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Bizarro (Flutterrape)

By: Shiggler on Mar 25th, 2014  |  syntax: None  |  size: 8.77 KB  |  hits: 58  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Day Bizarro
  2. >Looming overhead is a red sky, mixed in with green clouds.
  3. >Outside, the birds are not chirping.
  4. >They are growling.
  5. >And they have molars.
  6. >Why do they have molars.
  7. >That's fuckin' terrifying.
  8. >SunflowerSheepish is “singing” to them.
  9. >And behind her are the Ponytones but, instead of a soothing melody...
  10. >Blast beats.
  11. >“CRUSH CUNTS WITH OUR TEEEEEEETH”
  12. >Sweeping guitars.
  13. >“PONIES, WE FEAST ON MEAAAAAT”
  14. >Ah yes, day brutal death metal in Equestria.
  15. >For too long you had wondered what was with Fluttershy, well, of course you did. She has tried to molest you on several occasions.
  16. >But you never expected this... bizarreness to occur.
  17. >The fucking trees grow leaves first now.
  18. >A flash of light and a popping sound approaches your senses.
  19. >“Oh, it's just wonderful! Truly marvelous!”
  20. >Indeed, this was the doing of Dickswo- Discord.
  21. >Of course it was.
  22. “So, what caused you to do this?”
  23. >The amalgamation of creatures abrasively twists towards you, appalled at your assumption.
  24. >“Me? What ever caused you to think /that/?”
  25. >You fold your arms.
  26. “Well, it's not like you haven't accidentally trapped the Princesses in a fucking tree or caused candy floss clouds to rain chocolate milk. Of course not.”
  27. >His suddenly-elongated eyelashes flutter at you innocently.
  28. >“Anon, I honestly had nothing to do with this. I wouldn't dare interfere with those birds' dental situations, that's unsanitary.”
  29. >Clean freak.
  30. “So, who was it?”
  31. >A shrug.
  32. >Great.
  33. “Well, I'd best get on with the day then. I still have work to go to.”
  34. >“Oh, I wouldn't bother if I were you.”
  35. >You stop in your tracks.
  36. >Raise an eyebrow at the draconequus.
  37. >“I saw Pinko Pang or whatever her name is throwing sticks at a young dragon with a gryphon. Is she new in town?”
  38. >Well, no work for you then.
  39. “I... I don't think so.”
  40. >Discord smiles.
  41. >“Excellent. Obviously, Sugarcube Corner is, as of now, closed until further notice. Enjoy your day off!”
  42. >With a puff of smoke, Discord leaves you in your hall, pondering what the fuck is going on.
  43.  
  44. >You take a step outside, figuring there's nothing else better to do but go and see Applejack.
  45. >If anyone knew what was going on it would be Hat Horse.
  46. >Fluttershy stands at your door.
  47. >You expect the worst, but,
  48. >“GOOD MORNING!”
  49. >She yells at you, but with a smile on her face.
  50. >Your legs baulk slightly.
  51. >Fearing the worst, you get ready to goddamn peg it.
  52. >She then leaps upon you, and tries to-
  53. >Cuddle with you.
  54. >Crawling away from Jaundiced Low Volume, you wonder why she wasn't forcing her gross halitosis tongue down your throat.
  55. >“But I wanted a hug!”
  56. >The rest of the Ponytones turn to you and start to glare.
  57. >One of them starts to open their mouth slowly.
  58. >Fuuuuuck that noise!
  59. >Covering your ears you fuckin' bolt in any direction that isn't where they are.
  60. >Wails of metal violate your eardrums.
  61. >So now it's just audible harassment, not sexual.
  62. >The terrible screams from the assortment of pones causes you to call for help.
  63. “APPLEJAAACK!”
  64. >From a street corner, the orange pony pops out.
  65. >No
  66. >Fucking
  67. >Hat
  68. “WHAT IN THE EVER-LIVING FUCK IS GOING ON!”
  69. >The gryphon Discord mentioned earlier laughs at you, and throws a stick off your unsuspecting head.
  70. “FUUUUCK YOU AAAAALL, WHERE'S THE PRETTY PURPLE PRINCESS”
  71. >Your fatigued legs are ready to just fall off your torso and keep going by themselves to an owner that wouldn't only use them in dire situations like this.
  72. >Many mares and stallions turn to you and begin chasing you, tongues out the side as if they're dogs.
  73. >“Where ya goin'?!”
  74. >“Who ya visitin'?!”
  75. >“Is there gonna be a surprise?!”
  76. >And all at once now,
  77. >“SURPRIIIISE!”
  78. >If your ears weren't dead before, you're going to need 3 hearing aids for each now.
  79. “GET AWAY FROM ME!”
  80. >Sliding around the corner you spot the treehouse.
  81. >Finally!
  82. >You hoof it to the door and slam it with a crash behind you.
  83. “Twilight! Do something!!”
  84. >She's sitting there, with papers in magic-hand.
  85. >Whispering to herself, you make out some jargon.
  86. >“If I reverse the matrices of 1-5-6, then I can trace the logistic scan back to...”
  87. “Hello?! I exist, you know!”
  88. >“And then I can carry the error and still get a solution for the mystic charge...”
  89. >You stomp your foot on the ground.
  90. >“So that I can- ANON! Hello!”
  91. >She seems excited to see you.
  92. >Then she hurls you into a bookshelf.
  93. >...Your nose hurts.
  94. >“Get me a book on M-theory, stat!”
  95. >Ponies can't into physics.
  96. >Things are REAL fucked now.
  97. >Slapping your hands between books rapidly, you see the first big M and just fuckin' lob the thing at her.
  98. >“Gre- OOF”
  99. “Where's Spike? Doesn't he do this sort of stu- Oh yeah, he's getting pummeled by wood.”
  100. >She tilts her head in a “what the fuck” sort of manner, raises a hoof but then stops.
  101. >Twilight doesn't dare question these things anymore.
  102. >She will question you though.
  103. >“What issues have you been experiencing though?”
  104. “Oh, well, Discord came to my house, Fluttershy only wanted cuddles instead of cock, the Ponytones growled at me, a gryphon threw a stick at me, and dog-pones followed me here. Oh, and as if that wasn't enough, Applejack wasn't wearing her hat.”
  105. >She asks you to repeat one.
  106. >You know which one.
  107. “Applejack wasn't wearing her hat.”
  108. >“No, not that. Second one.”
  109. >...
  110. “Fluttershy only wanted cuddles. Not cock.”
  111. >She scratches her head.
  112. >“Even with all the other stuff, don't you /want/ her to curb her enthusiasm for the human... anatomy?”
  113. >Inside, you wonder.
  114. >Is all this worth it for Fluttershy to stop trying to rape you?
  115. >You don't let on though.
  116. “That doesn't matter, what about everybody else?”
  117. >She giggles.
  118. >“All I've had is Spike running off doing some odd jumps. Nobody's having much problems but you. Look around.”
  119. >She opens a curtain.
  120. >“Everypony is having a good time.”
  121. “Then what were you doing when I came in?”
  122. >She knocks her head, as though she had made a critical error.
  123. >“I was trying to come up with an equation to tell us how this happened.”
  124. >Of course she was. [spoiler]fuckin nerd[/spoiler]
  125. >She grabs a piece of paper and scribbles down something on it.
  126. “Why does it matter to you if it doesn't affect you?”
  127. >“I like to know the science behind it.”
  128. >Sigh.
  129. “Can you change it back? If I so wanted to?”
  130. >Abruptly, Fluttershy walks in.
  131. >“Twilight! Can I bo- oh.”
  132. >She gives a sneer in your direction.
  133. >Doesn't acknowledge you after that.
  134. >“Borrow a book on how to get rid of pests?”
  135. >This truly is bizarre.
  136. “Fluttershy, what was with you back there?”
  137. >Not even a batted eyelid.
  138. >Not even a suggestive wink.
  139. >Not even a sly glance.
  140. >Suddenly, you're not sure what's worse.
  141. >A world where nobody would pay attention to you unless you had to make the effort...
  142. >Or a world with an overaffectionate Fluttershy.
  143. >The door shuts behind her, carrying with her the air of sad.
  144. >“Yes.”
  145. >You turn to her.
  146. “Huh?”
  147. >“You asked if I can change it back. Yes.”
  148. >She puzzles at you, saying nothing for a few seconds.
  149. >“You actually miss it.”
  150. >Throwing up your hands, you ask what.
  151. >“The guesses at your... interests. The hiding in the shower til you come in.”
  152. >Your face becomes flushed.
  153. >“And most of all, her.”
  154. >And that's done it.
  155. “No! Of course I don't! That's preposterous.”
  156. >Things take a turn for the Darth Vader.
  157. >“Look deep within you, Anon! You know it to be true!”
  158. >Uncontrollably, you have to yell one thing.
  159. “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
  160. >All is silent in the treehouse.
  161. >“...What was that for?”
  162. >Shit.
  163. >No Star Wars in Equestria.
  164. “N-nothin'.”
  165. >A funny face, Twilight presents to you.
  166. [spoiler]>We Yoda now.[/spoiler]
  167. >“Well, I'm just gonna go ahead and change it back.”
  168. >Fuck's sake, she's playing the devil in this scenario.
  169. “No, don't.”
  170. >A shit-eating grin creeps onto her lips.
  171. >“So you want to be stuck in this weird world?”
  172. “No! But-”
  173. >“So you want to be with your beloved Fluttershy?!”
  174. “Ye-NO! Just-”
  175. >“Aha! You do!”
  176. >Stretching out a hand, you try to scream “NO!”
  177. >But before you can, her horn flashes purple.
  178. >A titanic export of concentrated sounds of an entire universe hits you all at once, and without warning knocks you out.
  179.  
  180. >Night Bizarro
  181. >Late owls toot, and you hear a shower.
  182. >Your clock reads 4am.
  183. >Fuck, why.
  184. >Who's even in your house to shower anyway?
  185. >You get out of bed and sluggishly make your way into the bathroom.
  186. >Ripping open the shower curtains carelessly, a yellow shape appears.
  187. >“U-um...”
  188. >You're back home.
  189. >Through the window, you swear you see that pesky Twilight giving you a smirk.
  190. >But, you know you're thankful anyway.
  191. >Stripping off your pyjama bottoms, you hop in the shower.
  192. >Spend until morning
  193. >Fucking Fluttershy.