- >Day Hearth's Warming Eve
- >You're Anon, and it's Christmas Eve!
- >Sitting in your boxers eating some cereal, you excitedly await the bells to ring at midnight.
- >Of course though, this is Equestria.
- >And of course, there are ponies here.
- >A knock makes a din.
- >Open your door.
- “Yes?”
- >“Happy Hearth's Warming Eve, Anon!”
- >...
- >Oh god.
- >The sight in front of you is...
- >Crazy.
- >There stands Rainbow Dash, all wrapped in Christmas attire.
- >Her legs are caked in wrapping paper.
- >She dons a Santa hat.
- >And her athletic body is in a less-than-modest Santa dress.
- >Every fucking year, another one of the ponies tries to win your affections.
- >Why on this day?
- >You don't know.
- “It's fucking Christmas Dash, not Heart's Worming Pet Peeve or whatever the hell you call it.”
- >Immediately, she plants her hooves down, once again becoming a quadruped.
- >“Anon, you need to [spoiler]love and tolerate[/spoiler] our traditions more.”
- >Her face turns sultry.
- >Oh fuck.
- >From behind her, she pulls a candy cane.
- >But this isn't any candy cane.
- >Oh no, this is the CandyFuck 6000, purchased from that weird store in Canterlot.
- >The end of it has a fucking enormous dragon dildo on it.
- >The worst part is that it's fucking edible.
- >An edible dildo!
- >“Now... what day is it tomorrow?”
- >Your pride takes hold of you, making you colossally fuck up.
- “It's fucking Christmas, you Rainbow cunt.”
- >Her once-sexy face turns sour.
- >She snaps the thing in two.
- >You've really fucked up now!
- >“Wrong answer!”
- >She takes a steady aim towards your mouth, and flaps her wings intensely.
- >You cover it and begin to run like a fucking Kenyan.
- >“Come back, you little fuck!”
- >Slam a door on her face.
- >You can't help but laugh at the thud it makes.
- >Then she bursts through it, her face covered in wooden shards.
- >Stopping for breath was a bad move.
- >Inside the kitchen, she attempts to lunge at you.
- >She ends up tossing herself inside some pans.
- >She instantaneously recovers as you hear sleigh bells passing above you.
- “Fuc- Dash, can this wait?! You need to be in bed or else Santa won't bring you any presents!”
- >She looks at you like you've went insane.
- >“Santa? You mean the Present Pony?”
- >You facepalm.
- >Everything here is literally so shit.
- “Whatever, get in bed, quickly!”
- >Once more, she drops them bedroom eyes.
- >“Does this mean I can get into /your/ bed An-”
- >Panicking, you make another crucial mistake.
- “Yes, yes, whatever! Santa just needs to bring us presents! Hurry up!”
- >Rainbow nods, then without warning-
- >You're both in your bed in a flash.
- >“What are we gonna do in the bed, Anon?”
- >Why did you say she could get in?
- >She gazes at you with wanton eyes.
- >Then brings out the CandyFuck 6000.
- >Bumps her eyebrows up and down.
- >“Heeeey Anon.”
- “What.”
- >She looks at it, then back to you.
- >You're not taking it.
- “No. Fuck off. You're only getting coal in your stocking.”
- >“I want your coal in /my/ stocking~”
- >Why do you keep saying the wrong thing?
- >Sleigh bells smash into the top of your house.
- >Quietly as possible, you whisper to Dash.
- “SHH! It's Santa!”
- >With that, she starts to moan.
- >The grotty smell of musk hits your nose powerfully.
- “Gross.”
- >With that, Santa pops in through your bedroom window.
- >“I see you when you're sleeping, I know when you're awake, I know if you've been bad or good, and both of you are terrible!”
- >He slings his bag to the ground, and takes out a lump of-
- >Shrapnel?!
- >“Hohoho, Merry Christmas!”
- >A flash of white light.
- >You're Anon, and you're dead.
- >On the night before Christmas.
- >Could be worse though.
- >Could've spent Christmas
- >Fucking Rainbow Dash.
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