Galactic Guardians: Origin of Golem-Gal

   I don’t know what you guys expect me to write here, there isn’t much to it, and I don’t know anything really. I’m not a writer, or a poetic, or anything so I can’t really put it into words honestly. I know you guys won’t accept that, not that she really cares, I’ll be gone before you even read this deposition. Well, it started a week before last Halloween; I needed a costume. I had this crazy idea to dress up like a woman; but not the typical cheerleader or whatever. I was going to be all clever about it and dress like an old witch. So I went up into the attic to rummage through some of my grandmother’s things. That is where I found it, or rather that old grey cat found it; if you should be questioning anyone it’s that freaky cat; swear the thing is like fifty years old. It out lived grandma and I swear she’s had it all the years I’ve known her, so yeah go question that cat you weirdoes. Bet you will too. So, okay, I am up there in the attic, going through boxes, when the cat gives me a scare and knocks over an old box of jewelry that was locked shut and broke on the floor. So inside I find this like silver medallion thing, perfect for a witch costume; put it on, and bam; next thing I know I am waking up in fucking England with blurry memories of transforming into a seven foot tall grey skinned naked Amazon woman. Yeah I put two and two together when I saw the news about this “Golem Gal”. A few more events like that and you jack asses find me in a ditch and hull me in, but I know she has friends now, and that they’re coming for her; she told me in the mirror. So, yeah, good-bye.

 

Billy Blankson