Thread 12: Stories 46-60

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@Day Guard 1@

&Day Guard 2&

~~~~~

 

&So.&

 

@Yep.@

 

&Wanna fill me in on... uh... all this?&

 

@Which part? The changeling chewing a hole in the drywall, the one nailing plywood over the murals, the one sticking lightbulbs in the gobs of marshmallow? How about the one armed with a hacksaw working on the column? Or the one running cellophane across the hole in the ceiling? There's really just so many to choose from.@

 

&...That column, is it load-bearing?&

 

@Probably? I dunno man, I'm just paid to put on the armor and look pretty.@

 

&If it is load-bearing, and he manages to cut through it, the entire room could collapse.&

 

@Neat.@

 

&...&

 

@...@

 

&I'm going to follow the time-honored tradition of ignoring the problem until it solves itself.&

 

@Most sensible thing I've heard all day. Wanna get lunch?@

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

>18

"42"

~~~~

 

>You see the shit I have to put up with?

 

"Yes. I see it every day. And you inform me, just in case my eyes were to suddenly fail me. If I should ever become blinded horribly, I at least have the comfort of knowing the exact goings on of your day to day life."

 

>Seriously, this shit is insane. All I see are requests, requests, requests, and law proposals from Chrysalis.

 

"...Law proposals?"

 

>She's trying to get that same law passed that got passed in Canterlot.

 

"...OH! The uh... yeah."

 

>To this day, I am still stunned Chrysalis had nothing to do with it.

 

"Meh, who knows. Maybe Celestia needed to cover some tracks."

 

>HAH! Or maybe Rarity needed to get some bonus pay on a dress.

 

"Or maybe Twilight tried experimenting in all the wrong ways."

 

>...They're all still way luckier than us, though.

 

"I'll have you know I am very dedicated to my work, and have no need or desire for any kind of romantic pursuits."

 

>...

 

"...SHUT UP YOU DON'T KNOW!"

 

>...

 

"I am! I am a model of effeciancy! I'm great, just great with my life, totally happy with the way EVERYTHING is turning out, and do not want to ri-I mean, I do not want to change a single thing. I've got a warm comfy bed, steady food, friends, my Queen is happy, Cadence and Shining Armor are happy, everyone is happy....EVERYONE. Including me."

 

>...

 

"...A-hem... everyone."

 

>...You need a hug?

 

"I do not NEED anything of the sort....but if you are offering, I have learned from Two that it is never wise to pass up a free hug. Hugs are great. I don't need it, but I like it anyway. The hugs, I mean... Hug me, please."

 

And hug her she did.

 

>Better?

 

"There is nothing for this hug to make better, but if there were I would say yes, this hug is betterifying it. Appreciated."

 

>Anytime.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

>Applejack

"Celestia"

[???]

{???}

~~~~

 

>Tia? Got a question.

 

"And I have... A TRAP DOOR! HAH!"

 

*CLICK~SWING!*

 

"...Could you move, just, a liiiiiitle to the left."

 

>No.

 

"Spoilsport."

 

>As Ah' was sayin' are ya' makin' sure Luna's up ta' date on what a filly can handle?

 

"...Rephrase that immediately."

 

>Are ya' makin' sure she isn't doin' anything TOO scary when she pops inta' fillies dreams ta' give 'em a talkin' to?

 

"...She talks to ponies in their dreams? I thought she just watched."

 

>...Shiiiiiiit.

 

~~~ELSEHWHERE!~~~~

 

[FUCK! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!]

 

{Such language from one so young! This is exactly why we are trying to show you the error of your ways}

 

[AHHHHHHHHHHH!]

 

{HRMPH! This is but the lead in! Why, in my days, we fought all manner of crazed monsters and beasts, I would personally slay five of these before we broke for a quick snack!}

 

[WHY DOES IT HAVE EYES ON IT'S HOOVES!?]

 

{Why wouldn't it?}

 

[AHHHHHHHHHH!]

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

>Applejack

"Celestia"

'Luna'

-Twilight-

~Fluttershy~

[???]

{???}

~~~~~

 

>Alright, new princess meetin' is in order! Now we jus' gotta... where's Fluttershy?

 

"Hm? Weird, we saw her on the way."

 

'Are you sure? I bumped into her while flying towards the castle.'

 

-What? She just helped me not two hours ago.-

 

>Huh... that's weird-

 

*SLAM!*

 

Everyone's eyes snapped to the door, and locked in place. Not that they could possibly have moved, the figure standing in the doorway was a bit of an attention grabber.

 

~Line up.~

 

The crack of a whip in the air made everyone flinch. It was almost as unsettling as watching her rub said whip over her leather corset, and give it a lick.

 

~I'm about to make you my new harem. And you are going to BEG me for it.~

 

[THERE SHE IS!]

 

{FIRE ALL CANNONS!}

 

Nimble as a wisp of air, the yellow alicorn dodged every shot, and whipped the ones she couldn't right out of the air. The wall beside her crumbled away to reveal... Fluttershy.

 

[I'm here too!]

 

Discord was there too.

 

*CRACK!*

 

~Do you really think you could possibly take me?~

 

[Well... No, not me specifically, because SOMEONE insisted on having counter magic to mine!]

 

{I'm sorry! I didn't know this was going to happen!}

 

[...Okay, I admit, this one would have been kind of hard to predict. But the point still... where'd she go?]

 

>Er, Fluttershy Dominatrix mode kinda ran off while ya'll were bickerin'.

 

[DAMN IT!]

 

{That keeps happening!}

 

"Stop arguing, maybe?"

 

[You stay out of this! All of you, STAY OUT OF THIS!]

 

{Please? She's very forceful.}

 

>...So, ya' gonna explain it?

 

{...No.}

 

>...

 

"...alright! Have fun."

 

[We will!]

 

{After her!... please? Thank you.}

 

>...

"..."

'...'

-...THAT EXPLAINS SO MUCH."

 

>Right? Why didn't any o' us question her actin' all out o' character before.

 

"Just seems silly now."

 

'...Who was that mare?'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

>Pinkie

"Fluttershy"

[???]

{???}

~~~~

 

>Hey! You can't do that! That's my thing!

 

"Ohhh, I'm so sorry! I'm useless and worthless and-"

 

*SLAP!*

 

>I said that's MY thing! The whole 'hair goes flat and you're all sad looking' thing! THAT'S PINKAMENA'S THING!

 

"I'm sooooor-"

 

*SLAP!*

 

>Be happy!

 

"I caaaaan't-"

 

*SLAP!"

 

>Come on everypony smile smile smile!

 

"I don't waaaanna siiiiii-"

 

*SMACK!*

 

>Fill my heart up with sunshine sunshine~ all I really needs a smile smile smile!

 

"It's out of tuuuuune-"

 

*SMACK!*

 

>Smile... SMILE.... SMIIIIIIILE! Come on and smile!

 

"I caaaaan't-"

 

*BLAM!*

 

>.... Huh. Didn't know Fluttershy was made of fairy dust.

 

[Pinkie old girl, you did it!]

 

{You saw through my double!}

 

[Good job!]

 

>...

[...]

{...}

 

>Yaaaay!

 

[Give me the gun.]

 

>Try and take it.

 

[...I'm good.]

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

>AJ56

“DT”

‘SS’

-???-

______

 

>P-please! Please stop, it hurts! I can’t take it anymore!

 

“THEN SAY IT!”

 

>N-NO!

 

“Suit yourself. Spoon, do it.”

 

With a nod, Spoons only leaned her front half lower to the floor, hiking her rump up further. It was covered in a few ooey-gooey strands of chocolate sauce, and when Spoons gave the bottle held in her tail a squeeze, more trickled out and she shivered, cooing audibly as it dribbled down her coat.

 

The effect was instantaneous and 56 howled out, unable to move from the chair he was currently bound to but stretched his neck as far as it would go, even sticking out his tongue, but even then Silver Spoon’s rear remained just out of his reach.

 

>Nohohohohooooo, come on! Just… dang it… one lick, that’s all I want! JUST ONE!

 

“And I’m pretty sure Spoons would just love that. Her butt’s all sticky with that chocolate, she needs a good cleaning, yes she does!”

 

Spoons nodded silently, giving her backside a teasing wiggle that only caused 56 to increase his futile struggling.

 

“You want that? Then say it! Say my flank’s the best you’ve ever seen!”

 

>Nnnn-never!

 

‘Oh come on, 56. Just say it, will ya? This chocolate sauce is really getting deep in my plot here, I could really use some heeeelp.’

 

>AAAAAARGH!

 

The door to Tiara’s room suddenly opened and a lone stallion entered, pausing abruptly as he surveyed the scene.

 

>Mr. Rich guy! Mr. Rich guy, please, save me!

 

-Hmmm… sweetheart, what’re you doing with that Changeling boy tied up in your room and Silver Spoon’s rear-end covered in chocolate sauce?-

 

“Just completely dominating the enemy, daddy! And it feels great!”

 

>HELP MEEEHEHEHE!

 

-Ah, well, carry on, sweetheart. There are brownies downstairs for everyone when you’re through.-

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

>SA

"Chrysalis"

'Celestia'

~~~~~

 

>This isn't childish at all.

 

"SHE IS IN MY SPOT!"

 

>It's MY hot tub!

 

'And screw you, this hot tub is AMAZING.'

 

"Get your own!"

 

'I tried, Applejack won't let me. She tub-blocks me every time I try to put one in.'

 

"Well, you can't have that spot! That's my spot! CRISSY SPOT!"

 

>Come on, we really going to do this instead of just enjoying the oh so amazing hot tub? Cause she was right, it is amazing.

 

'AMAZING.'

 

"I can't enjoy it if she's in my spot!"

 

'...So, you think this is your spot?'

 

"It is!"

 

'This is the spot you want.'

 

"That one!"

 

'Out of all the spots you could have, you pick this one, and ONLY this one.'

 

"Yes!"

 

'You sure?'

 

"YES!"

 

>Really, Chrysalis, you can sit ANYWHERE else.

 

"I WANT THAT SPOT!"

 

'Oh, alright. If you're SURE this is the spot you want.'

 

"I'm sure!"

 

'Okay...'

 

The white alicorn stood up, moved from the spot, and sat right back down.

 

On Shining Armor's lap.

 

"...Oh, you BITCH!"

 

'What? You have your spot.'

 

>Seriously, will nothing please her?

 

'Never satisfied.'

 

"You never said that was a spot I could use!"

 

>I said anywhere.

 

"....Well... I mean... I didn't realize you meant ANYWHERE!"

 

>Your fault, not ours.

 

"Well, I want that spot instead! You can have your old spot back!"

 

'Well, now I just can't trust you. If I move again, you'll just make another demand, I'm sure.'

 

"I won't!"

 

>Wish we could trust you.

 

'But we have to stay firm. Firmly riiiiight... here.'

 

>We will not bow down to invading Queens!

 

'Never!'

 

"....ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHhhhhh....!"

 

'Oh dear, there she goes.'

 

>She is probably going to eat my paperwork for this.

 

'Sacrifices must be made for a strong political face.'

 

>...You don't have to keep sitting there, she's gone now.

 

'I know, but I'm hoping 18 walks comes in next.'

 

>You are a cruel, cruel mare, Celestia.

 

'Oh, hush and enjoy my ass on your lap.'

 

>...Actually, you're kind of cutting off my circulation.

 

'Like I said, Shiny... sacrifices must be made.'

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>Bon bon

"Lyra"

'AJ56'

 

"Chu chu churu chu chu chuchuru~"

 

>No Lyra.

 

"But I like the song."

 

>Everypony's had enough of the song at the gala. We don't need to be reminded.

 

"We sure got cozy with everyone."

 

>Yes, I definitely enjoyed someone's ass in my face.

 

"Oh don't be such a sour patch kid."

 

>Meanwhile you were drunk off your-

 

"PLOT! Not bad. Not bad at all.

56 rubs his cheek on Bon Bon's butt

"Mmm smells really sweet too."

 

Bon bon back kicks 56 in the face knocking him flat on the ground.

>What the hell do you think you're doing you little pervert?!

 

'Ow...I was appreciating your plot.'

 

>I don't know what fantasy world you live in, but this is reality. No mare's going to let you walk up to their flank and let you hug it!

 

'...but-'

 

"Geez Bon bon. Relax. I think it's just a kid. We should get to the store already."

The couple walk away.

 

'I was...denied plot? I...what? I mean....what!?'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

>Dadling

"Bat-mom"

~~~

 

>Wow! This is awesome!

 

"It's called a shower."

 

>I know THAT, I'm not completely clueless, I mean this lumpy fuzzy thing.

 

"Loofah."

 

>It's amazing!

 

"I'm glad you like it, but don't get too attached, I'm burning it afterwards."

 

>But why!?

 

"What color is it?"

 

>Uh, Brownish black?

 

"What color was it when you started?"

 

>...Ah.

 

"How did you guys live before you arrived here?"

 

>Like Changelings? You know, replacing ponies, sapping love, all that good stuff.

 

"... Good stuff?"

 

>...We, um...

 

The pitter patter of the shower was all that filled the silence.

 

>D-don't....

 

"Hm?"

 

>Don't let them grow up like that. Her, or him, whatever. It's... it's bad. I wouldn't wish that on anybody. Just promise me they won't have to live like that, okay?

 

The waters parted over him as she stepped inside, embracing him in the still flowing water.

 

"I promise."

 

>G-good... good...

 

"..."

 

>...I used up all your shampoo.

 

"You don't have any hair."

 

>I know, I just like the bubbles.

 

She couldn't help but snort out a giggle.

 

"I like them too... well, since we're going off each others' word here, promise me you'll stick with me? No matter how crazy it gets."

 

>...Promise.

 

"It's a deal."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

>SA

"Chrysalis"

~~~~

 

>And, drum roll please....

 

"...TA-DAAAAA!"

 

>AHHHHHHHHHH! HOLY SHITAHHHHHHHH!

 

"Cool huh?"

 

>YOUR FUCKING SKIN IS TRANSPARENT!

 

"Yep! This was to ward off predators by making them think we were rotted and dead... didn't... didn't work, actually. In hindsight, it just made it easier for them to know where to bite."

 

>O-oh... Hoooo... okay, heart is going again... actually? You know what? This could be really useful!

 

"Really?"

 

>Yeah! Think of the applications, doctors being able to see EXACTLY where an internal injury is without x-rays or surgery, being able to see how internal organs react to certain foods or drugs, being able to study a body IN MOTION without harming the pony in question. This could be HUGE!

 

"Really?"

 

>Yeah! Can you teach me how to do that spell?

 

"...what spell?"

 

>...The... the clear-skin spell, the thing you are doing that makes me want to never eat again. That spell.

 

"OH! Uh, that's not a spell."

 

>...What?

 

"Yeah, I just shifted most of my skin layering to my hooftips. See? That's why they're so dark and heavy looking."

 

>Doesn't... doesn't that mean you're mostly out of skin?

 

"Oh yeah, it's SUPER thin right now. You could probably puncture me with a paper airplane like it was a bullet."

 

>Huh.

 

"...Soooo... you ever wanted to see a real life internal c-"

 

>If you want me to get a boner ever again, at ANY point in my life, EVER, you will not only stop that sentence dead in it's tracks, you will change back, and never speak of it again. Your body is freaking me right the fuck out right now.

 

"Done and done!"

 

>...Well?

 

"It takes about an hour."

 

>So, for the next hour, you're completely vulnerable.

 

"...Would you believe Trasulesta's colony was wiped out by a cactus patch? True story."

 

>The saddest part of my life is realizing how little I can bring myself to argue this.

 

"...Turns out the Chimera wasn't even all that interested."

 

>Stop.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

>32

"Pommel"

'Flim'

[Flam]

-???-

 

>Ok, ok, let me try and compose myself here.

 

"C'mon, mess up mess up mess up-ow!"

 

>Knock that off!

 

[He won't be able to do it brother!]

 

'Pish posh, he'll certainly do it better than the guard!'

 

[Ha, I think not, you'll be eating crow before the day is out!]

 

'I'll be eating alright, half of YOUR lunch! HaHA!'

 

>If you two don't shut up, how will I even try it?

 

'[Point.]'

 

"Okay...ready...go!"

 

>I am the very model of a modern major general, I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral, ablehnlehbleh-blast it!

 

"Ha! Told you it's too fast to just rattle off!"

 

>I concede, the pressure must have gotten to me.

 

[Aha, brother, that's half your food you owe me!]

 

'Rats!'

 

>My apologies...er...whichever one of you was backing me, you sound very similar and the wall makes it impossible to see you.

 

"The one who backed you is named Flim, his brother is Flam."

 

>Well my apologies all the same.

 

'Bah, it was worth it. Anything for a bit of excitement these days, this guard wasn't half as conversational as he was before you showed up.'

 

[Of course we only started having a guard after they remembered we were left down here with that infernal party pony with only birthday cake to eat!]

 

'A travesty of justice!'

 

[And we had to share it with the hippos!]

 

32 looks at Pommel through the bars.

 

>Do I even want to know?

 

-All you need to know is that after what they had a hoof in, they're lucky to be breathing.-

 

As one the three ponies fell silent, Pommel backed away from the bars, dropping his friendly demeanor in favor of terrified subservience as 77 walked into view, looking less than pleased with the goings on.

 

-Private Pommel, you are dismissed for the time being. Prisoners Flim and Flam, I intend for you to remain quiet for the duration of my conversation with Changeling 32. We have...much to discuss.-

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

>Spike

“77”

‘42’

[DT]

{Twi}

-PJ-

~~~~

>So… Sorry, we don’t exactly have any fresh matchups we can offer you. If you’d like, I’d be happy to go against you-

 

PJ just stops him with a raised hoof a smile, and finally, swallows the last of her potato

 

-It’s alright, really. I can always wait my turn for later.-

 

“Such sportsmanship.”

 

>I still feel kind of bad, first I stiff you and the others at the Gala and now this.

 

‘I bet a lot of those girls wish he had stiffed them’

 

Diamond Tiara just turns beet red and buries her face in her hooves

 

>Whatwasthat?!

 

HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER!

 

{Not to worry, Spike! You won’t have to stiff any mare today!}

 

>[”’Twilight!?’”]

 

{That’s right, since Diamond tiara can make demands, I figured I’d like to make a wager as well…}

 

“Which is…?”

 

{I beat Potatojack in a match, and I am recognized as a full fledged member of the gun club. I lose, and I’ll teach all of you how to captain the Highwind properly and will stay behind on missions.}

 

[“‘DEAL!’”]

 

‘Right, kick her ass, PJ!’

 

[Show’em what you bug monsters are made of! Whatever you’re made of.]

 

>Ummm.. Guys, Twilight’s an extremely powerful princess of magic, is this really fair?

 

{I know just what you mean, which is why we will be battling in the simulator, where I’ll simply restrict myself to as I was back when I was just a unicorn. And it will let me give a chance to test out my newest invention!}

 

Twilight threw off her cloak revealing a girdle around her made from metal with four folded limbs that ended in razor sharp blades.

 

{I was inspired a bit by stories of the Spider-Changeling hive and PJ’s own 3DMG. With these I can leap a hundred times my own body height, safely land from twice that, scale walls, attack and defend from multiple angles, it slices, it dices, and it makes hay fries!}

 

As Twilight says all this, she makes sure to demonstrate it too

 

{So, what do you say, PotatoJack? Ready to put your boxes of scrap to the test against a design by one of Equestria’s greatest minds?}

 

PotatoJack just stood there silent for a moment, munching her snack, and finally she swallowed and to everyone’s shock, dropped the rest of the steamed potato and stamped on it

 

-You’re on, Princess.-

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

>Chrysalis

"Cadence"

~~~~

 

>And just what kind of bullshit is this?

 

"Something wrong?"

 

>Yes, something is wrong, you are sitting at the desk. Why the hell are you sitting in Shiny's seat?

 

"Oh! Uh, Shiny's out helping Celestia with something, so..."

 

>He asked YOU to do his paperwork. You.

 

"Well, no. He didn't ask. I just decided to try my hoof at it."

 

>...

 

"Don't look at me like that. I'll have you know I was being trained for this since the moment I got my wings!... I didn't, well, pay attention to most of it, but I was trained for this!"

 

>...That is a big pile, are you going to do all of that?

 

"Ah, no. That's the... that's the skip pile. If I come across a bill I don't understand, it goes into the skip pile."

 

>Is there a non-skip pile?

 

"Well, non-skip PAPER, technically. I approved the expansion on the university for a dance studio. That seemed important."

 

>... Okay, fine whatever. I need to get to work anyway.

 

"What?... OH! The uh, the thing you do. Yeah. You sure need to get to that?"

 

>I'm running behind as it is.

 

"Oh. Could you... could you aim for that pile, mostly? I'm not going to get it done anyway, and at least this way I don't have to make up an explanation why."

 

>Ehhhh, sure. Little outside my parameters, but for you? I guess I can re-aim my attacks.

 

"Thanks! I appreciate it!"

 

>If you really want to show me how much you appreciate it, hop up with me and help me wreck this shit, with SEXINESS!

 

"..."

 

>...Look, just because my normal patron has been temporarily replaced, does not mean I am willing to change up my game. This is how I have done things since the start, and it works. If you have a problem with that, file an issue with my HR.

 

"You mean 'go complain ineffectually to 42'?"

 

>That.

 

"Well, if this is how you do your work."

 

>It is, and now that the prw-requisite offer for insanely good sex is out of the way... A-hem... Messing up Caddy's paaaaapers!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

>Applejack

“Twilight”

‘Chrysalis’

-???-

_______

 

It took Applejack a full five minutes for the petrification to wear off of her coat before she was able to move again, and then only slightly as she slowly stepped out of the bathroom.

 

>W-what… in tarnation… is this…?

 

The door to her room suddenly blew open and Twilight stormed in, her mane all over the place and crystallized.

 

“Applejack! Something very weird is going on around-GASP, you too?”

 

>Ah dunno what happened! Ah went to take a shower and it was like mah fur jus’ seized up or somethin’!

 

“Same here, I only just managed to get my mane to quit trying to choke me out by temporarily freezing it! I swear, this all seems eerily familiar….”

 

It was then that a twin pair of voices burst out in riotous cackles and from the cathedral-high ceiling dropped two figures, one of them chuckling behind a hoof while the other had their head thrown back to the breaking point in a maniacal laugh.

 

The stunned mares ignored Chrysalis and instead focused on the one beside her. That grayish-blue coat… that mane of wriggling, green tendrils….

 

>Ah don’t believe it….

 

“You!”

 

-MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes, my little morsels, it is I! The luxurious Mane-iac! GAHAHAHAHA!-

 

>…did she always laugh like that?

 

“I know, right? Like a cheese grater to the ears.

 

‘Would you get a load of their faces, Mani? Freakin’ priceless!’

 

-Tchahaha, it’s what I do best, my dear!-

 

“Wait, wait, wait, hold up! This doesn’t make any logical sense! You… you’re a fictional character from a comic book series! You’re not even real!”

 

-Oh, aren’t I? Hmhmhm! You thought I’d simply allow you and your little Power Pony friends to escape and leave me behind in that dreadful world? HAHAHAHAHAno. I may be insane, but I’m not stupid, Matter-Horn.-

 

“…No. No, see, my name is Twili-”

 

But ‘Mani’ was already glancing about, her mane twitching with excitement.

 

-When I managed to escape those bumbling fools of mine and leap into the splendors of this world, I met Chrysalis here and-BWAHAHAHAHAHA!-

 

>…

“…”

‘…’

 

-Ahem, sorry. That infernal laugh is a side effect of my capture in that comic. Anyway, I’ve been gallivanting about with buggy here for the past year and she tells me that you’re in the habit of-MWAHAHAHAHAHA!-agh… damn that’s annoying.-

 

It was a nod to her will when Applejack managed to keep her face straight whenever the Mane-iac burst out in those uncontrollable fits of laughter.

 

-Bottom line, you change ponies, yes? I saw how you changed Discord and then Chrysalis--

 

‘Changed me? Puh-lease! I’m too sexy to be an evil bitch, thank you. I prefer queen bitch.’

 

-Whatever, buggy. So can I stay here under that rehabilitation process?-

 

Twilight was instantly shaking her head.

 

“You’re insane! Really! I mean, Discord’s loopy but you’re downright mental! You come to us asking for help less than five minutes after petrifying Applejack and causing my mane to strangle me!”

 

-See, that’s what I need help with, these random urges to destroy you Power Ponies and take over the world! Because I will, oh yes, one day I will and you all will know the true might of the one, the only, Mane-iac! HAHAHAHAHA!-

 

She thudded herself on the chest.

 

-I assure you everything after ‘these random urges’ was unintended, Matter-Horn.-

 

“NO.”

 

‘Oh get off your doughy plot and do some friendship work, Sparkles. Isn’t that what you’re training is about, expressing to others the magic of friendship? Second chances and all that lovey-dovey bull?’

 

“W-well… I guess so. And my rear-end is not doughy!”

 

-MWAHAHAHAHA-stop it, Mani, stop it…-

 

>Land sakes if this ain’t another headache in the makin’… but the beetle does have a point, Twi’. We’re establishin’ a new world order here. Heck, even Spike saved that idjit Blueblood, didn’t he?

 

“…fine. Fine! Celestia help me…”

 

>Celestia help us all…

 

-Goody! I just know we’ll all be good friends! And when I finally regain my powers and petrify you along with that clod Humdrum, you’ll make even better statues, KYAHAHAHA!... sorry.-

 

>…

“…”

 

‘I swear, life here is just so excellent.’

 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

>Rarity

"Applejack"

[Spike]

~~~~

 

>Are you SURE?

 

"For the millionth time, yes."

 

>Applejack, it's not like I don't trust him to know his limits, but...

 

"He'll be fine."

 

>Both of us? At the same time? Darling, really, he could barely handle ME.

 

"He's confident he can manage it."

 

>I just don't want to crush his spirits, you know?

 

"Rar', ain't nothing about this going to crush any part o' him, Ah' sure."

 

>I just think it'll be too much, dragon stamina only goes so far. He'll be finished before it can really start.

 

"Ah' don't know, he does have one advantage."

 

>Oh?

 

"Those claws o' his do work really, really well for this."

 

>Oh... I hadn't considered that.

 

"...Used his tail once too."

 

>He did not!

 

"Swear it on Applebloom's life."

 

>...Well, okay, but maybe we should go easy on him?

 

"Sug', you an' Ah' both know when you get goin' ya' can't go easy. Ya' get riled up too fast."

 

>It's easy to lose myself during, I admit that. But so do you!

 

"Ah' never planned on goin' easy on him, Ah'm gonna drive him right inta' the ground."

 

>Oh my! Well, alright, let's do this. Together?

 

"Together."

 

~~~~~~~

 

>THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!

 

"How!? How are ya'll doin' this!?"

 

>His claws! They're moving like tiny little blurs!

 

"Ah' can't even pay attention ta' that!"

 

>Wow, I suppose it would be hard to focus on ANYTHING with the way he's hammering you.

 

"THIS AIN'T NATURAL!"

 

[You kidding? Pure. Dragon. Power.]

 

"HOW AM AH' SO CLOSE TA' THE EDGE ALREADY!"

 

>I'm coming!

 

"Rar' no! Wait! We're gonna-"

 

*PLAYER 1, YOU WIN!*

 

>...

"..."

 

[WOOOOOOO! IN! YOUR! FAAAAACE!]

 

"Ah' can't believe it."

 

>If my Super Smash Pony club hears about this, I'll never live it down.

 

"Ah' thought Ah' was good, but he just straight up ended us."

 

>We didn't stand a chance.

 

"Not a single solid hit."

 

[GO SPIIIIKE! IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY! GO SPIIIKE! YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME!]

 

>...Wow.

 

"Yeah, Ah' was gonna give him a kiss fer' winnin', but Ah' ain't encouragin' that kind o' sportmanship."

 

>It's just rude, that's what it is.

 

"Let's get outta here. He can play single player for a bit."

 

>Hrpmh!

 

[YEAH I-... Wait, what!? Wait! Hold on! Come back, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! Rar? Jackie?...Please? Come back! COME BAAACK!... DAMN IT!]

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