Fanfic: Rhulan vs Superman

    As the Justice League assembles its members to meet at the Watch Tower to discuss the new villain that robbed the museum, defeated Super-boy, Miss Martian, Night Wing, Artemis, and Dr. Fate before vanishing, this very same individual is floating in a sitting yoga position in the middle of the Sahara Desert.

 

    “Flow of mana of this place,” says Rhulan, “show me Super-man’s location in time and space.”

 

    She sees a vision of Super-man and the heroes gathered in the Watch Tower and senses his life energy high in orbit.

 

    “I see,” says Rhulan, “so you are in orbit above the planet, well then lets follow your essence-ial trail and see where you are normally on this planet.”

 

    She closes her eyes, “Mana of this Earth show me Super-man’s place of birth.”

 

    Her vision shows the planet and a faint trail descending to it from the stars, “I see,” says Rhulan as the vision descends to the Earth, “so this so called Super-man, king of men is himself alien to this world, hmm…”

 

    The vision zooms in on a small town, she sees the Kent farm, “a quaint little farm…how amusing and…”

 

    A blond girl comes down the stairs greeting the older couple. Rhulan smiles, “I see you, and yes this familiar life essence. So Super-girl does exist in this iteration, how curios she is not with the others. But there is time for that later.”

 

    The vision shifts and moves to the city of Metropolis outside the Daily Planet.

 

    “Vision Traverse,” says Rhulan standing and walking through her own vision and appearing before the doors of the Daily Planet.

 

   She smiles as she walks inside. In the lobby she looks around and at the ceiling.

 

   “Excuse me miss,” says the receptionist, “you can’t come in here with out an appointment.”

 

   Rhulan frowns, “Look at me human, do you not see the cape and the out of place attire?”

 

   Rhulan floats in the air, “Now then, I have business to attend to.”

 

   Her body turns clear as she phases through the ceiling, passing through several floors, startling the employees. She does not stop till she reaches the reporter’s room. She walks over to the simple little desk with a woman sitting behind the computer on one side of the double desk typing.

 

   “So tell me,” says Rhulan, “are you Super-man’s lover young lady?”

 

   “What?” says Lois Lane startled, “Who are you?”

 

 

   “Excuse my manners,” says Rhulan, “I am in a bit of a rush and am a bit surprised to discover that someone as physically strong as this Super-man would take something so frail and fragile as his lover…girl friend…wife perhaps.”

 

    “I…” says Lois Lane looking around at the questioning glances of her co-workers and the security that don’t know what to do about this obvious meta-human that has barged into the Daily Planet.

 

   “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” says Lois.

 

   “Come now,” says Rhulan, “his life essence is practically dripping off of you and this area. But any who,”

 

    She looks to the sky, and looks back at Lois with an evil gleam in her eye and a wicked smile, “If the heroes of this world think of me as a super-villain, perhaps it would be fun

to play the part.”

 

    With a wave of her hand Rhulan has transported herself and Lois Lane back to the Sahara.

 

    “Who are you?” asks Lois again.

 

    Rhulan raises an eyebrow.

 

    “I am a reporter,” says Lois, “I need to know the name of the super-villain Super-man is going to take down when he rescues me.”

 

   Rhulan smiles and with a flip of her wrist summons a stone cage around Lois Lane, “I am Empress Rhulan, ruler of the world of Aesperia; and I am going to kick super-man in the nuts for cock blocking me two centuries ago in…well a past of life of his as it were, yet was still him as he is today.”

 

    “What? Lady you’re crazy.” says Lois.

 

   “Maybe so,” says Rhulan, “but boredom reaps such strange crops. Now then lets get your rescuer’s attention shall we.”

 

   Rhulan chants something beneath her breath and makes a few odd gestures. A storm manifests in the air above them, the clouds encircling their location in an ominous manner.

 

    In the watch tower a red dot appears on a screen and Super-man is out with barely a word and with out back up.

 

    ******

 

    In the desert Lois Lane is shouting out something, Rhulan however has no patience for this reporter and her goading as her focus is on something else; faster than the eye can see she extends her arm as though in flex, and a red and blue blur tumbles through the sand behind her.

 

   “Super-man I presume,” says Rhulan, “not a way for a king to act, trying to zip by me to rescue the damsel in distress. Is it not customary on your world for warriors to address each other first, introduce themselves, and do a bit of dialoguing first?”

 

    Super-man stands up, “Not when you have innocent people in danger.”

 

    “Danger?” says Rhulan smirking as she looks at the cage, “hardly, no she was bait to insure that you alone would show Super-man.”

 

    “What do you want?” asks Super-man.

 

   “Well,” says Rhulan pausing a moment, “to be honest….no…never mind, I’m going to play this straight.”

 

   She smiles at super-man, crosses her arms and floats, “I am Rhulan the Celestial Sorceress, Empress of the world of Aesperia!”

 

    She points dramatically at Super-man, “and I am here to kick your ass and yours alone for blue…balling?....blue snatching…blue labia—ing…eh…what ever, any who, I am here because a past iteration of yourself crotch blocked me…yeah that sound good, and I suspect you were the reason that Wonder Woman or Super-girl never did call me…well that or your world retconned its self…really your world is very screwed up.”

 

    She now more talking to Lois than Super-man, “your universe seems controlled by these Lords of Order guys, Order can be more damaging than chaos to be honest, especially if its so unbalanced in their favor, like insisting no new major changes occur in order to maintain the status quo by overlapping the timeline to keep it set with in a certain set of potential events and developments. Heh, your universe is no doubt become so temporally heavy…that…huh,”

 

    Rhulan looks thoughtful a moment, “well I’ll be damned this could mean…”

 

   “Spirit Shield!” Rhulan raises her barrier in time to absorb Super-man’s punch, sliding her back slightly.

 

   “So disgraceful,” says Rhulan, “but oh well,”

 

   “Mystic Bolt!” shouts Rhulan as she backhands a purple fire ball towards Super-man.

 

   He vanishes, speeding and appears behind her, before he can grab her she *zips*, appears and back hands him. He is quick to shake it off as he punches her in the gut.

 

   Rhulan takes a step back holding her abdomen, a grimace on her face and a look that would terrify anyone on her world, “bas…tard…*hheee*”

 

    Super-man grabs her by the arms and flies up, pinning her arms to her side. Higher and higher they go, leaving the ground far behind. Rhulan wriggles her arms finding them effectively pinned, this man is stronger than she remembered; or rather had forgotten. The air becomes thinner as they rise.

 

    “I see,” says Rhulan, “either he intends to asphyxiate me or at the least make me pass out, so either he can hold his breathe or survive in outer space…survive in outer space…”

 

    As the blackness of space appears Super-man is taken back by the smile on Rhulan’s face, as well as by her body suddenly glowing blue. Tiny sparks come off her body dancing over super-man’s fingers, her grimaces. In this moment Rhulan knocks his arms free, bolts of aether dancing from her striking him as she does so. As he staggers in the void knees him the gut, a large bolt of light flashing from her knee hitting him, she does a little twirl floating above him and kicks him from above on his back, another flash occurring as he flies downwards.

 

    “Weird,” thinks Rhulan, “I’ve never seen the Celestial Aura act offensively before.”

 

   As super-man flies down to earth, the flames of re-entry all around him, he starts to regain is composure, “what happened? Oh right falling to Earth.”

 

    He does a spin and flies off with a sonic boom to where Lois is. When he arrives he finds Dr. Fate waiting for him, Lois freed from the cage.

 

    “This is a first,” says Lois, “A different super-hero rescuing me before Super-man gets the chance to.”

 

    “Zatarra,” thinks Super-man, “why’d you put the helmet back on?”

 

    “Lois,” says Super-man.

 

   “You better save it,” says Lois pointing up, “Your dance partner’s back.”

 

   Rhulan is floating there above them, her arms crossed, her expression stern as though she were a displeased instructor as she looks between the two super-heroes.

 

   “Pitiful display,” says Rhulan, “the hero distracts me while his friend sneaks around to rescue the damsel in distress…”

 

   She *spits*.

 

   “Well, the best laid plans of mice, mortals, and gods as they say. So ready for round two?”