[FR] Rave/Rape (Part IV - Final)

And once more, I had absolutely no idea what to do with this story (I never intended this to go further than part I) so I went with what got ‘suggested’ here.

http://archive.heinessen.com/mlp/thread/S7476276#p7497013

 

>Everyone likes ‘comforting Fluttershy’ stories, right ?

 

Well, let’s hope so, Anon.

 

                                        *******

 

 

>Stumbling down the unlit path, you lean against a tree for a moment to catch your breath.

>What... What was that word you were looking for?

>Giddy? No, that wasn't it.

>Excited? No, that wasn't right either.

>...

>A—

>Something with an A...

>Granted, you had a little bit too much to drink but this shouldn't be this hard.

>You just needed to focus for a moment and then you'd surely find it. Right?

>How hard could it be?

>There weren't that many words starting with an A, were there?

>Applejack starts with an A but you're pretty sure you weren't thinking about Applejack.

>Though you could go for some apple pie right now.

>And a nice mug of cold cider wouldn't be half bad either.

>Maybe you should go to Sweet Apple Acres tomorrow and p—

 

>Wait.

>What were you thinking about again?

>Oh yeah, tha—

>Anxious!

>That was the word.

>You were feeling anxious.

>Now if only you could figure out why.

 

>After you'd taken care of the stallion in that alley, you'd started walking home.

>As you were making your way back towards Ponyville, the alcohol's effect begin kicking in, only increasing with every step you took.

>You kept replaying what had transpired in that alley in your mind.

>How that stallion lied to you; how he desperately squirmed away from you; the pure, unaltered fear behind his eyes when you told him what you'd do to him if he ever dared to come near Ponyville again.

>There was no doubt in your mind that you'd never see him again.

>No one would be that stupid.

>And still...

>You felt anxious. Unresolved.

>As if you'd forgotten something.

>Did you overlook something?

 

>Adrenaline coursed through your veins which, combined with the alcohol, caused a very irregular beating of your heart.

>Everything was taken care off, right?

>Then why did you feel so... so nervous.

>So frustrated. So goddamn restless.

>You'd taken care of the thing that'd upset you, then why weren't you feeling any better?

>Looking around, you discern that you aren't moving.

>When did you stop walking?

>Shrugging in bewilderment, you push yourself up straight again.

>Oh!

>And now you're sitting in the dirt...

>Used a little too much force there, Anon.

>Placing your hands in front of you, you sit on your knees for a moment.

>Your vision was all over the place.

>Damn, what the hell did Bluey gave you in the first place?

>No wonder that stallion went down without much of a fight...

>Taking a few deep breaths, you begin the countdown.

>Okay, on three you were going to get up.

>Okay.

>Okay, on three.

>One.

>Two.

>Three.

>Houston, we have lift-off!

>Alright, mission 'standing up straight' is a success.

>Now for mission 'making it home'.

>

 

>After a few minutes of walking, you're quite content with the progress you made.

>Well...

>Apart from the fact that you didn't really know where you were going. At all.

>Let's see where you ended up.

>Leaning against something sturdy, you come to a halt and try to stop your head from spinning.

"I think I've earned a little breather, don't you think?"

>When you don't receive anything for an answer, you try to figure out whom you're talking to in the first place.

>Propping yourself up straight once more, you're met with an old friend of yours.

"House!"

>You immediately hug the front door you were leaning against.

"When did you get here?"

>And once more, you are met with silence.

"Aaaah, I can always count on you, house."

>You accentuate your gratitude by patting its outer walls.

"I owe you one, buddy," you slur, before stumbling through the front door.

>Dragging your feet in here wasn't quite the smartest thing you'd done this night.

>Then again, you hadn't exactly done a lot of smart things this night either.

>You, nor anyone else for that matter, had set foot in this place for several weeks.

>Dragging your feet had caused the dust that once peacefully resided on your floor to take to the air, causing you to cough up a storm.

 

>Frantically waving your arms around, you try to break up the dust cloud and find some fresh air to breathe.

"You cannot *AHHEM* win against me *UGH* dustmonster!"

>Spinning around on one leg, you kick the supposed monster in half.

"I shall slayeth thee!"

>You're not quite sure how long you were spinning on that leg but it sure seemed to take a while.

>Wait no, that's not right...

>Ah, it appears you have fallen down, it was just your vision that was still spinning.

>Oh well, at least it didn't hurt.

>Looking down, you see that you've landed on your sofa.

>Guess this is just as good as the bed...

>Staring up at the ceiling, your heart rate finally begins to slow down.

>That, unfortunately, had the side-effect that you could think slightly more clearly now.

 

>There was something wrong.

>You felt cold, despite the fact that it was pretty much mid-summer.

>Every thought that formed itself in your head fell apart in a matter of seconds.

>The only thing that you could clearly focus on was Fluttershy's cottage.

>Just thinking about it already made you feel a bit warmer.

>You'd really grown fond of that place over the past few weeks.

>It was a good thing that you had the alcohol to lower your restrictions, at least you could think freely now.

>Your mind starts to replay the time spent over the past few weeks.

>The way you found Fluttershy the day after the party...

>It pained you to recall that.

>How she told you of how she felt betrayed by you...

>You'd never actually seen it before, but Fluttershy's 'Stare' apparently was something to be absolutely terrified off.

>And yet you were certain that nothing could ever hurt you as much than the way she looked at you that day.

>The hurt was so clear in her eyes.

>You'd vowed to make it up to her.

>...

>'Make it up'

>That sounded so simple.

>As if you were two little kids playing and you'd broken one of her toys.

>If only it could be so easy...

>No, what you did would be something that you wouldn't be forgiven for.

>And yet, when Fluttershy looked at you nowadays, there was nothing in her eyes that showed anything other than kindness towards you.

>She'd already forgiven you long ago.

>Then...

>Then why did you still feel so... unresolved over this entire situation.

>It wasn't forgiveness that you asked for. You'd already been granted that.

>What was it that you wanted from her? Why couldn't you stop thinking about her?

>Bolting to your feet again, you make your way towards the door.

>You were so cold.

>Only she could provide you with warmth.

>Slamming the door shut behind you, you set out for the cottage on the edge of town.

>Time to go home.

 

>Your balance was still off but something drove you towards there that made the entire trip seem to pass in a blur.

>Honestly, you had no idea how you'd gotten here this fast.

>Though it could've been several hours later as well, you didn't really know.

>The moon was still suspended high in the sky, the dawn of the next day still a long time away.

>As gently as your inebriation allows you, you open the door to the cottage and enter inside.

>The lack of illumination forms no problem for you, seeing as how you'd familiarized yourself with the insides of the cottage for a few weeks now.

>In the corner of your eye, you see the soft glow of the few nocturnal animals Fluttershy had.

>Your lips curl themselves into a soft smile. This place always felt so... alive, is what'd you call it.

>You always felt welcome here. Accepted.

>Leaving your shoes downstairs, as to not wake Fluttershy with the loud clicking of their soles against the stairs, you begin to ascend towards her bedroom.

>With a soft nudge, the door slowly creaked open.

>You cringe, hoping that the noise hadn't roused her from her sleep.

>The steady rising and falling of the blanket draped over her unconscious form assured you of that and you relax once more.

>The moonlight coming in through the window gave an eerie sense of beauty to the sight in front of you.

>If it weren't for the barely audible sounds of her breathing and the slight movement of the blankets obscuring her partially from your sight, the entirety of it all seemed to stand still in time.

>You take a seat on the edge of her bed and stare down on her sleeping form.

>Every so often, her face would scrunch up a bit and she made a kissing motion with her lips.

>It made you content. She was dreaming peacefully.

>Even without your protection she was fine.

 

>...

>It got you to think.

>Did it even matter? If you 'protected' her?

>Looking in hindsight, you begin to wonder why you bothered with all the trouble of looking for the stallion.

>Fluttershy hadn't benefited any from it.

>That sense of closure you were longing for?

>Nowhere to be found.

>If anything, you felt more uneasy than ever.

>There was /something/ that you hadn't dealt with.

>Something that made you feel like this.

>This nervous feeling, running you on edge and you had nothing to take it out on other than yourself.

>What was it that upsets you so?

>What was it that you wanted?

 

>A soft whimper distracts you from your inner turmoil for which you can only be grateful.

>Fluttershy's peaceful demeanor from moments ago had left her.

>She was whimpering in fear, her hindleg kicking against the blanket as she seemed to struggle.

"Shhhhhh..."

>Delicately placing a hand on her withers, you softly begin to pet her, hoping to comfort her somewhat.

"It's okay, I'm here now..."

>The kicking of her leg subdues, and her whimpering halts as well.

>Instead, she begins to shiver underneath the blankets and her breathing becomes irregular; varying from deep inhales of air, almost making it appear as if she were gasping to short and raspy puffs, seemingly as if she were on the verge of drowning.

>You whisper reassuring thoughts to her, hoping she would hear you.

>That familiar voice. The one that vowed to help her and stay by her side no matter what.

>Your faith was misplaced however as she kept shivering in her sleep.

>And so you did what you did the first time you found her like this.

>Laying yourself down beside her, you pull her close to your body, sharing your warmth with her.

>You keep telling her everything will be alright as you run a hand down her side.

>The shivering finally ceases and she visibly relaxes again.

>With nothing but the soft breathing of Fluttershy to focus on, you feel your eyelids grow heavier.

>You could just take a little nap.

>As long as you went back to your own house before she woke up, it would all be fine.

>Sighing contentedly, you let sleep take you to a far away land. One where you finally find peace.

>...

>...

 

 

>...

>"..non ..do.. ..ere?"

>She spoke to you.

>Softly. Gently.

>Kind and gracefully.

>Every aspect of her seemed to carry those same values.

>The values you cherished. The ones you envied.

>You hear her voice call for you in the dark.

>A sense of warmth spread throughout your core.

>She needed you.

>And you n—

>"Anon."

>Your world shakes and falls apart.

>Soothing dark becomes harsh light.

>Soft songs becomes confused whispering.

>Surrounding warmth becomes passing breeze.

>Dream becomes reality again.

>"Anon, wake up."

>Something nudges you in the side, waking you from your sleep.

>No. Not something.

>Someone. Somepony

>Your eyes adjust to the lighting revealing a pair of big teal eyes staring at you.

>You blink in confusion.

>Then fragments of the night past return to you.

>...

>You fell asleep.

>In Fluttershy's bed.

>With Fluttershy in it.

>You try to maintain your composure despite the awkwardness of the situation.

>"A-Anon, what are you doing here? I thought that you were... um, sleeping at your own home?"

>She didn't sound mad. Just confused.

>You think you would have preferred it if she'd gotten mad instead.

"Uh... yeah, I ..."

>...

>Yeah, you what?

>Why did you think this was a good idea?

>Even drunk you should've known nothing good could come of this.

>And you did. You did know nothing good would happen.

>But you did it regardless...

>Something made you persist. Something kept you going.

>Just...

>What?

 

"I... uh... couldn't sleep... So I came back last night."

>At least that much was true.

>"O-Okay, b-but why are you sleeping in my bed?

"I... uh... I-I must have taken the wrong room by mistake?"

>Oh God, you're a horrible liar.

>You don't want to lie to her in the first place.

>"Oh... uhm... o-okay then?"

>You don't know if she believes you or if she just wants to get this situation diffused as quickly as possible.

>Probably the latter.

>"I'm just gonna go now, okay?"

>She shuffles out from underneath the blankets, leaving you alone in the bed that suddenly seems far too big.

>...

>Now that you were alone again, you let your mask break.

>A sigh escapes you as you feel the cold creep up again.

>Not matter how much you'd defer it...

>You had some serious thinking to do.

 

 

>Not on an empty stomach though.

>You wanted to get some food for thought first.

>Literally.

>Though, given what just passed, breakfast with Fluttershy would be a little awkward now, to say the least.

>You still had some bits left from last night.

>Breakfast in town it was then.

>You get out of the bed, still dressed in your clothes from last night.

>It is only then you note that you hardly have a hangover.

>Good. The last thing you needed right now was even more weight on your head.

>Out of politeness, you make Fluttershy's bed for her.

>Somehow, you felt like it was something that you needed to do.

>After that, you take your leave.

>Walking down the hallway, you hear the shower running.

>Once more you sigh.

>At least that was one confrontation you could delay a little while longer.

>With heavy feet and an equally heavy heart, you begin the march to towns' center.

>This morning felt... gray.

>Things were usually so vivid around here. So alive.

>But right now, it was as all color had been sucked out of your environment.

>Every step was a little bit harder than the last.

>You knew that you were merely delaying.

>If only you knew what you were delaying in the first place.

 

 

>Eventually, you found yourself in front of Sugarcube Corner.

>At least this place seemed to hold a bit of its color.

>You push open the door, a little bell signaling your entry upon doing so.

>The entire place was empty, though considering the fact that the sun was only barely halfway visible on the horizon yet, that wasn't such a surprise.

>Few moments later, the door of the kitchen swings open and Pinkie prances behind the counter.

>"Morning Nonny~" she chirps. "You're up early..."

>Heh. 'Nonny'... Even if you didn't get out much, Pinkie still considered you her friend.

>Then again, having 'the alien' as a friend probably was mandatory for her.

"Hey Pinkie," you try to greet her at least somewhat enthusiastically.

>Without much success.

>Pinkie frowns briefly, looking at you with a look that seemed to go straight trough you.

>It unnerved you more than just a bit.

>You quickly try to redirect her attention away from you.

"So uh... What would you recommend for breakfast?"

>You point at the various confections that were on display.

>That seemed to draw her focus well enough.

>With a hop, a skip and a jump, she bounces from behind the counter towards the display.

>"Oh, that's a tricky one, Nonny..."

>She taps her hoof against her chin whilst going over the rows and rows of delicacies with the other.

>How she managed to keep her balance sitting like that was beyond you.

>"Hmmmm..."

>It's like you asked her what the meaning of life was.

>Then again, to her these sweet treats probably were the meaning of life.

"Just recommend me something, Pinkie. It's not that important."

>She drops back down on all four hooves and her brow furrows much deeper this time.

>"That's so not true, Anonso. This is super important!"

>This sudden shift in demeanor took you back. You didn't think she took /this/ much pride in her work.

>"The kind of treat a pony buys says a lot about that pony."

>You might have thought she was setting up a joke but the tone in her voice told you that that was most certainly not the scenario.

>"See... I like cupcakes with strawberries and hotsauce."

>She points towards some red pastries in the corner of the display.

>"They're too spicy for most ponies but to me there's nothing like 'em."

>"And that's why they go so well with me. I'm always totally super excited but sometimes that can be a little too much for other ponies. Like for Cranky... He doesn't like it when I'm all loco in the coco but then I know I just need to be little less loco for a bit when I'm with him."

>"We're still really good friends even if I can be a bit too much for him at times."

 

"I don't really see what this has to do with my breakfast though..."

>She grins widely at you as if you just asked her the stupidest thing, like what the color of her mane was.

>"If you want me to pick something for you, that means that you think I know you just as good as I know me."

>"That's a huuuuge responsibility you're giving me, Nonny..."

>"Let's see..." She continues tapping her hoof against her chin.

>"You're a bit shy..."

>Social recluse would be more accurate.

>"But you're really nice..."

>Try coward.

>"And you care a lot about your friends..."

>Out of guilt.

>"And you can really drink a lot of cider."

>Well, at least that's true.

>"Oh! I know! Strawberry frosted eclair with vanilla filling!"

>"I just know you'll love it!"

 

>This entire ordeal had only dragged you further down. To be reminded of all the things you weren't...

"I think I'll just have a plain doughnut and some coffee."

"Sorry, I shouldn't have bothered you with making my decisions for me."

>"Oh." Her smile faltered ever so slightly.

>"If that's what you want..."

>She looks at you again, though her expression seemed to have changed into something you've never seen on Pinkie before.

>Her smile was still there, but it seemed to have lost its exuberance.

>It was a kind smile. One meant to comfort rather than to instill laughter.

>"Just take a seat, I'll bring you your things in a bit."

 

>You turn around, and go to take a seat in one of the booths.

>Your fingers rhythmically bounce up and down the table as you wait for Pinkie to come.

>Luckily, the wait was short and you weren't given the chance to fall back into the realm of confusion and apprehension.

>"Here you go," Pinkie's joyful voice spoke.

 

>A doughnut on a plate and a cup of black coffee.

>Mundane, to the point where it was bleak.

>That's more like you.

"Thanks, Pinkie."

>You take a bite of the pastry and wash it down with some coffee.

>Nourishment. That's all this was.

>It lacked in flavor, but then again... this entire world had been lacking in flavor as of late.

 

>With the falling and rising of your chest comes a sigh.

>It was hollow and demure, for you did not know what had caused you to sigh.

>You did not know.

>There were so many things that you didn't know.

>There was the past, of which you know it to be troubled.

>There is the present, of which you know it to be uncertain.

>And there is the future, of which you know nothing.

>You take a sip of coffee and stare into the remainder at the bottom of the cup.

>In the reflection, a muddled man stares at you.

>Who is he?

>And what does he want?

 

>"Anon?"

>A pink hoof comes to rest atop of your own hand.

>"Is there something you want to talk about?"

>You nod into the reflection.

"No."

>Your free hand works its way into your pocket and fishes out a few bits.

>You stand up straight and leave them on the table.

>Pinkie takes a step back as you slide out of the booth.

"There's something I need to talk about. But not with you."

>You look down on her and smile.

"Thanks, Pinkie."

>The jingle of the bell marks the door falling shut behind you.

>Pinkie glanced back at the treat she picked out earlier. "I just know you'd love it."

 

>The door fell shut behind you and you ran.

>The world was there but it does not need you. It has a place for you but it does not need you.

>But that little cottage, at the edge of town, where the wounded came to be healed...

>You had a home there. They needed you there.

>You ran, because you had reason to.

>In the past, you ran because you were afraid of what you thought you knew.

>In the present, you run because you are afraid of what you don't know.

>But in the future, you might walk. Because you'll know.

>Were it seconds, minutes or hours before you reached the cottage?

>You do not know.

>There are so many things you do not know.

>But the answers lay beyond this door you just walked trough.

>Soon, you would know.

 

>She looked at you like you'd gone mad.

>Maybe you had. But you needed to a—

>"Anon, what's the matter?"

>You're panting, only now did the pain in your chest and lungs kick in.

"We... need to... talk," you groan out, trying to becalm your breath.

>You look at her, your expression pained as you are yourself.

>Her eyes widen and she shakes her head. "No..."

>She takes a step back. "You said I didn't have to..."

>You reach out to her.

"No, I didn't mean—"

>She flinches.

>...

>She flinched. You scare her.

>Everything you try to protect her from, all the mistakes you made in the past.

>And now she thinks you're one of them

"Please."

>You crouch down, reaching out to her but halting in the middle.

"I need to talk to you."

>She meets you there.

"We need to talk..."

>You take a seat on the ground and she does so too.

"We need to talk about us."

 

>She looks at you, her eyes displaying so many emotions yet none conclusive enough to pick out.

>And it's exactly how you feel now too.

>It started out so little.

>It seems so long ago now too.

>So much has changed.

>But that thought now holds more truth to it than ever.

>'Maybe she's not that bad'.

>One instance of doubt.

>That's all the cause that was needed.

>And trough time, it had developed into this maelstrom of conflict that now rampages trough you.

"What are we to each other?" you ask her and yourself.

>She looks down, at the ground, refusing to look at you.

"What do you want me to be?"

>"W-What are you talking about, Anon?"

>So soft-spoken...

>A voice like crystal, ready to shatter.

>Your hand brushes over her hoof and you come to look at each other.

 

"I tried to protect you..."

>Your hand is shaking against her.

"... but I can't. I'm not good enough. I hurt you, and I can't make it go away."

"I don't know... I don't know what you want me to be."

>You look and you wait.

>Wait for whatever it was that you deserved.

>Not her. You didn't deserve her.

>What you did, had only been an act of remorse.

>It should have never happened.

>You look and you see. There it was again.

>See her expression pierce you.

>Those eyes. You've seen them before.

>When you found her.

>So much hurt, betrayal, and pain.

>All of it, with you to blame for it.

>"So that's why you've spent so much time with me, because you feel guilty for what happened to me..."

"No!"

>She flinches again but you don't stop.

"That's not... I'm not..."

>Your chest pounds and you hate yourself.

"Why am I so bad at this?!"

>Your face falls into your hands.

>Deep breaths serve to calm you down.

 

>You take her hooves in your hands.

>You can't let go. Not until you know.

>In the past you'd made mistakes. Horrible, horrible mistakes.

>At least this once, you could try to be better than yourself.

>You look into her eyes and let them hurt you.

>This is what you deserve.

"I'm sorry. And that's not nearly enough, I know that. I hurt you, in so many ways."

>For once, you could try to be honest with yourself.

"You're so beautiful and I ruined you."

>Your voice stocks in your throat.

>What's the point in running away when what you're running from is sitting right in front of you?

"I thought I felt guilty. And I do. But that's not why I'm here. I want to help you."

"Because... I... I..."

 

>Your hands are shaking, but you can't let go.

"I like you and I want to see you happy."

>One by one: the anger, the fear, the hurt, the betrayal, they began to fade.

"And I know I did so many stupid things in the past but I want to make up for them. I care about you. I really do."

>You should feel a rush.

>There should be a pounding in your heart and panic in your mind.

>You should be so very afraid of all the things that could happen now.

>But instead, a wave of relief washes over you.

"I care about you so much. I just... I didn't know."

>Your eyes find hers, soft and kind as they'd always been when she looked at you.

"Just tell me what you want me to be. How I can make you happy again..."

>You let go.

>You bring your hands to her face and cup her cheeks.

>Tears roll down them but you fare no better yourself.

"You need to smile. It's wrong to see you like this. And I did this. Tell me!"

>She still refused to open them.

"Tell me what you need!"

>She trembles as she meets your gaze.

>Quietly, the tears roll down her cheeks as she smiles.

>"...Be yourself," she whispers, "for me."

 

>It's such a stark contrast.

>The coldness of the tears rolling down your cheeks and the warmth of her lips pressed against yours.

>And you've never welcomed such conflicting sensations more than now.

>You lean into her, wiping away her sorrows.

>You know now. You know that the future has a place for you.

>Right next to her.

>Together, you'll walk.

>And you won't be afraid.

>Because you have her. And she has you.

>Together, nothing can harm you.

>Because you'll be there to protect her.

>And she'll be there to show you the beauty of a foreign world.

>Together, you smile.

>Together, you cry.

 

>Together, you love.