Thousand Year Sword: Part 8: Eldritch Quest

    His name is Dorkaring, it is said his father is a dragon and his mother a woman very good at yoga and very kinky. It’s said in kingdoms other than the one he was born in…or at least very quietly as Dorkaring is the prince, his mother Queen Catherine has a stable of riding dragons that she is very fond of “riding”. Dorkaring has the strength of twelve men, can run faster than any horse, and skin so thick he once ran his hand through a wooden door when he was two and didn’t feel a thing. He is not a stately prince, a man found of barbarian armor, horned helmets, and getting piss faced drunk on ale at the local taverns, or not so local. Beer, wenches, and adventure, that is his thing. Of all the riding dragons in the stable he always liked to imagine Black Buck was his father, a beast nearly the height of a horse at the shoulder, and twenty times as fast.

 

   “come ‘ere babe.” says Dorkaring drunkenly scooping up a woman who had just walked into the tavern, crushing her ample bosom against his chest.

 

   “My aren’t you a big one,” she says looking up at him with her dark blue eyes and stroking his hair chest with her hand.

 

   With a twisted smile that should have alerted him to the danger, not to mention her outfit, she says, “Telekinetic Hold.”

 

   His body is held tight in the invisible force his arm pushed back off of her. She lowers herself to the ground by floating.

 

   “Telekinetic Thrust,” she says sending him flying across the tavern smashing into a table, causing the warriors there, his drinking buddies to stand and draw their swords.

 

   “My mistake,” says Dorkaring sitting up un-phased and taking  a swig from a nearby pitcher, “looks like I mistook a witch for a wench aye?”

 

   He stands up and pops his neck in both directions, “but I reckon you don’t know who I am aye? Witch?”

 

   “Random barbarian drunkard number three thousand and ninety seven.” Sorceress crossing her arms across her black corset like top.

 

   “funny one,” says Dorkaring, “I am the great hero Dorkaring? Son of Black Buck the dragon and Queen Catherine!”

 

   The bar patrons actually gasp as the prince himself admits to the rumors.

 

  “Grandson of the hero Dorkatest,” he continues not paying attention to his surroundings,

 

“Great grandson of King Dorkamajorist who slew the demon beast Fanfukertast and tamed the wingless dragons of the plains starting the tradition of the royal family to keep those mighty beasts.”

 

   He flexes his muscles, “I am stronger than ten men easily, faster too, every woman from here to the grant Yang Yang river would give her first born and her husband to be with me for one night…no just one hour! Ha haa haaa haaa haaa!”

 

   His boisterous laughter echoes across the tavern and wakes a few patrons upstairs.

 

  “That is a lot of dorks,” says the woman as she turns to the tavern keeper, “I think perhaps I came to the wrong bar, I was looking for a certain man…quietly, a man called the Second Scion of the Hidden Arts…but instead it seems I entered a gay leather bar…guess the bear over here mistook me for a transvestite. I will take my leave now.”

 

   “huh…wha?” says Dorkaring in a drunk haze as the woman turns to leave.

 

  “Now hold one witch!” he shouts grabbing her cape.

 

  “Ouch!” he screams as blood shoots from his hand, her cape glowing and slicing his palm.

 

   She stops however as he just shakes his hand, which stops bleeding almost instantly,

“yer cape gave me a paper cut.”

 

   “Should have cleaved your hand in two,” she says, “guess the rumors the drunken prince of this land is the bastard son of a queen who fucked a dragon are true…interesting…but not my concern.”

 

   “You drew me blood,” says Dorkaring, “at least tell me yer name witch.”

 

  “If it gets you to stop calling me witch then very well…I am Rhulan…Rhulan the Sorceress.”

 

   As she walks out the door the tavern keeper walks over to Dorkaring, “my old friend,” whispers the tavern keeper, “perhaps you had too much to drink this evening, you should SLEEP it off.”

 

   Dorkaring yawns and says, “show me, me room, and fetch me three wenches to keep me warm.”

 

  “At once,” says the tavern keeper, who nods to one of the wenches.

 

    ******

 

   “You are the one seeking the Second Scion of the Hidden Arts,” whispers an attractive petite bar wench from the alley as Rhulan passes.

 

   “Are you her?” asks Rhulan.

 

   “No,” she says, “I’m his apprentice,”

 

  Rhulan looks the girl up and down narrowing her eyes, “perhaps this was a mistake,”

 

  As Rhulan walks away the girl says, “wait…my master owns the tavern,”

 

  “Not helping,” says Rhulan

 

  “He put the prince under a sleeping spell so he wouldn’t pursue you,”

 

  “Still not helping,” says Rhulan, “I owe no favors for preventing me from killing this kingdom’s prince.”

 

  “He’s not usually…”

 

  Rhulan stops, turns, and glares.

 

  “Okay, he’s always an asshole,” says the girl,

 

  Rhulan smiles slightly.

 

 

  The girl bows, “On behalf of my master the Second Scion of the Hidden Arts, I apologize for your mistreatment at my master’s place of business.”

 

  “Second Scion not pay well?” asks Rhulan.

 

 “The Hidden school is more religious than business, we have to make our own way, and my master shut down his magic shop ever since fewer adventurers have come through here. The local…hero…takes care of everything, there has been no need for spell casters or parties with them to deal with any of the monsters that appear in our lands. A portal appears, my master alerts him, he rushes in, destroys the magic core making the portal vanish, and the Dragon Riders deal with the monsters that try to escape. What little has made it out, the local authorities have been able to deal with themselves.”

 

   “Exposition aside,” says Rhulan, “I have business to discuss with your…master…” the word rolls off her tongue like snot that has been hacked back into the throat, “that must be discussed in private.”

 

   “This way please,” says the girl with a relieved expression.

 

    ******

 

   The inn keeper’s office, in reality his own room above the tavern, right next to the rooms where his patron’s sleep, including Dorkaring right in the next room with a wench in each arm and one on him like a blanket. In this cluttered office Rhulan sits in a chair, across from the inn keeper and his protégé.

 

   “May I formally introduce myself,” he says, “I am Second Scion of the Hidden Arts, Sir Tavaris the Magician, this is my protégé, Nicole.”

 

   Rhulan eyes them both, “very well, I am Rhulan the Celestial Sorceress, she who speaks with dragons, master of the dark arts that even gods fear…enough of a title or should I keep going…how about Master of Chaos Magic, Bringer of Cataclysms, Mother of Dragons, keeper of secrets beyond the veil of the abyss, and so forth and so on…anywho…you know why I am here, Xin told me she would contact you before I arrived; as you no doubt must know this already as you made contact let’s cut all this crap and get down to business.”

 

   “Such a mouth on a woman,” says Tavaris with a sneaky smile.

 

  “I am about three seconds from killing you,” says Rhulan with an icy stare, “I have wasted enough time on this task, I do not desire to waste any more, especially on some backwater mudball in the void that hasn’t even invented soap yet.”

 

   “We have soap…” whispers Nicole.

 

 

  “I…have my doubts,” says Tavaris, “the Omega Supreme Scion Xin, or as she is known around here, She who Dwells Beyond the Timeless Door, did tell me one of her kind was coming here, to look for a sorceress in a…revealing black outfit with deep blue eyes and blood red hair…but you hardly.”

 

   Rhulan begins to glow and rises off the ground, the very air around her rippling with energy making the hair on their necks stand on end, her eyes emit dark blue flames. There is a crash in the room next to them and Rhulan lowers herself before the now silent pair before her.

 

   “Xin is a goddess to your people is she not?” asks Rhulan, “to your order? She told me the other people here now regard her as some sort of faerie or demon…know this mortal I am far more powerful than Xin is…she is the seventh most powerful spell caster in all the known existence, I am…the second most powerful…you will speak to me with all the respect you give your master….understood?”

 

   Tavaris nods his head and indicates for Nicole to retrieve the scroll they set aside for this meeting.

 

   “This…Lord Rhulan…” he says taking deep breaths, “is the scroll of the unspeakable one.”

 

   It levitates from his hand into hers. She turns and vanishes, a blue flash of her outline and gone. He sits back before there is tap on the window, a tiny grey cat us tapping on the glass in code. Nicole opens the window allowing the animal in. It jumps down from the sill walks across the room to where Rhulan was and turns very sharply and alarmingly towards Tavaris, its eyes flashing gold as it morphs into a petite girl wearing an organ witch dress with black cats and black bats adorning it, and an orange witch hat with holds in the brim for her grey cat ears, and her tail coming out from a hole above the skirt part of the dress.

 

   “Omega Supreme Scion,” says Tavaris with a bow.

 

   “Wow,” says Xin with a smile, “she let you live after all…darn…lost the bet.”

 

  “m…master?’ says Tavaris.

 

  “takes balls,” says Xin, “yep, big ones to be all misogynistic towards Rhulan…oh yeah,”

 

   “Gods are different,” starts Tavaris.

 

   “Stop it right there,” says Xin, “I’m all respectful of the culture and all…but…I know two others who might be peeking in…Rhulan among them…who’d kill you in an instant if they heard that kind of thing…and I’d still have lost the bet because it happened after the meeting.”

 

   Tavaris diverts his eyes, “My apologies master, my deepest apologies,”

 

   “He’s been around these barbarians and…” begins Nicole.

 

  Tavaris *shushes* her and whispers, “don’t…no excuses.”

 

  Nicole just nods.

 

  “She wasn’t what you were expecting was she?” asks Xin offering him an opening to make an excuse.

 

  “No master,” says Tavaris.

 

  “Bet you were expecting her to be all sneaky, turn into an animal or come from the shadows.”

 

   “Yes master,” says Tavaris.

 

  “Be glad she didn’t,” says Xin with a wink, “she’d be like this huuuuuge dragon” she makes a broad gesture with her arms, “that would stomp all over the town and like pluck you up like a bug in her claw…or like the shadows would darken the sky as inky as all get out clouds with like netherworld monsters in them…”

 

   Tavaris just blinks, and Nicole turns a bit pale.

 

   “Goddess of Cataclysms and chaos,” says Xin with a slight laugh, “subtle isn’t her thing,”

 

   “and you had me give her the scroll of the unspeakable one?!” shouts Tavaris before covering his mouth, staring in disbelief that he raised his voice to the Omega Supreme Scion.

 

   “You have been here too long,” says Xin, “I’m transferring you immediately to Rivenchip effectively…right now.”

 

   She waves her arms and orange, blue, and purple star sparkles float everywhere. In a blink everything is gone, Tavaris and Nicole find the room, exactly as it was only with a different view out the window, the marble walls and three story houses of Rivenchip, and they are in the attic it seems given the view of one such house. Back in the empty room the door slams open as Dorkaring barges in.

 

   “Where’s the tavern keeper?” demands Dorkaring, “tell me at once cat witch!”

 

   He draws his sword.

 

  “You were eavesdropping,” says Xin with a giggle and pose like a school girl, “naughty little boy…bet she knew it too…better watch out or the dominatrix will give you a spanking you’ll never forget, tee hee.”

 

   He points his sword at Xin, “I heard everything, I’ll get that witch, stop whatever thing she’s got going. First one less demon in the woods Ha!”

 

   As he swings Xin just vanishes in a wave of dancing stars, he brings his sword down through the ripple, at the end of his swing he finds his sword has been transmutated into a rubber toy sword with a smiling star on the hilt.

 

   He throws the toy down, “mock me demon witch? I am Dorkaring! Son of the dragon! Hero of all of Goldonia! Greatest hero on all of Homnes! I will not be mocked!”

 

   He stomps through the hall, the other patrons pretending to be asleep despite the thunderous shouting.

 

   “Wake the hell up!” yells Dorkaring smashing his boot through a door.

 

  “Yes sir,” says one of the bar patrons with him earlier, pulling up his pants and jumping from the bed leaving a frightened prostitute behind.

 

   “Send message to the general at once!” says Dorkaring, “I want scouts everywhere looking for that woman from earlier, and any signs of that demon witch Xin, scour the forests!”

 

   “Xin is a myth,” says the messenger trying to write it all down.

 

  Dorkaring snatches up the smaller skinnier man, “I saw her…wit me own eyes not five minutes ago…that…woman from earlier was also a demon…so do what I tell ya.”

 

   “Yes sir, sorry sir,” says the messenger being let down.

 

  Dorkaring snorts, “I’ll teach those evil bitches to be evil in the lands of the great hero Dorkaring!”

 

    ******

 

    Thus Dorkaring’s quest began, and it was…weird…to say the least. The scouts could find no signs of the dark sorceress, however they did find the Timeless Door in the deep forest of Goldonia. However as legend stated, to open it requires nine magical objects, for which he had to quest.

1:   The Gem of Sirius: He rescued a child from a deep cave and the demon spider monster. The child had gone inside to rescue his lost dog. The dog was the reincarnation of a spirit that thanked him by giving him the gem…lucky.

 

2: The Gem of Blood: He found Tavaris. From him he learned the whole truth, that the founder of the Hidden Arts was Xin, that in their world were three forms of magic, the Hidden Arts founded by Xin, the evil magic spread in their world by the unspeakable one, and elemental magic introduced by the maiden of the lake. Tavaris gave Dorkaring the Blood Gem, telling him that the quest for seeking out the gems wouldn’t just gain him entry to Xin’s domain, but also require her, by her own laws of magic, to guide him to three magic items of power.

 

3: The Gem of Forging: only upon learning the alchemy to turn lead into gold via the scroll of Gold that is obtained by seducing the golden harpy (it would be defeating in a contest of strength, but he seduced her…) which he was able to do thanks to the ambrosia of the Nymphs that he got as a gift thanks to seducing the Nymph of the river Falkmii.

 

4: The Gem of Strength: He had to push the Adamantine Boulder up a winding hill to the wise dancing bear man to gain this Gem.

 

5: The Gem of Speed: He was able to race to the spirit of the plains, catching up with and beating him three times over his travels to help others with various problems like sea dragons and goblin raids on farms and something about a giant golem some dumb ass accidently awoke because he wanted world domination and didn’t read the tomb which explained why the golem was hidden away and the kingdom that used it fell.

 

6: The Gem of Wisdom: Found it in the hoard of a Hydra, again lucky.

 

7: The Gem of the Spider-Queen: he seduced the half woman, half spider *lower half…the half he had to have sex with…* by bringing her the Silken Robe of Celestia, which he was sent by the spider-queen to fetch as a trial to get the gem, but then required the great hero said to be of dragon’s blood to fuck her.

 

8: The Dragon’s Gem: turns out his own mother had this one…and he had the option to seduce her…and he did, got her totally drunk, she claimed he was adopted, the son of a peasant girl named Nicole who she had caught having sex with Black Buck the dragon. However her words were mixed up, and he suspected she might be lying to him for her own depravity. So he tricked her and lead her into the stables in her drunken state where he lead her into Black Buck’s stable. The next day she came out disheveled, and Black Buck spoke, he didn’t know the dragon could speak, and it told him he was his father and Catherine his mother, for choosing the less evil of the two options he gave Dorkaring the dragon’s gem; which was inside the dragon and spit out.

 

9: The Moon Gem: The mighty Moon Gem, said to grant power over the tides and time its self to some degree was split in two long ago. Half swallowed by the immortal catfish of Dangora Swamp. After many tries fishing and catching ever larger fish somehow, Dorkaring was able to reel up the catfish, defeat it in battle, as the fish could also levitate, and get the gem from its gut. The second half of the gem was kept by the Rabbit spirit, and he had to venture to a cold land, defeat a mechanical god the locals were worshiping created by a man who claimed to be from another world. The Rabbit spirit, some kind of immortal bunny girl was being held prisoner in a sleeping chamber by the stranger from beyond the moon. Dorkaring freed her, but she also required being seduced to give up her half of the gem, which was a promise of marriage among her tribe.

 

 

And thus Dorkaring after many quests, many very strange quests that killed A LOT of time, one might dare say, padded out the paper thin plot which had no real development from the time of the bar to this point as all these quests just showed how much of a bad-ass he was, and honestly none of them needed to be done in any particular order and he mostly found them either by accident or asking around about magic gems to the Timeless Door; and damn were random people knowledgeable about what should be esoteric lore.

 

    ******

 

    Deep in the emerald forest, where winter never reaches and the high heat of summer is but a rumor, there the Timeless Gate is found. Beyond the lake of the spectral dragon, beyond the nameless graveyard home to the venomous undead; there in a great circular meadow surrounded by the glowing flowers stands the Timeless Gate, not unlike a tombstone for some forgotten deity of the ancient world. Along the edges of the door frame are nine slots, each a clear place for one of the gems. Dorkaring places the gems and stands back as the door slides open. The stone double doors slide sideways in an impossible manner, vanishing into the frame, a light within briefly blinding Dorkaring. Beyond the Timeless Gate he can see another meadow, and a hill in the distance. He steps around the gate, there is no hill, and the gate is but a stone slab on its back. Yet there is no indication of a portal, or a descend, it is if he is looking through a clear archway and nothing more.

 

   Dorkaring steps through, sword drawn prepared for anything. He thought at least the gate would close behind him; yet it remains open. Like a mirage something appears at the top of the hill; a table, on either side of which sits two women. On his right side is a petite woman in a strange orange witch costume with cat ears and a tail; a woman he saw before, Xin. On his left side is a woman he’s never seen before, a bosom woman in a flowing green dress with living flowers growing along the hem, and long green hair. Both women drink their tea and chat in the language of birds.

 

  Dorkaring stands before them, “Stand and fight demon!” he demands.

 

  “She is no demon,” says the green haired woman, “she is my pet,”

 

  With that Xin transforms into a small grey cat and leaps into the woman’s lap.

  Dorkaring turns his blade to her, “who are you, some foul witch as well?”

 

 

  “Brave hero, I am Misaline, the goddess forgotten in this day. By being here you have passed my tests and proven yourself worthy of holding the great sword Exgladius to save this unfortunate world.”

 

   “Tests?” asks Dorkaring.

 

  “Yes,” says Misaline, “you and I have met before, however you wouldn’t know it. I have appeared before you many times along your journey in many forms. I guided you to the location of each of the gems, towards those adventures proving your skill, wisdom, and valor.”

 

   “A test…” says Dorkaring drooping his sword slightly thanks to his confusion.

 

  “To prove you are worthy to save the world.”

 

  He sheaths his blade, “but of course, I am the mighty Dorkaring, ha haa haaa haaaa! So Tavaris spoke the truth, Xin was not evil, but he said that other woman wanted something really evil.”

 

   “Indeed,” says Misaline projecting an image above her, “the scroll of the unspeakable one. She is a dark goddess who wishes to awaken an ancient evil sealed beyond the Gate of Goldra, the golden dragon who sealed the unspeakable one in the mountain of Goldra long ago before mankind was born upon this world.”

 

   Dorkaring crosses his arms and nods with a wide smile, “yep, and Dorkaring the hero is the only one that can stop it.”

 

   “Indeed,” says Misaline, “to do so, now that you have proven yourself with the nine gems, you have the power granted upon you the gems to wield Exgladius.”

 

  Dorkaring looks around, “okay, where is it? Gimme the sword and I’ll go slay your evil goddess and her pet…unspeakable thing…”

 

   “The sword,” says Misaline, “is held by the maiden of the Crystal Lake, you must go there, the spirit of the nine gems is within you now, this will be the proof of royalty she needs to grant you the sword.”

 

   “What?” says Dorkaring, “but didn’t you say I proved myself, and here and…”

 

  “The legend is lost,” says Misaline, “the ancient legend, that was ancient in your ancestor’s ancestor’s time. The Quest of the Nine Gems, to open the Timeless Door, into the land where the Crystal Lake lies to gain the sword which only the true king, ruler of all the land may wield.”

 

   “Oh…so…here right?” asks Dorkaring.

 

  “Upon the death of the king the nine gems would be reborn across the land, and the sword would return to the Crystal Lake…eventually the people stopped the trials for king…mainly due to the royal family being overthrown between (true kings). As with the sword none may question the rule, a law in your very biology that holds true even today, and is the key to unlock the stone temple in which the dark goddess lies in the Goldra mountains.”

 

   Dorkaring nods, “okay, I get the sword, I open the temple, fight this witch goddess, and become king of everything…I like it!”

 

   He actually gives a big thumbs up, “okay, so where’s this Crystal Lake?”

 

  Misaline points north, “travel North from here for two days and the lake will appear before you then. Think of it as another test, one of patience.”

 

   Dorkaring shrugs and heads off to the north. As he walks away Xin leaps from Misaline’s arms and turns back to her humanoid form and sits at the table. When Dorkaring is out of sight a figure emerges from the shadows; Rhulan.

 

   “Seriously,” says Rhulan, “and why again couldn’t I have just collected those gems myself and gotten the sword?”

 

   “Remember,” says Misaline, “the gems were designed to move away from any strong magic. The king was supposed to be one of pure human heritage, as the Ancient Dragon decreed…and the Lady of the Crystal Lake would never hand the sword over to a magical being of any kind, she wouldn’t even appear if one of us got close to that lake, so no chance of seducing or bargaining with her…or would you like to test the magic of Ancient Dragons with celestial governance again?”

 

   Rhulan crosses her arms and smiles, “someday I very well will.”

 

    ******

 

    Thus Dorkaring adventures for two days across the Timeless Plains, the tranquil scene is not without monsters for him to fight however; strange light based ethereal guardians. Prior to reaching the Crystal Lake he comes across a strange town of pointed eared people surprised to see an outsider. When asked they know nothing about any Xin, Misaline, or Rhulan, the Crystal Lake however is another story. He learns that there are two more tasks to be done to gain the sword Exgladius; he must first defeat the Crystal Serpent, guardian of the maiden of the lake, and then he must gain the maiden’s favor, without being tricked by her and drowned; taking a gift for her, a Blue Apple, and a Fire Rose as offering will prevent her from drowning him. These are two more tasks in themselves. The Blue Apples are guarded by Wrath Hawks, intelligent as humans, but many times more aggressive, and the blue dragon Fanfnir that is chained to the tree of the Blue Apples. The second task the Fire Rose, seemingly harmless looking flowers with fire like patterns on them and said to never wilt so long as either flames or water are present. He must brave combat against the Venus Guardians, walking rose petal headed fire spitting thorn vines for bodies plant monsters that travel about the Briar Labyrinth, the center of which is where the Fire Rose bush can be found. He is informed to avoid the mansion on the far end of the labyrinth, the paths to which can only be found from the center of the maze.

 

   Dorkaring first adventures to the Blue Apples, with his might and new found powers from the gems still in his body he is able to best the Wrath Hawks and defeat Fanfnir the blue dragon. Then he challenges the maze, it is a greater task of wisdom than he thought as crystal rods can change the paths, moving the briar walls, as well as raise and lower stones and change water ways. The Venus Guardians are not the only threat, as giant wasps with venomous stingers, and odd rolling stone mole/armadillo monsters have taken up residence in the maze as well. The atmosphere of the maze is grimmer than one expects from a rose bush based maze as the skeletons of those who failed can be found, signs left behind by past individuals seeking the Fire Roses. He reaches the center and gains the Fire Rose; however the mansion catches his eyes, and he decides to head for it despite the warnings not to. Upon reach the mansion, he finds a barrier over the door, odd giggling sounds can be heard from within, but none of his power can break the seal on the mansion. He vows to return once he has the sword.

 

    Dorkaring returns to the village and rests, he hates the fact that there are no wenches for him here, these “Elves” as they call themselves look down on him apparently and act very high class. They tell him a prince among humans is no better than a beggar among rats in their world until they have proven themselves. He heads out the next day to the Crystal Lake. It is a beauty among beauties; the water if not for rippling he would think was a giant blue gemstone. The beauty of the scenery is cut short as the serpent appears. Its body looks to be made of the water its self, yet has a rigidness to it like living crystal. The beast is some horrific cross between an eel and a snake with a touch of dragon in it. The battle is long and hard, yet with a mighty stroke the monster vanishes, turning into water like a burst bubble.

 

   Then she appears, the maiden of the Crystal Lake. Her skin is smooth and pale, her body lithe and impossibly gorgeous, a white robe wrapped around her in such a way that she might as well be naked. Her blue hair and eyes are dead matches for the water, that she rises from as though floating free from it, dry, and now walking upon the surface towards him. He did not notice the water by his feet snake up on him as he watched the maiden, he did not feel it wrap around his feet and up his body, pinning him, until she is right up on him, her breasts rubbing into his chest as the water snakes under her and rises her up to his eye level. Her eyes glow and she put her finger to his lips and smiles.

 

   “Oh,” she says, her one word like honey to his ears, his eyes glazed over, enchanted by this woman.

 

   Her water pulls free from his pockets the Blue Apple, and the Fire Rose.

 

 

  “You brought me gifts,” she releases him, from the water, yet he remains enchanted as she lowers down and takes him by the hand. She bids him to follow her; she steps backwards onto the lake, Dorkaring follow, her magic guiding him on the water as well. In the center of the lake a round island rises up, in the center of which is a bed. She guides him to it and sits him down. She ever so gently pushes him down with her hand while stroking his chest hair. The water creeps up like serpents from the lake, onto the bed and wraps around his wrists and ankles. It transforms into blue crystal chains tying him to the bed. Her sheet like robe falls from her body revealing her full beauty. His pants are literally ripped from his body, allowing his nine inch member its full freedom to stand proud. Crawling on the bed she lowers her head to his crotch, in his blurred vision he can only see her tight ass cheeks, but he can feel her tongue as it extends from her mouth in an impossible for a human manner and wraps around his cock, stroking him in a way he has never felt before, her tongue flat and forked at the end. As her tongue undulates around his shaft it extends even further the sliding and undulation almost more than he can bare. The tip of her tongue comes back and snakes into his prick’s hole, plugging it. As her tongue continues to stroke him she gets up on her knees, somehow even more tongue coming from her mouth, now snaked down her body, going over her right tit, teasing herself and him.

 

   She straddles the hero, taking his shaft and her own tongue into her snatch. As she rides him, she uncurls her tongue pulling it free from both of them, rolling slowly back up her body. Back in her mouth, she licks her lips with a now human like tongue. Her eyes are pure lust as she rides him with such ferocity that he could swear the earth was literally moving beneath, as though the entire island were getting in on the action; not an impossible scenario. It is not long before he can take no more of it and explodes inside her.

 

    As he goes soft, still inside her, his mind starts to unfuzz and realize he is chained up. No sooner however does he begin in a just waking from a dream manner think of this than she leans over and pops her tit in his mouth. Obligingly he suckles, surprised when milk shoots down his throat. The taste is beyond anything he could imagine, a flavor beyond flavors, he teases her nipple with his tongue and teeth hoping to get more from her, earning a *coo* to escape her lips. His mind fuzzes over again, and his stamina returns, and prick goes hard again. Once more she rides him, he hears her whisper between her moans, “yes, breed me, give me daughters and sons, our children will be strong…”

 

   His next barely alert moment finds him still there, her thrusting on top of him, as though she were the man and him the wench, he can feel her tightening on his prick, painfully. Her long tongue has snaked up to the tree overlooking the bed and pulled down some berries. She feeds them into his mouth with her tongue, teasing every inch of his tongue as she feeds him. In a hiss like voice, and he could swear her pupils shift to snake like when she talks, “I can taste dragon inside you…I am never letting you go.”

 

    He does not know for how long this continues, his mind is a blur, he does feel strange magic being fed into his limbs by the chains keeping his muscles strong, maybe stronger than before as the pain he felt before does not return. She is making him stronger to be a better lover for her. He is there long enough to notice that the tree glows, causing him to lose track of day and night, but how long has it been until he noticed that? How often does she ride him? It is almost as if every waking moment is her riding his dick dry, feeding him berries, or making him drink from her ample lactating bosoms. She only briefly leaves him alone, during one such prolonged period his mind became clear enough to contemplate trying to escape. But that was short lived as she returned and engulfed his prick with a mind blowing blowjob in which she wrapped his dick up in a vibrating and undulating tongue cocoon and sucked on the tip with a gentle nip around the top, her lips teasing the head.

 

   Then it happened, while in a daze he swears while she is riding him a hand wraps around the maiden’s throat yanking her from him. He could not look up, but he could fear thunderous roars and felt a terrible wind blow across the island, if the bed were not magical, as well as the shackles he believes he would have blown clear of the lake. Then there is a strange silence, followed by a pair of loud pleasure filled female moans, one of which he knows to be the maiden.

 

   When he next awakes, he is really awake. His mind is clear and he is standing on the edge of the lake, fully clothed, no sign of any island. Before him is the maiden and an alter made of water holding a magnificent shimmering blade.

 

  “King of kings,” says the maiden, “you have proven your worth, here is your prize, Exgladius, the legendary blade. Now take it and do not look back.”

 

  He takes the sword and heads away, her words of not to look back catch his attention, her begins to turn, catching the glimpse of the end of a blue jewel like scaled tail with a red tuft on the end just as he feels a prick in his neck and loses consciousness.

 

   He awaken to a marvelous sensation, a tongue, a normal…well a little long…but not flat or forked or prehensile at any rate, licking up and down his shaft. He opens his eyes only a crack, realizing he is leaned up against a tree with his pants around his ankles and the sword stabbed into the ground just out of reach. Not that he’d want to before there between the cracks of his eyes is a long haired blond elf chick with much longer ears than the ones from the village. She is holding his prick in one hand as it grows and licking up the shaft, she moans, “juices from the dragoness…yes, delicious.”

 

   She grabs his shaft and stares at his engorged member, “she said you had dragon’s blood in your veins…juices of a dragoness…fluids of her dragon lover…the power I’ll gain,” she smiles and engulfs his cock in her mouth.

 

   She is not tender like the maiden was, she sucks on his cock like she was trying to pull a melon through a keyhole, her hand runs up and down forcing him to cum as quickly as possible.

 

  As he explodes into her mouth, and she is quick to swallow with a slightly disgusted expression he can’t help but say, “damn”

 

   She looks him in his eyes, as he looks down in hers. Before he can do or say anything she vanishes like a ghost. As he pulls his pants up and retrieves his new sword…wandering briefly what happened to his old sword, he says, “what was that about…wait…dragoness?” he remembers the scales briefly and the words he could make out when even partially alert.

 

   He shakes his head, realizing he is halfway between the lake and the village and thinks better of going back to the lake, even if the thought of doing so makes his dick jump remembering things he doesn’t.

   

    ******

 

    The villagers are not kind, but they are not as mean as before. More less snooty some supposes. However, rather than returning south Dorkaring remembers something and heads back to the Briar Maze. He defeats the monsters along the way, despite his personality he has a great memory. He comes once more to the door of the mansion, and touches his new sword Exgladius to the barrier, it snaps and vanishes. Something pink catches his eye, from behind a well-trimmed bush beneath a window to his right. A pink mist comes over him and into his eyes.

 

     He sees a woman, the most attractive woman he has ever seen come out from behind the bushes, wearing a pink see through gown. Without a word she walks over to him and rubs her silky soft smooth hands cupped together over his chest and body, she rips his belt off and begins to pull his pants apart. He lowers himself down and lies on his back on the yellow stone walkway. She crouches over him, running her silky smooth hands still cupped together over his face, down his body, and wraps them around his mighty phallus. In a blink of his eyes her hands are replaced with her mouth sucking him off, she is leaning over him like some bird drinking water. In another blink she is lowering her womanhood onto him, taking his member in her strangly pulsating womanhood, and leaning over, running her hands up and down his body, somehow all at once but his dazed out mind doesn’t care. She leans over him and teases his lower lip with her teeth. He opens his mouth and she slips her tongue inside. She is drooling from her tongue as he kisses her, not noticing he is somehow stuck to the ground, and she isn’t even moving as he pussy pumps his dick on its own like a second strange mouth wrapped around him in its warm wetness. He feels a slight sting above his dick below his abs, and an odd warm wet flap cascade over his balls as he passes out completely.

 

-what is really happening-

 

   The sweet aroma overtakes his senses, he sees a woman in pink, the reality is it is a Venus Guardian, a mostly hidden stem wrapped around by thorn covered vines as thick as a woman’s arms. This one however instead of a red blossom closed up in a cone shape, has a pink one, and it is spewing out its sweet aroma. The roughly four foot tall when moving plant comes over to him. Its soft blossom *kissing* along his body, taking in his scent. The blossom moves up and down, it stops at his pants. By instinct it goes for the part that will ensure its illusion is complete, finding an inorganic barrier it rips through it (the belt and pants). Dorkaring obliges the plant and gets on the hard ground as it gently pushes against him with its blossom and vines. While on his back the plant coils its blossom around his member teasing it, preparing its vines that are stretching out to strike their deadly blow. Deep inside the blossom at the stem the toothy round maw starts to drool, the digestive juices stream down, weak digestive juices simulating human saliva to keep the victim in the trance till it is far too late. Something changes however; normally it would open up its blossom and go for the head (actual head, not dick head), enveloping it to close off air while biting and spitting its stronger digestive juices into the victim’s face. Perhaps it’s the thorns finding it hard to break his skin, or some scent that came from his pre-cum contacting the plant’s saliva, or a scent coming off his body or its behavior has been in this mode rather than feeding from the start.

 

   This Venus Guardian stops and raises its blossom skyward and repositions its self. It extends out its vines, exposing the stem, the vines wrap around his legs, arms, and waist. The plant hovers over his groin, a round pulsating wet orifice opens up at the base of the stem. It lowers it onto his dick, engulfing his member in its inviting warmness, pulsating goodness, and slick wetness. From a pouch like orifice on what is apparently the front of the plant new vines emerge, smooth one that unravel and inflate over his torso, growing broad leaves as they go. It stops short of his mouth, two little hooks paw at his lower lip, he opens his mouth. Two broad leaves grow out and cover his face as a tube extends from the vine into his mouth. He licks at the tube, believing he is kissing the woman, the plant actually shudders in pleasure at the unexpected treatment of the tube. It drips a fluid into his mouth. He doesn’t see it as the plant extends out a mucus, spider web patterned membrane from its sexual orifice over his testicles and lower body that adheres to him like glue and sticks his body and the stone beneath them. Two needle like hooks come out the front and stab into his pubic mound.

 

    Vines and leaves grow out from the plant, covering his body, leaves being used mainly to cover but not smother his face. The vines around his body break into the ground around them, easily splitting up stone as they turn into roots. The blossom opens up fully and extends three white and yellow stalks from its mouth that curl at the tip. Over the next few hours some of the vines change, growing small toothy cup mouths on their ends that grab at and devour small animals that come too close. Dorkaring is not still however, looking on one could see sporadic spasms as if he were trying to free himself. The plant also spasms, as it apparently enjoys his moments, its sexual orifice actually speeding up its pumping suction during these moments. The truth is the plant’s juices are feeding him and it is producing a special enzyme that it is pumping into him via the hooks that stimulates muscular activity so its mate doesn’t atrophy and die beneath it. The one part that Dorkaring wasn’t awake for, that might have broken the spell was the roots coming up between his legs, emitting a slick liquid and pegging him in his ass hole. This is the plant consuming his fecal matter, as the plant is not only eating for its self, but at times the fluid drip becomes a protein paste and there will be waste.

 

   However as the day goes on, the plant starts to pump the rectal tube at times, learning that the pressure on his prostate makes him cum harder. All this in a manner of hours, Dorkaring is in a dream, a dream about a woman riding him, her friends holding him down, and a part he tries to fight at first the girl bringing a shemale friend over who levitates him and fucks him in the ass while the first girl magically rides him, or he is on the edge of a bed; dreams don’t have to be realistic to be accepted by the brain.

 

   Days go by, the plant feeding, protecting, and constantly mating with him. It stops ever so often, but his flaccid penis stays inside the plant, whose manipulations once he is replenished get him going again. Only at night does it not do any pulsating or pumping, instead in feed mode while the blossom closes up. After a few days the three stems bud and tiny feathered seeds emerge that fly off in the wind.

 

   From a window in the mansion Rhulan pulls back a curtain, “I have to admit…I have the weirdest turn on right now…”

 

    A purple haired living mannequin wearing a sexy maid uniform that does pretty much nothing to contain its giant soft tits walks over, “engulfing,” she says, “a fetish rare, but beautiful in its own way. If I may madam I will get you off before you get to work.”

 

   Rhulan smiles, “Do as you wish Maria.”

 

   Maria the living doll gets down on her knees and licks at Rhulan’s shadow cloth

covered crotch. The material spreads out on its own exposing Rhulan’s swollen clit. Maria takes it fully in her mouth and sucks on it, before slipping her tongue inside. Rhulan reaches for her own tits when another identical living doll appears and teases her tits for her. A third appears and takes Rhulan’s other tit in her mouth, circling the aureole and nipping on the tit as she massages the full body of the breast.

 

   “Oh my…” moans Rhulan, as the three guide her back to the bed in the room, giggling as they all jump into the bed with her. Rhulan’s shadow cloth fully retreats, as does her cape into the magical space she uses to hold it all.  The three living dolls are insatiable, nipping, licking, sucking, Rhulan’s entire body, literally, toes sucked, fingers sucked, armpit…weird as that is, earlobes, and especially her breasts, abdomen, and twat, like some super cat bath deluxe orgy. When it is all over, the three, one on each side and the third lying ontop of her say in unison, “see, being engulfed is sexy.”

 

    Rhulan smiles and says, “my turn, I’ll show you how insatiable my appetite is.” The three *squee* together on the bed as Rhulan gets up and smiles over them.

 

     ******

 

    “How many monster broods does this guy plan to make,” comes a woman’s voice.

 

   When Dorkaring opens his eyes, the woman he dream of his gone. The ground around him is torn all the hell though, full of holes, some bushes thrashed, small decorative trees smashed in half. He stands up confused, especially as he once again is wearing new pants. He walks over the door of the mansion and finds a note on the door that reads in his language [Get back to your mission you horndog, I’d say your “fucking” mission to emphasize it, but then you might try to screw the statues next.]

 

    He reaches for the sign, but finds the barrier in the way. He draws the sword Exgladius, but upon touching the barrier there is a flash of light and he finds himself standing on top of the hill that was about two days walk away. There is a table there and sitting there is a bosom Misaline.

 

   Dorkaring looks around, “what happened?” he asks.

 

  “Congratulations,” says Misaline, “you will now be the proud father of a brood of about twenty baby dragons, and oh about twenty thousand Snap Drakons, a deadly plant monster that is a hybrid of a Venus Guardian and dragons, usually riding dragons, the kind your mother fucked to make you. That’s right while here in the Timeless Land you fucked a dragon for about three weeks, and then fucked a fucking flower for about five days.”

 

   Dorkaring is about to say something, however Misaline continues, “remember those flowers you fought in the Briar Maze in front of the mansion that you can’t enter? Well those are called Venus Guardians, and they come in a variety of colors, the pink ones…that’s right…pink ones…give off a sweet aroma that makes animals think they see, smell, and touch an attractive member of their own species…sometimes multiple ones at a time, but that’s your brain correcting for all the vines. Normally a soft and squishy weak human would have been just been eaten; but no, not you, that dragon’s blood in your veins and strong body made you an attractive mate to it, not unlike some elves that go there for a quick pleasure now and again as the plant lets you go once its mating cycle is over. Oh but it wanted to make multiple cycles with you, might have kept you during the whole mating season with how strong your body is. Just be glad you weren’t a woman, they get weird with the tentacles and do this weird genetic parasitism thing to get what they need that you couldn’t possibly understand, but they don’t need to do with men as men produce millions of sperm cells.”

 

   Dorkaring just says, “what?”

 

   “Right,” says Misaline, “dumb as a rock, and your society doesn’t know about cells yet anyway. Long story short, you got the gems, their power, the sword…fucked some monsters along the way like a perverted freak, and now I’m kicking you out of here so you can get back to your actual quest.”

 

    “weeks and days…” says Dorkaring.

 

 

 

   “Oh for…” starts Misaline, “this is the Timeless Land, its timeline isn’t even connected to yours, to avoid a paradox overlap, when you leave only about ten seconds will have passed in your world. Sooo, bye.”

 

   There is another flash, but this time he is flying from the gate and lands on his face, and the sword appears a moment later in front of him and falls down sticking into the ground.

 

   He looks around and pops his neck before picking up the sword, “right…the quest. “ He raises Exgladius to the sky,  “ To slay the witch goddess, save the world.” He smiles and whispers, “and become king of the world.”  

 

     The Timeless Gate closes behind him, there are no notches for gems this time. Inside on the hill, Misaline’s form shimmers like a mirage to reveal Rhulan.

 

   The real Misaline appears, “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, buuuut….you didn’t get my cutesy demeaner down.”

 

   “My apologies,” says Rhulan, “for that, and tearing up your yard to get that frippin plant off him, damn thing was going to hold him down all breeding season…or until he died. My patience is limited….more so with a goal right in front of me…damn man, going to have to keep an eye on him, he might get side tracked and decide to start his own house of hero babies.”

 

    Misaline laughs as Rhulan crosses her arms and smiles trying not to.

 

    ******

 

    Thus Dorkaring returned to his all-important quest, at least until he reached the next town where he decided to party with wenches and seek out a thief that had been stealing undergarments from clothes lines. Turned out to be a dwarf martial artist with a thing for explosives, from whom Dorkaring learned a recipe for a great explosive. The Dorkaring returned to his quest, but after a side trip where he fell a great stone tree with one chop to make a bridge across a dangerous river for a local farmer and his family to reach some herbs to cultivate he decided to go try out his sword on some odd jobs from the adventurer’s guild and bounty postings. He slew a Mushdoom that was on the rampage outside a village, stopped a rampaging magically mutated bull, caught a few thieves, stopped a bandit gang, and was sent on a task by a farmer to save his daughter who had been taken away in the night by a Slug Maiden.

 

    Dorkaring sneaks up on the cave of the Slug Maiden, inside he can hear a woman moaning in ecstasy. His mind turns to images of a young maiden being eaten out by a slug maiden, a monster he had only ever before seen pictures of. A creature with a slug like bottom only lime green and more slime like than slug, with a woman’s torso above and thin tendrils for hair. He sneaks up to a window like opening in the cave wall and crawls into see, what he sees makes his mouth drop. Indeed there is a brunette farm girl, stripped of her clothing, writhing on the ground moaning, except the lower half of her body is down the impossibly stretch mouth of the slug maiden. Her human top side is no bigger than a normal human woman, parts seen stretching with the other woman down her throat, with a giant slug body behind as if the human part were entirely just the head. The farmer’s daughter is pawing at the dirt of the cave floor, her face flush red, as she moans in pure pleasure, the lips of the slug maiden wrapped around her waist now and working their way up in seems.

 

   Dorkaring leaps down from the window and draws his sword, “release her now monster!”

 

   The girl moans, “she…she’s not…ooooohhhh…mmmm.”  

 

  The Slug Maiden rears up, a loud surprised moan escaping the girl as she is lifted high into the air; a long blue slimy tentacle of a tongue juts out from the Slug Maiden’s extended slime like jaw. It wraps around the girl’s waist pinning her arms to her sides, goes up between the breasts. It bends towards Dorkaring revealing the cone like head of the tongue has a mouth like opening and *hisses at him*. The girl opens her mouth and the tentacle shoots into it. In this same instant the girl is slurped down the Slug Maiden’s throat.

 

   “Demon!” yells out Dorkaring.

 

   “Not so fast,” says the Slug Maiden, “don’t you know Slug Maiden’s explode when killed? Kill me and the girl dies too.”

 

   “You just ate her,” says Dorkaring.

 

  “She is stored,” says the Slug Maiden, “kept alive and well, I am feeding her air…but if you really want her back I might be persuaded to oblige.”

 

   She smiles seductively at Dorkaring.

 

  “What do you want?”

 

  “A large strapping man like you? Sex of course.”

 

 “and you’ll let the girl go unharmed?”

 

  The Slug Maiden smiles, “promise,”

 

  Dorkaring pulls down his pants, already erect from earlier, “eh…where.”

 

  She moves up closer to him, just below the human abdomen section he can feel a slight opening, his dick slides right in. He doesn’t even need to do any work as it sucks on him, like pursed lips on a straw.

 

   “Kiss me,” she says as her blue tongue sticks out.

 

   He seals her mouth with his, wrestling her tongue with his, he is careful to mind an opening that appears on the end of the tongue, reminding him of what he saw before.

 

   “check this out,” she somehow says as the opening of her tongue slurps up his tongue, an erotic sensation he’s never felt before, and he’s had some weird experiences already.

 

   He thrusts his hips, unable to control himself as his dick and tongue are sucked on. She stops, on both ends as she says, “now suck on my tongue”.

 

   She pulls her mouth back from his and lets her tongue stick out, rigid. He puts his lips around her tongue and sucks on it back and forth, nearly gagging. But the returned attention to his dick makes him deal with it. Her tongue swells  in his mouth nearly choking him; but that glazed over, eyes rolled back expression on her face charges him on. He licks her engorged tongue, sucks on it, something about it reminds him of something else however.

 

   Her pussy suddenly opens up very wide and a long flat wet surface shoots out from it, between his legs, and cupping his ass as her arms wrap around him. She pulls him into the air and starts to thrust her tongue rapidly down his throat. She moans like a madwoman, her hair tendrils start whipping around and her eyes roll back as something, a lot of something shoots down his throat. He pulls himself free of the Slug Maiden, choking out a vomit stream of something white and thick, and very salty. He turns in time to see what looks like a green tongue roll up like a tube and retract into the Slug Maiden’s pussy as it too tightens up to the point it can’t be told apart from any of the other folds in her body. He looks up to see her tongue lulled out and dripping the white sludge onto the floor.

 

   She pants and says, “you give the best blowjobs.”

 

   His eyes shoot wide open, he looks at where the pussy was, and at her mouth and remembers what a slug looks like normally.

 

   He points at where the pussy was and utters, “wrong…hole…”

 

   The Slug Maiden convulses and the farmer’s daughter is brought back up and released on the ground. As the slug maiden lets her go, he sees her mouth and body covered in the same white sludge he just puked up, and finally as the legs are released a tongue the third one he has seen escapes the girl’s pussy lips, dripping the same fluid, and then a fourth he hadn’t noticed pulls free, also dripping from her rectum.

 

   She pants on the floor, “best…threesome…ever…”

 

 

 

   The Slug Maiden pulls all four tongues back in her mouth and says, “if you want to come back later big guy, I have a fifth penis too, we can give your hole some attention too.”

 

   He looks down to see the farmer’s daughter smiling up at him, albeit too worn out to continue for the time being.

 

   After a brief pause she says, “daddy sent you huh? He doesn’t approve of Valeria and I seeing each other, prude.”

 

   “What…” starts Dorkaring spitting out some more “sludge”.

 

  “When you said I ate Mal,” says Valeria, “I was tempted to say *Wrong hole*”

 

  She opens her mouth and five long blue tentacles come out as she stretches her mouth wider. Then startling him, the pussy opens up like a big O with a green tube that unfurls.

 

  “That’s her mouth,” says Mal, “the other mouth…on the human part…is her pussy slash dicks hole…thing, inside her her womb is like a super…mmmmm…” she strokes her tits and rubs her own clit in remembrance writhing on the ground, “orgy cave…mmm,”

 

   “Oh,” says Mal as the fifth tongue, penis, tentacle, reaches down and strokes gently over her pussy lips.

 

   “I…uh,…” says Dorkaring pulling up his pants and backing towards the wooden door over the cave entrance, “have…things…to do, right, I’m a hero, have to save the world from an evil goddess.”

 

   “Dorkaring…” moans Mal followed by an *oooh* as Valeria penetrates her, “come back soon…hero”

 

   Valeria smiles up at him too, “yeah…that duel blowjob was really hot…”

 

   Dorkaring turns and leaves, turning white as a sheet and holding his gut as he vomits. With a look of anger he looks back in the direction of the farm house. As he stomps through the woods, images of what just happened flash in his mind and words like, “that wasn’t so bad, she was sexy…that wasn’t really a dick, she’s a slug….remember school? Slugs are her…herma….ferdi….both sexes man, so its not gay….they only have one gender…plus tits man…tits…totally girl…just with tentacles that shoot splooge.”

 

   Dorkaring stops before the farm. The farmer sees him and comes out, “did you…”

 

   Dorkaring glares at him and stops, forgetting what he was going to say back when he started stomping over and instead says, “don’t hire anyone else to go after them…by order of Dorkaring, you send someone, I send you to prison for life!”

 

   “Y…yes sir,” says the frightened farmer.

 

   Dorkaring turns to leave and says, “I’ll be back,”

 

   If Dorkaring had returned to the cave he would have seen a stranger sight, as Mal says,

 

“I need to get cleaned up for home…” and smiles at Valeria.

 

  “Pudding stick,” says Valeria opening her true mouth and rolling out her tongue. Mal lays on a nearby giant long leaf, and laughs as she rolls up some corners on her splooge covered body. Valeria comes over, and slides her tongue under the leaf and Mal’s legs, bringing her mouth over Mal’s feet, sucking as she goes, and slithering forward drawing Mal, and the leaf into her body. Valeria pauses as Mal’s hips and waist go in and gives a strong *suck* making Mal shiver and giggle, “you,” says Mal.

 

   “Arms,” says Valeria.

 

 “right,” says Mal, wrapping the leaf around her body like a blanket, tucking her arms in.

 

 Valeria streatches around Mal’s arms and brings her body clear into her own body, stopping with just the tops of the shoulders, neck and head sticking out.

 

  “Touched bottom,” whispers Mal.

 

 “mmmmm,” says Valeria playing with her tits, “you are my favorite treat.”

 

     Mal makes a kissing motiong up at Valeria who sends down one of her phallic blue tongues. Mal sucks on the tip as it enters her mouth and says, “you’re my favorite treat too babe.”

 

    Inside the body, Mal can feel the plant dissolve around her, Valeria’s specialized herbivore saliva attacking plant matter but not animal matter doing its work. Valeria’s body undulates on Mal’s driving her crazy. That long tongue and body muscles manipulate Mal turning her around.

 

    “I want to taste those delicious tits,” says Valeria rolling her long tongue over Mal’s erect nipples. They both start bucking, Mal still sucking on that long phallic tentacle tongue. One might call it doggy style, in a not really sort of way, a style only possible with this arrangement of species. After they have both cum, Mal inside Valeria’s gut cavity, really a long mouth before the stomach/intestine coiled inside her, and Valeria a clear after cum that Mal mostly tries to swallow but some gets on the floor, they are both spent. Valeria crawls over to a mat, making Mal tremble from the movement, where she slowly spits her out, stopping briefly on her tits to enjoy the flavor for a moment longer.

 

   Mal and Valeria cuddle on the mat.

 

  Valeria whispers, “I am so glad I tried to eat you that first time.”

 

  Mal turns and kisses her, “I am so glad I wore that flower perfume the night I got lost in the woods, and took a nap outside your cave.”

 

  Valeria parts her hair and kisses her on the neck and says, “I know I was there you delicious inedible lover you.”

 

   A shimmer on the wall, something only Valeria sees, and smiles at enjoying that they were being watched.

 

  ******

 

   As Dorkaring climbs the mountain he sees an odd tiny wooden sign with a white face and black bold letters saying, [You need to save the world, you can fuck all the sex monsters you want when the world is not in peril.”

 

   “I know that Misaline,” says Dorkaring to the air and pulling the sign out, “the sword knows the way!”

 

   A silent figure invisible to him and further up the mountain side crosses her arms and thinks, “how was that a response to the sign?”

 

   Dorkaring travels the mountain, following a shimmer that appears when he points Exgladius in the right direction; something he learned from one of the many signs beings left for him. His travels through the mountains are long as he goes to heights and overlooks valleys he has never seen before, along the way even helping a lost tribe of Condor People far from their native lands find a Soul Stone that had been taken by a giant centipede, and amazingly did so without fucking the centipede. Well to be nice he doesn’t fuck most the things on these side quests, it just happens with more frequency than one expects from someone called a prince.

 

   Eventually he comes to a dry desert like sloping rocky side of the mountains overlooking a lush valley with a bean shaped lake in the middle. He fights a few flying monsters he has never seen before, like fangy bat winged mouths with tentacles and Bats Eyes, eyeballs with batwings that shoot acid tear drops, among some mole like things and such. He is lead to a sandstone like door guarded by a barrier not unlike that from the mansion, with a slot in the middle surrounded by strange runes in a circle. He slides the sword into the slot, easily penetrating the barrier. Please we hope he didn’t get off on that. Anywho, the door splits along the slot, two sides sliding open in protest. Inside is a long tunnel, magical lanterns ignite with smokeless flames leading the way. As he approaches a door there is a sudden strong gust of wind from behind him, and a black smoke that slithers around his feet with it racing through the door.

 

   He opens the black double doors decorated with imagery of a five headed dragon beast fighting a giant winged warrior woman. Inside the black mist obscures the far wall, a very bosom female frame emerges from the center of the best, knees bent, feet merged into the cloud, back in the cloud, arms free, long wavy wild hair that merges into the cloud. She has no mouth, however she does have a nose, and two pupil less red eyes.

 

   Dorkaring remembers Rhulan, this does not look like her, however her voice comes from it, “Foolish hero, have you come here only to die?”

 

  Dorkaring smiles as he draws his sword, “I have fought many monsters, and I know your secret.”

 

   “Really?” offers the dark mist.

 

  “I can either thrust Exgladius the legendary blade into your heart, killing you…or I can thrust something else into you…” he smiles smugly, “turn you away from evil and…”

 

   She aims her palm at him, throwing him with an unseen force into the wall, smacking him hard against it. He reaches behind his head and feels the blood escaping his scalp.

 

   “Raaaaa!” he yells flying forward with the legendary blade. He goes right through her and stabs something with a crinkling sound.

 

   The mist laughs wildly and maniacally. It clears from the room revealing that he has stabbed his sword into a giant blue crystal on the far wall. The crystal cracks and vanishes like dust that evaporates in the air. There is a sudden rumbling and the voice from the mist before, “you are going to want to run now.”

 

   Dorkaring flees the crumbling cave escaping to the outside. The ground is still shaking, but what he sees stops him flat on his feet. The mountain to the north has opened up. Great clouds of dust fill the air. Something, something as massive as the mountain emerges, a great beast whose body could shadow any village he has ever seen, whose leg alone would be sufficient to smash his castle back home with merely a step. Its body is not unlike a stocky dog with thick legs and strong rounded frame. Its underbelly and legs are covered in large golden round turtle shell like plates. Its feet sport four relatively short toes with white cone shaped claws. Its back sports over layered white blade like armor plates. Two tails can be made out going back into the black swirling abyss that the open mountain leads into, the darkness that was the beasts prison. The monster sports five heads, three at the top with relatively long serpentine necks with snake belly undersides and armored plate dorsal sides. It has the heads of frilled dragons. Two other similar necks and heads come off of the shoulders of its front limbs.

 

   The monster doesn’t move forward anymore, its tails whip up and down slowly as its heads kind of move back and forth and though surveying the land through squinting eyes.

 

  Xin appears before Dorkaring, “What have you done?”

 

  “What?” asks Dorkaring.

 

 “You were supposed to use Exgladius to slay the evil witch, not destroy the seal of Shabhigdra!”

 

   “Who?” asks Dorkaring.

 

  “The unspeakable one,” says Xin, “that’s its name Shabhigdra, and that’s what you see over there! But all is not lost. You can slay it. Become a hero of legends that will be told even after they become myth millennia from now. A name remembered for all eternity.”

 

   Dorkaring looks at his sword, legendary it might be, and then at the lumbering monstrosity that makes trees look like cut grass beneath it, upon whose back a city could be built.

 

   “It is not fully awake,” says Xin, “if it were its wings would have emerged and it would fly to the moon to wage war on the goddess that sleeps there who imprisoned it long ago…or first destroy as much of the world she loved so much to draw her out. But you have Exgladius, upon the monster’s back near its heads there is a glowing white sigil, stab it there with the sword and it will die. It was a failsafe of the goddess should the monster ever awaken.”

 

   Dorkaring is about to speak with a questioning look when Xin says, “she is a benevolent goddess even towards world ending monsters, she’d rather seal it than kill it.

So that death point was a safe guard kind of thing.”

 

   Dorkaring nods and heads off, climbing over the mountain, a longer trek than one thinks, but the beast remains there, just standing there day after day. However as Dorkaring gets closer something changes, he can see wings begin to grow from its back red membranes and golden scale covered limbs with black stripes.

 

   “Slow to rise,” says Dorkaring as he comes upon the cliff overlooking the monster’s back. Its wings are halfway grown, he can see black circles with purple spots in the center on the wings, like those on a butterfly, except these are like some mutated cross between bat wings and butterfly wings. He leaps onto the monsters back. As he makes his way towards the head, things come out from between the scales, horrible things with spindly bodies and many mouths; hook armed things with glowing Cyclops eyes, drill armed beetles, and armored worms. He fights his way through the abyssal hordes.

 

   Upon arriving before the sigil he stabs Exgladius into it. Massive white sparks shoot over the monster’s body, it lets out a horrific deafening roar from its five heads. The sigil vanishes and the heads bend backwards, trying to look at its own body. The space around the sigil morphs into eight miniature heads, all still towering over him, that look down on him and speak in unison, “Who dares strike Shabhigdra the destroyer of worlds?...hmm…tiny mortal man with dragon’s blood? You are no match for Shabhigdra, merely another parasite upon our back.”

 

   “Those…were parasites,” thinks Dorkaring.

 

  He aims his sword high and announces, “I am the Great Hero Dorkaring, legendary Hero, I have slain many monsters, seen many things, I will not fall here monster! I the great hero Dorkaring will van…vanquit…destroy you!”

 

    Shabhigdra laughs, its eight mini heads speak, “Let’s see how long you last little insect.”

 

   It shoots energy beams from its mouth while Dorkaring leaps about slashing at them. Each falls and vanishes in black smoke as he slashes them off. However another grows back, each time the larger necks bend impossibly backwards, their dorsal plates changing into a kind of octopus like skin, the heads slowly rotating as long five forked pink tentacle like tongues slowly come from the mouths. Just as he is starting to fight these spike covered tongues that are all around him, blocking him in something happens.

 

   Upon the valley floor Shabhigdra did not see her there, distracted by the Holy Sigil of Celestial Lightning, and Dorkaring’s attacks it did not notice the sorceress Rhulan emerge, did not notice as she summoned a long black broadsword with a black hilt, whose guard looks like black feathers. It did however notice the attack.

 

    “Moon Clever!” yells out Rhulan unleashes a massive black energy wave that thanks to the five heads all leaning back together cuts through all five necks at once. The gust of wind from the attack throws Dorkaring off his feet. Before the heads can fall Rhulan as thrown a large red orb, Telekinetically thrusted and thrown together the orb to send it as fast as possibly into the wound of Shabhigdra.

 

   It is as if time stops. The heads do not fall upon Dorkaring, he simply stands there confused. Red cracks like lines on shattering glass form all over the monster’s body. A massive scurrying can be heard as the parasites flee in a cloud from the body. The body cracks apart and falls in slow motion, splintering and exploding in red mist that gets sucked towards the center. Dorkaring leaps down upon falling pieces, one to another as the necks, body, and legs come apart and are drawn up towards the center. Thanks to his immense strength and durable body he is able to leap the final twenty feet to the ground from a floating shell piece. He watches as the mountain sized behemoth vanishes into a red mist that circles into a single point.

 

   The red glowing point flies down and lands in the hand of Rhulan, who is not standing but a few dozen feet away. He watches as she puts the orb into a blackness in her cape, and withdraws her magic sword into a portal.

 

   “Witch!” yells out Dorkaring, leaping from the bushes with his sword.

 

 

  “The horndog lives,” says Rhulan, “not that I am one to speak about unusual sexual partners.”

 

   He aims his sword at her, “I see your game now, you…did something…caught that monster, and plan to use it as a weapon!”

 

   Rhulan shrugs, “kind of right, but not the way you think.”

 

  “Die!” he yells out slicing at her with Exgladius.

 

  Her arms glows blue as she backhands the blade, shattering it….

 

   Shattering it? Dirt and dust, sandstone shatters in the air. In Dorkaring’s hand is a crumbling sandy hilt.

 

   “What…” starts Dorkaring.

 

  “I used you,” says Rhulan, “I could not touch that sword, don’t worry its back with your dragon lover at the bottom of her lake. It used equal mass transportation and switched with some sediment in the same shape and packed into the same density. Just contacting my aura was enough to send the blade away.”

 

   “Used me?” asks Dorkaring.

 

  “Yes,” says Rhulan, “that goddess sealed that Eldritch Abomination well, gems only a mortal could touch as they would move away from one such as I, not that I needed them to travel to the Timeless Lands, but the sinker was always that sword I couldn’t touch, needed to open a door whose barrier would only teleport one such as I away back to the Timeless Lands, and needed to break that seal to open the subspace in which that slumbering horror was imprisoned. In the time it took you to get to it, I was able to stealth fully plant that holy sigil on its back…”

 

   Dorkaring stammers, “wha…huh…I…”

 

  “Anywho,” says Rhulan, “the long short is, I needed someone who could pass those tests to get that sword, only a legendary hero could do that, and to use that sword to free that monster, again something only a legendary hero could do…granted one being tricked to that specific thing rather than just walk away with the sword, and only someone with such power as yours could survive on that thing’s back to distract it long enough to give me a clear shot with the Seraphim Sword, unless I got all give heads at once it would just regenerate…heal really fast….and probably fully wake up from the shock and fly away making the fight a billion times more difficult and destructive.”

 

  “I’m…still a hero?” asks Dorkaring.

 

 

  “Yes,” says Rhulan with a smile and hands on hips, “you are still a hero, you did lots of good deeds, in a rather amusing manner at times, and were key in finishing off a horror just waiting for someone or time its self to erode the seal, before destroying this world. So yes, you have a legendary tale to tell.”

 

   “But…you…she said you were the goddess of chaos.” says Dorkaring.

 

  “Young man,” says Rhulan in a tone that surprises Dorkaring as she sounds like a teacher, “you should never confuse chaos with entropy, chaos is the force that drives change in the universe, entropy…as this monster represents, only seeks destruction.”

 

   With that Rhulan vanishes in a portal leaving Dorkaring to stand in the valley alone.

 

   After a few moments Dorkaring starts to walk.

 

   “I see you are without a sword brave hero,” says a sultry voice in the wind. Several wind Nymphs appear, “we the guardians of the Water Temple saw your great feat, your unrivaled assistance to a deity in defeating the ancient horror. For your bravery we gift you with our bodies and after words will grant you the Silver Sword of Sarma, a mighty blade befitting a mighty hero.

 

   Dorkaring starts to take his tunic and armor off heading towards the meadow filled with Nymphs while saying, “here we go again,” followed by the nymphs giggling.