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The Invincible Iron Manon (Part 6)

By: QuietYou on Jul 4th, 2013 | syntax: None | size: 6.98 KB | hits: 49 | expires: Never

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>You are Iron Manon.
>The floor is not a comfortable place to sleep.
>Well, you didn’t sleep on the floor. You slept in a metal cage covering your body.
>It was lying on the floor though, so you can still kind of blame the stone. Why make the armor feel bad?
>When you open your eyes, you’re met with numbers and words displayed on your screen.
>The cave is silent. The only audible sound is the perma-echo you cant seem to shake from it no matter how much furniture you pile in.
>You walk outside, the bright sun reflects off your shining metal hull.
[Jahvise?]
>**Yes, Sir?**
[What was I going to do today?]
>**Paint the Mark II, build a platform outside the cave, create a display case for the Mark I, and announce the creation of your suits to Ponyville.**
>Ugh, that’s a lot of work for today. You really don’t want to do anything.
>However, things must get done.
[Push the display case and the platform to tomorrow.]
>**Noted.**
>Stepping out into the light, you open your faceplate.
>The sudden brightness over takes you and you block the light with your hand.
>Oh yeah, the mask dims bright light.
>After a nice, deep breath of the unfiltered air, you close the faceplate again.
>You head back into the cave and rummage for money to buy some paint with. You don’t have enough gold in that one can for a whole suit and you don’t have blue period
[Ah ha! I knew I had…4 bits.]
>**Would you like me to see if the newspapers you read previously had available jobs?**
[No, no. I can live off this for now.]
>On cue, your stomach growls so loudly and ferociously that all 4 legs of your work table explode, sending splinters everywhere.
>The armor protects you from them, but your drawers and walls are littered with little spikes now.
>The tabletop falls and hits the floor, sending everything that was on it flying.
>Your “World’s #1 Scientist” mug shatters on impact as well.
>How does that even hap…what the hell?
>Seriously, why? That doesn’t even make sense.
>**Sugar Cube Corner is having a week long bake sale, Sir. You may be able to find something with your pitiful change.**
>Right, because candy is definitely what you need to fill this tank.
[What about Hay Mart? Did they have a sale on low-fat hay?]
>You’re so funny, Anon.
>And hungry. Cant think when hungry.
>Candy will have to do for now, you suppose. Maybe later you’ll go hunting. Nop0ny will look at you sideways when you eat meat now since, really, who would come out to a cave?
>Hold on, why not go hunting now? What’s stopping you?
>Your stomach growls again and this time, a section of wall falls out, crushing the Mark I suit.
>You’re torn! Delicious meat, or quick energy!
>What would Iron Man do?!
>A lightbulb turns on over your head.
>The only sensible thing to do here is have a party and get drunk.
[Jahvise, call Pinkie Pie.]
>**Phones have not been invented yet, Sir.**
[Jahvise, find Pinkie Pie.]
>**Global Positioning Systems have not been invented either.**
[Dang it, Jahvise. What do I pay you for?]
>**You don’t.**
[Shuddap Jahvise.]
>Finding Pinkie is first priority. How to go about it?
>Your stomach growls again, shattering the glass on each of your old batteries.
>Outside, you determine, is the best place to do the thinking.
---
>As you fly over the jungle and the roads, your stomach leaves a wake of destruction. Toppled trees, monstrous potholes, shattered rocks, and so on.
>It’d be quite amazing if it weren’t so horrifying as well.
>How can one man’s stomach produce such noise? Why hasn’t it torn through the armor yet?
>These questions are too complicated, best to be solved while drunk.
>**Sir, I believe I may have a solution to your Pinkie Pie problem.** Jahvise interrupts your thoughts.
>**From what information you programmed into me, she hates seeing others sad, right? Why not feign sorrow?**
>That might be a good idea.
>You stop cease flight over the center of Ponyville and land. Opening your face plate, you throw dirt in your eyes.
FUS RO DANG IT! That stings!
>The pain and stinging causes tears to form in your eyes. Coupled with the screams, you even fool yourself you’re sad.
>It’s very convincing.
>As you fall to your knees crying, Pinkie zooms out of the corner like a drag racer.
>”Anon! Why are you sad?!”
Oh Pinkie! Its horrible! HORRIBLE!
>”What? Come on, tell Pinkie so she can make you smile!” Pinkie places a hoof on your shoulder.
I-I was walking and then th-this mean colt c-came by and k-k-kicked dirt in my e-eyes!
>Sniffle sniffle
>”Turn that frown upside down. I know something that’ll make you SMILE!”
A party?
>”YEAH!” She bounces up and down laughing.
With lots of alcohol?
>”No silly! Alcohol is only for—“
With lots of alcohol.
>You give her a stern look.
>”Well yeah, OK I guess.”
Aw Pinkie, thanks! My insides are smiling!
>The both of you embrace each other very tightly.
>You’re sure you heard a few bones snap on her end during the hug, but she bounces off giggling like normal. Shes a mystery, that one.
What else was I going to do today, *click* [Jahvise?]
>**The only other thing you had me note was painting the Mark II.**
[Alright. Bring me to Cloudsdale.]
>**Right away, Sir.**
>A small arrow appears in the corner of your screen pointing up.
>Following it, it turns with you and directs you through the sky.
>The closer you get, the more winged creatures you see.
>You even see a griffon with a big bald spot and what look like burn marks on it.
>Wonder what caused that.
>**You are currently 50 yards away from the rainbow pool, Sir.**
[Think we’ll get the same luck as last time?]
>**I highly doubt it.**
[Hm.]
>Your eyes survey the area for any other means of colorizing.
>Maybe you can find a color hose somewhere. Right arouuuuuund…nowhere.
>Fine, fine. Pool it is.
>You fly over too it and look for the gold spots in the pool. After finding one, you fall into it.
>Now for blue.
>After finding a spot of a blue resembling Rainbow Dash, you dive into that too.
>Paint, check.
[Hope I don’t look too dumb.]
>**You can always paint over it, Sir.**
[With what money?]
>**Well you normally don’t paint using money, Sir.**
[You know what I meant.]
>**I have no idea what you’re talking about.**
[Yeah, yeah. Just get me to Ponyville again.]
>A familiar arrow appears on your screen directing you to Ponyville Square.
[This party better be a blast!]
>Your stomach growls again. Luckily you’re in the air so nothing bad happens.
---
>Pegasi scream in terror, running and flying away.
>The rainbow calibrator has malfunctioned and is spraying color everywhere!
>Sirens blare and broken light spew sparks from their bulbs.
>One of these sparks makes its way to the Rainbow Maker, a gargantuan machine that harnesses light and gives it the color, adding it to water, and making the rainbows everypony loves.
>The fuel cell catches fire, setting the whole thing ablaze.
>All of Cloudsdale erupts and explodes in a fiery spectacle seen for miles.
>Where will Equestria get its rainbows now?

create a new version of this paste RAW Paste Data

>You are Iron Manon.
>The floor is not a comfortable place to sleep.
>Well, you didn’t sleep on the floor. You slept in a metal cage covering your body.
>It was lying on the floor though, so you can still kind of blame the stone. Why make the armor feel bad?
>When you open your eyes, you’re met with numbers and words displayed on your screen.
>The cave is silent. The only audible sound is the perma-echo you cant seem to shake from it no matter how much furniture you pile in.
>You walk outside, the bright sun reflects off your shining metal hull.
[Jahvise?]
>**Yes, Sir?**
[What was I going to do today?]
>**Paint the Mark II, build a platform outside the cave, create a display case for the Mark I, and announce the creation of your suits to Ponyville.**
>Ugh, that’s a lot of work for today. You really don’t want to do anything.
>However, things must get done.
[Push the display case and the platform to tomorrow.]
>**Noted.**
>Stepping out into the light, you open your faceplate.
>The sudden brightness over takes you and you block the light with your hand.
>Oh yeah, the mask dims bright light.
>After a nice, deep breath of the unfiltered air, you close the faceplate again.
>You head back into the cave and rummage for money to buy some paint with. You don’t have enough gold in that one can for a whole suit and you don’t have blue period
[Ah ha! I knew I had…4 bits.]
>**Would you like me to see if the newspapers you read previously had available jobs?**
[No, no. I can live off this for now.]
>On cue, your stomach growls so loudly and ferociously that all 4 legs of your work table explode, sending splinters everywhere.
>The armor protects you from them, but your drawers and walls are littered with little spikes now.
>The tabletop falls and hits the floor, sending everything that was on it flying.
>Your “World’s #1 Scientist” mug shatters on impact as well.
>How does that even hap…what the hell?
>Seriously, why? That doesn’t even make sense.
>**Sugar Cube Corner is having a week long bake sale, Sir. You may be able to find something with your pitiful change.**
>Right, because candy is definitely what you need to fill this tank.
[What about Hay Mart? Did they have a sale on low-fat hay?]
>You’re so funny, Anon.
>And hungry. Cant think when hungry.
>Candy will have to do for now, you suppose. Maybe later you’ll go hunting. Nop0ny will look at you sideways when you eat meat now since, really, who would come out to a cave?
>Hold on, why not go hunting now? What’s stopping you?
>Your stomach growls again and this time, a section of wall falls out, crushing the Mark I suit.
>You’re torn! Delicious meat, or quick energy!
>What would Iron Man do?!
>A lightbulb turns on over your head.
>The only sensible thing to do here is have a party and get drunk.
[Jahvise, call Pinkie Pie.]
>**Phones have not been invented yet, Sir.**
[Jahvise, find Pinkie Pie.]
>**Global Positioning Systems have not been invented either.**
[Dang it, Jahvise. What do I pay you for?]
>**You don’t.**
[Shuddap Jahvise.]
>Finding Pinkie is first priority. How to go about it?
>Your stomach growls again, shattering the glass on each of your old batteries.
>Outside, you determine, is the best place to do the thinking.
---
>As you fly over the jungle and the roads, your stomach leaves a wake of destruction. Toppled trees, monstrous potholes, shattered rocks, and so on.
>It’d be quite amazing if it weren’t so horrifying as well.
>How can one man’s stomach produce such noise? Why hasn’t it torn through the armor yet?
>These questions are too complicated, best to be solved while drunk.
>**Sir, I believe I may have a solution to your Pinkie Pie problem.** Jahvise interrupts your thoughts.
>**From what information you programmed into me, she hates seeing others sad, right? Why not feign sorrow?**
>That might be a good idea. 
>You stop cease flight over the center of Ponyville and land. Opening your face plate, you throw dirt in your eyes.
FUS RO DANG IT! That stings!
>The pain and stinging causes tears to form in your eyes. Coupled with the screams, you even fool yourself you’re sad.
>It’s very convincing.
>As you fall to your knees crying, Pinkie zooms out of the corner like a drag racer.
>”Anon! Why are you sad?!”
Oh Pinkie! Its horrible! HORRIBLE!
>”What? Come on, tell Pinkie so she can make you smile!” Pinkie places a hoof on your shoulder.
I-I was walking and then th-this mean colt c-came by and k-k-kicked dirt in my e-eyes!
>Sniffle sniffle
>”Turn that frown upside down. I know something that’ll make you SMILE!”
A party?
>”YEAH!” She bounces up and down laughing.
With lots of alcohol?
>”No silly! Alcohol is only for—“
With lots of alcohol.
>You give her a stern look.
>”Well yeah, OK I guess.”
Aw Pinkie, thanks! My insides are smiling!
>The both of you embrace each other very tightly.
>You’re sure you heard a few bones snap on her end during the hug, but she bounces off giggling like normal. Shes a mystery, that one.
What else was I going to do today, *click* [Jahvise?]
>**The only other thing you had me note was painting the Mark II.**
[Alright. Bring me to Cloudsdale.]
>**Right away, Sir.**
>A small arrow appears in the corner of your screen pointing up.
>Following it, it turns with you and directs you through the sky.
>The closer you get, the more winged creatures you see.
>You even see a griffon with a big bald spot and what look like burn marks on it.
>Wonder what caused that.
>**You are currently 50 yards away from the rainbow pool, Sir.**
[Think we’ll get the same luck as last time?]
>**I highly doubt it.**
[Hm.]
>Your eyes survey the area for any other means of colorizing.
>Maybe you can find a color hose somewhere. Right arouuuuuund…nowhere.
>Fine, fine. Pool it is.
>You fly over too it and look for the gold spots in the pool. After finding one, you fall into it.
>Now for blue.
>After finding a spot of a blue resembling Rainbow Dash, you dive into that too.
>Paint, check.
[Hope I don’t look too dumb.]
>**You can always paint over it, Sir.**
[With what money?]
>**Well you normally don’t paint using money, Sir.**
[You know what I meant.]
>**I have no idea what you’re talking about.**
[Yeah, yeah. Just get me to Ponyville again.]
>A familiar arrow appears on your screen directing you to Ponyville Square.
[This party better be a blast!]
>Your stomach growls again. Luckily you’re in the air so nothing bad happens.
---
>Pegasi scream in terror, running and flying away.
>The rainbow calibrator has malfunctioned and is spraying color everywhere!
>Sirens blare and broken light spew sparks from their bulbs.
>One of these sparks makes its way to the Rainbow Maker, a gargantuan machine that harnesses light and gives it the color, adding it to water, and making the rainbows everypony loves.
>The fuel cell catches fire, setting the whole thing ablaze.
>All of Cloudsdale erupts and explodes in a fiery spectacle seen for miles.
>Where will Equestria get its rainbows now?

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