Title:           NmC Norman may Cry
Author:          Parasite_Steve
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/1813f8vM
First Edit:      Thursday 1st of August 2013 02:05:03 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 1st of August 2013 02:05:03 PM CDT

>I'm today's date, you ugly sack of shit!
>Be Normal Norman.
>It's the first class of the day.
>"Alright class, today we have a transfer student!"
>The class whispers to each other.
>Transfer student, eh? Looks like you get to show someone the ropes for once.
>"Alright, you can come in now!"
>A guy with white hair, a mostly black and some red coat, and a grey undershirt enters.
>"Please introduce yourself."
>"My name is Dante."
>He takes a piece of chalk and writes...
>FUCK YOU.
>Well, that's one way to start class.
>The teacher looks stunned, before taking an eraser, and wiping the writing off the board.
>The damage done, the pain subsides, and you can see the fear clear when you look in her eye.
>"Well...how about you set there?"
>She points to the seat next to you.
>You suppose you have wanted a desk bro, so you can't complain.
>He walks to the seat and plops down.
"Uh, hi. I'm Norman."
>"I'm your prom date, you ugly sack of shit."
>What a piece of sh-
>Is he smoking?
>The teacher coughs, before glaring at Dante.
>"Dante, there is no tobacco allowed on school grounds!"
>"Fuck you!"
>"That's it, Principal Celestia is getting a ca-"
>Did he just uppercut your homeroom teacher, knocking her out?
>"So which of you mutants wants to order an esk?"
"Don't you mean a desk?"
>"What?"
"You mean a desk, right?"
>"I can't hear you!"
>You breathe in, preparing to yell.
>"He said, don't you mean desk?"
>"What do you mean?"
>Thank you, Purple Smart.
>"There's a D missing."
>"You'll get that later."
>Did he just wink at her?
>Everyone then remembers that they were called mutants.
>"Up yours too, skinhead!"
>"Check your privilege."
>"I wasn't even supposed to be here today!"
>He just smiles before flipping them all off.
>Today will be an interesting day.
 
>Lunch time, BITCH!
>It's pizza day!
>You grab a greasy slice of pepperoni and sit next to your bro.
>"Norman my man!"
"Hey, Brad."
>You fist each other as you sit down.
>"So how about that new guy, eh? What was his name...Donte?"
"Dante."
>"Oh, right. Kind of a punk, huh?"
"Kind of?"
>You two exchange a bro-tier laugh, not noticing how sharp everything just became.
>You cut yourself on nothing from the pure edge, and examine the source.
>Fucking Dante.
"Dante! Look what you did!"
>You raise your finger in the air, and he looks at it.
>"What, should I kiss it and make it all better?"
>#shotsfired
"A 'sorry for being edge personified' would be nice!"
>"Fine, sorry you can't handle my style."
>You fail to contain your laughter.
>"Why are you laughing?"
>After a minute, you calm down.
"You, or style. Pick one."
>He glares at you, and walks to you.
>You nervously turn to Brad, who gives you an "I got your back" nod.
>Based Brad.
>Dante reaches his destination, takes his lunch, a slice of pizza, and bitchslaps you with it.
>That actually hurt.
>You stand up to him and knock his teeth in with a haymaker.
>He reels for a moment, before dropkicking you in the gut.
>You begin to get up when a sword is at your neck.
>Where did he get that...?
>Not that you'll know. G'over.
>You close your eyes in acceptance. So ends the story of Normal Norman. Time for your last words, you suppose:
"My greatest dream is a world without feminists."
>Any time now.
>It never comes, because Brad is too busy kicking Dante's ass.
"Thank you based Brad."
>He gives you a thumbs up as he crouches to dodge a spin kick.
>You better cheese it.
 
>One run later, you find yourself at Principal Celestia's office.
>The door opens before you knock on it.
>"Norman? Are you being bullied again?"
>Good old Celestia, always watching out for you.
"Sorta. You know that new student, right?"
>"Dante? Yes, why?"
"Well, where to begin..."
 
>One story later, Celestia looks like she's about to drop bombs.
>"I'll deal with him myself. Thank you for telling me this, Norman."
"Eh, I'm just trying my best to not die."
>"Aren't we all?"
>Indeed.
 
>You find yourself in class after talking to Celestia.
>In the middle of the lecture, Dante arrives, and boy does he look unhappy.
>"Ah, Dante. Have a seat next to-"
>He sits next to Rarity, legs propped on his desk.
>"...That'll work."
>The teacher continues the lecture, as you jot down notes, feeling like your life could end at any moment.
>You then realize someone else is watching you. The girl next to you, Octavia.
>"Is something the matter, Norman?"
"If nearly dying is something, there you go."
>She flinches a bit.
>"Err...do you want to talk about it?"
"Do you think I want to remember a traumatic event?"
>"My apologies, I never had to talk about things like this before. Honestly, before you came here? I didn't really talk to anyone..."
>"But I'm glad," she mumbles, smiling slightly.
"Huh?"
>"Nothing impor-"
>SUDDENLY BLONDE WITH AMAZING RACK.
>You fail to notice Octavia frowning at you as you ogle the lady, who tosses Dante a candy bar.
>"Dante. Eat a Snickers."
>"Why?"
>"You turn into a 12 year old's idea of cool when you're hungry."
>He eats it, and the transformation almost makes you blind from the sheer manliness.
>"Better?"
>"Better. Now what am I doing here?"
>"Remember? 12 year old's idea of cool?"
>"Oh, right. I suppose I should leave."
>"Considering we just got a call..."
>This gets his attention as he jumps across the room with SMOKIN' SICK STYLE!
>"Let's rock, babe!"
>The two then run off.
You're not you when you're hungry.
Snickers satisfies.
 
END