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Unknown #1

By: Saint_Dane on Nov 16th, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 2.72 KB  |  hits: 57  |  expires: Never
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  1. >The last time you were in a forest that you did'nt know was close to you, you were shitfaced drunk, possibly butt fucked by a close friend, and fell on a racoon and killed it.
  2. >Good times.
  3. >Now this is not a good time.
  4. >Why?
  5. >Because, YOU ARE IN A FUCKING FOREST THAT YOU DON'T KNOW YOU RETARD.
  6. >Geez brain, why are you so blunt?
  7. >Becau- your argument is cut short by a growl
  8. >Stomache, wait your god damn turn.
  9. >... that wasn't me.
  10. >You look to your left and see a wolf.
  11. >... Correction a WOOD wolf.
  12. >Legs.
  13. >Yeah?
  14. >Why aren't we moving?
  15. >Brain hasn't told us yet!
  16. >WELL START NOW!
  17. >OK!
  18. >You run with the speed of kenyans to your right, you look farther ahead and see a clearing.
  19. >You look to your left and see a wolf has caught up to you.
  20. >... Fuck
  21. >FASTER YOU IDIOTS!
  22. >Sorry sir this is the fastest we can go!
  23. >Well try to GO FASTER!
  24. >WE ARE!
  25. >You burst from the clearing and trip over a rock.
  26. >A FUCKING ROCK WILL BE THE END OF YOU!?!?
  27. >Not today nigger.
  28. >You pick up the rock and turn faster than Veteran bots on Call of Duty.
  29. >Huh?
  30. >No more wood wolves.
  31. "Well, thats a great fuckin relife.
  32. >Good thing we made it out.
  33. >Shut the fuck up Brain, you did nothing but bitch.
  34. >You did too!
  35. >Yeah, but I can do that, I AM basically all of you combined
  36. >We did the most work.
  37. >Yes, you did legs.
  38. >Hey Anon.
  39. >Yeah.
  40. >Did you notice that town when we got out?
  41. >A town?
  42. >Yes.
  43. >No I did not.
  44. >Then lets GO!
  45. >Yeah
  46. >...I'm not gonna help until we can rest.
  47. >Fine We'll crawl there.
  48. >You get about ten feet until you hear "Uhmm, What are you?".
  49. >You look around.
  50. "Who said that?"
  51. >you turn about 80 degrees and see the legs of a ...Purple Horse.
  52. >You look up to its rider...
  53. >There wasnt one.
  54. >Pic related
  55. "Uhh who said that?"
  56. >You ask again.
  57. >The next thing blows your mind, "Umm, I did, Mr. Ape-thing."
  58. >Brain?
  59. >Brain has gone out for lunch.
  60. >Well fuck you too.
  61. "Well,then where am I, Purple Horse?"
  62. >It looks mad, like you offended it.
  63. >"I am a Pony, not a horse." you could feel the venom in her words.
  64. "Look, sorry that I offended you, Pony, but where I am from, most people would call you a horse.
  65. >"Well i'm not a horse, and speaking of 'things', what ARE you?"
  66. "Im a Human."
  67. >"A what?"
  68. "Homo Sapien?"
  69. >"Umm, I didnt ask for sexual preferance but ok."
  70. >It took you a minute to register that.
  71. "OH! Nononono, I'm not a Homosexual.
  72. >"But you jus-"
  73. "Homo SAPIEN is the scientific term for humans."
  74. >"Ohhh." it looks sheepish "Sorry for that, I accidently took that the wrong way."
  75. >"So Human, my name is Twilight Sparkle"
  76. "Mine is Anonymous, but everyone calls me Anon."
  77. >You state.
  78. "Umm, not to be rude but is there someplace I can rest? Because my legs are killing me.
  79. >"Sure, you can stay in my Treebrary."
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