Title:           It all began with pickles (dude I don't even know)
Author:          Shade10398
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/4yys40Zd
First Edit:      Saturday 20th of October 2012 03:50:29 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Saturday 20th of October 2012 03:50:29 PM CDT

>Day Pickles in Equestria
"Twilight there's pickles everywhere we gotta do something!"
"They are eating all the toilet paper!"
>TS: "OH NO!"
>Spike walks in
>S: "OH NO!"
>Pinkie Pie out of nowhere
>PP:"OH NO!"
>Kool Aid Man through the wall
>"OH YEAH!"
>Smack him upside the head with a bottle
"Now we drink his cherry flavored blood"
> Slurping sounds
>Good end
 
>Day Revenge in Equestria.
>Finish exterminating the pickles.
>Onion Master Race.
>"Hey Anon, we're out of kool-aid."
"Oh no."
>Applejack walks in.
>"Oh no."
>Jelly Pony pops up.
>"Oh no."
>Kool-Aid Woman busts in revving up her chainsaw.
>"OH YEAH!"
>So much red.
>Bad End.
 
>Day fuck this shit in Equestria.
>Tartarus ain't no place to hold a man of your caliber.
>Punch Cerberus in the dick and walk the fuck out.
>Bitches be all like, "Oh Noes."
>You be all like.
"Oh yeah!"
>Find that big red bitches house.
>Break the fuck in.
>Shit she's not here, just her emotionally compromised female daughter.
>Tap that shit like there's no tommorow.
>Get dat bitch pregnant.
"Hell nah I ain't the father."
>Skip that shit.
>Walking down Ponyville's street, large red blob ahead of you.
>"We meet again."
>Braeburn looks out, "Oh no!"
>Hydra looks out, "Oh no!"
>Discord looks out, "Oh no!"
>Undo your fly.
"Oh yeah!
 
>Suddenly griffons everywhere.
>But they're not normal griffons.
>They're the Hot Pocket Griffons.
>And their leader, HotPocketlestia, the Alipocket, has come to her aid.
"Ain't nothin by a thang."
>Engage in mortal battle.
>End of the day, you stand victorious.
>Break that Kool-Aid woman's glass and suck out her warrior spirit.
"THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!"
>All the p0nies come out to thank you for your heroics.
"All in a day's work."
>Marehood for days.
>You know what you're having for dinner.
"Squash Soup."
 
>Day marehood overload in Equestria.
>Lying on your death bed.
>Twilight by your side.
"It's cold Twi..."
>"I have some nice hot Squash Soup for you."
>Wave your hand.
"No, that time has passed, but there's one last thing I have to do."
>"Anything."
>She helps you out of your bed and takes you for one last walk around Ponyville.
"I remember our shenanigans as though they were yesterday."
>"It was yesterday."
"Don't ruin the mood."
>She shuts up.
"I've caused so much pain in my life."
>You didn't expect the tears.
>"It's alright, there's nothing you can do now."
"But there is..."
>Reach into your pocket and hand it to her.
"I need you to do this for me."
>Wipes away her tears.
>"I will."
>Finally be at peace.
>Twilight will make things right.
>You lie back on the bed.
"Now you have to promise me to use it."
>"Just tell me how."
>You close your eyes and smile.
>She'll never see it coming.
"Pickle slap that Kool-Aid bitch for me."
 
>Twilight walks into kool aid bitches house
>"I'm here to avenge Anon's death"
>Kool Aid walks up to her
>"Oh Yeah!?"
>Twilight pulls the pickle from her marehood
>She starts the wind up and tosses it
>It flys through the air at amazing speeds
>It hits her in the face like a mighty dick
>It's not very effective
>"Well that was very anti-climatic"
>"hahah Silly Twilight Pickles aren't my fetish"
>She revs up her chainsaw
>All is lost
>Suddenly cole train out of nowhere
>" CHOO CHOO MUDA FUCKA ALL ABOARD THE COLE TRAIN BABEHH"
>Cole Train picks up Kool Aid Woman and pounds that shit
>"Delicous Cherry Drank"
>Kool Aid women has no more Cherry Drank for her jugs
>She deads
>All is right with the world
>It was a very Shade ending
 
 
ALTERNATE BASTINATOR ENDING:
>Day Promise in Equestria.
>You are Twilight Sparkle.
>And you just finished burying your best friend.
>He forever lies with his one true love, bacon.
>You hold back the tears. He wouldn't want them wasted on him.
>Look down to the pickle in your hoof.
>You made him a promise, and you're going to see it through.
>Break down the girl's door.
>"Oh hell nah!"
>Buck her through a wall and lick up her sweet red drank.
"This is for Anon."
>Slap her in the face with the pickle.
"Like that don't you. He said how much you liked his pickle in your face."
>Anon's looking down at you and smiling right now.
>This is for him.
"FOR ANON!"
>Buck her hard in the stomach, a packet falling out her glass vag.
>Oh yeah, she was pregnant.
>She starts to cry.
>Can't stop. This is his last wish.
>Charge up your final attack.
"Super Anon Pickle Smash 6969 Ultra Gigawatt!"
>Girl disintegrates.
>Look down, Pickle destroyed.
>Anon is proud of you.
>It was a very Bast ending.
>With pickles.