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The Last Son of Dublin: Chapter IV

By: PaleNarrator on Jul 21st, 2012 | syntax: None | size: 27.17 KB | hits: 554 | expires: Never

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDSud7vAH_0&feature=related
>”Anon.”
“Fuck off, I’m sleeping.”
>Twilight knocked on your basement door once more, trying to jiggle the handle with her magic.
>She wouldn’t be getting in this time; you’ve locked the door and hidden the key.
>”Anon open up, I have to talk to you about something.”
“It can wait. Stop shouting so much, you’re hurting our ears.”
>”It’s important and I really need to-… ‘our’ ears?”
>”I wasn’t expecting her to be up this early on a weekend.”
“Neither was I, love.”
>You roll out of bed, slipping your boxers back on as you do, and walk towards the door.
>”I heard a voice in there. Do you-… do you have someone in your room with you?”
“Yup.”
>”Who could you possibly have over here at this time of day?”
“Rarity.”
>There’s a pause at the door as you unlatch it with the key you hid under one of the stairs.
>When you open up, Twilight is staring deadpan and wide eyed at you.
>”There is no way that Rarity is down there.”
>You step to the side and allow Twilight to pass, trotting down the stairs and into your basement.
>She freezes at the bottom of the stairs when she sees what’s laying in your bed.
>”…Rarity?”
>”Good morning Twilight. How are you today?”
>”I’m… good… what are you doing here.”
“She stayed the night.”
>”…oh Rarity you didn’t-“
>Rarity gives a polite laugh, pawing at her usually neat and tidy mane as she tried to straighten some of it out.
>”Afraid so. He’s quite the charmer, Twilight. He’s been blessed with a silver tongue.”
>Twilight groans.
>”I don’t think I need to hear about his tongue, thank you very much.”
>Rarity sways her mane back and hops out of your bed, sauntering over to you.
>”Anon, darling, I had a delightful time last night. Though I think you’re well aware.”
>Twi makes an audible groan, while you pour yourself a glass of whiskey.
>”Any chance we’ll be able to get better acquainted some other time?”
“Probably not, no. The cellar door is unlocked, by the way.”
>She looks at you for a couple of seconds, unsure of what you mean.
>You nod towards the cellar door.
“Off you go.”
>”Oh. Well, alright then. Maybe some other time?”
“Yeah, no.”
>You show her to the door and let her out of the library.
>”Call me?”
“Not happening.”
>Closing the door, you finally take a sip of your drink.
>Twilight clears her throat behind you, grabbing your attention.
“What?”
>”You and Rarity? That… that happened?”
“According to her, aye.”
>”What do you mean, ‘according to her’?”
“I may have been more pissed than I’ve ever been in my entire life. I can’t remember a thing about last night.”
>”But… Rarity?! How?”
”Believe me lass, if I could remember how I bagged a mare of that beauty in a bar like that, I’d have written a book about it. Besides, she’s not my type.”
>You down more of your whiskey, walking back to your bed and sitting on it while rubbing your eyes.
>Twilight sighs and shakes her head in frustration.
>”You’re a pig, you know that?”
“Thanks for the daily dose.”
>”I mean, how can you go around doing that?”
“Here we go.”
>”What?”
“You always do this. You always ask me, ‘Oh Anon! How can you be such a cunt all the time? Stop being such a cunt!’ It’s startin’ to get old, to tell you the truth.”
>”You are unbelievable.”
“I like to think of my un-believability as one of my better qualities.”
>Finishing off your glass, you reach over to your dresser, nabbing your lighter that sits atop it.
>”You-… YOU-… *sigh* Never mind. I need to talk to you. It’s important.”
>Lighting a cigarette, you listen in on whatever the hell it is that’s so important.
>Twilight looks directly at you, and takes a deep breath.
>”Princess Celestia wants to meet you.”
>Taking a drag you nod, still half asleep.
>”Did you hear me?”
“Aye.”
>”What did I say then?”
“Your princess wants to meet me.”
>”And… what, you’re okay with that?”
“Fuck no I’m not okay with that. I simply don’t care enough to dignify it with a proper response.”
>Twilight’s mouth hangs agape, shocked at your words.
>”Princess Celestia actually wants to meet you, and you’re telling me you don’t care?”
“Precisely. Couldn’t give a damn if I even tried.”
>”You are insufferable, do you know that?”
“More or less, yeah.”
>Twilight fumes a bit, pacing back and forth as she does so.
>”Anon, please. I’ve been testing and running experiments on you for months now. I’ve been sending all of the results to the princess for the sake of research and-“
“No, you’ve been sending them to her because you’re a teacher’s pet that cares more about sucking up to her betters than bettering yourself.”
>”I- what?! I am NOT a teacher’s pet!”
“Please, you would jump off the nearest cliff if your pretty pink princess told you she’d give you a gold star for it.”
>”She’s white, not pink, Anon.”
“Call her whatever color you want, doesn’t change the fact that you suck up to her at every chance you get.”
>”That’s besides the point.”
“Really? Let’s say Celestia didn’t care about your tests. Would I even still be here?”
>”Wha-“
“You would have kicked me to the curb long ago if you knew Celestia didn’t even care about the experiments you ran on me.”
>”No I wouldn’t have!”
>You give her a deadpan stare, tilting your head in a way of asking, “Really?”
>”Well I mean… um…”
>Twilight rubs her eyes with her hooves, frustrated.
>You stick your cigarette in your mouth as you get into a change of clothes, mulling over what Twi’s been asking you.
>You decide that, although you have a bit of a grip when it comes to royalty, you owed Twilight for her letting you stay with her, at least.
“Fine, you win. I’ll go meet your princess.”
>Twilight’s ears perk up, her eyes wide at your decision.
>”Wait, really? You’ll go?”
“Aye. When do we leave?”
>”Tomorrow. Oh my goodness, this is fantastic news! Celestia is going to be so pleased that you agreed to meet her, I-“
“I’m not doing this for Celestia, I’m doing this for you. Don’t mix the two up.”
>Twi calms down a bit and smiles at you, nodding.
>”You know, for a brute… you’re kind of nice sometimes.”
“Don’t be telling anyone. I have a reputation as a drunken ass to keep up, and words of kindness will surely diminish it.”
>Twilight lets out a small giggle, looking happier than usual now that you’ve agreed to go to her little meeting with royalty.
“You said it was tomorrow, right?”
>She nods, while lifting the book she let you borrow over to her, opening it and spotting the page you dog eared.
>”You’ve been reading my book?”
“Aye. It’s alright.”
>”There are only three hundred pages in this. You’ve marked page 243.”
“That I have. I have late nights.”
>She smiles inside the pages of the small book, and looks to you.
>”Speaking of nights, tonight is the big night, isn’t it?”
>You put out your cigarette on the wood of your desk, and make sure it’s out.
“The fight?”
>”Are you sure about this? Big Macintosh is… intimidating.”
“He’s a big red asshole is what he is. I can handle him in a straight fight, without his family gangin’ up on me.”
>You take your shirt off, rummaging through your dresser for a fresh one, when Twilight speaks up.
>”I’ve never seen that before.”
>You turn you head and see that Twi is looking at your back.
>”Is that a… tattoo?”
“Yeah. Got it when I was young.”
>”Back when you were in that gang?”
“Aye.”
>You slip a simple grey shirt onto your back, finally set and ready for the day.
>”What is it?”
“It’s a rune. Pretty simple thing, in any case.”
>”Does it mean anything?”
“Force. Trouble. Strife. Male sexual prowess.”
>You give her a smarmy grin on the last definition, to which she groans in annoyance.
“And it means ‘thorn.’ One of my gang mates gave me it when I was near fifteen. She used to call me “little thorn.” Mostly because I was a right pain in the ass, but it gave me more of an identity than I’ve ever really had.”
>As you pass Twilight and walk up the stairs, you can see her locking eyes with you.
>”There’s something about you, Anonymous. It’s… compelling. You’re a chauvinist, sure… but you’re a compelling one.”
>You snort out a quick laugh, turning back to the stairs.
“That might be the first positive compliment you’ve given me, lass.”
>”Where are you going?”
“I have a fight tonight, Tink. I’ve got to go prepare the only way I know how.”
>”By training?”
>You turn back to her and swing you head back, laughing.
“If you call getting drunk at ten in the morning ‘training’ then yes. I’m going to go train until the world is spinning all around me.”
>Twilight quickly trots up the stairs and cuts you off.
>”No.”
“…come again?”
>”You need a clear head if you plan on winning that fight tonight.”
“Are you concerned about my well being? When did this come up?”
>”Anon. It’s still morning. You can’t go down to a bar and drink when the sun only came up a few hours ago.”
“Then why does the bar open in the morning?”
>She stares you down, trying to be an intimidating as possible.
>It was funny to see her actually caring about you like this.
“Fine. I promise I won’t get drunk at the bar today.”
>Her stern expression turns into a smile and she claps a bit for herself.
>”Good! Now- wait where are you going?”
>You walk past her and open the front door of the library, walking out into the sunlight.
“You told me not to go to the bar. I’m going to Dash’s place and getting liquored up there.”
>”But-“
“Cheers.”
>You close the door before she can scold you and spot Rainbow Dash flying through the air in the distance.
>Right on time as usual, it seemed.
>Dash spots you and you give a wave, reaching for your chest pocket for another cigarette.
>When your fingers meet only a shirt, you realize you left all your smokes back in the house, and you didn’t really want to go in there and deal with Twi’s reprimanding for another second.
>Looks like you weren’t smoking today.
>Dash lands next to you and greets you with a slap to the shoulder.
>”What’s up man? Ready to go to the bar?”
>You look back to the library and sigh.
“Actually Dash, I think I might need to pass you up on that. Twi made me promise not to get drunk there today.”
>Dash looks shocked.
>”But your fight’s tonight! How are you going to fight without even drinking a little bit?”
“All it means is that I won’t be stumbling as much as I normally would. C’mon, we can just go find somewhere else to get boozed up.”
>The two of you walk down the streets of Ponyville for a time, walking into various shops and the like while you try to find a suitable spot to sit down and enjoy a drink.
>Your lack of cigarettes was beginning to get to you, but you pushed past it as best you could.
>You eventually make your way over to a small park and sit down on a bench nearby, Dash curling up beside you.
>Pulling out your flask from your coat pocket, you unhinge the cap and throw back a swig, handing it to Dash after you do.
>She takes it gladly and takes a sip.
>”So, how bad are you going to thrash Mac tonight? I can’t wait to see that smug face of his as you wipe the floor with it.”
“Not all too sure. He’s a tough bastard, but I think I can handle it just fine. Have to make sure not to get too fucked up tonight, though. I have a very “important” meeting tomorrow night.”
>”What’s up?”
“You know how Twilight’s been runnin’ tests on me and such?”
>”Yeah.”
“Well she sends all of those results to the princess so she can win some brownie points for discoverin’ a new species. Celestia apparently would like to meet me in person.”
>”You’re getting to meet the princess? Aw, sweet man!”
“Sweet. Sure.”
>”What’s your deal? You don’t like the princess?”
“It’s not the princess I don’t like, it’s her superiority I seem to hate.”
>Dash rolls her eyes and takes another swig of your flask.
“Never was one to obey authority. I have a tendency to spit in it’s face.”
>”Yeah I wouldn’t do that the princess, if I was you. She kind of banishes you to the moon for that.”
“See, now THERE’S a princess I’d like to meet. Luna.”
>”Luna? Why Luna?”
>You give a shrug and a smile.
“I like mares with a dark complexion and I always root for the underdog. That, and from what Twi tells me about her, she sounds like a looker.”
>Dash gives a short laugh.
>”If you managed to nab Princess friggin’ Luna, then I’ll eat my own tail.”
“Not saying I could woo the lass, but I could probably have a nice time with her all the same.”
>The two of you sit there for a few hours more, and Dash finally starts to get curious about you once more.
>”C’mon, you have to tell me more about Manehatten. What was it like once you got out of that orphanage?”
“Dash, you know I’m not one to brag about my exploits.”
>”That’s a load of crap and you know it,” she says with a grin on her face.
“Well… I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to tell you a little bit.”
>She pumps her fist in victory, having finally gotten you to open up about your past.
“Let’s see… once I ran away from the orphanage, I lived on the street for maybe a year. I would pickpocket ponies, steal a few bits hear and there, and use that for food mostly. Started getting on the drink at age sixteen.”
>”So you were a little homeless outlaw?”
“For the most part, aye. I got found out by a few young ponies one day. Thought they’d kick my face in for stealing their cash. Instead, they brought me in with them.”
>Dash raises her eyebrows a bit.
>”Whoa… you were in a gang?”
“Yeah. We’d rob people, we even hit a bank one time. Still amazed the cops never found me, considering I’m the only human around, it seems.”
>”Oh, COOL. So, wait, if you were in a gang, did you have a cool nickname? Like ‘snake eyes’ or ‘dagger’?”
>You close your eyes and shake your head.
“No, no, nothing so cliché. I did have one nickname one gang mate gave me. She used to call me-“
>”Little Thorn.”
>You stop, the voice behind you catching you by surprise.
>There’s no way.
>You turn around, thinking it couldn’t be who you thought it was.
>But there she stood, in defiance of your thoughts.
“Fuck me, Gilda? Bloody hell, what are you doing here?”
>She grins wide at you and walks up to the two of you ruffling your hair as she does so.
>”A little birdie told me that there was gonna be a mighty big fight going down here in Ponyville. Said it was a Clydesdale versus a monkey. I couldn’t believe a word of it, so I came down to find out for myself. And here you are, chatting up an old friend of mine.”
“Christ, it’s good to see you, G. You’ve uh… you’ve grown up.”
>She eyes you, giving a small chuckle.
>”So have you, Anon. So have you.”
>Dash chimes in, confused.
>”Okay, time out. You two know each other?”
>Gilda smiles faintly at Dash, faking enthusiasm.
>”Good to see you too Dash. How have you been?”
>Rainbow glares at Gilda.
>”Good. What about you? Still being a jerk to your friends?”
>”Ah I knew coming to this town would be a good idea. So friendly, and all.”
“You two friends?”
>Gilda looks over to you.
>”We had a falling out.”
>”You bet we had a falling out. She was a jerk to Pinkie and Fluttershy and everyone in town.”
“Wouldn’t you say that’s what I do, though?”
>”Yeah but-… you’re different.”
“Uh huh.”
>Gilda perches herself on the bench next to you, ruffling the feathers in her wings.
>”So Thorn, what are you doing in this town? Besides getting into a fighting circuit, I mean.”
“Oh you know, lying low, making friends, bedding mares. The usual.”
>”God you haven’t changed a bit. Well, you’ve gotten taller, but other than that you haven’t changed a bit.”
“Well I don’t rob people anymore, that’s one thing I’ve changed.”
>”Shame. The gang could use a guy like you.
>You give an incredulous look her way.
“The gang? I thought we split up. You know, after that one bank job.”
>”We did. You called it quits after that job, and I don’t blame you. But things have changed. They could use you.”
>You shake your head, smiling.
“No… no Gilda, I can’t. I’m not the same guy I once was. I’ve gotten used to life here, and it isn’t that bad either. Sorry.”
>She raises her claws, shrugging and giving a sigh.
>”No need to apologize, I turned them down myself. Trying to help out with my clan back in the West, don’t need my history following me around like a bad habit.”
>She leaps down and flicks your chin with her tail.
>”Well, I guess I’ll see you tonight at your brawl. Stay safe, “Little Thorn.”
>You stand holding your arms out and give a smile.
>She rolls her eyes, but smiles nonetheless and stands on her hind legs, giving you a hug.
“And you too, G.”
>”Give ‘em hell, Anon. See you later.”
>She unfurls her wings and flies off towards the center of town, leaving you and Dash in the park.
>Dash trots up to you, a quizzical look on her face.
>”So… Gilda? How much history do you have with her?”
“Nothing intimate, I assure you. She’s… well she’s a good, good friend.”
>You find yourself smiling longer than you usually do as you watch the griffon fly off, and turn to Dash.
“You know what? Let’s go to the bar. I’ll just survive on pub snacks until tonight.”
>”Sweet!... wait, I can drink though, right?”
“Right.”
>”Sweet!”
>The two of you walk off, Rainbow flying next to you, as you walk back into town and towards the bar.
>A fight, a meeting with the princess, and an old friend showing up into town.
>This week was going to be an interesting one, to say the least.
>You sit outside the cellar doors of Sweet Apple Acres, a cigarette in your hands burning low in the light of the moon.
>Applejack sat next to you as the two of you waited for Time Turner to arrive.
>As you waited, pony after pony were filing down into the cellar to place their bets and find a good place to sit.
“Any word from your brother at all?”
>Applejack sighs.
>”Nope. He’s been out with his buddies all week, “preparing” for the fight. That usually involves a lot of cider.”
“Cunt can’t even drink real liquor. Remind me how he’s related to you again?”
>Applejack gives a laugh and shakes her head.
>You look down the lane and spot Twilight trotting to you, and you give a quick wave.
>”Anon! There you are, I’ve been looking for- *sniff* You’ve been drinking!”
“Absolutely I have.”
>”But- never mind. How are you feeling? Are you focused? You’re focused, right?”
“What’s with all the concern all of a sudden?”
>”I just don’t want to go see the princess tomorrow evening with you having a face composed of bruises and cuts.”
“I’ll be fine, Tink. Just go and find a seat down in the cellar. Fight’ll be on soon.”
>She looks form you to Applejack, nods, and heads to the basement, trying her best to get passed the large group of ponies.
>AJ gives your shoulder a shove and winks at you.
“What?”
>”She likes you.”
“Shut up, she does not. She thinks I’m the biggest pain in the ass. Granted, I am, but at least I’m content in that knowledge.”
>She shakes her head, smiling.
>”That may be, sugarcube, but that unicorn has a serious soft spot fer ya.”
“Uh huh. Sure.”
>Finishing off your cigarette, you get up and stretch your legs.
“Where’s Turner? He should have been here by now.”
>”Don’t rightly know myself. Don’t worry, he’ll be here soon en- well there ya go, Anon. There he is.”
>You turn to where Applejack motions and see Time Turner galloping down the lane to you.
“Turner! There you are. I thought you may have gotten cold hooves.”
>He smiles sheepishly at you, giving a nervous laugh.
>”Right. Listen, something’s come up with the fight.”
>Applejack hops off her hay bale and walks up to him and you join her, confusion on both your faces.
“What’s wrong?”
>”There’s been a slight… change.”
>”What kinda’ change?”
>”The kind of change that may… have us… lose the fight.”
“Pardon me?”
>Turner groans, bringing a hoof to his face.
>”Big Mac’s not fighting tonight.”
“And this is bad, how?”
>”It’s bad because now you have to fight someone else.”
“I still don’t see the problem.”
>You turn around and head for the cellar making your way to the ring that the Appel family has set up.
>”Anon, they have a new guy. I don’t know where they got him, but dammit he’s a tough one. He’s apparently some sort of world champion.”
“Then I’ll take his title away from him. What’s the harm, Turner? You want me to fight, so here I am.”
>You leap into the ring, and the crowd around you breaks out into a mix of cheers and jeers from all sides.
>You take off your shirt and toss it into the corner of the ring, and begin to tape up your fists.
>”Anon!”
>You raise your head and spot Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Gilda all sitting in one of the front rows.
>Twi sits in the seat between Dash and G, separating them.
>Good girl.
>You nod to them, then stand in your corner.
“So where’s this new fighter of yours? I heard Mac got too scared to fight me like a man!”
>You shout over to the team on the other side, but they all give a huge grin at you.
>What the hell were they smiling about?
>You glance over to the cellar stairs and-
>That… that’s not a pony.
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph… they found a fuckin’ minotaur…”
>The lumbering bastard strides into the cellar, his gold septum flashing in the light of the basement.
>Jumping into the ring, he gives a quick pose and stares out into the audience.
>”Iron Will’s the name, kicking ass is my game!”
>The audience goes wild.
“Fuck me, he rhymes…”
>He looks to you, examining you for a second, and gives out a huge laugh.
>”I’m supposed to fight this? This?! Please, this is going to be over in under ten seconds!”
“Bring it on ya fucking heifer. I’ll have you sputtering for your mother by the end of this.”
>He sneers at you, and steam puffs out of his nostrils.
“So, when does the fucking fight star-“
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r810HVzKhtY
>A bell rings, and Iron Will is already on top of you, cracking a fist across your face.
>Well.
>Fuck.
>You roll on the floor, scrambling to your feet, and you brace yourself as Will charges you while smiling like a lunatic.
>You jump to the left, and his head slams into the pole of the corner of the ring.
>Grabbing his shoulders, you throw him back and charge at him, sending a right hook into his nose.
>He barely even flinches, and grabs your fist while sending a left hook into your gut.
>And the air in your lungs is now immediately NOT in your lungs.
>This… was going to be a lot harder than you thought.
>You grab his septum and yank down, bringing his head down as you slam an elbow into the back of his skull.
>While he’s dazed you back off, trying your best to catch your breath, sucking on air as your abdomen catches up to you.
>Will looks up to you, rage in his eyes, and he rushes towards you.
>Oh fuck.
>He lowers his horns, charging you, but you grab them just in time, stopping him.
>Giving you a smirk, he whips his head back and flings you out of the god damn ring.
>”That the best you got, Monkey Boy?!”
>Sprinting up to the ring and sliding under the ropes, you roll and slam a fist into Iron Will’s abdomen.
>It was like punching a brick fucking wall.
>He grabs you by the face and picks you up, slamming your back into the ground a second later.
>Well you hoped he wouldn’t do THAT again.
>He does.
>Flinging you into your corner, he strikes a pose to the audience, raising his arms up in mock victory.
>You stand to your feet.
>Looking back at you, he sneers.
>”If I were you, monkey, I would stay down.”
“Not fucking likely.”
>Puffing more steam from his snout, he lumbers over to you.
>”I said, stay DOWN.”
>You give him a smile, making your soon to be black eye sting in pain.
“You’ll have to put me down, then.”
>He rears a fist back, and propels it right at your face.
>You move your head over, Will missing his punch by less than an inch, and you clench both of your hands together as you bring both of them as hard as you can under his chin.
>He steps back, dazed, and you take that to your advantage by jumping into the air and kicking him square in his chest.
>He flies back, but you land hard on the cellar floor, sending a shock through your back.
>You probably shouldn’t have done that.
>As you try to get up, Will makes it over to you and crouches down at you.
“…I lost didn’t I?”
>”Yep.”
>And with that, he slams a fist into your face, the back of your head hits the floor, and you get knocked the fuck out.
>All in all, a pretty good fight.
>When you finally come back to consciousness, you realize that you’re not in the cellar anymore.
>Instead, you’re back at the library with a pack of ice planted onto your forehead.
>Good thing too, your ears were still ringing.
>Seems like your friends must have dragged you back here and put you in... Twi’s bed.
>Nice.
>You pull yourself up, your whole body aching.
>You haven’t been this bruised since your time in the orphanage.
>Twilight makes her way up the stairs to where you are, a worried look on her face.
>”How are you feeling?”
”Like I fell down fifty flights of stairs, then got my ass kicked by a fucking minotaur. So yeah, pretty well.”
>You give a smile as best you can to her, and she shakes her head, smiling to herself.
>”You were good out there. I mean, before you lost, I mean.”
“Thanks. What was your favorite part? When he knocked my lights out?”
>She giggles but shakes her head no.
>”You stood up to him. I liked that part. You knew he had to be better than you, but you stood up to him till the very end.”
>She adjusts the ice pack on your head and gives you a smile.
“How pissed was Time Turner that I lost?”
>”Pissed? He was happy.”
>What?
“Pardon?”
>”Apparently, when he learned you were going to fight Iron Will, he changed all his bets to be AGAINST you rather than ON you.”
“…Son of a bitch…”
>”He left you a hefty amount of bits downstairs. Payment for ‘taking one for the team,’ he said.”
“… loveable son of a bitch.”
>You return your head to the pillow beneath you, breathing deep and relaxed.
“Thanks for takin’ me in, Tink.”
>She hops up onto the bed with you, levitating the book you’ve been reading up to her.
>”I thought that… well, with you being all hurt and stuff that… maybe I could read to you?”
>You give a short laugh.
“Sure. Why the fuck not?”
>You give her hair a ruffle, and she smiles as she flips through the pages of your book.
>”Ahem… Chapter 13: Wherein Our Hero Returns From Battle…”
~END~

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDSud7vAH_0&feature=related

>”Anon.”
“Fuck off, I’m sleeping.”
>Twilight knocked on your basement door once more, trying to jiggle the handle with her magic.
>She wouldn’t be getting in this time; you’ve locked the door and hidden the key.
>”Anon open up, I have to talk to you about something.”
“It can wait. Stop shouting so much, you’re hurting our ears.”
>”It’s important and I really need to-… ‘our’ ears?”
>”I wasn’t expecting her to be up this early on a weekend.”
“Neither was I, love.”
>You roll out of bed, slipping your boxers back on as you do, and walk towards the door.
>”I heard a voice in there. Do you-… do you have someone in your room with you?”
“Yup.”
>”Who could you possibly have over here at this time of day?”
“Rarity.”
>There’s a pause at the door as you unlatch it with the key you hid under one of the stairs.
>When you open up, Twilight is staring deadpan and wide eyed at you.
>”There is no way that Rarity is down there.”
>You step to the side and allow Twilight to pass, trotting down the stairs and into your basement.
>She freezes at the bottom of the stairs when she sees what’s laying in your bed.
>”…Rarity?”

>”Good morning Twilight. How are you today?”
>”I’m… good… what are you doing here.”
“She stayed the night.”
>”…oh Rarity you didn’t-“
>Rarity gives a polite laugh, pawing at her usually neat and tidy mane as she tried to straighten some of it out.
>”Afraid so. He’s quite the charmer, Twilight. He’s been blessed with a silver tongue.”
>Twilight groans.
>”I don’t think I need to hear about his tongue, thank you very much.”
>Rarity sways her mane back and hops out of your bed, sauntering over to you.
>”Anon, darling, I had a delightful time last night. Though I think you’re well aware.”
>Twi makes an audible groan, while you pour yourself a glass of whiskey.
>”Any chance we’ll be able to get better acquainted some other time?”
“Probably not, no. The cellar door is unlocked, by the way.”
>She looks at you for a couple of seconds, unsure of what you mean.
>You nod towards the cellar door.
“Off you go.”
>”Oh. Well, alright then. Maybe some other time?”
“Yeah, no.”
>You show her to the door and let her out of the library.
>”Call me?”
“Not happening.”
>Closing the door, you finally take a sip of your drink.
>Twilight clears her throat behind you, grabbing your attention.
“What?”
>”You and Rarity? That… that happened?”
“According to her, aye.”
>”What do you mean, ‘according to her’?”
“I may have been more pissed than I’ve ever been in my entire life. I can’t remember a thing about last night.”

>”But… Rarity?! How?”
”Believe me lass, if I could remember how I bagged a mare of that beauty in a bar like that, I’d have written a book about it. Besides, she’s not my type.”
>You down more of your whiskey, walking back to your bed and sitting on it while rubbing your eyes.
>Twilight sighs and shakes her head in frustration.
>”You’re a pig, you know that?”
“Thanks for the daily dose.”
>”I mean, how can you go around doing that?”
“Here we go.”
>”What?”
“You always do this. You always ask me, ‘Oh Anon! How can you be such a cunt all the time? Stop being such a cunt!’ It’s startin’ to get old, to tell you the truth.”
>”You are unbelievable.”
“I like to think of my un-believability as one of my better qualities.”
>Finishing off your glass, you reach over to your dresser, nabbing your lighter that sits atop it.
>”You-… YOU-… *sigh* Never mind. I need to talk to you. It’s important.”
>Lighting a cigarette, you listen in on whatever the hell it is that’s so important.
>Twilight looks directly at you, and takes a deep breath.
>”Princess Celestia wants to meet you.”
>Taking a drag you nod, still half asleep.
>”Did you hear me?”
“Aye.”
>”What did I say then?”
“Your princess wants to meet me.”
>”And… what, you’re okay with that?”
“Fuck no I’m not okay with that. I simply don’t care enough to dignify it with a proper response.”
>Twilight’s mouth hangs agape, shocked at your words.

>”Princess Celestia actually wants to meet you, and you’re telling me you don’t care?”
“Precisely. Couldn’t give a damn if I even tried.”
>”You are insufferable, do you know that?”
“More or less, yeah.”
>Twilight fumes a bit, pacing back and forth as she does so.
>”Anon, please. I’ve been testing and running experiments on you for months now. I’ve been sending all of the results to the princess for the sake of research and-“
“No, you’ve been sending them to her because you’re a teacher’s pet that cares more about sucking up to her betters than bettering yourself.”
>”I- what?! I am NOT a teacher’s pet!”
“Please, you would jump off the nearest cliff if your pretty pink princess told you she’d give you a gold star for it.”
>”She’s white, not pink, Anon.”
“Call her whatever color you want, doesn’t change the fact that you suck up to her at every chance you get.”
>”That’s besides the point.”
“Really? Let’s say Celestia didn’t care about your tests. Would I even still be here?”
>”Wha-“
“You would have kicked me to the curb long ago if you knew Celestia didn’t even care about the experiments you ran on me.”
>”No I wouldn’t have!”
>You give her a deadpan stare, tilting your head in a way of asking, “Really?” 
>”Well I mean… um…”
>Twilight rubs her eyes with her hooves, frustrated.
>You stick your cigarette in your mouth as you get into a change of clothes, mulling over what Twi’s been asking you.

>You decide that, although you have a bit of a grip when it comes to royalty, you owed Twilight for her letting you stay with her, at least.
“Fine, you win. I’ll go meet your princess.”
>Twilight’s ears perk up, her eyes wide at your decision.
>”Wait, really? You’ll go?”
“Aye. When do we leave?”
>”Tomorrow. Oh my goodness, this is fantastic news! Celestia is going to be so pleased that you agreed to meet her, I-“
“I’m not doing this for Celestia, I’m doing this for you. Don’t mix the two up.”
>Twi calms down a bit and smiles at you, nodding.
>”You know, for a brute… you’re kind of nice sometimes.”
“Don’t be telling anyone. I have a reputation as a drunken ass to keep up, and words of kindness will surely diminish it.”
>Twilight lets out a small giggle, looking happier than usual now that you’ve agreed to go to her little meeting with royalty.
“You said it was tomorrow, right?”
>She nods, while lifting the book she let you borrow over to her, opening it and spotting the page you dog eared.
>”You’ve been reading my book?”
“Aye. It’s alright.”
>”There are only three hundred pages in this. You’ve marked page 243.”
“That I have. I have late nights.”
>She smiles inside the pages of the small book, and looks to you.
>”Speaking of nights, tonight is the big night, isn’t it?”
>You put out your cigarette on the wood of your desk, and make sure it’s out.
“The fight?”

>”Are you sure about this? Big Macintosh is… intimidating.”
“He’s a big red asshole is what he is. I can handle him in a straight fight, without his family gangin’ up on me.”
>You take your shirt off, rummaging through your dresser for a fresh one, when Twilight speaks up.
>”I’ve never seen that before.”
>You turn you head and see that Twi is looking at your back.
>”Is that a… tattoo?”
“Yeah. Got it when I was young.”
>”Back when you were in that gang?”
“Aye.”
>You slip a simple grey shirt onto your back, finally set and ready for the day.
>”What is it?”
“It’s a rune. Pretty simple thing, in any case.”
>”Does it mean anything?”
“Force. Trouble. Strife. Male sexual prowess.”
>You give her a smarmy grin on the last definition, to which she groans in annoyance.
“And it means ‘thorn.’ One of my gang mates gave me it when I was near fifteen. She used to call me “little thorn.” Mostly because I was a right pain in the ass, but it gave me more of an identity than I’ve ever really had.”
>As you pass Twilight and walk up the stairs, you can see her locking eyes with you.
>”There’s something about you, Anonymous. It’s… compelling. You’re a chauvinist, sure… but you’re a compelling one.”
>You snort out a quick laugh, turning back to the stairs.
“That might be the first positive compliment you’ve given me, lass.”

>”Where are you going?”
“I have a fight tonight, Tink. I’ve got to go prepare the only way I know how.”
>”By training?”
>You turn back to her and swing you head back, laughing.
“If you call getting drunk at ten in the morning ‘training’ then yes. I’m going to go train until the world is spinning all around me.”
>Twilight quickly trots up the stairs and cuts you off.
>”No.”
“…come again?”
>”You need a clear head if you plan on winning that fight tonight.”
“Are you concerned about my well being? When did this come up?”
>”Anon. It’s still morning. You can’t go down to a bar and drink when the sun only came up a few hours ago.”
“Then why does the bar open in the morning?”
>She stares you down, trying to be an intimidating as possible.
>It was funny to see her actually caring about you like this.
“Fine. I promise I won’t get drunk at the bar today.”
>Her stern expression turns into a smile and she claps a bit for herself.
>”Good! Now- wait where are you going?”
>You walk past her and open the front door of the library, walking out into the sunlight.
“You told me not to go to the bar. I’m going to Dash’s place and getting liquored up there.”
>”But-“
“Cheers.”

>You close the door before she can scold you and spot Rainbow Dash flying through the air in the distance.
>Right on time as usual, it seemed.
>Dash spots you and you give a wave, reaching for your chest pocket for another cigarette.
>When your fingers meet only a shirt, you realize you left all your smokes back in the house, and you didn’t really want to go in there and deal with Twi’s reprimanding for another second.
>Looks like you weren’t smoking today.
>Dash lands next to you and greets you with a slap to the shoulder.
>”What’s up man? Ready to go to the bar?”
>You look back to the library and sigh.
“Actually Dash, I think I might need to pass you up on that. Twi made me promise not to get drunk there today.”
>Dash looks shocked.
>”But your fight’s tonight! How are you going to fight without even drinking a little bit?”
“All it means is that I won’t be stumbling as much as I normally would. C’mon, we can just go find somewhere else to get boozed up.”
>The two of you walk down the streets of Ponyville for a time, walking into various shops and the like while you try to find a suitable spot to sit down and enjoy a drink.
>Your lack of cigarettes was beginning to get to you, but you pushed past it as best you could.
>You eventually make your way over to a small park and sit down on a bench nearby, Dash curling up beside you.

>Pulling out your flask from your coat pocket, you unhinge the cap and throw back a swig, handing it to Dash after you do.
>She takes it gladly and takes a sip.
>”So, how bad are you going to thrash Mac tonight? I can’t wait to see that smug face of his as you wipe the floor with it.”
“Not all too sure. He’s a tough bastard, but I think I can handle it just fine. Have to make sure not to get too fucked up tonight, though. I have a very “important” meeting tomorrow night.”
>”What’s up?”
“You know how Twilight’s been runnin’ tests on me and such?”
>”Yeah.”
“Well she sends all of those results to the princess so she can win some brownie points for discoverin’ a new species. Celestia apparently would like to meet me in person.”
>”You’re getting to meet the princess? Aw, sweet man!”
“Sweet. Sure.”
>”What’s your deal? You don’t like the princess?”
“It’s not the princess I don’t like, it’s her superiority I seem to hate.”
>Dash rolls her eyes and takes another swig of your flask.
“Never was one to obey authority. I have a tendency to spit in it’s face.”
>”Yeah I wouldn’t do that the princess, if I was you. She kind of banishes you to the moon for that.”
“See, now THERE’S a princess I’d like to meet. Luna.”
>”Luna? Why Luna?”
>You give a shrug and a smile.
“I like mares with a dark complexion and I always root for the underdog. That, and from what Twi tells me about her, she sounds like a looker.”

>Dash gives a short laugh.
>”If you managed to nab Princess friggin’ Luna, then I’ll eat my own tail.”
“Not saying I could woo the lass, but I could probably have a nice time with her all the same.”
>The two of you sit there for a few hours more, and Dash finally starts to get curious about you once more.
>”C’mon, you have to tell me more about Manehatten. What was it like once you got out of that orphanage?”
“Dash, you know I’m not one to brag about my exploits.”
>”That’s a load of crap and you know it,” she says with a grin on her face.
“Well… I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to tell you a little bit.”
>She pumps her fist in victory, having finally gotten you to open up about your past.
“Let’s see… once I ran away from the orphanage, I lived on the street for maybe a year. I would pickpocket ponies, steal a few bits hear and there, and use that for food mostly. Started getting on the drink at age sixteen.”
>”So you were a little homeless outlaw?”
“For the most part, aye. I got found out by a few young ponies one day. Thought they’d kick my face in for stealing their cash. Instead, they brought me in with them.”
>Dash raises her eyebrows a bit.
>”Whoa… you were in a gang?”
“Yeah. We’d rob people, we even hit a bank one time. Still amazed the cops never found me, considering I’m the only human around, it seems.”
>”Oh, COOL. So, wait, if you were in a gang, did you have a cool nickname? Like ‘snake eyes’ or ‘dagger’?”

>You close your eyes and shake your head.
“No, no, nothing so cliché. I did have one nickname one gang mate gave me. She used to call me-“
>”Little Thorn.”
>You stop, the voice behind you catching you by surprise.
>There’s no way.
>You turn around, thinking it couldn’t be who you thought it was.
>But there she stood, in defiance of your thoughts.
“Fuck me, Gilda? Bloody hell, what are you doing here?”
>She grins wide at you and walks up to the two of you ruffling your hair as she does so.
>”A little birdie told me that there was gonna be a mighty big fight going down here in Ponyville. Said it was a Clydesdale versus a monkey. I couldn’t believe a word of it, so I came down to find out for myself. And here you are, chatting up an old friend of mine.”
“Christ, it’s good to see you, G. You’ve uh… you’ve grown up.”
>She eyes you, giving a small chuckle.
>”So have you, Anon. So have you.”
>Dash chimes in, confused.
>”Okay, time out. You two know each other?”
>Gilda smiles faintly at Dash, faking enthusiasm.
>”Good to see you too Dash. How have you been?”
>Rainbow glares at Gilda.
>”Good. What about you? Still being a jerk to your friends?”
>”Ah I knew coming to this town would be a good idea. So friendly, and all.”
“You two friends?”

>Gilda looks over to you.
>”We had a falling out.”
>”You bet we had a falling out. She was a jerk to Pinkie and Fluttershy and everyone in town.”
“Wouldn’t you say that’s what I do, though?”
>”Yeah but-… you’re different.”
“Uh huh.”
>Gilda perches herself on the bench next to you, ruffling the feathers in her wings.
>”So Thorn, what are you doing in this town? Besides getting into a fighting circuit, I mean.”
“Oh you know, lying low, making friends, bedding mares. The usual.”
>”God you haven’t changed a bit. Well, you’ve gotten taller, but other than that you haven’t changed a bit.”
“Well I don’t rob people anymore, that’s one thing I’ve changed.”
>”Shame. The gang could use a guy like you.
>You give an incredulous look her way.
“The gang? I thought we split up. You know, after that one bank job.”
>”We did. You called it quits after that job, and I don’t blame you. But things have changed. They could use you.”
>You shake your head, smiling.
“No… no Gilda, I can’t. I’m not the same guy I once was. I’ve gotten used to life here, and it isn’t that bad either. Sorry.”
>She raises her claws, shrugging and giving a sigh.
>”No need to apologize, I turned them down myself. Trying to help out with my clan back in the West, don’t need my history following me around like a bad habit.”

>She leaps down and flicks your chin with her tail.
>”Well, I guess I’ll see you tonight at your brawl. Stay safe, “Little Thorn.”
>You stand holding your arms out and give a smile.
>She rolls her eyes, but smiles nonetheless and stands on her hind legs, giving you a hug.
“And you too, G.”
>”Give ‘em hell, Anon. See you later.”
>She unfurls her wings and flies off towards the center of town, leaving you and Dash in the park.
>Dash trots up to you, a quizzical look on her face.
>”So… Gilda? How much history do you have with her?”
“Nothing intimate, I assure you. She’s… well she’s a good, good friend.”
>You find yourself smiling longer than you usually do as you watch the griffon fly off, and turn to Dash.
“You know what? Let’s go to the bar. I’ll just survive on pub snacks until tonight.”
>”Sweet!... wait, I can drink though, right?”
“Right.”
>”Sweet!”
>The two of you walk off, Rainbow flying next to you, as you walk back into town and towards the bar.
>A fight, a meeting with the princess, and an old friend showing up into town.
>This week was going to be an interesting one, to say the least.


>You sit outside the cellar doors of Sweet Apple Acres, a cigarette in your hands burning low in the light of the moon.
>Applejack sat next to you as the two of you waited for Time Turner to arrive.
>As you waited, pony after pony were filing down into the cellar to place their bets and find a good place to sit.
“Any word from your brother at all?”
>Applejack sighs.
>”Nope. He’s been out with his buddies all week, “preparing” for the fight. That usually involves a lot of cider.”
“Cunt can’t even drink real liquor. Remind me how he’s related to you again?”
>Applejack gives a laugh and shakes her head.
>You look down the lane and spot Twilight trotting to you, and you give a quick wave.
>”Anon! There you are, I’ve been looking for- *sniff* You’ve been drinking!”
“Absolutely I have.”
>”But- never mind. How are you feeling? Are you focused? You’re focused, right?”
“What’s with all the concern all of a sudden?”
>”I just don’t want to go see the princess tomorrow evening with you having a face composed of bruises and cuts.”
“I’ll be fine, Tink. Just go and find a seat down in the cellar. Fight’ll be on soon.”
>She looks form you to Applejack, nods, and heads to the basement, trying her best to get passed the large group of ponies.
>AJ gives your shoulder a shove and winks at you.

“What?”
>”She likes you.”
“Shut up, she does not. She thinks I’m the biggest pain in the ass. Granted, I am, but at least I’m content in that knowledge.”
>She shakes her head, smiling.
>”That may be, sugarcube, but that unicorn has a serious soft spot fer ya.”
“Uh huh. Sure.”
>Finishing off your cigarette, you get up and stretch your legs.
“Where’s Turner? He should have been here by now.”
>”Don’t rightly know myself. Don’t worry, he’ll be here soon en- well there ya go, Anon. There he is.”
>You turn to where Applejack motions and see Time Turner galloping down the lane to you.
“Turner! There you are. I thought you may have gotten cold hooves.”
>He smiles sheepishly at you, giving a nervous laugh.
>”Right. Listen, something’s come up with the fight.”
>Applejack hops off her hay bale and walks up to him and you join her, confusion on both your faces.
“What’s wrong?”
>”There’s been a slight… change.”
>”What kinda’ change?”
>”The kind of change that may… have us… lose the fight.”
“Pardon me?”
>Turner groans, bringing a hoof to his face.
>”Big Mac’s not fighting tonight.”
“And this is bad, how?”
>”It’s bad because now you have to fight someone else.”
“I still don’t see the problem.”

>You turn around and head for the cellar making your way to the ring that the Appel family has set up.
>”Anon, they have a new guy. I don’t know where they got him, but dammit he’s a tough one. He’s apparently some sort of world champion.”
“Then I’ll take his title away from him. What’s the harm, Turner? You want me to fight, so here I am.”
>You leap into the ring, and the crowd around you breaks out into a mix of cheers and jeers from all sides.
>You take off your shirt and toss it into the corner of the ring, and begin to tape up your fists.
>”Anon!”
>You raise your head and spot Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Gilda all sitting in one of the front rows.
>Twi sits in the seat between Dash and G, separating them.
>Good girl.
>You nod to them, then stand in your corner.
“So where’s this new fighter of yours? I heard Mac got too scared to fight me like a man!”
>You shout over to the team on the other side, but they all give a huge grin at you.
>What the hell were they smiling about?
>You glance over to the cellar stairs and-
>That… that’s not a pony.
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph… they found a fuckin’ minotaur…”

>The lumbering bastard strides into the cellar, his gold septum flashing in the light of the basement.
>Jumping into the ring, he gives a quick pose and stares out into the audience.
>”Iron Will’s the name, kicking ass is my game!”
>The audience goes wild.
“Fuck me, he rhymes…”
>He looks to you, examining you for a second, and gives out a huge laugh.
>”I’m supposed to fight this? This?! Please, this is going to be over in under ten seconds!”
“Bring it on ya fucking heifer. I’ll have you sputtering for your mother by the end of this.”
>He sneers at you, and steam puffs out of his nostrils.
“So, when does the fucking fight star-“

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r810HVzKhtY

>A bell rings, and Iron Will is already on top of you, cracking a fist across your face.
>Well.
>Fuck.
>You roll on the floor, scrambling to your feet, and you brace yourself as Will charges you while smiling like a lunatic.
>You jump to the left, and his head slams into the pole of the corner of the ring.
>Grabbing his shoulders, you throw him back and charge at him, sending a right hook into his nose.
>He barely even flinches, and grabs your fist while sending a left hook into your gut.
>And the air in your lungs is now immediately NOT in your lungs.
>This… was going to be a lot harder than you thought.
>You grab his septum and yank down, bringing his head down as you slam an elbow into the back of his skull.

>While he’s dazed you back off, trying your best to catch your breath, sucking on air as your abdomen catches up to you.
>Will looks up to you, rage in his eyes, and he rushes towards you.
>Oh fuck.
>He lowers his horns, charging you, but you grab them just in time, stopping him.
>Giving you a smirk, he whips his head back and flings you out of the god damn ring.
>”That the best you got, Monkey Boy?!”
>Sprinting up to the ring and sliding under the ropes, you roll and slam a fist into Iron Will’s abdomen.
>It was like punching a brick fucking wall.
>He grabs you by the face and picks you up, slamming your back into the ground a second later.
>Well you hoped he wouldn’t do THAT again.
>He does.
>Flinging you into your corner, he strikes a pose to the audience, raising his arms up in mock victory.
>You stand to your feet.
>Looking back at you, he sneers.
>”If I were you, monkey, I would stay down.”
“Not fucking likely.”
>Puffing more steam from his snout, he lumbers over to you.
>”I said, stay DOWN.”
>You give him a smile, making your soon to be black eye sting in pain.
“You’ll have to put me down, then.”
>He rears a fist back, and propels it right at your face.

>You move your head over, Will missing his punch by less than an inch, and you clench both of your hands together as you bring both of them as hard as you can under his chin.
>He steps back, dazed, and you take that to your advantage by jumping into the air and kicking him square in his chest.
>He flies back, but you land hard on the cellar floor, sending a shock through your back.
>You probably shouldn’t have done that.
>As you try to get up, Will makes it over to you and crouches down at you.
“…I lost didn’t I?”
>”Yep.”
>And with that, he slams a fist into your face, the back of your head hits the floor, and you get knocked the fuck out.
>All in all, a pretty good fight.

>When you finally come back to consciousness, you realize that you’re not in the cellar anymore.
>Instead, you’re back at the library with a pack of ice planted onto your forehead.
>Good thing too, your ears were still ringing.
>Seems like your friends must have dragged you back here and put you in... Twi’s bed.
>Nice.
>You pull yourself up, your whole body aching.
>You haven’t been this bruised since your time in the orphanage.
>Twilight makes her way up the stairs to where you are, a worried look on her face.
>”How are you feeling?”
”Like I fell down fifty flights of stairs, then got my ass kicked by a fucking minotaur. So yeah, pretty well.”
>You give a smile as best you can to her, and she shakes her head, smiling to herself.

>”You were good out there. I mean, before you lost, I mean.”
“Thanks. What was your favorite part? When he knocked my lights out?”
>She giggles but shakes her head no.
>”You stood up to him. I liked that part. You knew he had to be better than you, but you stood up to him till the very end.”
>She adjusts the ice pack on your head and gives you a smile.
“How pissed was Time Turner that I lost?”
>”Pissed? He was happy.”
>What?
“Pardon?”
>”Apparently, when he learned you were going to fight Iron Will, he changed all his bets to be AGAINST you rather than ON you.”
“…Son of a bitch…”
>”He left you a hefty amount of bits downstairs. Payment for ‘taking one for the team,’ he said.”
“… loveable son of a bitch.”
>You return your head to the pillow beneath you, breathing deep and relaxed.
“Thanks for takin’ me in, Tink.”
>She hops up onto the bed with you, levitating the book you’ve been reading up to her.
>”I thought that… well, with you being all hurt and stuff that… maybe I could read to you?”
>You give a short laugh.
“Sure. Why the fuck not?”
>You give her hair a ruffle, and she smiles as she flips through the pages of your book.
>”Ahem… Chapter 13: Wherein Our Hero Returns From Battle…”

~END~

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