Title: Random stuff I wrote Author: PiEArchive Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/k8ZaGkmv First Edit: Monday 18th of February 2013 09:09:31 PM CDT Last Edit: Monday 18th of February 2013 09:09:31 PM CDT >Twilight Sparkle was researching inter-dimensional spells as a task from Princess Celestia. >She found a spell to cast. >Twilight Sparkle was transported to Earth. >Standing in front of her was Will Smith. >"Oh my gosh, you're Hollywood Superstar Will Smith! I love your movies!" >Will Smith lights a cigar and takes a puff. >Then he punches Twilight and she's knocked out. >Will Smith yells at her [spoiler]"Welcome to Earth!"[/spoiler] --------------- >Day invasion. >Chrysalis was planning on invading another dimension. >She figured if she couldn’t take Canterlot, she would take over a new world and build a new army. >She had some changelings sneak into Canterlot to steal some spell scrolls. >They returned from looting the Dimension section of the Canterlot archives. "Yes! With these scrolls, I shall conquer another dimension!" >She created a portal. >She steps through the portal and arrives in the middle of a road. "What is this hard ground?" >Before she could get her bearings a truck hits her. >Someone steps out the truck. >It’s the Orkin Man! >He walks up to Chrysalis and drops a bug bomb on her. "Whew, that was a big bug." >He gets back in his truck and drives off. >Fuck yea, Orkin Man! --------------- >The lights fade and a man walks on stage. He takes a mic and moves it close to his mouth. >“Next up is a local teacher; give it up for Ms. Cheerilee!” >Cheerilee canters to the stage, nervousness in her step. >She moved to Earth and the adjustment was difficult. >Befriending her coworkers took some time. >She took to telling jokes in the break room, turns out she wasn’t bad. >A co-worker told her of a stand-up comedy place. The idea made Cheerilee nervous. >She watched some videos from professional standup comedians and they said your opening is most important; the first joke sets you up for the rest of the night. >Cheerilee adjusts the mic. >“You guys know I’m a school teacher and the coffee in the teacher’s room is like sex in a canoe floating down the river. Fucking close to water!“ >The audience laughs. It looks like it’s going to be a good night. http://derpiboo.ru/221145