Untitled 4

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                                                        Fall

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                                                Afternoon Gold (Gazania)

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        Thursday afternoon.

 

        It had to be a Thursday afternoon. You couldn't put your finger on it why, but it had to.

Now, you were sure of it. But the past had been different, very different. It had been uncertain, even more so than the present. It offered you two choices. Two worlds, one of which you were part of no longer and one of which you were yet to become part of. Time didn't allow you to wait, to let things evolve gradually. It changed you. And change is hard sometimes, but you like to think you came out of it for the better. It's a very different world. Sometimes plain and simple to the point where it'd be laugh-worthy. Other times, so nonsensical and confusing that the only thing you could think about in those moments is how badly you missed home. Different, to say the least.

        Still, you could've ended up somewhere far worse. They were all — well, most of them — accepting. They all tried to make you feel a bit more at home in their own, unique ways. It's not the same here as it was at home, you'd be lying if you even tried to say something like that. But it's okay. More than okay, even. You've grown to like it here, different as it might have seemed at first and still did sometimes. If you'd be given the choice to go back home...

        The mirror fogs as you heave a sigh. What's the point in thinking about it? The princesses, Twilight Sparkle, every unicorn in Canterlot Castle, they all said the same. No going back.

        Maybe it's not so bad. Not to be given the choice. You were already forced to give up on the things you had in the past. But would you do it again? Knowing what you'd leave behind this time? Maybe it's for the best that you don't have to choose at all.

        Because you'd miss those two, more than words could tell. Pinkie Pie, most insane being to have ever lived. Best friend anyone could ever hope to have. And Fluttershy, carrying more kindness and warmth in her heart than the sun itself.

        If it weren't for them, if those two didn't help you adjust to this all, you'd have given up so long ago. Change can be hard. But with friends like them, it wasn't too hard.

 

 

        You watch your lips turn into a smile, dragging the cold, wet steel over your skin one last time. Friends, that's how it had started. And then things changed, again. It'd been confusing at first. If it weren't for Pinkie's help, you'd still be wondering about your feelings. Fluttershy has shown you so much compassion and understanding, it's only normal you gravitated towards her. She made you feel at peace. Her calm demeanor helped calm you, too. In the quietness of her cottage, surrounded by myriad little animals, you first started to feel more at home here. But weekly visits turned into bi-weekly visits, which in turn became daily visits. You'd more or less already came to terms with your situation. It just was an easy excuse to keep visiting her.

        And when you asked if she minded, she only grew more quiet in response. She'd squeak and mutter inaudible words to herself before asking you if you'd like more tea. How could you possibly say no to her? She makes great tea.

        To her, it was less of a barrier. In her days as an animal caretaker, she's seen so much. And animals here aren't like the ones you were familiar with. Mr. Hawk and Ms. Swan didn't have issues with it. Then why did you?

        A white shirt from the top shelf, nothing too spectacular. It's not cold enough for sweaters yet.

 

        Maybe you didn't want to admit it to yourself. But admitting it to Pinkie had been doable. Sort of. It was a Thursday afternoon, too. The bakery was about to close for the day. All day long, you'd been fretting, looking for all the right words to say what you felt. And it wasn't even to the right pony.

        Pinkie really is the kind of friend you meet in dreams. You couldn't get past the first sentence, before you wanted to run out and just go back home to forget about the entire ordeal. Somewhere hidden in your mind, you still had restrictions. What you felt went against your nature itself. You'd been raised in a world, learned to think and judge by a society you were no longer part of. You wanted to, but everything in you told you that you shouldn't. But that pink pony, that perfect pink pony with her poofy mane knew. She had to drag it out of you, but when it finally came out, she couldn't stop bouncing on the tables. She knew. And you didn't.

        Falling in love is odd. It always is. Still, you're reasonably sure that you had a extraordinary odd time. But there it was. You'd fallen in love with Fluttershy, the pegasus. Now what?

        “Ask her out on a date!” Pinkie had offered.

 

        And that brought you here. Thursday afternoon, clean-shaven and well-dressed. You can barely remember asking her in the first place. Your mind was wrecked by nerves and it all seemed to have passed in a matter of minutes. Probably because it did. For the first time, Fluttershy had met someone who was almost as nervous as her. In a haze, you remember blurting out if she maybe wanted to spend some time together, just the two of you. Thank the heavens she picked up on what you meant. If you had to spell it out, there would be no keeping count on the amounts of 'uhmm's and painful silences that would've occurred right then and there. But you didn't have to. Her tea was great, but to walk all the way from the center of town to her cottage, just for a cup of it, every single day? She might have had her suspicions for a while.

 

        With a last look in the mirror and a deep breath, you try to relax a little. You'd spent so much time together already. This wouldn't be much different. That's what you tell yourself, at least. And it sounds so reasonable, too.

        Then why won't your nerves calm down?

 

 

        The walk towards her cottage turns out to be the saving grace. With a rustic, slowly setting afternoon sun shining down on you, your heart finally begins to settle, easing its attempts to burst out of your chest and run back home, towards safety and shelter. The yellows, reds, and browns of fallen leaves crisp underneath your shoes. Here and there, the odd bird still flies from tree to tree, having absolutely no trouble finding barren twigs and branches to rest on. Most of them had already been guided south by the pegasi. These few that'd chosen to stay would soon take settlement in the nests surrounding Fluttershy's cottage, awaiting to be taken care of by the kind, demure pegasus. Idly, you wonder if she'd be willing to take care of you during wintertime.

        Ponyville in snowfall, what a sight it had to be. And soon, you'd be part of it for the very first time. It might have taken you a while, but for the first time in a long time, you feel as if you're ready to move on, eager to see what the future holds in store for you.

 

        But for now, all the future wanted out of you was to knock on the small, wooden door of a certain pony's cozy home. If there were a moment your nerves ought to flare up again, it'd be right now. But they didn't. You've always felt nice here. Two soft taps, low in tone, vibrate through the thick wood. This is something you've been thinking about for a long time now. And maybe, maybe you were wrong. There was a good chance the two of you would never be more than just friends. After today, that might not even be true any longer. You've thought about why you were so hesitant to confront your own feelings. And now, in the moment where it no longer mattered, you finally got it. She was a pony. So what? It's something you could easily look past. What mattered was Fluttershy's nature: kind, caring, soft-spoken and sweet. She's all you could've ever asked for.

        But most of all, she was your friend. And if you went through with this, you might end up losing that. You remember all the times you sat in that sofa that's just a little too small for you to really sit comfortably, with a wafting cup of tea in front of you. How she told you to be honest, to tell her how you were scared and that is was okay to feel overwhelmed. Opening up to her might have just been the thing that made you accept what your life had become. Listening to her had always worked out for the best. And this, this would be no exception to that.

        You weren't nervous anymore. You wanted this.

 

        "Hello." Confident as she tried to sound, even having managed to hide that stutter she still occasionally had around you, the blush on her cheeks betrayed her. It almost seemed as if you'd simply passed on your nervousness onto her. It showed in the way she stood there, so tensed up, her wings pressing themselves hard into her sides like they always did when she was terrified. It didn't seem to make sense. To you, this felt like taking a risk, the first step you made in this world on your own behalf. If you somehow managed to ruin this, you'd lose half of those whom you hold dearest to you. But she, she had so many friends. So many ponies whom held her in high regards, if not only for the fact that she'd saved this world a handful of times. Not even accounting for her gentle nature that made it seem impossible to grow mad at her.

        You might end up losing so much and still, she was more nervous than you. She was just as frightened to lose you as you were to lose her. What did you get yourself into?

 

        "Hey."

 

        Had you really been standing there in silence for so long? If Fluttershy's surprised squeak and the attempt she made to hide behind her mane was anything to go by, it seemed that you had. With a step, you close the distance that was left between you both, coming to rest next to her in the door frame. You crouch down, leveling with her before you let your hand stroke her mane, clearing her long bangs away from her eyes. Idly, you let your hand run along, all the way down her neck until you reach her haunches. By now, the mare's already looking back in your eyes, a faint tinge of red still lingering on her cheeks.

        "Ready to go?" you ask as you stand up again.

        She nods, softly, letting her bangs fall back in their usual position. She tries blowing them to the side again, before looking up at you with embarrassment on her face as her cheeks begin to burn once again. You can't, nor try to hold back a slight smile as you begin to walk back towards town, the flustered pegasus hot on your trail.

        "W-where, uhm..." she begins, swallowing deeply to regain some of her composure. "Where are we going?"

A faint breeze blows by, cool in temperature and not entirely unpleasant. It makes the leaves lift and twirl up, scraping along the ground as they intertwine with one another. They dance in the wind, unstructured and with no one to answer to. There'd be a time where you'd be like that again, too. She'd help you make it there.

        "I was thinking we'd go take a walk in the forest." You look down on the mare, slowly but surely beginning to walk closer to you. "Just enjoy the peace and quiet?" you offer. "Unless you'd like to go into town or something..."

        Meekly, she nods her head. Her coat brushes your sides slightly as she brings herself closer to you. "The forest sounds nice, Anon."

 

        The walk is silent, but it forms no hindrance. Occasionally, you sneak glances at Fluttershy as she sneaks glances at you. Simply admitting that there might be more to your fascination with the mare than friendship had apparently been the nudge she needed to show her own affection towards you. With the last birds as your witnesses, you stride off into the distance together, back towards Ponyville. Midway across, you find what you were looking for. The path to the cabin of the zebra that lived in—

        "T-t-the Everfree f-forest?" Fluttershy suddenly says as you turn into the trail. "Why would you go there?"

 

Your brow quickly takes to the sky and you turn around to meet the mare's frightened features. "I thought you were fine with just a walk in the forest?"

 

        Hastily shaking her head, Fluttershy takes a step back in hesitance. "I-I thought you wanted to go t-to the Whitetail Woods. We could see if the track of the Falling of Leaves is still up?"—She casts a quick glance over her shoulder towards the outlines of Ponyville in the distance—"Not the Everfree forest... Don't go in there, Anon."

        "What's wrong?" You walk closer to her again. The mere prospect of entering these woods had unnerved her fiercely. Shivers ran down her frame and you doubt the breeze to be the cause of them.

        "The Everfree is..." She takes a step closer to you, brushing her coat against your leg. This time, you feel as if she simply needs someone to lean on, even literally. "It's full of s-strange creatures." Her teal eyes plead, drilling themselves deep into your own. "It's dangerous going in there, Anon. Let's go somewhere else..."

        Crouching down, you let a hand run down her mane again. She leans into your touch, visibly finding comfort in the simple motion. "You don't need to be scared." She looks at you, a slight hint of doubt still showing in her expression. You bring yourself closer to her, your eyes but mere inches removed from each other. "Nothing bad will ever happen to you when I'm around, okay?"

        With hesitation still laced in her motions, though less so than before, she nods against your hand. "D-do you really want to go there?"

 

        You didn't. The walk to the Whitetail Woods might have been more than twice the distance, but you couldn't really say you minded spending more time with Fluttershy. You nodded at her.

        "Come on, let's go," you said, gently smiling at her as you got up again. You had to prove something. What is was and to whom, you didn't know, but you felt like you just had to do this. Going into this forest and facing Fluttershy's fears. Maybe after today, you could explain it. But now, all you needed to do was to simply keep walking, showing her there'd be nothing to be afraid of.

        "Anon?"

        You slowed your pacing, looking down at her, noting how her wings no longer squeezed themselves against her sides.

        "I-I'm really glad you asked me out..."

        A deep breath rushed down your lungs. The fall air was cold and the inhale nearly made you shiver. "Me too, Fluttershy."

 

        You honestly couldn't place why she was afraid of this place. It wasn't negligible how the trees in this forest still held most of their leaves, but apart from that, this place seemed like any other forest; it was quiet and peaceful, just like you'd expected it to be at this time a year. The path led to Zecora's cabin, but that wasn't where you were headed. You'd taken the liberty of exploring this forest already and you hadn't run into any of the 'strange creatures' Fluttershy apparently was afraid of. What you found instead had been much more pleasant. Taking a sharp right, you went straight into the wilderness, heading directly for what you'd came across earlier.

        "Oh, w-we really shouldn't leave the path," Fluttershy softly said, still following you closeby.

        You turned around, halting in place to grant the pegasus a smile. "Just trust me." Your confidence aided her a little, though it was still clear she didn't trust this place much. She trotted so close to you that you felt her coat chafe across your leg every step you took.

 

        Soon, you were among familiar grounds again. To you, at least. The path took on a faint incline and it wouldn't be long before you'd arrive. You went on walks pretty often; it proved to be an easy way to clear your head and to be left alone. And just a few weeks ago, you'd found it; so quiet and desolate that it seemed as if you were the first to come across it in the entirety of time. And it didn't take much longer before you reached the clearing atop of the hill, granting you a gorgeous view of the sun, barely touching the horizon.

 

        "Oh..."

 

        It's all she could muster forth at the sight displaying itself in front of her. The first time you'd come here, you hadn't been much better. This world was so strange, entirely different from the one you came from. But sometimes, it was just so much more beautiful. The transition from sunset to nightsky had been one of those things to absolutely baffle you. Everything looked the same. But it didn't feel the same.

 

        The sun began to dip beyond the horizon and in this very moment, the sky was clad in a singular, golden hue. You sat yourself down in the clearing, Fluttershy following your motions swiftly. By no means had the walk been far, but still, you felt tired somehow.

        Closing your eyes, you let a deep breath calm you down as you lied down in the clearing. Fluttershy seemed hesitant for a moment, looking around her as if she could be attacked any moment. But as you let your hand idly run from the top of her neck all the way down to her hoof, she cast a gentle smile at you, lying herself down in the grass as well. She nuzzled herself against your side and soon after, you hear her breathe a sigh of relief.

 

        "H-how did you find this place? It's beautiful."

 

        Lazily, you looked down, meeting Fluttershy's expression of enjoyment. You've seen Fluttershy smile a lot, but the one she granted you now seemed to be of an entirely different nature. Maybe it was the way her mane splayed itself out on your chest. Or the twinkle in her eyes, reflecting the golden sunlight, amplifying its radiance tenfold. It could be the warmth you felt, inside and out. The comfort of an embrace between two like-minded souls. There were so many reasons and in the end, you suppose it didn't matter which one truly made the moment into what it was.

        You cup her cheek, her soft coat tickling the palm of your hand as you let your fingers slip past her ears. She coos, leaning into your touch once again, humming a soft tune as your fingers twirl in patterns behind them.

 

        "I've got a knack for finding beautiful things."

 

        Her eyes fluttered open for a moment, meeting yours as a furious blush burned on her cheeks. She closed her eyes again, nestling herself atop your chest.

        As time past by, the golden light diminished, turning a dark brown that somehow retained the beauty of its aurelean counterpart.

        The afternoon breeze blew by again, even colder this time around and soon, the two of you realized that, eventually, you'd have to leave. You'd enjoyed the embrace in silence, so relaxed that you floated on the edge of sleep. When you opened your eyes again, you were met with a skyline, only moments away from turning a royal dark-blue.

        Fluttershy, too, seemed to have picked up on just how fast the afternoon had passed. Reluctantly, whining softly in the process, she lifted her head from your chest.

        "Anon, w-we have t-to..."

 

        You sighed, already missing the warmth and weight of Fluttershy's body against yours.

 

        "...I know." Intent on not needlessly dragging this departure any longer than it had to, you tried to stand up again, only to be halted by Fluttershy as you sat up. As her hoof rested on your shoulder, her mane danced in the soft wind. In the distance, the hoot of an owl could be heard.

 

        The last light of the day danced in her eyes as she spoke, "Thank you for telling me not to be afraid."

Puckering her lips, she places a gentle kiss on your cheek. "I really liked today, Anon."

 

        This time, you were victim of an embarassing blush yourself and for just a moment, you found yourself speechless at her sudden bravado.

        The cheek she'd blessed felt like it burned brighter than a lighthouse as you stroked Fluttershy's coat for the last time that day. On one hand, you were reluctant to get up and let this day come to an end. But you knew you couldn't stay here forever.

 

        "Me too, Fluttershy. I'm glad we got to spend some time together out here."

 

        On the other, there'd always be tomorrow. And now, you'd wake up tomorrow with the knowledge that you had more than just a friend in Fluttershy. But still, you didn't want this day to be over, waiting to become nothing but a pleasant memory in both your minds.

        Plucking one of the yellow and red flowers that grew at your side, you placed it in Fluttershy's strands of soft pink. Turning her gaze to the patch of flowers, Fluttershy gasped softly.

 

        "I told you I had a knack for finding beautiful things..."

 

        A soft giggle, so unlike her, brushed past her lips as she nuzzled her head against you again.

 

        "I'm so glad you brought me here," she softly said. "You make me feel so safe."

 

        As you heard her speak those words, you felt that nagging doubt that told you to stay here disappear.

Making her feel safe, it felt right. Much like you felt this afternoon, confidence and a sense of calmness washed over you. This world might be different and strange, but if you could make her feel safe, wasn't it all worth it?

        You'd tamed her fears and your own as well. And the flower, hooked behind her ear, would be symbol of that. Together, you'd never have to fear again.

 

        "Come on, let's go home."

 

 

        There'd always be tomorrow.

       

 

 

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                                                        Winter

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                                                       Honeywort

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