Assorted PiE Stories

Stories without pastebins are collected here.

Table of Contents

Dakan

breakbeat

Bizzles

GodOfPorn

CriticalAssdamage

TrocaderoPony

IntoTheVoid

LeStrange

Mr. Blue

Murphy

Equitech

random vector guy

Dichotomy

Revolver

Fargone

FreeBeer

 

Dakan - A Simple Wish

>Night had fallen accross the land of Equestria

>Lyra once again stares off into the night sky

>Her thoughts of far away land and different creatures

>Her thoughts are of humans

 

>Worlds away underneath a simular sky

>Mathew stares into the blackness of space

>His thoughts are along the same lines of Lyras

>Visions of ponies and friendship dances through this Brony's head

 

>This is a dangerous night to stare into the sky

 

>Lyra continues to stare far into the distance

>She wishes humans were real

>She wishes to live with them and experience their world

>She knows they are real, out there somewhere.

>She just wishes to be with them, instead of here.

 

>Back on Earth, mathews thoughts mirror Lyras

>He wishes for a pony friend

>He wishes for magic and friendship

>He too knows that ponies are real, somewhere out there.

 

>This night is a dangerous night for such wishes

 

>In the sky of both worlds a shooting star appears

>two indviduals cloes their eyes and make a wish

>it is a simple wish

>"I wish I could live in the world of humans"

>"I wish I could have a pony friend"

 

>It is very dangerous to make such simples wishes

>Becareful what you wish for

>Because sometimes

>Wishes come true...

------------------------

breakbeat - Sky Bright

>If there's one thing that's immediately clear being on earth for oh...five minutes? It's denim.

>In the crowd waiting for the train, I can only see sort of see the green glow of the portal behind me, and a sea of human legs around me

>and by Celestia do humans *really* like jeans. Half of them at least, the other half is in business clothes, it looks like

>tucking my passport back into my bag with my wing, my eye catches on another pony in the crowd, a pinkish unicorn mare

>She has a nervous face, but smiles when she sees me and winks

>I'm about to say something when the train suddenly pulls into the station, brakes screaming. I can see the top of the train over the crowd, it dwarfs any Equestrian train

>but I guess humans are big, so they need a big tr- OW!

 

>The whole crowd started walking forward, and a human walked right into me and kicked me.

>jump forward to keep pace with the crowd, looking back and up to see if the human's mad

>He's tall, like REALLY tall, and is looking back and forth for what he hit, until he looks down and spies me.

>"OH! Oh my god I'm so sorry! This is gonna sound so stupid but like, you're like completely out of my vision. Seriously if I'm looking straight ahead I can't see you."

"I-it's fine! I'll be more careful, I promise!"

>"....uh, what are you apologizing for? I'm the one who walked into you."

>Shoot, he can totally tell that I'm nervous. I bet every person can. Not cool not cool

>Finally reach the train, super-relieved that the crowd's breaking up and heading into different cars

>Now I won't get stepped on!

 

>Step onto the train, one of the last to board

>Most of the seats look taken...

>I don't wanna start wandering around and look like I don't know what I'm doing. Where is an open seat? Are they assigned or can I just take anything?

>"FINAL CALL FOR OLD TOWN. NEXT STOP SANTA FE DEPOT, PLEASE STAND CLEAR OF THE CLOSING DOORS."

>Huh, I wonder where that voice came from

>Suddenly, hissing behind me, and the door starts making a noise like a high pitched cry, like an upset bird

>Whip my tail out of the way as the doors slam shut on their own

>Feel my face flush red. I hope nobody saw that.

>Look down the train car...everypon...one is staring, and then all look away and pretend they're busy when I stare back

>THEY TOTALLY ALL SAW! Ahhhhh this is embarassing notcoolnotcoolnotcoooooooooooooooooooool

>I think I'll just...find another train car to sit on

 

>Enter the next car as the train picks up speed

>This one has a screen mounted on the wall, pictures of humans babbling away flitting by on it, totally ignored by most of the riders.

>Little screens, big screens, humans LOVE screens!

>See a pink hoof dart into the air is it...

>..it is! Unicorn from the train platform!

>She's wearing a pony-sized version of a human's business suit, complete with skirt.

>She motions to a seat beside her

>What the, this seat is gigantic, my hooves don't reach the floor!

>Standing back up will be fun

 

>"Morning! First time in America?"

"Yeah. Howdja know?"

>She leans in. "You look like a first-timer. Nervous."

>Great.

"I um...yeah. You're not?"

>"I'm Pepper Press. I actually work here, for FedEx."

>Clearly I'm giving her a blank stare. she continues

>"What I'm doing is figuring out the best way to get shipped stuff packed up right, so it's easy to shove through the portal to Equestria. Right now, somep0ny has to just carry it in by hoof."

"...Oh. Well that's kinda cool though! So you work with humans every day?"

>"Yeah, I...." her eyes get wide. "Hey! Look look! You're on TV!"

>I turn, and the screen hanging on the wall is playing yesterday's events.

 

>"-atest financial news, U.S. Bank has partnered with Bank of Equestria, with the goal of serving as the first link between what have been two seperate financial systems."

>The screen changed, showing a pudgy, suited man standing at a podium in Canterlot, his frame totally dwarfing the little podium. Behind him stood a collection of various official-looking human and pony figures...and me!

>"We at U.S. Bank and Bank of Equestria, believe that by forging this bond, we can bring two worlds closer together, benefitting all wh-"

>"Blahblahblah. Was that guy THAT much of a blowhard in person?"

>I start giggling, first time all day.

"Yeah, he talked for EVER. I think he likes his own voice."

>"Pff, forget him then. You gimme the rundown on what a little pegasus pony like you is doing bumping elbows with that crowd."

>...I forgot to introduce myself!

"Oh! Of course! I'm Sky Bright. I'm one of the top clerks at BoE, and they needed somep0ny to come to the meetings here because they can't do...um, the thing with the screen that works both ways?"

>"y'mean email? Skype?"

"I guess? Point is, my boss needs a fly on the wall in America to sit in on meetings, hear what they're saying, and if he needs something said, *I* say it."

 

>"Oh! Liason. Makes sense. Are you gonna be at the big office on Columbia and A?"

"Not sure."

>"Oh. Where you gonna be living here in the city?"

".......not suuuuuuuuuuuure. I mean I have a place but haven't looked how to get there."

>"Sweetie, you might be in a little bit of a pickle if you don't know your way. Here."

>She magics open her purse, and gives me a card. It's got her name, an orange-purple logo, and a lot of numbers.

>"My phone numbers on there. If you're having trouble call me, I was new once!"

"Thank you so much! But, I don't have a thing to call you with..."

>"everyone and I mean EVERYONE else does. Just ask, people are nice."

>Not really looking forward to bothering humans I don't know to make that call. Hopefully I don't have to do that.

>"NOW ARRIVING, SANTA FE DEPOT."

"Huh, I'm not sure which is my stop..."

>"THIS IS THE FINAL STOP. THIS TRAIN IS NOW OUT OF SERVICE, EVERYONE MUST EXIT."

"Oh."

>Join the crowd stumbling off the train. Get kicked, TWICE.

>I was a little nervous about suddenly flying because it might startle everyone, but if this keeps up....it's flying or a bruised flank.

>"Sweetie! I'm going this way towards the docks! I think the bank is THAT way. Good luck! And seriously, call me if you get stuck! Pony buddies!"

>She's nice, but I'd rather today just go okay than needing her help.

>Now... my first day of work. If I can find it.

 

>Ohkay, which way did Pepper point? It was...it was...kinda east. Maybe north. Let's go with north.

>Start walking. I know what the building LOOKS like from the brochure...let's see if I see it!

>I don't want to stop and look in my bag...because I realize I'm getting stared at

>Most of these humans have probably never seen a pony in person before...

>still unsettling. Not a big fan of it, and what's worse is I can't tell human emotions easy

>Why is a species so big have such little faces? Especially their little eyes. It's so much harder to tell what a human's thinking!

>At least you can tell when they start talking. Not that I've had long conversations with humans, yet

>I can't blame them for staring...plus, I'm staring at everything. Even two story buildings are massive compared to home, and the nickname "sky scrapers" makes a lot of sense now

>suddenly, my stomach almost turns. WHAT IS THAT SMELL

>...Oh yeah, this species eats meat. Creeeeepy.

>Those are chickens in that window. Dead chickens. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww

>I wonder how many chickens humans eat a year. I bet it's like a bajillion

>....How long have I been walking? Nothing here says U.S. Bank. I went in the wrong direction! Why didn't I check the address or ask for directions!? Notcoolnotcool notttttttttcoooooooooooool

>Now I have to stop a human and ask for help. Pfffffffrgh

 

>Okay, I'll go just a little further. If I don't see something THIS block, I'll ask.

>Sidewalk ends, have to cross the street. I wonder if humans trip more often with only two fee-

>"PONY! STOP!"

>before I can even turn around, YANK

>Someone's got my tail and is pulling hard. I scream as I stumble backwards back onto the curb

>turn around, a guy has my tail in both hands.

>"Yo, I'm sorry, but you were gonna get fuckin' HIT."

"Hit by what!?"

>HAAAUUUUNK Oh Celestia why was that car so big.

>"Your ass 'aight?"

"...what?"

>"I yanked you real hard, I was just scared you were gonna get hit."

>I realize there's a lady peering around this guy. He's kinda fat if he can hide an entire person behind him. "Damn, you scared the shit outta her!"

>She crouches down, holding out her hand, smiling. "Don't worry, it's okayyyyyy." She's speaking all calming and singsongey. "Need us to help you find your mama?"

>How old does she think I am? Well I already look like an idiot, might as well ask about the bank

"Actually, I'm looking for U.S. Bank."

>"Awe, you got sent out on a big girl errand?"

"Nono, It's for work. I just transferred from Equestria and I'm sort of on corporate ambassador duties."

>The man speaks back up. "Wait, what the fuck how old are you?"

"23."

>Girl again. "Damn. Do ponies stay this tiny ya whole life? I thought you were as big as like...ponies."

>The heck does that comment even mean

 

"But no, seriously. I need to get to the bank office. Where's that?"

>"U.S. Bank owns one of the towers downtown, so I guess there?"

"And this isn't downtown?"

>"Nah, you're in Little Italy."

"I'm in ITALY!? Isn't that like, halfway around Earth!?"

>Why's that funny why are they laughing what did I do

>"Nah, that's like, that way. WAY that way." He's pointing at one of the towers. I couldn't have been more in the wrong direction

>"It says U.S. Bank on the top of the other side of the tower. But that's GOTTA be it if you're doing buisness. When do they want you by? Like what time?"

"Oh. they said nine?"

>".....Y'all should haul ass, cause it's eight fifty."

>WHAT

>"You wanna a cab?"

>I pop open my wings and take to the air. "Oooh! No WAY, that's so cool!" Cries the lady.

"Thanks, but I think I can make it!"

 

>So my rule on not flying unless I have to didn't last long!

>At least I have a target now. Big black tower here I come!

>Fly about 2 or 3 human stories in the air, good flyer but not a GREAT one so I usually don't hang out all that high

>have to do a little bit of weaving and dodging around some buildings, plus antennas and other metal humans seem to LOVE to have jutting up

>Making good time, I might ACTUALLY make it there being only slightly late instead of horribly late

>Oh hey, is that a school? Awe lookit all the little human kids, they wear clothes like adults!

>Aaaaaaaaaannd they're all screaming. And pointing. At me. Sheesh.

>Wait, are they smiling? ....Oh, they've never seen a pegasus before! Hi kids! Sure I'll wave back!

>Oh wait right JOB. Shoot bye kids

 

>HERE! Finally!

>Fly straight up the tower, I think they have me working on a high floor so I'll just duck in a window.

>Loop around the building once....twice....why are none of the windows open?

>Realize I'm a complete idiot...in Equestria, all the high windows open so pegasi can come and go. But on Earth it's just a safety hazard!

>Drop back to the ground level and sheepishly go in the front door

>Hover a few feet off the ground so I can actually SEE the desk guy

>He's got his nose buried in a screen. Kinda spotting a trend here

>He looks up, looks down, then looks back up again with his eyes all big. Well, human big.

>Dude. Guy. Talk. Manners. SAY SOMETHING. Fine, I will.

"Uhm, hi?"

 

>"....Oh." He rubs his face. "Thought I was tripping there for a sec. Can I help you?"

"Yeah, I'm here for work. I'm meeting with Mr. Archer."

>"You know Mr. Archer?"

"Well, we've met in Equestria and I'm representing Bank of Equestria."

>"...huh. Well, I'll buzz you up to the office of the CEO, elevators are down that way."

>Good, information that I have no idea what to do with. I'll just smile and wait for him to yammer more.

>"....If you, um, get on one of them, I'll just send you to his floor."

>Oh, go get on something down the hall.

"Alright, thank you!"

>Head up the hallway and just KNOW human eyes are boring into the back of my head. Whip around real fast

>Staring doorman jumps back and trips over his chair and lands on his flank. Busted

>Ohkay, and I get on the what? There's doors. Lots of d- That door opened! I guess I get on what's inside. Except it's empty. I'll go inside and- MORE doors that close on their own. What is WITH humans and doors that shut on their own?

>Now I'm stuck in here. What's that dinging, and do I suddenly have a heavy feeling in my belly?

------------------------

Bizzles - Pinkie in Earth.

>Day 3 in Earth.

>You are Pinkie Pie.

>And you are freezing.

>The Earth's crust isn't as fun as you thought it would be.

>You start to dig .

It is the only way out.

>You dig down with out realizing it.

>You begin to warm up.

"Oooooo, this isn't so cold, it-"

>You dig into a cavern of magma.

Bad End

 

Flutter Shy in Earth

>Day 8 in Earth.

>Twilight told you there would be nice animals here.

>Sadly, there doesn't seem to be any animals at all..

>Darkness.

>That is the only thing you are aware of.

"Oh my.. What am I going to do?"

>You begin to walk down the dark path a head of you.

>You start to get sleepy.

>Your breaths begin to get shallow.

>The natural gases take their tole.

Another Bad End

------------------------

GodOfPorn

>You groan as your alarm clock goes off in the morning.

>Another long day ahead of you.

>You're an Earth Ambassador, working for the ECA: the Equestrian Contact Authority.

>Ever since the first portal into their world appeared, you've been working closely with the Equestrian Ambassador and inventor of the Dimension Gate, Twilight Sparkle.

>You're also the roommate of Twilight's assistant and Equestrian Communications Officer, a baby dragon named Spike.

>He might be a baby in Equestria, but he seems to be about your age in Earth years.

>You get out of your bed, put on a robe and walk into the kitchen.

>Spike's already up, and cooking bacon with his fire breath.

>He's developed a taste for meat. Presumably, Dragons would normally eat meat, but as he had been raised among herbivores, he supposed non-vegetarianism had some social stigmas attached.

That's all I've got at the moment. What do you guys think?

------------------------

CriticalAssdamage

"It'll never work Berry. They'll find out, then we'll be in worse shape than we are now."

"Oh come on! Have a little faith in me." Berry says, clearly annoyed, as she hops out of your truck.

>Normally, a trip to the mall wouldn't make you so nervous, but this is a special occasion.

"Believe it or not, I have put a little thought into this. I know it's a stretch, but just trust me on this one."

>Her reassurances do little to settle you as you make your way in and to the Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

>Berry selects several large wax candles that you are forced to carry around while she continues to browse.

 

>Her plan to save her failing bar was far from what you'd call inspired, but she kept insisting it would work.

>As the debts continued to pile up and the customers continued to dwindle, she turned to a desperation scheme you would never even consider.

"Well, since I picked the candles out, you can pick out the flowers. Just make sure they're pretty!"

"You aren't going to eat them, are you?"

"No, idiot, they're important."

 

>You've worked for Berry for quite a while now and she even let you rent out the small apartment over the bar for cheap.

>Helping her commit insurance fraud is testing your loyalty, though.

"Just remember to dry them out!" She reminds you for what seems to be the hundredth time.

>You go over her plan again in your mind as you enter the flower shop.

>Multiple lit candles in multiple rooms atop kindling lit at the same time.

>They would know it was arson. You would know it was arson. But they wouldn't be able to prove it.

>Then both of you would clean up on the insurance, pay off the debts, then live the high life down in Mexico.

>All under the cover story of a romantic evening gone awry.

 

>It seemed solid in theory, but putting it to practice still makes you jumpy.

>As you return with an arm full of bouqets, you see her break into a disappointed scowl.

"You got the cheap ones."

"Does it really matter?"

"Well... not really. But just because we're thieves doesn't mean we have to be crass about it."

"I'll keep that in mind the next time I'm holding up a gas station."

 

>A few nights later, you stand on the street corner with Berry at your side.

>She insisted on making the call to 911.

>And on making as overly dramatic as possible, too.

>As the flames continue to rise, you really hope she's right about this.

>A month later, sitting on the beach in Cozumel, Berry turns to you with a smile on her face - the first you've seen in a long time.

"See, what'd I tell you? When things get bad, just light a candle."

------------------------

TrocaderoPony

>You and your wingman Silks are out doing high-altitude recce flyover of a middle eastern rogue state in search of suspected WMDs

>The whole op has been long instances of nothing occasionally punctuated by zilch and nada.

>Your radio crackles to life and Silks' somewhat annoyed voice comes through: "There's nothing out here Boss. Anything bigger than an outhouse would light up our instruments like a goddamned christmas tree. Besides, I'm almost at bingo fuel. Let's scrub this op and RTB*"

"Silks, you go on ahead back. I'mma gonna do another flyby. My gut tells me something's out here."

>"Okay Boss. Silks heading home."

>You throw a glance over your shoulder and see Silks turn his aircraft around, clearly taking the shortest possible route back to the carrier

>A couple of minutes later and you're alone in the sky as far as you can see

>Suddenly your instruments start to go all shades of crazy

"Bird One to Nest. My instruments just picked up a anomaly at subgrid Tango Charlie Three-Six."

>Bird One, this is Nest. What kind of anomaly? Chemical, nuclear or biological?

"Don't know, sir. The instruments keep spitting out an error code. But man, these readings are off the charts whatever it is. I'm doing another flyby."

 

>As you turn and fly over the same area again your instruments give you the same error code but a signinficatly lower reading this time

"Bird One to Nest. There is definitly something out here, though readings have dropped alot."

>As you finish that sentence you see something in the corner of your eye leveling out next to you

>Your radar is as empty as it has been all the time during your flight and the missile lock warning signal isn't blaring as it would if an enemy had locked on to your ass

>You throw a quick glance over your shoulder to see what the heck is following you

>As you turn your head whatever it is that is following you pass you and leave you far behind

>All you see is something small and... blue-ish?

>You check your speed: Mach 3.0

>Whatever is was just passed you like a Porche overtaking a VW Beetle

>And left a...rainbow? in it's wake.

>According to your instruments that... thing is what gave the weird readings

"Bird One to Nest. Do we have any other friendlies in the sky over here?

>"Negative Bird one. You are alone up there."

"Because I just got passed by something smaller that a cruise missile and going way more that mach 3.

>You decide to head back to the carrier. Something tells you the army spooks will want to analyze your cam footage and instrument readings after this.

------------------------

IntoTheVoid

>You glide across the lawn from your porch to get your mail.

>You have to be quick, otherwise these humans called 'bronies' will grab you and start forcefully brushing your hair or such.

>A few already begin to gather by your driveway, and you dart back inside quickly.

"Phew, that was close..."

>A few steps inside and your face is wedged between two large jiggly white things.

>"-Snort- H-hey F-Fluttershy."

"Anonymous..."

 

>You go on a nice walk through the forest today, hoping no 'Bronies' followed you.

>Along the way you see Pinkie, and is she... playing fetch with a fish?

>You walk off, unsure of what you just saw.

>Getting to your spot you pull out a bag of nuts and bird seed.

>As you toss some feed about for the critters, you notice an especially big squirrel.

"Oh my, aren't you a big critter."

>It nods in response.

"Well why don't you follow be, I have a 'special acorn' for you."

>It hops after you as you walk towards some falls.

"Now, just over that edge, why don't you take a peak?"

>The squirrel bends over the edge, and you kick him off the cliff.

>You yell down, "Fursuits aren't my fetish Anon!"

>Later, on your way back you see Pinkie playing fetch with his tattered and soaked fedora.

>Today was a good day.

 

>Heading out the door you are met with a horrid sight.

>Anonymous, and he's holding some... thing.

Open pic.

>"Hey Fluttershy! Guess what? You aren't my Waifu anymore!"

"I was never your waifu Anon..."

>"Yeah, sorry babe, but I got a new girl."

>"Help.. me..."

>"She totally digs me."

>He picks up the dog and starts sticking his tongue in it's mouth, forcing the poor thing to comply.

>"Oh yeah Fluttershy, I bet that gets you nice and wet."

>"Please kill me..."

>You close the door slowly, trying to erase the image from your mind.

>"Damn it Seth you said that would work!"

>"Worked for my waifu."

>"Trixie is not your waifu!"

>"Yeah, she totally digs you."

 

>You go through your mail for the day, and notice something outside your window.

>It moves away though before you get a closer look.

>You dismiss it as a ponyfag, they tend to be more secretive than bronies.

>A few minutes later though, something knocks at your door.

>You open it and are instantly confused.

>"COME! LET US RIDE TO THE GLORY OF EQUINITY!"

"W-what?"

>"THEY CALL ME TARDY! A MOST MASCULINE COMBINATION OF HORSE AND MAN!"

>He turns.

>"NOW COME! AND LET US RIDE TO GREAT GLORY!"

>You hop on his back, and ride off to "great glory".

>Or, you suppose you would have, but men in while coats come and un-zip what was evidently his costume, then throw him into a ambulance.

>Something about forgetting his meds.

>Meh end.

 

>You enter the musky apartment.

>Every damned week these ponies beat you, and you're sent home without any cash.

>This week though, it was your turn to pick a game for gambling.

>And you've got it right up your sleeve.

>Quite literally as a matter of fact.

>You take a seat, and Rarity speaks up.

>"So, Anonymous, what game shall it be?"

>You hear one of the other five mutter something about humans being easy cash.

"Oh, just a simple one."

>"Well, tell us darling."

"Thumb war."

>You go home a rich man that night.

 

>The next day as you're banking your winnings, a voice yells out to you.

>"Anonymous! I hereby challenge you to a thumb war!"

>You look to see who challenges you, the eternal champion of thumb wresting.

>A average sized mint green unicorn, with a lyre mark and bright orange eyes that glare with the force of an angry sun.

"Hah! You think you can beat me?"

>"I wouldn't get so cocky if I were you."

"Then let us duel!"

>You throw the papers from one of the counters and she hops onto the other side.

>You got this in the...

>She pulls out her "hoof" and you are left speechless.

>What was once hoof is now a hand, green to match her coat.

"Very well! We shall begin immediately!"

>You grasp her 'hand' and begin.

"One

>Two

Three

>Four

I

>Declare

A

>Thumb

War."

>You both begin fighting for dominance, but anytime you gain the upper edge she is quick to counter it.

>You wrap your thumb around hers, a sure sign of imminent victory.

>She however does the unthinkable, twisting hers in a way you could never think possible!

>She gets out of yours' grip, and slams hers down on top of yours.

>"Three..."

>You pull with all of your might.

>"Two...."

>Sweat begins to build up, and oyu can feel yourself slipping.

>"One..."

>Suddenly, your thumb comes free.

>The built up force causes you to fling backwards towards a window, and you go slamming through with the force of a freight train.

>You hit the ground, broken in body and spirit.

>Bad end.

------------------------

LeStrange

>It's raining outside and hear the rain drops, drip ever so softly

>I looked out at the window in a steady gaze of wonder and hope

>The rain always reminded me of a calm chaotic story that always makes me feel at ease

>I hear the kettle pot steaming loudly and I'm suddenly snapped out of my trace

OH, DAMN!

>I scurry to the pot and set it on top of a wooden slate

>Cursing under my breath I hear a gentle knock on the door

>I look at the time

It's 2 in the morning, who the heck can that be?

>I like talking to myself, it makes me feel like I have a better half hearing me

>I take hold of a baseball bat that was leaning next to the door

>I slowly open the door

> Steadily holding my bat..I peek out the window and see a..w-what is that?

What the..who left this wet dog on the front of my porch?!

>Looking left and right I can't see if this isn't just another prank the neighbors are pulling on you

>There was a small blanket covering the wet animal

>I kneel down and check if it's living

> Because hell, I don't want to clean up after a dead animal

>I kneel closer...I see it faintly breathing

What a relieve

>I sighed to myself as I stood up and closed the door

>I walk back to the kitchen and fix myself some tea

>I hear the sound of tapping on my door now...and a small whimpering sound

>I race back to the door and see that it was the animal thing again

 

>It slowly picks itself up and looks at me

>I can see that it's coat was pink and it had a....purple mane with a white streak curving around??

You're the weirdest looking dog/horse thing I've ever seen *sigh* alright c'mon

>Kneeling down and pick up the thing

>I set it down on my couch

>I look at it in disbelief while I sip my tea

>Several hours later it woke up again

>And it..it..spoke

>"gee, just kill me. No thanks you weird gorilla. I didn't need your help"

Wait, WHAT?! You were the one on my front door dying or something! I just saved your life!

>"Dying? I don't think so. I was just sleeping, that was all." she pouts..it's a she, right?

>I looked directly into her eyes as I was about to yell my lungs out

>I see that she has no pupils just...swirls of white entwind with a purple texture

Ar-are you some kinda alien or something?

>She puffs out her chest

>"Well, yes, yes I am."

>She makes faces at me and makes "OOooOOo" sounds at me

Well, you're not a ghost. That much I know for sure so stop doing that

>She mimics me and readily says "stop doing that" over and over again..like a damned child

>It took about ten or so minutes of name calling in-till we even exchanged names

Heh, Screwball. Such a stupid name

>"Just like yours?! AN-ON

>welp, she got me there.

>I get the feeling that I'm going to regret opening that door. Very, very soon.

------------------------

Mr. Blue - Pillow Saves Christmas... for a later date - Part II

It was the day before the night before Christmas, and all through the bar, hardly a drinker was stirring, because it was only 2:30, and far, far too early, for the less stranger patrons to have much more than a beer. But the bartender stirred from her daydreaming stupor by the opening door and the sound of soft hoofsteps, though not on the roof.

 

In through the door, shaking snow from her feathers, trotted a white little pony who was sick of the weather. She was bundled up tightly to keep out the cold in a collection of garments, though none very old. The bartender smiled but sighed just as well, for her shift was long over but this pony might tell just where the fucking hell that fussy red earth pony was, who was supposed to be there like an hour ago, and she wasn't even supposed to work today except that Sonja called in sick and no one else would pick up their damn phones, and Jeff literally begged her to come in because he was worried about some crazy shit starting if he had to work the counter and put together the next month’s schedule at the same time, and “good god man I’ll come in just as long as that goddamn Strawberry Jam isn't late for her shift. I know she’s great and all but why is it people are only ever late when I’m working right before them. I mean, Jesus Greg, what's with that?”

 

Unfortunately Pillow Case didn’t know where her friend Strawberry was and had also expected her to be there on time to talk about their plans for the following night. They were all going to a party on Christmas Eve and it was Pillow’s first Christmas, so of course Strawberry wanted everyone to get into the spirit for her sake. She hadn’t understood it all, because it hardly seemed different from Hearth’s Warming Eve, but she made sure to research the traditions so she didn’t accidentally embarrass herself in front of a large crowd of humans and ponies alike, like at the “Halloween/Nightmare Night/Oh God Casey Bobbing For Apples? Really?” Party.

She’d spent the weekend with her nose buried deep within her tablet computer going through a secret list of holiday favorites provided by her small number of human friends who all claimed to be experts on the holiday. They even fought over the list when Eric kept insisting that she had to watch ‘A Christmas Story’, but that she could only watch it on Christmas Day. Then Emily went on a tangent about “so called traditions” being “stuck reliving the nostalgia from the baby boomer generation” and a lot of other stuff that went right over Pillow’s head. So she and Michael snuck out of the room while the couple bickered and he suggested she just stick with the animated stuff until they sorted it all out, oh and also not to tell Berry because she’d probably not want to hear about what they were all doing.

 

So after a long night with Rudolph, Frosty, A Charlie Brown Christmas, a tearful peak into It’s A Wonderful Life, A Muppet Christmas Carol, and finally learning how The Grinch could possibly steal something as abstract as a holiday, there was no way she would ruin christmas. And just in case anyone tried anything funny, at least she had a decent idea of how to go about “saving” it. Mostly though she was just confused and was hoping Strawberry could clear some things up...

 

Shedding her long scarf and the booties on her forehooves, Pillow hopped up onto the tall barstool. It was a little tall for such a small pony but height meant nothing to a pegasus. Resting her forehooves on the seat she quickly asked the bartender if strawberry was around.

 

Having just opened her mouth to ask somewhat of the same the she just closed her mouth and shook her head.

 

“Oh...” Pillow replied, “I thought she was working today. Sorry.”

 

“No, she is. She’s just late. I’m not even supposed to be here but... whatever. Can I get you anything? Coffee?”

 

“Just some cocoa if you have any or tea I guess.”

 

She poured the little pony some hot chocolate and then went back to pretending to clean the counter. Pillow struggled in her head to remember the bartender’s name. She knew maybe two or three of Strawberry Jam’s coworkers with how much time she spent up there. There was that one guy Jeff-er-ee or something. He might have been the guy that owned the place, or the son of the guy that did, or something like that. Strawberry mentioned him a lot and he was always around the place trying to hold on to some small bit of authority, but it seemed to pillow his only purpose was to sign the paychecks, answer the phone, and get stressed out so others didn’t have to.

 

After waiting for around ten minutes Pillow pulled out her tablet to watch more Christmas specials. When Strawberry said to not worry about paying rent and to spend her first few paychecks to help settle in then Pillow surprised them both by not only spending most of the money on clothes and a few pieces of “amazing human technology!” including a tablet she had thoroughly researched and then spent several days holed up with her very own window to the internet. Neither of them would admit what Strawberry’s boyfriend Michael's jokes were actually true, and Pillow seemed more tech savvy most times after a few months than Strawberry did having been raised in the human world.

 

Unfortunately that money seemed a little wasted for a while as Pillow’s job delivering food for that one sandwich place didn’t exactly work out all too well. While most places jumped at the chance to hire a pegasus to deliver food, and would pay them more than they would most human drivers, they weren’t too keen on delivery flyers who would accidentally drop the food when startled by a car horn or a barking dog below her.

 

Fortunately she had gotten a job as a salespony at Bed Bath and Beyond with a few good references and past experience at home, and that seemed to be working out well. Humans seemed to develop strange superstitions about ponies’ cutie marks and would trust anything a pony with a pillow on her flank would say about anything relating to comforters and bedding. She’d made a surprising number of sales on her first day just by not knowing what she was supposed to do during her break and taking a quick nap on one of the display beds. Though she was too embarrassed to do that again. She wasn’t working a sewing machine anymore but at least she was back to part of her comfortable old job back home. She was very excited at the prospect of also selling soap and other things too when she completely finished her training.

 

Pillow Case was interrupted from the captivating origins of humankind’s guardian of Christmas spirit (as told in amazing stop motion glory of Rankin/Bass Productions’ “Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town”, which strangely seemed to conflict with most of her previous research on the subject, but it was on the list so it had to be important); the bartender whose name she swore she’d remember eventually set a drink down in front of her.

 

Pillow looked at the glass of dark amber liquid startled, and then up at the girl who set it down. “What’s this?”

 

“From your friend.” She nodded her head to someone Pillow hadn’t noticed sit down a few seats away. Some strange man with a trim beard, spiked hair, a black blazer, and a fairly shady smile.

 

“I don’t know him.” Pillow squeaked quietly to her friend’s coworker.

 

“Oh.” She said a little annoyed, taking the drink back and moving to help someone else.

 

Pillow tried to turn back to her tablet but the obvious sound of someone standing up on two legs and moving over to sit by her was hard to ignore.

 

“Aww, what’s that all about little filly, I’m just trying to be friendly.”

 

‘Well maybe that’s true.’ Pillow thought.

 

“Besides, we’ve met before, remember?”

 

“N-no, I think you have me confused with somepоny else.” She tried desperately to melt into the stool but her hooves and flank remained stubbornly solid.

 

“Nah, I’d recognize that cutie mark anywhere,” He put a tonal emphasis on “cutie” when he said it.

 

“It-it’s not an uncommon one. A lot of ponies h-have one just like it.”

 

“Maybe a lot back in the good ol’ EqK, but there aren’t ‘that’ many ponies around here. come on, early November, you bought me a drink, came over to my apartment later for some fun.”

 

 His voice dropped to a whisper as he leaned uncomfortably close to her. “A little wing and hoof play and then you-” he leaned forward and whispered something in her ear that made her blush turn her into a good imitation of her best friend Strawberry.

 

“I-I-I... what... I—”

 

“Oh we might have both had a bit to drink but maybe after a little tonight you might remember...”

 

Pillow was saved, she assumed by the bell above the door. Hoping desperately to see a friendly face she instead caught the eccentric eye of a pony that was just that.

“Casey! How’s mah faaaavv-rite lil’ doppleganger doin’? Ah haven’ seen yall since the Fly-by party last month! How’s it goin’!” His smile was terribly contagious but Pillow was trying to figure out way of putting the scrawny blue pegasus stallion between her and ‘the scary man’. He looked down the bar at the now impossibly more annoyed looking girl pouring a drink. “Lily! Lovely Lily, how’s ‘bout a drink sugar. Pretty please?” His smile defied reason and grew even more and the sparkle in the puppy eyes he gave her could have blinded even Celestia herself.

 

Despite the best efforts of ‘Lily’’s own glaring eyes, the blue pony’s head did not explode. “No means no SoCo. Not this time.” She said back. “You know the rules. Nothing for you stronger than ginger ale before seven. And even then only when Berry’s around.”

SoCo feigned a blow and held a hoof to his chest. “Oh you wound me my dear.” laying thicker his deep southern drawl, “but never you worry none, Ah am nothin’ if not generous when it comes to all mannah of booze and made sure as salt ta’ have plenty of mah own ta’ share.” His smile came back and his wing flipped in and out of a slim coat pocket, expertly tossing and catching a small glass flask of some crystal clear liquid.

 

Lily groaned and Pillow would swore later she wept into the espresso machine. They were both familiar, Lily (and the other bar workers, waiters, waitresses, and pub owners working within the same seven mile radius) more so than Pillow, with the small light blue and brilliantly white maned pegasus known as Southern Comfort. Woman and Mares everywhere were said to cling their respective males closer when he was near, though not for the reasons most males assumed when hearing Comfort tell them all this.

 

His friendly smile returned to Pillow Case before doing a double take over the man sitting next to her. “Well howdy, what have we here.” He said innocently “Friend a’ yours Case?”

 

Pillow shook her head. The spiky haired man was still staring at the image of a fluffy pillow on SoCo’s flank.

 

“Actually...” Comfort said, “have we met? Oh yeah, I remember. Early November, I bought ’cha a drink, then we went back for a little ‘wing n’ hoof’ play at your place ‘fore—”

 

The stranger was already out the door before he finished, his car soon screeching out of the parking lot.

 

“Well damn. That’s a real shame I tell you what. Wouldn’t happen to have the number ‘a that cutie would ‘ja Casey dear?”

 

She shook her head smiling. She sort of liked SoCo in a weird way, and he was the only local pegasus she saw that often aside from the sixteen year old colt that usually delivered pizza to the apartment. She just found his eccentricities a little hard to keep up with, and his and her identical cutie marks and similar coat shades made her feel awkward around him; some humans assumed kept assuming they were related when she first met him at a party. And then of course Strawberry Jam couldn’t stand him and his methods for picking up guys which, while almost never failing would frighten away a great many stubbornly straight bar patrons, and then of course his impromptu parties that seemed to form wherever his smile and alcohol were mixed and were such a mess to clean up. He warmed up to people very well and even Strawberry would agree he was comfortable to be around, it was his special talent after all.

 

Although it was because of him that a lot of humans in the area not familiar with cutie marks would assume Pillow’s meant she was good in bed. Which just gave her another excuse to cover herself up and buy more clothes, nice soft clothes. Though she claimed it was for the cold weather. That gosh darn untamable human world! Grrr!

 

After Pillow had explained the story of the spikey haired man and Southern had picked himself off the floor and stopped laughing, Lily the bartender came over and gave the bluer pegasus the man’s tab, which he more than happily paid, much to Lily’s chagrin.

 

“Well now Casey girl, I say this calls for something special, though I think you’ll appreciate this a little bit more than me.”

 

Her eyes widened and she could help but let out an excited squeak as he pulled a large glass bottle had, somehow, been hidden in his other coat pocket. She recognized the logo instantly, three apples silhouetted over a red stallion’s head and the name “Sweet Apple Acres Cider” in large blocked letters around it.

 

“Just a little taste of the homeland.” He said casually. “Gran sends us each a bottle every year, probably hoping one a’ us will finally ‘git some sense and move back to Equestria and away from the dangerous land o’ the carnivores’. Good ol’ gran. But you know me”—Pillow didn’t actually but she nodded her head anyway as he talked, eyes sparkling at the sight of the bottle—“Ain’t never set hoof in that world or care much for pair a’ queens its got. Mmmhmm.”

 

He reached over the bar and hooked a hoof around a glass when Lilly wasn’t looking, and taking the empty one Pillow had for water. Popping the cap off the bottle he poored Pillow and himself each a glass. “Here.” He said replacing the cap and sliding the bottle and glass to her.

 

“Merry Christmas!”

 

She stared at the bottle in shock and stammered, “B-bu-but, it’s not Christmas yet! I didn’t get you anything! I—”

 

“Easy girl!” He said, pulling out his flask and unscrewing it with his teeth. “Don’t you worry ‘bout that none. I’m not one to care for getting gifts anyway. Tis’ the season though and I figured you might be missin’ home a bit ‘round this time. I know I’m am.”

 

“But I thought you said you never—”

 

“Good ol’ Alabama. Don’t get the chance to visit them as often as I’d like. Damn shame.

 

“Oh...”

 

“Well come on now, how’s ‘bout a christmas toast.” His glass was only half full of cider but he brought it just past three fourths with the contents of his flask. He then picked up his glass in the way that always fascinates humans more unfamiliar with ponies and held it aloft. she tapped hers against his.

 

“Um, merry Christmas” she said.

 

“And a happy Hearth’s Warming to you.” He said back.

 

They each emptied their glasses, him chasing it down as if it were trying to get away, and her savoring each drop as a little bit of home.

 

Once Pillow stopped crying and he had assured Lily, and then the newly arrived Strawberry, that he hadn’t done anything wrong, and she had backup him up laughing a little, then he tipped an invisible hat to her and moved to the other end of the rapidly filling bar, homing in on a yellow coated unicorn stallion.

 

The bar just became busier and busier and Strawberry hardly had a chance to say hi. Lily wasn't even given the chance to leave because even an earth pony with a strawberry margarita glass on her flank couldn't hope to keep up with with the sudden blurring rush of patrons. Not feeling up to watching her christmas stories anymore and not even being interested in the eccentric pony talk show host on the screen above the bar (‘Tickled Pink!’ With your host, the element of laugher, Pinkie Pie!) she eventually took off on Strawberry’s advice that they’d probably be better off talking over their plans at home with Michael, when Berry was off work.

 

She bundled up warmly and hugged the cider bottle close as she flew home. Though she didn’t feel like watching any more cartoons, she suddenly felt she wanted to rerewatch that one black and white movie again, with the funny talking angel in it who wanted to earn his wings. And then she wanted to call home.

------------------------

Murphy

>She was doing it again. AGAIN. Third time in the last two days! You thoroughly regretted teaching her how to use your computer- thank god she hadn't explored the porn hard drive- and she hadn't even been using it for a month! Accursed horse.

"TURN OFF THAT GODFORSAKEN RACKET, YOU KNOB!"

>The music abruptly shut off, leaving you with a momentary bout of silence. Momentary, as in, in a moment, she would be stomping down the stairs all in a huff. Before you could react, she was in your face.

>"What'd I tell ya 'bout callin' me names I don't understand, 'Nonymous?" the orange menace rumbled angrily, shoving her face into your own.

"I gave you the lingo dictionary, you ninny. Don't go complaining at me if you didn't bother reading it."

>The pony's face reddened. "W- Ah- OOH, YOU- GRRR."

>Before you could even hack up a laugh to toss her way, she was upstairs. You vaguely registered a door slamming, as well as the heavy click of the lock, well, locking. You didn't get a long time to appreciate this victory, as your alarmclock exploded to life, blaring a klaxon to rival a bomb.

"Oh, bollocks! Jack, I'm heading out to work! Be good!"

>"Whassat, Anon? Burn down the house? Well, if you insist!" she shouted back.

>Ehh, whatever. You had more important things on your plate. Quick as a whip, you were out the door, in the car, and driving like a madman off to the office.

>Big day, you told yourself. Big, big day!

------------------------

Equitech

>you crack yourself open a beer after a hard day's work

>you rub your cold, callused hands together

>being a contract construction worker can get hard when the deadlines are tight and the work is heavy

>you sit your huge frame on your small computer chair and relax a little by watching the latest episode of the miniature horse show

>scratching your big, full beard

>you down the cheap moslon canadian and crush the comically-small-by-comparison can in your fist

"Dat shuur hit de spot. Oh yah, oh yah." you say

>you lumber over to the fridge for another brewski

>you've taken a habit of walking a bit sideways as your apartment doorways aren't quite wide enough for your shoulders

>a strange noise sounds through the small bachelor pad

"Ey be quiet up dar!" you holler

>calisse de neighbors always making a goddamn ruckus

>you hear a squeak right behind you

>you turn and see a yellow cartoon p0ny with a long pink mane frozen and cowering in fear

>your door is also open

"Ouatte de phoque?" is the only thing you can say

>you double take

>you slap yourself firmly to ensure you're awake

>what surprises you is that the little p0ny jumps a good six inches when you do so, thoroughly startled

"Wat's de ciboire de joke, la?" you exclaim

 

>even if having a hard time believing what your eyes see, you're still not going to lose your head

>you notice the door is open

"Fluttershey?" you say

>she peeks up from under a long bang

"Fluttershey, you real?"

>your deep, loud voice only succeeds in making her take cover once more behind her bangs

>you have to close the door, however

>it's fuggen cold outside and heating's not cheap

"Don't worry der Fluttershy, aime just gona close de door"

>you walk over her as there is no room to walk around her

>she's still frozen in fear

>you take a few minutes and try to get her to respond

>you poke her

>she's indeed real

>you're losing patience

"Ey, Fluttershey, say someting, christie"

>she hunkers down even more

>you scratch your beard some more

"An' ere aye was tinking dat a real p0ny would be fun an' games..."

>you notice she's shivering so you put your plaid flannel shirt over her

>you go back to the kitchen and shotgun two beers just to calm down

>you cut open a big can of maple syrup beans and nuke them

>sticking half of it in a bowl, you slide it over to Fluttershy

>it's not long that the enticing smell is enough to get the little creature's attention

"R'gard over 'ere, it's food, you eet it" you say, demonstrating from your own bowl

>the aptly named yellowquiet takes a few tentative nibbles then starts eating

"Eets not so bad, ey?"

>she raises her head slowly, wearily

"Ummm... I... Thanks for not...tngdnm"

>you didn't hear the last words right

 

"Can yew repeet dat?"

"Thanks for nt.. ting...e"

>she's getting quieter, for fuck's sake

"Speek up, ostie!"

>she cowers further

>you think she tried to say something but probably only a bat could have heard it

>you sit down

>you were going about this all wrong

>if this pegasus was like the one in the show...

"Ey give mee a second, ay'll be raite back"

>you step out of the apartment and walk across the hall

>you kinda wonder how and why she walked into your apartment

>from the looks of it, she wasn't seen by anyone else

>39

>there we go

>you knock on the door

"Aye le ti-crisse, open up!" you bellow

>your neighbor from across you is a ruffian who's going to become a good man, you can tell

>little run right now is ten years old and you guys bonded over a few beers a couple months back

>he's like the son you never had

"Anon? What's up?" he says

>little dude is from the english side but he was a good kid so you didn't give him too much shit for it

"Sorry dehr le ti', but can aye borrow yer cat for a little bit?"

>he looks at you, quite perplexed

"Yer kitty, calisse, yer minou! Do aye 'ave to spell eet out?"

>he goes off to look for his cat and asking you

"Why do you need my cat, Anon?"

 

>you're stumped, you don't want to lie to the kid

"Aye'l explane later, oké?" you simply answer

>he comes running back with his really fat, half comatose-looking tabby

>that cat don't give a fuck

>he hands you the overweight, spherical mass of fur with a worried look on his face

"Relaxe, Aye just need eet for a littel bit. Aye'l be gentel, oké?"

>this does not seem to appease his fears

>to you, "gentle" is often a relative concept

>it's not your fault things are so fragile!

>thankfully the blubber-cat doesn't mind being carried around so you don't have to restrain it or anything, you just bend down, make a "shelf" with your arm and the kid puts his cat on it

"See, Eee won't even notice a ting"

>you hurry off back to your apartment

>you try not to burst in the room too much

"Fluttershey, Aye got a friend yew wan' to mee-

>she's not there

>you feel a deep, sinking feeling in your chest

>you feel stupid

>fucking idiot you were, thinking it had been real

>you'd just been working hard, and you'd imagined it or something

>you put the cat on the couch and sit down next to it, careful not to sit on it

>it may be fat but your bulk would turn it into a paté

>you put sit, elbows on knees, head in your hands

>you'd hoped that maybe, maybe there could be something special in your life for once

>not just be the big (mostly) friendly dude

>but no

>tomorrow would be the same

>it would be a nice memory, though

>even if it was short

>you sit up and disturb the cat

>it meows loudly in protest

 

>oh, now it cares enough to lift a paw?

>you set your hands down in your face again

tackaclaptackaclaptackacackallkac-sssrrrrrr

>you lift your head and see Fluttershy come bolting in from the kitchen and skidding to a halt in front of the cat

>frozen for a second, you doubt your eyes even more

"What's wrong Mr. Cat? Oh he just woke you up?" says the little pegasus

>you know that feeling you get when you're hot and you take the first big cold gulp of water or pop

>and you feel the cool spread through your chest from the inside

>at that moment

>you felt it but with warmth

"Fluttershey!" you say, large grin spreading through your beard

>you scoop the pony up and hug it as gently as you can muster

>she squeaks and you put her back down

>oh shit

"Fluttershey, Ayme sorrey, did Aye 'urt yew?"

"N..nno..." she says, barely audibly

>relief washes over you like the warmth you felt before

"Aye tought yew were gone, ey... I 'ad brought you dis 'ere cat, cause Aye know yew like dose little tings"

>she looks at the cat and back at you

"Thanks... Mr... I.. Um... I guess you're not bad after all..."

>you pity the dead that cannot know such joys

"Awrite estie! Dat's wat Ayme tawking aboot!" you exclaim

>she cowers in reflex

"Scuse, crisse, Ay'le watch maye voice..." you say, trying to whisper

"It's okay... I don't mind..." she says

>you start whispering, just in case

"So, wat brings yew over 'ere, aneways" you ask

"I... I don't know what went wrong... I went into the forest..."

 

>she tells you she got lost in the Everfree forest and when she found a clearing, she came out of the small patch of woods behind your apartment building

"There were creatures everywhere and big carriages moving around so I just... Went into the first building I saw... I wanted to hide, I was so scared..." she explains

>you scratch your beard some more

"Mr... Ummm..." she starts

>you haven't even introduced yourself

"Oh! May name is ehh... Anone Dumoulin-sur-Port-de-Mousse" you proudly announce

>she looks at you like you're speaking in another language

"Aye usully just goe bay "Anone Mousse" but may friends call mee "Anone"" you explain

>the craziest thing was that you'd seen even more impressive french names than yours in your day

>"Thierry Dieudonné-Armand Montignac" probably took the award but "Gaetan-Arnold Dupont-Laruelle" was good too

"Mr. Anon... Umm... Why do you know my name?" she asks as carefully as possible

>your beard gets even more attention than before

"Well dis is a bit strange to explayne..." you start

>she looks at you, expecting you to continue

"See, der's dis show on tee-vee wit all yew small p0nies in it, but Aye tought it was all made up. See we people 'ere watch a lot ove made up showes der, fiction, ey? Eets supposed to bee all mayde up..."

>you proceed to try to explain to her how your world works with no magic

>she's pretty weirded out and then just blurts out

"Mr. Anon... How am I going to get back to Equestria if your world has no magic?"

 

>you ponder for a while, stroking your beard

>if there's a way in, there's a way out

"Welle Fluttershey, Aye don't knoe but eef yew got 'ere, dere must be a way to go back... As much as Aye tink yew beyin' 'ere is wonderfule and awl, Ay'le do wateveur Aye can to 'elp." you say

>she smiles, beaming with hope

>the little p0ne warms your chest like no alcohol can

"Why are you going out of your way to help me? I've never really met you before..." she asks

"Yew knoe dat show Aye was talking aboot dere before? Aye don't knoe exactly 'ow close it is to yer reel laives, but to us it reely was good to watch. We peeple 'ere don't 'ave the best laives sometimes, so wee tray to get our minds off our troubles wit stuff like de p0ny show yer in..." you say, as softly as your gruff voice can sound

>Fluttershy seems to hang her head a little

"What about you Anone?" she says

>hooves on your leg, looking concerned

>it's almost like she's troubled by how she'll have to leave you alone again

"Ey Fluttershey, don't yew worry about me!" you say loudly, trying to break the sudden morose air

>well it broke alright

>you startled her again

>now that she's off her plot though

"Come on Fluttershey, let's get yew back 'ome!" you proclaim, standing up

>you grab the cat

"Follow mee!"

>you deliver the cat back to your little bro

"Ere yew go, 'ti-bout"

>he grabs his cat, looking relieved that it isn't damaged

"'Urry up der Fluttershey!" you call

>the pegasus timidly walks past the door

>how's that for an explanation, little guy?

 

>you don't wait around to see what he has to say about it

>you can deal with that later

"Staye close, de roads arent sayfe" you warn

>she nods

>welp, here begins the weird looks

>you start making your way towards the woods

>couple back roads that aren't too traffic heavy

>you look back, she's still right there behind you

>you pick up the pace

>you check on her again a few seconds later

>fuck

"Fluttershey! Were did yew goe?" you call out

>you run back

>small alley between two houses

>bloody yellowquiet is chasing after a squirrel

"Estie'd calisse de tabarnak..." you growl

>she goes around a corner and you lose sight of her

"Fluttershey! Come back, taboire de marde!"

>you chase after her

>you should have kept the cat to lure her or something

>maybe just put the cat on a string in front of her nose like dangling a carrot in front of a mule to get it to move

 

>you turn the corner and see Fluttershy standing there, not moving

“Ey Fluttershey, yew can’t run off like da-

>she’s the only thing standing between you and a great big young moose

>more than a good foot and a half of fresh antlers on him but that didn’t stop the 1000lbs animal from finding its way through the back alleys of your neighborhood to chew on someone’s open garbage bag

“TA-BAR-NAK”

>people don’t realize how big moose are

>even this average one was a good head and a half taller than the largest of horses

>they were also wild animals that are not to be fucked with

>some may wonder how they get around dense brush and trees with their antlers

>the answer is that they don’t get around it

>they get through it

“Fluttershey?”

“Now now Mr. Moose, you know that snorting isn’t polite…” she coos

>she’s trying to talk to the thing

“This is Mr. Anone, he’s my friend okay? He won’t hurt you…”

>she did stuff like that in the show but this was real life

>the moose makes a loud grunt and lowers its head

“GEET BACK DER FLUTTERSHEY, AY’ME TRAINED FER DIS” you bellow

>the moose charges

>you jump in front of her

“OSTIE’D CRISSE” you yell

>you catch the antlers right close to the head

>the moose pushes you a good foot back as you struggle to stop it

“TABOIRE DE CALISSE” you roar

>the moose swings its head to hit you with the antlers but you duck under them and uppercut the beast

>with a few more punches, the moose takes a few dizzy steps and you grab on, jumping on it’s back

 

>Fluttershy just flutters over and lands in front of you

“Okay Mr. Moose, let’s go now” she says

>the towering creature wastes no time

>sheeeyit this thing can move

“‘old on der’ Fluttershey!” you cry whilst struggling to stay on the beast

>she looks back at you like you’re crazy

>she has no trouble remaining steady on the moose

“Ey dat’s no fair yer ‘oosed to ridin’ ‘orses”

>she starts laughing as the moose clears the alleyway

>you start laughing too

>the moose bursts forth onto the street with a pony in front of a great big plaid-wearing motherfucker on top

>all laughing like maniacs

>the moose rears back to avoid a trashcan

>you grab on with one hand, other arm out to maintain your balance

“TAAA-BAAAR-NAAAK” you bellow out

>you all ride the moose back to the woods where Fluttershy came from

>she returns to Equestria and you ride off into the sunset on your moose

 

Today was a Canadian day

------------------------

random vector guy

>You sit yourself on top of the kitchen table

>Sometimes you wonder why you sit here

>You remember twilight saying something about not touching thing

>You can see most of the living room with one eye, and most of the ceiling with the other eye

>Sometimes you forget what you're doing, but that's ok

>Sometimes you end up causing a mess in ponyville but that's ok too

>You know rainbow dash doesn't really mean it when she calls you a dumb fuck

>Why are you on the kitchen table......

"Oh ya"

>You know twilight doesn’t really mean it when she doesn't look at you whenever you talk to her

>You know applejack doesn't mean to make a weird funny face whenever she complements your eyes

>You know rarity doesn’t mean it when she says fancy words, and something about you not needing to wear any clothes when you ask her I if she can make you a pretty dress

>You know pinkie pie doesn't mean it when she says that she won’t make you muffins any more

>You know fluttery doesn't mean it when she hides from you, its like hide and seek, expet she never looks for you

>They just like to play jokes and have fun with you

“Wait.....”

>*Ding*

>The fries are done

>You invited your friends to come over to try out your home made fries

>No one showed up

"More fries for me"

>You say it with a smile, but tears fall from your eyes

>You wonder why that happens

>You think there is a hidden onion somewhere in your house because it happens all that time

>You hope you'll find it one day, so you don't have to cry anymore

>Your fries are crispy black, but that's ok, they still taste good

------------------------

Dichotomy

>It is a bright morning in Canterlot.

>Celestia opens her doors to the world once more to allow the shining sun to envelop her radiant form.

>But she is not greeted by her sun.

>A large orb of fire greets her in the daylight, almost blinding. She covers her eyes, confused.

>"So you are finally awake?"

>Celestia turns to see a strange creature standing behind her.

>He stands upon two appendages, and possesses two more that seem to be holding some sort of needle.

"Who are you?"

>The man laughs. "I have answered this question multiple times, my dear. My name is Dr. Reagan, and before you ask for the hundredth time, you are here as part of an experiment."

"I am no one's lab rat." Celestia sneered.

>She turned back to the open door and growled.

"Besides, can I not just leave?"

>"You may try."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

>"Trying invokes the meaning of both success and possibility of failure. Trial means both a chance of winning and a chance of losing. You are playing chances."

"What are my chances?"

>"Fifty fifty. As is fair." Reagan began drawing some sort of fluid into the needle, his eyes appraising it professionally.

"What is that?!" Celestia backed into the doorway, concerned.

>"It is an amnesiac, a fluid designed to erase the mind to provide an open vaccuum for change. You have been given it many times so that you start each experiment fresh."

"That's disgusting!" Celestia was horrified.

>"Not at all. It's science.."

"Science my flank!" Celestia ran out of the doorway, frightened for her life.

>Reagan calmly sighed, undeterred in his chosen path. She always tried to run. She was given exactly three hours to escape. Perhaps this time she would actually get further than the third doorway?

---

>"What are you talking about? She's actually already at the first doorway?"

>"It's astounding. All of her primary and secondary life functions are working at peak proficiency. Her magical abilities have activated more quickly than before. She may actually succeed this time, sir."

>"Well don't let her fucking do it, boy!" the supervisor roared into the intercom.

>"Sir, it's in the interest of science that she proceeds according to plan. Should she escape, we cannot keep her. This was what the court stated." Reagan replied courteously.

>"I don't give a shit what two-bit beaurucrat said what! She has been our best chance to realize what makes magic in the first place! Her and that purple bitch.."

>"I find your insultation of subjects to be mildly irritating, sir."

>"I find your backtalk to be a good enough reason to fire your ass." the supervisor slammed the phone down.

>Reagan sighed, preparing his clipboard. He stepped towards the glass to observe Celestia at the first gateway.

---

>Celestia admired the door with a bit of curiosity. Here it was, sitting out among nothing but trees and forest.

A huge, electronic lock beeped from the center of the door. Something in the back of the Princess' mind told her that this was important.

>She began to channel. Her horn flared into sunlight.

>A beam of light burst forth from her horn and hit the lock.

>It began to drain the energy. She gasped.

>She tried again, blasting the lock with fire and sunlight.

>This time, the lock began to fizz and pop with sparks and static. The door began to shudder as the remnants of the lock slid down its face, black and melted.

>Celestia proceeded through the door, frightened that Reagan may catch her.

>"Are you fucking SERIOUS?!"

>"Yes sir. She's proceeded past the first gate at phenomenal speeds! It's an astounding result. I'm very pleased!"

>"What are you? A dipshit? We don't WANT her to succeed. Make the tests harder!"

>"Sir that's unfair.."

>"FUCK you, Victor! Quit trying to be the nice guy and realize this is for the good of humanity! Could you imagine a world where people can just heal each other with a touch of the hand? We may even be able to bring back the goddamn DEAD."

>"We do not enter those territories sir. It is taboo."

>"Taboo for religious assholes. Not for us. We dedicated our lives to the betterment of mankind, and sometimes that means being a dick."

>"But not to her, sir!" Reagan pleaded.

>"You've been the one with the needle Reagan. If you don't do this and she escapes, you may be charged with animal cruelty."

>"She isn't an animal." Reagan growled, but turned back to the glass, furious.

>"She's an equine. She's an animal. Get the fuck over it." Supervisor yelled, slamming down the phone again, this time with a bit more force.

>"Whatever you say... sir."

--

>Celestia gasped for air. She had been running for quite a while. She couldn't stand it. She'd need to rest soon.

>She laid down upon the ground, curling her forelegs under her body and her hind end down upon the ground. Her wings shrouded her form delicately.

>Reagan could only sit and stare as she did so, and something within him began to stir.

>Something about those children's stories.. the ones when he was younger.

>The ones he read before he damned himself to this existence.

>Reagan had finally had enough. He grabbed the table behind him, covered in his research equipment, and hurled it into the glass window.

>The trees shattered and Celestia stared with fear as Reagan breathed deeply from behind the broken glass.

>"You are free." he whispered as the alarms began to blare in his ears. "Get the hell out of here. Just go."

"How can I trust you?" Celestia asked, standing upon her legs as regally as possible.

>"You can't." he admitted, walking towards her. "But you cannot stay here. I have done too much wrong for this to atone for it, but maybe this is a start. Go now, find Twilight. We will free her as well."

"She's here?!" Celestia gaped. "What kind of place is this?!"

>Reagan grabbed her and lifted her upon his shoulders carefully.

>"There's no time to explain. Just fucking MOVE!"

>Victor Reagan had just gone again all of his principles.

>Victor Reagan had just broken the glass to save a research subject.

>Victor Reagan had just violated several rules.

>Victor.. Victor.. Victor. We had such high hopes for you.

>"Bring him down. He has gone rogue." the supervisor demanded, alarms going off all around him. "I knew it was a bad idea to give him the chance to do so. Bastard."

--

>Reagan ran through the facility, Celestia trying hard to regain her breath as she sat upon his shoulders.

"Where are we even going?!" she implored him, her hair continuing to sway as they ran.

>"Safety. There's a bunker below the lab for nuclear testing protection. I'm one of the only besides the supervisor with eyes who can open the door." he gritted his teeth. "Unless he comes down himself, we'll be safe for a while. Most of the rest of the equine test subjects are down there as well, awaiting research."

"Why have you been doing this?!" Celestia demanded.

>"It's very complicated, and horrific." Victor admitted. "Just be calm."

>Victor and Celestia continued down the path to the protection bunker.

>Behind them, the alarms increased in intensity.

>Suddenly, gunfire could be heard as two guard began to shoot at them.

>Celestia groaned in pain as a bullet penetrated her left back hoof and grazed Victor's shoulder.

>"YOU FUCKS!" Victor turned, drawing his own magnum from his pocket. "LEAVE US BE! YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE!"

>He fired off the full clip, killing one of the two men and leaving him a bloody heap upon the floor. The other grabbed his shoulder and ran to his comrade's side. He began calling for backup.

"You killed.. one of your own...?" Celestia gaped, frightened. "But why?"

>"They are not of my kind anymore, though I was once of theirs. It is a choice I regret." he muttered calmly, patting her to comfort her.

>They continued down the path, descending further into the complex.

>They finally came to a stop, Victor a mass of ragged breath, Celestia asleep upon his shoulders from the blood loss.

>"I promised myself that I would never harm them beyond what was necessary." he held her aloft, staring her into the face. Her mane looked drained of life. He frowned, close to breaking down and sobbing.

>"God, what have I done to you?" he whispered, holding the equine close upon the floor. "I won't allow this to happen again."

>He patted her softly to wake her up while he bandaged up her damaged hoof with his own bloody lab coat. He wouldn't need it anymore.

>"Go through here. Claim your friends. There is an exit in the back of the bunker for emergencies. Pull the lever and leave." he smiled as he told her, patting her small forehead with his blood-soaked hand.

"But what about you?" she asked, confused.

>"I will stay behind and keep you covered for as long as I can." he promised. He walked over the retinal scanner and placed his face upon it. Soon, the bunker's locks began to creak to life as the massive door came to a rest, the alarms for its opening going off frantically.

>"Go now. Be safe." he whispered.

"You're coming with us!" she begged, grabbing onto his leg. "Where would we go when we're safe?"

>"That's your choice. Perhaps back home.." he began, but then looked at her with a new face.

>Celestia was ragged, pale, and devoid of the normally regal look that covered her every day of her life. Her mane was pink again, her powers weak by the blood-loss.

>He could not leave her to die. He lifted her back upon his shoulders and headed into the bunker.

>As the men behind followed to chase them, the massive door came to a close, shut for another five hours.

>"FUCK you Victor.." the supervisor slammed the wall with his fist in anger as he heard the news. "Fuck you."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWZr2F0qohA

>In the darkness of the bunker, Victor flipped a small switch.

>A horde of lights came on, illuminating the chamber and the two inhabitants.

"Where are the other ponies?" Celestia asked weakly.

>"Deeper in. In the containment area." Victor responded, sliding down against the door. He placed Celestia in his lap, then put his hands by his sides.

>"God I'm tired.."

>Celestia stood slowly and walked over towards the direction of the other end of the bunker.

>"Where are you going?" Victor asked, exhausted.

"To look for my beloved little ponies." Celestia responded, continuing to walk.

>"You're still bleeding. You can't go alone." Victor stood shakily to his feet. "If you do, you'll accelerate the blood loss."

"But I cannot leave them."

>"Do not worry.." Victor hoisted her back upon his back comfortably. "We'll find them."

>Victor continued through the depths of the bunker. Upon the walls around them were notes and pieces of research equipment.

>He sighed with rememberance of what he had done here.

"So how many ponies are down here?"

>"All of them." Victor replied. "Well, as far as I know of."

"Twilight? Applejack? Rainbow?" Celestia asked eagerly.

>"Indeed. There were ten in all." Victor replied, stepping over a fallen table.

"Why is no one else down here?"

>"The bunker was abandoned to make room as a keeping facility for new experiments- I mean, ponies. A few new ones appeared, adding up to ten. You were one of the original two.. you and Luna."

"Why cannot I remember any of this?"

>"Multiple doses of amnesiac serum. Your minds, sadly, are riddled with it. It will relieve itself soon, but I'm not sure you want it to."

"Why not?"

>"Our experiments..." Victor began.

---

>"I WANT THIS FUCKING THING OPEN NOW!" the supervisor yelled as he entered the room.

>"Well sir that's impossible." A guard replied. "Per your orders, the bunker may only be opened every five hours.."

>"Bullshit! Change it!"

>"Sir we can't change anything until it's operable again. Victor knew this." the guard replied sadly, typing a few keys into the monitor. "We have to wait."

"That's horrifying! And you're ALLOWED to do that?" Celestia coughed.

>"No. These experiments took place in secret. The only ones who know only know that you're a new species of creature."

"?"

>"I..I was the one who found you two, the first two, in the middle of a field near here. However, one of my coworkers was nearby and immediately reported your presence to my supervisor, Dr. Vale. I could do nothing but watch as they tied you both to a truck and shipped you here... but I did get a place as the one who tested upon you all." he patted her gingerly. "I tried to make it as painless as possible, even when we had to test endurance."

"How could you ever.." Celestia began to say.

>Suddenly, they came to a stop. They were in the center of a wide hallway, cages on both sides.

>"They should be asleep now. Tranquilizers. Well, most of them anyway.."

"PRINCESS?!"

"Rainbow!?" Celestia yelled back suddenly, filled with new vigor.

>"She was very adaptive. Tranquilizers did almost nothing to hold her down.

>Rainbow jumped against the bars of her cage, her wings flapping merrily.

"Where has she been? And who's that guy!?" Rainbow pointed curiously. "And where are we?"

"All questions to be answered in due time, little one." Celestia patted her head through the bars. "But for now, we must plan on escape."

------------------------

Revolver

>You are Anon

>Drinking energy drink to stay awake has not suited you well this trip

>Now you're in this rest stop bathroom trying to not fall over while taking a piss

>It seems wise to stop here and gather yourself

>But you're so tired with the crash from all the energy drink

>The answer?

>More energy drink

>It's a vicious cycle

>You lean back to not manage to fall asleep in the urinal

>As you do, a concussive *bang* from behind hurls you against the wall

>It's what you imagine getting hit with a grenade feels like

>Save for the shrapnel, but you'll happily pass up that part of the experience

>For a moment, you just lie there, fairly certain of now having a concussion

>Rolling the head around, you see a small crater in the center of the room

>The stalls around it are flattened and pushed outwards from the center

>Getting to your feet you rub your aching temples, looking through the smoke for the source

>Was it terrorists?

>Did Al-Qaeda target a rest stop bathroom?

>…probably not

>It's easy. TOO easy

>Your suspicion is confirmed when you find not a gun toting terrorist

>But a horse…thing

>The size, color, and horn sticking out of its head throw you off

>Kneeling down after approaching the…unicorn, you suppose, you look up and down it

>The mint green coat is covered with mud and dirt

>The bags she has atop her fair no better, in the same dirty condition

>A little harp sits on it's posterior

>Out of curiosity you cautiously rub your hand over it

>It's embedded into the coat, it seems, like it's dyed in

>The small horse groans and coughs, breathing a bit more labored

>You know you shouldn't do what you're about to do

>But by Odin's beard, you can't leave this horse in a rest stop bathroom!

 

>You reach around its waist and pick it up, eventually tossing it over your shoulder

>After pushing open the door and looking around, the coast is clear

>A quick sprint sends you making haste to your target

>The Accord you proudly refer to as the "Pussy Wagon"

>Setting her on the top of the hood, you open the back door and begin to push over the boxes and crates, moving them wherever to make room

>After that and a quick installation of a pillow against them, you get out of the car

>A turn to her fixes you in place in a state of disbelief

>Making eye contact now with a unicorn, awake, and certainly aware of your presence

>The issue is that it's not the same one

>After a moment of simply staring each other down, you break the silence

"Hey?"

>The words coming from your mouth send her gasping and reeling back

>Off of her bundles she falls, losing her ballast she had on the hood

>As you step ahead, she shuffles back, leaning ahead and bringing her horn to glow

>"Stay back!" She hollers

"No! I'm not trying to hurt you!" You give a hushed yell

>After a moment of tense silence the horn loses its glow

>"Why were you trying to take Lyra then?" She asks, obviously unsure, but you're happy she's willing to listen

"I'm not about to leave some poor busted up horse in a bathroom like that."

>You furrow the brows as you speak but your eyes widen at a sudden realization

"Shit!" You exclaim, sending you shuffling away from her

>Such a commotion scares the soul out of her

>"What?!"

"You're talking!"

>She looks slightly angry you scared her for such a thing like that

 

>"Of course I can talk! You don't see me throwing a fit because some weird Minotaur is talking to me!"

>You can feel your brows raise as you release a giggle

"Minotaur? Call me a human, please."

>"Alright then, human it is."

>The silence begins once again before you break it

"Look, whatever the case is I don't think I need to leave two talking unicorns alone in the middle of nowhere."

>After you scoot back ahead and take a knee, reasoning is your next tactic

"Please, let me help you, however strange my request is I'd rather not leave another being here."

>She lowers her head, running options through her head

>There's nothing she can use to argue against it

>"Where are we?" She asks, turning her head up

"You're at a rest stop next to I-95."

>It seems to go right over her head, and with a slight tremble she keeps questioning

>"Is that next to Equestria?"

>It's disheartening news you can imagine, but you can't exactly lie

"Not at all. I don't even think there is an Equestria anywhere."

>She's taken aback and at a loss of words, but the shock in her face says it all

>Shuffling ahead slightly you lean down, still at a decent distance

"Just come with me. I can't take no for an answer."

>Filled with doubt, disappointment, amongst other things, she accepts

>"I can't really say no."

>With that, you stand, the mint horse on your hood back in your grasp as you take her to the backseat

>After taking her bags off and resting them on the floor, you lie her in the seat

>With the blue one in tow, you pop open the passenger side door

>A move of the backpack down to the floor and a pat on the seat, she climbs in

>After she gets into the seat, you slam it shut and get in your own seat

>Off you go, continuing your drive southbound, two more passengers

 

>The drive is immensely silent, and neither of you do nothing in terms of speaking

>It's unbearable, and it's your duty to put a stop to it!

"How about some music? Do you like music?"

>She recovered from her disheartened state and simply fell into silence

>But it seems your question is getting a response out of her

>"Okay. Do you play an instrument or something?"

"No, but these guys do."

>In you plug your phone, tracing through your music selection

>'Take On Me' by the A-Ha begins on your speakers

>The sudden ubiquitous sound startles her slightly

>As the music begins, she simply recedes back into her seat

>The lyrics come to you and you follow them, singing with the song in the car

>In an effort to lighten the mood you begin to shuffle back and forth, rocking your shoulders

>The horse has a small grin on her face, a brow raised as she shakes her head

>As the song goes through you continue to the end, turning to her as you turn down the music

"Well? You liked the song?"

>She gives a slight giggle as she nods, only widening your own grin to know you're making her feel better in some manner

>"It was your dancing that did it, though, Human."

"I have a name, y'know. Anon's the name."

>"Alright, Anon. My name is Minuette."

>A small nod from you and a bow of the head is returned from her

"Nice to have a formal meeting."

>From the quiet meeting screeches in another voice

>"And I'm Lyra!"

>Holy shit

>After a swerve in the road shifting you three to the left, you stop in the emergency lane you look back

>There's the mint one, Lyra it seems

>She's holding onto a box to avoid being tossed around

>L: "Can I get out of this carriage?"

>After you begin driving once more you explain what you told to Minuette at the rest stop

>L: "Oh! Well darn, thanks for keeping me off a dirty floor!"

>If you didn't know any better you would think she was being sarcastic

 

>The suspicion diminishes as you turn back to see a genuine smile on her face

"Don't mention it, I suppose."

>After the more relaxed state of the duo in your car becomes, you begin to talk

>Lyra does much of it, talking a hole into your head about Equestria

>The Princesses and their duties, the story of the unification of their species, the 'cutie mark.'

>You don't interrupt her, it's one of the reasons you're not falling asleep

>As the sun begins to beam it's rays over the clear horizon, she silences, watching it come up intently

>L: "Why is it so slow? Is something wrong with it?"

"I certainly hope not but its the same that its always been, I think."

>You give an explanation to the best if your knowledge, part of it shocks her

>L: "If no one controls it what happens if it comes too close!? You'd burn up!"

"I don't think that's how it works, it's never been a problem before."

>That settles her as much as an answer can, it seems, and she returns to watching it come up

>After a turn she fastens in place, but the less sudden shift doesn't startle her

>It doesn't awaken your sleeping passenger either

>Minuette having since fallen asleep to Lyra's droning and Lyra's conversation ending has left you to your thoughts

>And you're thinking if how hungry you are

>The reason for turning off at this exit comes into view as the Golden Arches dominate the view from the highway

>No wait in line, good so far

>A small exchange between you and the drive thru worker

>You pull up and hand her the card, and while she hands it back, she stops in place

>Wondering what's shocking her you look back, two ponies locking eyes with her

>Oh yeah…you did have those in the car

>Come on brain get your head in the game in the head

>You do the next logical thing

>A slam on the gas and a grab if the card sends you screeching back onto the Avenue

>Your two occupants yell as you Tokyo Drift style out of there and to I-4

>Okay, maybe you should just eat when you get to the apartment

 

>You turn on the music as a distraction, sifting through the stations whenever you can

>The passengers are left in conversation, speaking to each other

>Eavesdropping isn't your thing, and you gladly keep your ears out

>After sifting enough and doing the deed, a hoof prods your side

>M: "Can you please shut off your music, Anon?"

>A fair enough request, and pressing onto the volume button you mute the radio

"What's wrong?"

>M: "She just needs some silence."

>Turning your head you find Lyra holding a harp, presumably hidden in the bags she had on her

>Before you can ask, she shuts her eyes and suspends it in midair, a gold hue covering it

>The strings are plucked and sound is made, a gentle rhythm filling the car

>You turn your attention wholly to driving once more, certainly happy to let her continue

>Only the ambient noise of the vehicle and the harp fill the air

>Time melts down to nothingness and the rest of the ride is smooth to the apartment

>She keeps playing as you turn off the car, Minuette in the front seat lying on her stomach, waving her head to the melody

>Lyra in the back plucking away at her instrument

> The parking lot has some cars, but no people to get suspicious about the noise coming from the Accord

>Everything is silent for now

>That quickly changes to 'was'

>?: "Hey, shithead!"

>Yep, it's him alright

>Up you turn your head, locking eyes with the man on the balcony on the third floor

>Antonio

>Your roommate

 

>You turn on the music as a distraction, sifting through the stations whenever you can

>The passengers are left in conversation, speaking to each other

>Eavesdropping isn't your thing, and you gladly keep your ears out

>After sifting enough and doing the deed, a hoof prods your side

>M: "Can you please shut off your music, Anon?"

>A fair enough request, and pressing onto the volume button you mute the radio

"What's wrong?"

>M: "She just needs some silence."

>Turning your head you find Lyra holding a harp, presumably hidden in the bags she had on her

>Before you can ask, she shuts her eyes and suspends it in midair, a gold hue covering it

>The strings are plucked and sound is made, a gentle rhythm filling the car

>You turn your attention wholly to driving once more, certainly happy to let her continue

>Only the ambient noise of the vehicle and the harp fill the air

>Time melts down to nothingness and the rest of the ride is smooth to the apartment

>She keeps playing as you turn off the car, Minuette in the front seat lying on her stomach, waving her head to the melody

>Lyra in the back plucking away at her instrument

> The parking lot has some cars, but no people to get suspicious about the noise coming from the Accord

>Everything is silent for now

>That quickly changes to 'was'

>?: "Hey, shithead!"

>Yep, it's him alright

>Up you turn your head, locking eyes with the man on the balcony on the third floor

>Antonio

>Your roommate

 

>A: "Goddamn that's cute." He cackles as she leans against his hand

>The scene is certainly better than expected, and you breathe an immense sigh of relief

>Stepping up you pull your roommate to the side

>This leaves Lyra disappointed that the scratching has ceased, frowning as you pull him away

"I'll give him back soon."

>The answer brings a smile to her face, and she goes on her way into the kitchen with Minuette

>The two begin a self guided tour of this place as you step out to the balcony

>It's not in his nature to stay quiet for long, and as soon as the slider shuts Antonio speaks

>A: "Welcome to the Sunshine State, buddy!" He pats your back, nearly knocking you over the ledge you lean on

>The most tired glare ever meets him before you rest your head to the stucco

"How can you be so nonchalant about this?! Two unicorns sitting in your living room?"

>A: "Man! I work with animal control. You know some little horses are gonna be a fresh change of pace from gators in retention ponds!"

>The loud laughing comes in again, trembling your head

>A: "Besides, are they really that much trouble?"

"How the hell should I know? I met them a few hours ago."

>He shrugs, leaning back over the ledge with you, watching the sun rise over the suburbs

>A: "Thought you'd be here later."

"Ended up leaving early, never got any sleep along the way."

>A: "Just get some rest," he steps back, opening the sliding glass again

>Not long after you come as well, shutting it one final time before you go to your respective bedroom

>Food can wait

>Flopping into the bed, you shit your eyes, well deserved sleep gripping you with no fight

 

>A shift in bed soon signals your awakening

>A dirty pair of clothes on, empty stomach, but it feels good to get some sleep

>Opening your eyes you're met with a stabbing at your forehead

>Reeling back you find the blue one, Minuette, in bed with you

>Looking over her you're happy to see she is cleaned up rather than dirtying up your bed

>You shift as smoothly as you can from there and make your half, still leaving her snug in place

>Checking your phone, the time is 4:45, Saturday thankfully

>Standing and walking into the hall you hear a commotion, yelling and gunshots, explosions thudding

>Walking down and around the corner, you see Antonio tossing himself around the couch

>On the cushion next to him is Lyra, holding a controller in her hooves

>She's moving the analog sticks and bumpers with her magic

>On the screen, a split screen of a match Call of Duty

>Certainly not what you expected to find, but your bags and boxes are stacked in your room

>The occupants with you and, at your feet, Lyra's saddlebags, are cleaned off

>Everything is A-Okay

>The rest of the day is spent cleaning your car, bathing, unpacking, and thankfully, getting dinner

>Going out is nice enough, giving you some time with yourself, and you find a supermarket

>A rotisserie chicken and Mac n' Cheese for you and Antonio, a Spinach Quiche for the ponies

>A backup is simply two packs of a quick make salad, but you guess no meat, at least

>Everything is normal enough now that you're out and about

>Until you're stopped on a small back road heading home

>The line moves slow enough, and you accredit it to an accident, though you pull up to the cause, and this isn't the case

>Stopped at this intersection is a police officer directing traffic

>One of the four streets at the intersection is closed off, a large SWAT truck blocking one end

>An olive painted Humvee is on the other end of the road by the intersection further down

 

>You have never been a more rule abiding citizen before than you had at that moment.

>No incident, much to your satisfaction. With that, you're home, shutting the door and breathing a have sigh of relief.

>L: "C'mon, c'mon!"

>Lyra is yelling, having a standoff with an enemy sniper, exchanging rifle bullets with him.

>Antonio cheers her on as her character runs to a new position.

>A: "You pop this loser in his dome! Get 'im!"

>You can't help but crack a smile at these two, and make your way to the kitchen.

>Whilst walking across the screen, you roll your eyes down in time to see the character of her's drop to the ground.

>A simultaneous groan of disappointment comes from the gaming pair.

>A kick to your side from Antonio sends you out of the way of the television, the shit-talking teammates and enemies alike blaring from the speaker.

>You set out the food and warm up what needs to be nuked in the mic.

>Grabbing your portion of chicken, you decide take a piece for the sleeping pony.

"Food is out and ready to go."

>A: "Uh huh."

>L: "Thank you!"

>With that you leave to your room once more.

>Minuette is in the adjacent bathroom has managed to find a brush, humming as she combs out her mane.

>A knock alerts her to your presence, and she turns to face you.

"Food, hot and ready."

>You place it on the bedside table as she nods, flashing a grin.

>You turn, but not before she stops you.

>M: "Anon!" She takes a small pause, "Thanks."

>A smile in return and a small wave and you're off, shutting the door to a small makeshift office.

>Down you set your food, and up you open the laptop.

>There's some stuff to be done if this will work out.

------------------------

Fargone

>Working as a smuggler in South Carolina, moving illegal drugs in and out of the ports.

>Buddy calls me up at about 11 pm, telling me we have a late shipment coming in, and I have to help them work security at the port while he moves in the shipment.

>Whatever, might as well.

>Go down to port with my step-brother. It's a good sized yacht, but we clear it out in about an hour.

>Down in the cargo hold my step-bro calls up to me.

>"Hey Francisco, we got a crate down here, but there isn't any product in it. There might be an animal in here.

>I yell back: "Dude quit being a pansy and open the box."

>"No way, this thing is jumping in the box.

>Whatever, I get my knife and move downstairs.

>I see the package, it's about 5-feet tall and two-feet wide.

>"Go upstairs man, it might be dangerous."

>He runs right out.

>I jam the knife under the lid and pop it open.

> look in it and can't believe what I'm looking at.

>I recognize the shape instantly as Applejack, and take a step back.

>How could this be true? She's a fictional character right? How could there be a real, flesh and blood pony right in front of me.

>I didn't care about that now, I had a real pony, and this was a completely new situation.

------------------------

FreeBeer

>You are in a fortified bunker, hoping against hope that the menace that is destroying Nazi Germany will slow down or even stopped with this final desperate assault.

>Krebs, your loyal map pointer, was demonstrating what is going on currently in the front lines of the Nazi defense force.

>"The enemy has made a breakthrough along a wide front."

>"In the south, they took Zossen and are advancing towards Stahnsdorf."

>"They are at the northern city border between Frohnau and Pankow."

>"In the east, they reached Lichtenberg, Mahlsdorf, and Karishorst."

>You stand up

"Steiner's assault will bring it under control."

>This should buy you some time. And then you can put off your feelings of failure and the pain of consequence for a few more nights.

>Map Pointer guy was trying to say something though.

>"My Fuhrer"

>"Steiner..."

>He sputtered to no avail, so Jodl has to finish him.

>"Steiner could not mobilize enough men."

>"He wasn't able to carry out his assault."

>Are you fucking kidding me?

>Placing off the glasses to the side, you notice the shaking of your fingers.

>So much for having a good day today.

"The following people will stay here: Keitel, Jodl, Krebs, and Buchdorf."

>True to your command, the rest leave.

>Tension hangs in the air, and you are the butterknife ready to slice.

"That was an order!"

"STEINER'S ATTACK WAS AN ORDER!!!"

"Who do you think you are to dare to disobey an order that I give?!"

"Is this what it has come to?!"

"The military has been lying to me!!"

"Everybody has been lying ot me. Even the SS!"

"Our generals are just a bunch of contemptable, disloyal, cowards!"

>Of course, Burgdorf had to say something. "My Fuhrer, I cannot allow you to insult the soldiers!"

 

>Stupid ass. If only he took this situation as seriously as he took his liquor.

"THEY ARE COWARDS, TRAITORS, AND FAILURES!!"

>Burgdorf did not get the hint. "My Fuhrer, this is outrageous!"

>We were at war with an enemy that seemed unstoppable, with seemingly unlimited resources. Nothing can be more outrageous than that.

"The generals are the scum of the German people!"

>Throwing down the pen in your hand, you continue to rant.

"Not a shred of honor!"

"They call themselves generals! Years at the military academy just to learn how to hold a knife and fork!"

"For years, the military has hindered my plans!"

"They've put every kind of obstacle in my way!"

"What I should have done is liquidate all the high-ranking officers, as Stalin did!"

>All that yelling made you tired. You decide to take a seat before clarifying your point.

"I never attended the academy."

"Yet I have conquered Europe all by myself!"

>A moment of silence escapes before continuing.

"Traitors!"

>You hunker down, talking to yourself more than those pigs who call themselves people.

"I have been betrayed and deceived from the very beginning!"

"What a monstrous betrayal of the German people!"

"But all those traitors will PAY!"

"They will pay with their own blood!"

"THEY SHALL DROWN IN THEIR OWN BLOOD!!"

>With your voice nearly hoarse, you mutter as if to yourself.

"My orders have fallen on deaf ears."

"Under these circumstances, I am no longer able to lead..."

"It is over."

>Your unwilling audience looks to each other, thinking of yourself as the unreasonable one. Idiots.

"The war... is lost."

>Burgdorf tugs on his collar. Not that will do anything.

"But gentlemen. If you believe that I am going to let that overgrown pony rape me."

"You are seriously mistaken. I'd rather blow my brains out."

>No fucks were given now. It was either sunbutt or death.

>You knew which one to take.

"Do whatever you like."

------------------------