[AiE] Remonte Du Temps (OHGODWHATWHY)

>"Anon, what exactly are you doing?"

"Shh. I'm harvesting the nails. They're coming in nicely this season."

>Twilight smacks her face with her hoof, groaning in pain once it connects.

>"Ow! Applejack is going to be furious that you're prying the nails from her barn."

>You look at her from your perch, with your trusty multitool in one of your hands, and a small pile of nails next to you.

"Quiet you. I need them more than she does."

>A quick tug, and the multi-tool is gently pulled from your grip.

>"What in the wide wide world of Equestria do you mean? What did you do with the rest of your stipend?"

>Yeah, so the Princess was cool enough to grant you a "Thank the Sun and Moon There's Only One of You" monthly stipend.

>She figured it would keep your hands occupied, and that you'd drink yourself into a coma within the first month.

>You raise your finger triumphantly in the air.

"BUT SHE THOUGHT WRONG!"

>Twilight narrows her eyes at you.

"WHO are you talking to?"

>You eye her suspiciously, stick the nails in your pockets, and jump.

>Landing face first, you raise you head, shake the mud and blood off your face, and grin at her.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

>She raises one eyebrow at you, and sighs loudly.

>"Okay, no. I can't deal with you when you get like this. You got so worked up over your 'secret project' that you've been acting crazier and crazier every day."

>You slither towards her.

>Like some kind of snake or something.

"Oh Twilight, Twilight, Twilight."

>You stand up, and give her a bear hug.

>She squeaks as you hug her, but then returns the hug, purple hooves squeezing your broad human shoulders.

>You whisper into her ear.

"Want to make out?"

>"WHAT?!"

>You grin at her.

"Maybe you didn't hear me. I said, would you like to see my big project?"

>She takes a step back and looks at you hesitantly.

"Uhhh. Sure?"

 

>The two of you make back to your house.

>Well, when you say house, you're not really giving it its due respect.

>With your own two hands, you expanded it.

>It now boasts a rather large workshop area, where you tinker with stuff.

>Occasionally ponies would complain to Madame Mayor about the loud noises, ticking, and banging that emnate from your house at night.

>Thankfully, the mayor explained that you were eccentric, and probably slightly insane due to being the only member of your species in Equestria.

>Twilight is trotting next to you while humming some kind of tune.

>The two of you stop in front of your door, and you place your hand on Twilight's chest.

>She's very fluffy.

>She looks up at you.

"Now, I've never shown this to anyo- anypony before. You have to -promise- you won't say a word!"

>She nods solemnly.

>"I promise."

>Good.

>Good.

>You open the door and motion her to come inside.

>Somewhere else, Rainbow Dash sneezes.

>You lead her to the workshop door, where you fumble with a bunch of keys for the insane amount of locks you installed.

>She eyes you suspiciously.

>"Anonymous, why the secrets."

>You grin and giggle.

"All will be revealed soon, my little pony."

>She groans loudly.

>You finally get the door open, and fling it open dramatically.

>Twilight's jaw drops as the two of your enter your workshop.

>"It's... it's..."

>You bounce up and down in excitement.

"I know! Isn't it beautiful!"

>"...It's a giant clock. Made out of wood."

 

>You grin and nod at her.

"It even works too!"

>And indeed it does.

>The second hand moves, making an ominous tick.

>She looks at you, completely and utterly baffled.

>"B-but... huh? HUH?! WHY?!"

>You smile, and put your arms around her again.

>She untenses a little.

>Good.

>Makes you feel a little sorry for what's about to come.

"I need your Wakfu."

>She blinks and looks at you.

>"My what-fu?"

"You're my waifu!"

>"STOP NOT MAKING SENSE!"

>Instead of replying, you smash your forehead into hers.

>While her horn did manage to cause you to bleed, your bone is harder than hers.

>Twilight Sparkle has left the building.

 

-Twilight Sparkle's POV-

>You slowly come to, blinking out the darkness from your eyes.

>Okay, Anon REALLY did it this time.

>You feel yourself lying on your back, so you try to get up.

>That's odd... you can't move.

>You cross your eyes, and try to look at your hooves.

>He restrained you.

>You think that you're going to upgrade him from "a nuisance" to "a menace."

>Thankfully you've still got your magic!

>You attempt to open the bindings with your horn.

>But your magic doesn't come to you!

>You start to feel little tendrils of panic worm their way through you.

>Looking up you see that he...

>That BUCKING idiot.

>He attached a plunger to your horn.

>And somehow that nullified your magic.

"Oh, good. You're awake."

>You hear his annoying giggle, as he steps into your field of view.

>Oh, merciful Celestia he looks...

>He looks ridiculous.

>He stole Lyra's mummy costume from Nightmare Night.

>And he's wearing a... welding mask? Only he stuck two pieces of blue cardboard on it.

>"Anon? If you let me go... I'll work with you on your clock."

>That's it, that's it.

>Just pacify him, you clever filly.

>He bends his neck, and looks at you from a rather creepy angle.

"Oh, but dear Twilight. Don't you want to know why I did all this?"

>Is this.. is he... serious?

>Is he about to start -monologuing- at you?

>You groan.

"You see, I figured that since your magic didn't help, and Celestia's magic didn't help... and nopony's magic helped - well, maybe I have magic of my own!"

>He makes a sweeping gesture towards the clock.

"And I figured that I possess time magic!"

>You refrain from snorting.

>He's about as magical as dishwater.

>You shift in your bonds, trying to get more comfortable.

>Somepony is bound to find you eventually.

"And so, I figured that I'd use your Wakfu to travel back in time! I'll use this device to turn back the weave of time, and warp back to a time before I got to Equestria, and I'll get to go home again! HOME!"

>You wince.

>Oh dear.

>He snapped.

"My siblings calld me brother! My girlfriend called me Anonymous! From this instant, Equestria will call me..."

"Nox."

>He pulls a lever.

 

-Anon's POV-

>You see the energy crackle and arc from Twilight to your beautiful machine.

>It's a shame it had to end like this, but you were going to go home!

>And the beauty about time paradoxes, is once you wind back time, it'll be as though Twilight was never harmed before!

>It's the perfect plan.

>You look at the clock.

>It's...

>It's not charging.

>Time is not spinning backwards.

>Huh?

>Your eyes start to mist over slightly.

>You're...

>You're in your workshop.

>Oh god.

>Ohgodohgodohgod.

>You look around, wild-eyed.

>When was the last time you slept?

>And... you knocked Twilight out, and attempted to drain her... wakfu?

>Oh nononononono.

"Twilight, oh my god, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

>You run over to the table, and start undoing the clasps that hold her down.

>Why the fuck are you wearing a mummy costume anyway?

>You try to wipe the mistyness from your eyes.

>Twilight Sparkle looks at you cautiously, as you remove the plunger from her head.

>What the FUCK were you thinking?

>She jumps off from the table where you held her, and slowly backs away from you.

>"Anon?"

>You collapse to your knees.

"I'm- I'm sorry!"

>She moves a little closer to you, and touches you with her hoof.

>"You really want to go back home, don't you?"

>You try to respond, but you feel like you're choking.

" 's."

>She approaches you, and hugs you delicately.

>"Oh Anon."

>She sounds so sad.

>And concerned.

>"We'll help you. We promise. But..."

>She bites her lower lip and touches her horn to your forehead.

>You feel weak and like you're shaking.

 

-Twilight's POV-

>He's on his knees, sobbing for all it's worth.

>Your heart breaks just looking at him.

>He's been cut off from everypony he knew.

>And he is right.

>We weren't able to help him.

>"Anon? It would probably help if you talked to us ponies, you know. You don't need to be a recluse."

>He looks up at you, and lifts the mask from his eyes.

>"Just... talk to me, okay? What was your girlfriend like?"

>He looks at you while his mouth moves, unable to make more than a choked wheezing/sobbing sound.

>You hug him.

 

-Anon's POV-

>Twilight is hugging you.

>So you hug back, clinging on to her as though you were drowning.

>Words start to spill from you, as you start talking about her.

>About everything.

>Maybe...

>Maybe everything will be just fine.