Episode 18: B-Listers in the Sun

B-Listers in the Sun

 

(Scene opens on the main quad at Canterlot College.  We see Lyra walking on her way to class.  She seems to be ignoring the goings on around her but one conversation stops her in her tracks.  She jumps into a bush to audience laughter and pulls a branch aside to reveal Twilight and Rarity)

Rarity: So you’re going back to Equestria?

Twilight: Only for a few days.  The mirror in the statue will reopen the portal.  I can go back, let my friends on the other side know I am okay, check in with the Princess, and then come back here.

Rarity: Won’t it be hard to get used to being a pony again?

(Quick Cut to Lyra)

Lyra: Pony! (Laughter)

Twilight: To be honest, I should probably go back simply to Practice my flying.  I still haven’t gotten used to my wings yet.

Lyra: Wings?! (Laughter)

Rarity: True...it would appear you’re better suited to walking on two legs after all this time.

(The two walk off laughing and talking.  Lyra pops out of the bush with a huge smile on her face and a bird’s nest on her head.) Laughter)

(Cut to the next day and Lyra and Bonbon are sitting on the quad together, Lyra is gesticulating wildly telling a story)

Lyra: ...and then she said that the mirror opens a portal to another Equestria!

Bonbon: (Not listening) uh huh.

Lyra: And guess what she is in the other Equestria?

Bonbon: (Uninterested) Whatever could it be?

Lyra: A pony with wings!

Bonbon: (Deadpan) Amazing.

Lyra: And its all run by a Princess!

Bonbon: (Perking up) A land run by a woman!?  Now you have my attention! (Laughter)

Lyra: (Leaning in close to her) So here’s the plan…whisper whisper whisper...you got that.

Bonbon: All you said was “Whisper whisper whisper”. (Laughter)

Lyra: Yeah but as soon as I have an actual plan I will totally tell you about it!

Bonbon: (Facepalm) I look forward to it. (Laughter)

(New scene inside the college music building, we see Octavia in her usual green-wig disguise.  Enter Vinyl)

Vinyl: Heeeyyyy Tavi!  What’s up?

Octavia: Vinyl!  I told you not to use my name when we are together.

Vinyl: Why not?

Octavia: Because what will the school say if it’s best string player is seen with the school’s loudest DJ.

Vinyl: That we are a wacky, odd couple pairing that would fit well in a sitcom. (Both turn and look directly at the camera for a beat) (Laughter)

Octavia: That may be but I must ask you to call me Patricia when we are together.

Vinyl: Yeah...about that.

Octavia: What?

Vinyl: Well, everyone sees you walking past the high school every morning and they are kind of starting to say things.

Octavia: Things...what type of things?

(Vinyl whispers something in her ear)

Octavia: (Yelling) They think I’m a what!?

Vinyl: Don’t cause a scene Tavi...Chris Hanson might show up. (Laughter)

Octavia: (Angry) I’ll show them...I can be friendly with people my age.  I’ll go on a date.  That will show them.

Vinyl: With who?

Octavia: (Panicking) Uh...Norman….he needs to take responsibility after all! (Laughter)

Vinyl: You’re still going on about that?  

Octavia: As if I ever stopped? (Laughter)

Vinyl: All he did was accidentally strip you at a club back in High School….oh and that time after your big concert...but c’mon...all your shows are sold out now.

Octavia: Yeah….to all the pig headed guys that go to this school hoping to see some skin.

Bonbon: (Passing in the background with a cart full of supplies) You said it, Sister! (Laughter)

(A final scene shift to the College Dining hall where we see Zecora, Spitfire, Chloe, and Sophie eating lunch together)

Spitfire: (With a pronounced, chav British Accent) So then, I says to ‘em, I says “You wot, mate...’ow dare you say the goddamned Mackem’s ‘ill bet United...I ‘ave a right mind to pop you roight in teh gabber, I do”  That’ll show ‘im.

Chloe: (To Zecora) Is she always this much of a Hooligan?

Zecora: While her impression I do applaud, she is merely an American who went abroad. (Laughter)

Chloe: You mean she isn’t English?

Spitfire: (In her normal voice) Afraid not...I still hate Sunderland, though. (Laughter)

Zecora: (Turning to Sophie) While the rest of us are jubilant, It is you who is so silent.

Sophie: Sorry...I’ve just been deep in thought is all.  

Spitfire: What’s wrong, Soph….(grinning) is it a boy?

Sophie: (Blushing) No...never!  How could you say that?

Spitfire: (Getting up to get a drink) Relax...I was only kidding.

Chloe: (Knowing about Sophie’s thoughts regarding Norman) I know who might help you. (She points and Sophie follows her hand to Brad who is talking to Atomic Adam)

(Camera cuts to Adam and Brad talking with Sophie Approaching from behind)

Brad:...and it was so Bradcal.  Scott’s apartment is totally bigger on the inside but you won’t believe why...it turns out it is a…(Noticing) oh...hey Sophie.

Sophie: Can I talk to you….in private.

Brad: (With a sly grin and air of confidence) Certainly, I’ll talk to you later, Adam.

(Cut to Brad opening a broom closet)

Brad: Step into my office. (Laughter)

Sophie: (All business) Out here is fine.  Listen up...I need to talk to Norman...so you need to not be at your apartment for a while…

Brad: Uh huh...and what’s in it for me?

Sophie: I defend you in student court next time you screw up.

Brad: Sold! (Laughter to end scene)

 



(Scene 2 opens later on the same day.  We see Lyra and Bonbon with the wagon full of supplies.  It has a set of walkie talkies, rope, and numerous other objects.  They are walking toward the High School)

Lyra: This is going to be so awesome.

Bonbon: (With an obviously different voice from the scene before) So what’s the plan then, Ly.  

Lyra: Alright, step one: You are going to tie a rope to my waist.

Bonbon: How is that any different from a normal Friday night. (Laughter)

Lyra: Then, you will act as an anchor and I will go through the mirror.

Bonbon: Right.

Lyra: Then, using the walkie talkies, I will report back my findings to you.  If for any reason it gets a little crazy in there, I will let you know and you can pull me out of there.

Bonbon: Alright.  If its really cool you’re going to come out and let me go in for a bit right?

Lyra: Uh….yeah...sure, that.  (Changing subject as they arrive at school)  I can’t believe that our old High School housed a portal to another world this whole time.  

Bonbon: Well, it would explain all the ridiculous supernatural crap that would occur on campus.

Lyra: Like?

Bonbon: Oh...I dunno, the fact that we evidently went to school with a pony princess, or the fact that the prom queen became a demon and destroyed it.

Lyra: (Realization) Oh yeah….(Laughter)

(Bonbon grabs the rope and starts tying it around Lyra’s waist)

Bonbon: Alright...This should be secure enough.  Are you ready?

Lyra: (Handing her a Walkie Talkie) I think so.  

Bonbon: Alright.  Good luck.

Lyra: (Taking a deep breath) This is one small step for a girl, one giant leap for horse fans everywhere.

(She take off at a run and rams into the statue’s base)

Bonbon: (Covering her eyes) Maybe you should try the side that faces the school. (Laughter)

Lyra: (dazed) Maybe you should just go F…woah! (She falls through the mirror into Equestria)

(Change to Lyra’s point of view as she opens her eyes while inside Canterlot Castle, crackling from the walkie talkie can be heard)

Bonbon: TZZT Ly….Ly are you alright?

(Lyra’s POV looks around groggily, then looks down and sees hooves, Cut to a view of Lyra looking like her pony form screaming ala Twilight from EQG)  (Laughter).

(Change scene to the interior of Norman’s Apartment.  There is a knock at the door as Norman goes and answers it.  We see Sophie on the otherside)

Sophie: H...Hey Norman.

Norman: Oh hey Light Green Lawyer

Sophie: (mentally) Eh...close enough. (Laughter) (Aloud) So Norman….would you like to take a look at my briefs?

Norman: (Taken Aback) I...I beg your pardon?

Sophie: I mean…(She reaches behind the back of her head and shakes out her hair) Do you think I can get you to drop your suit?

Norman:(A little creeped out) What?

Sophie: (Forcing him back to the couch and sitting down next to him, perhaps a little too close) What I’m saying is I think I committed a penal offense and deserve the stiffest punishment you can give me. (Laughter)

Norman: (Trying to get up) Well Light Green, this has been eye opening but you really should be goi…(She pulls him back down)

Sophie: All I’m saying is that if you ever find yourself in trouble…(She get close to his earlobe and whispers seductively) I can get you off.

Norman: (Scared) I need an adult.

Sophie: (Seductively) For all intents and purposes of the law, I am an adult.

Norman: Eep…(Laughter)

(The screen goes a bit wobbly and we see that this was all in Sophie’s head as she stands at the end of Norman’s apartment building’s hallway)

Sophie: That’s how I’m going to do it. (Laughter)

(She starts forward but stops when she sees Octavia standing at Norman’s door)

Sophie: What’s Tavi doing here?

(Octavia knocks and waits a few seconds.  The door opens and Norman appears, takes one look at Octavia, and slams the door) (Laughter)

Octavia: Norman Normal!  Open this door!  We need to talk!

Norman: (Voice muffled through the door) No...you might try to shove a clarinet up my ass again.

Sophie: Wow!  Tavi’s into the weird stuff. (Laughter)

Octavia: You must take responsibility, Norman.

Norman: Never

Sophie: Responsibility?  Did….did Norman and Tavi?  No...no no no...calm down Sophie.  Norman is the purest husbando in the entire school.  I’m sure its just a misunderstanding.

Octavia: (Kicking the door) No one sees me undressed twice and gets away with it.

(Sophie can be seen in the background freaking out) (Laughter)

(Octavia hears her commotion and turns around shooting a look at Sophie that causes her to stop)

Tavi: (Quietly) How long have you been listening for?

Sophie: Ah….er...not long, I just got here. It’s not like I heard the part about Norman needing to take responsibility.

Octavia: Sophie, come here please.

Sophie: I’m good.

Octavia: Sophie, Here, Now!

(Sophie walks toward her like a condemned man walks the green mile.  They stop and stare at one another)

Octavia: You’re going to help me get in.

Sophie: How?

(Octavia reaches into Sophie’s hair and pulls out a hairpin causing it to fall down and gets to work picking the lock which makes a clicking noise)

Octavia: That’s how.

(She opens the door and proceeds to walk into numerous boards and furniture piled up against it in a makeshift barricade)

Octavia: I will get you yet Norman Normal!  (She notices Sophie trying to sneak away) And you are going nowhere.

Sophie: Eep! (Laughter to end scene)

 



(Scene Three we see highlights of Lyra’s day in Canterlot.  She has met the princesses and traveled all around the city.  She seems rather happy to be in the Equestrian world)

Bonbon: (Again with a completely different voice, over the walkie talkie) Lyra….Lyra are you there?  Lyra come in! Do you need assistance?!

Lyra: Oh, hey Bonbon.

Bonbon: Thank Faust, you’re alive!  What is it like over there?

Lyra: It’s amazing!  Everyone here is a talking pony and they all seem like allegories to the people we go to school with!  The land is ruled by two princesses and it seems like there are ten girls to every guy here.

Bonbon: Uh, could you repeat that last part?

Lyra: It seems like a world run by females.  Stallions are few and far between.  Oh Bonbon, I wish you could see it.

(We zoom out and see pony Bonbon next to her)

Bonbon: See what? (Laughter)

Lyra: Bonbon?!  

Bonbon: I came as soon as you told me about the whole no stallions part.  See, this is proof that the world would be a better place with a female president.

Lyra: Wait a sec...if you are here in pony world with me, who’s on the other side of the mirror to pull us out if things get crazy.

Bonbon: ...Ooooohhhh...wow, guess I didn’t think this through all the way. (Laughter)

Lyra: Bonbon, you were my lifeline.  

Bonbon: Yeah but, I got worried I’d never get to see Equestria.  

Lyra: Welp, you’ve seen it.  Now go back to the other side of the mirror to pull me out

Bonbon: I want to explore more.

Lyra: Bonbon!

Bonbon: Lyra!

(They rear up on their hind legs and engage in the pony equivalent of a slap fight)

Donut Joe: (Yelling) Hey, Everyone!  Mare Fight!  Mare Fight! (Laughter)

(Every stallion in Canterlot has surrounded them to watch cheering them on)

Bonbon: Check your privilege you stallion scum! (Laughter)

(The stallions continue watching)

Lyra: We should probably go.

Bonbon: Agreed.  Truce?

Lyra: Truce!

(They go to leave but are still blocked by the stallions)

Both: Uh oh. (Laughter)

(Cut back to Norman’s apartment where Sophie is staring at Norman’s barricade.  Enter Octavia with an axe)

Sophie: Where’d you get that.

Octavia: I told Axel that there was a barricade breaking the law and that I would like to deal with it personally.

Sophie: And he just let you have it.

(Cut to the music room at the college, we see Axel stumbling around with his head inside of a tuba trying to get it off)

Octavia: I was very persuasive. (Laughter)

(She begins swinging through the barricade. We cut inside where we see Norman cowering in his usual spot behind the couch) (Laughter)

Sophie: I still don’t get why you are trying to make Norman take responsibility.  It sounds like everything that happened between you and him were honest mistakes.

Octavia: (In between swings) To be honest, I kind of got put up to this by Vinyl.  And anyways, what does it matter, its not like you like him or anything.

Sophie: (Blushing) er….

Octavia: (Realization) You do, don’t you.

Sophie: (Nervous) Kind of...I mean...it’s not as if I have a shrine to him in my closet or anything crazy like that...who said that...haha...who’s talking so loud...you’re crazy.

Octavia: Look, Sophie.  I am really sorry but I have to do this. (She rears back to take another swing with the axe but Sophie holds it back)

Sophie: I can’t let you do that, Tavi.

(She pushes Octavia out of the way)

Sophie: Norman!  It’s me, Sophie.  I got rid of the Kraut...you can come out now…

(She is shoved by Octavia)

Octavia: Why you double-crossing no good…(She goes back to breaking down the barricade.  She manages to make a hole big enough for her head which she proceeds to poke into the room.  She sees Norman cowering at the couch) Here’s Tavi! (Laughter)

(Almost as soon as she says this, she is pulled out by Sophie)

Sophie: Norman is mine!

(There is a bit of a scuffle on the floor of the hall, in the background we see Rarity leave her apartment and walk nextdoor to Norman’s.  She notices the two girls)

Rarity: Octavia!  Sophie!  What is the meaning of this?

(Both stop)

Sophie: Uh...we were just…

Octavia: rehearsing a scene….

Sophie: from a play….

Octavia: about an axe wielding cop….

Sophie: and the women he loves….

(Rarity looks at the two of them, for a second she seems to have seen through them, then)

Rarity: Wonderful!  Do you need costumes?

(Octavia and Sophie look at eachother)

Octavia: uh….

Sophie: We’ll ask the director?

Rarity: Wonderful, now if you’ll excuse me. (she knocks on Norman’s barricade) Norman darling, are you in?

Norman: (Running to the door and tearing down the barricade) My savior!

Rarity: We’re just going out to dinner, no need to be a drama queen. (Laughter)

(The two leave)

(Octavia and Sophie stare at the scene and at each other)

Sophie: Norman...and...and Rarity?

Octavia: (Smirking then looking at Sophie holding out her hand) Truce?

Sophie: (Taking it) Truce!

 

(After credits scene:  We see Lyra and Bonbon running from the crowd of stallions through the halls of Canterlot Castle.  They succeed in getting to the room with the mirror and run through it with Bonbon nailing a barricade across the mirror of the statue)

Lyra: You know what, Bon?

Bonbon: What’s that, Ly?

Lyra: I’m pretty cool with being a human.

Bonbon: Agreed! (Laughter)

(Back at Norman’s apartment, Brad walks in to find himself alone)

Brad: Bradical!

(Cut to the restaurant with Norman and Rarity)

Norman: (Cringe intensifies) (Laughter)

(Back to apartment, Brad turns on the light only to find Sophie in the chair in front of him)

Brad: Faust, Sophie, you scared me for a second there.

Sophie: Norman and Rarity?  You didn’t think you were leaving out an important part there?

Brad: Well, I wasn’t sure why you wanted to talk to him.

Sophie: Sounds like you need to be taught a lesson.

Brad: I’m okay with this. (Laughter)

Sophie: I bet you are, isn’t that right, Tavi?

(Brad turns and sees Octavia with a clarinet in her hands)

Brad: Oh hey, Octavia...what are you doing? (She and Sophie close in on him from both sides)  What are we gonna do with the clarinet? (Realization) Mommy! (Freeze frame and laughter to end scene)