Title:           The Story That Never Was - Chapter 22
Author:          Shermanator
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/tWks47WS
First Edit:      Thursday 20th of December 2012 02:18:05 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 20th of December 2012 02:18:05 AM CDT

>>It was the same day
>>You left your house as secure as you could
>>You needed to find Twilight, pronto
>>And to do that, you headed toward the library
>>You already notice that not every p0ny trusts you, given their looks
>>But that's alright. They don't need to
>>You're different, you've done wrong. You don't hold it against them
>>You're not even mad
>>The sun beats down on you
>>At least the worst of your problems are over
 
>>You see the library in the distance and are relieved
>>Surely, Twilight will be able to help you with that teleporting pervert
>>You break out into a jog
>>But you are forced to a halt when Applejack steps out in front of you
>>She crosses her forelegs and looks up at you with a smug smile
>>Not today. Please, just not today
>>“Well howdy there, Anonymous! Lookin' pretty good, all up and about.”
>>Anonymous is not an idiot
>>You know where this is going
>>“You know, you should be rewarded for savin' mah sister. Got any ideas?”
>>She bats her eyelashes
>>Well, here goes nothing
For you to leave me alone.
>>Applejack guffaws momentarily before she tips her hat back with her hoof
>>“Ah love it when ya act like ya don't want it.”
>>She starts advancing towards you
>>You step back
>>Wait
We're in the middle of P0nyville. You wouldn't try anything.
>>“Nope! But ya gotta go home sometime.”
>>“Ya can go about yer' day, Anon. But now that you're able to walk, it's open season on your ass tonight.”
>>She lifted a hoof and motioned to you as she talked, taunting you
 
>>Your lids drop to half closed and you give Applejack the most unamused glare you can muster
Gee, thanks for the heads up.
>>“Jus' keepin' it honest.”
>>She winked at you
>>Armed with the knowledge that tonight is going to involve Applejack, you walk past her and on to the library
 
>>“Anonymous, I think you're overreacting.”
>>You couldn't believe it. You just couldn't fucking believe it.
So which part didn't you get, again?
>>“Anon, Lyra is a quiet, sweet girl.”
So you know who I'm talking about, then?
>>“Of course! She checks out books from here all the time!”
>>Twilight was restocking her books and doing research at the same time while talking with you
>>You couldn't help but feel a little offended
>>Like she wasn't giving your trouble her full attention
What kind of books?
>>You ask
Like, how to compromise home security? A basic premier to being a creepy stalker?
>>Twilight groans at you
>>“It SOUNDS like she just wants to be your friend.”
Twilight! Friends don't watch each other sleep!
>>Twilight lifted her head from her book and her ears perked
>>“Really?”
Yeah.
Really.
>>“Huh, I'm gonna need to look over my guide to friendship in Equestria again.”
>>She goes back to her work, leaving you standing there
...Well?!
>>“I'm not going to do it right NOW! Look, Anon, in the mean time you're just going to have to learn to handle it yourself.”
>>You pull your short hair
What do you want me to do? Scream 'Get out of here, STALKER?!'
 
>>Twilight gives a frustrated groan, throwing her head up from her work
>>“Okay you big baby. After I'm done with inventory I'll work on teleport-proofing your house. How's that?”
>>You slap your hands to your sides, giving a breath of relief
Thank you!
>>She smiles at you and returns to her duties
...So are we talking tonight? Tomorrow?
>>“Middle of next week.”
>>FFFUUUU
 
>>You give up, not wanting to bug Twilight too much
>>You love her like family, and understand her situation
>>You just wish she would try to understand yours a little better
>>Oh well, she did agree to help – even if that help was less than forthcoming
>>Suddenly, you notice that the day is starting to set
>>Damnit... you better get home and barricade it
>>You pick up the pace to a brisk jog, getting faster and faster as your precious light begins to vanish
>>Suddenly, you find that you aren't alone
>>A snow-green pony strides next to you
>>On two legs
>>Like a human
>>You groan
Not in the mood, Lyra!
>>“Why's that, Anonymous? Is there some human ritual that we have to get to?”
>>You can't even come up with an answer
>>Was this chick for real?
>>Suddenly, a pale cream colored pony with cyan eyes gets in your path
>>You recognize this one, but cannot put your finger on it
>>You stumble to a stop, not wanting to run her over
>>But god damnit, you jog in place
>>You have maybe a half hour of light, at the absolute most
>>And you highly doubt it
>>“Hi, BonBon!”
>>BonBon? You've heard this one's name, before
>>But where was it?
>>BonBon struts up to you, calmly
>>She reaches a hoof to your collar and pulls you down to her level with amazing strength
Wha-huh?!
 
>>She speaks up, her voice different from before
>>“I WARNED you to stay away from Lyra!”
>>Oh, shit – THIS one
>>Back when the town was out for your blood
>>You gave her a smirk
>>You had the upper hand, here
>>No fear
>>I mean, you are the former Ponyville champ!
>>What the hell does this literal candy-ass think she has on you?
>>Her face goes red with your disregard
>>Sound effect of a tea kettle whistling
>>Your smirk drops a half second before a hoof rams into your face
>>You and she are quickly envelopped in a cartoony cloud inside of which is a world of violence
>>The cloud bounces to and fro, in every direction
Please, not the face!
>>“I warned you! I warned you!”
Ow! My eye! That's my EYE!
>>“Homewrecker!”
WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY EYE!?
>>Through an act of Celestia you are able to leap out of the ragecloud and zip away, making best speed
>>Your right eye is black as hell
>>BonBon gives hot pursuit
>>“I'm not done with you, yet!”
>>Every sentence she speaks is with a different voice
>>This woman is FUCKING SATAN
>>Luckily, you outpace her by virtue of your longer legs
>>House in sight
>>You're home free
>>Just got to...
>>Something suddenly binds your legs together and causes you to fall on your face
>>You are dragged into a dark alley way, clawing at the ground as your house vanishes from view
No! No, oh, Celestia! NOO-HO-HO!!
>>So close, and yet so far
>>Before you know it, your world is turned upside down as you find yourself in a hogtie
>>Look up
>>It's Applejack
>>Shit
>>“YEEE-HAW! Ah got ya, Anonymous!”
>>You slip into panic mode
>>You got NO time for this shit
FRIENDSHIP
FRIENDSHIP
FRIENDSHIP
 
>>You scream while writhing on the ground, attempting to pry yourself from your binds
>>Her hoof comes down and plants itself in your mouth
>>“Nuh uh, Anon. That ain't gonna work.”
>>“Ya'll don't get no safety word, this time.”
>>You look up to her in horror
>>Where's Rainbro?
>>Applejack grins with delight at her perceived victory, and lowers her lips to yours
>>“And now, Anonymous... huh?”
>>Her head recoiled
>>“...What happened to yer' eye?”
>>Just then, a cream colored hoof 'wrapped' around Applejack's face from behind before shoving her out of the way
>>BonBon took her place
>>“Out of the way, SISTER! I got unfinished business with this one!”
>>She stormed over you and reared a hoof
>>You winced, anticipating a hit
>>Applejack recovered
>>“Ah ain't yer' sister, and ah found him first!”
>>Applejack rammed BonBon off of you from the side with a equine headbutt
>>“Ugh!”
>>BonBon was quick to recover, and she lashed out at Applejack, which resulted in a second ragecloud
>>As the cloud bounced to and fro, with various cat whining sound effects being produced by it, you struggle against your binds
>>You manage to undo the binds, scramble to your feet
>>Being the clever Anonymous you are, you beat a hasty retreat towards your house
>>Just then, the fight cloud dissipates with neither mare having deciesively won
>>“He's getting away!”
>>Astute as ever, Applejack
>>Both of them take off after you
>>Oh Celestia, Oh sweet, merciful Celestia
>>They'll knock your door down easily if you try to hide inside your house
 
>>Immediately, you employ your superior hands to leap off your feet and grab a branch in a large tree planted near your house
>>You hoist yourself up,
>>Get to your feet, balance yourself, and leap to the next highest branch
>>They catch up to you and attempt to mimic your feat, but fail miserably
>>“Gah! Galdernit, hooves...”
>>Applejack kicks a hoof against the ground
>>“Ya won this one, Anon! But mark my words, your flank will be mine!”
>>Applejack trots off, growling, hanging her head low
>>BonBon raises her hoof at you and makes a threatening gesture before she takes off
>>You breathe heavily
>>You're about ten feet off of the ground
>>Your legs dangle off of a thick branch
>>You dodged a rape bullet yet again
 
>>You wait for about fifteen minutes, wanting to make sure they've gone
>>“Teehee~!”
>>You look to your side
>>Lyra is smiling her broad smile at you
Lyra, get down from my tree
You are not a human
You don't even have hands