Title:           Kissing Booth
Author:          Pseudocracy
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/8u7HqDZp
First Edit:      Tuesday 25th of December 2012 10:58:16 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Tuesday 25th of December 2012 10:58:16 PM CDT

>Be Anon
>Walking around this crazy magic horse land you ended up in not too long ago
>See a crowd of ponies just outside town gathering around what appears to be a collection of makeshift stalls
>Curiosity and boredom get the better of you and you wander over
>A sign blocks your path, do you read it?
>Y/N
>Y
>It reads "Kissing booth!  1 bit = 1 kiss, help us raise money for the Ponyville orphanage!"
>"Fucking ponies," you think to yourself "they think they can accomplish shit through kissing charities rather than based capitalism"
>About to walk away when something, or rather somep0ny, captures your eye
>Among the stall's many "vendors" you spot her, sitting there with a disinterested look on her face
>Fucking Rainbow Dash
>From day 1 this bitch had tormented you
>She was always mean to you, crass as all get out, and called you all sorts of names
>"Monkey-boy", "Ape", and the ever imaginative, "Shithead"
>The worst part was she was nice to everyone else, just a complete cunt to you
>As if tearing you from your world and your loved ones wasn't enough, god had to give you a blue bird-horse to antagonize you every step of the way
>You must have been especially cruel to puppies in a previous life
"Hmmmph, like any idiot would want to kiss that train wreck"
 
>As you turn to leave, you get an idea
>An awful idea
>You got a wonderful, awful idea
>An evil smile begins to form on your lips
>You dig in your pockets
>Excellent, you have some bits left from this month's pay
>Evil grin still plastered on your face, you stroll on over to the kissing booths
>As you approach, the ponies see you and begin to prod each other whispering things in each other's ears
>The closer you get, the more you begin to hear
>"What's he doing here?"  "Who do you think he'll kiss?"  "Oh please, he probably doesn't think ponies are attractive"  "I feel sorry for whomever he picks"
>When you arrive at RD's stall every pair of eyes is fixed on you
>Well, every pair except the rose-tinted ones that are still idly gazing at her hoof
>You pull your hand out of your pocket and throw a single bit on the counter
>The clattering metal breaks Dash from her apparently entrancing hoof
>She turns lazily to look at the bit, then looks up at you
>"Shocked" doesn't even begin to describe her face
>"YOU!?"
"Yeah.  Me."
>She looks back down at the bit, then back at your face, then the bit, then your face
"You're running a kissing booth and you don't know how this works?"
>"I..."
>Her expression sours
>"Oh, haha, shit-flinger, real funny"
>Shit-flinger.  That one's new.  Good to see she's expanding her insult repertoire
>"Now keep walking, tall, dark, and ugly, I got real customers to take care of"
 
"Oh no no no, Dashie poo, that's not how this works.  You see, I paid my bit, that means I get a kiss"
>You cross your arms defiantly
"And I'm not leaving without one"
>Her expression becomes one of pure rage and frustration
>"If you think for a second that I'm really going to kiss you..."
"Kiss me?  No, that's not how this is going to work.  You see I'M going to kiss YOU...HARD"
>You uncross your arms and place your hands on her booth, leaning down until your face is mere inches from hers
"And you're going to like it"
>You narrow your eyes and give her a toothy grin
>She backs up a little, the worry on her face dissolving into anger
>"I'd rather kiss a donkey's butt than you!"
>From the other end of the booths you hear a familiar, snorting laughter
>Pinkie Pie of course
>"Hahaha, you'd rather kiss an ass' ass!  Great pun, Dashie!"
>Dash looks at Pinkie for a moment
>The realization hits her that every individual, both behind the booths and waiting in line, is looking at you two, waiting for what happens next
>You swear you can see sweat breaking out on her brow
>"Uhh, Twilight?"  She turns to her friend a booth away
>"I don't really have to do this, r-right?"
>The purple unicorn, still eyeing you both with slightly interested curiosity speaks up
>"Oh but you do, Rainbow Dash.  As you can see, in Article 5, sub-section C of the Rules for Operating Kissing Booths..."
 
>While speaking, she magics up a large book from near her stool and quickly flips to a book marked page
>"It says that 'Once payment has been received by the kissing booth operator, the operator must then administer a kiss to the paying individual, regardless of any feelings the operator may have toward the individual'"
>They write books for this shit?  Wow...
>Twilight shuts the book and places it back on the ground
>"Sorry Dash, but since Anon payed..."
>She giggles a little
>"It looks like you owe him a kiss"
>Dash turns looks to her left, then her right, as if looking for an escape, for someone to intervene and put a stop to this
>No such escape comes and she turns back to your still grinning visage
"So, what's if gonna be Dash?  I'm sure we could still hook you up with that donkey ass you were raving about a second ago"  you chuckle
>"Hmmph" she snorts, putting on a brave face
>"I guess there's not much difference between you and the ass, so fine, do your worst"
>She leans forward, slamming her eyes tight and reluctantly pursing her lips
>Bitch, you have no idea what you are in for
>You lean forward, extending a hand behind her head and pulling her face into yours
>Quickly, you might add
>As your lips suddenly meet hers, she lets out a surprised yelp, which is immediately drowned in your mouth
>The outburst from her leaves her mouth open, giving you the opportunity to make your move
 
>You quickly slide your tongue into her mouth, it finds hers and begins to move sensually against it, tempting her tongue to play with yours
>At first, her tongue darts away from yours, violently thrashing against the confines of her own mouth, trying to escape the invader
>Dash is letting out more grunts of disgust and annoyance at you, like a child being forced to eat her vegetables, praying for the experience to end
>Sensing her resistance you back off a little, your tongue doesn't pursue hers so adamantly, you take to massaging her lips with yours
>Your hand brushes up the back of her neck, you run your fingers gingerly through her mane
>Her muffled cries of retching disgust begin to fade, her body becomes less tense
>Your ministrations are paying off, she isn't resisting your kiss any more, your tongue reaches out to hers again
>It doesn't back away so quickly, it lies passive at first, then begins to move against yours ever so slightly
>Soon your tongues are dancing with each other, writhing together in carnal pleasure
>Instead of finding a fleeing animal, your tongue finds a willing participant, a partner with which to dance
>She makes another sound, but this time not one that is usually succeeded by vomit
>She moans ever so quietly into your mouth
>You open your eyes to look at hers
>Instead of the slammed shut lids you saw when you started, you find that her eyes are closed peacefully now, a red tint is beginning to form on her cheeks
 
>You decide to try something
>You cease the movements of your mouth and tongue
>Success!  Hers are still moving, her tongue prods yours, wrapping around and moving against it, as if crying out "don't stop now, oh please, don't stop now"
>Dash is now kissing you instead of the other way around
>Not one to disappoint a girl, you pick up your end of the kiss again
>For a few more moments, you and Dash kiss with more passion than any Hollywood starlets could ever hope to muster
>Suddenly, you break the kiss and pull back a few inches from her face
>A small saliva strand still connects your wet lips
>Dash's face is completely flushed, her eyes remain closed in ecstasy for a second before opening half-way
>You whisper to her
"Did you enjoy that?"
>She breathlessly replies
>"Yes..."
>You lean in close
 
"Good.  Because it will never happen again"
>Her eyes shoot completely open
>You pull back and stand up at your full height, laughing your ass off
"Hahahaha!!  Oh fuck, I got you good!  I had you eating out of my hand, Rainbow Cunt!  Bahahaha!!!"
>"B-b-but..."
>You finish your laughter as a very shocked RD and company just stare, gaping at you
"Whew...well, I gotta go, but it's been fun.  Catch you later, Rainbow Dash!!"
>Without waiting for a response you turn on your heel and strut like the boss you are out of the park, back to town
>Revenge feels goddamn good, so does putting that uppity pony in her place
>Like you'd ever actually be into kissing her, pffft, what a dumb cunt
>Now if only you could figure out why you have this erection....
 
Fin