Title: 'Shooper's Day' by Top_Lele Author: RbDosh Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/kpGBGq8k First Edit: Tuesday 2nd of July 2013 04:15:18 PM CDT Last Edit: Tuesday 2nd of July 2013 04:15:18 PM CDT Shooper looked dreamily out of his window on a particularly stormy night. Thoughts of his distant lover, Top_Lele, entered his mind at synchronic intervals that seemed tuned to perfection. Each thought forced his erection harder against his jeans; it wouldn’t be long before they burst from the pressure. The barraging thoughts of hot Man on Trap action set his hormones ablaze. He couldn’t help it, he released the zipper which restrained his bulging manhood, and his phallus sprung forth like a high powered piston. He thought momentarily about grabbing the nearby lotion; however, he dropped the thought. He wanted to experience this sensation dry.   Just as he was about to begin, a loud knock on the door interrupted his concentration, he looked around desperately for a way to eliminate his erection quickly, a wooden mallet on the kitchen counter seemed like the only reasonable solution. So, without hesitation he grabbed the mallet and slammed it upon his penis several times, and….I guess it got rid of the erection? He wiped the blood off of the counter, zipped up his pants and opened the door. What he saw made his mouth fall agape, standing before him was Lauren Faust, the porn star, right? I’m really not sure.   Her attire just screamed “spread your legs.” Shooper backed away in horror at the sight, he could he of all people defile such a wonderful goddess? He resolved not to desecrate that sacred temple with his now flattened penis. But Lauren seemed to have other plans, she approached Shooper, and grabbed him by the pants roughly, pulling them down around his ankles. Shooper watched red-cheeked as all of the spaghetti in his pockets spilt all over Lauren’s face. She took her time sucking each individual noodle off her face. Shooper could have gotten into this, if it weren’t for the zipper he happened to notice on the summit of her head. She grabbed it and pulled it down the length of her body.   What stepped out was….a beast. He was bulgy and brute, grey skinned and massive. His eyes burned icy flames that internally spoke of lust and domination. He then began to utter mindlessly:   “Solomon Grundy; born on Monday.” Oh shit, it was Solomon Grundy from the Batman comics. Shooper was truly fucked!   Shooper attempted to back away, but it was in vain. Solomon swept up Shooper’s body in his massive hand and brought him up to eye level. His glamorous eyes moved down Shooper’s erotic form, setting on his smashed penis. Solomon Grundy curled his brow in disgust, flipping Shooper over to get a look at that ass of his. Shooper gulped in horror at what happened next.   Solomon Grundy lowered his finger to Shooper’s rectal region, inserting his finger repeatedly into his puckered anus. Shooper moaned loudly allowing his butt fluids to drain out onto Solomon’s finger; Solomon wiped his finger off on Shooper’s clothes and proceeded to lower Shooper’s body to level with his bulging erection.   A single tear slid down Shooper’s cheeks. He knew if that massive anus destroyer entered his nether region, he would not survive the encounter. So he did what every brave, intelligent, person who enjoys having coitus with equines does: “Oh, please don’t fuck me Solomon; I’ll give you my entire Twilight Sparkle fuckie plushie collection!” He would be disappointed to lose all 567 of his plushies, but they were worth the trade. Solomon accepted the offer, and then took all of his Twilight fuck friends to his layer to have a magical slumber/tea party with them.   Shooper looked at his now empty array of shelves that had previously contained his sex toys. It was not a complete loss, for he kept the one tool that mattered most to him. He looked upon his right hand dreamily, thoughts now shifting to Rat, his prepubescent voice, and love of rape. These thoughts were cut off by the door slamming open behind him, I mean holy shit on an altar, and how many interruptions must one man suffer before he can finally rub one out? He turned around and saw Rat, standing in the doorway dressed in a black ski mask and wielding a seemingly impossible sized dildo.   “R-Rat-chan…” Shooper muttered looking at Rat standing in the doorway, he felt his flattened phallus grow erect at the sight of him.   “Oh, for fucks sake Shooper, where are the Twailot toys!?” Shooper’s heart sank, he thought the boy wanted his D that was now akin to gum on a sidewalk.   “L0L I bet u r u gey u want dis dik in ur arse rite bby?” Shooper moved his gaze back to Rat, his English was impeccable, and this nearly re-inflated his- okay he seriously needs fucking medical attention- laffy taffy dick. Then he realized something, he had just called Shooper gay! *LE GASP!*    Rat threw the dildo heavily on the floor, leaping in a dramatic arc towards his target. Shooper attempted to crawl away, shocked by this sudden action. Rat landed on top of him, and proceeded to masturbate heavily over Shooper’s face.   “It’s so small, Rat, stahp it, noooo!” Eventually, Rat came a gooey, slick, green vitreous fluid over Shooper’s face, he whimpered solemnly, but Rat’s voice took on a deep, black tone as he leaned into Shooper’s ear. “You better swallow, you fucking bitch.   Shooper shuddered slightly, swallowing the sticky substance obediently. Rat’s assertive niggerness turned him on beyond measure, his flattened penis reinflated with a loud pop, he was more jubilant than he had ever been at that moment. “Oooh! Rat-chan! Let us-“ He was cut off by Rat taking his Top gun hat off of his head, and running down out of the apartment with it. “God fucking damn-it Rat, give me my fucking hat back! You little piece of shit!” And so the chase ensued. Shooper ran out of the apartment following Rat’s little nigger legs as he sprinted at abnormal speeds down the hallway. Shooper then realized, he would never be a match for Rat’s nigger speed, he would have to have an ace in his hole. Hahaha, hole, he ran to the nearest black guy and bit him in the throat. He drew succulently upon his blood, and he felt the nigger powers coursing through his veins. He felt his bottom lip swell up to 3 times its original size. He stole watermelons from the nearby store, along with Fried Chicken from the deli and some koolaid dust, that shit be ballin’ nigga. He felt his knees grow to incredible lengths, making him about 7 ft tall. He ran in long strides after Rat, but it was no use. Rat was about as fast as he was. He needed something… something to assist him. He decided to invest in a company called Acme. Where they would supply him with all of the defunct weapons and devices he would need to royally fuck himself over.   He bought a rifle from Acme, and aimed at Rat as he was running to take a shot. But when he fired, the gun backfired. The bullet shot out of the back of the gun, curved around his body and rammed straight into his asshole. Shooper let out a moan of incredible pleasure. to him. He then jumped high into the air, arcing magnificently over Rat’s body, landing right on top of him. “I'll teach you to steal my shit you fuck!” He began to furiously beat the shit out of Rat, landing punches on his nose, forehead, cheek and penis. “Die you stupid motherfucker!” He got up from Rat’s broken body, and walked away, now heavily craving grape soda. He ignored his cravings, he grabbed his hat off of Rat’s head, and inspected it for damages, there was semen stains all over the top of it, and on the inside, it was littered with absurd drawings of male genetalia. Shooper didn't mind, he had a job to do. He walked right up to Top_Lele’s house, and knocked on the door repeatedly. “Open the fucking door you little fucking piece of abortion scraps!” He opened the door and looked at Shooper, who put his hand behind his baggy pants and drew a gun, held sideways of course. All niggers hold guns sideways, right? Why the fuck do they even do that? Does that look cooler or something? Does it make the bullet more powerful? I can only imagine that being a bitch to aim. Nigger logic; amirite?   “Oh shit, Shooper, what are you doing?” Shooper took on a deep black voice, and began to chant: “I HAVE HAD IT, WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHER FUCKING PLANE.”   I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANE   He shot Top_Lele several times in his dick; Top_Lele in turn fell onto his knees crying for his mother. “Shooper; why did you do this to me!?” Shooper looked at him calmly while sheathing his gun back into his baggy pants. “I’ll hit the brakes, he’ll fly right by.” “Shooper, that fucking Top Gun line doesn't work there…” “Don't worry, I was driving before you were itching in your daddy’s pants.” Shooper turned away from Top_Lele, shitting promptly on him before walking out the door. It was finally over, Shooper walked right out of the apartment onto the street and began to masturbate furiously in public. When he came, the explosive force was the equivalent to the bomb dropped on Hiroshima, a great many babies were aborted right then and there.