CultOf8

===================================The Cult Of 8==============================

 

~~~Post 1~~~

>Gathered in the town hall, you and a group of pones try to pass the time while staying out of the rain.

This.

>Grabbing your trusty magic 8 ball, you turn around to show the group of pones.

Is the Magic 8-ball. It sees all, it knows all.

>"There's no way that something like this is real, Anonymous. It's as silly as fortune telling.

>Twilight says as she turns her head away with a huff.

>Ah, a non-believer.

Why can you accept Pinkies shenanigans and not this, Twilight?

>"Because we found out that Pinkie-sense is always right! This is just ridiculous"

You shut your whore mouth.

>The purple unicorn looks up at you in anger, the rest in shock.

The Magic 8 ball is an important facet of human religion, The Cult of 8 would have your fucking head if they heard this blasphemy.

>"Y-You can't talk to me that way, I'm a Princess!"

>kneeling down and touching the 8-ball to your forehead, you begin to chant in a low ominous voice.

ravioliravioligivemetheformuoliravioliravioligivemetheformuoli Oh magic 8-ball, may this misguided heathen be bathed in the light of your wisdom and clarity. Is Twilight a fartknocker who needs to shut up and conjure me a sandwich?

>Staring down intensely as you shake the ball, you notice the group of pones backing away from you with apprehension written on their faces.

>Twilight just looks pissed.

>Your eyes snap open as you behold the divine truth of the magic 8-ball.

>"As I see it yes"

>You stand and hold the 8-ball for all to see.

>The pones gasp in awe and begin to murmur among themselves.

>"This is insane, give me that!"

>Twilight snaps at you, ripping the ball from your grasp with her magic.

>You suppress the urge to hiss and call her a groundwalker, and allow her to ask her question.

 

~~~Post 2~~~

>"Look, it just has random answers that pop up when you shake it. Let's ask something that can immediately be proven wrong."

>The pones in the background are still glancing around nervously as the purple pony princess looks up to you with a smug smile.

Ask and ye shall be enlightened.

>"I will! Is my name Twilight Sparkle?"

>You scowl and mumble at that display as she shakes the ball with her fore-hooves.

A bit unceremonious, but whatever...

>As the words appear, Twilights frown reappears and deepens.

>"Without a doubt"

>Rarity puts a hoof on her friends back and looks at her pleadingly.

>"Darling, perhaps we should just leave well enough alone..."

You would be wise to listen to this one. These are not powers to be trifled with.

>Looking down at her, you put up your hands in a pacifying gesture.

Just let it go, Twilight.

>"No! This is absolutely positively unthinkable! Alright "Magic" 8-ball, is it raining right now?"

>You roll your eyes. Such power wasted in the hooves of this ignorant pone.

>"My sources say no"

>"HAH! I told you it was all just nonsense, everypony can clearly see it's sti-"

>"Uh, Twilight...?

>"WHAT!?"

>Snapping at her brother/son/slave spike, she turns to see him pointing out the open door of the hall.

>A door being pierced by a sunbeam shining through the last drops of rain.

 

~~~Post 3~~~

BEHOLD! Ask and ye shall receive!

>The pones begin to climb over themselves to get at the sacred artifact.

>"Please, let me ask next, I have to know if Pound and Pumpkin are mine!"

>"WHAT!?"

>Ouch, but I don't blame him. No way them kids be his. Dude needs to drag her ass onto Maury.

>"No, me! Will I ever be swept off my hooves by the dashing prince I deserve?"

>I could tell you that, you prissy bitch...

>"APPLES!?"

>All noise stops as every eye in the room turns to a sheepish Applejack.

>"Er... Heh heh, sorry."

>With a raised eyebrow, you shoo her to the door.

Maybe it's best you just go...

>"Yeah... Okay...

>"Will I be rich!?"

>"Will I ever get into the Wonderbolts!?"

>"Is this an STD or do I just need to bathe more often!?

>"Oooh, oooh, me! Can I have a muffin!?"

...Yes.

>God she's cute. Best to send her on her way with a pat on the head and a smile.

>The swarm of pones descend on the panicking princess, as the doors to the doors to the hall close slam shut once more.

 

~~~Post 4~~~

>A few hours later, the door creaks open once more as Mayor Mare enters.

>She stops dead in her tracks as she sees the chaos the room has fallen into.

>"Just... What is going on here!?"

>There is red paint and ketchup thrown across the floor.

>A fire somehow got started behind the center stage.

>A few pones are having an orgy on the balconies.

>Twilight is unconscious and taped to a crucifix.

>And you're eating a magically conjured sandwich.

>The 8-ball never lies.

 

~~~END~~~