Title:           Lyra Hates Me
Author:          Parasite_Steve
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/kQziPJsn
First Edit:      Sunday 3rd of March 2013 07:22:29 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 3rd of March 2013 07:22:29 PM CDT

"Lyra...I..."
>"I don't care! You are the most miserable, boring human alive!"
>Where the hell was this coming from?
>"You always HAVE to complain about how sad you are, but you never even bother to do ANYTHING about it!"
>I kept listening in shock.
>"If this is what humans are like, then I wish I had never met one!"
"...Up yours too, you obnoxious little twat."
>"I can't take you seriously when you're crying."
>Something inside me snapped.
I reached out and slapped her upside the head.
"Shut the fuck up, and go back to your lesbo friend!"
>"I will! I mean, Bon Bon and I are just friends!"
"You actually admitted it, you stupid sack of shit."
>Angry tears form in her eyes.
>"I hope you get sent to the moon."
"At least I'll be away from you."
>I say this as I stand up, walking away.
 
>As soon as I get home, it sinks in.
>I'm never going to see Lyra again.
>I begin to cry even more, collapsing on the couch.
>After crying for a while, I stand up, still sobbing.
>I get up, walking to the fridge.
>So many bottles of booze, even Berry Punch would be jealous.
>I pull out a random bottle, opening it, and chugging.
>That's the stuff.
>After drinking about a quarter of what was left(not much), I placed it back in the fridge.
>I turned to the wall behind me, where there was a single poster.
>It was the "DON'T FORGET, YOU'RE HERE FOREVER" poster from that one episode of The Simpsons.
>Now, it said "DO IT FOR HER", due to some of the letters being covered by pictures of Lyra.
>I walked up to the wall, and tore off a picture.
>I ripped it in half, then again, and again, and again.
>I threw the pieces behind me, and repeated the process.
>I owed her nothing. I felt free.
>At least, until the original message appeared.
 
"Don't forget, you're here forever."
>It was true. No matter what, I was stuck in Equestria.
>Like the 101st Vault, no man entered, and no man leaves.
>Then again, the Lone Wanderer entered and escaped the Vault.
>Then, I got an idea.
>A sick, selfish idea that I probably got from the booze.
>But a good idea, I believed.
> I'll just escape Equestria my way.
>I walked to my room, and fumbled around in my dresser.
>Eventually I found it, a .45 magnum.
>And the one bullet was still in there.
>I held the gun up to my forehead, and pulled the trigger.