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Idea #1 - Lasagna

By: Shiggler on Jul 12th, 2013 | syntax: None | size: 9.14 KB | hits: 35 | expires: Never

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>With a heavy groan, you rise out of your slumber
>Last night is a blur, too much drinking
>Amongst... other substances
>You are Anon, sole human in Equestria, and last night you did some things you weren't proud of.
>From what you can remember, at least
>And that means... worse could've happened.
>Your face scrunches up at the thought
>Pissmute was at that party, but thankfully she wasn't next to you in bed
>That was reassurance enough.
>But there were some sketchy details that you couldn't quite make out.
>Knocking your head back into gear, you try to recall who was all there
>The usual 6 suspects were joined by your borderline nymphomaniacal on-off partner Flitter, Lyra, Derpy plus others who you didn't know.
>Come to think of it, you were the only male there...
>Oh well, surely that didn't matter.
>Flitter would have fought off those crazy mares for days if need be, as far as she was concerned you belonged to her.
>Now... what happened that night?
>The only things you can remember with clarity is attempting a striptease on top of a mailbox and falling, Fluttershy trash-talking everyone and Flitter drunkenly telling you that she was gonna crash at Lyra's.
>You gotta know what happened last night.
>So Lyra's home seemed the best place to start.
>With difficulty, you raise yourself from bed and get dressed
>Standing seemed to be a bit more difficult than normal.
>Are you STILL drunk?!
>No matter, you have to know all of what happened last night.
>One foot in front of the other, that's how you walk...
>Your stomach baulks at sudden movement.
“Urgh... Just gotta keep going.”
>Looking down the stairs, your head dizzies.
>Well, one small step for man...
>The clacking of your shoes against the wooden boards rings loud in your ears.
>It doesn't help your dizziness.
>Holding onto the banister for dear life, you make it downstairs.
>Phew.
>Finally, you've reached the front door, and the real test begins.
>Crossing the town square in P0nyville, you nervously check around you, making sure no-one is watching you.
>After all, who knew who else was there?
>Who saw your dirty escapades?
>Keeping your head low, or as low as possible, you walk sluggishly towards the mint-coloured p0ny's abode.
>Knock on the door.
>You hear Bon Bon shouting for someone to open the door.
>Lyra is in front of you, surprised at your appearance.
>”Oh, hey Anon. Your succubus anticipated your arrival.”
>Well then.
“Charming as always, Lyra. I need to talk to her. About what happened last night.”
>”I think she was just getting ready to leave, but whatever.”
>Flitter marches down the stairs confidently.
“So you're not as bad as I am then?”
>She winks at you.
>”Heh. Maybe not AS bad...”
>That doesn't sound good...
“Are you heading home?”
>”Yeah, Cloudchaser needed my help with something today. But the gentlecolt will walk his marefriend home, right?”
>You sigh with a smile, putting on your best posh accent.
“But of course, milady.”
>Lyra shouts from the living room.
>”When did Rarity get in here?”
>Flitter laughs.
>”Shall we go then?”
>Nodding, you both leave the house.
>Despite being hungover, your marefriend looked amazing.
“You look good today.”
>”I know.”
>She never had been one for cheesy romantics. You rarely held hand-and-hoof anywhere.
>You didn't have much time to ask about your antics from last night though, so you wasted no time in getting to it.
“So, about last night...”
>”Yeah?”
“Did anything happen?”
>She looks confused.
>”Like... Bad things? What do you remember?”
“No, just anything. Well... I remember trying to er, put on a show if you will, on top of a mailbox. Fluttershy was being loud-mouthed for a change, and before I left, you told me you were crashing at Lyra's. That's it.”
>She smirks, and looks to the ground.
>”Well... that's not all that happened.”
>She seductively bats her eyelids.
“Hmm?”
>”Well, things got a bit hot and heavy behind Rarity's place.”
>You raise an eyebrow.
“What kind of things?”
>”I'll let you think about that long and hard.”
>fuckyeah.gif
>But that didn't explain much else.
“Besides that, what else?”
>”You disappeared along with Twilight, Flutters and Derpy for a while. Can't remember if you were all together or not. I think you also managed to puke on one of Fluttershy's pets. She was... displeased with that.”
>Heh.
>Maybe she'd stop harassing you now.
“Damn. We really took that party all over town.”
>She grins.
>”Yep. Best yet. And it wasn't even one of Pinkie's.”
>For the next 5 minutes or so she tells you how much of a lightweight Twilight is.
>Like you didn't know that already.
>Eventually you reach her home.
>She asks you the time.
>1:15pm.
>”Huh, looks like I got an hour free. You wanna come in?”
“I got nothing else going on, sure.”
>You feel like there's still something missing...
>Flitter's face is suddenly in yours.
>”Come on. I got a... surprise for you.”
>Pecking your lips, she grabs your hand and drags you up the stairs.
>A bit of an effort, being slightly tipsy still.
>”Wait here.”
>She enters her room, shutting the door behind her.
>When she returns, dangling from her legs is a
>Huge
>Veiny
>Strap-on
>...Whoa.
>”Get in here, you little slut.”
>Obeying, she rips off your shirt.
>Her tongue slips into your mouth, intertwining, swishing around.
>In one swift motion, she pushes you on the bed and leaps on top of you.
>Her hoof slowly makes it's way down towards your nether regions.
>Wait... something's not right.
>She reaches down in your underwear...
>And she retracts from you.
>”What the fuck?!”
>You look up, to see a horrific sight.
>Your dick...
>It's gone!
>Shaft, balls and all, everything is gone!
>You're as flat as a fucking Ken doll down there!
>How the fuck could this have happened?!
>The only other p0ny who had even seen your cock was that nefarious...
>Fluttershy.
>It HAD to have been her.
>”What the fuck is going on, Anon?!”
“I... I dunno.”
>”Somep0ny better explain this or shit is gonna get screwed up!”
“You know h-how you said I disappeared for a bit?”
>”Yes! Yes I do!”
“I-I think Fluttershy might have it.”
>Her bloodshot, enraged eyes meet yours.
>”That bitch is dead.”
>Tossing the strap-on, she flies out the window with a whoosh of air.
>Pulling your clothes back on hurriedly, you dash out the door.
>Running was something you were actually good at.
>But in between Flitter's home to Fluttershy's is a whole town.
>Needless to say, you were out of breath by the time you got there.
>Bursting in the door less than dramatically, you see Flitter pinning Flutter against the wall.
>FS “A-anon what is going on?!”
“Flursha... Whafuh... Dihyado... Withmydih...?”
>”Uh... English?”
>Taking in a huge breath of air, you try again.
“What the fuck did you do with my dick?!”
>”W-what?!”
>Flitter looks at her.
>”Why do you think I've been screaming at you for the past 10 minutes?!”
>”Um... I don't know. I couldn't make out what you were s-saying.”
>Flitter puts a hoof to her forehead and rubs it in anger.
“Fluttershy. My dick. It's fucking gone!”
>Her eyes shrink, her mane deflates and she looks at the ground.
>”What...”
>She looks as though she's about to burst into tears.
“Why did you take it?!”
>”B-b-but... But I didn't...”
>She begins to weep loudly.
>Flitter turns to you, a look of confusion painted on her face.
>You shrug your shoulders.
>”Well, if you didn't take it then who did?!”
>She barely manages to blubber out a sentence.
>”M-m-m-maybe it was Tw-tw-twilight?”
>A shocking realization hits you.
>That's why there's just... nothing.
“Flitter, we have to go.”
>She nods at you.
>Fluttershy lies on the ground, still bawling away like a baby.
>Flitter trots out, grumbling to herself.
>”Grab onto my waist.”
>She flies over the town, then sees Twilight's library.
>You both zoom down, furious at this whole ordeal.
>Not even bothering to knock, Flitter kicks down the door and growls.
>”WHERE IS SHE.”
>Spike pops his head out nervously, pointing towards a room.
>”Uh, she's in the-”
>CRASH
>”-study...”
>You thump past Spike, past caring what anyone thinks.
>Your vision is turning red, your jugular is thumping and you could punch even the most powerful Manticore to death.
“TWIIILIIIGHT!”
>Walking through to the study, you see Flitter attempting to hit Sparkle, but she has her bound in her magic.
“What the FUCK did you do to me?!”
>She turns to you, shocked to see you.
>And somehow, she manages to sputter out an unconvincing lie.
>”Uh, what happened to you, Anon? Nop0ny here could've done it... right? Right?”
>She puts on a nervous smile.
“Where. Is. It.”
>”Umm... Maybe if I ju-”
>Another crash, this time from the front door. You hear Spike's voice.
>”Derpy, how many times do I have to-”
>Suddenly, the mailmare is in the room.
>With a tray of muffins.
>And in one of the muffins, hangs...
>”DERPY. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!”
>Your dick.
>She looks down at the dickmuffin, horrified.
>”I-I just don't know what went wrong...”

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>With a heavy groan, you rise out of your slumber
>Last night is a blur, too much drinking
>Amongst... other substances
>You are Anon, sole human in Equestria, and last night you did some things you weren't proud of.
>From what you can remember, at least
>And that means... worse could've happened.
>Your face scrunches up at the thought
>Pissmute was at that party, but thankfully she wasn't next to you in bed
>That was reassurance enough.
>But there were some sketchy details that you couldn't quite make out.
>Knocking your head back into gear, you try to recall who was all there
>The usual 6 suspects were joined by your borderline nymphomaniacal on-off partner Flitter, Lyra, Derpy plus others who you didn't know.
>Come to think of it, you were the only male there...
>Oh well, surely that didn't matter. 
>Flitter would have fought off those crazy mares for days if need be, as far as she was concerned you belonged to her.
>Now... what happened that night?
>The only things you can remember with clarity is attempting a striptease on top of a mailbox and falling, Fluttershy trash-talking everyone and Flitter drunkenly telling you that she was gonna crash at Lyra's.
>You gotta know what happened last night.
>So Lyra's home seemed the best place to start.
>With difficulty, you raise yourself from bed and get dressed

>Standing seemed to be a bit more difficult than normal.
>Are you STILL drunk?!
>No matter, you have to know all of what happened last night.
>One foot in front of the other, that's how you walk...
>Your stomach baulks at sudden movement.
“Urgh... Just gotta keep going.”
>Looking down the stairs, your head dizzies.
>Well, one small step for man...
>The clacking of your shoes against the wooden boards rings loud in your ears.
>It doesn't help your dizziness.
>Holding onto the banister for dear life, you make it downstairs.
>Phew.
>Finally, you've reached the front door, and the real test begins.

>Crossing the town square in P0nyville, you nervously check around you, making sure no-one is watching you.
>After all, who knew who else was there?
>Who saw your dirty escapades?
>Keeping your head low, or as low as possible, you walk sluggishly towards the mint-coloured p0ny's abode.
>Knock on the door.
>You hear Bon Bon shouting for someone to open the door.
>Lyra is in front of you, surprised at your appearance.
>”Oh, hey Anon. Your succubus anticipated your arrival.”
>Well then.
“Charming as always, Lyra. I need to talk to her. About what happened last night.”
>”I think she was just getting ready to leave, but whatever.”
>Flitter marches down the stairs confidently.
“So you're not as bad as I am then?”
>She winks at you.
>”Heh. Maybe not AS bad...”
>That doesn't sound good...
“Are you heading home?”
>”Yeah, Cloudchaser needed my help with something today. But the gentlecolt will walk his marefriend home, right?”
>You sigh with a smile, putting on your best posh accent.
“But of course, milady.”
>Lyra shouts from the living room.
>”When did Rarity get in here?”
>Flitter laughs.
>”Shall we go then?”
>Nodding, you both leave the house.

>Despite being hungover, your marefriend looked amazing.
“You look good today.”
>”I know.”
>She never had been one for cheesy romantics. You rarely held hand-and-hoof anywhere.
>You didn't have much time to ask about your antics from last night though, so you wasted no time in getting to it.
“So, about last night...”
>”Yeah?”
“Did anything happen?”
>She looks confused.
>”Like... Bad things? What do you remember?”
“No, just anything. Well... I remember trying to er, put on a show if you will, on top of a mailbox. Fluttershy was being loud-mouthed for a change, and before I left, you told me you were crashing at Lyra's. That's it.”
>She smirks, and looks to the ground.
>”Well... that's not all that happened.”
>She seductively bats her eyelids.
“Hmm?”
>”Well, things got a bit hot and heavy behind Rarity's place.”
>You raise an eyebrow.
“What kind of things?”
>”I'll let you think about that long and hard.”
>fuckyeah.gif
>But that didn't explain much else.
“Besides that, what else?”
>”You disappeared along with Twilight, Flutters and Derpy for a while. Can't remember if you were all together or not. I think you also managed to puke on one of Fluttershy's pets. She was... displeased with that.”
>Heh.
>Maybe she'd stop harassing you now.
“Damn. We really took that party all over town.”
>She grins.
>”Yep. Best yet. And it wasn't even one of Pinkie's.”
>For the next 5 minutes or so she tells you how much of a lightweight Twilight is.
>Like you didn't know that already.
>Eventually you reach her home.
>She asks you the time.
>1:15pm.
>”Huh, looks like I got an hour free. You wanna come in?”
“I got nothing else going on, sure.”
>You feel like there's still something missing...
>Flitter's face is suddenly in yours.
>”Come on. I got a... surprise for you.”
>Pecking your lips, she grabs your hand and drags you up the stairs.
>A bit of an effort, being slightly tipsy still.
>”Wait here.”
>She enters her room, shutting the door behind her.
>When she returns, dangling from her legs is a
>Huge
>Veiny
>Strap-on
>...Whoa.
>”Get in here, you little slut.”
>Obeying, she rips off your shirt.
>Her tongue slips into your mouth, intertwining, swishing around.
>In one swift motion, she pushes you on the bed and leaps on top of you.
>Her hoof slowly makes it's way down towards your nether regions.
>Wait... something's not right.
>She reaches down in your underwear...
>And she retracts from you.
>”What the fuck?!”
>You look up, to see a horrific sight.
>Your dick...
>It's gone!
>Shaft, balls and all, everything is gone!
>You're as flat as a fucking Ken doll down there!
>How the fuck could this have happened?!
>The only other p0ny who had even seen your cock was that nefarious...
>Fluttershy.
>It HAD to have been her.
>”What the fuck is going on, Anon?!”
“I... I dunno.”
>”Somep0ny better explain this or shit is gonna get screwed up!”
“You know h-how you said I disappeared for a bit?”
>”Yes! Yes I do!”
“I-I think Fluttershy might have it.”
>Her bloodshot, enraged eyes meet yours.
>”That bitch is dead.”
>Tossing the strap-on, she flies out the window with a whoosh of air.
>Pulling your clothes back on hurriedly, you dash out the door.

>Running was something you were actually good at.
>But in between Flitter's home to Fluttershy's is a whole town.
>Needless to say, you were out of breath by the time you got there.
>Bursting in the door less than dramatically, you see Flitter pinning Flutter against the wall.
>FS “A-anon what is going on?!”
“Flursha... Whafuh... Dihyado... Withmydih...?”
>”Uh... English?”
>Taking in a huge breath of air, you try again.
“What the fuck did you do with my dick?!”
>”W-what?!”
>Flitter looks at her.
>”Why do you think I've been screaming at you for the past 10 minutes?!”
>”Um... I don't know. I couldn't make out what you were s-saying.”
>Flitter puts a hoof to her forehead and rubs it in anger.
“Fluttershy. My dick. It's fucking gone!”
>Her eyes shrink, her mane deflates and she looks at the ground.
>”What...”
>She looks as though she's about to burst into tears.
“Why did you take it?!”
>”B-b-but... But I didn't...”
>She begins to weep loudly.
>Flitter turns to you, a look of confusion painted on her face.
>You shrug your shoulders.
>”Well, if you didn't take it then who did?!”
>She barely manages to blubber out a sentence.
>”M-m-m-maybe it was Tw-tw-twilight?”
>A shocking realization hits you.
>That's why there's just... nothing.
“Flitter, we have to go.”
>She nods at you.
>Fluttershy lies on the ground, still bawling away like a baby.
>Flitter trots out, grumbling to herself.
>”Grab onto my waist.”
>She flies over the town, then sees Twilight's library.
>You both zoom down, furious at this whole ordeal.
>Not even bothering to knock, Flitter kicks down the door and growls.
>”WHERE IS SHE.”
>Spike pops his head out nervously, pointing towards a room.
>”Uh, she's in the-”
>CRASH
>”-study...”
>You thump past Spike, past caring what anyone thinks.
>Your vision is turning red, your jugular is thumping and you could punch even the most powerful Manticore to death.

“TWIIILIIIGHT!”
>Walking through to the study, you see Flitter attempting to hit Sparkle, but she has her bound in her magic.
“What the FUCK did you do to me?!”
>She turns to you, shocked to see you.
>And somehow, she manages to sputter out an unconvincing lie.
>”Uh, what happened to you, Anon? Nop0ny here could've done it... right? Right?”
>She puts on a nervous smile.
“Where. Is. It.”
>”Umm... Maybe if I ju-”
>Another crash, this time from the front door. You hear Spike's voice.
>”Derpy, how many times do I have to-”
>Suddenly, the mailmare is in the room.
>With a tray of muffins.
>And in one of the muffins, hangs...
>”DERPY. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!”
>Your dick.
>She looks down at the dickmuffin, horrified.
>”I-I just don't know what went wrong...”

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