Pastebin launched a little side project called HostCabi.net, check it out ;-)Don't like ads? PRO users don't see any ads ;-)

The Normal Day.

By: Saint_Dane on Mar 19th, 2014  |  syntax: None  |  size: 3.52 KB  |  hits: 77  |  expires: Never
download  |  raw  |  embed  |  report abuse  |  print
Text below is selected. Please press Ctrl+C to copy to your clipboard. (⌘+C on Mac)
  1. >What the hell is going on in here?
  2. "What the fuck are you three doing in my house?"
  3. >The CMC look to you.
  4. >Scootaloo starts to run, "Cheese it, it's him!"
  5. >They scatter like cockroaches in the light.
  6. >You see that Sweetie Belle has something in her magical grasp.
  7. >She slides it into her saddlebags before you can read what it is.
  8. "What the hell did you just take!?"
  9. >They are already out the door and close to the forest when you look to them.
  10. >Looking at the pile of magazines they-
  11. >No.
  12. >They fucking didn't.
  13. >They took...
  14. >Your last Playboy magazine.
  15. >Well, the one that wasn't ruined with stains and 'other' fluids.
  16. "Those fuckers."
  17. >Donning your favorite wetsuit and ski mask, you run to intercept the little runts to their tree house.
  18. >With a impossible speed, putting healthy kenyans to shame, you run the mile to the the tree house.
  19. >Three minutes? Nice.
  20. >With the speed, you jump to the top of the tree house and you see the three run out.
  21. >"How did he get here so fast!?"
  22. >"Ahm nawt shure, but we need tah get out while we can!"
  23. >Jumping down, you grab Scootaloo by her back legs.
  24. >Doing your best Batman voice, you shout.
  25. "WHERE IS IT!?"
  26. >You attach a small cable to her legs and hold her over the edge.
  27. >She's scared out of her fucking mind.
  28. >Good.
  29. >"Applebloom has it, I swear to Celestia!"
  30. "SWEAR TO ME!"
  31. >You drop her over the edge and watch as the cable goes taut(?).
  32. >She starts to dangle there.
  33. >"Somepony, help! Please!"
  34. "Stay there."
  35. >Running the way Applebloom left, you realise she was heading towards the farm.
  36. >Getting to the farm, you get there in record time, you see her heading into the barn.
  37. "Good little rat."
  38. >Running in, you see one thing.
  39. >Applebloom shocked by what she sees.
  40. >Her brother balls deep in Applejack.
  41. "..."
  42. >"Uhh, hey Applebloom."
  43. >Mac nods to you, "Anon."
  44. "Mac, nice to see you, how, uhh, how ya doin'?"
  45. >"Was about tah blow mah load, until lil' bloom came in, then you."
  46. "Well..."
  47. >Applebloom is still scared stiff.
  48. "I'm just going to borrow her for a minute."
  49. >"Why do yah need tah do thaht?"
  50. "She has my last adult magazine."
  51. >Mac simply closes his eyes and nods.
  52. >Applejack, however, "Why did y'all take the magazine?"
  53. >"We wanted our Cutie marks ihn reading ahdult magazines."
  54. >Dragging her out, you yell.
  55. "WHERE IS IT!?"
  56. >"Last ah saw, Sweetie had it!"
  57. "You better not be lying."
  58. >Dropping her, you race towards Ponyville towards Carousel Boutique.
  59. "Time for the final boss."
  60. >Arriving at the boutique, you enter and see Rarity.
  61. >"Anon, darling, whatever are you here to do?"
  62. "Tell me where your little demon sister is, you marshmallow whore."
  63. >She looks taken back, "She's u-upstairs."
  64. >Kicking in the door, you look at the small filly.
  65. "WHERE IS IT, YOU LITTLE SHE-DEMON?"
  66. >She's scared by your yelling and flings your magazine into the air.
  67. >Doing a slow-motion jump into the air, you scream.
  68. "NOOOOO!"
  69. >"Anon, how are you making the magazine and yourself move that slow?"
  70. >Catching the magazine, you land on both of your feet, and do a little move.
  71. "I got it, you little whore. Mission accomplished."
  72. >Suddenly, Pinkie on your ear piece, "Good job, Anon, now get back to base for a good payment."
  73. "Well, seeya bitch, time for some good times."
  74. >Arriving back at your house, you place the magazine in its case and carry Pinkie up to your room.
  75. >"So, Anon, how was your day?"
  76. "Ehh, it was about the most normal day for me while living with you."
  77. >You and Pinkie then cuddled for the rest of the night.
  78. >Today was a normal day, in the life of you.
  79. >Fuckin' Anonymous.