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Inheriting shit.

By: Saint_Dane on Feb 10th, 2014  |  syntax: None  |  size: 3.33 KB  |  hits: 95  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Day chocolate milk in Equestria.
  2. >Wake up.
  3. >Usual routine.
  4. >Eat breakfast.
  5. >Get mail.
  6. >Going back through your front door, you look at the top envelope.
  7. >Important.
  8. >You open it.
  9. >"Dear Anon," it starts, "We know you are saddened by the passing of Vermilion Periwinkle,"
  10. "Who the fuck is that?"
  11. >"but while we were reading his will, your name came up as the new owner of his mansion in south Ponyville."
  12. >There's a mansion in this town?
  13. >"We are sorry for your loss in one of your friends."
  14. >wut.
  15. >YOU GET A FUCKING MANSION!?! FOR DOING SHIT!?! SWEET!
  16. >Well, time to move into your new house.
  17. >Walking for about five minutes, you see your new house.
  18. >Holy nigger tits bat[spoiler]e[/spoiler]man, it's giant.
  19. >If it was any bigger, it would be a castle.
  20. >You'd probably name it Castle Mous if that was the case.
  21. >But it isn't, it's just a fucking giant 5-story mansion.
  22. >So you advance towards the door.
  23. >You knock on it while looking at the intricate images on the door, and around it.
  24. >Pretty weird for pony design.
  25. >A medium-sized pony answers the door.
  26. >"Ahh, Mister Anonymous! So glad to meet you, I hope the new house is to your liking?" he asks.
  27. "Well, pardon my language," you start, "but Holy shit, this place is amazing!"
  28. >"I'm glad it's to your liking, sir." he states, "We should have everything ready to move once you sign the papers."
  29. >Doing a quick once-over, for anything you could exploit, you don't notice anything out of the ordinary.
  30. "So, when will the move be done?"
  31. >You say as you sign the contract.
  32. >"But, the move is already done, sir." He says.
  33. "What comes with the house exactly?"
  34. >"Master Anonymous, the house comes with the bits he left you in his will." Wait, what?
  35. "How much bits did he leave for me?"
  36. >"About 3.4 billion bits, sir."
  37. >...
  38. >wut
  39. >So I get a mansion, and over 3 billion bits, for not knowing someone?
  40. >Sweet.
  41.  
  42. *2 WEEKS LATER*
  43.  
  44. >You snap upright, and find yourself laying across your pool table.
  45. >All you have on, is a pair of pants and one of your... curtains.
  46. >You look around, to see if there is anything else to signify what you did last night.
  47. >Pinkie is laying on your couch with... your shirt on her, its covered in vomit.
  48. >Applejack is laying across the doorway from the living room, to the kitchen.
  49. >Rainbow is...
  50. >Laying on one of the ceiling fan blades.
  51. >How is that not broken?
  52. >You see a few unknown ponies laying all around your house.
  53. >Looking to the clock, you see about 1 o'clock.
  54. >Well, now is the best time to get up...
  55. >Getting up, you try as much not to trip over the multiple ponies laying on your floor.
  56. >Opening the kitchen door fully, you walk in, being careful not to let it wake her up.
  57. >Opening the fridge... why is there a boot in here?
  58. >You don't even own boots.
  59. >Finding the half empty milk container, you pull it out and smell it.
  60. >Drugs.
  61. >Why would you make milk smell like drugs?
  62. >"Anawn, hway ah yoo up this earlee?" You hear.
  63. "Oh i'm sorry, did I wake you?"
  64. >She responds back, "Nah, ah'v ben awp fer a hwile, but ah didnt wanna git ahp."
  65. >Dumping the milk into the open pipe in the counter, you walk to the nearest fountain.
  66. >Tasting the milk, you spit it out immediately, covering the wall behind it in milk.
  67. >Well, time to flush water through the pipes again.
  68. >Hope you don't bust it like the last time.
  69.  
  70.  
  71. NOT DONE.
  72. Will be finished when I get back to it.