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(Late) Shiggy Saturday #4

By: Shiggler on Aug 11th, 2013 | syntax: None | size: 5.08 KB | hits: 28 | expires: Never

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>Nightmare Night is your favourite time of the year, and it's almost upon P0nyville again!
>Ugh...
>Even thinking of that confounding name makes your skin crawl.
>No, for once you aren't Anon.
>You are Thor, Viking God of Thunder.
>And this year has been going terribly.
>Ever since your accident with that infernal scum, you have become a pariah.
>No longer have you been allowed outside in P0nyville without being hoarded by everyone.
>It has been months since you have left the house.
>If you were to bash a certain yellow pegasus once more with your trusted hammer, then you would be crushed by the two Princesses who rule here.
>Mjölnir hasn't been used in ages.
>But it is the eve of Nightmare Night, and soon you will be able to walk the streets again!
>Which is why you must now go to bed.
>In the morning, you see a small letter on your doormat.
>Open it.
>”Thor, your presence has been requested at the Canterlot Chambers. Please hurry, it is urgent.”
>Hmm.
>Picking up your hammer, you fly far above the Pegasi of this town, ensuring they shan't see you.
>The journey takes almost no time at all.
>You crash through the roof of the place.
“I apologize for my less-than-subtle entry. But thou did say it was urgent after all.”
>The princess looks to you with a face that says “what the fucking fuck”.
>”That's... fine... But, as of standard procedures, weapons are no longer permitted in the Grand Hall. You'll have to give Mjölnir to one of the guards.”
>Clutching the hammer, you whimper slightly and stroke it.
“We'll meet again.”
>Give it to the guards.
“What is it?”
>”I'm sorry Thor, but we have to take action.”
“What sort of action?”
>The princess looks at the ground solemnly.
>”We have to banish you from Equestria.”
>No.
“No. Where does thou plan to send me?”
>”The Everfree.”
“Ha! That is hardly banishment. I could have an army of the creatures in there!”
>Suddenly, from 6 corners of the room, the Elements of Harmony and their wielders appear.
>This cannot be.
>”You've been causing trouble in P0nyville for far too long, Thor.”
>”Y-you almost killed me!”
>”There's NO WAY you're staying in P0nyville. Not cool.”
>”Ahm sorry pardner, but y'all are just too much worry for us.”
>”Well, I wanted to have a leaving party for you but the princess wouldn't allow it!”
>”This is THE- WORST- POSSIBLE- THING! For you that is.”
>You stare at them all.
“This isn't over. Thou shall know my revenge.”
>Before the princess can sway you into obeying her, you break the ceiling and fly to the Everfree.
>You finally come to rest at the statue of Nightmare Moon, a being who you hold in high regard.
>Remembering that old poem, you recite it to yourself.
>”Hey!”
>What is this?
“Who dares to interrupt the recital of Nightmare Night?!”
>A mulberry-maned p0ny walks out from behind a bush.
>”Ged oudda here! This is MY spot! I been here mujj longer'n you!”
>Your patience is wearing thin.
“I am paying tribute to the one being in this place who could possibly challenge me! If thou wishes to face my wrath then thou would be making a fatal mistake!”
>The plum-coloured p0ny appears inebriated.
>”If ya dun' ged oud, then yer gunna hafta deal... with ME!”
>She attempts a seductive wink, falling over in the process.
>Ignoring the foolish drunkard, you continue your recital.
“So if she comes and all is clear-”
>SMASH
>”Yohr gunna have fun wi-me!”
>The scent of whiskey plays upon your nose.
“Thou wishes to challenge me? Then thou may beg for mercy.”
>Picking up...
>Wait.
>You forgot to get Mjölnir!
>You're practically powerless without it!
>The drunken one grabs another bottle and throws it at you, hitting you square in the face.
>She laughs, then literally doubles over.
>”Now izz time fer fun.”
>She gets up from the floor and leaps towards you.
>”Yer lookin' fine today, monkey-boy.”
>This is not going to happen.
“Get away from me, you foul creature!”
>Your only hope is the huge stack of whiskey bottles nearby.
>...They're all empty. And that doesn't surprise you somehow.
>There must be at least 200 of them.
>Grab one from the pile and charge at the fiend!
>It collides with her face, throwing her across the clearing.
>”Ya fuchin cunt!”
>It's the middle of the afternoon, but it's somehow just gotten dark.
>A crack of thunder sounds overhead, and a strange figure descends from the clouds.
>”Thor, maghtie gawd of thundurr...”
>Wait...
>The plum p0ny ceases her attempts to rut you.
>”Take this here hat... For it will come in maghtie useful...”
>Who is that?
>A stetson drops from the dark characters place in the clouds.
>Applejack?
>”Oh fuchen hell... Is tha' wuddah think it is?!”
>You put on the fancy hat but are instantly bitched out.
>”NO GIMME THA' FUCHEN HAT!”
>She leaps on top of you with such ferocity that if her target were not the hat, your head may have come clean off.
>As you pick yourself up from the ground, you see the p0ny...
>Dicking the hat.
>Nightmare Night will have to be cancelled for you this year.

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>Nightmare Night is your favourite time of the year, and it's almost upon P0nyville again!
>Ugh...
>Even thinking of that confounding name makes your skin crawl.
>No, for once you aren't Anon.
>You are Thor, Viking God of Thunder.
>And this year has been going terribly.
>Ever since your accident with that infernal scum, you have become a pariah.
>No longer have you been allowed outside in P0nyville without being hoarded by everyone.
>It has been months since you have left the house.
>If you were to bash a certain yellow pegasus once more with your trusted hammer, then you would be crushed by the two Princesses who rule here.
>Mjölnir hasn't been used in ages.
>But it is the eve of Nightmare Night, and soon you will be able to walk the streets again!
>Which is why you must now go to bed.

>In the morning, you see a small letter on your doormat.
>Open it.
>”Thor, your presence has been requested at the Canterlot Chambers. Please hurry, it is urgent.”
>Hmm.
>Picking up your hammer, you fly far above the Pegasi of this town, ensuring they shan't see you.
>The journey takes almost no time at all.
>You crash through the roof of the place.
“I apologize for my less-than-subtle entry. But thou did say it was urgent after all.”
>The princess looks to you with a face that says “what the fucking fuck”.
>”That's... fine... But, as of standard procedures, weapons are no longer permitted in the Grand Hall. You'll have to give Mjölnir to one of the guards.”
>Clutching the hammer, you whimper slightly and stroke it.
“We'll meet again.”
>Give it to the guards.
“What is it?”
>”I'm sorry Thor, but we have to take action.”
“What sort of action?”
>The princess looks at the ground solemnly.
>”We have to banish you from Equestria.”
>No.
“No. Where does thou plan to send me?”
>”The Everfree.”
“Ha! That is hardly banishment. I could have an army of the creatures in there!”
>Suddenly, from 6 corners of the room, the Elements of Harmony and their wielders appear.
>This cannot be.
>”You've been causing trouble in P0nyville for far too long, Thor.”
>”Y-you almost killed me!”
>”There's NO WAY you're staying in P0nyville. Not cool.”
>”Ahm sorry pardner, but y'all are just too much worry for us.”
>”Well, I wanted to have a leaving party for you but the princess wouldn't allow it!”
>”This is THE- WORST- POSSIBLE- THING! For you that is.”
>You stare at them all.
“This isn't over. Thou shall know my revenge.”
>Before the princess can sway you into obeying her, you break the ceiling and fly to the Everfree.

>You finally come to rest at the statue of Nightmare Moon, a being who you hold in high regard.
>Remembering that old poem, you recite it to yourself.
>”Hey!”
>What is this?
“Who dares to interrupt the recital of Nightmare Night?!”
>A mulberry-maned p0ny walks out from behind a bush.
>”Ged oudda here! This is MY spot! I been here mujj longer'n you!”
>Your patience is wearing thin.
“I am paying tribute to the one being in this place who could possibly challenge me! If thou wishes to face my wrath then thou would be making a fatal mistake!”
>The plum-coloured p0ny appears inebriated.
>”If ya dun' ged oud, then yer gunna hafta deal... with ME!”
>She attempts a seductive wink, falling over in the process.
>Ignoring the foolish drunkard, you continue your recital.
“So if she comes and all is clear-”
>SMASH
>”Yohr gunna have fun wi-me!”
>The scent of whiskey plays upon your nose.
“Thou wishes to challenge me? Then thou may beg for mercy.”
>Picking up...
>Wait.
>You forgot to get Mjölnir!
>You're practically powerless without it!
>The drunken one grabs another bottle and throws it at you, hitting you square in the face.
>She laughs, then literally doubles over.
>”Now izz time fer fun.”
>She gets up from the floor and leaps towards you.
>”Yer lookin' fine today, monkey-boy.”
>This is not going to happen.
“Get away from me, you foul creature!”
>Your only hope is the huge stack of whiskey bottles nearby.
>...They're all empty. And that doesn't surprise you somehow.
>There must be at least 200 of them.
>Grab one from the pile and charge at the fiend!
>It collides with her face, throwing her across the clearing.
>”Ya fuchin cunt!”
>It's the middle of the afternoon, but it's somehow just gotten dark.
>A crack of thunder sounds overhead, and a strange figure descends from the clouds.
>”Thor, maghtie gawd of thundurr...”
>Wait...
>The plum p0ny ceases her attempts to rut you.
>”Take this here hat... For it will come in maghtie useful...”
>Who is that?
>A stetson drops from the dark characters place in the clouds.
>Applejack?
>”Oh fuchen hell... Is tha' wuddah think it is?!”
>You put on the fancy hat but are instantly bitched out.
>”NO GIMME THA' FUCHEN HAT!”
>She leaps on top of you with such ferocity that if her target were not the hat, your head may have come clean off.
>As you pick yourself up from the ground, you see the p0ny...
>Dicking the hat.
>Nightmare Night will have to be cancelled for you this year.

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