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Helo Thunder Chapter 2

By: RT_pony on Jun 18th, 2012 | syntax: None | size: 33.39 KB | hits: 583 | expires: Never

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>”Anonymous?”
>You let out a yawn and rubbed your eyes, slowly adjusting to the light shining through the windows.
>You could see a pastel rainbow flowing in front you.
>Pastel rainbow…
>Your eyes shot open and you looked over to your left.
>Princes Celestia stood at your bedside, looking down at you.
“Princess!”
>You grabbed at the covers, which had thankfully moved only a little in your slumber.
>”I didn’t mean to startle you, but the sun has risen, and we have a discussion that needs to take place.”
“I uh… I know. Could you give me a few minutes to get ready?”
>”I see no harm in delaying a few minutes…”
>Celestia stepped a few steps back, but her eyes remained fixated on you.
“Princess, I realize your kind doesn’t seem to wear clothes, but we humans do. It’s considered indecent to be without them in front of someone.”
>”Oh?” Celestia cocked her head slightly, “Ohhhhh! I apologize Anonymous. I’ll be outside your door. Please do not take too long.”
>Celestia wheeled around and exited the room, and you quickly made your way to the bathroom.
>Thankfully there was some soap and shampoo, and even a mint for your nasty breath
>After a quick, but refreshing shower, you donned your crusty flight suit, and stepped outside.
>”You smell rather pleasant now.”
“Was I that bad Princess?”
>Celestia only chuckled and began walking down the stairs with you in tow.
>”You smelled less than pleasant, though I can’t blame you. Those cells are quite old, and we don’t use them often.”
“I understand. I… where’s my bird?”
>You both passed by the spot you had crashed, the earth dug up from the 17000 pound piece of metal still dug up.
>”Your… bird?”
“The big metal thing I flew in.”
>”That is the oddest bird I have ever seen.”
“Ok, it’s not an actual bird.”
>”Do tell.”
>The two of you stepped into a dining hall, where several ponies looked up from the long table and stared at you in silence.
>”Hmm… Perhaps we should go somewhere a bit more private.”
>Celestia led you past the long table and to a door at the far end of the dining hall.
>With every step you took, you could feel each pair of eyes in the room scrutinize you more and more.
>The two of you stepped through an oak door, and into a room with several large windows.
>There was a few bookshelves lined up against the wall, and a table towards the window, which had a few large plush pillows made of red velvet and trimmed with gold threads.
>Celestia stepped through the door and onto a balcony, where what seemed to be a servant wrote down what she wanted to eat.
>”Anon? Would you like something to eat?”
“Eggs, bacon, toast, some coffee please.”
>The servant hurried off to place your orders, and Celestia say on a large pillow she bought from inside.
“You never told me what happened to my bird.”
>”We have other matters to discuss first.”
“That thing is my responsibility. I won’t talk if you don’t tell me what happened to it.”
>”Chief Warrant Officer Anonymous, do you forget that you are still considered a prisoner of war?”
>You didn’t exactly have a response for that one.
>”I could quite easily send you back to the cell block so the guards could hit you some more.”
“Alright, I understand Princess.”
>”Good, I really don’t want you to go back to the cell block.”
>The servant came back, placing your respective plate in front of you.
>This bacon looked raw…
>You took a bite regardless, and instantly coughed it out.
“This is hay!”
>”Is haybacon made of another substance where you come from?”
“Yeah, pig.”
>Celestia put a hoof over her mouth in disgust.
“I guess you p0nies are vegetarians…”
>”I do not think you will be well suited to Equestria. Perhaps the Griffon Kingdom…”
“I don’t plan on staying Princess. Once my bird is repaired I plan on getting back home. I have a letter to write…”
>”About the changelings…”
“Right, I suppose we should take care of business…”
>You took a bite of the fluffy scrambled eggs in front of you.
“I’ll start from the beginning. Like you, my country is in a state of war. What I fly is classified as a gunship. It’s meant to provide air to ground… sorry, I’m getting off topic.”
>Celestia took a sip of her drink and a small bite of her pastry, giving no response.
“Chrysalis, the queen, somehow brought me to this world. Magic I’m assuming. She… she killed my friend, and said that if I didn’t assist her in her invasion, I was next.”
>”I suspected as much… I’m sorry for your loss.”
“I aided them because I wanted to go home. I have nothing against you p0nies. I’m sorry.”
>”Were you and your friend close?”
>You took a sip of your coffee, staring down at it as your mind drifted back to all the memories you two shared, ever since flight school.
“Yeah, we were close…”
>”If I pardon you, what are you going to do?”
“Attempt to fix my bird, fly back to the changeling hive, and demand to be sent home.”
>”And if they don’t send you home?”
“I can operate the weapons from the pilot seat if I need to…”
>”So more death then?”
“They killed my friend Celestia.”
>”You do realize there’s thousands of them still? They’ll swarm you.”
>You only shrugged.
>Celestia sighed
>”We constructed a small building to house the wreckage of your “bird” and my court unicorns have been examining it. I can take you to it if you wish.”
“Does this mean I’m pardoned?”
>”You… are pardoned. Yes. You may reside here, in the castle, until you fix your… must we refer to it as a bird?”
“How about gunship?”
>”You may stay until your gunship is repaired.”
“And if I can’t repair it?”
>”…You may stay until it’s repaired. Though I can’t keep you in your current quarters very long.”
“Do your servants have quarters?”
>”They live on their own in the city. I do not have slaves, if that is what you’re implying.”
>As you swallowed the last of your breakfast, Celestia pointed to a structure in the courtyard, little more than a large piece of metal that was curve to form the walls and ceiling.
>”Your gunship is in there, you’re welcome to get started on the repairs.”
“Thank you. Perhaps I’ll see you around Princess.”
>You stood up and walked down the stairs which led out into the courtyard, and you made your way to the makeshift hangar.
>Up on her little balcony, Celestia took a sip of her tea, stirring it with a spoon.
>”It’s impolite to eavesdrop sister.”
>Luna uncloaked herself, and stepped into the sunlight.
>”You granted him a pardon too easily.”
>”He will either fix his gunship and leave, or he won’t be able to and be of no danger to us.”
>“What if he returns with his gunship to destroy us? What if he brings more?”
>”He wont.”
>”How do you know sister?”
>”Because he proved he wasn’t a killer when he broke out of his cell.”
>Luna remained silent.
>”Do you have anything else you’d like to discuss?”
>”I’m going to bed.”
>”Sleep well dear sister.”
>Yeah, your bird was FUBAR.
>Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition.
>The tail had been severed, the only thing keeping it connected was the wires that ran to the tail rotor.
>The 30mm was ripped off of its mount, but still connected by a the wires as well.
>The worst part was the right engine, which Celestia had personally taken out.
>It was toasted, literally.
>That energy beam burned through the armor with the power of the sun.
>Didn’t she have a sun tattooed on her flank?
>Luna had a crescent moon, perhaps they were both obsessed with astronomy.
>Whatever, it was time to focus.
>You popped open one of the hatches on the side of the gunship and retrieved a tool bag.
>A small stick welder, an adjustable wrench, wire cutters, electrical tape, duct tape, and a few various other little tools.
“Let’s do this.”
>You went over to the tail of the aircraft, attempting to pull it up.
>It wouldn’t budge.
“Ok, maybe the 30 Mike Mike.”
>You walked over to it, but quickly realized there was no picking up this monstrosity either.
>Tool bag in hand, you climbed up the chopper, and began disassembling the engine.
>You really wish you had a pen and paper to write everything down, keep track of which bolts went where.
>Not 30 minutes into the whole process, you had removed the engine cover, and set it aside to examine the engine itself.
>You were way over your head.
>Sure, you spent a few days in the maintenance bay, helping mechanics with some tasks.
>You even paid attention to some minor engine repairs.
>But you had never seen one this fried, nor had you personally taken one apart.
>”Chief Warrant Officer Anonymous?”
>You quickly raised your head from the engine, whacking it on a rotor.
“SHIT!”
>”Are you alright?”
“Yeah… just a bump.”
>It probably wasn’t a good idea to swear in front of the Princess.
“Pardon my language.”
>”It’s alright, you acknowledge the fact that your language is vulgar.”
“Did you want to talk to me about something?”
>You hopped down from the chopper, landing on the ground with a soft thud.
>”I have a few reasons for being here. First and foremost, I’m trying to convince the court unicorns to aid you in your repairs.”
“Aren’t you a monarch? Don’t they HAVE to do what you say?”
>”Would you rather me order them to help you, or ask them to help you?”
>She had a point; “voluntold” help was always terrible.
“I… I don’t think I can fix this without some kind of help.”
>”I see… would you tell me about it? I am curious how such a monstrous craft can achieve flight.”
>You paused.
>Were you really about to divulge top secret military specs to the leader of a foreign nation?
>Yes, yes you were.
>You weren’t going to get too technical.
“Well, these two things right here are engines, they provide power to these blades, on top. When these spin fast enough, the unique shape pushes air down, and generates lift.”
>”And then this thing flies?”
“Yes. It flies quite well too. How do you measure wind speed?”
>”In wing power. I know of one mare that has a top speed of about sixty.”
“Shame, I’m not familiar with wing power, so I can’t explain how fast it can go. Though I was only going about half the speed I could when the changelings came.”
>”I think you could out run any of us Chief War-“
“Excuse me for interrupting, but Chief will do, as would Anonymous.”
>”Chief Anonymous?”
“That just sounds silly Princess.”
>She gave a light hearted laugh.
>”Apologies Anonymous. As I was saying, it sounds as if this thing could out run even our fastest fliers.”
“If I can get it running again, maybe we can race.”
>”Me? Oh by the sun I don’t think I would serve much of a challenge.”
“I didn’t mean you in particular Princess. Though with wings like those I would assume you to be quite fast.”
>”What’s wrong with my wings?”
“Nothing! I just meant they looked strong.”
>Celestia’s face glowed a bright pink.
“I didn’t mean it like tha-“
>You buried your face in a palm and sighed.
“Forget I said anything Princess.”
>Celestia began walking around the chopper, eyeing its parts, desperate to change the subject.
>”If those blades on top provide flight, what do the smaller ones back here do?”
“It keeps the gunship from spinning out of control.”
>”Why would it do that?”
“For every reaction in the universe, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Because these rotors spin in a certain direction, the body of the gunship wants to go another.”
>”So this little… rotor was it? It prevents that?”
“Yes. It also allows me to pivot left and right.”
>”Interesting. It seems somewhat dangerous though.”
“When these were first designed, many experts said the same thing.”
>”What powers the engines? Magic?”
“A liquid that burns easily. We call it gasoline. I couldn’t give you too many details, I only fly the thing, and this is a very advanced piece of engineering.”
>”I understand… Is that why you are uncertain you can fix it?”
“There are a few problems. I can’t lift the tail or the cannon alone. They’re too heavy.”
>”Is that is?”
“No, I also don’t have replacement parts for the right engine, which really needs to be replaced as a whole.”
>”Could I help? I may be able to learn a bit more about this in the process.”
>As uncomfortable as you were letting her get a good look under the hood, you needed help.
>Celestia was the only one in the country that was nice enough to associate herself with you, this was your best bet.
“Yeah, I could use some help.”
>”What can I do?”
“I’m going to unbolt that engine from its mount, can you hold it?”
>”Doesn’t sound too hard…”
>You climbed back up on the chopper and began unbolting the right engine from its mounts.
>A white aura surround the engine, holding it in place as you took note of where each wire went, unplugged them, and unattached the hoses.
“Should be good, go ahead and pull it off.”
>The engine levitated away and towards Celestia.
>There was a spurt of oil that seemed to arc in slow motion through the air, landing on her pristine white coat.
>That little spurt of oil was enough for her to lose concentration, and her magical field to disappear around the engine.
>Thankfully, the p0nies hadn’t laid down a floor, and the engine fell in soft mud.
>Of course, the soft mud squished from the weight, and bits of it slapped against Celestia’s coat, dirtying it further.
>Oh man, that look was priceless.
>It was taking every ounce of discipline you had to keep from laughing.
>Her face was a mix of horror, shock, and disgust, all from the odd black liquid that now dappled her coat and bits of her mane.
“Are you ok Princess?”
>”What is on me…?”
“It’s oil. You may want to go wash that off…”
>”Is it harmful?”
“Not unless you swallow it. But if you don’t hurry it will probably stain your coat.”
>”Well, if you’ll excuse me…”
“Princess?”
>”Yes?”
“Thank you for offering your help.”
>She nodded, and began trotting off, leaving you to tinker with the engine.
>For a princess, she was pretty cool.
>You continued working on the Apache’s engine into until night, with no interruptions from the passing guards or nobles.
>Once the entire engine was disassembled, it became obvious you needed replacement parts.
>You could already feel your heart sink.
>This was your ride back to the changeling hive, and back to base once you got back to Earth.
>If you got back to Earth…
>”Good morning Anonymous.”
>You looked behind you to acknowledge the voice behind you.
“Morning Princess. I’m surprised you came back to help me, given the mess you got caught in yesterday.”
>”Nothing a long bath couldn’t fix. How goes the repairs?”
“Bad.”
>You held up a piece of the engine, showing the charred remains.
“You really did a number on this engine.”
>”I’m not sure if I should apologize or not.”
“You did what was necessary. No hard feelings.”
>”Is the other engine working?”
“It is, but I need both engines to get enough power for any sustained flight.”
>”Why not use the good engine for spare parts?”
“Because then the good engine won’t work.”
>”I think I could get parts duplicated, provided they’re simple enough.”
“Duplicated?”
>”I know one unicorn that can duplicate simple tools and objects.”
“I’ll need help getting the other engine off.”
>”Well, I don’t have too much planned for today. At least I know where not to stand this time.”
>You grabbed your tool bag and climbed up on the left side of the Apache
>This time the process went a bit quicker with the procedure being a simple mirror of the other engine.
>Still, just getting it unbolted from the chopper itself took a few hours.
>Celestia stood to one side and gently set the engine down on the ground as you climbed down youself.
>”Is there anything else I can do?”
“Uh, well… I suppose you could work the dings out of the tail.”
>You pointed to how the fuselage of the aircraft had buckled from the impact.
>”That’s it?”
>A pink aura formed around the damage and the metal popped back into place a few seconds later.
>There really were no words for how you felt about this.
>All you could do was sit there with a [spoiler] ಠ_ಠ[/spoiler] blank expression on your face.
>She just bent metal without even breaking a sweat.”
“You’re showing off aren’t you Celestia?”
>”I have no idea what you mean Anonymous.”
>You looked over at Celestia, who was giving you a sheepish grin.
>In turn you couldn’t help but chuckle.
>As a wise man once said, laughter is contagious.
>In a matter of moments, the two of you were laughing like you had just seen a stand-up comic perform.
>Celestia was the first to regain her composure.
>”Oh dear, please forgive me. I’m not sure what came over me.”
“No its fine. I needed a laugh. I don’t even know why that was so funny.”
>”You should have seen your face Anonymous. It was… priceless.”
“Can you hold the tail and the rest of the chopper? I’d like to go ahead and weld this together.”
>Celesita nodded and lifted both of the bodies in the air with what seemed to be little difficulty.
>You placed your flight helmet on your head and lowered the sun visor over your eyes.
“Bring them together and hold them as perfectly still as possible.”
>The two ends of the fuselage met perfectly, and you quickly went to work, welding the two pieces together.
>Once you were done welding the tail to the body, Celestia set the bird back on the ground, and stood up off her haunches.
>”I think I’m ready for something to eat, would you like to join me?”
“I am hungry, but I should disassemble this engine while I still have daylight.”
>”I’ll bring us both a little something.”
>Celestia trotted off, leaving you to begin taking apart the engine.
>She seemed happy to be helping you out with fixing your chopper.
>Probably eager to get rid of you so everything will go back to normal for her.
>You didn’t get very far before she returned with a bag full of food, and another alicorn in tow.
>”Anon, this is my niece, Princess Cadence.”
“Afternoon Princess.”
>”So I have you to thank for Shining Armor’s behavior?”
“I’m sorry ma’am, I thought your son was a big boy that could take care of himself.”
>Cadence chuckled.
>”Do I look that old? Shining Armor is my husband.”
“I’m sorry. You all look the same age to me.”
>The two alicorns exchanged glances and grinned.
>”How old would you say we are?”
“Great, the guessing game. Mid twenties?”
>Cadence couldn’t help but laugh, and Celestia could only smile as she let you in on this bit of information.
>”Cadence here is about 300 years old,-
>You did a spit-take, luckily turning your head as to avoid spraying the royalty.
>“I won’t say how old I am, lest you spit out the rest of your drink, but I’ll tell you I’m several times that.
“How long does your average p0ny live?”
>”P0nies usually live less than a hundred years. Us alicorns, we never really die.”
>”Well aunt Celestia, I think I should get going. It was nice meeting you Anonymous.”
“Nice meeting you Princess Cadence. Sorry about your husband’s ear. He asked for it.”
>’I’m sure. I’ll see you around. Have fun with this… thing.”
>Cadence left, leaving you and Celestia to eat together in mostly silence.
“So you never die?”
>”Not from old age, but everything else yes.”
“That’s kind of cool…”
>”It has its ups and downs…”
“Like what?”
>”Well, you have to watch a lot of very special p0nies fade away.”
“… I suppose that does suck.”
>”To put it bluntly, yes.”
“Any perks?”
>”Not really. I suppose you could say I have all the time in the world to do what I want.”
“That’s something. You should travel the world.”
>”I already have.”
“Oh… Well then…”
>You took a few more bites, finishing off a muffin.
“I guess I’ll get back to work. Thank you for bringing lunch.”
>You sat back in front of the engine that laid on the ground and began disassembling it.
>Again, it went a bit faster than the first time, but it was still a painfully slow process.
>Celestia remained seated by the helicopter, watching you work.
“It’s going to be a while until I have all of the parts I need, you can go do anything you have to do.”
>”I’m actually interested in what you’re working on. You don’t mind if I watch do you?”
“Not at all, I just figured a princess would have more important things to do.”
>”You’d be surprised. My day is often full of nothing more than looking over several reports, and occasionally listening to a p0ny complain about some living condition.”
“You make it sound like you’re p0nies are ungrateful.”
>”Oh no. I do my best to make them happy, but sometimes things happen.”
>A few minutes passed by in silence, as Celestia continued to watch you disassemble the engine.
>”What does that do?”
“Injects the fuel into the engine.”
>”And that there?”
“Ignites the fuel.”
>”What about that?”
“I have no idea.”
>”Pfft.”
“What? I fly the thing, I’m not supposed to maintain it to this degree.”
>”You seem to be confident in taking it apart for not knowing what some of these parts do.”
“I don’t need to know what they do. I just need to remember where they go and how everything fits together.”
>”That makes sense I suppose.”
>You toweled off the pieces that you needed to replace and stretched them out in your hand.
“These pieces are all that I need to replace for the other engine I believe.”
>”I’ll take them to the unicorn. Go on and get some rest. You’re welcome to stay as long as you like.”
“No offense Princess, but I don’t want to stay. I just want to get home. If you need me though, I’ll be in my room.”
>”Good night Anonymous.”
>Celestia actually beat you to what you had by now deemed “the hangar” the next day.
>She was looking inside the cockpit, inspecting each gauge and control curiously.
>Though no taller than you on all fours, it was pretty obvious given the length of her body, there was no way she was fitting inside.
“Do you have those parts?”
>”Not yet Anonymous. It seems it will take a few days.”
“Lovely.”
>”Is there anything we can do until then?”
“I need to mount the 30mm. can you cold it in place while I do?”
>”Of course.”
>Celestia sat back down on the ground and lifted the auto-cannon off the ground.
“A little to the left, now toward the front… annnnnnnd hold it there.”
>You quickly welded the mount back to the fuselage of the aircraft.
>Each weld was a bit sloppy, but they were thick.
>You didn’t want to have your main weapon fall off in the middle of an engagement now did you?
>Once the mount was welded in place, you crawled into the cockpit and flipped the auxiliary power on.
>The screens in front of you flickered to life, and several errors and warning lights flashed across them.
“Engine failure, no shit?”
>”Must you use such vulgar language?”
“Apologies, it’s human nature Princess.”
>Punching a few buttons, you overrode the gunner controls, to the pilot’s seat, and swung the gun around, ensuring it still worked.
>Good, it had its full range of motion.
>You would have to wait until the engines were repaired for a test fire though.
>A series of explosions against the castle walls would probably annoy the guards.
>”What are you doing?”
“Makin sure the gun works, or at least moves.”
>”You really plan on attacking an entire hive of changelings?”
“I don’t plan on it. But I’m preparing for it. Which brings up something else I should check.”
>You set the gun to front, powered down the auxiliary power, and climbed out of the chopper.
>Kneeling beside the wings, you checked the other weapons you had.
>Didn’t you fire a pair of rockets during that invasion?
>Yeah, that one pony got dragged away by one, and the other one hit the barracks.
>But the pods were full… So that meant…
>CHEAT UNLOCKED: INFINITE AMMO
>That must mean all of the instruments weren’t off.
>You’re 30mm, rocket pods, TV missiles, and fuel were all somehow altered so that they didn’t deplete.
>Possible side effect of being teleported to Equestria?
>That would also explain how your tanks hadn’t run dry on the way to Canterlot.
>”Is something wrong?”
“No, Everything is fine. Everything is perfectly fine.”
>You could feel a grin creep across your face.
>If anything was going to fuck with you, let it be these changelings.
>“What are you going to do until those parts are replicated?”
“I can’t really do anything Princess. I suppose I’ll head to the room you were nice enough to give me, and just wait.”
>”You could always make some friends in the meantime. I or Cadence would be happy to spend time getting to know you.”
>As much as you didn’t feel like getting attached to p0nies that you planned on leaving in a few days, you didn’t have much to entertain yourself with.
“Sure, I guess hanging out for a bit wouldn’t be too bad.”
>”Dinner, tonight, in my study?”
“The place we had breakfast the first time?”
>”Mhmm.”
”I’ll be there. Don’t expect me to get dressed up. I didn’t know I was going on vacation.”
>”You’ll be fine. I’ll see you around 5 or 6.”
>Celestia trotted off, and you climbed into the pilot seat once more.
>It was nice to be back in the saddle again.
>Wait, how the hell were you going to know what time to head to dinner?
>You spent the remainder of the day in the hangar, waiting for some indication of it being time for dinner.
>Of course, sitting around with your eyes closed took its toll and you found yourself being awoken by a gentle tapping sound.
>With a yawn, you cracked open the tomb your eyes had become and looked at the source of the tapping noise.
>Cadence smiled shyly, waving a hoof at you.
>You popped open the canopy, rubbing your eyes.
>”Well hello sleepy head. You do remember your dinner reservations right?”
“Thank you. I lost track of time.”
>You climbed down from the pilot’s seat, dropping down onto the soft grass below you.
>”Well we couldn’t eat without you.”
>You and Cadence began walking alongside each other through the castle courtyard.
“You’re eating with me and Celestia?”
>”Mhmm. I thought you could use a friend.”
“That’s a sweet notion of you. Especially after I nearly bit off your husband’s ear.”
>”Shining Armor has a grudge against you but Celestia told me your story.”
“Did she?”
>”Yes… I’m sorry about your friend.”
“Thanks…”
>The two of you walked up the stairs and onto the balcony of Celestia’s study.
>Celestia was sitting at the table directly across from the one p0ny you never imagined you’d be eating with.
>Come to think of it, you never thought you’d be eating with a p0ny at all, but that was beside the point.
>Captain Shining Armor looked up from his hot tea, his non bandaged ear lying flat.
>”I couldn’t come unless he came as well, he’s protective like that. You understand, right Anon?”
“Of course, you two are married after all.”
>”Can we get this over with?”
“Now Shiny, there’s no reason we can’t be civil.”
>The Captain glared at you, then back down at his tea.
>You took a seat between the two princesses, but not exactly across from Shining Armor.
>The “seats” which were simply over plush pillows were arranged to form more of a trapezoid than a square if you connected them from across the round table.
>A servant p0ny came by, carrying a large silver platter, and placed it on the table.
>Even with the extra space between you and Celestia, it barely fit between the two of you.
“Thank you ma’am.”
>The servant blushed, bowing her head politely before disappearing back into the study.
>The p0nies each gave you an odd look, but only Shining Amor spoke.
>”Are you trying to court the servants? Are you really that low?”
“Am I low because I’m courting a p0ny, or just a servant p0ny? Implying I was in fact courting her and not being polite.”
>”Hmph. I suppose she would be in your class. Trash.”
“I come from a place where everyone is viewed as equals. And you call me uncivil. You’re a pompous ass.”
>”Now boys, calm down. Let’s just enjoy our dinner and each other’s company.”
>Cadence’s tone was disarming enough to shut her husband up, for the moment at least.
>You took a pastry off the silver tray and took a bite.
>You needed to leave this place before you got diabetes, everything they made seemed to be made with a metric shit ton of sugar.
>”So everyone is equal in your world Anonymous?”
“Many would like to think so, but in reality no.”
>”Care to explain?”
“Everyone is given the same opportunity to succeed and do well for themselves. They aren’t looked down on or put into a certain class because of what they do or what their parents did.”
>”That’s an interesting idea…”
“No society is perfect, there are always those that look down on others. Whether it be wealth, a person’s race, or even the job they do.”
>”So are humans no better than p0nies?”
“I’m not one to judge an entire race. But the Captain here is looking down on a p0ny simply for the job she holds. Therefore he is pompous ass in my eyes.”
>There was a few moments of utter silence as Shining Armor’s eye twitched.
>”As much as I’d like to defend my husband, I can’t. Sorry dear.”
>”It’s fine Cadence. As annoying as Anonymous is, he’s clever. I’ll give him that much.”
“Aw how sweet of you Shiny.”
>”You love being an antagonist don’t you Anonymous?”
“I have always tended to be an asshole Celestia, pardon my language.”
>”It’s alright.”
>”So Anonymous, do you have a wife or special somep0ny back on your planet?”
“No, at least I don’t think so. The beatings and hooves to my head have scrambled my memories somewhat.”
>You began taking a drink of water.
>”That’s a shame, you could always stay here. Celestia is single.”
>You and Celestia both did a spit take.
>”Cadence! That is quite enough!”
“No offense, but Celestia isn’t my type.”
>”Oh, and what is your type Anonymous?”
>Celestia glanced at you, seemingly hurt yet relieved at the same time.
“My type? Not a p0ny. Sorry Shiny.”
>Oh man, he was steamed at that comment.”
“Now now, no need to get upset. It’s nothing personal… Oh wait… At least you’re a nice guy! Oh wait…”
>Shining Armor was fuming now, his white face nearly matching Cadence’s in color.
>Grabbing his wine with magic, he stormed off into the castle, leaving you and the two princesses at the table nearly killing over in laughter.
>”I really shouldn’t be laughing… You did just anger my husband to the brink of insanity.”
“It’s not the first time Princess Cadence, it probably won’t be the last.”
>”How long will he have to put up with you?”
“A few days at most. As I’ve told Celestia, I don’t want to stay here for very long.”
>”That’s a shame. Variety is a nice thing when it comes to fiends.”
“You barely know me.”
>”You aren’t a bad guy Anon.”
“I’m afraid to see what qualifies as a ‘bad guy’ in your world.”
>”Chrysalis?”
“Nevermind, she was a-
>The two princesses glanced at you with looks of contempt, waiting for the vulgarity that was to come.
“She was rather unpleasant to say the least.”
>”I think you could fit in around here Anonymous.” Cadence smiled and sipped on her tea.
>”Well, I do hate to cut my own dinner short, but I have a few things I need to catch up on before the sun sets.”
“Thank you for dinner Celestia, I’ll see you tomorrow I suspect.”
>Celestia trotted off, leaving you and her niece alone at the table.
>”Would you like me to walk you back to your room?”
“I didn’t even buy you dinner first.”
>Cadence blushed, standing up from her seat.
>Good to know the humor was the same, despite being dimensions or universes apart.
>Despite the joke, she followed you across the courtyard keeping the idle chat going.
>As the two of you approached your door, you realized you left your swag on this entire time, and it was at least a 1 hour cool down on it.
“It was a pleasure to see you again Cadence.”
>”It’s nice to have somep0ny to talk to. Ever since you arrived Shining Armor has been… distant.”
“I’m sorry.”
>”A normal mare would probably have blamed you.”
“You don’t?”
>”You’ve been taken from your home, had a friend’s life taken in front of your eyes, and now you’re stuck here.”
>Wow, she had quite a level head about the whole thing.
>You extended a hand and sort of pet Cadence along the neck, bringing a faint blush to her cheeks in the setting sun’s light.
>Wait, brain, she’s not really a p0ny, she’s more like a person. You just made things awkward.
“Sorry, I was not thinking straight when I did that.”
>”I thought it was sweet, Anon. Good night, I’ll drop by tomorrow perhaps.”
>Cadence nuzzled against your shoulder for a moment as you pet her on the mane once more.
“Good night Cadence.”
>The two of you parted ways as Luna raised the moon into the sky, and you made your way to bed.

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>”Anonymous?”
>You let out a yawn and rubbed your eyes, slowly adjusting to the light shining through the windows.
>You could see a pastel rainbow flowing in front you.
>Pastel rainbow…
>Your eyes shot open and you looked over to your left.
>Princes Celestia stood at your bedside, looking down at you.
“Princess!”
>You grabbed at the covers, which had thankfully moved only a little in your slumber.
>”I didn’t mean to startle you, but the sun has risen, and we have a discussion that needs to take place.”
“I uh… I know. Could you give me a few minutes to get ready?”
>”I see no harm in delaying a few minutes…”
>Celestia stepped a few steps back, but her eyes remained fixated on you.
“Princess, I realize your kind doesn’t seem to wear clothes, but we humans do. It’s considered indecent to be without them in front of someone.”
>”Oh?” Celestia cocked her head slightly, “Ohhhhh! I apologize Anonymous. I’ll be outside your door. Please do not take too long.”
>Celestia wheeled around and exited the room, and you quickly made your way to the bathroom.
>Thankfully there was some soap and shampoo, and even a mint for your nasty breath
>After a quick, but refreshing shower, you donned your crusty flight suit, and stepped outside.
>”You smell rather pleasant now.”
“Was I that bad Princess?”
>Celestia only chuckled and began walking down the stairs with you in tow.
>”You smelled less than pleasant, though I can’t blame you. Those cells are quite old, and we don’t use them often.”
“I understand. I… where’s my bird?”
>You both passed by the spot you had crashed, the earth dug up from the 17000 pound  piece of metal still dug up.
>”Your… bird?”
“The big metal thing I flew in.”
>”That is the oddest bird I have ever seen.”
“Ok, it’s not an actual bird.”
>”Do tell.” 
>The two of you stepped into a dining hall, where several ponies looked up from the long table and stared at you in silence.
>”Hmm… Perhaps we should go somewhere a bit more private.”
>Celestia led you past the long table and to a door at the far end of the dining hall.
>With every step you took, you could feel each pair of eyes in the room scrutinize you more and more.
>The two of you stepped through an oak door, and into a room with several large windows.
>There was a few bookshelves lined up against the wall, and a table towards the window, which had a few large plush pillows made of red velvet and trimmed with gold threads.
>Celestia stepped through the door and onto a balcony, where what seemed to be a servant wrote down what she wanted to eat.
>”Anon? Would you like something to eat?”
“Eggs, bacon, toast, some coffee please.”
>The servant hurried off to place your orders, and Celestia say on a large pillow she bought from inside.
“You never told me what happened to my bird.”
>”We have other matters to discuss first.”
“That thing is my responsibility. I won’t talk if you don’t tell me what happened to it.”
>”Chief Warrant Officer Anonymous, do you forget that you are still considered a prisoner of war?”
>You didn’t exactly have a response for that one.
>”I could quite easily send you back to the cell block so the guards could hit you some more.”
“Alright, I understand Princess.”
>”Good, I really don’t want you to go back to the cell block.”
>The servant came back, placing your respective plate in front of you.
>This bacon looked raw…
>You took a bite regardless, and instantly coughed it out.
“This is hay!”
>”Is haybacon made of another substance where you come from?”
“Yeah, pig.”
>Celestia put a hoof over her mouth in disgust.
“I guess you p0nies are vegetarians…”
>”I do not think you will be well suited to Equestria. Perhaps the Griffon Kingdom…”
“I don’t plan on staying Princess. Once my bird is repaired I plan on getting back home. I have a letter to write…”
>”About the changelings…”
“Right, I suppose we should take care of business…”
>You took a bite of the fluffy scrambled eggs in front of you.
“I’ll start from the beginning. Like you, my country is in a state of war. What I fly is classified as a gunship. It’s meant to provide air to ground… sorry, I’m getting off topic.”
>Celestia took a sip of her drink and a small bite of her pastry, giving no response.
“Chrysalis, the queen, somehow brought me to this world. Magic I’m assuming. She… she killed my friend, and said that if I didn’t assist her in her invasion, I was next.”
>”I suspected as much… I’m sorry for your loss.”
“I aided them because I wanted to go home. I have nothing against you p0nies. I’m sorry.”
>”Were you and your friend close?”
>You took a sip of your coffee, staring down at it as your mind drifted back to all the memories you two shared, ever since flight school.
“Yeah, we were close…”	
>”If I pardon you, what are you going to do?”
“Attempt to fix my bird, fly back to the changeling hive, and demand to be sent home.”
>”And if they don’t send you home?”
“I can operate the weapons from the pilot seat if I need to…”
>”So more death then?”
“They killed my friend Celestia.”
>”You do realize there’s thousands of them still? They’ll swarm you.”
>You only shrugged. 
>Celestia sighed
>”We constructed a small building to house the wreckage of your “bird” and my court unicorns have been examining it. I can take you to it if you wish.”
“Does this mean I’m pardoned?”
>”You… are pardoned. Yes. You may reside here, in the castle, until you fix your… must we refer to it as a bird?”
“How about gunship?”
>”You may stay until your gunship is repaired.”
“And if I can’t repair it?”
>”…You may stay until it’s repaired. Though I can’t keep you in your current quarters very long.”
“Do your servants have quarters?”
>”They live on their own in the city. I do not have slaves, if that is what you’re implying.”
>As you swallowed the last of your breakfast, Celestia pointed to a structure in the courtyard, little more than a large piece of metal that was curve to form the walls and ceiling.
>”Your gunship is in there, you’re welcome to get started on the repairs.”
“Thank you. Perhaps I’ll see you around Princess.”
>You stood up and walked down the stairs which led out into the courtyard, and you made your way to the makeshift hangar.
>Up on her little balcony, Celestia took a sip of her tea, stirring it with a spoon.
>”It’s impolite to eavesdrop sister.”
>Luna uncloaked herself, and stepped into the sunlight.
>”You granted him a pardon too easily.”
>”He will either fix his gunship and leave, or he won’t be able to and be of no danger to us.”
>“What if he returns with his gunship to destroy us? What if he brings more?”
>”He wont.”
>”How do you know sister?”
>”Because he proved he wasn’t a killer when he broke out of his cell.”
>Luna remained silent.
>”Do you have anything else you’d like to discuss?”
>”I’m going to bed.”
>”Sleep well dear sister.”

>Yeah, your bird was FUBAR.
>Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition.
>The tail had been severed, the only thing keeping it connected was the wires that ran to the tail rotor.
>The 30mm was ripped off of its mount, but still connected by a the wires as well.
>The worst part was the right engine, which Celestia had personally taken out.
>It was toasted, literally.
>That energy beam burned through the armor with the power of the sun.
>Didn’t she have a sun tattooed on her flank?
>Luna had a crescent moon, perhaps they were both obsessed with astronomy.
>Whatever, it was time to focus.
>You popped open one of the hatches on the side of the gunship and retrieved a tool bag.
>A small stick welder, an adjustable wrench, wire cutters, electrical tape, duct tape, and a few various other little tools.
“Let’s do this.”
>You went over to the tail of the aircraft, attempting to pull it up.
>It wouldn’t budge.
“Ok, maybe the 30 Mike Mike.”
>You walked over to it, but quickly realized there was no picking up this monstrosity either.
>Tool bag in hand, you climbed up the chopper, and began disassembling the engine.
>You really wish you had a pen and paper to write everything down, keep track of which bolts went where.
>Not 30 minutes into the whole process, you had removed the engine cover, and set it aside to examine the engine itself.
>You were way over your head.
>Sure, you spent a few days in the maintenance bay, helping mechanics with some tasks.
>You even paid attention to some minor engine repairs.
>But you had never seen one this fried, nor had you personally taken one apart.
>”Chief Warrant Officer Anonymous?”
>You quickly raised your head from the engine, whacking it on a rotor.
“SHIT!”
>”Are you alright?”
“Yeah… just a bump.”
>It probably wasn’t a good idea to swear in front of the Princess.
“Pardon my language.”
>”It’s alright, you acknowledge the fact that your language is vulgar.”
“Did you want to talk to me about something?”
>You hopped down from the chopper, landing on the ground with a soft thud.
>”I have a few reasons for being here. First and foremost, I’m trying to convince the court unicorns to aid you in your repairs.”
“Aren’t you a monarch? Don’t they HAVE to do what you say?”
>”Would you rather me order them to help you, or ask them to help you?”
>She had a point; “voluntold” help was always terrible.
 “I… I don’t think I can fix this without some kind of help.”
>”I see… would you tell me about it? I am curious how such a monstrous craft can achieve flight.”
>You paused.
>Were you really about to divulge top secret military specs to the leader of a foreign nation?
>Yes, yes you were.
>You weren’t going to get too technical.
“Well, these two things right here are engines, they provide power to these blades, on top. When these spin fast enough, the unique shape pushes air down, and generates lift.”
>”And then this thing flies?”
“Yes. It flies quite well too. How do you measure wind speed?”
>”In wing power. I know of one mare that has a top speed of about sixty.”
“Shame, I’m not familiar with wing power, so I can’t explain how fast it can go. Though I was only going about half the speed I could when the changelings came.”
>”I think you could out run any of us Chief War-“
“Excuse me for interrupting, but Chief will do, as would Anonymous.”
>”Chief Anonymous?”
“That just sounds silly Princess.”
>She gave a light hearted laugh.
>”Apologies Anonymous. As I was saying, it sounds as if this thing could out run even our fastest fliers.”
“If I can get it running again, maybe we can race.”
>”Me? Oh by the sun I don’t think I would serve much of a challenge.”
“I didn’t mean you in particular Princess. Though with wings like those I would assume you to be quite fast.”
>”What’s wrong with my wings?”
“Nothing! I just meant they looked strong.”
>Celestia’s face glowed a bright pink.
“I didn’t mean it like tha-“
>You buried your face in a palm and sighed.
“Forget I said anything Princess.”
>Celestia began walking around the chopper, eyeing its parts, desperate to change the subject.
>”If those blades on top provide flight, what do the smaller ones back here do?”
“It keeps the gunship from spinning out of control.”
>”Why would it do that?”
“For every reaction in the universe, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Because these rotors spin in a certain direction, the body of the gunship wants to go another.”
>”So this little… rotor was it? It prevents that?”
“Yes. It also allows me to pivot left and right.”
>”Interesting. It seems somewhat dangerous though.”
“When these were first designed, many experts said the same thing.”
>”What powers the engines? Magic?”
“A liquid that burns easily. We call it gasoline. I couldn’t give you too many details, I only fly the thing, and this is a very advanced piece of engineering.”
>”I understand… Is that why you are uncertain you can fix it?”
“There are a few problems. I can’t lift the tail or the cannon alone. They’re too heavy.”
>”Is that is?”
“No, I also don’t have replacement parts for the right engine, which really needs to be replaced as a whole.”
>”Could I help? I may be able to learn a bit more about this in the process.”
>As uncomfortable as you were letting her get a good look under the hood, you needed help.
>Celestia was the only one in the country that was nice enough to associate herself with you, this was your best bet.
“Yeah, I could use some help.”
>”What can I do?”
“I’m going to unbolt that engine from its mount, can you hold it?”
>”Doesn’t sound too hard…”
>You climbed back up on the chopper and began unbolting the right engine from its mounts.
>A white aura surround the engine, holding it in place as you took note of where each wire went, unplugged them, and unattached the hoses.
“Should be good, go ahead and pull it off.”
>The engine levitated away and towards Celestia.
>There was a spurt of oil that seemed to arc in slow motion through the air, landing on her pristine white coat.
>That little spurt of oil was enough for her to lose concentration, and her magical field to disappear around the engine.
>Thankfully, the p0nies hadn’t laid down a floor, and the engine fell in soft mud.
>Of course, the soft mud squished from the weight, and bits of it slapped against Celestia’s coat, dirtying it further.
>Oh man, that look was priceless.
>It was taking every ounce of discipline you had to keep from laughing.
>Her face was a mix of horror, shock, and disgust, all from the odd black liquid that now dappled her coat and bits of her mane.
“Are you ok Princess?”
>”What is on me…?”
“It’s oil. You may want to go wash that off…”
>”Is it harmful?”
“Not unless you swallow it. But if you don’t hurry it will probably stain your coat.”
>”Well, if you’ll excuse me…”
“Princess?”
>”Yes?”
“Thank you for offering your help.”
>She nodded, and began trotting off, leaving you to tinker with the engine.
>For a princess, she was pretty cool.

>You continued working on the Apache’s engine into until night, with no interruptions from the passing guards or nobles.
>Once the entire engine was disassembled, it became obvious you needed replacement parts.
>You could already feel your heart sink.
>This was your ride back to the changeling hive, and back to base once you got back to Earth.
>If you got back to Earth…
>”Good morning Anonymous.”
>You looked behind you to acknowledge the voice behind you.
“Morning Princess. I’m surprised you came back to help me, given the mess you got caught in yesterday.”
>”Nothing a long bath couldn’t fix. How goes the repairs?”
“Bad.”
>You held up a piece of the engine, showing the charred remains.
“You really did a number on this engine.”
>”I’m not sure if I should apologize or not.”
“You did what was necessary. No hard feelings.”
>”Is the other engine working?”
“It is, but I need both engines to get enough power for any sustained flight.”
>”Why not use the good engine for spare parts?”
“Because then the good engine won’t work.”
 >”I think I could get parts duplicated, provided they’re simple enough.”
“Duplicated?”
>”I know one unicorn that can duplicate simple tools and objects.”
“I’ll need help getting the other engine off.”
>”Well, I don’t have too much planned for today. At least I know where not to stand this time.”
>You grabbed your tool bag and climbed up on the left side of the Apache
>This time the process went a bit quicker with the procedure being a simple mirror of the other engine.
>Still, just getting it unbolted from the chopper itself took a few hours.
>Celestia stood to one side and gently set the engine down on the ground as you climbed down youself.
>”Is there anything else I can do?”
“Uh, well… I suppose you could work the dings out of the tail.”
>You pointed to how the fuselage of the aircraft had buckled from the impact.
>”That’s it?”
>A pink aura formed around the damage and the metal popped back into place a few seconds later.
>There really were no words for how you felt about this.
>All you could do was sit there with a [spoiler] ಠ_ಠ[/spoiler] blank expression on your face.
>She just bent metal without even breaking a sweat.”
“You’re showing off aren’t you Celestia?”
>”I have no idea what you mean Anonymous.”
>You looked over at Celestia, who was giving you a sheepish grin.
>In turn you couldn’t help but chuckle.
>As a wise man once said, laughter is contagious.
>In a matter of moments, the two of you were laughing like you had just seen a stand-up comic perform.
>Celestia was the first to regain her composure.
>”Oh dear, please forgive me. I’m not sure what came over me.”
“No its fine. I needed a laugh. I don’t even know why that was so funny.”
>”You should have seen your face Anonymous. It was… priceless.”
“Can you hold the tail and the rest of the chopper? I’d like to go ahead and weld this together.”
>Celesita nodded and lifted both of the bodies in the air with what seemed to be little difficulty.
>You placed your flight helmet on your head and lowered the sun visor over your eyes.
“Bring them together and hold them as perfectly still as possible.”
>The two ends of the fuselage met perfectly, and you quickly went to work, welding the two pieces together.
>Once you were done welding the tail to the body, Celestia set the bird back on the ground, and stood up off her haunches.
>”I think I’m ready for something to eat, would you like to join me?”
“I am hungry, but I should disassemble this engine while I still have daylight.”
>”I’ll bring us both a little something.” 
>Celestia trotted off, leaving you to begin taking apart the engine.
>She seemed happy to be helping you out with fixing your chopper.
>Probably eager to get rid of you so everything will go back to normal for her.
>You didn’t get very far before she returned with a bag full of food, and another alicorn in tow.
>”Anon, this is my niece, Princess Cadence.”
“Afternoon Princess.”
>”So I have you to thank for Shining Armor’s behavior?”
“I’m sorry ma’am, I thought your son was a big boy that could take care of himself.”
>Cadence chuckled.
>”Do I look that old? Shining Armor is my husband.”
“I’m sorry. You all look the same age to me.”
>The two alicorns exchanged glances and grinned.
>”How old would you say we are?”
“Great, the guessing game. Mid twenties?”
>Cadence couldn’t help but laugh, and Celestia could only smile as she let you in on this bit of information.
>”Cadence here is about 300 years old,-
>You did a spit-take, luckily turning your head as to avoid spraying the royalty.
>“I won’t say how old I am, lest you spit out the rest of your drink, but I’ll tell you I’m several times that.
“How long does your average p0ny live?”
>”P0nies usually live less than a hundred years. Us alicorns, we never really die.” 
>”Well aunt Celestia, I think I should get going. It was nice meeting you Anonymous.”
“Nice meeting you Princess Cadence. Sorry about your husband’s ear. He asked for it.”
>’I’m sure. I’ll see you around. Have fun with this… thing.”
>Cadence left, leaving you and Celestia to eat together in mostly silence.
“So you never die?”
>”Not from old age, but everything else yes.”
“That’s kind of cool…”
>”It has its ups and downs…”
“Like what?”
>”Well, you have to watch a lot of very special p0nies fade away.”
“… I suppose that does suck.”
>”To put it bluntly, yes.”
“Any perks?”
>”Not really. I suppose you could say I have all the time in the world to do what I want.”
“That’s something. You should travel the world.”
>”I already have.”
“Oh… Well then…”
>You took a few more bites, finishing off a muffin.
“I guess I’ll get back to work. Thank you for bringing lunch.”
>You sat back in front of the engine that laid on the ground and began disassembling it.
>Again, it went a bit faster than the first time, but it was still a painfully slow process.
>Celestia remained seated by the helicopter, watching you work.
“It’s going to be a while until I have all of the parts I need, you can go do anything you have to do.”
>”I’m actually  interested in what you’re working on. You don’t mind  if I watch do you?”
“Not at all, I just figured a princess would have more important things to do.”
>”You’d be surprised. My day is often full of nothing more than looking over several reports, and occasionally listening to a p0ny complain about some living condition.”
“You make it sound like you’re p0nies are ungrateful.”
>”Oh no. I do my best to make them happy, but sometimes things happen.”
>A few minutes passed by in silence, as Celestia continued to watch you disassemble the engine.
>”What does that do?”
“Injects the fuel into the engine.”
>”And that there?”
“Ignites the fuel.”
>”What about that?”
“I have no idea.”
>”Pfft.”
“What? I fly the thing, I’m not supposed to maintain it to this degree.”
>”You seem to be confident in taking it apart for not knowing what some of these parts do.”
“I don’t need to know what they do. I just need to remember where they go and how everything fits together.”
>”That makes sense I suppose.”
>You toweled off the pieces that you needed to replace and stretched them out in your hand.
“These pieces are all that I need to replace for the other engine I believe.”
>”I’ll take them to the unicorn. Go on and get some rest. You’re welcome to stay as long as you like.”
“No offense  Princess, but I don’t want to stay. I just want to get home. If you need me though, I’ll be in my room.”
>”Good night Anonymous.”



>Celestia actually beat you to what you had by now deemed “the hangar” the next day.
>She was looking inside the cockpit, inspecting each gauge and control curiously.
>Though no taller than you on all fours, it was pretty obvious given the length of her body, there was no way she was fitting inside.
“Do you have those parts?”
>”Not yet Anonymous. It seems it will take a few days.”
“Lovely.”
>”Is there anything we can do until then?”
“I need to mount the 30mm. can you cold it in place while I do?”
>”Of course.”
>Celestia sat back down on the ground and lifted the auto-cannon off the ground.
“A little to the left, now toward the front… annnnnnnd hold it there.”
>You quickly welded the mount back to the fuselage of the aircraft.
>Each weld was a bit sloppy, but they were thick.
>You didn’t want to have your main weapon fall off in the middle of an engagement now did you?
>Once the mount was welded in place, you crawled into the cockpit and flipped the auxiliary power on.
>The screens in front of you flickered to life, and several errors and warning lights flashed across them.
“Engine failure, no shit?”
>”Must you use such vulgar language?”
“Apologies, it’s human nature Princess.”
>Punching a few buttons, you overrode the gunner controls, to the pilot’s seat, and swung the gun around, ensuring it still worked.
>Good, it had its full range of motion.
>You would have to wait until the engines were repaired for a test fire though. 
>A series of explosions against the castle walls would probably annoy the guards.
>”What are you doing?”
“Makin sure the gun works, or at least moves.”
>”You really plan on attacking an entire hive of changelings?”
“I don’t plan on it. But I’m preparing for it. Which brings up something else I should check.”
>You set the gun to front, powered down the auxiliary power, and climbed out of the chopper.
>Kneeling beside the wings, you checked the other weapons you had.
>Didn’t you fire a pair of rockets during that invasion?
>Yeah, that one pony got dragged away by one, and the other one hit the barracks.
>But the pods were full… So that meant…
>CHEAT UNLOCKED: INFINITE AMMO
>That must mean all of the instruments weren’t off.
>You’re 30mm, rocket pods, TV missiles, and fuel were all somehow altered so that they didn’t deplete.
>Possible side effect of being teleported to Equestria?
>That would also explain how your tanks hadn’t run dry on the way to Canterlot.
>”Is something wrong?”
“No, Everything is fine. Everything is perfectly fine.”
>You could feel a grin creep across your face.
>If anything was going to fuck with you, let it be these changelings.
>“What are you going to do until those parts are replicated?”
“I can’t really do anything Princess. I suppose I’ll head to the room you were nice enough to give me, and just wait.”
>”You could always make some friends in the meantime. I or Cadence would be happy to spend time getting to know you.”
>As much as you didn’t feel like getting attached to p0nies that you planned on leaving in a few days, you didn’t have much to entertain yourself with.
“Sure, I guess hanging out for a bit wouldn’t be too bad.”
>”Dinner, tonight, in my study?”
“The place we had breakfast the first time?”
>”Mhmm.”
”I’ll be there. Don’t expect me to get dressed up. I didn’t know I was going on vacation.”
>”You’ll be fine. I’ll see you around 5 or 6.”
>Celestia trotted off, and you climbed into the pilot seat once more.
>It was nice to be back in the saddle again.
>Wait, how the hell were you going to know what time to head to dinner?
>You spent the remainder of the day in the hangar, waiting for some indication of it being time for dinner.
>Of course, sitting around with your eyes closed took its toll and you found yourself being awoken by a gentle tapping sound.
>With a yawn, you cracked open the tomb your eyes had become and looked at the source of the tapping noise.
>Cadence smiled shyly, waving a hoof at you.
>You popped open the canopy, rubbing your eyes.
>”Well hello sleepy head. You do remember your dinner reservations right?”
“Thank you. I lost track of time.”
>You climbed down from the pilot’s seat, dropping down onto the soft grass below you.
>”Well we couldn’t eat without you.”
>You and Cadence began walking alongside each other through the castle courtyard.
“You’re eating with me and Celestia?”
>”Mhmm. I thought you could use a friend.”
“That’s a sweet notion of you. Especially after I nearly bit off your husband’s ear.”
>”Shining Armor has a grudge against you but Celestia told me your story.”
“Did she?”
>”Yes… I’m sorry about your friend.”
“Thanks…”
>The two of you walked up the stairs and onto the balcony of Celestia’s study.
>Celestia was sitting at the table directly across from the one p0ny you never imagined you’d be eating with.
>Come to think of it, you never thought you’d be eating with a p0ny at all, but that was beside the point.
>Captain Shining Armor looked up from his hot tea, his non bandaged ear lying flat.
>”I couldn’t come unless he came as well, he’s protective like that. You understand, right Anon?”
“Of course, you two are married after all.”
>”Can we get this over with?”
“Now Shiny, there’s no reason we can’t be civil.”
>The Captain glared at you, then back down at his tea.
>You took a seat between the two princesses, but not exactly across from Shining Armor.
>The “seats” which were simply over plush pillows were arranged to form more of a trapezoid than a square if you connected them from across the round table.
>A servant p0ny came by, carrying a large silver platter, and placed it on the table.
>Even with the extra space between you and Celestia, it barely fit between the two of you.
“Thank you ma’am.”
>The servant blushed, bowing her head politely before disappearing back into the study.
>The p0nies each gave you an odd look, but only Shining Amor spoke.
>”Are you trying to court the servants? Are you really that low?”
“Am I low because I’m courting a p0ny, or just a servant p0ny? Implying I was in fact courting her and not being polite.”
>”Hmph. I suppose she would be in your class. Trash.”
“I come from a place where everyone is viewed as equals. And you call me uncivil. You’re a pompous ass.” 
>”Now boys, calm down. Let’s just enjoy our dinner and each other’s company.”
>Cadence’s tone was disarming enough to shut her husband up, for the moment at least.
>You took a pastry off the silver tray and took a bite.
>You needed to leave this place before you got diabetes, everything they made seemed to be made with a metric shit ton of sugar.
>”So everyone is equal in your world Anonymous?”
“Many would like to think so, but in reality no.”
>”Care to explain?”	
“Everyone is given the same opportunity to succeed and do well for themselves. They aren’t looked down on or put into a certain class because of what they do or what their parents did.”
>”That’s an interesting idea…”
“No society is perfect, there are always those that look down on others. Whether it be wealth, a person’s race, or even the job they do.”
>”So are humans no better than p0nies?”
“I’m not one to judge an entire race. But the Captain here is looking down on a p0ny simply for the job she holds. Therefore he is pompous ass in my eyes.”
>There was a few moments of utter silence as Shining Armor’s eye twitched.
>”As much as I’d like to defend my husband, I can’t. Sorry dear.”
>”It’s fine Cadence. As annoying as Anonymous is, he’s clever. I’ll give him that much.”
“Aw how sweet of you Shiny.”
>”You love being an antagonist don’t you Anonymous?”
“I have always tended to be an asshole Celestia, pardon my language.”
>”It’s alright.”
>”So Anonymous, do you have a wife or special somep0ny back on your planet?”
“No, at least I don’t think so. The beatings and hooves to my head have scrambled my memories somewhat.”
>You began taking a drink of water.
>”That’s a shame, you could always stay here. Celestia is single.”
>You and Celestia both did a spit take.
>”Cadence! That is quite enough!”
“No offense, but Celestia isn’t my type.”
>”Oh, and what is your type Anonymous?” 
>Celestia glanced at you, seemingly hurt yet relieved at the same time.
“My type? Not a p0ny. Sorry Shiny.”
>Oh man, he was steamed at that comment.”
“Now now, no need to get upset. It’s nothing personal… Oh wait… At least you’re a nice guy! Oh wait…”
>Shining Armor was fuming now, his white face nearly matching Cadence’s in color.
>Grabbing his wine with magic, he stormed off into the castle, leaving you and the two princesses at the table nearly killing over in laughter. 
>”I really shouldn’t be laughing… You did just anger my husband to the brink of insanity.”
“It’s not the first time Princess Cadence, it probably won’t be the last.” 
>”How long will he have to put up with you?”
“A few days at most. As I’ve told Celestia, I don’t want to stay here for very long.”
>”That’s a shame. Variety is a nice thing when it comes to fiends.”	
“You barely know me.”
>”You aren’t a bad guy Anon.”
“I’m afraid to see what qualifies as a ‘bad guy’ in your world.”
>”Chrysalis?”
“Nevermind, she was a-
>The two princesses glanced at you with looks of contempt, waiting for the vulgarity that was to come.
“She was rather unpleasant to say the least.”
>”I think you could fit in around here Anonymous.” Cadence smiled and sipped on her tea.
>”Well, I do hate to cut my own dinner short, but I have a few things I need to catch up on before the sun sets.”
“Thank you for dinner Celestia, I’ll see you tomorrow I suspect.”
>Celestia trotted off, leaving you and her niece alone at the table.
>”Would you like me to walk you back to your room?”
“I didn’t even buy you dinner first.”  
>Cadence blushed, standing up from her seat.
>Good to know the humor was the same, despite being dimensions or universes apart.
>Despite the joke, she followed you across the courtyard keeping the idle chat going.
>As the two of you approached your door, you realized you left your swag on this entire time, and it was at least a 1 hour cool down on it.
“It was a pleasure to see you again Cadence.” 
>”It’s nice to have somep0ny to talk to. Ever since you arrived Shining Armor has been… distant.”
“I’m sorry.”
>”A normal mare would probably have blamed you.”
“You don’t?”
>”You’ve been taken from your home, had a friend’s life taken in front of your eyes, and now you’re stuck here.”
>Wow, she had quite a level head about the whole thing.
>You extended a hand and sort of pet Cadence along the neck, bringing a faint blush to her cheeks in the setting sun’s light.
>Wait, brain, she’s not really a p0ny, she’s more like a person. You just made things awkward.
“Sorry, I was not thinking straight when I did that.”
>”I thought it was sweet, Anon. Good night, I’ll drop by tomorrow perhaps.”
>Cadence nuzzled against your shoulder for a moment as you pet her on the mane once more.
“Good night Cadence.”
>The two of you parted ways as Luna raised the moon into the sky, and you made your way to bed.

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