CYOA. (Couple) Days in the life of Screwball.

>As Anon's alarm starts up, you listen to the lyrics.

>"As de fore winds blow my wits troo da door, its been da worst, day, since yesterday."

>What is this guy saying?

>Hitting the button, you walk down the stairs to the living room.

"Good morning, Anonymous."

>He looks to you, "Hey Screw, how ya holdin' up?"

>You look to him with a smile.

"It seems like i've been getting a little better each day!"

>"Well that's great to hear! You want anything to eat?"

"Some toast and jam would be good, thank you!"

>As he walks into the kitchen to make your food, you think of what needs to be done today.

>You look upon the notepad on the table, you look over its contents.

>You need to take your medicine, visit Doctor Redheart, and get some Groceries from the market.

>But, which one first though?

 

A: Medicine.

B: Doctors.

C: Groceries.

 

A was picked.

 

>Walking into the kitchen, you see Anon is just about to put the bread in the toaster.

>He gives you a questioning look, "Was there something that you forgot?" he asks.

"No I just wanted to take my medicine."

>"Oh, that Methylphenidate stuff? Are ya sure that you wanna take that before eating?"

"Yeah, i'll take them before, what's the worse that can happen?"

>He looks serious, "Sickness or even hospitalization."

"Well, when you put it like that I might as well wait."

>As soon as you finish, the toaster spits up the toast and Anon catches it on a plate.

>"What kind of jam do ya want?"

"Strawberry will be fine, thank you."

>He pulls the Strawberry jam out of the fridge and puts some on the toast with a butter knife.

>As he finishes up, he asks, "Want anything to drink?"

"Some milk would be good, please."

>As he sets the jam into the fridge he pulls out the milk and a glass.

>When he picks up the gallon, he looks at the date, "Hmm, this milk is about to expire, you still want a glass?"

"Yes please, Anon. Just because the 'sell by date' is passed, doesn't mean that it isn't still good."

>He looks down trodden, "Was just sayin'."

>You take the necessary bites for the toast and the sips for the milk.

>When you finish, you set both the plate and the glass in the sink for later.

>You approach the pills, taking out a pill, you get a glass of water from the sink and place the pill in your mouth.

>Swallowing the pill, you down the water in the cup and place that in the sink for later, too.

>Looking at the clock, it reads 10:04.

>What to do now?

 

A: Doctors.

B: Groceries.

 

B was picked.

 

>You know what? Buck the Doctor, you can visit any time later this week.

>Walking out the door, you see the mail mare Derpy making her daily rounds.

>You used to see her in the disability groups.

>She's a nice pony.

>"Hi Screwball, how're you this morning?"

"Good Derpy, how are you?"

>"With little Dinky back in school, my days have gotten alot easier."u

"That's good to hear! Anyways, I gotta get to the market for some groceries. Bye Derpy!"

>"Buh-bye Screwy!"

>Such a nice mare.

>While on your way, you spot a family of ducks walking next to you.

>You swear that duck gave you the stink-eye.

 

A: Fuck with Ducks.

B: Go to Market.

 

A was picked.

 

>That duck is going down.

>Waiting until it gets infront of a puddle, you knock each of them in, when you get the chance.

>You're about to knock in the last one by the time  you hear someone call your name.

>"Screwball, what are you doing out here?"

>You look to...

>Nothing.

>Huh, maybe the meds aren't workin-

>"No, over here!"

>You look over to Cloud Chaser.

"Oh, Hello, Cloud Chaser! I didn't expect you out here!"

>"Yeah, I wanted to take a walk and clear my mind. By the way, I was going to have a little get-together later tonight, and I wanted you and Anon to come."

>Will you go?

 

A: Go.

B: No.

C: Lie.

 

A was picked.

 

"Sure, like there was anything else that is going on out in the woods."

>"Okay! Be there at around eight o'clock." She smiles.

>Well, time to get to the market.

>Arriving at the market, you check your list.

>Bread.

>Apples.

>Oranges.

>Cider.

>Polka Dot Paint.

>Rainbow Afro.

>Most should be easy.

>Except for the Apples.

>You can never find those.

>After what seems like several hours of shopping, you have everything.

>Except the Apples.

>When you asked ponies, they would point at Applejack, with those weird red-things on her stand.

>So much for them.

>When you start heading home, you see that the time is 2 o'clock.

>Rushing home, you arrive to find Anon singing to himself.

>"- house on the hill with a red water bed, that puts Hugh Heffnor's mansion to shame, with girls by the pool and Italian sport-"

>You join in.

"Cars, i'm just here in dis dump for da game!"

>He looks to you, smiling.

>"So kiss mee! I'm shitfaced! I'm soaked, soiled, and brown. In tha trousers, she kissed me and I only bought her one round!"

>As he stops, he looks to you in a small grin, "I thought you had no idea what anyone was saying in any of the music I listened to?"

"I still don't, it's just when someponies singing in the same room, us ponies know any song like we've known it our entire lives!"

>He looks quizzical, "So, even if they had no idea, they can still sing it perfectly?"

"Yep!"

>Well, time to ask him.

"Anon, do you want to go with me to Cloud Chaser's for a get-together?"

>He starts with, "S-"

"Good! It's at 8 so be ready at around six thirty."

>"Okay, fine."

>Walking into your room, you notice your lonely bed, your closet, and your bathroom.

>What should you do to get ready?

 

A: Nap.

B: Find a dress.

C: Take a shower.

 

C was picked.

 

>You never did take a shower this morning.

>Besides, you needed a good bubble bath.

>Walking in, you close the door and turn the water on.

>When the water fills most of the tub, you find the insta-bubble bath soap.

>Dumping most of the bubble soap into the bath, you watch as the soap fills the tub in a matter of seconds.

>With the tub filled, you climb in, and lay down in the water.

>After a small bit, you see the door open.

>Anon.

>"H-hey, how ya doin', Screwball?"

"Good, Anon."

>Suddenly, you get an idea.

"Hey, Anon, why don't ya join in?"

>He looks happy at your preposition, "S-sure!"

>He starts to undress, when he gets his pants down, his member is standing at full mast, while he walks toward you.

"Ooh, Anon, I didn't know you were hard for this."

>"Babe, you know bubble baths get me rock-hard."

"Yeah, Anon, they'd get me hard too."

>As he climbs in, he starts to caress your fur, "Hey, I didn't know a pony could get so dirty~."

"Maybe i'm just a dirty mare~."

>"Maybe you need to be cleaned outside... and inside."

>You get what he's saying, and you lift your tail to him.

>He starts to move towards you, as he readies himself, you turn onto your back, and give him a better view of yourself.

>You feel his member prod and slide against your slit.

>Finally, he stops teasing and penetrates you.

>Suddenly, you jerk your head, awake.

>It was all a dream.

>A, good, warm feeling, dream.

>Getting up out of the tub, you pull the plug at the bottom and watch as the suds and 'other' fluids sink down the drain.

>Looking at the clock, you see the time is six fifteen.

>You're kind of hungry, but not enough for you to starve.

>Do you eat now?

>Or later?

 

A: Now.

B: Later.

 

B was chosen.

 

>Hmm, they'll most likely have a lot of food at the party.

>Might-as-well and wait until the party to eat.

>Walking downstairs, you see Anon sitting on the couch listening to his earbuds.

>Looking at him, you look lower and lower.

>Now, you're looking directly at his crotch.

>No, no! You need to get ready!

>Sitting up onto the couch right next to him, you lean into the couch and turn on the TV.

>Some Stallion is doing magic tricks and illusions on a stage.

>The time is now six twenty-seven.

"Anon, are you ready to leave?"

>Sensing your voice, he takes out the earbuds and answers, "Ready as i'll ever be."

>Starting the walk to the other side of ponyville, you think of what happened today.

>You were woken up by Anon's weird music.

>You got to see Derpy, and Cloud Chaser.

>You got most of the Groceries.

>Minus the Apples.I

>You and Anon had a duet.

>And finally, you had a fantasy about Anon.

>Been weird so far, only about to get weirder.

>Arriving at the house you knock at the door.

>Flitter answers it.

"Oh, hi, Flitter, are we a bit early?"

>She looks at the clock and for once, you're just before on-time.

>7:58.

>When she lets you in, the only other guest is Pinkie.

>But of course, she probably planned it.

>"Hey, Screwy! Hiya, Nonamonamous!"

>He grunts, "That's not my name."

>She responds back with, "But your name is so weird! I can make so-much combinations for it!"

>By the time she finishes, ponies arrive by the minute.

>Do you find something to eat, or do you look among the guests for ponies to be 'social' with?

 

A: Eat.

B: Socialize.

 

A was picked.

Side of B too.

 

>Well, time to eat.

>And disguise it as socializing.

>Walking towards the food table, you stop and start mild conversations with ponies on the way.

>By the time you reach the table, you've learned that.

>Bonbon doesn't like making confections, it's just what she's good with.

>Lyra 'might' be a drug dealer.

>(Might have to take her up on that.)

>Twilight wants Anon for 'research'.

>Just like the Doctor, you're gonna sod that.

>Rainbow Dash had a dream about Fluttershy.

>(Sexual I think.)

>Looking over the food, you look over the countless combinations.

>Deciding 'fuckit', you pile a bit of everything onto your plate.

>Almost a foot high and about 8 inches in diameter.

>Lots of food.

>"Geez, Screwy, got enough food?"

>Oh, it's Anon.

>With your mouth full, you ask.

"Want shum?"

>He looks uneasy at first.

>But still, "Ok, yeah, sure, I was kinda hungry."

>You split the food.

 

*Three forks and 8 glasses of water later.*

 

>When you look up from your last bite, you see anon with a grin on his face.

>When he sees you, his smile turns into a laugh.

"What?"

>"Y-you h-have pudding in y-your m-mane. *PFFT*"

>Oh.

>Looking into a mirror, you use a napkin and wipe the b-

>There's nothing there.

"Ano-"

>Anon surprises you with a kiss while your mouth is open.

>What.

>He holds you there and waits for a while.

>It was probably a bit over ten seconds.

>But it felt like hours.

>When he pulls back, he looks to you silently with a hoping expression on his face.

 

A: Accept.

B: Tell him.

C: Deny.

 

D was picked.

Ask if wasted.

 

>He's never acted like this before.

>But then again, why would he?

"Anon, tell me the truth, are you drunk?"

>He looks to you with a sincere smile, "Screwball, I have never been more sober."

>You sigh as he continues, "Also, I have been wanting to do that ever since you'd come downstairs in the morning, and tell me about the day before."

 >Hearing that, you realise he had been waiting for a couple of weeks now.

>You look to him for any lies on his face.

>"So, are you ok with this, or an I being rejected?"

>You regain your smile to say this.

"I don't know Anon, does this explain?"

>You surprise him with a kiss of your own.

>A short one, but filled with passion, nonetheless.

>You realise the music has quieted down.

>Everypony is staring at you and Anon.

>"Oh, well, I, um, y'see-"

>Seeing him struggle with an answer, you help him out.

"Well, this got kind of awkward really fast, so we're just going to go now, bye!"

>With that, you grabbed Anon, and pulled him out of the party as fast as your legs could carry you.

>Looking into the darkness, you see the path to Anon's house.

>You and Anon start the trek to his house.

>Upon arriving, you open the door and start to head upstairs.

>You both climb into bed, agreeing that you're both tired and need some sleep.

>Succumbing to the comfortable bed, you are asleep in seconds.

 

Day 2

 

>Waking up, you notice Anon hasn't woken up yet.

>Nor has his alarm gon-

>"Well, I was sittin' there, sellin' turnips on a flat-bed truck, crunchin' on a pork rine when she pul-"

>You see Anon slam his fist onto the snooze button.

>He then continues the song, "Pulled up, she had to be thinkin' this is where red-necks come from."

>He lifts his head to see you staring at him.

>"Oh, uhh, hey."

>Seeing him, seeing you, brings a smile to your face.

"Hey, Anon."

>He asks, "Well, want anything to eat?"

"Um, no i'm good, i'm gonna go out and get the mail."

>He looks quizzical.

>He shakes his head and gets up to enter the bathroom.

>Exiting the house you walk towards the mailbox and open it up.

>Nothing.

>Looking up, you see Derpy making her way towards you with a smile on her face.

>"Oh, uhh, hey Screwball!"

>She tries desperately to hide laughter.

>She knows, you think.

>But, you didn't see her at the party.

"Hey Derpy, what's so funny?"

>She suppresses her laughs again.

"It's about me and Anon, isn't it?

>She nods, and hands you, your mail.

>She starts on her way back into town.

>You look to see what is in your mail.

>Redhoof movies.

>A letter from Celestia, for Anon.

>A letter fro-

>Suddenly.

>Large lights shine up, above the town.

>Should you investigate?

>Or get Anon?

 

A: Investigate.

B: Get Anon.

 

A was picked.

 

>Deciding you and Anon aren't really together yet, you start to head towards the lights.

>Anything could be making those lights, magic, fireworks, or simple spot lights.

>While trotting, you look into the forest and see some ducks.

>For some reason, you want to kick them into puddles.

>You realise you are walking towards them.

>Fixing your course, you head towards the town.

>When you arrive, you find utter Chaos.

>Chaos.

>No...

>"Anda that! That! That! And... That!"

>Daddy is turning ponies into appliances again.

>That seems pretty funny.

>But it's wrong...

 

A: Join in.

B: Oppose.

 

B was picked.

 

"Discord, stop that!"

>"Oh, Hahaha, Screwball, haha, you need to try this, haha, it's alot of fun!"

"What? Turning my friends into household items?"

>His smile fades, and is replaced by a frown.

>"But, I thought you liked chaos, sweetie?"

"Yes, but only when it doesn't harm anypony!"

>His frown pops off his face and a smile regrows onto it.

>"But, why protect these ponies? You're technically not one of them!"

"That's not the point! They're my friends!"

>He gives a grin, "What about that Anon fellow? What about him?"

"Don't bring him into this! This is about the ponies of ponyville!"

>"You know that can change really quickly, right."

"But, you don't need to bring him into this!"

>"Why don't we ask him about it, then?"

>Discord snaps his thumb and fore finger.

>A puff of smoke appears and Anon is dropped to the ground with a frying pan in his hand.

>Looking around he sees you, "Hey, Screwy, where'd ya go?"

>Then he sees Discord.

>"Oh hey, it's mister Canterlot gardens statue, how ya doin'?"

>Daddy looks to him, smiling at Anon's demeanor, "I am doing very well at the moment, and how about you, my bipedal mate?"

>Anon looks to the frying pan and sighs, "I was making a sandwich, then, poof, i'm here and my egg is ruined."

>Discord snaps his fingers again, appearing in Anon's pan is another egg.

>Just the egg, with the shell, with everything inside of it.

>Anon looks peculiar at the egg, "Well, than-"

>The egg explodes and a small Discord comes out.

"Daddy, stop stalling!"

>He looks at you, a motorized carriage appearing underneath him.

>He starts it up and starts to ride on it.

>"But look, i'm not stalling!"

>As soon as he finishes, the carriage starts to putter out with smoke.

"It stalled."

>Anon looks between you and Daddy, shaking his head, "Okay, so what is this about?"

"Discord was turning ponies into household appliances, again!"

>"Was not."

>Suddenly a pink bowl rolls between you and Anon.

>And it starts bouncing.

>"Hey, I like chaos as much as the next guy," he starts, "But you can't be turning ponies into objects."

>Discord gains a frown, which pushes the smile off his face, "But, I thought this would be fun for me and my daughter, and one other pony in this one human town."

>Anon replies, "Did you think the ponies would like it? Because if I was turned into a couch, I wouldn't be happy."

>Suddenly, a rainbow light appears.

>"Lolnope" Daddy exclaims.

>He burst into cupcakes and party favors, and the rainbow hits nothing but the ground.

>You and Anon look to see the Elements, with everypony back to normal.

"Well... Hey."

>They look around, as to see where he went.

>Anon kneels down and whispers in your ear, "Should we help them?"

 

A: Help.

B: Home.

C: Doctors.

 

A was picked.

 

"Twilight, do you need any help finding him?"

>She looks up at you, "Yes, because we obviously need help from the daughter of the pony we're trying to catch!"

>That hurt.

>Alot.

>Anon steps up, "Hey, she's just trying to help, you don't need to be a bitch, Twilight."

>She looks hurt.

>Good.

>She looks frustrated now, "Ugh! Fine, go look somewhere that isn't here, okay?"

>Ok.

>Where to look?

 

A: Farm.

B: Everfree Forest.

C: Anon's house.

D: Other.

 

A was picked.

 

>The farm, he always liked apples.

>Among other things.

"Anon, lets try the farm!"

>He looks to you, "Well, it's worth a shot."

>You and Anon start the gallop to the farm.

>You, were galloping, Anon was doing his weird run.

>The time going there seemed like forever.

>Once you reached the soap-roads, you knew you were on the right trail.

>Then the clouds rolled in.

>Cotton candy and Chocolate milk.

>His favorite thing to do.

>Arriving at the farm, you find the house spinning in the air, and the barn was upside down.

"Dad! Where are you!?"

>His head appears next to Anon, and drifts closer to you.

>"How, in, haha, Celestia, haha, did you ever find me?"

"Wasn't hard, I knew apples were your favorite, 'farmed', food, so the best thought was to come here."

>Anon looks to you and Daddy's head, "So, this is a very friendly talk for, you know, what we're here for."

>Discord's head lowers to the ground, and his body is with it when it rises again.

>"What exactly, ARE, you here for?"

"To ask you to stop."

>"Oh? How would your mother react to that?"

"She wouldn't even care anymore! Not with how everypony's been treating her!"

>He looks saddened to hear this.

>"I should go see her sometime."

"No, not with how you're acting now!"

>His face gets serious, "And, is there a problem with how I am?"

>Anon speaks up, "Yes, there is, you need to change or you're going back to your stone prison."

>Discord snaps his lion paw's fingers.

>Roots upturn themselves and wrap themselves onto Anon's arms.

>Discord starts to dance his way out.

>Go after him?

>Or help Anon?

 

A: Discord.

B: Anon.

 

B and side of A picked.

 

>Getting Dad, later.

>Save Anon, now!

"Anon! Are you okay? Let me help you!"

>He looks to you as he tries to get his left arm free, "Help me get an arm out, I can get the other after."

>You loosen the roots enough for Anon to slip his arm out.

>Once his left arm is free, he rips his other out of the roots grip.

"Go, get the Elements! I'll go get Discord!"

>"Are you sure you can handle him?"

"Just go get them, i'll be okay! Go"

>You aren't even finished when you start running.

>You follow the shuffling in the ground and you see Daddy still doing his weird dance.

 

A: Surprise.

B: Alert him.

 

A was picked.

Side of B.

 

>Might as well try.

"WAAAAAAAGH!"

>You land on his back.

>But he melts into a liquid.,

>When you find he isn't in your hooves, you find him looking at you with disappointment.>"Oh, Screwball, didn't I ever teach you that sneaking up on a pony is a bad thing?"

"You only taught me to find chaos in the middle of order!"

>His smile turns to a frown, "I taught you to BE the chaos in the middle of order!"

>Look at you, having an argument with your father, the god of chaos.

>He's just thinking about himself.

"Why are you being so selfish?"

>His frown drops to pure shock, "Wha- wha?"

"You know what I mean! You're doing this for your own personal gain! And you don't care if you harm anypony in your way!"

>His face twists to disbelief, "I will NOT stand here and be criticized by my OWN daughter!"

>How does he not realise that he's dooming himself for the next millennia?

"Discord, stop. Do you not see that if you don't change, you'll end up in stone for the next thousand years!?"

>He just stands there, staring at you.

"Is that what you want!? To be locked away, with no interaction with your own daughter?"

>You feel like crying.

>He looks like he's about to, "I-I'm so-"

>"Discord!"

>You turn to see the Elements.

>They're already charged up.

 

A: Stop Them.

B: Let Them.

C: Other.

 

A was picked.

 

>What are they doing!?

"STOP!"

>Twilight looks to you, "Why are you saying stop? A few minutes ago, he was turning ponies into home appliances!"

"Because he told me that he'll stop! He didn't realise he was harming his daughter's friends-"

>Oh buck, you didn't mean to let that slip.

>They stop their magical rainbow beam, and they look to Daddy, "Daughter?" they say in unison.

>He looks around in a way to get out of this, "Oh, umm, you see, I, umm..."

>You hear Anon walking up, out of breath, "Like I said," he starts, "Screwball had this under control."

>You smile when you see him, like always.

>The look back to Discord, "Ya see, I was, umm, never really, umm, in, that stone imprisonment."

>What.

>"1.21 gigawats?"

>Pinkie suppresses a giggle from Anon's comment.

"What?"

>His guilt has never been higher, "Yes, I haven't been in a stone imprisonment, i've actually been in Saddle Arabia, for a couple hundred years."

>What?

>Twilight starts, "Wait until Celestia hea-"

>He cuts he off, "She knows, Twilight, she was the one who convinced me to lay low there."

>Minimally understandable.

>When you open your mouth to ask another question, he poofs away.

>Everypony, even Anon, is befuddled by this turn of events.

>So, your father was never caught in a stone prison for a millennia?

>He was just in Saddle Arabia, for that time?

>Wow, just wow.

>Your mind couldn't be even more bucked from this.

>What should you do now?

>Sleep on this subject?

>Try to help the ponies PTSD of being objects?

>Doctors?

 

A: Sleep.

B: Play Therapist.

C: Doctors.

 

A was picked.

 

>Sleep.

>Sleep sounds really good right now.

>Like, more than Anon likes to say 'fuck'.

>Whatever that means.

>When you look to Anon, he looks like he's about to ask a question, "Oh, uhh, you first."

"Okay, well, are you tired? Because, I sure am."

>Anon grins, "Sure, I was about to ask the same thing."

>When you and Anon arrive at his house, you think of everything that happened over the past few days.

>You got some groceries.

>You had a duet with Anon.

>You thought about Anon.

>You went to a party, and left early.

>Anon likes you, you like him back.

>Anon was trapped by roots, you helped him.

>You convinced a chaos god that he was being selfish.

>And that's about it.

>When you enter the house, you feel a burden wash off of you.

>Entering bed with Anon, you both fall asleep in a matter of seconds.

 

Epilogue.

 

>Walking downstairs, you see an unlikely guest, sitting on your couch.

>"Why, hello sweetie, how are you, this fine morning?"

"It's good, dad. How are you?"

>His wild smile grows, "Mine has been absolutely beautiful!"

>He then gets a serious face.

>"Look, Screwball, I wanted to say i'm extremely sorry for not being here and faking my imprisonment. I just hope you do good in life, well, as good as you can be."

>You smile at him.

"So, why did you leave, and go to Saddle Arabia?"

>"I had heard that it was nice there, this millennia."

>He grabs a hat and coat, and questions, "What species is Anon? I just wanted to know."

>You give him a suspicious glare.

"He's a human, why?"

>You see him, start to change shape.

>When he takes the coat off...

"What are you doing?"

>He looks human, but different from Anon.

>The human gives you a wild smirk, "Well, to a new area."

>He gives you a box, "Here, if you ever need me, just press the button."

>"Well, with that, I must go. I'll always love you, Screwball."

"I love you too, Dad."

>He walks out, and you hear a poof.

>Anon walks downstairs, "Hey, Screwy, who ya talkin' to?"

"Oh, they just left. They were just telling me something I wanted to know."

>"What's that?"

"Just a package, Anon, just a package."

 

Credits.

>Various Ponies.

As themselves.

>Discord.

Q.

>Anonymous Unknown.

Anon Y Mous.

>Screwball.

As herself.