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It all began with pickles

By: Shade10398 on Oct 20th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 4.51 KB  |  hits: 73  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Day Pickles in Equestria
  2. "Twilight there's pickles everywhere we gotta do something!"
  3. "They are eating all the toilet paper!"
  4. >TS: "OH NO!"
  5. >Spike walks in
  6. >S: "OH NO!"
  7. >Pinkie Pie out of nowhere
  8. >PP:"OH NO!"
  9. >Kool Aid Man through the wall
  10. >"OH YEAH!"
  11. >Smack him upside the head with a bottle
  12. "Now we drink his cherry flavored blood"
  13. > Slurping sounds
  14. >Good end
  15.  
  16. >Day Revenge in Equestria.
  17. >Finish exterminating the pickles.
  18. >Onion Master Race.
  19. >"Hey Anon, we're out of kool-aid."
  20. "Oh no."
  21. >Applejack walks in.
  22. >"Oh no."
  23. >Jelly Pony pops up.
  24. >"Oh no."
  25. >Kool-Aid Woman busts in revving up her chainsaw.
  26. >"OH YEAH!"
  27. >So much red.
  28. >Bad End.
  29.  
  30. >Day fuck this shit in Equestria.
  31. >Tartarus ain't no place to hold a man of your caliber.
  32. >Punch Cerberus in the dick and walk the fuck out.
  33. >Bitches be all like, "Oh Noes."
  34. >You be all like.
  35. "Oh yeah!"
  36. >Find that big red bitches house.
  37. >Break the fuck in.
  38. >Shit she's not here, just her emotionally compromised female daughter.
  39. >Tap that shit like there's no tommorow.
  40. >Get dat bitch pregnant.
  41. "Hell nah I ain't the father."
  42. >Skip that shit.
  43. >Walking down Ponyville's street, large red blob ahead of you.
  44. >"We meet again."
  45. >Braeburn looks out, "Oh no!"
  46. >Hydra looks out, "Oh no!"
  47. >Discord looks out, "Oh no!"
  48. >Undo your fly.
  49. "Oh yeah!
  50.  
  51. >Suddenly griffons everywhere.
  52. >But they're not normal griffons.
  53. >They're the Hot Pocket Griffons.
  54. >And their leader, HotPocketlestia, the Alipocket, has come to her aid.
  55. "Ain't nothin by a thang."
  56. >Engage in mortal battle.
  57. >End of the day, you stand victorious.
  58. >Break that Kool-Aid woman's glass and suck out her warrior spirit.
  59. "THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!"
  60. >All the p0nies come out to thank you for your heroics.
  61. "All in a day's work."
  62. >Marehood for days.
  63. >You know what you're having for dinner.
  64. "Squash Soup."
  65.  
  66. >Day marehood overload in Equestria.
  67. >Lying on your death bed.
  68. >Twilight by your side.
  69. "It's cold Twi..."
  70. >"I have some nice hot Squash Soup for you."
  71. >Wave your hand.
  72. "No, that time has passed, but there's one last thing I have to do."
  73. >"Anything."
  74. >She helps you out of your bed and takes you for one last walk around Ponyville.
  75. "I remember our shenanigans as though they were yesterday."
  76. >"It was yesterday."
  77. "Don't ruin the mood."
  78. >She shuts up.
  79. "I've caused so much pain in my life."
  80. >You didn't expect the tears.
  81. >"It's alright, there's nothing you can do now."
  82. "But there is..."
  83. >Reach into your pocket and hand it to her.
  84. "I need you to do this for me."
  85. >Wipes away her tears.
  86. >"I will."
  87. >Finally be at peace.
  88. >Twilight will make things right.
  89. >You lie back on the bed.
  90. "Now you have to promise me to use it."
  91. >"Just tell me how."
  92. >You close your eyes and smile.
  93. >She'll never see it coming.
  94. "Pickle slap that Kool-Aid bitch for me."
  95.  
  96. >Twilight walks into kool aid bitches house
  97. >"I'm here to avenge Anon's death"
  98. >Kool Aid walks up to her
  99. >"Oh Yeah!?"
  100. >Twilight pulls the pickle from her marehood
  101. >She starts the wind up and tosses it
  102. >It flys through the air at amazing speeds
  103. >It hits her in the face like a mighty dick
  104. >It's not very effective
  105. >"Well that was very anti-climatic"
  106. >"hahah Silly Twilight Pickles aren't my fetish"
  107. >She revs up her chainsaw
  108. >All is lost
  109. >Suddenly cole train out of nowhere
  110. >" CHOO CHOO MUDA FUCKA ALL ABOARD THE COLE TRAIN BABEHH"
  111. >Cole Train picks up Kool Aid Woman and pounds that shit
  112. >"Delicous Cherry Drank"
  113. >Kool Aid women has no more Cherry Drank for her jugs
  114. >She deads
  115. >All is right with the world
  116. >It was a very Shade ending
  117.  
  118.  
  119. ALTERNATE BASTINATOR ENDING:
  120. >Day Promise in Equestria.
  121. >You are Twilight Sparkle.
  122. >And you just finished burying your best friend.
  123. >He forever lies with his one true love, bacon.
  124. >You hold back the tears. He wouldn't want them wasted on him.
  125. >Look down to the pickle in your hoof.
  126. >You made him a promise, and you're going to see it through.
  127. >Break down the girl's door.
  128. >"Oh hell nah!"
  129. >Buck her through a wall and lick up her sweet red drank.
  130. "This is for Anon."
  131. >Slap her in the face with the pickle.
  132. "Like that don't you. He said how much you liked his pickle in your face."
  133. >Anon's looking down at you and smiling right now.
  134. >This is for him.
  135. "FOR ANON!"
  136. >Buck her hard in the stomach, a packet falling out her glass vag.
  137. >Oh yeah, she was pregnant.
  138. >She starts to cry.
  139. >Can't stop. This is his last wish.
  140. >Charge up your final attack.
  141. "Super Anon Pickle Smash 6969 Ultra Gigawatt!"
  142. >Girl disintegrates.
  143. >Look down, Pickle destroyed.
  144. >Anon is proud of you.
  145. >It was a very Bast ending.
  146. >With pickles.
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