The Laser Pointer

======================The Laser Pointer=============================

 

-----Ponka/BlueQuick/YellowShy-----

 

~~~Post 1~~~

>As you sit at your house with your feet up on the couch, you play with your laser pointer by drawing invisible dicks on the wall.

>A knock is heard on your door, interrupting you from your phalluscrafting.

>You get up and answer it to see Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash.

"Hey girls, what's up?"

>Pinkie bounces up to eye level with you.

>"We just wanted to come hang out with one of our super dooper looperest best friends ever!"

>How she says all of that before touching the ground, you don't know.

>You've learned not to question the Pinkie Pie.

"Alright well come on in then."

>They do and you shut the door once they are inside.

>Rainbow lays on the couch, Fluttershy sits on the chair, and Pinkie goes into your kitchen.

>As you stand there you pull out the laser pointer and aim it at the wall.

>Rainbow's head snaps to the wall as soon as it moves.

>Huh.

>She follows it with her eyes.

>"Fluttershy! Do you see that?!"

>"See what Rainbo-"

>She notices it and watches as you draw circles.

>You lower your hand to your side before Rainbow looks over.

>"You see it too, right Anon?!"

"Yeah what is that?"

>Pinkie comes up out of the fucking trashcan right next to that wall and tries to hit it.

>Quickly you move your hand up and guide it away.

>How the fuck did she even-Oh wait. That's Pinkie.

>Rainbow flies at the wall and you move it to the floor when she dual hoof punches it.

>Pinkie falls over in the trashcan trying to get it with her hooves.

>You move it up onto the couch and Rainbow watches carefully before divebombing onto it.

>When she hits the couch you move the dot to Pinkie's head.

>Rainbow jumps down to get it and headbutts with Pinkie.

>As they stay there dazed, you move it back to the wall.

 

~~~Post 2~~~

>Fluttershy flies over slowly and goes up to the dot.

>"U-Um... Hello? My name is Fluttershy. What's yours?"

>You try to contain your laughter as she speaks to a light thinking it's an animal.

>Then you move it a little bit towards her.

>She backs up.

>"I don't mean to offend you."

>You move it back and forwards a little bit more and she flies to the couch.

>"I'M SORRY!"

>Move the dot over to the couch and she scoots back.

>"NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

>She continues to scoot back until there is no more room on the couch.

>You follow her with it.

>It comes close to her crotch and she can't take it anymore.

>Her legs shake and she puts her forelegs up to cover her face.

>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

>She empties her bladder on your couch in pure terror of this dot.

>By now Rainbow has just gotten up and helped Pinkie up as well.

>She flies at the dot and smacks against the soaked with piss couch.

>"AUGH GROSS!"

>She flies up and shakes it off.

>When she notices it there again, you move it up to Fluttershy's vag.

>Then you click it off.

>"OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO!"

>Fluttershy puts her legs back down and then notices Rainbow's horrified expression.

>"W-What?"

>"Fluttershy I need you to relax when I tell you this."

>Fluttershy begins hyperventilating as sweat rolls down her face.

>"I think that it went inside of you."

>"WHAT?!"

 

~~~Post 3~~~

>Pinkie comes over.

>"NOP0NY PANIC! I'll do it!"

>"But Pinkie how are you going to-"

>Pinkie brings a hoof up to her mouth and blows on it.

>The other one grows fingers.

>Wat.

>"Don't worry Fluttershy! I'll get this thing out of you!"

>"N-NO WAIT!"

>Pinkie doesn't listen and pushes her fingered hoof onto Fluttershy's marepart.

>The raw amount of insanity you are experiencing would kill the average man.

>But you just can't contain your sides and bend forward putting your hands on your legs laughing your ass off.

>Rainbow flies over angrily.

>"Anon this isn't funny! We could have a serious problem here!"

>You don't respond because you're too busy laughing.

>Pinkie Pie pulls her hoof out of Fluttershy's vagina and looks over.

>"I couldn't find it!"

>Fluttershy is panting and blushing a bit.

>She stops when she notices the other's looks.

>Rainbow takes her by the hoof.

>"We have to get you to the hospital right away! Come on Pinkie!"

>You're now on the ground still laughing as Pinkie helps carry Fluttershy out the door with Rainbow.

>Oh god this is gonna be a fun day.

 

-----PurpleSmart-----

 

~~~Post 1~~~

>Now walking down the street with the pointer in your pocket, you stop at Twilight's tree.

>Time to have some fun.

>You creep over to the window and crack it open.

>Then do a scan of the area around you to see if anyone is watching.

>Nope, no one.

>Sweet.

>Twilight sits inside reading a book and Spike is organizing the shelves.

>You click on the pointer and aim it at Twilight's book.

>Her attention moves from the words to the dot and then you move it to the floor.

>She puts gives the book to Spike with her magic and begins to follow the dot.

>"Spike do you see this?"

>She follows it around for a while before Spike turns around.

>"Whoa what is that?"

>He walks over and bends down to see.

>You shake it and he jumps back in fear.

>Twilight, thinking it somehow pushed him, fires a blast of magic at the dot.

>It was too fast for you to see coming and you don't manage to move it.

>Her face is one of fear when the smoke clears and a smoldering hole is on the floor but the dot remains unscathed.

>She backs up as you drag it closer to her.

>She scoots Spike behind her and then shoots another blast of magic at it.

>You move it to the shelf and she fires there, turning the books there to dust.

>Then quickly move it to her feet and she jumps up higher than you thought was possible for a pony not Pinkie Pie.

>She lands across the room and you point the dot at Spike's belly.

 

~~~Post 2~~~

>He is looks at Twilight confused as to why she is staring at him with such terror in her eye.

>"Spike... Spike don't move."

>"IS IT ON ME?!"

>You shake it around and then move it to his forehead.

>"Spike! Calm down! It's on your head and I'm gonna try to get rid of it."

>"How are you gonna do that?!"

>Her horn glows.

>"Just hold still Spike."

>She fires a huge purple beam of magic at Spike.

>You click the pointer off and watch the spectacle.

>When it stops, Spike's spikes are charred and bent all the way back.

>The wall behind him has a huge hole in it from the magic that just blew through it.

>Twilight smiles at Spike, "That did the trick!"

>You point over to her chest and click it on.

>Spike looks as if he's seen a ghost the instant he looks at Twilight's chest.

>"T-Twilight..."

>"Yes Spike?"

>He points to her chest and she looks down.

>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!"

>She runs around in circles for a second and then into town screaming at the top of her lungs with Spike close behind her.

>You click it off and fall over laughing.

>God damn it can this day get any better?

 

-----MarshmallowButt-----

 

~~~Post 1~~~

>Now that you've composed yourself enough to be walking once again, you head over to Carousel Boutique to see what Rarity's reaction will be.

>You walk up to the door and knock a few times.

>The door opens and Rarity stands there with a smile.

>"Hello Anonymous! How may I help you?"

"Oh I just wanted to come for a visit to see how you were."

>"Aww how sweet of you! Come on inside then."

>You do as told and enter her abode.

>She closes the door behind you and then motions for you to move onto the couch.

>When you sit down you pull out the laser pointer and hold it in your hand behind your body so she cannot see it.

>She sits down next to you and smiles.

>"So how have you been Anonymous?"

"I've been pretty happy today actually."

>You click the laser on and begin moving it slowly.

"How about you Rarity?"

>"Oh well you know me, I always have to-"

>She stops talking and her eyes shift over to the wall.

>You turn around and see the dot now rests just above the window.

>"What in Equestria is this?"

>She stands up and is about to go over there.

>About to get in the line of sight where she can see the pointer.

>You have to do something!

>QUICK!

"NO RARITY!"

>She stops dead in her tracks staring at you.

"That's a flesh eating bug from the Everfree! You don't want to touch that!"

>When you say that you move it a little and she backs away.

>"Get it out get it out get it out!"

>Bingo.

>You move it down the wall and across the floor over to her.

>She tries to run out but you put it on the door before she gets there.

>"Anonymous don't just sit there, help me!"

 

~~~Post 2~~~

"How can I help you?!"

>"Kill it!"

>Using your brain to devise a stunning plan, you take off your shoe.

"Alright Rarity! I'm gonna get it!"

>Holding the pointer completely in a fist with your right hand, you walk towards where you are pointing it with the shoe raised high in the other.

>Then when you get close, you turn your hand to move the dot and then your body to make it seem like you're watching it.

>You begin walking over towards Rarity as you move the dot closer to her as well.

>"Anonymoouuuus!"

>She moves past a chest of jewels she has.

>You guide the dot over to the chest and both of you watch it.

"Well at least it's not multiplying."

>"IT CAN MULTIPLY?!"

"Yeah, whenever it reaches any kind of shiny thing it will duplicate nearly billions of times in a second."

>"...Anonymous."

"Yeah?"

>She points to the dot which you are slowly bringing up the chest.

>Before she can speak again, you shine it in the chest of jewels.

>The beam bounces all around them and goes everywhere in the room.

>You look down and see a few on your chest.

>Rarity looks at you and then you fall back on the couch still pointing the laser at the chest.

"AUUUGHHH THEY'RE EATING MEEE! SAVE YOURSELF! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

>"WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

>She runs out of the house screaming and into town.

>You click the pointer off and nearly shit yourself laughing to tears on her couch.

>Jesus fucking Christ this is incredible.

>Why have you not found this out sooner?

 

-----AppleHips-----

 

~~~Post 1~~~

>Now whistling a tune as you walk down to Sweet Apple Acres.

>Fuck this has been a fun day so far.

>Hopefully Applejack is just as stupid, if not, more than the other ponies.

>When you make it to the orchard you see Applejack out there bucking trees.

>Instead of trying to talk with her as you point it, you develop a plan to scare the fuck out of her.

>You stay back and click it on, the dot appearing on a tree she is about to buck.

>She is about to turn around and then stops when you move it.

>"What in tarnation?"

>She tries to touch the dot but you move it up.

>She smacks the tree once again trying to get it.

>"C'mere ya little varmint!"

>You bring it up to the leaves and then click it off, making it seem like it went into the tree.

>"What in the hay is that?!"

"I don't know!"

>She turns around shocked by your presence.

>"You saw that too?"

"Yeah! What in the world was that?"

>"Ah was hopin' you knew."

"Nope. But I did see it go up there. Want me to go take a look?"

>"How are ya gonna do that?"

>You jump up and grab a branch.

>Applejack gives a light chuckle, "Ah thought ya told us you weren't a monkey!"

"Ha ha very funny."

>You climb up into the leaves and holy shit is this thick.

>Bet she probably can't even see up here.

 

~~~Post 2~~~

>"Didja find it Anon?"

"I think so."

>You begin to do phase two.

"AAAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHH!"

>With all your might you shake the tree and a few branches snap.

>"Anon! Anon are ya okay?!"

>Using your feet you take off your shoes and drop them out of the tree.

>Then make a quite loud belch.

>Her voice sounds a little higher and scared, "A-Anon?"

>Just how you like it.

>You click on the pointer and move the dot down the tree.

>Applejack backs up.

>"N-No! You s-stay away from me!"

>She backs up and you point it closer to her.

>"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

>She takes off to a gallop back to the barn and you burst into laughter in the tree.

"Oh my god this is just too great!"

>You click the pointer off and slide back down the tree.

>Then put your shoes back on and head into town.

>Who's next?

 

-----CMC-----

 

~~~Post 1~~~

>Instead of walking back to town the way you came, you decide to take a detour through the orchard.

>Eventually you reach a tree house inside of which giggling can be heard.

>More victims?

>Peeerrrfect.

>You sneak up the ramp to the house and look inside through the window.

>Pictures of those fillies always trying to find their cutie mark are hung up around the room.

>What did they call themselves again?

>"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER HUGGING HUMANS CUTIEMARK!"

>And now you're on the ground with the three of them on your chest.

>They stop holding on to you and turn back to look at their asses.

>Nothing appears and they frown.

>Applebloom looks down at you.

>"Sorry if we hurtcha. We were just trying to get our cutie marks."

"I see that."

>Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle grab your hands with their mouths and walk back, helping you back onto your feet.

"Thank you. So what's this tree house for?"

>"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS CLUBHOUSE!"

>If that happens one more fucking time one of these ponies is gonna be blind in one eye.

"Oh really?"

>Scootaloo grabs your hand with her hoof, "Yeah! Come on inside!"

>She pulls you over to the door and opens it.

>You all walk inside and find that your head just barely brushes against the ceiling.

>Sweetie Belle calls out to you from the other side of the room, "Hey Mr. Anon!"

>You turn to see her patting a spot on the floor there with a smile.

>How could you not say yes to that adorable smile.

>Doing as she wishes, you sit down next to her.

>Scootaloo's wings are buzzing and she looks happy.

>"This is our Cutie Mark Crusaders map of the town!"

>She points to the map that has Rainbow's cloud, the town square, Carousel Boutique, and a lone apple tree.

>"It's a work in progress."

>As she continues to point to things you don't give a fuck about, you begin to devise your plan.

 

~~~Post 2~~~

>Plan starting stage one.

>You click on the pointer and shine it on Scootaloo's rump.

>Sweetie Belle jumps up, "SCOOTALOO! YOU GOT YOUR CUTIE MARK!"

>Scootaloo turns to look but you click it off.

>"That's not funny Sweetie Belle! I thought I got my cutie mark in giving tours!"

>"Oh... I'm sorry I could have sworn that I saw it."

>Applebloom adds in, "That's not very nice of ya Sweetie Belle."

>A smirk comes across your face and you click it back on but point it to Applebloom's butt.

>Sweetie Belle gasps.

>The other two look over.

>Scootaloo cocks her head a little bit and groans in annoyance, "What now?"

>"Applebloom! Your cutie mark!"

>Before the other two can look, you turn it off again.

>"OH GOSH DARNIT SWEETIE BELLE!"

>"Yeah stop it, that's totally not cool!"

>She needs to stop hanging out with Rainbow so much.

>The other two then turn away from Sweetie Belle angrily.

>"I'm sorry..."

>"Yeah sure."

>"Ah don't believe ya."

>Damn quick to turn on each other.

>You click the pointer back on and move it to Scootaloo's butt.

>Sweetie Belle looks at it but doesn't say anything.

>Alright it's time to stop fucking around.

>Move the dot to the wall the other two are facing and their attention is drawn to it.

>Sweetie Belle cries out, "That was what I saw!"

>"What in the hay is that thing?"

>"I don't know... But it looks cool! I'm gonna catch it!"

>"Not if Ah don't first!"

>Applebloom and Scootaloo both jump for it, smacking heads in the middle.

>As they sit there dazed, Sweetie Belle jumps up and tries to hit it.

 

~~~Post 3~~~

>You move it to the other wall and she falls on Scootaloo and Applebloom.

>The pile of fillies eventually straighten themselves out and look at the red dot.

>Then they huddle together, Scootaloo occasionally looking up to the dot and back.

>After mumbling to each other in a circle, they turn to face the dot which you are moving back and forth across the wall.

>They scream in unison, "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS DOT CATCHER CUTIE MARKS!"

>Scootaloo flaps her wings as hard as she can and Applebloom throws her.

>To your surprise, Scootaloo glides down to the ground.

>Well maybe it wasn't gliding.

>It actually kind of looked like falling.

>With style.

>She sits up from that tumble rubbing her mouth.

>Sweetie Belle bends down and Applebloom steps onto her back.

>"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS COOL FLIP DOT CATCHING CUTIE MARKS!"

>Wat.

>As the title would state, Sweetie Belle launches Applebloom into the air by throwing her off.

>Applebloom does a flip and faceplants right onto the wall after you move it.

>Sweetie Belle screams, "That's it!"

>You watch as she runs over to the wall and jabs her horn at the dot.

>Just then you click it off and Sweetie pierces the wall with her horn.

>"Help! Scootaloo help!"

>She finally stops rubbing her face and goes over to pull on Sweetie's legs.

>She isn't budging, and you're about to lose your shit laughing.

>When Applebloom gets up, you click the pointer back on and have it pointed right next to Sweetie on the wall.

>Sweetie notices it, "Applebloom, get it!"

>Applebloom rushes over and bucks the almighty hell out of the wall.

>Her hooves go straight through it.

>What the fuck is this made out of, styrofoam?

>You cannot contain your laughter any longer and click off the pointer to laugh.

>"Anon! What's so funny?!"

>If you could speak right now, you'd still laugh at her.

>Eventually you calm yourself enough to stand and you leave the clubhouse as the girls call out for you.

>Fuck that noise, gotta find some more ponies to have fun with.

 

---BradEnd---

 

~~~Post 1~~~

>You make it back into town and see Granny Smith walking down the street.

>Click on the pointer and aim it in front of her.

>"Anonymous."

>You turn towards the voice and see Princess Celestia herself standing in front of you.

"Oh h-hey Celestia, what's up?"

>Before you can hide the pointer, she takes it with her magic.

>"I am pretty sure you know 'What is up' Anonymous."

>She points the dot at the ground in a circle.

>"Yeah, that's what we saw!"

>Rainbow comes from behind Celestia.

>Oh shit.

>So does Pinkie helping Fluttershy walk.

>And then Twilight with a charred Spike.

>Also Rarity who glares angrily at you.

>Applejack is here too and she looks ready to charge.

>The CMC come running up, "There he is!"

>Applebloom has some bandages around her back legs and Sweetie Belle has a tiny bandage on her horn.

>They see the pointer Celestia has and you standing there in front of a crowd.

>They join the crowd.

>Well fuck.

"So... Now what?"

>"Anonymous, for terrorizing the town and the elements of harmony, I hereby sentence you to life in prison."

"...son of a bitch."

 

The end.

 

[spoiler]

>It's been a few days since you got here.

>The place isn't that bad for a prison.

>They let you do basically everything you'd be able to do regularly, just have to stay here.

>As you're sitting in your cell with your cup, you drop a rock into it.

>A tiny clink sound is heard and the pony in your cell covers her ears.

>"Damn it Anon, cut that out would ya?"

>A grin stretches across your face.

[/spoiler]

 

---GoodEnd---

 

~~~Post 1~~~

>Glancing up, your keen human eyes pick up on something moving in the dark (it's night , okay?)

"Hey, what's that?"

>"Y'ain't distactin' us anymore, Anon!"

"No, something's there, look!"

>You point upwards, but it's too dark to see

>A few ponies look up

>"Enough games, Anonymous. You must face your-"

"I'm serious! Give me back my pointer so I can-"

>"Silence. For interrupting me, you are now banished to the moon."

>Celestia begins charging a spell with her horn

>Suddenly, the thing descends low enough to see in the dim streetlights

>It's a horrible mass of tentacles and eyeballs, but doesn't make a sound

>None of the ponies have looked up yet

>Celestia's spell seems to be done charging

>"Farewell, Anonym-"

>SHLORP

>A tentacle shoots out and drags Celestia into its gaping maw

>Now they finally look up

>The ponies that didn't die of a heart attack run off screaming

>You simply stand there and watch as the abomination enjoys its meal

>It lets out an ear splitting shriek before fading into the darkness

>Oh, NOW it makes noise

>Typical

>Glancing down at your feet, you see Celestia's crown

>You sigh and pick it up

"I tried to warn you."

 

>Luna is later crowned supreme overlord empress of Equestria

>Anon goes down in history as a hero for ridding the land of its once tyrannical ruler

>Emprahs Luna dictates that Royal Guards shall now be armed with "The Light of St. Anonymous"

>Equestria achieves global military dominance

 

~~~END~~~