scene 2: A Nice restaurant: A very Nervous Norman is seen sitting at a table...he is kind of in shock...we zoom in on his face and as we zoom out, we see him on the couch as part of a flashback)

Norman: What am I going to do...I told Aryan Beauty I would go out to dinner with her tomorrow.

Brad: (Sitting next to him, puts his arm around his shoulder) Calm down, we will find a way to get through this.

Norman: How, pray tell, do we do that?

Brad:  Um...you go to two restaurants next door to each other and excuse yourself to the bathroom at one date...run next door to the other for five minutes, then do the same to return...you just keep alternating through the night.

Norman:  What do you think this is, some sort of sitcom. (Both stare directly at the camera) (Laughter) (They snap back into arguing)

Brad: Well, do you have anything better?

Norman: No...(realization) Shoot!  Brad...can I ask you a favor?

Brad: Sure.

Norman: Well, Aryan Beauty and I....

Brad: Rarity...

Norman: Rarity and I are still planning on going out but she needs someone to take care of her sister while we are on our date.

Brad: You mean Sweetie Belle?

Norman: Yeah.

Brad: (Surprisingly loud as he loses his cool) Hell no!

Norman: Eh....what is it with you and Sweetie Belle.  You basically babysat her and her friends at Blue’s house that one time....

Brad: (Has a one thousand yard stare as he thinks back to that night) You weren’t there man! (Laughter)

Norman: You wanna talk about it?

Brad: No!  (snaps his fingers) I got it...remember that time with Miss Christy, the counselor?

Norman:  You mean that time you dressed up as me and raped her?

Brad: Yeah!

Norman: and then the cops took me away and held me without bail because they didn’t understand DNA testing and even when they did, they only let me go because I didn’t match a mysterious DNA that they couldn’t trace.

Brad: (Excitingly nodding)

Norman: (Angrily) No....can’t say I remember that at all! (laughter) What about it?

Brad:  I pose as you and take out Harshwhinny while you go out with Rarity.

Norman: That....that might actually work....I...I may have to forgive you for all you’ve done.

Brad: Bradical!

Norman: (Cringes) (Laughter)

Brad: It will totally work Norman....Norman...(dissolve back to restaurant)

Rarity: Norman....hello....Norman

Norman: (Snaps to attention) Oh...hello Ary....er...Rarity.

(End of Scene)

(Scene 3: Still at the restaurant.  We see Norman with Rarity.  She is an absolutely beautiful girl.  Truly a vision of beauty in a white summer dress with three diamonds sewn near the bottom hem.  It really makes one wonder how Norman could even score a date with her.  The two are finishing dinner and are chuckling at a joke Norman just made)

Rarity: Oh Norman, you are a card.  I am so happy Applejack agreed to take care of Sweetie Belle and the Girls tonight.  I would have hated to have had to cancel our time together.  Its a shame Brad came up ill though, Sweetie really wanted to spend time with him for some reason.

Norman: Yes...its truly a tragedy.  Horrible things seem to befall him. (Inner voice over:Like going out with Harshwhinny) (Laughter).  Would you like more wine?  I’m sorry I kind of had to go cheaper than what you're used to.

Rarity: Nonsense Norman, it is wonderful to be out with you like this. (She holds up her glass as Norman starts to fill it.  Thats when he gets a surprised look on his face.  Looking over Rarity’s shoulder he sees himself sitting and facing him.  Harshwhinny, in a low cut black dress has her back to him.  The two make eye contact making the exact same surprised expression, it is like looking in a mirror (laughter))

Rarity: Careful Norman, you nearly filled my glass to the brim.

Norman: Snaps out of it....oh...sorry.  

Rarity: Its quite alright, but it would seem you really wish for me to drink a bit tonight, I assure, I’m not that easy. (The two laugh, although Norman’s is a bit more nervous. Rarity raises her glass) To us?

Norman: To us! (They clink the glasses.  In an attempt to calm his nerves downs his glass in one go.  He sees Brad get up and nod toward the bathroom.) Ah...if you’ll excuse me a second.

Rarity: Of course!

(Norman gets up to go to the bathroom, the camera changes to Harshwhinny who is seen dropping something into her date’s wine.  Norman enters the bathroom but Brad is nowhere to be found.  The bathroom is rather odd with a sink in the middle of the floor.  It is two sided allowing for many people to washup at once.  He looks down and splashes water on his face.  As he does so a toilet his heard flushing.  When Norman looks up he sees himself in the “mirror.” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5lU52aWTJo basically follows) (Laughter)

Norman: Brad!  What are you doing here.  

Brad: I got screwed up and thought you were at the place next door.

Norman: Well...I’m not! (Laughter)

Brad: Norman..Relax....we will get through this.

Norman: Man...you really do look like me.  The cops must only arrest good looking guys....guess we know why they never got you...(Laughter)

Brad: Very funny...tell you what, you head out first....then I’ll go back to Harshwhinny and get out of here before you and Rarity head to the exit to see that movie.

Norman: Okay..deal...(Starts to leave) oh...and Brad...

Brad: Yeah?

Norman: (Quick Bro Hug) Thanks for this. (Audience:Awww)

Brad: Go get her.

Norman: (Walks out and immediately proceeds to get lost, he wanders a bit) Damn it! (Keeps wandering until...)

Harshwhinny: Yoo Hoo!  Norman, over here...

Norman: Double Damn it! (Laughter)  Hey....(sits down with her)

Harshwhinny:...I was worried about you, you took a while in there.  Here, have some wine and then we can go out to the movie.

Norman: (Inner Dialogue: Damn it Brad, you were going to take her to the same movie...you idiot....I take back that Bro Hug!) (Laughter) You know....maybe we should skip the movie...do something else instead.

Harshwhinny: (Putting her hand on Normans.  In a seductive voice) I like the way you think.  Now, how about that wine.  

(Brad comes out and starts toward the table and is seen by Rarity.  She waves to him and he waves back and almost walks by, forgetting his character until he sees a visibly freaked out Norman.  Harshwhinny goes into her purse for a minute)

Norman: (Whispering and mouthing to Brad) Help Me! (Laughter)

(Brad nods and sits down with Rarity)

Rarity: Norman, are you alright...?

Brad: Fine...just fine...bit of a line in the bathroom, thats all...

Rarity:  Well, I guess we can pay and get going then...(She reaches for her purse)

Brad: (Thinking Quickly) No no, m’lady.  Allow me to cover this. (Pulls out his wallet)

Rarity: (Smiling) Such a gentleman.  Well then I guess I will freshen up before the movie.

Brad: Of course...(Rarity leaves for the bathroom).

(Brad starts looking around for a distraction of some kind.  Meanwhile with Norman)

Harshwhinny: Come on Norman, the sooner you finish your wine, the sooner we can do...something else. (she bats her eyelashes again.)

Norman:...yeah....yeah sure thing (He starts to raise the glass to his lips....(all of the sudden, the glass breaks in his hand spilling the wine.  Norman looks down to see a keychain with his apartments key on it and looks up to see Brad waving at him.  He sees no Rarity and gets up) Oh my...I’ll go get a waiter to clean that up.  Be right back.

Harshwhinny: Take your time. (As Brad leaves she puts something in her own wine glass and puts it in Norman’s place)

(Brad and Norman walk toward each other and tagout, Norman giving Brad his key back)

Norman: Thanks man.

Brad: No problem.

(Brad sits back down with Harshwhinny, downs his wine in one quick gulp and holds out his hand) Shall we.

Harshwhinny: (Giggling) We certainly shall. (They leave just as Rarity returns from the restroom.)

Rarity: Ready for the movie.

Norman: Absolutely!

(The two leave hand in hand and turn left out of the exit toward the theater.  The camera pans right of the door to the parking lot where Brad is doubled over a bit)

Brad: Oh my....that meal didn’t agree with me.

Harshwhinny: Well, we’d better get you back to your place then. (She giggles a bit...kind of threateningly)

(End Of Episode)

 

(Scene during the credits much like Seinfeld would have)

(Norman and Rarity are at her door later that night)

Rarity: Thank for tonight Norman.  I had a great time.

Norman: It was my pleasure...so did I.  Um....would it be alright if we did this again some time?

Rarity: I’d like that...(she leans in and kisses him on the cheek) (Audience: wooooooo!) Goodnight Norman.

Norman: (Dreamily): Goodnight Aryan Beauty. (Laughter)

Rarity: What?

Norman: (Snaps out of it) Good Night Rarity!

(Cut to inside of apartment, it is dark.  Norman comes running in excited and sees Brad on the Couch)

Norman:  She said we can go out again!  Yes!  Good night Brad! (Runs to his room)

(The Camera pans to Brad still dressed as Norman:  he is shaking and looks disheveled.  He looks like a man who has had the life screwed out of him)

Brad: Mommy! (Freeze frame and laughter to close the show)