Archivist Anon Part II

>you are Anon

>you are in terrible terrible agony

>you're slightly comforted by a pleasant breeze, with the aroma of flowers wafting in on this

>boy, you sure are glad you decided to take the day off

>for some reason your eyes won't open

>well, this is kinda relaxing anyway

>

>

>

>oh yeah

>your NMR exploded

>

>

>"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

>you attempt to bolt upright, and almost manage to do so, before falling off to the side

>but hey, at least your eyes opened because of the shock

>you see a two purple... legs with hooves?

>and a pair of yellow legs with hooves?

>the purple ones look kinda daintier than the yellow ones

>suddenly you hear a voice above you

"Oh my, I hope he wasn't hurt."

"I think I lowered him rather gently. It's difficult catching a... hmm... honestly, I've never seen a creature like this before. Have you, Twilight?"

>Twilight? Creature? Hurt? What the hell is going on?

>a male voice interjects

>"He kinda looks like a shaved Diamond Dog."

>a purple face with green frills and green eyes and HOLY SHIT RAZOR SHARP TEETH AND A SNAKE TONGUE leans into your field of view

"You're not a Diamond Dog, are you?"

>"Nrrrrrrrrrrgh."

>the face moves away

"No, Spike, Diamond Dog facial structure is much different. This... this is some unknown species."

>"Mrrrrrphhhhn."

>"It doesn't seem to be able to talk."

>the softer voice came from the owner of the yellow hooves

>holy shit

>hooves and voices

 

>you're either knocked out and dreaming or maybe you died and went to hell

>guess you shouldn't have tampered with the code of life, huh?

>god is gonna be pissed

>you figured demonic voices would be more... harsh than these

>these sound downright pleasant

>unless of course you haven't died, and instead are just dreaming

>in which case, you're gonna go see your psychiatrist and have them prescribe some pills to make this go away

>one of the yellow legs shifts, and touches you on the shoulder

"Shhh, it'll be okay. Can you point to where it hurts."

>well, your everything hurts

>except you seem to slur out words

>here goes nothing

>"Errrying."

>the purple legs jump up, and the higher voice sounds excited

"I think it's trying to communicate!"

>you attempt to nod, but your muscles aren't very responsive

>"Yeth."

>"Hey Fluttershy, do you have a waterbowl somewhere nearby? Maybe it just needs a drink?"

>you attempt to nod again, as you hear the person called Fluttershy affirm that she does in fact possess a bowl, and that Twilight (presumably the owner of the higher voice) should go get it

>what kind of a name is Fluttershy anyway?

>you see the purple legs move away from you, and you see it's a... quadruped?!

>okay, you're definitely dreaming

>a dainty-looking thing that looks like a horse... except with a... horn?

>so a unicorn

>is galloping away from your field of view

>wat

>you attempt shift your position

>SOME SUCCESS!

>you roll over on your back

>a... yellow face with huge green eyes and a pink mane are looking at you with an unmistakenly concerned expression

>judging from her coloration, you assume that this creature is probably either a top predator, or ridiculously poisonous, because holy shit, she would stick out like a sore thumb in... any environment

>then again, you're either dreaming or dead, so applying traditional logic to nonstandard events.... is actually a pretty good idea

 

>if you're dreaming that is, because then you can use it to wake up, hopefully

>if you're dead, well

>and through strange aeons, even death may die

>where did that come from

>you blink

>she does too

"Hello, strange creature. My friend Twilight is going to bring you back some water, and you'll feel right as, um... water. Goodness, that was lame wasn't it..."

>you can't help but grin at that

>besides she's kind of adorable, in a hallucinatory sort of way

>"Yeth. Phank oo."

>why the hell are you slurring

>you see a purple and green bipedal lizard thing standing a couple of feet away

"Hi, I'm Spike!"

>you attempt a little wave, but can't do it from your position

>you struggle to get up, but she places a hoof on your chest

>"Oh no you don't, mister. You went through some kind of magical portal, and you fell pretty hard. I'm very sorry about that - I'm not used to carring a pony and a... can you tell me what you are?"

>you lick your lips, and attempt to regain control over your tongue

>suddenly you hear footsteps... er, hoofbeats again

"Hey Fluttershy! I also grabbed your medicine kit just in case."

"Oh, good idea Twilight. Can you-"

>a bowl full of water floats towards your face

>it seems to be surrounded by a shimmering purple field of some kind

>Cherenkov radiation? Unlikely. Some kind of magnetic field, and the bowl... no, it seems to be made out of clay. Magic?

>you take a look around, and see that the unicorn's horn is glowing

>oh, and the yellow one is the pegasus, now that she stepped back

>so you... nah, nevermind

>let's just roll with it

>you crane your neck, and manage to touch the rim of the bowl. it floats closer, and you start guzzling down the water

>oh man, that hit the spot

>you move your arms, and manage to sit up

>holy shit your head is spinning

>"To answer your previous question, I am a human."

>the... unicorn and pegasus look at one another

>they burst out laughing

>gosh they look adorable

>"Why are you laughing?"

 

>the unicorn gives you a wide grin

"Well, humans don't look like you do, for one thing-"

>your eyes drop down. you're still wearing you lab coat, your jeans... nothing too abnormal

"-and they've been extinct over 1000 years or so."

>you look at them with your mouth open

>"EXTINCT?! EXPLAIN!!"

>you tried to shout, but it didn't come out loud enough

>they look at you quizzically

>you pull your legs under you, and fall forwards, standing on all fours. you're about level with them.

>you stand up, at about twice their height

>they look up at you, and Twilight, the purple unicorn, looks at you from another angle

"Hmm, well he is bipedal. He resembles a human superficially. Perhaps he's from some kind of degenerate offshoot?"

>you raise your eyebrow at her, and she mimics the motion

>the dragon sizes you up

"No, he's definitely not a Diamond Dog. Too tall, by far."

>"And you're colorful ponies who are either a figment of my imagination, or my eternal punishment. Degenerate. Pfft."

>the unicorn gives you a look, while the pegasus flies up and looks at you closely

"Eternal punishment? Figment of imagination? You must've took a blow to the head. Would you mind if I examined you?"

>you look at her, and wonder how the hell she's able to fly with those wings

>they aren't big enough or beating quickly enough to support her

>you nod, slowly

"Oh, and I'm gonna to the library, and get any human-related books I can!"

>with that she runs off, her dragon assistant in tow

>pfft, what does she know. she doesn't even have hands to read with

>though she was presmably manipulating that field that you saw her operate the bowl with, so maybe

>the pegasus flies in front of you, and points a hoof in the direction of the most ramshackle, and yet, oddly-cozy looking cottage a couple of meters away

>"You'll have to stoop a bit to get inside, I hope that's okay."

>you give a nod, and almost black out from the dizziness

>you follow her, and as she opens the door, you kneel, and go inside