Title:           The Story That Never Was - Chapter 23
Author:          Shermanator
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/cyPHBeNM
First Edit:      Thursday 20th of December 2012 02:19:34 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 20th of December 2012 02:19:34 AM CDT

>>You are exhausted
>>And at work
>>Your eyes are heavy, they feel like they will close at any second
>>Black marks linger below them
>>Worst still, you still have a black eye
>>Your entire weekend was spent trying to outmaneuver this nightmare
>>Lyra was running you ragged
>>And whenever she approached you, BonBon popped out of NOWHERE and destroyed you
>>At least now you have some peace and quiet
>>Just washing dishes
>>Wash, rinse, dry
>>Wash, rinse, dry
>>Repetitive, but easy
>>You got in to work before anyone else
>>Mostly because you wanted to dodge Lyra this morning
>>You had just finished up cleaning all of last night's dishes and cleaning up all the cooking surfaces when Pinkie Pie came down the stairs, yawning
 
>>“Ayauh...”
>>Her yawns were kind of cute.
>>“Hey, Anon. Wait... Anon?”
>>You look from your station over to where the sound came from
>>Nothing
>>“What are YOU doing here so early?”
>>The sound came from behind you
>>You whirl around
>>She's gone
>>“Silly! There's no party today!”
>>You toss a look over your shoulder and find nothing
>>You look forward again, and her head fills your vision – upside down
Gah!
>>You stumble back
>>“So what are you doing here so early?! Huh, huh, huh?”
>>It's way too early for this shit
Pinkie, please
 
>>A hand clutches your chest as you breathe deep, recovering from the scare
>>“Sorry! But you still haven't answered my question!”
>>She bounces in circles around you, her eyes closed in that cartoony expression of glee
>>You weren't a fan of being interrogated
>>But Pinkie was sort of your friend, you guess
>>Even if you hardly knew her
>>Well, on second thought, she DID come to see you in the hospital
>>And before that, she DID sing you that welcome song
>>Even if it scared the consciousness right out of you
Just felt like getting an early start, is all.
>>You were still a man of few words
>>Since day one, you didn't like talking too much
>>Sometimes it got on their nerves, you noticed
>>Sometimes Twilight mutters to herself about how taking your comprehension spell away would not make a difference
>>But that's okay. You like Twilight, and at the end of the day she likes you
>>And you can get really talkative with Rainbow
>>You almost fail to notice Pinkie Pie stretching her neck out to look you in the eye
>>She is now a Giraffe. Nice.
>>She probably senses your unease. Apparently you are easier to read than you'd like to be
So, why are YOU up to early?
>>“Oh, that's easy you silly-filly!”
I'm not a filly.
>>She continues talking
>>“I live here! And instead of paying rent, I just do some things for Mr. and Ms. Cake”
I'm not silly, either.
>>“It's like doing chores, really! I also get all the cake I can eat! Oh, and Ice cream, and cookies, and...”
>>It always felt like you were having two different conversations
Wait, what?
>>“...I also get a workshop where I get to make things! Like my party cannon! And my welcome wagon!”
 
>>She continued, throwing her eyes left to right and lifting her hooves as she listed the merits of her housing
You live here?
>>“And Mr. and Ms. Cake are so nice! They even pay me for the work I do! It's so...”
They're not your parents are they?
>>“What?”
>>Finally, we're getting somewhere
>>You learned a long time ago that trying to halt Pinkie was futile
>>Best to just keep talking and wait until she loses track and focuses on you
You said you live here. The Cakes' aren't your parents, are they?
>>Pinkie's lips were blown out
>>“PFFFT! No, silly-filly”
I'm not silly.
>>“I lived on a rock farm outside of Ponyville. It was boring, there were no colors or anything!”
And I'm pretty sure I'm older than you.
>>Here she goes again
>>“All we did all day was roll rocks around. I never did find out why we did that! It was so silly! But one day...”
By, like, a lot.
>>“I saw this rainbow, and it made me smile so widely that I just wanted to make everyone around me smile!”
It's actually pretty creepy that I hang out with you guys
>>And have to actively try and avoid being raped by them
>>“So I packed up my things and moved to Ponyville where I could make everyone smile and meet new friends!”
How old are you?
>>“I actually think it was Rainbow Dash's Sonic Rainboom that did it! It's how I got my cutiemark”
>>The bell out front rang
Cus...
>>“CUSTOMER!”
>>She zipped out so fast that it spun you around and left you on your flank, wondering just what happened
>>That Pinkie Pie, so random.
 
>>Later on in the day, you were working the ovens
>>Dishes weren't backed up, but you were worried since it was just you and Pinkie
>>The Cakes' were not accounted for
>>Pinkie trotted back into the kitchen, happy and as energetic as ever
>>“Wow! That was a long line!”
Banana nut muffins are in the oven, boss.
>>Pinkie gave you a weird look
>>“I'm not Boss. I'm Pinkie Pie! Silly anon!”
>>You stop what you're doing, shake your head, and get back to work
So, where ARE the Cakes'?
>>“Oh, they won't be coming in today. Just us!”
>>You frown
>>Pinkie can drive you up the goddamn wall sometimes
>>“SOOO~!”
>>You look over your shoulder to find her face right in yours, wearing a wicked smile
Gah!
>>You fumble and nearly drop an icing dispenser
Pinkie Pie!
>>You scold
>>“I~ told you my story. So NOW~ you get to tell me yours!”
>>She trotted past you, looking up at you the whole way
I came to Ponyville, you scared the daylights out of me, I fell down a hole, then I got a job here.
>>She furrowed her brows and stuck out her lower lip, looking at you
>>“Now don't be a grumpy guss, Anon.”
>>You don't want to tell her that Celestia has left your mind as such a wreck that you can't remember shit
Nothing to tell.
>>You move to put away a tray of cupcake tins, when Pinkie suddenly appears in front of you from out of the blue
D'ah!
>>In your fright you drop the tins, which clatter to the floor with a thunderous racket
Pinkie! Now I have to wash these again!
>>You mutter a string of human curses to yourself as you carry them to the sink and start scrubbing
>>Bad enough that you have to wear a pink frilly apron
>>“Come on! What about your mom? Your dad? Your friends?”
 
>>She bounces around you
>>Sore subject
>>You can't remember any of them
>>Celestia made sure of that
Pinky, PLEASE. Just... PLEASE.
>>She settles down and frowns
>>“Well... how about your cutie mark? Do you always hide it under those clothes? What's your special talent?”
>>You cringe
>>You mutter a response
I don... have... utiemark...
>>“What was that?”
>>You flip your shit and whirl around at her
I don't HAVE a cutiemark!
Pinkie, I NEED this job. Would you PLEASE just let me work?!
>>She was 100% unfazed and continued with the inquisition
>>“Oh, Anon, I just noticed! What happened to your eye?”
>>She raised a hoof to point to your right eye
>>You forgot about it yourself, and put your hand up to see what she was talking about
>>Ouch! Oh, that's right. BonBon arranged a meeting with her hoof and your face
Oh, this
>>You take a moment to answer
I got in a little tussle the other night. No big deal
>>You go back to the dishes
>>“What? With who?!”
Somepony by the name of BonBon. She gets a little aggressive when I get near Lyra.
>>“That's not just a little! Are you hanging around with Lyra a lot?”
>>“Why don't you hang out with me?”
>>“I could throw you a party!”
>>You rinse off a tin and set it out to dry before moving on to the next one
Lyra comes to me. She's been, uh... kind of creepy, lately.
>>“Creepy like how?”
Creepy like she teleports into my house and watches me sleep at night
>>At this, Pinkie recoiled and brought up a brow
>>“What? Really?”
>>You look up from what you're doing to shoot Pinkie a glance
Yeah.
Really.
 
>>You return to work, rinsing off a tin and setting it out to dry
>>“Want to stay over tonight? She won't find you here. We'll have a slumber party!”
>>Celestia... ALWAYS with the damn parties
No, it's okay. Twilight is coming by tomorrow to teleport-proof my house. Once she does that, it'll all be fine.
>>Pinkie looks at you, concerned
>>She starts twitching like crazy as she thinks about it
>>The bell out front rings
Cus...
>>“CUSTOMER!”
>>Pinkie zips off, leaving you to your work at last