Of pone and Poni CYOA

Chapter 0:

 

Hello there Anons!  A new CYOA has entered the realm of /mlp and is currently looking for for players. In these thread, a being of your choice will go through an incredible adventure in the magical realm of equestrian. What kind of adventure? That’s what will be chose in this first thread! The decisions will be taken after a democratic good old voting time (in case of tie between two propositions, I will choose one in a totally random yet biased way). And here is the first choice you’ll have to make:

Choose Naration :

>Writing narration

The outcome of the choices will be chosen only by me, which means that that the success or failing of an action will depend only of my arbitrary self. Take note that with this narration, I will make an effort not to get characters killed easily, they will more often be jailed or incapacitated or something like that instead.

>D&D narration

The outcome of the choices will be chosen by dice rolls and pre-existing figures, which means that the success or failing of an action will depend of these figures and luck. Take not that character will die if the figure labelled “HP” hit a certain negative amount. I’ll keep a trace of the figures but I’ll only display the dice rolls and difficulty of throws.

In both cases, there won’t be “good” or “bad” choice: the goal is to create something you wanted to happen.

The narration D&D like has been chosen but now is the time to select the goal of you adventure:

[spoiler] *weep manly tear after earning the “someone actually replied” achievement[/spoiler]

>The lovely quest of a hoping heart

The adventure will focus on the main character experiencing different friendly and romantic interactions with other characters.

>The daily quest to save to save the world

Equestria is under attack once again and Celestia couldn’t stop it (again) Guess who will have to take the job?

>The nightly quest to the take over the world

“What I say is that the current government has proven itself incapable of protecting its citizens, we should thus find a new sovereign and I just happen to be a brilliant megalomaniac myself. So? Who’s with me?”

>The mighty quest for epic loot

Equestria was a world full of mysterious magic and undiscovered civilizations. Until you showed up at least.

>The mystic quest of self-enlightenment

What is this quest? That’s for you to find out. It will imply unexpected and meta events happening to the character, which won’t be able to understand what’s going on, at the beginning at least.

 

You have your quest, rightful player, but before starting the creation of a character, here are some world settings you’ll have to choose

Votes for each parameter will be counted separately:

Enable/disable Grimdark(disabled)

If enabled, dark magic such as necromancy or mind control spells exists in Equestria along with drug dealers and mobs in big cities. Don’t even think about going in hell or try summoning some dark octopus gods.

Enable/disable Genitalia(enabled)

If enabled, ponies have genitalia and can have sex. The vision of sex and culture around it is similar to the one in today’s America. Crotchtits are canon. If disabled, giving birth to a child just kind of “happen” when two lovers want to start a family. You cannot question this truth.

Enable/disable Time travel mayhem(enabled)

If enabled, time travel is a thing, and will have a role in the adventure for the best and the worst. If disabled, the time Twilight used time travel magic is no longer canon.

>Time of the adventure : post S1/post S2/post S3(S3)

The event of upcoming seasons will NOT take place in the adventure

 

The world is now ready, but what about You?

Select character

>Existing character from MLP

>OC

>Anon(chosen)

>Anon is from /mlp/ and has also connection with /k and /d but hates /v and /b

he has the following skills :

Equestria historian : extensive knowledge about anything that appeaered in the show

Social stoïcism : Immune to leadership / Intimidation skills

Drama king : Bonus on performance/bluff roll when using sadness/happiness/anger (faking it or not)

Smithing : With the right materials, Anoncan craft basic metal or wooden weapons

Xenosexology : Anon can make accurate guesses about the sexual customs or preferences of any living being he encounter

 

Anon has the following weaknesses :

troll sensitive : You're easier to taunt, and might become violent if someone is acting too stupidly in your presence

Vidya caveman : You haven't played any game post 2000, you viscerally hate today's gamer and have trouble operating the latest technologic systems

 

Anon is under the god of dubs's protection, he might gtant him some of his powers if the figures demand so

 

Chapter 1:

 

>You can’t remember a time you felt this horrible before

>This might be because you can’t think of anything that happened to you before now

>Your head is in a mess, you can’t concentrate on anything right now as you fall once again in a deep slumber

>You awaken once more

>The storm in your brain has been replaced with a stunning calm

>You feel a lot better, but you still can’t remember how you got here or anything about the recent events.

>You feel warm and cozy. It appears you are on some sort of sofa and it’s quite comfortable

>You can hear the birds and the wind outside.

>As you open your eyes you realize two things.

>The first thing you realize is that you know where you are, but you didn’t think it was even possible for you to be here

>Fluttershy’s cottage

>You know this place. Better that your own room (given the fact that you can’t remember anything about your room right now)

>The second thing to catch your attention is that the birds you were hearing weren’t outside at all, and a little one seems to be staring at you right now.

>It doesn’t look like it realised you were awake though

What now?

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: suit

>maybe somebody is around

“Anybody there?”  

>No answer

>It’s even more silent as you seem to have scared the birds nearby.

>you decide to take a look at the kitchen

•     Nobody in there either

•     You find various types of grains and fruits and also bread.

>There are all the cooking utensils someone may need to cook and a stove

>there is another door leading outside in the kitchen

What now?

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: suit

>You decide to take some food with you

>you acquire 3 apples, 2 bananas and a bread loaf you start eating right away

>you also decide it’s time to let this world kwon how sweet your moves are

>You try to mimic the most famous walk from the most famous dancer in the universe

>But you don’t manage to make the magic happen, you just look like you’re walking backwards in rhythm

>As you come out of the cottage, you spot two ponies staring at you

>Fluttershy and Twilight

•     It seems the fail to understand the point of your current actions

 

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: suit, apples(3),banana(2),Half eaten bread loaf

>You easily keep composure in front of the two ponies even if a normal person would have felt very awkward in such a situation

>You start approaching them as you are now trying to remember the moves from” beat it”

>They take a step back when you are within arm reach from them. Twilight start to talk.

>”Hum, Hello? Who might you…

Heeyyyyy girls! Just sprucin’ up the place with my sweet, sweet moves. How about you eat some of my delicious bananas?”  >You say as you present the two bananas to them

>They take it

>Awkwardness intensifies

>For them

>”Will you please ans…

Ow! Yeah, do you have any idea how I ended up here maybe

>That’s what I was going to ask you!. Fluttershy told me she found you unconscious just behind her hatchery.”Twilight said in a slightly upset voice.

>Behind the hatchery, so that’s where you come from…

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: suit, apples(3),Half eaten bread loaf

>After hearing this answer, you look at the sky dramatically

>them at them again

“Do you have any idea why I have amnesia? Or why I would be unconscious behind your chicken hatchery? Who am I? What am I going to do? What does it all mean?”

•     For each question you ask them, you take a different pose to increase the dramatic impact of your words

>They look at each other

>It seems that they start to think you have some issues to explain your strange behaviour

>Issues different from being retarded I mean

>”Hum, you know, I don’t have any answer to give for now but maybe if you let us help you we might be able to help you” she says with a smile

>”Maybe I can help too…” mutters Fluttershy while looking on the ground

>”How about giving us your name? I’m twilight. And this is Fluttershy”

“Feels like I’m in some balls-breaking mystical quest for self-discovery shit…” you mutter to yourself

>”you can call me Anon”

>Then, inspired by the gods of lyricism and love, your deploy our most astonishing voice and start producing verbal nectar.

“Twilight! The mighty element of magic! I am honored that you extend your hoof to offer me assistance.”

>She is clearly blushing

>”Um , thanks, but.. How can you know me if you have amnesia ?

Twilight, you are an unsinkable light that can handle the most obscured spirit! No trauma could ever erase you from my mind.

>He… well… That very nice from you, hehe…“

Her face is now completely red as she start curling her mane around her hoof

>One down, now …

“Fluttershy! The timid element of Kindness, whose heart is as malleable as pudding! I am soothed by your mere visage.

>Well I’m not that …

You don’t have to be modest, who else would have taken care of a complete stranger, not even a pony? I am the luckiest person of this world for having had you taking care of me.”

>Her face and mane are now the same colour and she stares at you with stars in her eyes

>After a quick thank to the gets god you decide it’s time to tackle this memory issue

“So, you said you could help me?”

>they both answer “Off course!

Follow us to the library, I’m sure we can find some spell to help you” says Twilight

>Look like it won’t be such a shitty mystical drag after all

 

>The three of you are now heading to the library

>You start whistling a certain Pinkie-related song

>And you’re freaking good at it! They both start to slightly shake their heads, following the rhythm of the song

>”Hey! You’re a lot better at whistling that dancing  Anon! ”says Twilight

>”Hum... This song is from Pinkie, right?” says Fluttershy

>”Yep! This song is from me ! But you can sing it all you want, Anon ! says Pinkie

>Wait, Pinkie ? Where does she even come from ! And how does she know your name ?

>”Silly Anon! You can’t expect  to perform my tunes without having me showing up, can you ?

>What ? did you just said that out loud?

>”Nope, you didn’t !Teehehe !

>What are you talking abou,t Pinkie !” says Twilight

>Whaaaaat??

 

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: suit, apples (3), half eaten bread loaf

 

Chapter 2

 

>Our hero Anon has just arrived in Equestria and has awakened in Fluttershy’s cottage. After a little check of the place and of his conditions it appears that aside from the fact he has complete amnesia about the recent events that brought him here, he’s alright. He then moonwalked outside and thus met Twilight and Fluttershy. Helped by the power of the gets god, he managed to get the two ponies to help him. As they were heading to the library to find some useful informations, Pinkie Pie showed up and it appears she could read Anon’s mind!? Is this a random Pinkie feat or is this something different? The two other ponies are just as confused as Anon. But now is the time for our hero to decide his next move.

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: suit, apples (3), half eaten bread loaf

 

 

>You decide it’s better to sort this mind issue later

Don’t worry about it girls, I think she’s just being silly

Let’s just go to the library already

>”Well, ok if you say so…”

>As you continue walking with a new bouncing companion you wonder if Celestia may spare some time to hear your story

Between two Pinkie jokes you tell Twilight about your idea of meeting the princess

“I’m not sure... Canterlot is pretty far away, you now? Besides, you’d have to make an appointment”

You thought so…

After a little more chit-chat and random balloons you arrive in front of the library

“Well gotta go! Says Pinkie Pie, see you soon everyone! As she disappears in a pink flash.

This was way too fast to even know where she went.

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: suit, apples (3), half eaten bread loaf

 

*perception roll: 12

*diplomacy roll: 3

 

>Well, it doesn’t seems she’d have been of any help anyway.

“Let’s start the search” you say.

>the three of you are now searching through the fair amount of books this library has.

>Unfortunately can’t find something that can help you is this situation

•     Most of the books are either completely unrelated to the subjects, like this one which provided an extended set of rules to decide who among two ponies would be declared the funniest

>You have high doubts this item has ever been used and will ever be

>The other ones treat of herbology and magic stuff.

>One also explain how to brew some various kinds of strange potions

“Hey, I really think Celestia could help me! Would you mind sending her a letter about my case so I can meet her please?

>How about you tell us a little more about you, we still don’t know who exactly you are and what brings you here? Says Twilight

>It’s true. We can’t let you meet Celestia if we barely know who you are, adds Fluttershy

>You don’t remember who you are, but you seem to know about me and my friends, how do you explain that?

>Could it be you know Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow dash too?” Ask Twilight.

>Well, you do remember you watched them as a cartoon show, but is it ok to say that ?

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: suit, apples (3), half eaten bread loaf

 

>You start eating the rest of the bread as you ponder on what to say

>You’re not sure a self-awareness induced wormhole is actually a thing, but you don’t want to test this theory

Well… I… have no idea actually… I just know the things that are in my brain

You know: Equestria, the elements of harmony, Celestia, Luna, the Cristal Empire, best pone and all these things…

But I have how idea how the bloody they got there though.

>they seem to buy it.

>”The thing is, Anon, we know so little about you, we can’t even figure out where you came from or why?

>The only things we have is the fast that you know us and that you like to dance and whistle but It’s not helping us.”

>As she starts to ponder, Fluttershy slowly came closer to you

>She start whispering in your ear:

>“Umm…Anon?

Yes?

>What is best pone ?

>You fake a cough

Cough Ahem Cough Cough* I intended to say “rest of pone” and pone is the abbreviation of pony. And it’s Ponka by the way. But some people would say there can’t be single a single one ‘cuz they’re all equally awesome.

>She looks confused

>” Well, maybe we could visit Canterlot and go to the castle’s library. They have a lot more references than I have.

>I’m going to send a letter to Celestia to inform here so maybe we can even have a word with her!”

>Heeeyyyy! Hold on there! This was your idea!

“Well Twilght, If you’re going to tell her about me, I think I’ll use this opportunity to introduce myself properly to the princest… Uh I mean princess! Of course…

>She’s giving you you a strange look.

>”I don’t think I should let you, I don’t want you to… uh… “surprise” her with this kind of formulas”

>Shit

>Damn you Freud! You and your slip!

 

>You all go back in the tree library and Twilight start to write the letter

>She mentions that she is coming to visit tomorrow to search for something in the royal library

>She also explains the princess how Flutershy found you and your memory problems

>She describes to you as “An unknown bipedal being who is capable of social interaction and whose strange customs may seem strange but are free of malice”

“I’m not like this on purpose! I think I might have some kind of trauma and by the way I’d be glad if you could use some magic to see if there is something wrong in my head. I mean physically speaking.

I know you’re not doing this on purpose, Anon. But I think putting things like this will prevent you to embarrass m… to embarrass yourself in front of the princess, you know!”

>Despite her forced smile, what she meant was crystal clear.

>”About the check-up, maybe we can go to the hospital later, I don’t know much about medical stuff.

Shouldn’t we take the train as soon as possible?

>No, It’s already 4 p.m. and I’ll wait for an answer from Celestia first, I think we should wait tomorrow.”

>She look upstairs “Spike! Come down please! I’d like you to meet someone and send aa letter for me!

>As the small dragon come down the stairs, he stop and stares at you for a second, wondering what kind of thing you are.

>Spike! This is Anon.Says Twilight as she points a hoof at you. He’s got a severe case of amnesia but don’t worry he’s very nice. We’re going to go to Canterot tomorrow to search the library and ask Celestia for advice.

>After coming right in front of you the young scaled creature present you his open hand to shake

>Well, pleased to meet, Anon sir, I’m Spike the dragon, Twilight’s number one assistant.

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: suit, apples (3), half eaten bread loaf

 

>You crouch too shake the little claw with both hands

“What manners mister Spike! With such a gentleman to help them, these mares must never run up in any trouble at all.

>I’m doing my best everyday Sir, as my very honour as a dragon depends on it! Proudly says Spike

My! My! My! I didn’t know I was going to meet a real knight! I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the damsels you’re serving has already fell in love with you.”

>The two ponies and Spike laugh a little after your last statement, Spike sounds a little embarrassed though

>Then Twilight proceeds to give the letter to Spike, who sends it in a small blast of fire

“Well, tomorrow Canterlot! But I’m afraid I don’t have a place to spend the night…

>Hum… If you don’t mind” start Flutershy with her usual quiet voice “You could spend the night on my sofa. It’s long enough for you and I could give you for blankets

>”That sounds like a good idea! Says Twilight, But you wanted to do to the hospital didn’t you”

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: suit, apples (3), painkillers(8)

 

>You gladly accept Fluttershy’s offer.

>You are now heading for the hospital doing little chit-chat on the way

>When you arrive, Fluttershy says she has to go prepare the cottage for tonight and look after the animals, Angel must be worried…

>Even after Twilight’s explanation, the doctor pony isn’t sure about what to do with you

>He goes through a complete check-up as Twilight is watching

>He finally says that there is no sign of physical trauma but that it might be a disease he do not know about.

>When you’re about to leave, he gives you a tablet of painkillers and advise you to take some if you have a headache or something else.

>Yay, free healthcare.

>It’s now about 6 p.m.

>You and Twilight go back to her place

>”You should head to Fluttershy’s cottage, it’s going to be night time soon.

>You remember where she lives, right?”

>You do

 

“Don’t worry! Its ok, I just want to go to bed now

>Good. I think I… “She pauses as you eat two painkillers right in front of her

>”Does it hurts somewhere?” She says, worried

“Nope”

>”Maybe I’ll accompany you just in case actually”

>The two of you proceeds to go to Fluttershy’s cottage, when you arrive, the sun has almost disappeared behind the horizon

>”Well, see you tomorrow Anon!

Good night Twilight”

>Your knock the door

>The faintest “come in” you ever heard invite you to enter

>Inside the cottage are a lot of little animals such as bird but also squirrels, mice, and a racoon.

>there is two pillows and a blanket on the sofa

>you can hear some cooking noises from the kitchen

 

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: none

 

>You wonder what Fluttershy is cooking and decide to check the kitchen

>”Welcome, Anon” she says with a cute as hell voice.

>It appear she is baking a salted cake, it smells nice and you have enough time to take a shower

>She’s ok with it.

>You process to clean yourself

>As you were getting a refreshing shower you hear noises being the curtain

>You open it, hopping somepony was curious about human anatomy

>Discord

>Sitting on what seems to be a toilet and reading a newspaper

>”Strange alien ape takes over the bathroom” is making the headlines

>”Good evening, my little whatever-you-are friend, how was your day?”

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: none

 

“Can you please give me the painkillers in my suits pocket?

>Of course!”

>The tablet appears in front of you and you proceed to take one more painkiller

>Oh! Yeah! I took the liberty to… “Enhance” them.

>You’re not sure if you’re going to regret taking one just now.

Well for your information, this was a pretty neat day. I met ponies and stuff, I made friend with a dragon and I just met a freaking god of chaos and I’m gonna conquer one’s hell of a sofa later.

>Very nice indeed but shouldn’t you be doing what you came here for in the first place.

Say what

>Come on, you don’t think you’ve been sent here without any purpose, dude, you have to save Equestria you know.

Come again? I can’t here you over the sound of the waterfall

The strange dragon chimera dude mumbled something in Polish again

>the logical course of action in this kind of situation is to guess its sexual customs to make friendly gestures to the unknown civilization’s ambassador

>For what you can guess, this guy could be up for anything with any gender, but it’s also likely he already tried everything as is not interested in it as much as before.

>Damn, that’s very little to work on, your wonder if you’ll succeed the negotiation for the building of the couch embassy.

>Oh. He left. Does that mean the bathroom is under your jurisdiction?

>you’re all clean now. You smell like blueberry.

descendance

 

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Drugged

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5)

 

>You decide it’s time to attend to your duties as a member of the couch’s government

>And by member of the government you mean king of course

>This country has bet let unattended for way too long. You’re sure the threads of the sofa aren’t even secured anymore

>You quickly put on your royal garments as you get to your realm.

>By Thor’s hammer! Some critters have already invaded the couch while you were showering! These fools will taste your wrath!

>Using your mastery of military tactics, you make them fly away just by pulling the blanket they were on, you’re a genius, truly.

>You then place yourself in the capital of wellington. Now is the time to establish the new tax system.

”Fluttershy! My undersecretary of friendship come here at once! My plan for this land must by recorded and spread by you.

>She arrives. She looks astonished by your greatness. Damn this cooking apron sure does make her look hot.

>Hot? Of course! There it is! The future for this land is already shining.

“Listen carefully secretary of hotness, the main resource of this couch is warmth, that’s what our tax system will be based on.

The taxes will be lowered for any critters that produce warmth, such as mammals. They’ll only have to pay one food unit for a unit.

One food unit representing what a common sized critter needs to eat for a day

Other critters such as bird, which produce less warmth, will have to pay one unit every three days, and cold blooded, one every two days!”

>this was pure genius, the bird and cold blooded animal would need the warmth of the sofa, enhanced by the mammals.

>Soon enough, the tax system will make this couch the capital of Equestria

>The skies showed their approval by starting to spin faster and faster and this until you black out.

>Health: ???

>Mental: ???

 

Chapter 3

 

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), Suit, apples (3)

Resuming story

>You’re in in your room

>Your computer screen displays a message you’ve seen a lot of times

>It’s happening.

>A photoshopped Ron Paul over a post a post-apocalyptic background. Nothing special here.

>Except that this time, the horror called by this image is a more accurate description of what’s happening right now than ever.

>You have to do something, you must go and see it for yourself.

>You take your gun and head out

>the door open to an unfathomable abyss

>You walk in, just like it was what had always been here

>You fall into the shadows, rolling faster and faster you see the block your room was in getting tinier as you keep sinking.

>You wake up, covered in sweat. It’s morning

>You’re in Fluttershy’s cottage, on the couch.

>She’s sleeping, her head on her fore hooves next to your torso, the rest on the floor

>You must have worried her, she didn’t even let you sleep alone.

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), Suit, apples (3)

 

 

>You decide it’s better to let her sleep

>You gently pick her, being careful not to make too much noise and bring her to her bed.

>You have to meet Twilight at her house in about 30 minutes

>Since it’s only 10 minutes far by feet you have some time to kill

>You’re super hungry by the way, you only ate a bread loaf since you arrived in Equestria

>You noticed there is still some salted cake on the kitchen’s table.

>As you were going to the kitchen, you notice Angel in the middle of the room staring at you

>He looks upset somehow.

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), Suit, apples (2)

“What’s up little one? You look hungry

>you pick an apple and proceed to give it to him

>He toss it away with his paw as soon it’s in reach.

>How rude of him. You’ll eat this apple yourself then.

>But the little rabbit still look upset and start pointing the table with his little arm

>In a sudden realisation, you understand that he wants to tell you let weird guy let a note for you

>And also that he wants you to leave his house

>On the table are a basket of fruits, two plates and indeed a note on one of them

>”Dear green person,

>Since you have some items that I have influenced, you better be a little more careful with them

>As you probably realised they have a powerful, let’s say “imagination enhancing” effect

>But that’s no reason not to use them, in fact, It’s probably the additional actions of the others pills you took earlier that that made you go to bed right away.

>They’re harmless! I promise! In fact you should share those if you have the opportunity.

>Just remember not to use them with other drugs or alcohol.

>From your acquiesce, friend or whatever you prefer, Discord

>You’re still hungry by the way, one apple won’t cover one day of eating

 

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), suit, apples (4), bananas (2), kiwi (3), Discord’s letter

 

>You try to guess the rabbit’s favourite fruit but he won’t accept anything coming from you

>Too bad for him.

>Although you’re not sure an animal this small could survive a whole pill actually

>You find a quill and paper to write a thank note for Fluttershy

>It almost time to go see Twilight now

>You take some cake and fruits with you for the trip

>As you arrive at the library you have eaten the whole piece of cake

>You knock the door

>”Wait a second, please” says Twilight’s voice

>The door finally opens

>”You’re just on time Anon! Let’s head for the train station, shall we?”

 

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), suit, apples (3), bananas (2), kiwi (2), Discord’s letter

“Twilight, can you keep a secret, please”

>She seems surprised “What is it? Did you remember something?”

“No but still, it’s very important, something happened at Fluttershy’s, I want you to Pinkie promise you won’t tell anypony!”

She thinks for a moment and proceeds to accomplish the silly ritual

>”Ok what is it Anon”

“Yesterday while I was taking a shower, Discord showed and…

>And?

And. He. Saw. Me. NAKED”

>…

>”Well I guess he saw me and my friends naked too…”

>That makes sense

>”Now that I think of it you’ve always been wearing clothes, is there something about being naked where you come from?”

>You decide to go to the train station and answering her questions on the way

>You also offer her some fruits, she gladly accepts.

>You explain her that where you come from everybody is wearing clothing and nakedness is for special circumstances.

>When she asks you why the ponies being naked doesn’t bother you, you tell her that your kind is aware it’s the only one that make such a big deal about being naked

>It seems you remember the social norms and a little pop culture actually

>You tell her about a great dancer you remember, the one who performed the moves you were trying to imitate when you met her

>The two of you keep talking about music and dance until you finally arrive at the train station

>The train is already here

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), suit, apples (3), bananas (2), kiwi (2), Discord’s letter

 

>You suddenly realise you could wander the streets totally naked and nopony would mind.

>But that would mean not having your inventory and being barefoot on the ground

>No hooves Anon, It wouldn’t feel right

>The two of you buy tickets for Canterlot and find free seats in the train

>As you notice some ponies glancing at you, you ask Twilight why ponies aren’t more scared of you

>”Well I’d say that’s because they know there is a lot of different species out there

>Griffons, cows, donkeys and even a minotaur have been in Ponyville before

>They must assume you’re from a species they haven’t heard about yet

>And since you’re wearing that suit, you look a lot more civilized that a minotaur don’t you think?”

“Isn’t it hard to be a tailor since everybody’s naked?”

>”Well everypony likes to have something nice to wear for good moments, so it’s ok. You can ask Rarity, I’ll introduce you to her later if you want.”

>As the conversation keeps going, you finally arrive at Canterlot

>As you come out of the train, you notice several ponies staring at you

>They seem a little confused by your appearance but they all go back to their activities after a few moments

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), suit, apples (3), bananas (1.5), kiwi (2), Discord’s letter

 

*set trap check: 6

*performance check for being cool: 5

>You try to stuff a pill in a banana but it’s way too obvious for anypony to buy it

>You’ve kinda ruined the banana too

>Well, these pony folks all seems nice, therefore this is a perfect time to test the limits of their patience

>You start by walking in a gangling manner among the ponies, they stare at you wondering what the hell you’re doing

>You then proceeds to do a moonwalk that looks incredibly silly while trying to imitate the high pitched voice of the king.

>Some of the nearby ponies start to make appalled noises and some of them are fleeing from the place

>”Anon! Please! Behave yourself!” says an embarrassed Twilight

>”Hey, you there, you’re incommoding the citizens”

>You turn around to see a big grey unicorn in armour approaching

>”Don’t mind him please, he can be a little silly but really he means no harm at all!” said Twilight as she stepped in.

>Seeing a princess calmed the dude a little but he still looks concerned

>”I beg your pardon, princess” he bows “But are you sure we can have this creature wandering freely in Canterlot? It looks like he’ll cause trouble if he goes in the middle of the city”

>”Don’t worry, I’ll watch over him”

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), suit, apples (3), banana (1/2), kiwi (2), Discord’s letter

 

*perception check:10

*performance check:15

>This guy needs a lesson about cultural diversity

>Time to use your best British accent

“Oo, so that’s how it is in this city of yours, isn’t it, my armoured friend?

I just wanted to show all these folks the traditional greeting of my people

And what is the response to such a friendly act? I end up treated like some wicked trouble maker!”

>The guy seems a lot less confident

>”Well, uh… Ok, you’re not a bad person I guess, but ponies thinks you’re acting strange.”

“And on what kind of fact is this assumption based on please?

Could it be you realised an opinion poll among the present ponies before treating me like the lowest criminal scum?

How about you check your privilege, grey one!”

>The guard is now clearly confused

>”Uh I’m sorry, I didn’t want to offend you of something”

“Well, I guess things like that happens when a zealous guardian of order is on duty

Don’t worry, my friend, it is normal for one to be wary of who he doesn’t know

But giving a chance to a new acquaintance is the only way to find who he really is

And I intend to do the first step to mutual understanding” You pull out the intact banana out of your pocket” by giving you this present as a word of peace and friendship”

>”Uh… Thanks I guess?”

“Well if you could now excuse us please, it appears we have an appointment”

>”Well, have a nice day, and don’t put yourself in trouble ok?”

>You are now free to make your way to the castle and proceed to do so

>”Please, don’t start dancing like this in front of the princess pretty please” begs Twilight

>”Ow, I’ve never been so embarrassed… Once we’re in the castle, just talk and act normally, can you do that?”

>You are now in front of the castle

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), suit, apples (3), kiwi (2), Discord’s letter

 

>You eat the remains of the banana. With your mouth still stuffed, you say

“Aye guv, Imma gonna be da swwtest dud a’oud ere, yap!”

>While patting her back in an exaggerate way

>You can read the very definition of despair in Twilight’s eyes right now

”Come on Twilight I’m just kidding, you know”

>”I know but… sometimes you’re more embarrassing me that making me want to laugh”

>Ouch

“But Twilight, I don’t think you’ll approve or understand, but I was made for this.

All this dancing and all this singing... it feels so natural to me.

But regardless, I shall suppress my instinct and my true callings.

Because the only thing I want, purple one, is to see you happy”

>she blushes slightly

>”Thank you Anon, I know by now you do not want to harm anupony

>Besides, since the princess is expecting us anyway I think we can take a little shortcut”

>She closes her eyes and her horn start to glow

>In a purple flash, the two of you are teleported in the royal library

>There is nobody else for now

>”In her answer, Princess Celestia told me to start searching the library as soon as I want and that she’ll come check on us later

>I’m counting on you, Celestia is the ruler of all Equestria you know? And she told me she was very curious about you”

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), suit, apples (3), kiwi (2), Discord’s letter

 

Stealth roll: 17

Perception roll: 17

>You decide to search the mythology section while Twilight is looking elsewhere

>Since she’s absorbed in her reading, you easily get out of her sight unnoticed

>Most of the books you read contains boring stuff about either some far-fetched astrological premonition or the story of a long dead heroic pony.

>They’re all good for the building of your secret book fort though, it’ll be completed in a matter of minutes

>After about 10 minutes of research, two books picked your attention

>The first one is talking about the deities of Equestria

>Among Celestia, Luna, and other being you’ve never heard about, there is a whole chapter about discord

>It says he appeared when the ponies managed to gain control of the weather and the stars, approximately after the crowning of Celestia and Luna.

>Apparently, the chaos which previously ruled the nature in Equestria poured out after it went in control of the princesses and then fused itself in a single being that would be Discord.

>It says that he can control and know about all but only the natural forces of Equestria

>That makes it unlikely for him to be the one that brought you here but he might know something about it

>The second book is awfully old, and is written in a language you can’t even understand

>It’s some kind of runic writing

>But what appealed you are the drawing inside it

>Humans

>Hieroglyphic, half erased, stylised drawings, but the proportions of the bipedal beings made it clear It was humans

>In this book are also representations of the sky, forests, and other natural landscapes and what seems to be a huge tower at the top of a mountain

>As you were pondering on the meaning of this, you hear Twilight greeting someone else

>“Princess Celestia! Thank you so much for coming!”

>“Good morning Twilight, I’ll always be glad to help you in any way possible” says a more mature and calm voice

>They haven’t seen you yet, and your fort is ready

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), suit, apples (3), kiwi (2), Discord’s letter

 

Chapter 4:

 

>Previously, our hero Anon and Twilight had successfully entered the royal library despite the fact that he couldn’t wink to any guard in the process thanks to the teleportation spell. After some time, Anon went unnoticed in the mythology section of the library. The informations he found included the origin of Discord but also some representations of humans in a very old book. He also made a book fort.

>And now Celestia has arrived has started talking  with Twilight, they haven’t seen you yet.

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), suit, apples (3), kiwi (2), Discord’s letter

 

>You hide in your fort with your finding

>You want to study a little more this book with humans in it

>But there nothing to get from it as it’s written some kind of runes you don’t know

>You shouldn’t have skipped the Elven class after all…

>As you fail to understand the ancient scriptures you can hear the two princesses talking

>“So where is this person you told me about in your letter?”

>”He must be searching elsewhere. Anon! Where are you?”

“Over here, Twilight!”

>You hear them getting closer. When you’re sure they are close enough from you, you suddenly burst out of your fort

“Princess Celestia! It’s an honour for me to meet the ruler of this land!

I’m Anon” You bow down “I’m sure your student has already told me about you”

>Twilight is giving you the “what have you done, fool!” look

>The white mare was surprised when you revealed yourself but quickly regain composure and start talking with a gentle smile.

>”Anon, I’m pleased to meet you. I have a few questions I’d like to ask you but, what is the book you’re holding?”

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), suit, apples (3), kiwi (2), Discord’s letter

 

”As I was searching some clues about how I might have arrived here I found this book

Twilight told me that ponies hadn’t met any of my kind but the creatures represented here sure do look like me”

>She levitates the book toward her and start browsing it

>”Well that’s true. I’ve come across this book before but the resemblance didn’t struck me right away.

>And I know for sure the likes of you have never been seen in Equestria at least before my reign”

“Maybe if I take of my clothes, the resemblance will be more obvious”

>You wink heavily

>Twilight makes a tensed smile, but Celestia is taking it on the joke side.

>”No need for that, I can clearly say you are what you pretend”

“Could you tell please me what is this book about, I can’t read it”

>”Actually Anon neither can I”

>”Even you can’t read it?” says Twilight surprised that even her teacher don’t have the answer

>”That’s right, this book is one of the oldest in the whole library, possibly of Equestria

>”Only Starswirl the Bearded has tried to decipher it but he didn’t go all the way

>If I remember correctly, he spent about three days on it but stopped after

>He said that the facts stated in this book were incompatible with what we know for sure

>He said it was probably a mere tale book for fillies and lost interest in it as he had better things to do, he said at time

>Since then, it remained mostly untranslated, but we keep it as a testimony from a distant past

>We still have Starswirl’s notes, maybe you’d like to take a look?”

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), suit, apples (3), kiwi (2), Discord’s letter

 

“Did you find something else, Twilight?”

>“Well I searched things about memory loss but it either implied a disease that we don’t know you can be subject to

>Or it just advised to let time pass as the memories might just come back themselves.”

“So that book is your best lead isn’t it?

Princess, I’d appreciate if you could show us these notes you mentioned”

>”Of course. Follow me, I remember seeing them over there”

>As you all start searching for the notes in a pile or sheets and scrolls, you try to use your special sense on the white mare

>Apparently, just like discord, she has a lot of experience but hadn’t been in the mood for a long time

>Nevertheless, she surely hadn’t been as adventurous as the chaos god in that field and some new things might rekindle the flame.

>After about 15 minutes, you’ve gathered all the notes concerning the book you’re holding

“So, what does it says?”

>”I don’t know yet” says Twilight

>”He probably just wrote these notes for himself. Everything is in a mess.

>I’m going to need a lot of time to bring something out from this”

“Don’t worry I’m sure you can do it, if Starswirl could do it, there’s no way you can fail while having his notes.

I know you’ve already done things greater than him before, you can do it again”

>She seems a lot more confident

>”Well I’m still going to need a lot of time, can we borrow this book and these notes princess Celestia?

>”I have a better Idea Twilight” She answers “How about you and your friend stay in the castle for your research?

>You may need other references for this task”

>”Are you ok with this Anon?”

“I’m completely fine with this! By the way I think I would only be a drag for Twilight if I tried to help her

She told me you had some questions for me, I about I try to answer them in the meantime?”

>Twilight seems a little reluctant to the idea of letting you alone with the princess but say a word

>”Well that’s true. Let’s find a more comfortable place to talk so we won’t bother my student”

>You follow Celestia out of the library to a small room that seems to be an office

>She invites you to take a seat

>”Anon I’m glad you made friend with Twilight, Anon, she really seems to appreciate you”

“I’m glad to, I was lucky it was her and her friends that found yesterday”

>”By the way, you really seems like you know Twilight very closely, even though you have amnesia

>For example you said earlier that you knew she had accomplished something Starswirl couldn’t do

>What exactly were you referring to exactly? “

>She looks a lot more serious all of a sudden

 

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), suit, apples (3), kiwi (2), Discord’s letter

 

“I was thinking about how she became an alicorn. She completed a spell Strarswirl couldn’t, didn’t she?”

>”And how would you know that? You don’t look like you have any knowledge in the field on magic”

>Time to show her some of your improvisation and performing skills

“Well believe me or not but that’s just how it is

When I woke up a Flutershy’s, all the things I knew were basic skills like writing and reading

But nothing about me, I even had to make up my very name

The other things I know all relate to the elements of harmony

Twilight and her friend, it feels like I’ve always been watching their adventures from a corner since her arrival in Ponyville

Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, it feels as I’ve been with them for a long time

I can’t explain it either, and that scares me, because I know I’m not a part of these memories

I may not even be from this world at all. Some malicious entity may have been playing with me and sent me here for an obscure purpose

But…” You dramatically stare into her eyes “Cogito ergo sum, Princess

I know for sure that what I’ve been in since yesterday isn’t fake

The friendship, if I dare to call it so, I share with Twilight and Fluttershy is real

And I can feel deep inside me, that the magic of friendship is not something I imagined”

>As you stare each other, a tear come down your cheek, as you’re moved by your own speech

>After a few seconds, she back of on her seat with a long sigh

>”I can tell that you are sincere, Anon.

>But seeing the way the gaps in your memory are, I’m afraid of what it could mean for Twilight and her friends

>As you said we know nothing about who you are, but it’s clear that it’s deeply related with them

>I wish I had a way to ensure myself that you’re not dangerous for them

>May it be by your own will or not.

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), suit, apples (3), kiwi (2), Discord’s letter

 

>You think for a moment

“Actually, there’s something else I haven’t told Twilight yet”

>”What is it, Anon?”

“Last night I had a really weird dream, I can’t really explain why but it felt like it wasn’t a dream at all

I think it might have been a part of my memory or at the very least some message from my subconscious

Maybe Princess Luna can investigate the next time I sleep”

>”If your guess is right, it may give us some informations about your past

>It’s worth a try. I’ll tell Luna about it later

>But in the meantime I think you should stay with Twilight at the library

>You said you couldn’t help her, but I’m sure your support will cheer her up

>I’ll send you some refreshments”

>you return to the library

>Twilight is working in a corner, she’s so absorbed in her work she didn’t even notice you

>Some butler pony comes some shortly after with a plate of pastries, a carafe of apple juice and glasses

“Thank you kind sir I will put these to good use”

>You wink heavily

>He raises an eyebrow then leaves, letting you with the goods

>You approach Twilight and calmly pose a hand one her shoulder

>She snaps out of her concentration

>”Oh, Anon! I haven’t heard you coming back”

“This looks like something really monopolizing, how about you take a little break” you say as you present her a glass of juice

>”Thank you, I’m actually quite thirsty”

>For a moment the two of you share a quiet time just drinking and eating

“So? How is it going?”

>”It’s really hard. Starswirl had no starting point for the translation so he used a bunch of other books as references

>He didn’t wrote the direct signification of everything

>But often he goes like “here we can relate this to some other formula in some other work”

>I had to deal with a lot of other books

>So far I managed to get that this book tells a story about the creation of Equestria, that’s all.”

>Judging by the amount of book on the desk she’s working on, it sure seems like something really tiring

“I’ve already said that it but if somepony can do it, it’s you Twilight!

>Her mood seems to lighten up a little

>”I’m glad you’re here Anon, this book was getting on my nerves a little

>I really needed to take a break”

>She smiles at you

“If you need my for anything, I’ll be around”

>”I’ll remember that” she says as she returns to the pile of books.

>For the next hours, you spend your time reading some other legends books but learn nothing you didn’t knew before

>Sometimes Twilight asked you to bring her a certain book. All of them were old and dusty

>No one else entered the library until the evening, when a night blue unicorn passed the door

>”You’re the one that is named Anon Aren’t you?” She says as she comes to you

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), suit, apples (3), kiwi (2), Discord’s letter

 

Chapter 5:

 

>Last time, our hero managed to somehow earn the trust of the sun princess and even get her to ank her sister to investigate Anon’s dream tonight. Twilight, on the other hand, is still working on the book’s translation. You spent the afternoon in the library, hoping to find more informations, but you found nothing. And as it now the evening, Luna has come to meet you.

>As you see the night blue mare before you, you can’t help but to squee a little >It’s not like you’ve met other princesses before, is it?  >”Um is there something wrong?”

“Uh! Not at all, I’m just a little exited to meet you!” You bow down on these words “Anon at your service, Princess Luna”

>”Well, it’s true that one does not meet princesses every day, you must be quite unfamiliar with your own condition right now?

>But I’ve heard you’ve been into greater trouble than simple manners issues”

>She’s a little more serious right now, and keeps her voice down

>”My sister told me everything, Anon, and tonight I’ll be in your dreams, so hear me as I explain you how it’ll work

>She looks around a little to see if nopony else is listening

>”I’ll be honest with you Anon, Celestia relied on my abilities to assess what kind of danger you could represent

>She thinks that there is a little chance you’ll harm the realm and more likely Twilight

>If I enter your dreams, I’ll remember everything you’ll dream about this night, what means more than what you’ll remember

>And I’m going to tell the raw truth off what I’ll have witnessed, not biasing it for or against you no matter what happens

>And Celestia will be the only judge of what happens next, I trust her completely on that matter

>So I’m giving you this chance, as I now that the meaning of dreams are unclear

>If you think that there is a possibility your dreams may make you look like what you’re not, I think you should leave this place at once

>I can even help you to get out if you want, and I’ll even relay anything you want to say to Celestia”

>She poses for a moment, leaving the room in a heavy silence

>”So, Are you still up for what’s coming tonight, Anon?”

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), suit, apples (3), kiwi (2), Discord’s letter

 

>You think about it for a moment

“Taking this risk is still the best choice I have, it’s not like I have someplace to go anyway”

>You put on a more assertive pose

“Yup, I’m going for this, if I don’t go all out I’m not going to learn anything about what’s going on

Even in the worst case, if I do end up being something evil, that would only have fastened the unavoidable

We’ll all get clues about who I am, whatever it will be, it’ll be me, so I’m not going to chicken up

I’ll deal with it

And at least, I’d be caught right away, so I couldn’t harm anything I care for right now”

>You surprise yourself looking at Twilight

>She giggle for a moment

>”Well you sure are making me feel silly for asking you that in the first place

>Besides, it seems that the emptiness of what you lost has been filled by something else

>We’ll have dinner altogether in about half an hour in the guest lounge

>Tell that to Twilight, she’ll know where it is

>If you have more questions, we’ll talk about it there?

>She then leaves the library

>You are now alone with Twilight again, who didn’t seem to even notice any of this

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), suit, apples (3), kiwi (2), Discord’s letter

 

>After about 10 minutes before dinner time you bring Twilight out of her trance

“Hey, Twilight”

>”Hu?” She blinks frenetically before staring at you. It feels like you woke her up from a dream.

>”Oh Anon, What is it?”

“Luna came here a little while before, she wanted to see me

And the thing is…” You act like if you were embarrassed “she gave me a rendez-vous tonight at the guest lounge

But, I don’t know where it is and, since you know the castle, maybe you could tell me where it is?”

>She stares blankly at you

>”Wait you can’t be talking about something…romantic”

>It was too easy, she bought it all

“Well actually you are invited too. And Celestia will be there. And we’ll talk about tonight’s plan”

>The takes a few seconds to process the informations

>Before screaming the hell on you

>”I’M NOT in the MOOD for JOKES, Anon!

>And to put some weigh on her words, she (magically) throws a freaking heavy volume at you

>That you easily catch

>You are quite speechless before the furious purple pony

>Fortunately she calms down after a moment

>”Ugh, I’m sorry, this is really getting on my nerves, and to think I’m going to spend the night on it makes me sick”

“You shouldn’t work that much, it won’t do any good to over exhaust yourself”

>”I have to. Who knows what we’ll learn from your dreams?

>We must have this book translated in case there is something to relate to it”

>She proceeds to resume her task

“You know, Luna and Celestia are still expecting us for dinner actually”

>”Oh.” Sudden realization “oooooh… So that’s what you were talking about!

>Um… Maybe I’ll have a few hours of sleep after dinner, actually”

>The two of you then proceed the go to the lounge

>The table is already prepared when you arrive. The two alicorns are there too, smiling gently at you as you arrive

>There are empty chairs for you and Luna invites you to take place

>”Tonight might be hard for some of us, so let’s have a fine meal before that, shall we?”

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), suit, apples (3), kiwi (2), Discord’s letter

 

(Forgot Xenosexology roll on Luna) *perception roll

Diplomacy roll: 14

>You and Twilight sit down

>There is nothing on the table put the plates, you guess the chief will bring the food later

>”So How are your researchs going, Twilight?”

>It takes some time for her to realise somepony’s talking to her

>”Well, this is quite unexpected, it tells about the creation of Equestria but it goes down to very specific places…

“Boooooring”

>You shout in your mind

>But it’s boring nonetheless. Twilight is on the verge of collapsing, which might explain with she snapped earlier

>And it impacts her storytelling skill, you feel like hearing a geology teacher. The old boring kind

>You wonder about how Luna is living her marehood right now. That sounds less boring to you

>It seems that since she was out of the game for about 1000 years, she may be receptive to the call of nature

>But you bet that no stallion would try to get in the princess’s privacy, former Nightmare Moon may be scaring them off

>She won’t be too assertive herself to preserve her image, so she won’t do the first step either

>Finally the chief arrives, breaking the inexhaustible flow of boredom

>”What would please you and you guests tonight, princess?” says the old moustached chief pony

>Celestia asks for a lot of luxury rabbit food: fruits, vegetables… Damn! Nothing consistent here!

>You need some meat to keep your Adonis’s body healthy!

“Chief! How about a fine steak. Medium-well with a good pepper crust and a fine bottle of wine”

>The three princesses are staring at you

>“Well, the wine shouldn’t be a problem but what is this steak thing you’re talking about?” The chief says

>You can’t be talking about the barbarian tradition where diamond dogs used to cut their prisoners flesh and ….”

“Heeyyyyyyy everypony, don’t you think thing have been a little too formal in this dinner?

I mean, bring us the wine kind sir! That will help us getting comfortable before the main dish!”

>He looks at Celestia who nods in return. He’s going for the wine

>After he left, Celestia breaks the awkward silence

>”Anon, a ‘steak’ is what sentient carnivorous creatures call a piece of meat for the purpose of eating right?”

>”Does people eat meat where you come from, Anon?” add Luna

>You wonder what would be the appropriate course of actions right now

>Twilight is still staring at you but does not seems conscious anymore

>Not sure if fainted or sleeping eyes open

>creepy in both cases

>The chief comes back and serve some wine to everybody during the awkward silence

 

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), suit, apples (3), kiwi (2), Discord’s letter

Bluff roll*

“Well it is true that where I come from we do eat meat but…”

>They do not seem to like this idea

“You know, it’s not like I eat persons, were I come from the other creatures are not really sentient so we… kinda eat them yeah…

>“Why wasn’t anypony aware of that before?” asks Celestia

“Well, I figured out ponies might not like it”

>“You were right”

>…

“But I can survive without it! Don’t worry, it’s not compulsory for me, I can go on with fruits and vegetables”

>You drink the wine you were offered, It’s a good one but its bitter warmness is not enough to ease your mind

>”So you’re telling us you eat other animals even through you’re not obliged to do so?

>So it’s for fun? Because they taste good maybe”

>Luna has a disgusted face just with the thought of it

“But seriously, it’s natural for my kind since a long time ago and I nevertheless didn’t do it since I know you won’t accept it”

>”But that would still means you’d have eaten, let’s say, Fluttershy’s friends, if it weren’t for us to watch you”

>You take another seep from the glass

>Some rabbit stew would indeed go marvellously with the brew

>”Are there other ‘ways’ of your kind we should know about?”

>…

“May I use the restroom?”

>”No”

 

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), suit, apples (3), kiwi (2), Discord’s letter

 

“Well I must say that it’s really a matter of cultural history here

For example, I know for sure Fluttershy’s been giving some of her friend fish for eating

This is not a barbarism to you, is it? But is the fish at the same level of sentience as the potato?

I think every culture has a different point of view about what is ethically eatable or not

And in my case the purpose of an omnivorous…

>”You’re getting us wrong Anon”

>She interrupted you, how rude

>”We know you won’t try to eat some of our subject

>Twilight has been living with a dragon, a species that eat almost everything to when wild

>The problem here is that you surprising us with new antics at every conversation we have

>Don’t you understand that what’s odd about you is the knowledge and customs that spring out of nowhere?

>We know almost everything about us, the elements and Equestria while don’t even know what you eat

>Right now, based on what I’ve heard, I could expect you start dancing on the table for no reason

>No reason we understand at least”

>One more wine bottle and she’d be probably right

>”Since speaking won’t get us to learn anything, I suggest you and Luna go to bed right now

>I hope we’ll get our hooves on something that way, just take some fruits in the kitchen”

>”Conversation is over” says her face

>After that, Celestia went toward Twilight and put her on her back and then left without a word

>Only you and Luna are left

 

Chapter 6:

 

>Last time, Anon had a quite unpleasant conversation with Celestia who seems to be more wary of him that he thought. As Twilight blacked out during the argument, Celestia has taken her away and demanded you went to bed at once so Luna could enter your dreams. And that’s the point we are at right now: alone with the moon princess in the guest lounge and you’re gonna sleep with her tonight (in your dreams). At that moment the chief pony comes back with the food, surprised to see only two persons left.

>”I’m sorry it turned out like this” says Luna breaking the silence

>”Take some food with you, we should do as my sister said”

>She proceeds to take some snacks herself and heads for the door

 

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), suit, apples (3), kiwi (2), Discord’s letter

 

>No need to do something else, you think

>You do as the princess say, grabbing the meal you’ll be eating on the way to your chamber

>After a silent walk in the castle, the two of you arrive at room with only one bed and some other furniture in it

“You’re going to sleep in another room?” you ask

>”No Anon” she sits in a chair in a corner of the room

>”I won’t be sharing your dreams in my sleep.

>As it is a spell I have to cast, I will be awake

>Well, in a sort of trance actually

>You see, I already sleep all the day so I don’t need more at night” she says with a smile

>Unlike her sister she does try to be a little comforting

>”Are you ready to sleep Anon?”

>After the travel in train and the whole afternoon searching in the library you sure feel sleepy

 

>Health: Fine

>Mental: Calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), suit, apples (3), kiwi (2), Discord’s letter

 

“Ok, but just remember my dreams might disturb you a little, princess, get ready for anything!”

>She laughs at that

>”Oh Anon, If I told you about the weirdest things in other ponies dream, you would be the disturbed one

>Thanks for the concern, still”

>You decide to take a few precautions before going to sleep

>First, these painkillers may be suspicious if somepony happened to read discord’s notice

>Time to make in disappear forever

>Being omnivorous has advantages

>Second, in order to have a good dream, it’s important to make yourself comfortable

>You take of your suit, only your underwear is left

>Luna does not seem to mind

>But you’re still concerned about your dreams being disturbing

>Maybe some… pleasuring… could make it look less strange to her

>The apples you carry are scarily big for this purpose but the kiwis should do the trick

>You proceed to put one in your rear discreetly under the blanket

>Oh god this is still… so big…

>You don’t know… you’ve never taken something in here… you don’t know if you can do it…

>Fortunately you inner sempai whispers in your ear

>”Dayjobbu, Anon-kun, ii death u ka”

>You finally put the big hairy thing in your butt

“SEMPAI !”

>”What the… What the hell are you doing down there!” she says as she understand what you’ve been doing

>She stares at you awkwardly

> you can see she’s blushing

 

>Health: [spoiler] kiwi in ass[/spoiler]

>Mental: [spoiler] ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)[/spoiler]

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), suit, apples (3), kiwi

 

Chapter 7:

 

>Last time, Anon was about to go to sleep in order to have princess Luna investigate his dreams. Just after making himself comfortable by putting a kiwi in his ass, Anon finally fell asleep.

 

>”Is he gonna make it ?” you hear a male voice say near you

>”I don’t know, It’s been two days already. The longer it takes the less chances he has” responds another voice

>After that nothing for a moment

>You open your eyes

>You’re driving a car

>You’re one a one way road in a forest, but you don’t know where

>It just feel like you have to go down that road

>Because that’s where it’s happening

>But in your mirror, you see something of the back sit

>A night blue alicorn?

>What? There is no way… Ugh… You suddenly remember what was happening before you went to sleep

>And you realize you are dreaming too

>You feel like you have to continue driving but you still don’t know why or where to

>For now Luna is simply looking at you and the surroundings through the windows

>You feel something in your butthole by the way

 

>Health: ???

>Mental: ???

>Inventory: ???

 

pastebin : http://pastebin.com/FhRCtjdJ

 

“Princess Luna”

>”You noticed me Anon? That means you know you’re dreaming, right?”

“Yeah! It feels like I’ve got to go that way somehow but I don’t know why or where we are going”

>”I understand Anon. Try to forget about me and concentrate on this feel

>If you’re experiencing something from your past, the fact that you’re aware of it may hinder these memories

>Don’t talk to me unless it’s absolutely necessary”

>You listen to her advice concentrating on the feeling

>You have to get there no matter what

>Something horrible is going to happen and there is no way you’re going to let it end like this

>It’s just like you have to save your daughter from some evil place

>As you think about this a thick mist start to engulf the road

>Oh god so that was what you were after

>You abruptly accelerate

“CHERIL”

>You  charge off the road

>You feel yourself rolling over and over

>It’s horrible but finally it stops

>You find yourself on a soft ground and naked

>For some reason you are on a bed in a room you’ve never seen before

>You feel strangely aroused down there when the door of the room opens

>Enters the being that you have always fantasized about and its giving you the bedroom eyes

>(what is this being again?)

 

>Health: ???

>Mental: ???

>Inventory: ???

 

(don’t expect quality clopfics from me, sexual intercourses aren’t going to last more than one post unless I can make something story relevant or funny out of it)

 

>This is Luna, no, Nightmare moon looking upon you from all her high

>She’s wearing black leather straps that blend in her coat.

>”Be glad, Anon, because you have been chosen to please not one but two queens”

>At these words enters Queen Chrysalis, wearing a similar outfit

>boner intensifies

>”And to make it more fun, we’ll get another commoner to join us”

>Chrysalis pulls a chain she’s been holding

>A Renamon, hands tied behind her back is dragged in, looking scared

>”Now Anon, bend over” as she reveals her engine

>long live the queen! you happily obey

>You’re surprised to see that she goes in front of you with the chain Chrysalis were holding

>Until you feel the changeling queen putting her stick in your ass

>The jagged member make you cringe from pain as much as moan in pleasure

>”Renamon! Please him like he’s pleasing her”

>The yellow hairy creature is dragged in front of you, giving you quite a view of her holes

>Unable to resist, you grab the rear of the girl and plug you dick in her butthole

>unf.jpg

>At this moment, the black mare make her ways to kiss the bug queen

>With the other hoof, she forces your face on her crotch, putting it down your throat

>With both your mouth and rear filled and ponding something yourself, you quickly reach a climax, blowing your load in the furry

>After that things start to blur, the feeling from the females around and in you are fading away

>You wake up

>It’s still night and your pants are wet

>Luna is sitting where she was when you were asleep

>she opens her eyes, and quickly looks away from you, blushing

 

 

Perception roll

 

>You wonder if she might be aroused by what she saw, but can’t figure out anything

"I swear, this has never happened before!"

>You pop the kiwi out of your butt and throw it on the door

“it’s this thing’s fault, It would never has happened without it!”

>”Well that happens a lot when you go to sleep with something inside your… cavity”

"Well at least that was... interesting. I can't say I didn't enjoy it."

>She raises an eyebrow then continue

>”First I thought we were lucky because the dream wasn’t about sex, but your body’s feelings ended up taking over your mind”

>She shakes her head and regain more composure

>”Don’t worry though, I’ve seen an awful load of these kind of dreams

>When I visit ponies who’ve hit puberty, about a tenth of their dreams turn out that way”

 “Sorry about this, I couldn’t control it. So, what are your conclusions”

>”I’m not telling you yet, beside, It’s only 2 a.m., we have enough time for another attempt

>And this time you’ll be free of sexual tension

>how about you go refresh yourself and go back to sleep, I can guide you to the restroom if you’d like”

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: calm

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (5), suit, apples (3), kiwi

 

Wisdom roll

 

“Works for me, sure I’d like to clean myself a little down there”

>You put on your clothes and follow the night princess through the castle

>After a few minutes and winks, you arrive at the restroom

>You go in alone and after some cleaning you ponder about the use of a painkiller

>The first dream you had was after taking one of those

>But you slightly remember going a little nuts after taking one too

>It kicks in very quickly too

>Still, Discord said it was ok to take just one in his letter

>Well, he gave you your best item so far so let’s trust him a little

>You take one painkiller and go back to Luna

>On your way to the sleeping room, you start to feel lighter and lighter

>The whole castle seems as soft as cotton, and the moonlight through the window is making the marble of the floor look like clouds

>You are the most relaxed of all the anons right now

>You enter a room as you were following the moon mare

>You stare blankly at the heavenly bed that’s inside

>It must have been crafted from the finest fabrics, and enchanted by bed wizards

>”By the look on your face, you need more sleep, Anon” she giggles

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: enhanced imagination

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (3), kiwi

 

>You undress yourself to get more comfortable, but no kiwi this time

“I’m ready, Luna but before that, hear me as I open my heart to you

Luna, by your blessed moon I swear,

that tips with silver all your body,

I will show you a dream worthy of the majesty of the night. I, Count Anon of the Everfree Expanse, only request the tax which you owe me, that tariff on your bodily warmth. Come warm my bed so my dream may be sweet as your crystal candy stars. The punishment for your refusal will be dire, and I will march my men along your every curve to claim what is mine!"

>She seemed to like your speech, even the last lines

>Althought she looked a little confused while hearing them

>You then proceed to dramatically fall on the bed

>But you kinda fuck this up and see the ground getting closer a little too fast instead

>Fortunately, you don’t hit the ground, but Luna’s forelegs

>“Watch out, Anon, you almost hurt you there!”

>She puts you under the blankets while gently smiling at you

>You fall asleep with the satisfaction of the warmth successfully collected

>”Come on! There is no way discord is NOT Starswirl the bearded

>I mean, we know for sure that he was as powerful as Twilight, maybe even more

>AND that he couldn’t understand the magic of friendship

>Besides, Luna Knows him too, so the timeline match up perfectly too”

>Banon may be your buddy and all, but he surely is annoying when it comes to theories about mlp

>The two of you were hanging out, and you just had to mention the Luna Eclipsed episode you saw yesterday for him to bring up his shit

>And he won’t stop hammering his point

>You won’t be able to catch anything if he continues to ramble his mouth like this

>You’ll have to enlighten him with your superior knowledge

 

>Health: ???

>Mental: ???

>Inventory: ???

 

“That’s fanfic tier bullshit right there, you autist!”

>The two of you continue to argue about various points of the story for about 10 minutes

>Good thing you’re out in the forest, nobody else is here to see your spaghetti

>”Well, we must have made all the animals go away now, we better go back to the hut”

>But as the two of you start to head back, you spot something between the trees

>Luna

>He doesn’t seem to have noticed her

>You realise once again that you are asleep

>This time, though, you don’t have this oppressing feeling of  danger coming up

>You try to remember where you are and actually figures this out

>You are dreaming of that time Banon took you to hunting

>Well that explains the rifle and the forest

>At your own surprise you remember quite a lot about your friend and this day

>He is some guy you met some years ago and it appeared you had similar interests regarding ponies

>He can be irritating but generally is a nice dude

>The guy is also fond of hunting and you always wanted to try that

>That led to this day

>Now if things go as you remember, you guys are going to go back to hut and grab some beer

>And a few minutes later you’ll do you first shot on a hare, which will be the only catch of the day

>”Hey, you’re coming or what?”

 

>Health: ???

>Mental: ???

>Inventory: ???

 

>New skill granted by the gets god: last resort argument :

You can call someone autistic during an argument

If you roll 15 or higher, the argument is confirmed for autistic for anybody else in the discussion

You can’t use it for the rest of the day if it fail

 

>You decide to stick to the memory and go with the flow of what happens

>The two of you get to the hunting hut

>As you drink a beer you chat with your friend

>You (re)learn that his hut is from his dad who taught him to hunt

>You also talk about your respective jobs

>It appears you were unemployed at the time and that you had a hard time finding one

>Banon said his boss may have a part time job for you but that’s all

>You say that you’ll consider the option

>Once your beer is finished, you head out and go to a different direction

>A minute later, Banon stops you with this and silently point something in the distance

>Just on time bunny

>You take your aim as Banon whispers advice to your ear

>Goodbye Bunny

>You shoot, the deafening sound tearing through your ears

>Everything becomes blurry

>You wake up, it’s morning

>”That will be all for tonight Anon, now come with me, I’m going to tell my sister about what I saw”

>She yawn as she goes to the door

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), kiwi

 

"Why do dream always end before the best par- Er, I mean, good morning..."

>You think you’re pretty much screwed by this point

>Having the bunny hunt has not a good call, damn you brain!

>You begin to eat an apple, your last one you fear

“Do you want a kiwi pricess?”

>”Uhm, no thanks” she says awkwardly “I… uh … I’ve already eaten while you weren’t dreaming”

>You discuss last nights events as Luna is taking you somewhere

“So... do you have any questions before you have me banished to several dungeons simultaneously on the moon and the sun?"

>”I don’t think my sister would do that even to her worst enemy”

>She seems to take it like a joke

“Wait, you saw me killing a bunny, having futa sex with you and an evil queen and you still think there is hope?”

>”It’s not a bad as you think. The sex scene only tell us that you like having things in your butt, which could be deduced from the kiwi alone

>This part isn’t as weird as you think, I’ve seen a lot of more “dire” fetishes in others ponies dream

>I would rate yours only as above average strange”

>For some reason you feel insulted

>”But the main reason I think t’s going to be alright is that I saw you do have a past

>This was clearly another world come from, and you are not the only one from your kind

>Your friend I saw, he knew about Equestria just like you and he was also…well…”

>She pauses

>”Liking meat I guess

>With these information, the most likely theory about your condition to me is that you were just a normal person where you come from

>But you were accidentally brought here, and the shock gave you amnesia

>Well that’s what I think”

>You arrive before the door of what you recognize to be the throne room

>”My sister waits in there, I don’t know if Twilight will be there or not

>Just one last thing, Anon

>When you and your friend talked about us, it sounded like we were… story characters to you, is that it?”

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), kiwi

 

Spaghetti roll : dubs

 

“You could say so, but you were real to me... in a way. At least I wished you all were

>You look right into her eyes

"Well... maybe some more than others."

>You wink

>She starts laughing

“hey, I’m being serious you know”

>”I know”

>She catches her breath and says to you with a radiant smile

>”Thank you Anon, I’m sort of proud to be interdimensionaly important to you

>I’m sure it’s going to be ok, come”

>You open the doors

>Behind them waits Celestia, on her throne

>No Twilight in sight

>”Thank you for bringing him, my sister, now please tell me about what you saw”

>Luna starts to tell the story of what she saw in your dreams

>First the road trip, she precise that you were aware you were dreming and that it was obviously in another world than Equestria

>She adds that you used technology or magic gear she didn’t know about as she refers to the car

>She then explains how you accelerated, crashed and that you scremed a name before that

>The sex scene is mentioned as containing some above average fetishes and the presence of Chrysalis and Nightmare Moon

>Celestia said no when her sister asked her if she wanted more details

>Then comes the second dream in which, she talks about your friend, and also them being seen as characters

>Finally she describes the hunting and the killing using some fire breathing pipe

>Once the story is over, a heavy silent fall on the room as Celestia is pondering

>”Very well, Anon, I think you are just one lost being in a foreign universe

>Therefore you did not deserve my anger, I apologize for my former behaviour toward you

>However, you must learn to behave according to the equestrian rules

>You shall be given the laws and customs of Equestria so you can interact properly with other people

>That will also mean that from now one, you’ll be treated like anybody else regarding your doing

>Finally, I ask you to keep the things about you that may scare other ponies for yourself

>This is more an advice than an order, but I think you should think twice before saying anything about you

>I only have a few minor questions I’d like to ask about what my sister saw

>Now come, we’ll be having breakfast in another room, besides Twilight wants to see you”

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), kiwi

 

Chapter 8:

 

Performance roll

 

>Wow, she sure looks down

>Fortunately you have the perfect idea to cheer her up

>Your moves have to be perfect for this task

>And they kinda are this time!

>With the grace of a cat and the majesty of an eagle, you thriller to twilight, grabbing a muffin on the table

>You wished your momma could see how much of a sweet gentleman you’ve become

>Once you reach her, you manage a perfect 45° lean toward her and offer the muffin

“Cheer up Twilight, I’m free of all charges now! That’s a good reason to be happy don’t you think”

>At the beginning she was staring at you but now she’s worried about the princesses reaction

>To her and your surprise, they seem amused by your performance and Celestia even giggles

>”So that are the random dancing outbreaks I’ve heard of”

>”It is not unpleasant to watch” add Luna

>Seeing that you’re not making a fool of yourself, Twilight finally brighten up and even crack a laugh

>”I’m sorry, Anon” as she takes a bite from the muffin “It’s just that I let everyone down yesterday, especially you

>You were in trouble and all I could do was worrying about how I would amend for bringing you here

>I really feel stupid, I couldn’t even work on the book this night, I hope you’ll forgive me”

“It’s ok, I wasn’t on my best behaviour last night”

>You give her a hug, she gives it back

>After that you all start eating

>”So, what did we learn from Anon’s dreams?” asks Twilight

>”Well I think he remembers it all, maybe you’d like to tell her yourself Anon?” answers Luna

>Indeed you do remember

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), kiwi

 

Spaghetti roll

 

“well first there was this road we were going on and it felt like there was somewhere very important I had to go to

But then the effect of the kiwi kicked in and”

>”Wait, what kind of effect eating a kiwi could do to your dreams?”

“Eating it does nothing, but if you put it up your ass it makes your dreams a little more erotic”

>Silence

>Gee this isn’t so hard to figure out, how come she’s staring at you like you said something highly abstruse

“well after that I had this super-hot scene with Luna and Chrysalis

I’ll spare you the details, even Celestia hasn’t heard the whole thing”

>She hasn’t moved an eyebrow, is she broken?

>Celestia facehoofs

>”Uh… Twilight” start Luna “do…don’t mind too much about what Anon said I’m almost sure it’s not something to be married about

>Look, I’ve seen a lot of ponies having these kinds of dreams and even with me in it

>But that’s not really important, is it Anon? How about you tell her about your second dream

>It’s much more interesting, right”

>For some reason this sound like damage control

>You remember that Twilight is probably still a virgin and start feeling like the old dude that forcibly introduce kids to the matter of sex

>Nevertheless Luna managed to make Twilight snap out of her astonishment and she is waiting for you to continue your story

>You tell her about the second dream, she cringes a little when you explain the goal of hunting but nothing more

>But she looked really interested by what you said about you having a friend

>She tells you it’s sad because you must be missing him so much now

>Well it’s not “that” kind of friend

>But the part about them being story character in your world is what let her the more thoughtful

>You add that you really liked the show and always wished for it to be real

>”So that’s how you know all these things about us

>Can you please tell me what exactly what this show is about

>What happens in that show, have you seen like, my entire life so far or just a little bit”

>”I’d like to know that too, Anon” adds Celestia

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), kiwi

 

>It’s the first time someone actually asks you to explain in detail what the show is about without being sarcastic

“The show is basically aimed at kids, so it doesn’t have violence or things like that

But they nevertheless managed to keep it good by making a mix of adventure and slice of life stories”

>As they requested you start to decipher every episode of the show so far

>They are quite stunned by how accurately you can quote the exact things they said sometimes

>Twilight seems is creeped out to know that even her first slumber party had a lot of public

>You also tell them about the most well-known fanfictions and headcannons but they tell you it’s a load of bullshit

>They told it in a more elegant way don’t worry

>But when it comes to the show, there is nothing that is outright false in it

>The only lies in the show are more like omissions, you learn for example that there was several casualties during Chrysalis outbreak

>Once you’re over with the content, a heavy silence has fell

>It seems that Twilight is really uncomfortable to know that the intimate moments she had with her friends had been witnessed by other people

>You haven’t told them how big the fandom is, and you’re not sure it’s a good idea at this point

>”If you’ve finished to eat Anon, come with me” says Luna

>”I’m going to give you a couple of books to help you blend in our society”

>”Twilight” says Celestia “maybe you and me should go on a walk in the gardens so you can sort your thoughts”

>”Yeah, I think I’m a little confused about all this

>No offence Anon, but all you saw… I feel so weird about this

>Sure this doesn’t make you a stalker since it was just a show from your point of view

>But you did witness the most intimate moments in my life so far

>I… I think I shouldn’t see you today, I… I just don’t know what to think about all this anymore

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), kiwi

 

Chapter 9

 

>Last time, Anon decided to fully reveal to the three princesses the status of ponies as show characters in his home world. It appeared that everything that was in the show did happen in the Equestria you’re in. If Luna and Celestia weren’t as shocked as much as you expected, Twilight on the other hand, is deeply confused by your revelations. For now, she doesn’t want to speak to you and went to the gardens to try to think this out, bringing you in a lyrical melancholy.

 

>You’re left alone with Luna

“Uh… Is it ok if I go alone in the castle? I feel like walking around too actually”

>”It’s ok, Anon, I understand that you may need to be alone right now

>I’m going to sleep now and… Have a nice day” she says awkwardly just before leaving

>You wander in the halls of the castle for a while

>There is only a few other ponies than the guards but more and more begin to fill the corridors

>Damn, you should have seen this coming

>Things were great with Twilight and it’s pretty much ruined now

>But there was no way around this, you had to tell them the truth, because they deserved it

>Man, these feelings are too complex to be put in mere words

>There is something in the air… you somewhat feel like you could burst out in song and everyone would find this totally appropriate

>Is that how songs begin of the show?

>Apparently yes, because through a window, you can hear Twilight as she start singing in the gardens

>You better get ready for your part

 

(writing a song is hard as shit. I preferred to just alter an already existing song. As a plus, you may imagine it with the original soundtrack)

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIW7d836cq4

 

>Twilight:

>All those days watched from the windows

>All those years outside looking in

>All that time never even knowing

>Just how blind I've been

>Now I'm here, blinking in the daylight

>Now I'm here, unsure what I see

>Standing here, it's no more clear

>What am I meant to be?

 

>For now I still see the light

>But it's like it has been clouded

>For now I still see the light

>But it's like the sky is blurred

>How can I still trust my sight

>Now the world has somehow shifted

>All at once everything looks different

>Now that I see you

 

>Anon:

All those days chasing down a daydream

All those years living in a blur

All that time never truly seeing

Things, how real they were

Now she's here doubting of her own light

Now she's here, no more do I know

How she's here it's so unclear

Where am I meant to go ?

 

>Twilight and Anon:

>For now I still see the light

 

>Anon:

But it's like it has been clouded

>Twilight and Anon:

>For now I still see the light

 

>Twilight:

>But it's like the sky is blurred

 

>Twilight and Anon:

>How can I still trust my sight

>Now the world has somehow shifted

>All at once, everything looks different

>Now that I see you

>Now that I see you

 

>Well, you sung, that was weird, you couldn’t have stopped if you wanted to

>There was clearly music coming from nowhere in addition

>Besides neither Twilight nor anyone else in the hall you’re in seems to have even noticed the act

>Seems like singing have some physics bending ability here

>Or was it dubomancy?

>Anyway, what should we do now?

 

>Guess this can’t helped, your presence will always make her uneasy

>You’d better get out of their life right now, and just hide somewhere you would make anypony sad

>You decide to ask Luna for the book you were promised but you remember she went to bed

>You come back where you had breakfast only to find the room empty and the table cleared

>As you were searching for a note or something for you, you hear the door opening

>”You’re still here, Anon?” Ask Celestia in a soft tone

“I had a little walk but I don’t really know the place so I just ended coming back here

So, may I have these books you were talking about”

>”Of course Anon, follow me to the library”

>As soon as you arrive you are given two books “Equestrian laws” and “How to shine in society”

>”This is not really an official recording of our customs, but if you follow its advice, you’ll be a faultless gentleman”

>You stare at the books for a while

“You know, I think I should just go out of everypony’s life, I just seem to make them uneasy when they see me around

Furthermore, you were right, I did hurt Twilight in the end

Hey, how about you make me the ambassador of humanity in Equestria?

You could give me a little piece of land somewhere so nopony will have to care about me except for the occasional diplomacy meeting

>“What are you talking about Anon? You can’t be serious about this!

“But I’m only trouble for all of you”

>”Exactly, you’re a lot of trouble, that’s why neither Twilight nor me and my sister will stop caring about at least until your problem is resolved”

“The only leads we have on my past is an over 1000-years old books and sex dreams!”

>”I have my duties to carry out but I’m sure Twilight will come here in a moment to get everything she can from that book”

>Without warning, the white mare hugged you, feels pretty nice, not as much as a kiwi butt still…

>”Don’t lose hope Anon, you want to go back to your world, don’t you?

>Just have faith in us, especially in Twilight

>She hasn’t every failed me, she won’t fail you”

>She drops the hug, and ponder for a second

>” Anon, I’m actually giving you the title of Equestrian ambassador of humanity

>But this doesn’t mean you’ll be alone in a distant land

>In fact I order you to spend the day in Canterlot in order for you to understand pony society

>You’ll make your report a 6 p.m., understood?”

“Uh… Yeah?”

>”Good” she proceeds to write something,put her seal on it then gives it to

>Holy S… ! It an actual acknowledgment of your position! It certifies you’re a real equestrian politician

>It is also mentioned the crown will cover each and every of your expenses

“Infinite… Booze…”

>”What did you say, Anon?”

”Uh nothing! Well I better go then, see ya!”

 

 >Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), kiwi, “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Royal appointment

 

Stealh roll :

 

>You decide to first observe the pony folks, you ask some random pony dude far a large cardboard, pencils, tape, paper and scissors

>You combine all these to make a customs cardboard disguise

>It’s like a cardboard but it has a sketched pony head taped to it

>Once you’re out of the castle, you decide to put it to the test

>It must be damn well made because nopony bothered to care about you right now

>The things you’re hearing and seeing are quite boring though

>Ponies talking about their new manecut, little business or silly gossips about some random

>You find shops shat sells almost everything but nothing out of the ordinary

>You decide to hit the nearest pub in order to acquire more informations

>You find something rather quickly, but it’s almost empty, safe from a few ponies drinking coffee or reading the newspaper

>Its clean and all, but not classy, you could easily imagine a lot of drunkard ending their evening here

>You go to the bar

“Hello there, would you mind giving your finest drink, bartender”

>The old brown bearded pony notice you and give you a strange look

>You’re pretty sure it’s the” da’fuck are you doing dude” look

>”I serve a lot of people, but not cardboards, how about you drop your act so I can see your face, sir”

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), kiwi, “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Royal appointment

 

 

“Just one last thing, princess, I feel like I won’t be able to blend in efficiently looking like that

Could you please make me look like a pony? It would make it a lot easier for me to blend in with other people”

>”But you’re the ambassador of humanity, what’s the point if you’re not doing it as a human?”

“I get that but, I think I should just watch how things works between ponies at first

I’m afraid they won’t act natural if they have to deal with a unknown green guy

Understanding your way will come if I’m treated like anypony else”

>She ponders for a moment

>”That make sense, let’s start with something

 

“AND WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN, SIR!!!!”

>”You know damn right what I mean, respectable people don’t hide in a box

>You could be a manticorus, I would still serve you if you behave right”

“Well it happens I’m the first human in Equestria and princess Celestia herself asked me to interact with ponies in Caterlot

Humans bodies have no corporeal from so we need to use our clothes as skin

here is the proof”

>You hand him the paper, he look quite amazed at first and give it back to you along with a bottle of what seems to be cheery liquor

>”Well sorry about, that, Sir, everything is in order”

“When I think I even went to the trouble of having this tiny pony form on me so you would accept me easier”

>”I couldn’t gave known, I must say you’re quite the unusual folk, I mean, from a pony’s point of view

>How do you even drink?”

 

>”Wow, first of my species you've ever seen and the first question is about my mouth”

>”Well, that’s the first thing that popped in my mind since I was giving you a drink”

”Well THIS is how I do it”

>You take the bottle inside the box, making sure not an inch of your skin is seen

>You proceed taste what the guy sold you, It’s actually nice shit you got there

>It’s quite strong, but you can steel feel delicate aromas of fruits and nuts over the flavour of cheery

>The guy stared at you while you were drinking, but it looks like he didn’t figure anything out

“Now if you'll excuse me I can't learn much about pony society for that report to the Princess if everyone is staring and asking questions about me”

>You proudly take your leave

>As much as moving under a cardboard is allowing you to

>”Sir! If you want to learn about ponies, you should go to the tourist office

>They have all the addresses for everything there is to see in Canterlot

>Shows, parties, museums, popular shops…You might get informations on where you want to go next

>Have a nice day”

“Have a nice day too, sir”

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), kiwi, “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Royal appointment, cherry liquor

 

>You know what? Since you already opened that bottle it would be a waste not to drink it all right away

>And you successfully do it

>Woah… this shit is hitting on your head faster than expected you feel really dizzy all of a sudden

>You have to sit down for a moment or else you’re going to collapse

>As you recover you think about the ponies you’ve met so far

>Every single of them ended up being quite nice with you

>Even Celestia, who looked like she would throw you in the dungeon at any moment at first

>Now she even trust you with the money of the kingdom

>But there is only one pony that never doubted you even at the beginning

>Luna

>Even when you first met she offered you a honest proposition, she was always fair with you

>Even when seeing your strangest fantasies, she told you it was alright

>Could it be that she… has a thing for you?

>That makes sense! The way she reacted when describing your dream

>How she didn’t get mad when you used that kiwi

>And now that you think of it, you didn’t see her watching from a corner in your sex dream

>Because she WAS ACTUALLY NIGHTMARE MOON !!! HOLY SHIT !!! THIS MAKES PERFECT SENSE !!!

>You realise she probably wants you right now in her bed

>You stand up, revealing yourself, moonbutt’s kiwi needs no hiding

>You go straight for the castle, no time to waste

>You feel like some god up there gave you the power to GET everything you desire

>Nevertheless at the entry two guards call for you

>They know who you are, but apparently you’re acting weird, they’d like to check on you before you enter

“I AM THE EMBASSADOR OF HUMANITY AND CELESTIA ORDERD ME TO BOND WITH PONIES

ANYONE TRYING TO SLOW ME DOWN IS MY ENEMY”

>You catch the foolish guard with your hand and throw him 30 feet away, causing the nearby ponies to scream and flee in fear

>The second one dropped his jaw as this sight but quickly recovers

>He attempts to trap you is some sort of magic sphere

>How foolish

>You pass through the bubble as if it was made of soap

>The unicorn fall on his butt and begin to beg for mercy

>He’s lucky you don’t have time to take out the trash right now

>As you approach the castle, you notice a dozen guards in front of the main doors, this will take at least 10 seconds to clear

>But you know what? Doors are for chumps

>With one powerful jump, you arrive at the top of the tower where Luna’s chamber is

>Using your godly grasp, you tear a hole in the wall revealing the mare you came for

>Looks like you woke her up with a start

>”Anon? What are you doing here how did you even…?”

>You walk toward her, she’s not trying to run, because she know what’s up next

>You pull out the kiwi out of your pocket and present it to her

>I CAME HERE TO GIVE THE MOONBUTT ITS DUE

>At that precise moment

>…

>You succumb to the unfathomable booze snooze

>…

>…

>You wake up

>In a dungeon cell

>There is strange patterns on the ground and the walls are in some sort of crystal

>You aren’t tied tough

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: suit, “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”

 

“Anybody there?”

>Nothing

>You decide to read the book about laws and check the chapter about attempted rape and attacking government institutions

>Judging by what you read, you could spend at least 20 years in prison for each of these crimes

>Oh god, you think you’re about to throw up

>You do throw up

>Damn… You’re miserable, it doesn’t look like you can save your ass in this situation

>You begin to cry in a corner of the room

>”Well, you’re awake, I see”

>You look at the door to see a large earth pony guard behind the door

“Please, I need to send a message to Celestia, just give me something to write”

>”That shouldn’t be a problem, you’ll be in a harmony trial in a few hours after all”

“A what?”

>”Uh…check that book, it should explain it better that I would

>I’m going to bring some paper and a pen along with your dinner

“Dinner?”

>”Yep, you’ve been in a coma the whole day, you must be starving”

>The guard leaves

>You research the book for this harmony trial thing

>It appears this is a trial dedicated to respond to the actions of highly powerful and dangerous beings

>The goal is to come up with an appropriate way to supress any threat this being could cause

>It is judged be the ruler of Equestria and any number of advisors he wants

>It has two parts: the might trial and the will trial

>The first one aims at pinpointing the damage that could cause the power of the defendant if fully unleashed

>And to come up with an appropriate solution to supress this threat

>It usually involves sealing the power of the defendant, if not banishing him out of Equestria

>…

>The second part will determine if the defendant will use his power for destruction or not

>If the defendant can prove himself to be stable enough not to cause trouble, the measures taken on his power may be eased

>If he’s not, the solution decided in the might trial will be directly applied

>The goal of this trial is not to prove guilt, but to avoid letting any destructive power unattended in Equestria

>This looks really bad for a power based on random digits

>After a while, the guard come back with some food, sheets and a pen

>”Ok, dude just write down the message, just remember your trial is in two hours”

>Well, what exactly are you going to write?

 

>Health: god-tier headache

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: suit, “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”

 

>Dear Princess Celestia,

>I am writing this as a warning not as a threat. The power of Dubsomancy is not one to be trifled with haphazardly.

>You are most likely aware of how easily a quint level food allowed me to infiltrate the castle and I am unaware if the powers can be sealed at all.

 

>Sincerely, Anonymous

 

>You can’t think of anything else to write

>You will have to wait for the trial to see how it goes

>The guard leaves with the letter, you eat what he left you in silence

>Roughly two hours later, four guards come back

>They put some weird looking shackles on you and lead you out of your cell

>It appear you were held beneath the castle

>Soon you arrive at a large room. Inside are waiting lots of people

>Pinkie, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Twilight, Luna, Discord and Celestia

>The ain6 are wearing the elements by the way

>If it weren’t about being condemned, you’d be flattered to have all this ponies gathered here for you

>The tree ponies you haven’t met before seem unsure what to think about you, they are watching you in silence for now

>On the other hand Twilight, Luna and Fluttershy can’t seem to look at you, they’re just staring at the table before them

>Pinkie and Discord give you an awkward smile when you enter and silently wave at you

>Oh wait, Discord’s smile is pretty sincere actually

>Finally, Celestia seems in a very serious mood and there is no trace of mercy as start to speak

>”Anon, you are now under the trial of harmony, I believe you know the rules of this instance

>If anyone here has anything to ask or to say before we commence, do it now”

 

>Health: handcuffed

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: suit

 

"I have one thing to say, I'm sorry for my actions

You see when we humans drink a lot of alcohol we don't think straight and we also go crazy"

>…

>”Is that all Anon?” respond Celestia

>…

>”Then, we shall proceed”

>Then Celestia begin to talk about everything they know about you so far

>They only talk about facts right now: first your appearance in Ponyville, how you met Twilight and Fluttershy then Pinkie

>Your first evening at Fluttershy’s is told, especially how strange you acted after that shower

>You can see Fluttershy sink behind her table, when this is mentioned

>Then is your trip in Canterlot, along with the dancing of the arrival followed by your day in the library

>The events of the night and their conclusion are also mentioned, safe from everything regarding fruits

>When the discussion you had about them being fictional characters comes up, you can feel the mood tensing a little

>All of the main 6 start to cringe at the mention of you witnessing lots of event they believe were private

>Finally, this morning’s incident is told in detail, sounds like they got the testimonies from the guards and even the bartender

>Nevertheless, when it comes to the moment when you entered Luna’s room, it is said you collapsed just after breaking the wall without a word

>A heavy silence fill the room

>”Anon, In the letter you sent me, you called this power “Dubsomancy”,

>Could you please tell us what exactly is it?

>We couldn’t find it mentioned anywhere in all the books we’ve checked so far”

 

>Health: handcuffed

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: suit

 

 

“Well, it’s very difficult to explain, let’s just say that sometimes I feel impulses that give me the power to realize my thoughts

It happens at random, and once it has begun there is no stopping it, even its power varies from a time to another”

>”Well that’s not very enlightening… What kind of power make randomly you as strong as a dragon like that?

>Can’t you be a little more precise?”

>You take a little time to think about what you’re going to say

>After a moment you come up with a fugging great explanation of your power, which is exactly the this Anon wrote:

"I suspect that you all have, at one time or another, been inspired to greatness. Your imagination allows you to overcome the mediocre and achieve greatness. I also suspect that you all have, at one time, found yourself thinking of a rediculous idea with no chance of success. Your imagination allows you to see the foolishness of your idea and prevent failure. I, however, have something else besides that imagination. I have Dubsnomantic Powers. Every time I come up with an idea or allow my thoughts to wonder it is if a dice is thrown. Then another. Then another, and another, and another. Usually these numbers are random and chaotic. But sometimes, sometimes, those numbers match. When they do I am filled with the power to accomplish either my greatest or most shameful thoughts. I can not choose when these alignments occur or what idea I have is granted this power. The events of yesterday occurred when 5 of these numbers aligned. It granted me the power to fulfill what my imagination created, to share with the only pony that treated me well from the first time we met, (look at Luna) what I imagined as love. I was wrong, but I was granted the power to make my imagination reality. It was only out of my imaginary love, not out of malice, that this happened. I didn't ask for this, but with great power comes great responsibility. A responsibility I do not have the ability to enforce. If you truly want to guarantee that my chaotic powers will never hurt your people (look to Discord) you will have to kill me. If I were given the power of the greatest dubs I can imagine I fear I might become a god and will not be bound by even your strongest prison. Even your sun and moon could become my plaything. That one in a hundred million chance exists, and it always will."

>It is approved by me, by the dubs god, and it would be shameful for me to paste in this post

>(it’s also a freaking long thing to post)

>Your second explanation seems to astonish the audience. They just silently stare at you for a while

>”Wait, do you mean the effects could be even MORE powerful? asks Twilight

“I’m afraid so, and I feel like the alignment of six digits might soon be upon me…”

>At that statement, all the audience gosh in surprise

>”And you’re sure there is no way to supress this power?”

“If there is one, I don’t know it”

>”Hold on a second” start Pinkie “How are you guys able to live together? I mean, where you come from

>Wouldn’t it be, like, super fantasmachaotic if all humans had this much power to do random things?

>I know if I had, the whole world would have become a giant cake long ago!”

 

>Health: handcuffed

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: suit

 

“In fact, I think it seems these powers started to appear when I entered Equestria”

>”What? Then how do know so much about it?” says Twilight

>”Besides, does that mean you’ve used this kind of power in other occasions?”

“Actually, I did, not to that extent however

How do you remember our first encounter, Twilight”

>”Well, first you started dancing and it was sort of weird, but then you were really nice with me and Fluttershy”

“Nice? Really? Well I think it was actually clumsy if not rude from a stranger”

>”What do you mean”

“Twilight! The mighty element of magic! I am honoured that you extend your hoof to offer me assistance

Twilight, you are an unsinkable light that can handle the most obscured spirit! No trauma could ever erase you from my mind.”

>Everypony cringes at what you say, this really was out of place

>Discord, him, mimics an applause for your performance

“These where the exact words I said just after meeting you, are they really that sweet?”

>”Well, no, but the mood was different, there was… I don’t know, something in the air at that time”

“Exactly, Twilight. There was dubsomancy in the air at that time”

>The shocking revelation let the audience speechless

>”Why did you do that! Does that mean you gained our trust with a stupid spell?

>Do I see you as a friend just because of cheap random magic?”

>She’s on the verge of crying

“I’m sorry Twilight, I just thought this power would only have good or funny outcomes

I only realised recently how much harm it could cause to all of you

But don’t worry though, I think this was the only notable time I influenced you with this power”

>She looks at you, a tear sliding on her cheek

>”It’s so hard to believe in you right now”

>…

>This is bad, no matter how you look at it, even though it felt like the right thing to do

>Suddenly something else occurs to your mind

“Wait! now that I think of it, I might not be the only one having this magic”

>”Who are you thinking about?” asks Celestia

“Pinkie pie”

>“ME?” she squeeks

>“Anon, are you sure of what you’re saying?”

“Actually, it’s just a theory but the more I think about it the more sense it makes to me

Think about all the times Pinkie did actions that were in outright contradiction with the very laws of physics

She’s no unicorn, and yet her actions randomly bend reality to her silly will from times to times

And just like in my case, people around seem to remember it as something normal

Just think about it for a moment, I’m sure each of you can at least think of one time where this happened”

>They ponder for a moment

>By the looks they give to each other you think they all found some event to relate to

>”then how come I didn’t cause some super catastrophe by now?” asks Pinkie

“I… don’t know… Maybe there wasn’t enough repeating digits?

I think the odds for what happened in my case were something like one in a hundred thousands

Or maybe your mind is just less volatile than mine”

>You thought about talking about here making the entire town sing along with her

>But you remember that ponies do not seem to remember when they burst into song spontaneously

>You’re not sure they would even believe you there

>”In the end, what you’re telling us Anon, is that just like Pinkie, you may randomly succeed impossible facts

>but that unlike hers, your actions may have a more sinister goal” Conclude Celestia

>That’s one mean way too present it

>”I think this is enough for the Might trial

>For you who, by a simple misplaced thought, could destroy our castle,

>I require petrification, until we find a way to send you back to your home

>Does anypony here want to oppose this decision?”

>You do, but she made it clear your opinion doesn’t matter now

>Nopony bats an eye, they all seem rather confused if not scared of what is happening

>”Then it’s decided, we can now commence the trial of will”

>She stares at you

>Somehow, there something different in the way she looks at you

>You can see in her eyes… sorrow?

>”Anon, I believe no one here wants you to be a statue for the time you’ll be in Equestria

>So I beg you, prove us that you are not a living timebomb”

 

>Health: handcuffed

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: suit

 

“Just like I said, the odds of me gaining such a power again are very slim”

>”But you still can’t guaranty for sure it won’t happen?”

>…

“You’re right I can’t promise you that”

>”Is there anything else you want to say?”

>”I wish there was, but I can’t lie to you”

>…

>”I’m sorry Anon” mutters Twilight

>”Since Anon courageously admitted for the greater good he couldn’t control his power

>I require the sentence decided during the trial of might to by applied

> Does anypony here want to oppose this decision?

>Silence

>Well, this is it… You only hope you won’t be conscious while you’ll be in that statue

>That would be horrible, being like this unable to do anything. It must be a real torture!

>Maybe they can allow you to put a kiwi in your ass, you’ll be less lonely that way…

>”I do”

 

>Health: handcuffed

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: suit

 

Chapter 10:

 

>Last time, Anon used the almighty power of repeating digits to literally break into Luna’s room in order to show her the superiority of kiwi over other fruits. Nevertheless, this attempt’s fail was written in the stars as well and Anon collapsed before doing anything to the moon princess. In response to his actions, Anon went through a whole trial that aimed at putting our hero’s potential destructive impulses under control. But as his power was proven random and unpredictable, Anon was now going to be turned to stone until a way to send him home is found, but at the last moment…

 

>“I do have something to say”

>At that moment, everybody turns to the person that broke the silence

>”Discord?” slowly says Celestia “What are you going to say NOW”

>”Well, it’s very simple, if this gentleman here is turned in a cinderblock right now…”

>He pauses and start to stretch his back for a while

>”Sorry, it’s just that sitting like that for so long is so painful for my old bones

>May I ask that next time we do this trial thing on beds instead of…”

>”Quit foolin’ around and spit it out”  Barks an annoyed Applejack

>But the whole audience is annoyed, quite naturally

>”The thing is, gentlemares, that in less than a week, something awful will happen to Equestria

>And only him” he points a claw at you “ can save us all from annihilation

>For he is… The grrrreat Hero of Light!”

 >…

>”Twilight, let’s end this before he start mocking us again”

>”Wait! Wait! Wait!” The chaos god pops next to you and give out the weirdest-feeling hug of your life

>”I was serious! I may not have been very convincing but I’m not lying right now

>if you want to take him, you’ll have to get past me!” Suddenly, he take a more sinister tone

>”Because if he can’t protect us, even I will be doomed”

>After that last statement, the mares start to look confused

>”What is this thing that’ll blow up Equestria in one week?” asks Rainbow Dash

>”Worlds begins and worlds ends my blue friend, but not how you would imagine

>Sometimes a little spark creates a whole universe, but on the other side, that’s all it takes to end it

>And I know for sure, that Anon, here, has been send by destiny to prevent this to happen to Equestria”

>”Are you telling us that our world will… disappear in a week? How is that even possible?

>And how would you be aware of this?” asks Celestia

>”Well, you know, I can feel interesting things coming actually, the sort of things I like, random and entertaining

>I usually sense little events everywhere, and very often

>But after next week…”He closes his eyes and when he reopens it, he’s staring at Celestia with a blank expression

>”I feel… nothing”

>”You better not be trying to make a fool of us here!” says Luna

>”You know what? Since, we’re all done for if you don’t believe me, you can banish me or petrify me to your heart’s content if it turned out I lied about anything”

>”How could Anon do anything if neither you nor we couldn’t?”

>”Hu… hu…hu…

>…

>”I have no idea”

>You can feel murderous intent from every pony present directed to Discord

>”I told you how I can sense the little spice in life? Well, I didn’t see THAT guy coming

>But sweet Celestia he’s my hero! I wish I knew him before, there is no way I wouldn’t have seen a guy like going on the stage from really far away!

>But yet I can only sense his feats moments before they happen, and it changes everything around him

>Especially this time

>In the end what I’m saying, is that without him, we’re all going down for sure, but with him”

>He pauses and shrugs, a grin on his face

>”Who knows?”

>…

>”Discord”

>”Yes Twilight, my dear?”

>”Why didn’t you told us sooner?” she says with the most aggressive voice you’ve heard her

>”Don’t be silly Twilight… The shattered truth, the raging emotions, the pain, the tears…

>Only a fool would skip such delightful drama”

>…

>”Discord, Anon, would you mind letting us think about this alone for a moment?

>Just wait behind that door until we call you back please” Says Celestia

>You obey. You are now alone with your… Saviour?

>The is no one else nearby apparently

 

“So? You think I’m going to save the world?”

>”No”

“Wait… What!?”

>”You aren’t going to save the world because the world is not in danger, it’s simple”

>Is this guy serious? After all this shit, it’s just a joke?

”You do realize you told them to banish you if nothing happens”

>”Oh please! They try to act tough with their serious trial for saving Equestria thing

>But deep down, their hearts are made of pure marshmallow

>I’m going to tell you what’s going to happen, green face”

>He put his hairy chin against yours “We, are going to put up a top quality show for our “friends”

>And they will want to believe in it so much, that we would be using cardboard disguises, they wouldn’t mind”

>As he speaks, what he deciphers appear before you, just like a sketched script

>”Now listen, here’s your part: for the following days, you’re going to be a hero in training

>Be creative: find yourself a sword, read more books about magical mumbo jumbo, meditate under a waterfall or whatever

>In three days I’ll make my entry, wearing my costume of doomsday

>I’ll pull a (seemingly) nasty prank on some locals and then I’ll just vanish, so it looks like a warning”

“Won’t they be able to seal you right away with the elements or something?

>”Don’t worry, if we can just have one being… “somewhere else” at that moment it’ll work out

>Then just act like you know where the root of evil dwells and go there

>I’ll be waiting, and after the best sound and light show of history, the new hero of Equestria will be crowned

>That’s the scenario I have in mind, but maybe you’d prefer to share a little eternity stoned with me?”

>…

“Would having a kiwi in your butt make petrification more tolerable?”

>”The first hour maybe, but this would feel like an infinite itch for anytime longer”

 

>Health: handcuffed

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: suit

 

>You think for a while about that plan

>If this goes as expected, you’ll be free of any suspicion and you might even become a hero for the ponies

>But this is Discord we’re taking about, he might want to gain more than a simple distraction from this plot

>But the thing is… You’re going to be turned to stone if you do nothing, and that’s the worst that could happen for you if you’re busted anyway

“Ok, Discord, I’ll go with your plan, but don’t even think of…”

>The guy start to hug you so hard you lose your breath

>”Oh Anon! I KNEW you weren’t one of those boring ponies who don’t get the beauty of a well carried ruse!

“Voice down, they’ll hear us!”

>He releases you “Wops, sorry about that it’s just that persons with taste are so hard to find in this time and place”

>He them proceeds to take of one his ear and present it to you

>”I’ve got an idea: take that so we’ll be able to talk in every situation”

>You give a weird look to the gift and to the giver (who have his second ear back)

>”Don’t worry it’s not as dangerous as you may think, just tell me a word ant I can cast it away anytime

>If you think somepony might come across it, just say…Mmh… “Horseshoes” and I’ll make it vanish”

>You were more disturbed by the fact that it looked like a brown crumpled tissue

>You’ll take that thing for now

“By the way, would you mind giving more of those enchanted pills you gave me the first time we met

But with a more “euphorisan” effect maybe”

>”Well, now is not the time, but if you can bring me any type of drug, I might add these effects you want on them”

>At that moment, the door opens and you hear Celestia calling

>”Please come back” The two of you return in the centre of the room

>”We have decided to believe Discord for now, as a principle of precaution

>Of course, he’ll be heavily punished if it happens he lied”

>”That was the deal indeed” answers Discord

>”Plus, in order to limit the risk caused by Anon and his power, he will be always accompanied

>Of course, everyone in this room will have to remain in the castle during next weak

>I think this is all, we should all go to bed now, the day has been exhausting for everybody”

>You didn’t get the chance to speak with anypony before two guards made you follow them

>They brought you to a decent room with a single bed in it

>They remove the cuffs and give you back what you had on you this morning

>There are candles but no window in that room

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear

 

>Well, you don’t know how late it is but you sure feel worn out

>You read “How to shine in society” before going to sleep

>Rules of good behaviour as far as the eye can see, your nanny could have co-written this book

>You come across various daily policy tips including a whole chapter about sneezing

>Some of them might come in handy later, who knows?

>You also learn that mares love to be complimented on their mane but also on anything regarding their face in general

>On the contrary, the rear is off topic

>Beside that, there is nothing that would make you appear really “heroic” in front of anypony

>But it’ll help you not seem like a douche, which is half of the work

>The book being quite boring overall, this gave you the final blow and you fall asleep minutes after closing it

>…

>You’re in your room

>It’s spring. And one of those day when a mom tell her kids it would be a crime not to go outside

>This is why you opened your window as you were on your computer

>By the way the date is May the 3rd 2012

>You have no idea what you were doing though

 

>Your decide to visit the most colourful place on the web

>Just as you expected, half the board is all about the S2 finale

>Everyone’s giving a piece of opinion: from glee to utter disgust, each position claiming its righteousness over others

>Each side is of course composed of one half of trolls, one half of retards, and one half of retarded trolls

>The only thing going smoothly is the porn production

>You don’t think you’ve ever seen the drawfags so productive before

>You decide to join the raging debate as your read some Anon stating that there is no hope of a better villain for the show

>You also come across some stories asking for your input, you gladly give it

>All this activity is making you a fine afternoon in your opinion, it’s not like you had anything better to do right now

>At some point you see one of those doomsday post about the absolute end of whatever is trendy right now

>But for some reason you feel like you have to read this one

///

>20**

>The autism of the fandom has raised far higher that what the great autism prophet had predicted

>It become a real thing in society, people start to come out as bronies as gay people would do in the 70s

>Of course, everyone think it’s a horrible mental disorder, just like for homosexuality at that time

>Because of the shitstorm, and deciding it’s not worth the money anymore, Hasbro stops the whole mlp line

>Fans across the world scream in pain

>Some think they will die if the show stops as they were defining themselves only by watching it

>With the newest technology, they build a spacetimeship machine to send them to Equestria

>But they don’t know a damn thing about cosmoplanear travel and fuck up the core reactor

>That’s how colourful cartoon horses destroyed the world, guys

///

>…

>You find this incredibly silly

>But nevertheless, the day the ride ends will sure be sad

>And you’re almost sure a group of fuckers will indeed do something that stupid when it’s going to happen

>Because it will happen, that’s for sure

>You lean back on your seat, closing your eye as you feel philosophical

>When you open them, you’re in your bed in Canterlot

>But you still feel philosophical

>Judging by the noises outside, it must be morning already

>Better get dressed, you have no idea what will happen today

>A guard opens the door “Mister Anon, please follow us”

>Flanked by two armoured ponies, you are brought to a room where breakfast awaits you with Celestia, Luna, and all the mane6

>”Good morning Anon, take a seat”

>The coffee is hot, but the greeting is cold

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear

 

[spoiler]post is short cause waited for other suggestions when boss fight came up[/spoiler]

 

 “Good morning everyone” you say as you sit down and start taking a sip of coffee

>Everyone’s eating in silence

>You can see Applejack muttering something to Rainbow dash

“So, I now this isn’t the best day ever but maybe we could… maybe…

Communicate in order to get things moving?”

>The rainbow mare across the table is the first one to take the offer

>”Well Anon, you don’t look like some guy who could save the world, you can’t fly, you can’t magic

>And I bet 50 bits you won’t last a second against Applejack at the ironhoof

>I’ve seen that big hole in the wall, but right now, no offence, but you look kinda wimpy

>And even if you could do it again, that’s nothing we couldn’t do on our own

>What does make you feel so special, greenhead?”

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear

 

Rolls: a bunch of figures, mostly above 10

 

>As a response to these accusations you start to wonder about the sex lives of your hosts

>I mean… Obviously!

>Applejack seem to be rather open with the idea of having fun… with a pony….

>In normal circumstances…and nothing else

>You have no clue about Fluttershy

>Pinkie Pie would surprise even you, but maybe not in the good way

>She may ruin it for you with her antics or make it the best time ever

>But you don’t think she’s the kind to bring up sex on the table herself

>You’ll have to get it started yourself if you want to see the fireworks

>Rainbow dash seems to have a preference for… younger ponies?

>Welp, you’re neither younger nor ponies…

>Rarity seems to be quite the teaser with her partner

>But only with him, and he better be the most delicate and dreamy person in Equestria

>Anyone else testing his luck will face a wall of ice

>”So what, cat’s got your tongue?”

>This blue mare is starting to slightly annoy you

>You pull out the big book and put it on the table

“I may not be the only who needs to read this book”

>You chug the rest of the burning coffee, your eye twitches a second but that’s all

“I’ll just say, that I will use everything that I can have to save Equestria

Because I can do more good than you think, but less than you hope

I am the hero Equestria needs, but not the one it deserves."

>”Hum… At least you know how to talk!

>I’m actually looking forward to see what you’ll show us

>Just don’t let me down, dude”

“Yeah…Right…”

>”What did you say?”

“I said you’re right! I can’t wait to see it happen myself”

>”Please pardon her if she seemed a little rough to you, mister Anon” start Rarity 

>I’m Rarity, but if I got my facts right you already know that, hehe…

>I’m sure we can get along well in the upcoming week, isn’t it?

>I just wanted you to know that if you need anything from me, feel free to ask”

>The offer is nice but the smile in forced as hell

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear

 

>You think for a moment

>If they’re willing to help you, you better ask for all you can get

“I’ll take you on the word Rarity, there is something I’d like you to make me

Actually, I’d like to have something from each of you here

I know this might sound blunt or even selfish, but I’m going to ask you all to help me this week

Because right now, I can’t do anything, I’ve got the will don’t doubt it but my skills are insufficient to accomplish anything

But I believe that with your help I will definitely become a hero before it’s too late

I’m going to need some stuff, this suit is nice, but not fitted for my task

Rarity, I’d like you to make me some gear, I’ll describe it to you later

I was never keen on sports when I was younger, but now is the time to redeem myself

Applejack, Rainbow Dash, I’d like you to train my strength and dexterity

Another important aspect will be my self-control, I must remain the only master of myself

Fluttershy, I’d like you to teach me your ways of meditation

Unfortunately, judging by the few we know, strength alone isn’t going to be enough

Twilight, I’d like you to find some way to identify what we’re against and how to fight it

And finally, in order to make sure we’re always expecting something at the end

Pinkie, I’d like you to prepare the best post world saving party Equestria has ever seen”

>”Aye-aye Anon Sir, THAT’s something your can leave to me for sure

>Believe me… After that night we won’t even remember what you did

>For this party will be truly… LEGENDARY”

>Before her intervention, the other ponies seemed unsure about how to answer your requests

>But It looks like seeing their pink friend so enthusiastic about lending you a hoof made them make their mind

>”Well, Ah’ guess we just have to bet it all on you” says Applejack

>”You raised the stakes dudes, I like that!” adds Rainbow dash

“Thank you all, really I will need all the help I can find In order to overcome the enemy

>You look straight at the two Princess

“And myself”

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear

 

Chapter 11:

 

>Last time, Anon decided to team up with Discord in his plan to make him the hero of Equestria: in three days, the god of Chaos will fake an attack on Canterlot, and will then allow him to play it like he can defeat the threat. To make it more believable for everypony, Anon has just asked the help of everyone to prepare himself for the upcoming challenges and they seemed benevolent in doing so, the first day of his training will now begin…

 

“You got it Rarity? That’s what a real hero outfit must look like”

>You hand her the poorly drawing of Link’s outfit you made

>”Mmmh… Well, I guess green is your colour anon, I should be able to make something glorious out of it

>But I’ll take some liberties regarding your idea if you don’t mind

>Also, I’m going to work with the castle’s smith so it will provide some acceptable protection as well”

>As soon as you’ve thanked the white mare for her help, she leaves to start her work

>”Hey, Anon!”

Applejack and Rainbow Dash come your way

“So, are you ready for some exercise?” start RD

“Since we don’t really know you,” says Applejack “A’ think we could use this morning to see what you can do

Because you know, if you’re gonna save the day, I’d like to know if we can count on you physically speaking

We have a few activities in mind that will train you this morning

But if you have something specific you’d like to do, just tell us”

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear

 

[spoiler]Somehow, knowing that strangers are glad to see you feels nice. I’m glad to see you too, guys[/spoiler]

 

“I don’t know, just give me what you’ve got”

>You follow the two mares in the gardens

>They lead you to some remote place, where the plants are less kept

>There is a bunch of trees and vines are growing on this side of the buildings

>”Ok, Anon we’re going to have our shot here”

>As the three of you start to warm up, you can notice that Applejack is stupidly strong considering her size

>She easily moved  rocks bigger that what you may be able to push

>”Well, now we’re ready, how about you start by climbing that wall”

>A wild one-mare orchestra Pinkie appears

>She indicates a wall covered in wine and you’ve got about 10m to climb for a safe spot

>”Don’t worry, Anon, I’ll cheer on you!”

>She start playing the Rocky theme (orchestral only, nevertheless)

>How does she knows it? You don’t want to know…

>You go for it but in the middle of the ascension, you trip and fall hard on the ground

>”Wow! You ok Anon?” asks a worried Applejack

>You’re a bit dazed but you seems fine

>”Man, he do is a wimp…” you can hear RD mutter to herself above you

>Pinkie’s still playing, harder actually, and she’s giving you the “Get up, man!” look

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear

 

>A stupid wall won’t stop you!

>You get up with the eye of the tiger and go for that climb again

>This time, you get to the top in about 20 seconds

>”Woohoo!” says Pinkie “You did it!”

>”Well, looks like you just need some time to gear up Anon!” says Applejack

>”Meh… I could have got here faster” says the flying mare

>”Ok Anon, climb down we’ll move to something else”

>(The rest of the morning will be generic physical exercise with Pinkie, Rainbow and Applejack)

>(Unless you want to do specific actions, the next choice will be around noon time)

>(Just state how Anon is taking the training: seriously, slacking off, trying to talk more with X…)

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear

 

>You give your best shot in every kind or exercise you were given

>There wasn’t anything really hard, but more like tiring

>It was about the same kind of morning you would have spent in a gym

>Well, you suppose so… since you never went in one of those place

>By the way, you take note to never give a cent to these muscle jews hideout

>You can make your training in a park, that works really fine

>Around noon, you take a break as Pinkie fetched you all some food

>”Anon?” start Applejack

“Yeah?”

>”I don’t want to be mean or something but…

>Well, you’re nothing special in any field actually

>I mean, you can’t fly, you can’t do magic, or at least not at will

>And you’re neither as strong nor as tough or fast as an earth pony

(She has four legs, she cheated during that race!)

>But you know, I was just thinking, maybe you should try a weapon

>From what I’ve seen, I’d say you’re even more agile with your hands than a unicorn is with telekinesis

“I was going to talk about that too, I’d like to drop by the smith to get one”

>”It’s settled then, maybe we can get some guards to train with you…”

>After a meal rich in sugar, you get to the forge

>It’s nice to feel the heat of the red-hot metal

>Rarity, who’s covered in sweat as she’s sewing green fabric to a ring mail, doesn’t seem to agree

>You can also see a big male unicorn working near a fire

>Some blades are already made, you would just have to make a custom handle to wield it properly

>That would only take an hour

 

>Health: fine (tired)

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear

 

Smithing roll:

>You decide to make your own Mastersword so you’ll have to whole Link set

>If you’re making it yourself, it’ll take the whole afternoon

>But suddenly you think at something, you engage conversation with the unicorn guy

“Hello, I’m Anon, would you mind if I used this place to craft myself a sword?”

>”Well, If you’re skilled I have no reason to stop you, make yourself at home”

“And, actually… I’d like to have something more, is it possible to have a weapon enchanted”

>”Mmh… It depends of what you want to do with it

>Tell me what you have in mind and I’ll try to come up with something

>Don’t worry about my feesby the way, the whole castle know what’s going on with you

>I’d be glad if I could be of any use”

 

>Health: fine (tired)

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear

 

“It needs to fire lasers when I swing it while in tip top condition”

>” Why this condition?

>But anyway, this has already been tested and the problem was we never found a way to make the rail aim correctly at the time of a sword swing

>I could make you a spear maybe?”

“No, it has to be a sword

Can you make it atom-thick so it can cut anything”

>He blinks slowly

>”Uh… How big is this atom thing you’re talking about?”

“Nah, forget it, can you make it so it can set enemies ablaze?”

>The guy cracks a smile

>”A fire sword? This I can do, Just wait a little so I can get the components

>You can help me for the work right?”

“Sure”

>He left the room

>”If I get this right, you’re going to stay here for the afternoon right?” says Applejack

>”We’re going to have a word with the guard to see if they can train you”

>As soon as he returns, you start doing the job with the unicorn

>Basically, you’re wielding the hammer while he uses some shining dust on the blade at a precise timing

>After 4 hours of work the sword is complete

>It looks just like what you wanted, and there are red reflections on the blade when it’s exposed to light

>As a bonus, you have a bracelet that can attract the sword to your hand when it’s near

>You also notice that Rarity has been working really hard too

>The tunic and the hat are finished, Only the pants, boots and gloves are missing

>The hero of Hyrule has never been so fashionable, instead of the regular plain green, Rarity added some Artwork in golden thread

>Camouflage is screwed, but you’re going to be one fabulous swordsman

>She looks out of breath, and you are pretty exhausted yourself

 

>Health: fine (exhausted)

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear, Mastersword

 

>You come closer to Rarity

“Wow! This is awesome, thank a lot Rarity!”

>”Well, the conditions weren’t the best for me to work since I’m not used to deal with metal,

>But I’m quite happy I could pull out something satisfying in the end”

“Satisfying? You can’t even say that anymore since you overcame all my expectation

Seriously, I never imagined I would have something that magnificent to wear in my quest”

>”Hahaha! You’re a sweet tongue aren’t you Anon? Anyway it pleases me a lot that you appreciate

>Since I didn’t know your tastes I thought you might not like it”

“Well, this is a good time for you to be wrong, thanks again, but I think I’m going to hit the bed

The day has been quite busy”

>”I think I’ll be doing the same, a forge is a horrible place to work in!”

”Once you get used, it’s not that harsh anymore”

>The two of you go find some food as you tell her more about smithing while she compares it with tailoring

>you don’t really remember where you learn it, but the knowledge is intact

>You arrive at your room, it’s still guarded by two armoured ponies

>As you were going to sleep you hear someone knocking at the door

>It’s Twilight, you hear her through the door

>”Anon, you still awake? Can you come with me please, I’d like to talk to you alone”

 

>Health: fine (exhausted)

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear, Mastersword

 

”Okay but make it quick, the day was really tiring for me”

>You follow her, she‘s heading for the library

>”I’ve heard that you’ve been exercising and smithing all day right?

>Well on my side, I continued to work on that book with the humans in it

>And… It just doesn’t make sense at all… I just can’t figure out the meaning of what is said in this book

>I just don’t know what to do with it, now I understand with Starswirl lost interest despite this being such an old volume

>That’s why I called you, I haven’t told anyone about what I translated the two last days

>I’d like to have your opinion on the question

>I hope that it might help me to make so sense out of this book”

>As you arrive at your destination, you can assume by the height of the pile of books near the desk that Twilight hasn’t been slacking off

>”Have a sit, so you remember I told you this was about the creation of Equestria?”

“Yeah”

>”Well actually, it doesn’t only go for one but four creations of Equestria!”

>You raise an eyebrow

>”Besides the way it’s told is really strange, it’s not chronological at all

>It just describes the world at a stand point, as if it was created with all the persons and creatures and places in a blink

>Another thing is that the four Equestrias mentioned are all slightly different, but very similar nonetheless

>But there is also something I only discovered this afternoon and it really creeps me out Anon

>It’s about the fourth time the creation of Equestria is mentioned

>Starswirl couldn’t have spotted that, because… It hadn’t happened yet

>The fourth creation describe our Equestria the way it was when I first came to Ponyville

>There is my name and the ones of all my friends in that book, Anon…”

 

>Health: fine (exhausted)

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear, Mastersword

 

(Your knowledge of the mlp universe includes former generations)

“Twilight, you remember when I told you about the show of which you were the heroine?”

>“Yes?”

“This wasn’t the first time a show was made about ponies in Equestria

It was the fourth time actually, each time was a little different as the people making it weren’t the same”

She shivers at your statement

>“Does that mean these other Equestirias exist as well?”

“I have no idea, actually”

>A heavy silence is filling the room, you can see that Twilight is… trembling?

”Twilight?”

>Her voice is shaking, and she’s holding herself like if she was in deep cold

>”This is absurd, nothing can be sent in the past for good, and even if somepony found a way,

>It doesn’t explain the other worlds that are told here!

>This is beyond me, beyond logic and causality itself, this shouldn’t exist!

>What is this supposed to mean? This is the work of gods! I can’t deal with this anymore!”

>Whoa, she’s losing it…

 

>Health: fine (exhausted)

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear, Mastersword

 

"There could be 4 different versions of Equestria in different dimensions

And this book is a summary of those worlds, relative to where I'm from."

>”Where you’re from? Do you mean the four shows?”

“Yes that’s what I’m talking about”

>”Wait, could it be that the last aired 23 years after the first one?”

“Uhn… Yeah I think that’s the right count”

>”This book… I think it belongs to your world Anon

>The creations were dated from year 1987 to 2010, it didn’t make any sense to me

>But this is from your calendar right?”

“Yeah”

>Once again a heavy silence fills the room

>”This is not a coincidence Anon,

>Since what it describes is accurate to what you know, it is likely true

>This book has been here for centuries, humans have had their hand in Equestria since the beginning”

>She stares at you, suddenly her eyes become angry, if not threatening

>”Who are you, Anon!? Why are you here!?”

>Before you can respond, she jumps on you

>Taken by surprise, you fall on the ground with the purple unicorn on you

>You can see a purple brilliance around your wrists and knees as you’re magically held on the ground

>”What have sent you here, for what purpose?

>Are you here by accident? To bring salvation to Equestia?

>Or could it be, you’re the one that came to destroy it!

>You humans seem to see us as an entertaining bunch of toys

>Maybe you’re here to clear the path for the next Equestria your kind will imagine?”

>You couldn’t have imagined a purple little unicorn scaring you

>But the magical force pinning you on the ground adds a lot to the performance

 

>Health: fine (exhausted)(stuck)

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear, Mastersword

 

“I’ve already told you Twilight, I have no idea how I got here, let alone the reason

But I assure you I have no intention of destroying this land!”

>”I’ve already heard that song, Anon, If I wanted to hear it again I’d have sung it myself”

“I’m telling you, there is no way I could create a new Equestria, I would never have such a power!”

>”Really? You describe yourself as a regular dude but the second after you become a bewitching seducer or a wrathful besieger!

>And that just happens at random without you controlling anything!”

“Please calm down Twilight, you’re assuming a lot of things

It’s true that the previous generation are no longer aired, but how does that mean they no longer exists?

Equestria, you said it yourself, existed way before what the humans were watching it

There is no reason it would not continue after!”

>Looks like that last argument hit, you can see her trying to catch her breath

>Before falling on you, crying like a filly

>”Anon, I’m so scared, this is horrible!

>There other time me and my friend had to protect our kingdom, t least we knew what we were up against

>But this time, we don’t even know what’s going on!

>How can we hope to face something that we don’t even know what it will be?

>The only thing we have is Discord lousy predictions, and you…”

>The looks in your eyes, hers swelled with tears

>”You’re a living mystery, you know nothing you should, and everything you shouldn’t

>I wish you didn’t come here, things would not be so complicated, I… I didn’t had to learn all this

>I makes me feel like the world around me is not real anymore, It’s like I’m having a bad dream

>I’m so scared…”

>She buries her head in your clothes and start sobbing

>You’re held no more by the way

 

>Health: fine (exhausted)

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear, Mastersword

 

>You decide to hug her

>As soon as you start she grabs you back with all of her unicorn strength

>It feels warm and soft to have her hug you, but a little awkward nonetheless

>It lasts for five goods minutes before Twilight finally stop crying

>”I’m sorry Anon, this not your fault… I just… don’t know what to do right now”

“Don’t worry Twilight, everything will be alright

Right now I’m holding you, I can feel you between my arms, that’s real enough for me

If that doesn’t suffice to you, a wise man once said “I think, therefore I am”  for we are necessary real to be able to create thoughts”

>”Thank you Anon, I think I feel a little better thanks to you”

>She stands up and move away from your body

>She’s still trembling a little, her eyes are red, but she’s giving you a gentle smile

>”You wanted to go to bed I think, It took more time that what you expected, sorry…”

“I think we should both have a good night of rest”

>You accompany her to her room

>”Good night Anon, and… sorry…”

>She closes the door

 

>Health: fine (exhausted)

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear, Mastersword

 

>You just go back to your room, your bed has been calling you for way too long

>As you arrive the guard seems a little wary of you

>”Hey, you’re not supposed to wander alone in the castle, what happened?”

>Oh… You remember that

”Don’t worry, I was just with Twilight but I brought her to her room”

>”Mmmh… It’s ok for tonight, but next time find a guard to escort you

>I’ll spread the word to everypony that you mustn’t be left unattended

>Orders from Celestia”

“Thanks for your concern, just let me go to bed please”

>”I see no problem with that, good night mister Anon”

>You enter your room, take off your clothes, and fall asleep in less than 30 seconds

 

>Health: ???

>Mental: ???

>Inventory: ???

 

Chapter 12:

>Last time, after a day of training and smithing a magic sword, Anon wanted nothing more than a good night of sleep. But Twilight Sparkle decided otherwise as she revealed our hero her astonishing discoveries about the mysterious book. It seemed that humans had been in touch with Equestria, or more accurately, Equestrias since their beginning. After Twilight let go of her inner turmoil on Anon, he managed to calm and reassure her for the time being and thus he finally earned his well-deserved rest

 

>You wake up in your bed

>But it seems like your bed is not at the same place anymore

>Your bed is in a big circular room, bathed in sunlight

>The whole thing is built in white stone, it feels like an old temple or something like that

>But the place is perfectly conserved, there isn’t even some dust on the ground

>The whole place is decorated with mosaics and carvings representing geometrical figures

>There is one door that may lead outside and a big statue of a pony in the center of the room

>Something is not right, you can feel it

>You don’t have your belongings right now, and you’re in your suit

>You might be dreaming, but this doesn’t feel like a dream at all

>You have not a clue about where you are or what you’re supposed to do

 

>Health: fine?

>Mental: fine?

>Inventory: suit?

 

http://pastebin.com/FhRCtjdJ

 

>Let’s find out if it’s a dream or not!

>You remove your pants and take a shit on the floor

>Shit went down and felt just like if you were awake, odd…

>Fortunately, thanks to your vegetarian diet of last days, it doesn’t reeks to much

>Well, You feel a little lighter…

>Out of boredom you decide to masturbate

>The church-like mood is not the best turn on you could dream of

>You manage to conclude but it’s far from the best fap you may have had

>Since nothing is happening, you explore your surroundings

>The room you’re in is circular, and must be about 50 meters wide, with large windows all around

>Through them, you can see you are in a very high place, you can see barren hills and mountains further away

>The door is really big, you can see though the window it leads to large stairs that go to the ground

>The statue… You can’t find out anything but when your near it feels like its watching you

>It represent a hooded earth pony, the statue is on a small circular pedestal and is about the size of an average pony

 

>Health: fine?

>Mental: fine?

>Inventory: suit?

 

>You wave your dick in front of the statue

>You feel like you’re waving your dick in front of a statue… WHO’S WATCHING YOU WAVING YOUR DICK IN FRONT OF A STATUE

>As you’re annoyed you begin to molest the statue, you try to put your limb in various places, climb on it, ect, ect…

>But molesting a marble statue is not very interesting, and it doesn’t seems to bother the inanimate object

>You try to damage it with a mighty thrust using your hip muscles

 >But you end up damaging yourself as the statue is stuck on the pedestal and is way harder than your boner

>The statue answers to your acts with the same faceless expression he has from the beginning

>It looks like some generic pony, there is no cutie mark visible and his face shows a neutral expression

>You still feel weird, but there wasn’t any reaction for everything you’ve tried so far

 

>Health: broken boner?

>Mental: fine?

>Inventory: suit?

 

>You sing lewd folk-songs to the statue, it doesn’t give a shit

"May you please tell us where we are?"

>”You are in the tower of binding”

>You immediately get an answer, it does come from the stone pony but the statue doesn’t move an inch

>It sounds like one of those computer-synthetized voice, plain and emotionless

>You were going to go somewhere else but you might want to dig this a little further

 

“Where should I go?”

>”Please state a purpose”

“Who exactly are you?”

>”I was created and put here to inform users”

“Why do I feel like someone is watching me”

>”I am currently monitoring and recording what you have been doing since your arrival”

As you keep talking with the statue, you start to hear someone calling you from the distance…

 

>Health: broken boner?

>Mental: fine?

>Inventory: suit?

 

>You try to look for the voice

>No matter where you are you hear it in front of you

>It’s becoming more and more clear

>It’s Twilight voice, she’s calling you with a panicked voice

>You go back to the statue

"Why am I here exactly? I woke up here."

>"You’re not physically here, only your conscientiousness, It was brought here because you’re a potential user”

“What do you do with those recordings and how do I request they be destroyed?”

>”They’re stocked in the archive. You can manually delete them if you access the terminal”

“How did I get here?”

>”Your conscientiousness is bound to the tower, it will be brought here eventually”

“How do I leave here?”

>”By the door”

“Why do hot dogs come in packages of eight and hotdog buns come in packages of six?”

>”Initializing google search please wait…

>Historically, buns have been sold in packages of six or 12 because bakers deal in dozens

>While hot dogs vendors deal in pounds, with eight franks to a pound”

>As your soul is enlightened, your surrounding begin to blur as you can hear Twilight voice more clearly

 

>Health: broken boner?

>Mental: fine?

>Inventory: suit?

 

“How do I access the terminal?”

>”If you come here physically, you’ll be given access to the terminal”

“Ok, thanks for the tips Sam!”

>You kiss the statue goodbye

>After that last thing you rush to the door

>Behind it are endless stairs that covers the good 300m you must be from the ground

>But when you step outside, instead of a long descent, you immediately feel the world flipping

>Just a second later, you see the purple princess holding you, Applejack and Rarity watching

>”Anon, you OK? What happened?

>When the guards tried to wake you up, you would not move at all

>They called us, we were worried! It looked like you fell into a coma!”

>The three of them are giving you a worried eye

>As a side note, you notice that your unique hot dog is all right

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear, Mastersword

 

>You decide to tell them about your experience but keep it SFW

“So does that Tower of the binding thing ring a bell to you, Twilight?”

>”I wish it did, but it’s the first time I’ve heard this

>But that’s another lead about you I think

>That robot pony told you were bound to it so it may be connected to your past

>I’m going to search in the library about that topic”

“Aren’t you tired of browsing books?”

>”As long as they don’t hold too much troubling information it’s ok…”

>Applejack and Rarity glance at each other as they don’t seem to know what you’re talking about

>Nevertheless that’s the moment Applejack chose to jump in the conversation

>”So, Anon if you’re feeling well, I managed to get a few guards for you to test your sword skills

>And I think Rarity wanted to take some measurements for your gear, you’re up for it?”

You feel more like reading right now, but this could be interesting too

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear, Mastersword

 

Chapter 12:

 

>”Exactly, I’m curious to see what you can do with this hands of yours” said a guard that seemed to be accompanying Applejack

“Be ready for a show, bro, I’m not going to go easy on you!”

>You pat the dude’s back in a friendly manner

>But you notice that even if the earth pony looks tough, his fur is quite soft actually

>You begin to stroke the guard’s back as you feel an irresistible urge to pet him

>”Umh… Mister? What are you doing?”

>Instead of stopping, you begin to scratch to spot that looked the more receptive

>”Can you please staaaaaaaaawww man I forgot these armours were so uncomfortable” he says with glee in his eyes

“There there, aren’t we feeling better now”

>As you continue to pet the big sugarcube

>”Damn, I wish I had fingers now! Just a little left” you compel “That’s the spot woaaah… thanks man…”

>The mares are exchanging interrogative looks

>This seen was totally homo-free

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (2), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear, Mastersword

“Hey applejack, I need more apples!”

>”I guess I could get you some, but you should take a real breakfast, today’s going to be a busy day

>Come with us ok”

>The three mares and you head for the breakfast room

>That’s the perfect time to breakout into dance

>”Anon? You OK?”

>”Don’t mind him Applejack, it’s not the first time it happens to him

>It’s just something he likes to do”

>You have breakfast with everypony (mane6 + princesses)

>It was good

>Applejack gives you 5 apples

>What now?

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (7), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear, Mastersword

 

>You decide to decide to train with the guards as scheduled

>After Rairty fakes some measures on your hands and feet, Applejack leads you to what seems to be the castle’s training room

>”Well, have fun Anon, I’ll check on you later, I’ve things to do too3

>You are soon left with only the three guards who you’re going to train with

>The earth pony you petted before

>Some moustached unicorn that looks a little snooty

>A pegasus who seems to take this very seriously

>Who are you going to train first and what is your strategy?

>Everyone is lent training sword, only bruises, no blood

>First one hitting the other wins the round

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (7), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear, Mastersword

 

>You engage the Pegasus

>He’s no that strong but he’s really fast

>He jumps around and evade all your blows and is obviously trying to caught you off guard

>You have a hard time keeping up with him

>If it keeps up like this you’ll be hit in a matter of second

>What do?

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (7), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear, Mastersword

 

>Fighting roll:

 

>You calm down and stop trying to hit him at every moment

>You block a few blows and try to see his next attack

>Finally you see an opening and manage to deliver a swift blow in his cheek before he can attack you

>He loses him weapon because of the shock

>”Nice, Anon, Bob is the strongest of us actually! Swordplay must be your thing after all!”

>Bob does not seem bitter at all, in fact he’s quite impressed

>You spend the rest of the morning training with the three ponies

>You sword wielding skill is up by one!

>You’ve also made a manly friendship with Bob, Steve(the earth pony) And Robert(the unicorn)

>Around noon Rarity come into the room with the fucking finished link outfit

>It looks like one of those fancy cosplays people spend a year working on

>You try it on, it feels great, you can feel the mails under the vest, but it doesn’t hinder your movements at all

>It’s lighter that what you have imagined, and looks fucking great

>”So, what do you think of it Anon? Is it what you expected?”

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (7), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear, Mastersword, Hero’s grab

 

"It was more than I expected thank you Rarity, I love it."

>”Thanks a lot, Darling, I was so scared I missed the gloves I could have died”

>Good thing she didn’t actually

>After some more thanking and praising, Rarity ask you to follow her for lunch

“Well actually, I’d like to hit the bar with the guys, I’d like to know them a little better”

>”Well, we have nothing against this, we’re not on duty this afternoon

>But you must stay in the castle right?”

>Oh shit you forgot about that

>Suddenly, Robert whispers something to Steve

>”Oh, but maybe we could just hit the canteen, we do not need alcohol to get friends right Anon”

>He winks at you at the end of this sentence

>You trust him and go with them, the meal at the canteen was plain but eatable,

>You realise you were having royalty class meals so far

>After that they lead you to the gardens, in a small boxwood labyrinth

>At some point they stop and Robert dig out some strong alcohol bottle that was buried here

>”Friendship does not need alcohol, but it sure makes it easier!”

>You spend some time drinking and chatting with the guys feels nice and all

>All of a sudden you feel something vibrate in your pocket

>It’s discord’s ear

>You discreetly put it on your ear to hear the chaos god’s panicked voice

>”Mayday! mayday! I’m currently under attack! The enemy is trying to force intelligence out of me

>I can’t prepare the plan like this, I need assistance, code blue I repeat code blue!

>My coordinates are 31.02251 length and 188.29318 width ( office at the first floor in the castle’s left wing for civilans)”

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (7), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear, Mastersword, Hero’s grab

 

“Uh… Sorry guys I just remembered I have somewhere to go right now”

>”Don’t sweet it, go as fast as you can! We’ll take care your share”

>You rush to the designed location and enter the room

>…

>You weren’t prepared for this

>You see Discord tied up on a chair and eyes banded and also Rainbow Dash

>Who’s wearing a leather BDSM suit, mask and all

>She also has a whip in her mouth

>Or she had since her mouth opened in awe when you entered

>”Please my Hero, save me, this maniac has done…”things” to me” start the Chaos god

>Rainbow Dash is still looking at you with a blank expression

>”Wait… No… it’s not… He made up all this! Please, believe me!”

>Her face is turning bright red

>Maybe you were prepared actually, In the bottom of your heart

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (4), suit, apples (7), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear, Mastersword, Hero’s grab

 

>For a moment you both stare at each other awkwardly

“I saw nothing”

>You begin to slowly back away where you came from

>”Waitwaitwaaaaaaaiiiiiiittt!!!” The blue Pegasus swiftly charges on you causing the both of you to fall on the ground

>”Please! This isn’t what it looks like! I was just asking him some questions and then

>He made “poof” and I was wearing this… a ….thing! You’ve got to believe me!”

>”Say yes Anon! Don’t anger her, mistress is so scary when she’s angry!”

>”SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU PERVERTED SCUM!!!”

>”No please… Don’t punish me… I’ll be a good boy I promise!”

>Her eye start to twitch, she’s going to need therapy if it continues

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (3), suit, apples (7), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear, Mastersword, Hero’s grab

 

“You push her off and stare at her”

>”Y… You believe me right”

>…

“Yes I believe you Rainbow Dash, now just leave this place”

>You theatrically stand up and look at Discord

“ Since this guy seems to like spanking, I’m going to give him a good one

Just take off this stuff before you go

And one last thing, take this, it’s a week sedative, I think it might be the right time to use one”

>”Th…Thanks Anon” She said just before flying out

>She might just have established a new speed record

>As soon as The Pegasus is out of sight, Discord casually stand from the chair

>”Thanks pal, she was being annoyingly suspicious, but now she won’t have the courage to bother me anymore

>And as a side price, you share an embarrassing secret with one of those mares, I look forward to see how you’re going to use that”

“Sit down”

>”Excuse me?”

“I wasn’t joking when I said I was going to spank you…”

>”Oh please!” He casually pass through you, like he was made of vapour

>”I didn’t call you to be another waste of time, I’m a very busy entropic entity, you know!

>If you’re into this, I’ll introduce you to some of my friends once this is all over

>They do some really fun things at night

>But for now, I think we both have things to do, right?”

>He pops a umbrella out of nowhere and float through the celling

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (3), suit, apples (7), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear, Mastersword, Hero’s grab

 

Chapter 13:

 

>Last time, our hero became buddies with three guards. As he was spending time drinking with them in the gardens, Discord called him via his ear. Anon had to help Discord getting rid of an annoyingly suspicious Rainbow Dash. The manoeuvre included BDSM stuff, a powerful drug and nearly traumatising the mare but somewhat it has improved Anon’s relation with her. After thanking him, the chaos god casually disappeared from the room, leaving our Hero alone as he remembers he isn’t supposed to wander alone in the castle

>What will he do now?

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (3), suit, apples (7), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear, Mastersword, Hero’s grab

 

>You decide to wander alone in the castle

>you feel so smart and gangsta the first few minutes

>Until a guard spot you, you’re quite recognisable among the other ponies

>”Hey! What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be alone right?

>I’ll accompany you to one of the elements, but before I’d like to hear how did you come here

>Everyone has been told you must always be watched, who the last person you’ve seen?”

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (3), suit, apples (7), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear, Mastersword, Hero’s grab

 

>”Mmh? Odd… She should have been told of your situation…

>Why didn’t you or she call a guard before you left her, can I have the whole story?

>If I remember correctly, I’ve been told you had lunch with some fellow guards, is that right?

>How does it goes from there?”

>The guy doesn’t seem overly suspicious or mean but his questions are making you feel very uncomfortable

>You wish there was a box to hide in in these empty hallways

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (3), suit, apples (7), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear, Mastersword, Hero’s grab

 

“Well, after leaving the guards with Rainbow dash, we encountered Discord

He… Uh… played a terrible prank on her and she had to rush to the bathroom but then Discord disappeared too, leaving me by myself

I was searching for somepony to supervise me actually”

>The guard frown at the mention of the chaos god

>”This guy causes way too much trouble, he’s a better garden ornament than a friend in my opinion

>But I guess this is also our fault in some way, we don’t want to confront him so he may legitimately not have heard about your restrictions

>We always argue about who’s going to tell him something”

“So it’s like an apple of discord among you”

>Your pun almost knocked the guard off, but he bravely withstand the power of Carlos and answers with an unamused “I guess so”

>After a while you come across Raindow Dash, who looks a little strange

>”Thanks officer, but I have some private talk to do with this guy her, you got me?”

>”Well, ok then” he leaves  after raising an eyebrow at the mare

>Once he’s out of sight, the blue Pegasus gets her face very close to yours and displays a giant smile

>It’s a little creepy your think, as she start to mutter in your ear

>”Anon, Discord is hiding something, I know it, I was about to find out but you came up

>So now you’ll have to help me if you want to patch things up

>I think he likes you somewhat and he’ll do something strange in front of you

>But I’ll be watching and I’ll catch him red handed, what d’ya think?”

>She backs and start to chuckle, as if someone just told her a joke

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (3), suit, apples (7), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear, Mastersword, Hero’s grab

 

“How are you going to stop Discord from noticing you and to make a fool of you again”

>”Nah, I was trying head on first, of course he had noticed, but now I’m going to be like…

>You know, invisible because of how hidden I’ll be”

>In your opinion the best course of action would be to give her something to dig in so she’ll let Discord alone

>Just a few false clues should do the trick

>You discreetly use the ear to inform Discord of the situation

>After sighting about the blue mare’s tenacity he agrees to your plan

>He’s waiting for you in a designed location

>Just before you enter, the blue mare fly goes to the celling ad sign you to enter

 

>Health: fine

>Mental: fine

>Inventory: Chaos painkiller (3), suit, apples (7), “Equestrian laws” , “How to shine in society”, Discord’s ear, Mastersword, Hero’s grab