Title: Oh God Why Would You Read This 2 Author: PonyKeg Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/AJtPjkvV First Edit: Friday 19th of April 2013 07:00:34 AM CDT Last Edit: Friday 19th of April 2013 07:00:34 AM CDT >Day "Pony II: The Hoofening" in Equestria "Rise and shine drunkie" >The bundle of blanket and pony on your couch stirs a bit "C'mon Bonbon get up, Its almost noon" you say as you give the huddled form a poke >"NNNYYYYUUUUUUUUUU!!! SLEEP!" the pony shaped pile says as it wiggles back and forth. >You sigh and decide to give Bonbon a few more minutes as you continue to get ready for the day. >After a shower you head to the kitchen to make breakfast, last nights mess lurks in the sink but you can always take care of them sometime that's not.. you know... right now... >Setting a few eggs and hash browns to fry you hear Bonbon clop into the kitchen. >She looks slightly better than crap. >Half awake with her normal curly main all askew she recoils at the morning light as she slumps into a chair >"Eeeeehhh... Bright!" She says burying her face in her forelegs. >"Why'd you let me drink so much?" she mumbles into her legs "If I recall correctly I tried to stop you but... what were your exact words.. oh yeah 'Big Dumb Monkey'" you say with a mischievous grin. >"Hmph...dumb monkey" she mumbles again "A dumb monkey who made his pissy pony breakfast, now eat up." you say as you place her plate and a large glass of water in front of her. >You eat breakfast in relative silence. Bonbon starts looking a bit more perky now that shes awake and fed. "So what are your plans for the day." you say as you gather the dishes and add them to the stack that's quickly becoming a pile. >"Gonna head back home and clean myself up, after that I have to run my stand for the day." she winces slightly and rubs her head. >"And do something about this hangover, honestly how do you manage to drink so much and be so annoyingly chipper the next day?" "Human secret." you say >"Pfftt.. more like a bigger body" "Hey eyes up here Missy" you say gesturing to your face.     >She tries to rolls her eyes at your comment but the slight blush across her face makes it somewhat less convincing. >Heading towards your bathroom she calls over her shoulder, "I'm just going to fix myself up real quick then head home AnonnnnAAAAHHHHHH MY MANE IS HORRIFIC!" she screams, no doubt catching the sight of herself in the mirror. "Well look at it this way," you yell "At least it will be easier for Bonbon the Destroyer to strike fear into the hearts of her enemies!" >"HAR HAR HAR!" she says sarcastically before emerging a few moments later, her mane more or less under control. >"Insolent cur that you are, I had fun last night. Thanks for having me over." "Like I said Bonnie, anytime." >She smiles a bit before asking "Can we hang out later this week?" "Sure sounds good, movie again? Or something else, I still have those sticks..." >This illicits a small smirk from the mare, "I was thinking dinner, maybe go out with me? I mean.. out to dinner.. with me. Not like 'out with me' out with me, because that woul.." She doesn't catch your eye roll before you cut her off, "That sounds like fun, hows Friday?" >"Great!" she says with a little bounce before blushing again. "Well I'll see you later then Anon." She says as she heads out the door. "Laters" >You spend the rest of the day cleaning up around your house, putting off the pile dishes in the kitchen til the very end. Despite all your practice in the field of procrastination, you have yet to gain the ability to will the dishes from existence. >You begin you work with little to distract you than your thoughts... Dumb dishes Heh, you sound like Bonbon now. You know what, that mares alright, still cant hold her booze though Drank her ass under the table I am the booze king! HAIL ME! your internal monologue proclaims as you pump your fists in the air, dripping water on your head. Dumbass... hmmmm...Friday     >The rest of the week passes with little incident til Thursday as your manning your post at the local hardware store Bonbon comes trotting up to you with a small white bundle on her back. >"Hi Anon, she says cheerfully." "Hey Bonnie, whats got you in here today?" >"You!" she says, "I brought lunch!" "Bonbon that's really sweet of you but my lunch wont be for awhile stil.." >You're cut off by one of the stallions you work with "Ah don't worry about it Anon, it's dead anyways and we'll cover for you" he says with a shit eating grin on his face. >Oh those bastards are gonna be teasing you about this for the rest of the week. >"There you go Anon, lets go eat!" says Bonbon as she leads you out of the store into the nearby park. >Its a beautiful day, the suns out, birds are chirping, ponies are going about their days. >Bonbon is trotting happily in front of you, the white bundle on her back bouncing up and down slightly, her tail bounces along as well. >You find its motions to be strangely captivating as your eyes follow it along to its base before you realize you've been staring at Bonbons flank. >Now that you think about it Bonbons has a real nice... >Bonbon comes to a halt by a picnic bench and asks "This look good Anon?" "Yeah looks...nice..." you trail off, you're still staring you idiot. >"Hm?" says the mare? "Yeah. Spot. Good. Lunch. Eat" you say quickly.     >If she notices your odd behavior she doesn't say anything as she sets up lunch, a simple meal of a daisy sandwich for her and leafy green one for you. >Not your favorite but hey free food and cute company. >Bonbon and you make small talk as you eat, catching up on each others week. "So Bonnie," you ask "Where are we going to dinner?" >"The Silver Platter, on the opposite side of town" >Silver Platter huh, not a super fancy place but you don't think your normal shirt and jeans would be the best idea there. Then again your surrounded by technicolor nudists most of the time so what do you care. >"...and I have a nice dress picked out and everything" Bonbon finishes, your own internal dialog overlapping her conversation she was... >wait.. >DRESS? >Ah crap... now you gotta get dolled up too, something semi formal at least! >and that means you're going to have to get your suit fixed >and if you need clothes fixed in Ponyville that means you need one pony >one specific pony >"Anon are you okay? Why are you sweating?"   Time to pay Rarity a visit.   Today started out so well.