- Day 14 in Equestria.
- >Today's mark is Pinkie Pie.
- >For this prank you'll need two things:
- >Your big pimpin' hand
- >and your brass balls.
- >4:30am
- >You hate getting up early as fuck.
- >But today, it'll be worth it.
- >You jog into Ponyville.
- >The town clock says quarter to five, perfect.
- >You walk into Sugarcube Corner because ponies can't into security.
- >Making your way upstairs you head straight to Pinkies room.
- >You want to be in there before she wakes.
- >Oh good, she's still asleep. Time to wake this bitch up.
- Pinkie
- >She stirs.
- Oh Pinkie.
- >She groggily lifts her head and looks around.
- >PP: Hmmmmm *slap*
- >The impact of your mighty pimp hand turns her head in the opposite direction.
- >PP: Ow, what was that. *Slap*
- >A backhand to even things out.
- >Pinkie holds her face in shock. There are tears forming in her eyes.
- >PP: Wow, it's like I'm back home on the rock farm.
- >She hops off the bed and trots to the bathroom to get ready for the day.
- >You go down to the kitchen to wait.
- >Mr. Cake is already busy with today's confections. You stay out of his way.
- >You're here for Pinkie, not him.
- >Speak of the devil, Pinkie walks into the kitchen and into the back of your hand *slap*
- >Mr.Cake turns at the sound.
- >MC: Pinkie are you alright?
- >PP: Sure thing Mr. Cake, my Pinkie sense is just being a little aggressive today.
- >MC: If you say so Pinkie. Let's get to work shall we?
- >PP: Oakie doakie lokie Mr. Cake.
- >Pinkie blurs about the kitchen, it's very difficult to keep track of her.
- >You wait by the tallest shelf, and soon your moment arrives.
- >She reaches up on her hind legs to get that mixing bowl on the top shelf.
- >*slap* You slap her ass so hard she falls over. The mixing bowl making a clatter as it hits the floor.
- >MC: Hey Pinkie, why don't you take the day off until you get yourself sorted out.
- >Head down looking dejected she answers,
- >PP: Sure thing Mr. Cake.
- >You follow as she leaves Sugarcube Corner.
- >You are Pinkie.
- >Wow, your Pinkie sense must be warning you about something big.
- >It's never slapped you in the face or on the butt before.
- >Maybe you should go talk to somep0nie about this.
- >*GASP* I know, I'll go see Twilight, she'll know what to do.
- >You are Anon.
- >You just saw Pinkie gasp for no reason.
- >She then started bouncing toward Twilight's housebrary.
- >You run along beside her.
- >Wait until she gets to the apex of one of her bounces, and shove her as hard as you can.
- >She slams into the side of one of the houses in Ponyville.
- >She slowly picks herself up off the ground.
- >PP: Maybe I'll walk instead.
- >She limps off toward her destination.
- >You allow her to proceed unmolested, for now.
- >She knocks on the door.
- >TS: Come in.
- >TS: Oh, hey Pinkie.
- >She then notices Pinkie's dejected state.
- >TS: Pinkie, what's wrong?
- >PP:Well,*gasp*Igotwokenupthismorningwithacoupleofslapstothefaceanditreally
- >remindedmeofhowmydadusedtowakemeup
- >inthemorningonlyinsteadofhishooveshe'dusehispenisandmomgotreallyangrywithme
- >becauseofthatandsoshesentmetolive
- >inPonyvillewiththeCakesandshekeepsmydad'sballsinajarubovethefireplace
- >nowandI'mnotallowedtovisitorwriteortalk
- >aboutmydadtoanyp0nywhenI-
- >Tired of her babbling, you lift her up off the ground by the tail and spank her *slap* *slap* *slap* *slap* *slap* you then drop her unceremoniously to the ground.
- >PP: WAAAAAAAAAA! MY PINKIE SENSE IS GOING CRAZY AND I'M SCARED!
- >Twilight moves over to Pinkie and gives her a hug.
- >TS:Shh, it's okay Pinkie. We'll figure out what's wrong and fix it.
- >PP: *Sniff* Promise?
- >TS: Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a cupcake in my *you flick her horn* SONAVABITCH!
- My work here is done.
- >You walk out the door and head home.
- Today was a good day.
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