- >O-oh my g-god.
- "I'm dying?"
- >"Yes, you have exactly 24 hours to live."
- "H-how?"
- >"To progress in the story."
- >Oh.
- >Okay.
- >Time to get drunk, call people, mug people, do drugs, and steal cars.
- >Unlock your phone.
- >Call parents.
- >No answer.
- >*beep*
- "Hey, Mom and Dad! Guess what?! I'm dying! And I don't even know why!"
- >Suddenly, black man.
- >"Yo, nigga, gimme dat fuckin' phone befo' I cut you, homie."
- >Looking up to him, you answer with one sentence.
- "What the fuck did you just fucking say to m-"
- >You're cut off by him stabbing you thirty one times in the chest.
- >Before you die, you exclaim four more words.
- "That hurts, you nigger."
- >Saying this, you die happy knowing you were able to call your murderer a nigger.
- >But suddenly!
- >Green!
- >Bright.
- >Looking up, you notice, that, well...
- >Ponies.
- >"Darling, you simply have to let me try that halo!"
- >"Hey, nice wings! Wanna race sometime?"
- >"Welcome to Equestria, your new home!"
- "R-really?"
- >Everything turns a shade of crimson.
- >Satan appears beside you.
- >"Naw, i'm jus' fuckin' wit cha."
- >Fucking Satan.
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Death. (Minimal AiE.)
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