- >Day Bizarro
 - >Looming overhead is a red sky, mixed in with green clouds.
 - >Outside, the birds are not chirping.
 - >They are growling.
 - >And they have molars.
 - >Why do they have molars.
 - >That's fuckin' terrifying.
 - >SunflowerSheepish is “singing” to them.
 - >And behind her are the Ponytones but, instead of a soothing melody...
 - >Blast beats.
 - >“CRUSH CUNTS WITH OUR TEEEEEEETH”
 - >Sweeping guitars.
 - >“PONIES, WE FEAST ON MEAAAAAT”
 - >Ah yes, day brutal death metal in Equestria.
 - >For too long you had wondered what was with Fluttershy, well, of course you did. She has tried to molest you on several occasions.
 - >But you never expected this... bizarreness to occur.
 - >The fucking trees grow leaves first now.
 - >A flash of light and a popping sound approaches your senses.
 - >“Oh, it's just wonderful! Truly marvelous!”
 - >Indeed, this was the doing of Dickswo- Discord.
 - >Of course it was.
 - “So, what caused you to do this?”
 - >The amalgamation of creatures abrasively twists towards you, appalled at your assumption.
 - >“Me? What ever caused you to think /that/?”
 - >You fold your arms.
 - “Well, it's not like you haven't accidentally trapped the Princesses in a fucking tree or caused candy floss clouds to rain chocolate milk. Of course not.”
 - >His suddenly-elongated eyelashes flutter at you innocently.
 - >“Anon, I honestly had nothing to do with this. I wouldn't dare interfere with those birds' dental situations, that's unsanitary.”
 - >Clean freak.
 - “So, who was it?”
 - >A shrug.
 - >Great.
 - “Well, I'd best get on with the day then. I still have work to go to.”
 - >“Oh, I wouldn't bother if I were you.”
 - >You stop in your tracks.
 - >Raise an eyebrow at the draconequus.
 - >“I saw Pinko Pang or whatever her name is throwing sticks at a young dragon with a gryphon. Is she new in town?”
 - >Well, no work for you then.
 - “I... I don't think so.”
 - >Discord smiles.
 - >“Excellent. Obviously, Sugarcube Corner is, as of now, closed until further notice. Enjoy your day off!”
 - >With a puff of smoke, Discord leaves you in your hall, pondering what the fuck is going on.
 - >You take a step outside, figuring there's nothing else better to do but go and see Applejack.
 - >If anyone knew what was going on it would be Hat Horse.
 - >Fluttershy stands at your door.
 - >You expect the worst, but,
 - >“GOOD MORNING!”
 - >She yells at you, but with a smile on her face.
 - >Your legs baulk slightly.
 - >Fearing the worst, you get ready to goddamn peg it.
 - >She then leaps upon you, and tries to-
 - >Cuddle with you.
 - >Crawling away from Jaundiced Low Volume, you wonder why she wasn't forcing her gross halitosis tongue down your throat.
 - >“But I wanted a hug!”
 - >The rest of the Ponytones turn to you and start to glare.
 - >One of them starts to open their mouth slowly.
 - >Fuuuuuck that noise!
 - >Covering your ears you fuckin' bolt in any direction that isn't where they are.
 - >Wails of metal violate your eardrums.
 - >So now it's just audible harassment, not sexual.
 - >The terrible screams from the assortment of pones causes you to call for help.
 - “APPLEJAAACK!”
 - >From a street corner, the orange pony pops out.
 - >No
 - >Fucking
 - >Hat
 - “WHAT IN THE EVER-LIVING FUCK IS GOING ON!”
 - >The gryphon Discord mentioned earlier laughs at you, and throws a stick off your unsuspecting head.
 - “FUUUUCK YOU AAAAALL, WHERE'S THE PRETTY PURPLE PRINCESS”
 - >Your fatigued legs are ready to just fall off your torso and keep going by themselves to an owner that wouldn't only use them in dire situations like this.
 - >Many mares and stallions turn to you and begin chasing you, tongues out the side as if they're dogs.
 - >“Where ya goin'?!”
 - >“Who ya visitin'?!”
 - >“Is there gonna be a surprise?!”
 - >And all at once now,
 - >“SURPRIIIISE!”
 - >If your ears weren't dead before, you're going to need 3 hearing aids for each now.
 - “GET AWAY FROM ME!”
 - >Sliding around the corner you spot the treehouse.
 - >Finally!
 - >You hoof it to the door and slam it with a crash behind you.
 - “Twilight! Do something!!”
 - >She's sitting there, with papers in magic-hand.
 - >Whispering to herself, you make out some jargon.
 - >“If I reverse the matrices of 1-5-6, then I can trace the logistic scan back to...”
 - “Hello?! I exist, you know!”
 - >“And then I can carry the error and still get a solution for the mystic charge...”
 - >You stomp your foot on the ground.
 - >“So that I can- ANON! Hello!”
 - >She seems excited to see you.
 - >Then she hurls you into a bookshelf.
 - >...Your nose hurts.
 - >“Get me a book on M-theory, stat!”
 - >Ponies can't into physics.
 - >Things are REAL fucked now.
 - >Slapping your hands between books rapidly, you see the first big M and just fuckin' lob the thing at her.
 - >“Gre- OOF”
 - “Where's Spike? Doesn't he do this sort of stu- Oh yeah, he's getting pummeled by wood.”
 - >She tilts her head in a “what the fuck” sort of manner, raises a hoof but then stops.
 - >Twilight doesn't dare question these things anymore.
 - >She will question you though.
 - >“What issues have you been experiencing though?”
 - “Oh, well, Discord came to my house, Fluttershy only wanted cuddles instead of cock, the Ponytones growled at me, a gryphon threw a stick at me, and dog-pones followed me here. Oh, and as if that wasn't enough, Applejack wasn't wearing her hat.”
 - >She asks you to repeat one.
 - >You know which one.
 - “Applejack wasn't wearing her hat.”
 - >“No, not that. Second one.”
 - >...
 - “Fluttershy only wanted cuddles. Not cock.”
 - >She scratches her head.
 - >“Even with all the other stuff, don't you /want/ her to curb her enthusiasm for the human... anatomy?”
 - >Inside, you wonder.
 - >Is all this worth it for Fluttershy to stop trying to rape you?
 - >You don't let on though.
 - “That doesn't matter, what about everybody else?”
 - >She giggles.
 - >“All I've had is Spike running off doing some odd jumps. Nobody's having much problems but you. Look around.”
 - >She opens a curtain.
 - >“Everypony is having a good time.”
 - “Then what were you doing when I came in?”
 - >She knocks her head, as though she had made a critical error.
 - >“I was trying to come up with an equation to tell us how this happened.”
 - >Of course she was. [spoiler]fuckin nerd[/spoiler]
 - >She grabs a piece of paper and scribbles down something on it.
 - “Why does it matter to you if it doesn't affect you?”
 - >“I like to know the science behind it.”
 - >Sigh.
 - “Can you change it back? If I so wanted to?”
 - >Abruptly, Fluttershy walks in.
 - >“Twilight! Can I bo- oh.”
 - >She gives a sneer in your direction.
 - >Doesn't acknowledge you after that.
 - >“Borrow a book on how to get rid of pests?”
 - >This truly is bizarre.
 - “Fluttershy, what was with you back there?”
 - >Not even a batted eyelid.
 - >Not even a suggestive wink.
 - >Not even a sly glance.
 - >Suddenly, you're not sure what's worse.
 - >A world where nobody would pay attention to you unless you had to make the effort...
 - >Or a world with an overaffectionate Fluttershy.
 - >The door shuts behind her, carrying with her the air of sad.
 - >“Yes.”
 - >You turn to her.
 - “Huh?”
 - >“You asked if I can change it back. Yes.”
 - >She puzzles at you, saying nothing for a few seconds.
 - >“You actually miss it.”
 - >Throwing up your hands, you ask what.
 - >“The guesses at your... interests. The hiding in the shower til you come in.”
 - >Your face becomes flushed.
 - >“And most of all, her.”
 - >And that's done it.
 - “No! Of course I don't! That's preposterous.”
 - >Things take a turn for the Darth Vader.
 - >“Look deep within you, Anon! You know it to be true!”
 - >Uncontrollably, you have to yell one thing.
 - “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
 - >All is silent in the treehouse.
 - >“...What was that for?”
 - >Shit.
 - >No Star Wars in Equestria.
 - “N-nothin'.”
 - >A funny face, Twilight presents to you.
 - [spoiler]>We Yoda now.[/spoiler]
 - >“Well, I'm just gonna go ahead and change it back.”
 - >Fuck's sake, she's playing the devil in this scenario.
 - “No, don't.”
 - >A shit-eating grin creeps onto her lips.
 - >“So you want to be stuck in this weird world?”
 - “No! But-”
 - >“So you want to be with your beloved Fluttershy?!”
 - “Ye-NO! Just-”
 - >“Aha! You do!”
 - >Stretching out a hand, you try to scream “NO!”
 - >But before you can, her horn flashes purple.
 - >A titanic export of concentrated sounds of an entire universe hits you all at once, and without warning knocks you out.
 - >Night Bizarro
 - >Late owls toot, and you hear a shower.
 - >Your clock reads 4am.
 - >Fuck, why.
 - >Who's even in your house to shower anyway?
 - >You get out of bed and sluggishly make your way into the bathroom.
 - >Ripping open the shower curtains carelessly, a yellow shape appears.
 - >“U-um...”
 - >You're back home.
 - >Through the window, you swear you see that pesky Twilight giving you a smirk.
 - >But, you know you're thankful anyway.
 - >Stripping off your pyjama bottoms, you hop in the shower.
 - >Spend until morning
 - >Fucking Fluttershy.
 

