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Helo Thunder Chapter 6

By: RT_pony on Aug 4th, 2012 | syntax: None | size: 25.33 KB | hits: 738 | expires: Never

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>you woke up to a warm fuzzy feeling.
>sleeping at the inn was definitely a morale booster.
>after sleeping against a helicopter, this bed was amazing.
>something did feel off though…
>there was a warm fuzzy feeling still, but it was mostly at your backside
>for a moment, you forgot exactly where you were.
“Cadence…?”
>you felt the unmistakable sensation of a p0ny nuzzling the back of your neck, and you rolled over.
“Morning Cad-AHHHHHHH!”
>Batmare, who had moved over in her sleep and snuggled against you, snapped awake.
>”AHHHHHHHH!”
“AHHHHHHHH!”
>”AHHHHHHHH!”
>Batmare scrambled away from you, falling off the edge of the bed and landing with a thud.
>her head poked up, her golden eyes burning a hole through you.
>”I told you to stay on your side!”
“I am on my side! You came here!”
>”I did not!”
“Did too!”
>”Shut up! It doesn’t matter! Let’s just… go!”
>Batmare trotted over to her cloak and quickly put it on, disguising her bat like figure, and you headed to the gunship together.
>”Hurry up, we have a long flight ahead of us.”
“It’d go quicker if you suck it up and get in the damn helicopter.”
>”In your dreams.”
“We’ve established that I can fly faster than you, and that both of us just want this mission to be over with.”
>”Ugh, fine. Open up.”
>You leaned forward and unlatched the gunner’s entrance, pushing the window pane out so Batmare could get inside.
>”This is uncomfortable.”
“Deal with it. Now sit down, strap in, and don’t touch shit.”
>”Whatever.”
>You took off into the air, and began racing north toward Stalliongrad.
>”Hey, should we have told Twilight what happened?”
“Our job is to get information to track Shiny down. Twilight wouldn’t give us information we needed if she knew we were going to kill him.”
>”What if we had told her the whole story?”
“Would have taken too long. Besides, we have the information we need, quit worrying about it.”
>”You sure you never did this before?”
“I’m sure. I’m putting on some music. If you need me, tap your helmet. Other than that, don’t touch anything.”
>”Yeah yeah, Just put on the tunes.”
>You flicked on the tunes and sat back in your pilot seat as you flew over the rolling hills of Equestria.
>Batmare shifted uncomfortably in her seat from time to time, but didn’t complain often, mostly because of the ground you were covering.
>You fell into a routine fairly quickly, traveling by day, sleeping by night.
>The two of you didn’t talk much, which to you was an improvement.
>Then… one day…
”Hey Batmare?”
>”Hmm?”
“Sun’s going down. I’ll put us down up ahead.”
>”Oh, alright. We should only be a few hours away from Stalliongrad.”
“We’ll be well rested when we get there then.”
>You sat down about 50m from a small river, and climbed down from the gunship with Bats.
>You had traveled quite a bit into the northern part of Equestria, the weather was proof.
>Frost was already forming on the ground below you.
>”We should build a fire… It’s freezing.”
“Agreed.”
>You and Batmare got to work breaking limbs off the nearby trees that you could reach
>Once you had gathered about 20 or so pieces of wood, you drew your knife and scraped off some wood shavings into the center of the campfire before attempting to light them with your zippo.
>Soon, you and Batmare were nestled against the side of the gunship, warming yourselves by the fire.
>Batmare pulled a few blankets from the cockpit, handing you one with her mouth.
“Thanks…”
>”Welcome…”
>You helped Batmare wrap up in her own blanket before wrapping up in your own, and staring blankly into the fire.
>”You warm?”
“Not really. You?”
>”Same here… Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
>”Back at the hotel, I heard you mumble ‘Cadence’. Are you two… you know.”
“No. Hell no.”
>”You make it sound horrible. Cadence is really pretty.”
“Not my type.”
>”So, what are you two?”
“Friends. Good friends, but still just friends.”
>”So…”
>Batmare trailed off, seemingly lost in thought.
“So… what?”
>”Huh? Oh, nothing.”
“Alright, good night Bats.”
>”Night…”
>You rested your head against the fuselage of the helo, and attempted to drift off to sleep.
>As the night drug on, you found it surprisingly difficult to sleep with the cold air at your flesh.
>Suddenly, a hoof, very gently fell on your leg.
>Then another hoof, this one on your other leg.
>The first hoof moved to your shoulder, and the second hoof followed suit.
>Finally, you felt Batmare’s entire body fall onto your, pulling her body tightly against your own.
>She felt warmer than usual, but you chalked that up to the cold air making her feel that way to you.
>You could give her so much shit for this, but it was pretty cold, maybe one night of cuddling and sharing body heat wouldn’t hurt.
>With your new found cuddle buddy, you finally drifted off to sleep.
>You awoke to a sharp pain in your ear.
>”Wakey wakey.”
>What in the actual fuck?”
“What in the actual fuck?”
>Batmare nipped at your ear again, drawing a bit of blood.
>You quickly shoved her off, holding your ear in pain.
>”Heyyyyyyy.”
“What are you doing?!”
>”Just playing…”
“You bit my ear!”
>”Chiefers… don’t be so mean.”
“What the hell did you just call me?”
>”Chiefers. Do you not like that name?”
“No.”
>”How about Anoners?”
”NO!”
>”Chiefy?”
“Not just no, HELL NO!”
>”Aw come on, quit being so difficult!”
>Batmare placed her forelegs back on your thighs, pushing her face closer to your own.
>He golden snake eyes were half lidded, her smile toothy..
>He fangs gleamed in the morning light.
“Nopenopenopenope-mmmmph!”
>Batmare lunged in, pressing her mouth against your own, forcing her tongue inside your own mouth.
>It almost tickled in not one, but two places on the roof of your mouth, and you couldn’t help but gag.
>Pushing Batmare back again, you gagged and coughed for a few moments before looking over at Batmare, who flicked her tongue at you.
”You have a forked tongue?!”
>”Mhmm.”
“Are you trying to fuck with my head, or are you actually trying to hit on me?”
>”Well I… uh… is either happening?”
“Yeah, you’re creeping me out!”
>”Oh…”
>You snatched the blanket and rolled them both up, pitching them in the helicopter.
>”Am I that… ugly?”
>You let out a sigh, resting your forehead against the fuselage of the helicopter.
”No Batmare. I’m really just not attracted to any of you p0nies like that. You’re all cute but… more like a puppy dog.”
>“Am I cute?”
”I just said I’m not attracted-“
>“Not like that. Just, compared to other p0nies.”
“I… I guess?”
>”That’s a no… I wasn’t always this way. Magic turned me into this when I enlisted under Luna’s guard.”
“Look. You’re the most… unique p0ny I’ve met. Honestly, you look pretty badass.”
>”Badass doesn’t attract stallions.”
“It can. Why the hell are you trying to attract ME though? A week ago you were ready to rip my throat out.”
>”Well, it’s my estrus cycle… and you’re the only male anything for… who knows how far.”
“Estrus?”
>”Like… mating season.”
“You’re trying to have my kid? Is that even possible?”
>”No no no, the chances that our species is compatible is… well… 0. I just need some… relief…”
“Oh… Ohhhhh.”
>”Sorry, I’ll just put up and shut up.”
“Sorry to say that might be best. Ready to go?”
>”Yeah… let’s ride.”
>Batmare hopped up in the gunship with you, and you flew the last few hours to Stalliongrad.
>As she had said, you were flying over the city before noon, and you flicked off the music.
>”OHHHH~!”
“Uh, Bats?”
>Batmare spun around in her seat, staring back at you as if you had just walked in on her.
“ARE YOU MASTURBATING IN MY GOD DAMN HELO?”
>”What?! NO!”
“THAT’S FUCKING NASTY!”
>”I’m… I’m… I’m… Well I’m not masturbating!”
“You better not get you mare fluids all over my seat. Go to the bathroom or something. We’ll be landing soon.”
>Batmare didn’t even waste time with landing.
>She dove out of the cockpit and went straight into the train station.
>You sat down in a courtyard in the middle of the desolate train station, and began walking toward the ticket counter where you regrouped with Batmare
>She was already questioning a red p0ny at the counter.
>”I TELL YOU P0NY IN SHINING ARMOR NO COME HERE! HAVE GOOD DAY!”
>”He’s not in shining armor. His NAME is Shining Armor. Look at the picture!”
>”WHITE P0NY VERY RARE YES? NO! HE HAS NOT BEEN HERE! MANIFEST SAYS SO AS WELL!”
>”Quit shouting!”
>”AM NOT SHOUTING! THIS IS NORMAL VOICE!”
>”Are you sure he wasn’t here?”
>”AM VERY SURE. NOT ON LIST. VERY FEW P0NY TRAVEL TO STALLIONGRAD.”
>You ad Batmare stepped aside and quietly talked amongst your selves.
>”That doesn’t make any sense! The Ponyville manifest said he came here.”
“You know what else doesn’t make sense?”
>”What?”
“Come on, you said it back in Ponyville.”
>”Just tell me Chiefers.”
>You couldn’t help but glare at Batmare for the nickname.
“Why would he come up this direction anyways? Equestria has jurisdiction in Prance, Germaneigh and the Ibex Empire.”
>”So you think he didn’t come up here?”
“I think he got a ticket to Stalliongrad, and then hopped a train to another city, say Applepaloosa.”
>”Just to throw anyp0ny off his trail… Damn it!”
“Hey! Snap out of it!”
>”We just started this mission and he already shook us off. He could be anywhere now!”
“We know what direction he’s going. Look.”
>You pulled Batmare to the oversized map of Equestra, and pointed.
”He knows he can’t out run us on foot. So he’ll be relying on trains to get away as fast as possible.”
>”So, that rules out the griffon kingdom. There’s no trains that go up there. Plus there’s a lot of griffons that hate p0nies.”
“Exactly. That leaves Applepaloosa, Manehattan, and Fillydelphia. All of which are west.”
>”Any of them could be possible targets. Two of them are port cities.”
“My bits are on Applepaloosa. He wants to get as much ground as possible from us.”
>”Doesn’t he think you’re off fighting changelings?”
“He should know I’ll be back. Besides, if not me, Celestia would probably have you and all your lunar guard after him.”
>”Good point, none of us are loyal to him.”
“Enough talk. We’ll check Fillydelphia and Manehattan first. If he’s not there, we’ll head to Applepaloosa.”
>”Hopefully Shiny doesn’t shoot you down again.”
>Batmare trotted off toward the helo, flicking her tail so that is struck your posterior.
“Celestia shot me down!”
>”That’s not what I heard Chiefers.~”
>With a resound sigh, you trudged on after the Batmare, watching as she flicked her tail side to side.
>left, right, left, right.
>Each flick revealed her pink, swollen, mareho-NOPE.
>Brain you are not authorized to engage.
>”Problem, Chiefers?
“Just get in the damn helo. And I better not catch you masturbating.”
>”I wasn’t masturbating!”
>Batmare jumped up into the gunner seat and flicked the audio feed to auxiliary.
>Guess that was your cue to play some music.
>You stopped at the same camp site you had stopped at the previous night.
>Batmare, with her fangs, had managed to get some fish for the both of you from the nearby river.
>The bones of said fish laid in front of the campfire, and in front of them, sat you and Batmare, slumped over, holding your bellies in content.
“I didn’t think p0nies ate meat.”
>”Most p0nies hate it. Implying they’ve tried it of course.”
“Implying implications.”
>”What?”
“Nothing, go on.”
>”Whatever. I’m not a normal p0ny. So I kind of like the stuff on occasion.”
“No, you look pretty normal.”
>”Wait, really?”
“Sarcasm, Bats.”
>”Right, well, wanna take a legit guess at what I am?”
>Batmare looked up at you with those cute golden eyes of hers.
>Cute?
>Ok, they were sort of cute.
“I’m sticking to half bat.”
>”Wrong. Half dragon. Sort of…”
“There’s dragons here? And how are you ‘sorta’ half dragon?”
>”Magic.”
“That seems to be the answer for everything in this place.”
>”Yeah, you’ll get use to it. But yeah, the tongue, the eyes, the sharp teeth, the wings.”
“Why dragon? Why not something else?”
>”Have you ever seen a dragon?”
“No.”
>”They’re scary. So I guess the idea was if the night guard is scary, criminals wouldn’t resist as much.”
“Fair enough.”
>”I hear there’s two guards that really are half dragon. I don’t know who though. We all look the same.”
”Don’t dragons live a long time?”
>”I thought you never seen one.”
“They’re fables where I come from.”
>”Well, yeah, they live thousands of years. The half dragons are supposedly from before Luna was sent to the moon. So they’d be over 1000 years old too.”
“How old are you, 300, 500? It’s impossible to tell with you p0nies.”
>Batmare chuckled.
>Funny, you never heard her laugh until now.
>”I’m twenty. You know it’s not polite to ask a mare her age.”
“Right… my mistake.”
>”It’s alright Chiefers.”
“Don’t start that. Please.”
>”Heh, right. Sorry about that. We should get some rest.”
>Batmare pulled her blanket over her and laid down on the icy ground.
“Hey.”
>”Hmm?”
“If you behave… it’s still pretty cold. We can uh… cuddle if you-oof!”
>”I’ll be good, promise!”
>You leaned against the gunship, Batmare curled up against your chest, and wrapped your arms around her.
>You heard the tiniest of gasps escape from her mouth, and felt her wings tense.
>They were smooth to the touch, almost like skin.
>”Wakey wakey.”
>Batmare brought you from your slumber and a bit of blood from your ear with a nip.
“OW!”
>”Teehee.”
“Don’t start this shit…”
>Batmare made the cutest face she could at you.
>Yep, it started.
>She leaned up towards you, nuzzling at your neck and nipping as gently as she could with her razor sharp teeth.
>”Is that a roll of bits in your pocket or are you happy to see me?”
>Damn you boner.
“Alright Batmare. You win. Close your eyes. I’m going to give you a surprise.”
>”Really? What is it?!”
“Just shut your eyes.”
>Batmare obediently shut her eyes with a giggle, and you picked her up in your arms as you walked across the frozen soil.
>”Where are we going?”
“Batmare, just trust me. I’m going to get you so wet you’re going to be screaming my name.”
>”Ooh, you have a naughty side after all.”
“I’m far from innocent.”
>You paused, looking around at the beautiful Equestrian tundra.
>Mountains in the distance, a few pine trees, the flowing stream.
“Ready?”
>”Can I open my eyes?”
“No. it builds the anticipation.”
>”Ok then. I guess I’m ready!”
>With a heave, you swung Batmare around, and sent her hurling into the icy stream with a splash.
>Her eyes opened at the last second, and she let out a loud shriek in surprise..
>After a moment, her head popped out of the water, and she glared back at you as you fell over laughing.
>”CHIEF! I’M GOING TO GUT YOU!”
>You quickly scrambled away from the shore and back to the gunship.
“TOLD YOU YOU WOULD BE SCREAMING MY NAME!”
>Safely inside your chopper, you watched out your window for a few minutes as Batmare fumed, drying off with a blanket.
>Eventually, you let her inside and let her sit in the gunner seat, wrapped up in a dry blanket to keep her from freezing.
>Preflight checks complete, you took off into the air.
>Estrus was weird.
“So he wasn’t in Manehattan or Fillydelphia, that leaves Applepaloosa.”
>”Just like we thought.”
“He’s still a good week ahead of us.”
>”Well on the bright side, Applepaloosa doesn’t get many outgoing trains. He should have been holed up for a few days there.”
“I hope you’re right.”
>The desert below you seemed unending as you and Batmare raced toward Applepaloosa, devoid of life bar the occasional cactus.
>Speaking of which…
“Am I ever going to find out your real name?”
>”No.”
“Got a better nickname? Batmare doesn’t really fit that well now that I know your half dragon.”
>”No.”
“Alright, how about Dovamare, Dragonpony, or Captain Titan Titties? Or how about-“
>”For the love of the night just call me Batmare!”
“Aw did someone get used to their nickname?”
>”If it shuts you up, yes!”
“…”
>”…”
“You’re off estrus aren’t you?”
>”If you weren’t flying the same machine I was in, I would so come back there right now…”
“Soooo…. Is that a yes or a no?”
>”Ugh!”
>Detecting large levels of flank fluster in this sector, mission accomplished.
>”You realize it’s getting dark?”
“I can see.”
>You flipped on the FLIR and watched the screen, hoping the town of Applepaloosa would be over the next rise.
>”Just set it down. I don’t feel like dying because of you.”
“Yes mother.”
>The landing helo kicked up a sandstorm as it came down ever so gently, chasing off any little critters that may have been lurking.
>On the ground, you and Batmare laid down in the soft white sand, pulling a blanket over each of you.
>To your surprise, Batmare laid her head on your chest, letting out a sigh.
“Uh… Estrus is over… Right?”
>”I don’t feel like getting sand in my mane.”
“Ooook then…”
>With a shrug, you laid your head back down in the sand, closing you eyes.
>Was she nuzzling you?
>You know what, you were out of fucks to give.
>You’d been on the trail of Shining Armor for almost 3 weeks now.
>You used the last one in Stalliongrad
>Celestia’s shining sun woke you the next morning, prying open your eyes from their deep slumber.
>Batmare was up as well, but her head remained on your chest.
“Morning.”
>”Morning.”
“You uh… want to get off of me?”
>”…Yeah, sure.”
>She raised up onto her hooves, stretching her powerful legs and flexing her wings, each muscle clear and defined.
>She looked down at you, and narrowed her eyes.
>”Really?”
“What-oh.”
>Boner confirmed.
“Don’t flatter yourself. It happens every morning.”
>”Whatever you have to tell yourself. Pervert.”
>Before you could say a word, Batmare hopped into the gunner seat, and got comfortable.
>She had it pretty easy since you got to ride with her. Mostly just pointing you in the direction you needed to go.
>Honestly, the whole pilot look on her was pretty adorable.
>Honestly, you must be getting pretty lonely.
>Most of the day was spent flying, you and Batmare saying very little to eachother.
>Instead, you opted for more music, until you landed in the small western style town of Applepaloosa.
>And boy, was it a reminder of the wild west.
>Then again, the map did say the “Mild West”
>Seriously, you got the horse related names.
>But “Mild West”?
>This was ridiculous.
>Still, you got in the mood, tying off your bird to a nearby fence post and patting its side.
“Good girl.”
>”I already talked to the train station manager. He was here.”
“Was?”
>”Well, he may still be here. This train station doesn’t keep a manifest…”
“Does he have any friends here?”
>”Not that I know of. If he is here, there’s one inn, so he’d be there.”
“He’s an alcoholic. If he is here, he’ll be at the bar.”
>”Good thinking. Then we can get to the inn and get a bucking shower. You stink.”
“You don’t smell like roses either you know.”
>Batmare hoofed you in the gut with a chuckle.
>You couldn’t help but remember your time back on Earth, joking around with your gunner the same way.
“Hey Bats? You’re alright.”
>”Oh can the mushy shit.”
>The bar fell in theme with the rest of the old western town outside.
>A dimly lit, smoke filled saloon, with a few round tables and a bar.
>Most of the tables were empty, save for one with three p0nies playing a game of cards.
>At the bar, a few lonely patrons drowned their sorrows away.
>Time to fulfill your dream of being a detective, and question the barkeep.
“Excuse me sir, I don’t suppose you’ve seen this stallion.”
>”I only give information to paying customers. You wanna know, buy a drink.”
>Batmare threw a handful of bits on the counter the moment his sentence was finished.
>”Whisky. Straight. For both of us.”
>The bartender nodded, and turned to the alcohol on the shelf behind him.
>”I’ll be down there if you don’t mind.”
“Go ahead.”
>The bartender poured two shots, sliding one down to Batmare, and the other to you.
“About this p0ny.”
>”I seen him. Purrty sure he left town on the 310 to the Boarean Republic.”
“When was that.”
>”Coulda been yesterday, coulda been the day before. I don’t rightly know.”
“Thanks for nothing.”
>”Wont be ‘nother train going out that way fer a few weeks. Your friend there’s goin’ be long gone by then.”
“I have a ride.”
>Your attention was suddenly pulled from the bartender to across the bar.
>”Buzz of creep.”
>”Now come on Batsy. I got a bad case of the blues and you look like just the thing I need.”
>You chuckled as the stallion placed a hoof on her flank, and was quickly thrown across the bar and into a table.
>The stallions two buddies leapt to their feet from their poker game, and glared at Batmare who had a broken bottle in hoof.
>You were about to live out another thing on your bucket list.
>Mid-charge, you swung a barstool into the face of the charging pony, bringing him to the ground.
>The other two charged you, and you threw the barstool at them, delaying them long enough for you to draw your 1911 and fire a shot.
>The loud bang halted all movement in the bar, save for the stallion that crumpled to the ground.
>He looked down at the hole in his leg, eyes wide in shock as bright red blood spurted out, dappling his blue coat.
“Now the nice mare asked you to leave her alone. I’d do as she says.”
>”What’d you do to my leg?!”
“Hold still and you won’t bleed out.”
>You quickly tied a rag around the bullet wound, snugging it down quick to cause a bit of discomfort to the p0ny.
>Looking up at the other two p0nies, you couldn’t help but grin.
“You two may want to get him to a surgeon.”
>The p0nies nodded dumbly, quickly throwing their buddy on their backs and shot out of the bar.
>”I had it handled.”
“Sure you di- Are you drunk already?”
>”I had one drink what do you think?”
“Just checking.”
>As you left, you couldn’t help but notice Batmare stumble behind you, and you threw her over your shoulder.
“One drink huh?”
>”One bottle.”
“Lightweight.”
>”Oh whatever.”
>You chuckled as you walked the rest of the way to the inn and checked in at the front desk with an old mare
>”Aww how sweet… I remember passing out in my special someponies embrace. Course that was so long ago…”
“We aren’t together ma’am. Just need a room for the night.”
>”Hmph. No class these days… 5 bits for a night.”
>You dropped the 5 bits on the counter and grabbed the key to your room.
>Once inside, you chucked her on the bed, and got your own shower.
>Batmare could get hers in the morning, poor girl was too drunk to walk straight.
>You didn’t even bother taking your flight suit off, instead choosing to wash it and yourself up in one, long shower.
>Lord knew it stank, he could probably smell it from his nice pearly throne.
>Or was it a gold throne?
>Whatever his throne was made of, he could smell it.
>As you crawled into bed, Batmare rose her head up, staring at you with those predatory eyes of hers.
“Go back to sleep.”
>”I want to know something.”
“Then ask.”
>”Why did you stick up for me?”
“You needed the help.”
>”No I didn’t. And after all that shit I gave you, you still helped out.”
“We’re friends.”
>”We are?”
“Do you enjoy giving me shit?”
>”Well, yeah, kind of.”
“It’s a way to blow off some steam. We’ve been on this stupid mission together for almost a month”
>”So, when you call me names, and make fun of me…”
“I’m just messing with you.”
>”That’s… weird.”
“You never did it during your training?”
>“No, not really. I was picked on for being a mare but…”
“You’re a hell of a navigator Bats. It’s been fun flying with you.”
>”Thanks…”
“Now go the fuck to sleep.”
>With your back turned to Batmare, you closed your eyes and began drifting off to sleep.
>You didn’t get to though, because that warm fuzzy feeling of a p0ny snuggling up against your backside.
“Bats, you have a pillow, there’s no sand, and we have a big blanket.”
>”I just want to cuddle…”
“Fine. Keep your hooves to yourself.”
>Clicking off the lamp, the entire room was cloaked in darkness, as was Batmare.
>The bed shifted, and a set of p0ny lips met your cheek.
“Bats.”
>”I’ll be good.”
>After a few minutes of shifting you found a comfortable spot on your back, with Batmare resting her head on your chest, her ear listening to the steady beat of your heart.
>This… wasn’t so bad.
>Putting an arm around Batmare, you drifted off to sleep.

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>you woke up to a warm fuzzy feeling.
>sleeping at the inn was definitely a morale booster.
>after sleeping against a helicopter, this bed was amazing.
>something did feel off though…
>there was a warm fuzzy feeling still, but it was mostly at your backside
>for a moment, you forgot exactly where you were.
“Cadence…?”
>you felt the unmistakable sensation of a p0ny nuzzling the back of your neck, and you rolled over.
“Morning Cad-AHHHHHHH!”
 >Batmare, who had moved over in her sleep and snuggled against you, snapped awake.
>”AHHHHHHHH!”
“AHHHHHHHH!”
>”AHHHHHHHH!”
>Batmare scrambled away from you, falling off the edge of the bed and landing with a thud.
>her head poked up, her golden eyes burning a hole through you.
>”I told you to stay on your side!”
“I am on my side! You came here!”
>”I did not!”
“Did too!”
>”Shut up! It doesn’t matter! Let’s just… go!”
>Batmare trotted over to her cloak and quickly put it on, disguising her bat like figure, and you headed to the gunship together.
>”Hurry up, we have a long flight ahead of us.”
“It’d go quicker if you suck it up and get in the damn helicopter.”
>”In your dreams.”
“We’ve established that I can fly faster than you, and that both of us just want this mission to be over with.”
>”Ugh, fine. Open up.”
>You leaned forward and unlatched the gunner’s entrance, pushing the window pane out so Batmare could get inside.
>”This is uncomfortable.”
“Deal with it. Now sit down, strap in, and don’t touch shit.”
>”Whatever.”
>You took off into the air, and began racing north toward Stalliongrad.
>”Hey, should we have told Twilight what happened?”
“Our job is to get information to track Shiny down. Twilight wouldn’t give us information we needed if she knew we were going to kill him.”
>”What if we had told her the whole story?”
“Would have taken too long. Besides, we have the information we need, quit worrying about it.”
>”You sure you never did this before?”
“I’m sure. I’m putting on some music. If you need me, tap your helmet. Other than that, don’t touch anything.”
>”Yeah yeah, Just put on the tunes.”
>You flicked on the tunes and sat back in your pilot seat as you flew over the rolling hills of Equestria.
>Batmare shifted uncomfortably in her seat from time to time, but didn’t complain often, mostly because of the ground you were covering.
>You fell into a routine fairly quickly, traveling by day, sleeping by night.
>The two of you didn’t talk much, which to you was an improvement.
>Then… one day…
”Hey Batmare?”
>”Hmm?”
“Sun’s going down. I’ll put us down up ahead.”
>”Oh, alright. We should only be a few hours away from Stalliongrad.”
“We’ll be well rested when we get there then.”
>You sat down about 50m from a small river, and climbed down from the gunship with Bats.
>You had traveled quite a bit into the northern part of Equestria, the weather was proof.
>Frost was already forming on the ground below you.
>”We should build a fire… It’s freezing.”
“Agreed.”
>You and Batmare got to work breaking limbs off the nearby trees that you could reach
>Once you had gathered about 20 or so pieces of wood, you drew your knife and scraped off some wood shavings into the center of the campfire before attempting to light them with your zippo.
>Soon, you and Batmare were nestled against the side of the gunship, warming yourselves by the fire.
>Batmare pulled a few blankets from the cockpit, handing you one with her mouth.
“Thanks…”
>”Welcome…”
>You helped Batmare wrap up in her own blanket before wrapping up in your own, and staring blankly into the fire.
>”You warm?”
“Not really. You?”
>”Same here… Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
>”Back at the hotel, I heard you mumble ‘Cadence’. Are you two… you know.”
“No. Hell no.”
>”You make it sound horrible. Cadence is really pretty.”
“Not my type.”
>”So, what are you two?”
“Friends. Good friends, but still just friends.”
>”So…”
>Batmare trailed off, seemingly lost in thought.
“So… what?”
>”Huh? Oh, nothing.”
“Alright, good night Bats.”
>”Night…”
>You rested your head against the fuselage of the helo, and attempted to drift off to sleep.
>As the night drug on, you found it surprisingly difficult to sleep with the cold air at your flesh.
>Suddenly, a hoof, very gently fell on your leg.
>Then another hoof, this one on your other leg.
>The first hoof moved to your shoulder, and the second hoof followed suit.
>Finally, you felt Batmare’s entire body fall onto your, pulling her body tightly against your own.
>She felt warmer than usual, but you chalked that up to the cold air making her feel that way to you.
>You could give her so much shit for this, but it was pretty cold, maybe one night of cuddling and sharing body heat wouldn’t hurt.
>With your new found cuddle buddy, you finally drifted off to sleep.
>You awoke to a sharp pain in your ear.
>”Wakey wakey.”
>What in the actual fuck?”
“What in the actual fuck?”
>Batmare nipped at your ear again, drawing a bit of blood.
>You quickly shoved her off, holding your ear in pain.
>”Heyyyyyyy.”
“What are you doing?!”
>”Just playing…”
“You bit my ear!”
>”Chiefers… don’t be so mean.”
“What the hell did you just call me?”
>”Chiefers. Do you not like that name?”
“No.”
>”How about Anoners?”
”NO!”
>”Chiefy?”
“Not just no, HELL NO!”
>”Aw come on, quit being so difficult!”
>Batmare placed her forelegs back on your thighs, pushing her face closer to your own.
>He golden snake eyes were half lidded, her smile toothy..
>He fangs gleamed in the morning light.
“Nopenopenopenope-mmmmph!”
>Batmare lunged in, pressing her mouth against your own, forcing her tongue inside your own mouth.
>It almost tickled in not one, but two places on the roof of your mouth, and you couldn’t help but gag.
>Pushing Batmare back again, you gagged and coughed for a few moments before looking over at Batmare, who flicked her tongue at you.
”You have a forked tongue?!”
>”Mhmm.”
“Are you trying to fuck with my head, or are you actually trying to hit on me?”
>”Well I… uh… is either happening?”
“Yeah, you’re creeping me out!”
>”Oh…”
>You snatched the blanket and rolled them both up, pitching them in the helicopter.
>”Am I that… ugly?”
>You let out a sigh, resting your forehead against the fuselage of the helicopter.
”No Batmare. I’m really just not attracted to any of you p0nies like that. You’re all cute but… more like a puppy dog.”
>“Am I cute?”
”I just said I’m not attracted-“
>“Not like that. Just, compared to other p0nies.”
“I… I guess?”
>”That’s a no… I wasn’t always this way. Magic turned me into this when I enlisted under Luna’s guard.”
“Look. You’re the most… unique p0ny I’ve met. Honestly, you look pretty badass.”
>”Badass doesn’t attract stallions.”
“It can. Why the hell are you trying to attract ME though? A week ago you were ready to rip my throat out.”
>”Well, it’s my estrus cycle… and you’re the only male anything for… who knows how far.”
“Estrus?”
>”Like… mating season.”
“You’re trying to have my kid? Is that even possible?”
>”No no no, the chances that our species is compatible is… well… 0. I just need some… relief…”
“Oh… Ohhhhh.”
>”Sorry, I’ll just put up and shut up.”
“Sorry to say that might be best. Ready to go?”
>”Yeah… let’s ride.”
>Batmare hopped up in the gunship with you, and you flew the last few hours to Stalliongrad.
>As she had said, you were flying over the city before noon, and you flicked off the music.
>”OHHHH~!”
“Uh, Bats?”
>Batmare spun around in her seat, staring back at you as if you had just walked in on her.
“ARE YOU MASTURBATING IN MY GOD DAMN HELO?”
>”What?! NO!”
“THAT’S FUCKING NASTY!”
>”I’m… I’m… I’m… Well I’m not masturbating!”
“You better not get you mare fluids all over my seat. Go to the bathroom or something. We’ll be landing soon.”
>Batmare didn’t even waste time with landing.
>She dove out of the cockpit and went straight into the train station.
>You sat down in a courtyard in the middle of the desolate train station, and began walking toward the ticket counter where you regrouped with Batmare
>She was already questioning a red p0ny at the counter.
>”I TELL YOU P0NY IN SHINING ARMOR NO COME HERE! HAVE GOOD DAY!”
>”He’s not in shining armor. His NAME is Shining Armor. Look at the picture!”
>”WHITE P0NY VERY RARE YES? NO! HE HAS NOT BEEN HERE! MANIFEST SAYS SO AS WELL!”
>”Quit shouting!”
>”AM NOT SHOUTING! THIS IS NORMAL VOICE!”
>”Are you sure he wasn’t here?”
>”AM VERY SURE. NOT ON LIST. VERY FEW P0NY TRAVEL TO STALLIONGRAD.”
>You ad Batmare stepped aside and quietly talked amongst your selves.
>”That doesn’t make any sense! The Ponyville manifest said he came here.”
“You know what else doesn’t make sense?”
>”What?”
“Come on, you said it back in Ponyville.”
>”Just tell me Chiefers.”
>You couldn’t help but  glare at Batmare for the nickname.
“Why would he come up this direction anyways? Equestria has jurisdiction in Prance, Germaneigh and the Ibex Empire.”
>”So you think he didn’t come up here?”
“I think he got a ticket to Stalliongrad, and then hopped a train to another city, say Applepaloosa.”
>”Just to throw anyp0ny off his trail… Damn it!”
“Hey! Snap out of it!”
>”We just started this mission and he already shook us off. He could be anywhere now!”
“We know what direction he’s going. Look.”
>You pulled Batmare to the oversized map of Equestra, and pointed.
”He knows he can’t out run us on foot. So he’ll be relying on trains to get away as fast as possible.”
>”So, that rules out the griffon kingdom. There’s no trains that go up there. Plus there’s a lot of griffons that hate p0nies.”
“Exactly. That leaves Applepaloosa, Manehattan, and Fillydelphia. All of which are west.”
>”Any of them could be possible targets. Two of them are port cities.”
“My bits are on Applepaloosa. He wants to get as much ground as possible from us.”
>”Doesn’t he think you’re off fighting changelings?”
“He should know I’ll be back. Besides, if not me, Celestia would probably have you and all your lunar guard after him.”
>”Good point, none of us are loyal to him.”
“Enough talk. We’ll check Fillydelphia and Manehattan first. If he’s not there, we’ll head to Applepaloosa.”
>”Hopefully Shiny doesn’t shoot you down again.”
>Batmare trotted off toward the helo, flicking her tail so that is struck your posterior.
“Celestia shot me down!”
>”That’s not what I heard Chiefers.~”
>With a resound sigh, you trudged on after the Batmare, watching as she flicked her tail side to side.
>left, right, left, right.
>Each flick revealed her pink, swollen, mareho-NOPE.
>Brain you are not authorized to engage.
>”Problem, Chiefers? 
“Just get in the damn helo. And I better not catch you masturbating.”
>”I wasn’t masturbating!”
>Batmare jumped up into the gunner seat and flicked the audio feed to auxiliary.
>Guess that was your cue to play some music.

>You stopped at the same camp site you had stopped at the previous night.
>Batmare, with her fangs, had managed to get some fish for the both of you from the nearby river.
>The bones of said fish laid in front of the campfire, and in front of them, sat you and Batmare, slumped over, holding your bellies in content.
“I didn’t think p0nies ate meat.”
>”Most p0nies hate it. Implying they’ve tried it of course.”
“Implying implications.”
>”What?”
“Nothing, go on.”
>”Whatever. I’m not a normal p0ny. So I kind of like the stuff on occasion.”
“No, you look pretty normal.”
>”Wait, really?”
“Sarcasm, Bats.”
>”Right, well, wanna take a legit guess at what I am?”
>Batmare looked up at you with those cute golden eyes of hers.
>Cute?
>Ok, they were sort of cute.
“I’m sticking to half bat.”
>”Wrong. Half dragon. Sort of…”
“There’s dragons here? And how are you ‘sorta’ half dragon?”
>”Magic.”
“That seems to be the answer for everything in this place.”
>”Yeah, you’ll get use to it. But yeah, the tongue, the eyes, the sharp teeth, the wings.”
“Why dragon? Why not something else?”
>”Have you ever seen a dragon?”
“No.”
>”They’re scary. So I guess the idea was if the night guard is scary, criminals wouldn’t resist as much.”
“Fair enough.”
>”I hear there’s two guards that really are half dragon. I don’t know who though. We all look the same.”
”Don’t dragons live a long time?”
>”I thought you never seen one.”
“They’re fables where I come from.”
>”Well, yeah, they live thousands of years. The half dragons are supposedly from before Luna was sent to the moon. So they’d be over 1000 years old too.”
“How old are you, 300, 500? It’s impossible to tell with you p0nies.”
>Batmare chuckled.
>Funny, you never heard her laugh until now.
>”I’m twenty. You know it’s not polite to ask a mare her age.”
“Right… my mistake.”
>”It’s alright Chiefers.”
“Don’t start that. Please.”
>”Heh, right. Sorry about that. We should get some rest.”
>Batmare pulled her blanket over her and laid down on the icy ground.
“Hey.”
>”Hmm?”
“If you behave… it’s still pretty cold. We can uh… cuddle if you-oof!”
>”I’ll be good, promise!”
>You leaned against the gunship, Batmare curled up against your chest, and wrapped your arms around her.
>You heard the tiniest of gasps escape from her mouth, and felt her wings tense.
>They were smooth to the touch, almost like skin.


>”Wakey wakey.”
>Batmare brought you from your slumber and a bit of blood from your ear with a nip.
“OW!”
>”Teehee.”
“Don’t start this shit…”
>Batmare made the cutest face she could at you.
>Yep, it started.
>She leaned up towards you, nuzzling at your neck and nipping as gently as she could with her razor  sharp teeth.
>”Is that a roll of bits in your pocket or are you happy to see me?”
>Damn you boner.
“Alright Batmare. You win. Close your eyes. I’m going to give you a surprise.”
>”Really? What is it?!”
“Just shut your eyes.”
>Batmare obediently shut her eyes with a giggle, and you picked her up in your arms as you walked across the frozen soil.
>”Where are we going?”
“Batmare, just trust me. I’m going to get you so wet you’re going to be screaming my name.”
>”Ooh, you have a naughty side after all.”
“I’m far from innocent.”
>You paused, looking around at the beautiful Equestrian tundra.
>Mountains in the distance, a few pine trees, the flowing stream.
“Ready?”
>”Can I open my eyes?”
“No. it builds the anticipation.”
>”Ok then. I guess I’m ready!”
>With a heave, you swung Batmare around, and sent her hurling into the icy stream with a splash.
>Her eyes opened at the last second, and she let out a loud shriek in surprise..
>After a moment, her head popped out of the water, and she glared back at you as you fell over laughing.
>”CHIEF! I’M GOING TO GUT YOU!”
>You quickly scrambled away from the shore and back to the gunship.
“TOLD YOU YOU WOULD BE SCREAMING MY NAME!”
>Safely inside your chopper, you watched out your window for a few minutes as Batmare fumed, drying off with a blanket.
>Eventually, you let her inside and let her sit in the gunner seat, wrapped up in a dry blanket to keep her from freezing.
>Preflight checks complete, you took off into the air.
>Estrus was weird.
“So he wasn’t in Manehattan or Fillydelphia, that leaves Applepaloosa.”
>”Just like we thought.”
“He’s still a good week ahead of us.”
>”Well on the bright side, Applepaloosa doesn’t get many outgoing trains. He should have been holed up for a few days there.”
“I hope you’re right.”
>The desert below you seemed unending as you and Batmare raced toward Applepaloosa, devoid of life bar the occasional cactus.
>Speaking of which…
“Am I ever going to find out your real name?”
>”No.”
“Got a better nickname? Batmare doesn’t really fit that well now that I know your half dragon.”
>”No.”
“Alright, how about Dovamare, Dragonpony, or Captain Titan Titties? Or how about-“
>”For the love of the night just call me Batmare!”
“Aw did someone get used to their nickname?”
>”If it shuts you up, yes!”
“…”
>”…”
“You’re off estrus aren’t you?”
>”If you weren’t flying the same machine I was in, I would so come back there right now…”
“Soooo…. Is that a yes or a no?”
>”Ugh!”
>Detecting large levels of flank fluster in this sector, mission accomplished.
>”You realize it’s getting dark?”
“I can see.”
>You flipped on the FLIR and watched the screen, hoping the town of Applepaloosa would be over the next rise.
>”Just set it down. I don’t feel like dying because of you.”
“Yes mother.”
>The landing helo kicked up a sandstorm as it came down ever so gently, chasing off any little critters that may have been lurking.
>On the ground, you and Batmare laid down in the soft white sand, pulling a blanket over each of you.
>To your surprise, Batmare laid her head on your chest, letting out a sigh.
“Uh… Estrus is over… Right?”
>”I don’t feel like getting sand in my mane.”
“Ooook then…”
>With a shrug, you laid your head back down in the sand, closing you eyes.
>Was she nuzzling you?
>You know what, you were out of fucks to give.
>You’d been on the trail of Shining Armor for almost 3 weeks now.
>You used the last one in Stalliongrad

>Celestia’s shining sun woke you the next morning, prying open your eyes from their deep slumber.
>Batmare was up as well, but her head remained on your chest.
“Morning.”
>”Morning.”
“You uh… want to get off of me?”
>”…Yeah, sure.”
>She raised up onto her hooves, stretching her powerful legs and flexing her wings, each muscle clear and defined.
>She looked down at you, and narrowed her eyes.
>”Really?”
“What-oh.”
>Boner confirmed.
“Don’t flatter yourself. It happens every morning.” 
>”Whatever you have to tell yourself. Pervert.”
>Before you could say a word, Batmare hopped into the gunner seat, and got comfortable.
>She had it pretty easy since you got to ride with her. Mostly just pointing you in the direction you needed to go.
>Honestly, the whole pilot look on her was pretty adorable.
>Honestly, you must be getting pretty lonely.
>Most of the day was spent flying, you and Batmare saying very little to eachother.
>Instead, you opted for more music, until you landed in the small western style town of Applepaloosa.
>And boy, was it a reminder of the wild west.
>Then again, the map did say the “Mild West”
>Seriously, you got the horse related names.
>But “Mild West”? 
>This was ridiculous.
>Still, you got in the mood, tying off your bird to a nearby fence post and patting its side.
“Good girl.”
>”I already talked to the train station manager. He was here.”
“Was?”
>”Well, he may still be here. This train station doesn’t keep a manifest…”
“Does he have any friends here?”
>”Not that I know of. If he is here, there’s one inn, so he’d be there.”
“He’s an alcoholic. If he is here, he’ll be at the bar.”
>”Good thinking. Then we can get to the inn and get a bucking shower. You stink.”
“You don’t smell like roses either you know.”
>Batmare hoofed you in the gut with a chuckle.
>You couldn’t help but remember your time back on Earth, joking around with your gunner the same way.
“Hey Bats? You’re alright.”
>”Oh can the mushy shit.”
>The bar fell in theme with the rest of the old western town outside.
>A dimly lit, smoke filled saloon, with a few round tables and a bar.
>Most of the tables were empty, save for one with three p0nies playing a game of cards.
>At the bar, a few lonely patrons drowned their sorrows away.
>Time to fulfill your dream of being a detective, and question the barkeep.
“Excuse me sir, I don’t suppose you’ve seen this stallion.”
>”I only give information to paying customers. You wanna know, buy a drink.”
>Batmare threw a handful of bits on the counter the moment his sentence was finished.
>”Whisky. Straight. For both of us.”
>The bartender nodded, and turned to the alcohol on the shelf behind him.
>”I’ll be down there if you don’t mind.”
“Go ahead.”
>The bartender poured two shots, sliding one down to Batmare, and the other to you.
“About this p0ny.”
>”I seen him. Purrty sure he left town on the 310 to the Boarean Republic.”
“When was that.”
>”Coulda been yesterday, coulda been the day before. I don’t rightly know.”
“Thanks for nothing.”
>”Wont be ‘nother train going out that way fer a few weeks. Your friend there’s goin’ be long gone by then.”
“I have a ride.”
>Your attention was suddenly pulled from the bartender to across the bar.
>”Buzz of creep.”
>”Now come on Batsy. I got a bad case of the blues and you look like just the thing I need.”
>You chuckled as the stallion placed a hoof on her flank, and was quickly thrown across the bar and into a table.
>The stallions two buddies leapt to their feet from their poker game, and glared at Batmare who had a broken bottle in hoof.
>You were about to live out another thing on your bucket list.
>Mid-charge, you swung a barstool into the face of the charging pony, bringing him to the ground.
>The other two charged you, and you threw the barstool at them, delaying them long enough for you to draw your 1911 and fire a shot.
>The loud bang halted all movement in the bar, save for the stallion that crumpled to the ground.
>He looked down at the hole in his leg, eyes wide in shock as bright red blood spurted out, dappling his blue coat.
“Now the nice mare asked you to leave her alone. I’d do as she says.”
>”What’d you do to my leg?!”
“Hold still and you won’t bleed out.”
>You quickly tied a rag around the bullet wound, snugging it down quick to cause a bit of discomfort to the p0ny.
>Looking up at the other two p0nies, you couldn’t help but grin.
“You two may want to get him to a surgeon.”
>The p0nies nodded dumbly, quickly throwing their buddy on their backs and shot out of the bar.
>”I had it handled.”
“Sure you di- Are you drunk already?”
>”I had one drink what do you think?”
“Just checking.”
>As you left, you couldn’t help but notice Batmare stumble behind you, and you threw her over your shoulder.
“One drink huh?”
>”One bottle.”
“Lightweight.”
>”Oh whatever.”
>You chuckled as you walked the rest of the way to the inn and checked in at the front desk with an old mare
>”Aww how sweet… I remember passing out in my special someponies embrace. Course that was so long ago…”
“We aren’t together ma’am. Just need a room for the night.”
>”Hmph. No class these days… 5 bits for a night.”
>You  dropped the 5 bits on the counter and grabbed the key to your room.
>Once inside, you chucked her on the bed, and got your own shower.
>Batmare could get hers in the morning, poor girl was too drunk to walk straight.
>You didn’t even bother taking your flight suit off, instead choosing to wash it and yourself up in one, long shower.
>Lord knew it stank, he could probably smell it from his nice pearly throne.
>Or was it a gold throne?
>Whatever his throne was made of, he could smell it.
>As you crawled into bed, Batmare rose her head up, staring at you with those predatory eyes of hers.
“Go back to sleep.”
>”I want to know something.”
“Then ask.”
>”Why did you stick up for me?”
“You needed the help.”
>”No I didn’t. And after all that shit I gave you, you still helped out.”
“We’re friends.”
>”We are?”
“Do you enjoy giving me shit?”
>”Well, yeah, kind of.”
“It’s a way to blow off some steam. We’ve been on this stupid mission together for almost a month”
>”So, when you call me names, and make fun of me…”
“I’m just messing with you.”
>”That’s… weird.”
“You never did it during your training?”
>“No, not really. I was picked on for being a mare but…”
“You’re a hell of a navigator Bats. It’s been fun flying with you.”
>”Thanks…”
“Now go the fuck to sleep.”
>With your back turned to Batmare, you closed your eyes and began drifting off to sleep.
>You didn’t get to though, because that warm fuzzy feeling of a p0ny snuggling up against your backside.
“Bats, you have a pillow, there’s no sand, and we have a big blanket.”
>”I just want to cuddle…”
“Fine. Keep your hooves to yourself.”
>Clicking off the lamp, the entire room was cloaked in darkness, as was Batmare.
>The bed shifted, and a set of p0ny lips met your cheek.
“Bats.”
>”I’ll be good.”
>After a few minutes of shifting you found a comfortable spot on your back, with Batmare resting her head on your chest, her ear listening to the steady beat of your heart.
>This… wasn’t so bad.
>Putting an arm around Batmare, you drifted off to sleep.

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