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Sprinkles, the man-eater.

By: Saint_Dane on Mar 23rd, 2014  |  syntax: None  |  size: 1.92 KB  |  hits: 47  |  expires: Never
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  1. >You turn on the light in your basement to see...
  2. >Your pet Rabbit.
  3. >Why did you ever name him Sprinkles?
  4. >Walking up to his cage, you set a rock ontop of it, and force small bits of fish into it.
  5. "There ya go, goood Sprinkles."
  6. >Fish is his only diet.
  7. >Seeing as, you can't really feed him pieces of yourself, and you can't kill any of the ponies.
  8. >He might be sad that he can no longer eat the flesh of the living.
  9. >But, you don't give a shit.
  10. >He almost bit your fucking arm off one day.
  11. >Walking upstairs you notice your new guests.
  12. >Griffons?
  13. >"Hey, boss, its dat human we're here for."
  14. >Suddenly, up in the niggers face.
  15. "Do I know any of you pricks?"
  16. >"You don't know us, but we don't know you."
  17. "What?"
  18. >"We don't know you, and you don't know us."
  19. >I don't fucking even.
  20. "What the fuck are you trying to say, that we know nothing about each other?"
  21. >"Exactly."
  22. >Wow.
  23. "So, you came after me, not knowing anything?"
  24. >"Yep."
  25. "What if I don't want to go?"
  26. >"We use lethal force."
  27. "Why, might I ask, do you need me?"
  28. >"We need you for bargaining power against the ponies."
  29. "Ok, I just need to let my rabbit out so it can eat."
  30. >Retreating down the basement stairs, you collect the cage and Sprinkles.
  31. >Walking up the stairs again, you feign tripping and let Sprinkles out.
  32. >Right into the lead Griffon.
  33. >You watch as the rabbit tears through each of them in a splatter of blood.
  34. >Oh god, you have to clean this up later too.
  35. >As he dispatches the last one, he looks to you.
  36. >He jumps, and as your life flashes before you, you bring up the cage and trap him inside.
  37. "Well, time to bring you down stairs. Jesus Christ, i'm gonna have to put you on a diet."
  38. >He weighs about 10 pounds heavier than the last time you held him.
  39. >Setting the cage down, you look at the clock.
  40. "Fuck! I'm gonna be late for my date at the spa!"
  41. >Ehh, you'll clean those ones up later tonight.
  42. "Seeya fuckers."
  43. >With that, you leave your house head into Ponyville.
  44. "Fucking Griffons, man."
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