- >>That morning was really awkward
- >>You did your best to force it out of your mind
- >>But you couldn't
- >>Now you weren't just fighting to get your body back
- >>You were fighting to save a freaky-deeky lesbian relationship between two disgusting animals
- >>Ugh
- >>BonBon was a hazard to your health
- >>Why were you so dead-set on fixing this for her?
- >>You should really only care about retrieving that which was stolen from you
- >>But that's just not how you worked
- >>You had to be a mushy sad-sap
- >>And so you went, clopping down the road
- >>Saddlebag slung over your back
- >>Twilights books were in there; they needed to be returned
- >>They would also be your front if BonBon found out and asked
- >>The way equine hips and shoulders moved while you walked was so awkward
- >>Your ass was on full display
- >>Being a pony was gross
- >>To say that you didn't like it was an understatement
- >>But when you got close enough to the Library, you looked through the window
- >>Lo and behold, Mister 'Anon' was inside, yucking it up with your friends
- >>This made you growl
- >>But you had to keep calm
- >>Reserved
- >>Classy
- >>Otherwise, shit was going to fall apart
- >>You stuck out your chest, put on your pokerface, and sallied forth
- >>You had a job to do
- >>“Anon... are you sure? I mean, it's so sudden...”
- >>“I'm sure, Twilight. I would be happier.”
- >>You come through the door in the middle of a conversation
- >>You stop. They have not noticed you yet
- >>Lyra had your body wearing the same exact clothes as you wore several days ago when you guys switched
- >>She smelled like she hasn't bathed
- >>And she hasn’t shaved your face, either, since that night
- >>The hair was a mess
- >>It made you want to hurl
- >>“But, I mean, Anon...”
- >>Twilight was visibly upset
- >>You grew suspicious and leaned in; one eye squinted and the other brow raised
- >>“This world is not meant for me, Twilight. I belong in the human world.”
- >>Your eyes shoot wide
- >>“...I guess it's your choice”
- >>Twilight looked down
- >>“Send the letter, Spike”
- >>He acknowledged, and the scroll in his hands vanished in a green wash of flame
- Wha-what? No! What?!
- >>You suddenly trot up and leap up on the table, spreading your legs like supports to a tent and glaring at Twilight Sparkle
- What was that? Right there!
- What did you do!?
- >>Lyra, still inhabiting your body, stumbled back away from you and lifted her arms over her face
- >>Acting like she was threatened by you
- >>“See?! The crazy stalker follows me wherever I go!”
- >>Twilight looked over to 'Anonymous' for a moment, then to you
- >>She furrowed her brows
- >>“It's royal business. Get off my table”
- >>Internally, you curse Twilight
- >>She was never, EVER this cooperative when it suited you
- >>You bounce off the table
- >>But you just turn your attention on Lyra
- You're a liar
- >>Twilight spoke up, then
- >>“Lyra! You've never acted like this, before.”
- >>It was already starting to fall apart
- >>But you couldn't help it
- You're being had, Twilight. That's not me! I mean, that's not Anonymous.
- >>The purple pony leaned forward, clearly not amused
- >>“Looks like Anonymous to me...”
- Twilight! I need you to listen to me for just a...
- >>“You know, Lyra, I tried to tell Anon that you weren't stalking him. But I can see I was wrong. You're acting really weird.”
- >>She turned her head over to Lyra and smiled sweetly
- >>“I'm sorry, Anonymous...”
- >>How could they not see it?!
- >>You loved the hell out of this woman like family and she can't even be bothered to tell the difference?!
- >>By Celestia, you need better friends
- >>You bucked your saddle bag off of your back, and it landed in front of twilight
- >>You can just see Lyra taunting at you through those eyes that used to be yours
- >>It infuriated you
- >>Spike convulsed
- >>“Oh cru...”
- >>He belched a shower of flame, and Twilight used her magic to pluck the resulting scroll out of the air
- >>She carried it over to herself and unfurled the scroll
- >>“Dear Twilight Sparkle,”
- >>She began, not caring that you were there
- >>“It is with a heavy heart that I receive news of Anon's desire to leave us. But out of my endless respect for his wishes, I will personally come to Ponyville and perform the spell to return him to his own continuum. You all will have two days, including this one, to say your good-byes and prepare yourselves.”
- >>“Signed, Princess Celestia.”
- >>You recoil in horror
- >>'Anonymous' pumps his fist
- >>Twilight's spirits drain
- >>Spike doesn't really give a damn
- >>“Well... maybe we can ask Pinkie to throw a good-bye party for you, Anon?”
- >>You whirl around and growl at Lyra with the typical threatening wold sound effect
- You sonofa bitch!
- >>Twilight comes to attention, her ears jump up
- >>But it was less than a second before you jump on Lyra
- So was this your plan, Lyra?! You sick tramp!
- >>You slap a hoof across your former face
- Give me my body back!
- >>Lyra doesn't fight back, just kicks around and puts up a token defense
- >>“You're Crazy, Lyra!”
- Right now! It's my life, dammit!
- >>You hook your hooves around the collar of her shirt and bang her against the floor a few times
- You have no right! You hear me?! Look at you! You're not even using my body right!
- You think you'll last in the human world?! Fat chance! And what about BonBon, huh?!
- Now return what's mine, asshole!
- >>You backhoof Lyra across the face once more
- >>Who could blame you for snapping? You're a nice guy, but you're also violent
- >>And at this juncture, you were being forced to watch as your everything slips out of your hands
- >>Or hooves, in this case
- >>Your friendships, your personnel life
- >>But at this point, it wasn't JUST about you
- >>Mostly, but not just
- >>BonBon was a sweet, lovable little wrecking ball that was going to tenderize your ASS if you didn't get your body back
- >>Oh, and also, the love of her life would be gone forever and she wouldn't even know it
- >>Lyra's face adopts a shallow blush
- >>Twilight finally leaps to action and plucks you from Lyra with a magical aura
- >>Her horn glows, and she drags you through the air helplessly
- >>“Listen, Lyra, I don't know what the heck is wrong with you...”
- I'm not Lyra! I'm not a pony! I'm a human!
- >>You kick your legs helplessly, tumbling around in the air
- >>Twilight rolls her eyes
- >>“Yes, we all know about your... 'research.' But Anon is about to leave us and...”
- >>She sniffs, holding back tears
- >>“...and I'm not going to let you ruin this for him!”
- >>You tug on your mane as Twilight starts to carry you towards the door
- >>You grab on to the edge of one of the book recesses in the wall with one hoof
- >>She tugs and tugs, but you persevere and jab your other hoof to Lyra
- Tell her! You better tell her the truth RIGHT now!
- >>Lyra just gets up and brushes herself off
- >>“Lyra, I don't know what you're talking about...”
- >>You growl again
- You liar! You're a damn liar!
- >>Twilight wrests you free and swings the door open
- Just you wait, Lyra! You won't get away with this! And when I get my body back, I'll murk your ass all accro-
- >>Just like that, you get thrown out by Twilight's magic and land on your flank twenty meters from the library
- >>Moments later, your – empty – saddle bag comes flying as well and smacks you in the face
- >>Great. This was just getting better and better.
- >>Less than forty-eight hours
- >>That was all the time you had until this deal was sealed
- >>You weren't going to let that happen
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The Story That Never Was - Chapter 28
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