Hearts and Hooves day. AiE/FR Oneshot

"All i'm saying is, why does fluttershy absolutely love you to the core, and she is indifferent about me?"

>"I don't know, Mous, I don't know."

>Anon looks at you like he just remembered something important.

>"Dude, whats today?" he asks.

"Thursday, dude."

>"No, like the date."

>Your eyes open wide.

"The 14th..."

>"Isn't it Hearts and Hooves day?"

"Ohh, fuck..."

>While thinking, you remember something.

"What are you gonna do about Rainbow?"

>"I don't know, i'll be okay as long as Fluttershy doesn't have anything up her coat. Besides what are you gonna do about Pinkie?"

"At least Banana Hush won't interrupt anything if you're not involved."

>"Yeah, fuck you too. Anyways, what are you doing tomorrow? I don't have anything planned, so do you wanna go drinking?"

"Dude, tomorrow? lemme check."

>Waiting a couple of seconds, you look back to him.

"... Yeah i'm free."

>"You're an asshole."

"Only on Fridays."

 

*Two hours later*

 

>"HEY ASSHOLE! CAN COME AND YOU TIE MY TIE?!?" You hear Anon shout from his room.

>Walking into his room you say.

"I still can't believe you can't tie your own tie."

>"I never had to tie one back on earth!" he exclaims

"Were you just some fucking underclass bitch, who never had any good clothes?"

>"Hey! At least I haven't been shot in the fucking chest for a couple of dollars in a ghetto!"

"It was my last One!"

>"What were you going to buy? A fucking milky way?"

>Right on cue a mare walks out of Anons closet, and hanging between her back legs were very large breasts.

>You both look to her and simultaneously shout, "NO!"

"Why is she still in your closet?"

>"It doesn't matter! You're just a fucking idiot!

"At least I went out like a man, how did you die? Accidentally slitting your own throat while you were shaving?

>"When I was finished I was going to tie my tie! Just fucking get it over with!"

>How fucking dumb is he?

>Finishing the tie, you look at him fully.

>Charcoal suit, white undershirt, and a blood red tie.

"Your suit is no match for mine!"

>Running into the bathroom, you come out with your suit on.

>White suit, black undershirt, and a raven blue tie.

>"It's the exact opposite of my suit."

>...

"Yeah, I guess."

>Then.

>"Where are you taking Pinkie?"

"Where are you taking Rainbow?"

>Umm...

"You first."

>"You first."

"At the same time, okay?"

>"Okay."

>3... 2... 1.

"The Crown Royale."

>"The Crown Royale."

>...

>How.

"What time?"

>"7:30."

"How the fuck are you getting the same everything as me?"

>Anon looks at you, "Well, I guess we're going together, huh?"

"Kay, hey, what time is it?

>"About 6:45, should we get going now? Or should we wait till 7?"

"Is there anything that we need to do, before we leave?"

>"I don't thi- Oh wait!"

"What is it now Anon?"

>"We need to let out the 'monster' in the basement."

>Ugh, I hate that thing.

"Do we have to?"

>"Mous, it's a *almost* sentient animal."

"It could fucking murder us."

>"So? We already died once. What's going to happen now?"

"We lose everyone in our lives."

>Going outside, you and Anon approach the  exterior basement door.

>Getting on each side, you look to Anon.

"Three."

>"Two."

"One!"

>You yank open the doors and let out the horrid beast within.

>Closing the doors, you look to the beast again.

>A small white rabbit.

"I never get over how un-deadly that thing looks."

>"How do you not realise that not every cute rabbit, is a small, lovable, cuddly bunny. I mean, it bit right through someone's neck!"

"I know, I was there."

>Going back to the front yard, you notice the clock.

"Shit, we need to go get the girls if we're gonna be on-time.

>The clock reads 7:15.

>"Meet at The Crown with the girls?" Anon questions.

"Sure, see you in a bit, also, act surprised when we meet in front of the restaurant."

>"Why?"

"They'll think we planned it on purpose like that so we will be together."

>"Yeah, that's understandable, I guess."

 

*10 minutes later*

 

"So, Pinkie, how has your day been?"

>Her cheerful demeanor stays the same, "It was good, until the cake I baked had a small, toothless alligator in it. Besides that, it was pretty good."

>Hmm... I guess there is only a small amount of stuff that can change her mood.

"Well, my day has been pretty good, Anon and I had to let our 'pet' rabbit out so it can feed."

>"On what Moosey?" she asks.

>Picking her up swiftly, you hold her above your head and yell,

"It feeds on PONIES!"

>Playing along Pinkie yells, "No! Mous, why would a rabbit do that?!? It's a deadly rabbit! An oxymoron, too!"

 

*Anons POV*

 

"And all I said was, 'When did you think that my rabbit wouldn't be deadly?' and she left to go to a bar to drink away the night."

>Rainbow looks confused, "But if she knew it was deadly, why did she pick it up and try to get it to be nice?"

"I don't know what she was thinking, but I guess she learned her lesson from losing on of her hooves."

>Looking up from your favorite mare, you notice you were arriving the restaurant.

>You also notice Mous with pinkie sitting on his shoulders.

"Oh, Mous, I didn't know you and Pinkie were coming her tonight."

>"I can say the same to you too, Anon."

>"Hey Dashie! I didn't know that you and Anon were going out today!"

>"Oh, hehe, yeah, he asked me to dinner yesterday night, while we were hanging out at his place."

>Mous chimes in, "Yeah, I heard you 'discussing' when you two were in Anons room, yeah I heard you discussing all night long."

>You glare at Mous with the intensity of 1000 suns.

 

*Mous' POV*

 

>You see Anons glare and raise an eyebrow.

>He answers your silent question with, "Later."

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get going!"

>Anon looks to you, "So, you have the same restaurant and same time too? How peculiar."

>"Then lets get going, so we won't miss our reservation!" Pinkie exclaims.

>Walking into the restaurant you approach the waiter.

>Without even looking, he asks, "Two tables for two? or one table for four?"

"Two for two please."

>He looks up and guides both of your groups to their respective tables.

>The dinner goes by without a hitch, except that yours and Anons dinners were changed around.

>That was until when you and Anon brought your dates back to your house.

>Opening your front door, you immediately turn, look at Anon and state.

"Hey Anon, you might wanna go somewhere else tonight."

>"Why? What would possibly be horrib-" he is cut off by what he has seen.

>Fluttershy is laying in a heart of roses, cuddling with Anons rabbit.

"How has it not bit her head off yet?"

>"Well at least she isn't awake for this."

"... for what?"

>"I'm gonna have to yank 'Pepper' out of her grasp and throw it down to the basement."

"You've got to be fucking with us, you don't expect get out of this alive do you?"

>"I don't rea-" you cut him off.

"Fuck this."

>You take the Rapist Block, or Incognito The Kind as you call it all it is, is just a wooden Baseball bat with nails in it.

>And smash Peppers head with it.

>Taking the 'Dead' remains of Pepper, you toss them down the steps, when you see several other bunnies grab the body and pull it into the shadows.

>This wakes Fluttershy, who sits up and blushes when she sees all of you.

>"Uhmm i'll g-go now," she stops and passes Anon, "bye Anon~"

>As she leaves you yell out,

"STAY THE FUCK OUT OF OUR HOUSE YOU FUCKIN' PSYCHOPATH!"

>And slam the door.

"Well Anon I know what you won't be doing tonight."

>"What is that Mous?"

"Fucking Fluttershy."