Title:           The Story That Never Was - Chapter 21
Author:          Shermanator
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/rsJj5SMi
First Edit:      Monday 17th of December 2012 09:14:33 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 17th of December 2012 09:14:33 PM CDT

>>Glorious weekend
>>You don't have anything to do
>>You've had a pretty good week leading up to this
>>Well, save for being in the hospital
>>And that thing last night with Lyra
>>That was really creepy
>>Celestia's sun overtakes Luna's stars
>>A rooster crows
>>A beam of light traces along your floor from the nearby window until it lands on your face
>>You cringe and turn your head
>>But the sting of the shine eats at your skin, and your eyes crease open
>>Only to find a pair of orange eyeballs nestled inside of a light green face staring straight down at you
>>You immediately flinch, fully awake, and scream like a little girl
>>As a defensive reaction, you pull your covers up to your head and shiver
>>It's way too early for this shit
>>“Hi~!”
 
>>You lower your sheets from your eyes and take another look
L...Lyra?
>>She happily nods, ecstatic that you remembered her name
But why? How? What?
>>“I was here all night, Mister Anon!”
>>Your eyes expand to fill your two dimensional head
>>Your pupils shrink to pinpricks
>>“Watching you sleeeeeeep...”
>>You glare up at her for a moment
>>This can't be happening
>>There's got to be some sort of rule against this sort of thing
Get off of my bed
>>“Okay~!”
>>She bounces off of your bed gracefully
>>Almost the way that Pinkie Pie just sails through the air when she skips
>>Creeps you out even further
>>This is just off the scales
>>You sit up and swing out of bed, looking down at her
Alright. How did you get in?
 
>>Still smiling, her horn glows and produces yet another spare key that flies out of her mane
>>You grab it out of the air
>>She produces another one
>>You grab that one
>>She presents a third key
Okay, what the hell?
>>“Magic!”
>>She snorts, and then grins widely
>>As if she was waiting for approval
Okay. Get out.
>>She drops her smile and looks up at you
You heard me. Get out.
>>There's a pause
>>You clench your teeth
…
>>She suddenly jumps into the air and lands on her back, hooves kicking in the air
>>She chuckles, madly
>>“You'll have to lift me up!”
>>You glare at her
>>“With your hands!”
>>She jabs a hoof to your left hand, which is at your hip
>>Pause
>>“...Touch me with your hands”
>>You cringe
Oh.. UGH! Augh, oh, jeez! You're sick, lady!
>>Holy crap, this was worse than Applejack and Fluttershy combined
>>From them, you knew what to expect
>>This little freak? She can alienate your home at any time and had some sort of weirdo fangirl fetish
 
>>The next moment is of you kicking open your door and heaving this annoying little snot-colored witch out of your home
>>She lands on her flank
>>You slam the door shut
>>Shut the combination lock
>>There. Even if she unlocks the door, it won't budge
 
>>And she can't just stay out there forever
>>You turn around
>>She is waiting for you, right behind you
>>She smiles and you here a high pitched squee
What the hell?
>>She raises a hoof to her forehead
>>Oh. She's a unicorn. That explains it.
>>You turn to unlock the door to kick her out again
>>By Celestia, you'll just keep throwing her out until she's spent on spells for the day if that's the case
>>“Mister Anonymous?”
>>You stop what you're doing and turn to see her
>>“YOUR HANDS ARE LIKE TEN DIGITS OF HEAVEN~!”
>>Inside of three seconds your door flings open
>>There's a loud smack
>>She goes arcing through the air out your door as your boot comes in contact with her hind quarters
>>You slam the door
>>Turn around
>>As predicted, there she is again
>>“You're so tall! What's it like to be so tall? Are all human beings so tall?”
>>You get ready to kick her out again, but you stop half way through
Wait, what? How did you know...?
>>Just how in the hell did she know you are a human?
>>How does she know that word?
>>Exactly much DOES she know?
>>“Because I see them in my dreams!”
>>“I think I was a human in a past life!”
>>You can't believe this
>>“I'm a human in spirit!”
>>Lyra beats her chest
>>Okay, wow
>>So now they have pony otherkin, too
>>“And I want to be just like you~!”
>>Awkward silence
 
>>She awaits your next action, watching you as if you were an exhibit
>>Knock at the door
>>You turn and answer it
>>Oh, dammit
>>It's Fluttershy
>>Dressed in thin latex dominatrix gear with a saddle crop in her mouth
>>You don't need this shit right now
>>“Um, Hi, Anon... I was just wondering if you, you know... would like to...”
>>For the love of Celestia...
>>Lyra bounds up
>>“Whose this?”
>>Fluttershy perks up upon seeing Lyra in your home
>>She stares up at you
>>With innocent eyes, like she was no more than two
>>“Anon... why?”
>>“Why is that strange mare in your home?”
>>“...Why?”
>>But you know,
>>You are so smart and so slick
>>That you thought up a lie
>>And you thought it up quick
Lyra
>>You said
This is Fluttershy. She is the resident expert on human behavior. She knows EVERYTHING about human activities.
>>Lyra skipped in place, zipping to Fluttershy
>>“Really?! Really really?! And humans like that?!”
>>Fluttershy backed up, lifting a hoof on the ground
>>“Uhh...”
It's my favorite thing in the world.
>>Upon hearing this, Lyra pounces Fluttershy
>>“Then I like it too! Come here!”
>>A scuffle ensues, and you shut your door
>>You look out the window and you see Lyra chasing Fluttershy off at best speed
>>“Come on! Do to me what you were going to do to anon!”
>>You breathe a sigh of relief
>>You haven't even had breakfast yet
>>This shit was going to get really old, really fast