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Random stuff I wrote

By: PiEArchive on Feb 18th, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 2.12 KB  |  hits: 38  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Twilight Sparkle was researching inter-dimensional spells as a task from Princess Celestia.
  2. >She found a spell to cast.
  3. >Twilight Sparkle was transported to Earth.
  4. >Standing in front of her was Will Smith.
  5. >"Oh my gosh, you're Hollywood Superstar Will Smith! I love your movies!"
  6. >Will Smith lights a cigar and takes a puff.
  7. >Then he punches Twilight and she's knocked out.
  8. >Will Smith yells at her [spoiler]"Welcome to Earth!"[/spoiler]
  9. ---------------
  10. >Day invasion.
  11. >Chrysalis was planning on invading another dimension.
  12. >She figured if she couldn’t take Canterlot, she would take over a new world and build a new army.
  13. >She had some changelings sneak into Canterlot to steal some spell scrolls.
  14. >They returned from looting the Dimension section of the Canterlot archives.
  15. Yes! With these scrolls, I shall conquer another dimension!
  16. >She creates a portal.
  17. >She steps through the portal and arrives in the middle of a road.
  18. What is this hard ground?
  19. >Before she could get her bearings a truck hits her.
  20. >Someone steps out the truck.
  21. >It’s the Orkin Man!
  22. >He walks up to Chrysalis and drops a bug bomb on her.
  23. Whew, that was a big bug.
  24. >He gets back in his truck and drives off.
  25. >Fuck yea, Orkin Man!
  26. ---------------
  27. >The lights fade and a man walks on stage. He takes a mic and moves it close to his mouth.
  28. >“Next up is a local teacher; give it up for Ms. Cheerilee!”
  29. >Cheerilee canters to the stage, nervousness in her step.
  30. >She moved to Earth and the adjustment was difficult.
  31. >Befriending with her coworkers took some time.
  32. >She took to telling jokes in the break room, turns out she wasn’t bad.
  33. >A co-worker told her of a stand-up comedy place. The idea made Cheerilee nervous.
  34. >She watched some videos from professional standup comedians and they said your opening is most important; the first joke sets you up for the rest of the night.
  35. >Cheerilee adjusts the mic.
  36. >“You guys know I’m a school teacher and the coffee in the teacher’s room is like sex in a canoe floating down the river. Fucking close to water! “
  37. >The audience laughs. It looks like it’s going to be a good night.
  38. http://derpiboo.ru/221145
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