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The Last Son of Dublin: Chapter I

By: PaleNarrator on Jul 15th, 2012 | syntax: None | size: 14.84 KB | hits: 834 | expires: Never

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPaz0p2dpEk&feature=related
>Pain shoots through your spine as you’re thrown into the wall of the barn.
>Yeah, that was gonna leave a mark.
>The scramble of hoofs scrapes your skin as a small group of colts lifts you up and tosses you back into the ring, rolling along the dusty ground.
>Big Macintosh snorts at you, pawing the ground, ready for a another strike.
>He’d been wiping the floor with you for the past five minutes now inside Sweet Apple Acres’ barn house.
>Five minutes of sitting through this asshole’s sub par fighting all because you smacked his sister’s ass.
>Applejack, of course.
>You were a jerk, not a Catholic.
>You can see steam flare out of Macintosh’s nostrils as her sneers at you confidently.
>”Nop0ny tries to get fresh with mah sister. Nop0ny.”
>Getting to your feet, you wipe the blood from your cut cheek onto your hand.
>You give a laugh as you brush your arms of dirt.
“Right, how could I forget. You’re her brother!... Hitting on her is YOUR job.”
>He glares angrily as he charges you yet again, as the crows around you that came to see the fight cheers him on.
You are Anonymous.
>Stepping to the left, you bring your arm across Big Mac’s neck, delivering a more than likely painful haymaker his way.
>He’s lifted off the ground, and slams into the cold dirt as you bring another fist into his gut.
And you could go for a drink right about now.
“C’mon you fucking nancy, get up. You’ve tossed me around this shit hole for five minutes, don’t tell me you’re done just like that.”
>Mac tries to say something back at you, but he’s far too busy trying to get his breath back.
>Chuckling to yourself and shaking your head, you turn to leave the barn.
>That’s when Mac bucks you right in the back.
>You’re off the ground, and you fly through the barn doors, flailing along the ground.
>When you get up, you’re more pissed off than in pain.
>You stretch one leg, bob up and down for a second, then sprint as fast as you can back into the barn.
>Mac is smiling at his friends, thinking he’s won.
>You promptly tackle him to the ground and begin punching the ever living shit out of his face.
>More hooves grasp you as his chums throw you off him, some of them ganging up on you.
“Oh FUCK you, he kicked me in the back, the coward!”
>Mac lies stunned on the floor of the barn, groaning in pain.
>You spit in his general direction, then clock the first colt to make a move at you.
>What started as one man fight, has now turned into an all out brawl.
>You smile.
One Hour Later
>You hated the smell of this place.
>Old books made your nose twitch and cringe. They smelled musty and moldy, and you kind of fucking hated that.
>A few bandages levitated up to your face by purple magic, as a cotton swab dabbed at your wounds.
“Ow! Watch it!”
>”Would you stop squirming? It wouldn’t hurt if you wouldn’t move so much.”
“What the fuck is in that swab? God damn acid?”
>”It’s peroxide, it’s going to help clean your cuts.”
>You roll your eyes as Twilight Sparkle keeps cleaning your face, placing the small white bandages on your cuts.
>This was a familiar routine.
>You’d find some reason to uppercut some fucking horse, they’d all gang up on you, and ten unconscious equines later you would shuffle your busted ass down to Twilight’s house for some medical assistance.
>It’d always been like this. She was the only pony in town that would be willing to take you in like this.
>Hell, she let you use her basement as a makeshift home, seeing as how she wasn’t using it for anything beforehand.
>”Anonymous, might I ask what you did to get yourself in this situation THIS time?”
“Ha, not much really. Turns out you can’t make a pass for any mares in the Apple Clan. Their brothers tend to get jealous and take you to their farm to knock the shit out of you.”
>You turn your head and spit up a bit of blood, wiping your mouth.
“I’m gonna be honest, I think I might have cracked a rib.”
>You give her a cheeky smile, but she sighs and shakes her head.
>”Why do you always do this?”
“Do what?”
>”Why do you get into fights with everyp0ny?”
“Why does everyp0ny want to fight me?”
>Twilight gives a sharp laugh.
>”Maybe it’s because of your impertinent attitude.”
“Don’t use big words with me, bitch.”
>She glares at you, you give a wink, and she sighs.
>”All done. Just… just TRY not to get more colts and stallions around here angry at you. I’d rather not have to come home and find a sight similar to when we first met.”
>You rub your face, smack it a bit to wake yourself up, and then take a cigarette out of your shirt pocket.
>Before you can light it, Twilight has snatched the lighter with her magic.
>”Out.”
“Fuck me, you’re still on about that?”
>”No smoking in my library.”
“What’s the worst that could happen?”
>”Well for starters, you could burn it down.”
“Wow that’d be just fucking tragic. Then all your shit fan-fiction would fry.”
>She groans and points to the door.
>Shrugging, you get up and walk out of her house, nabbing your lighter out of the air as you do so.
>”The cellar door is unlocked in the back for you, by the way.”
>The flame of the lighter sparks up and you take a slow drag on your cigarette.
“Thanks Tink.”
>She shakes her head and rolls her eyes at the nickname you gave her, and closes the door.
>Exhaling, you lean up against the trunk of the library.
>Twilight pokes her head out of the door.
>”I need you to come back here tomorrow at noon.”
“What? Why?”
>Twilight doesn’t say anything, darting her eyes back and forth.
>She’s silent because she knew you’d figure it out.
“No. No way, fuck you.”
>”Anon, please.”
“I’m not game for you to hook up all those fuckin’ wires to me and run your goddamn tests. Get another guinea pig.”
>”Anonymous there aren’t any other humans here, you know that!”
“Fuck off.”
>”If I could find out what you are, what makes you so special to this world, then Princess Celestia would be amazed at my findings!”
“Isn’t that great? Now I’ll repeat myself. Fuck off.”
>She glares at you.
>”If you want to come back here to an UNlocked cellar, then I think you might want to reconsider.”
>You look back to her, a cocky grin on her face.
“Clever mare. Fine, I’ll do your tests.”
>She claps her hooves together in delight, then darts back into her house.
“Fuckin’ horses…”
>You flick away the ashes from your cigarette and begin walking to the nearest bar.
>Before you can get in the bar in front of you, a familiar shrill voice chirps up behind you.
>”Hiya Annie!”
>Pinkie Pie.
>You turn around and nod, then keep walking for the bar.
>”Gee, what happened to your face?”
“Fight.”
>Please let this interaction be brief.
>”Gasp! A fight? Now why would you go and get into a fight, Mr. Party Pooper.”
>Mother Mary preserve you, punching a lady is uncalled for but you wanted to do it so badly.
“Pinkie, as thrilled as I am to be speaking with you, would you mind not talking at all in my general direction? I just want to go get a drink, I don’t need your voice to spoil the mood.”
>Pinkie pouts a bit, but when she realizes you don’t particularly care, she huff at you.
>”Looks like someone needs to smile, smile, smi-“
“If you start to sing, I swear on my grave I will kick you in the teeth.”
>She stops, her ears cast down in surprise, but they perk up immediately.
>”Okee-dokee! I’ll just hum then!”
>Jesus, Mary and Joseph…
>Pinkie bounces happily beside you as you walk into the bar, spotting a large crowd of ponies enjoying themselves.
>Okay Anon, remember what Twilight said.
>Try not to get into a fight.
>Just go in, have a beer, maybe four, then leave.
>Finishing your cigarette and flicking it out the door behind you, you walk over to the bar and sit down, ordering a glass of lager.
>Just have a drink, Anon. Have a drink then go back to Twilight’s and sleep all this off.
>Pinkie Pie bounces into the stool next to you and chimes up at the bartender.
>”Shirley Temple please!”
>…
“You’re ordering a Shirley Temple?”
>The bartender rolls his eyes and sends a glass of pink liquid down at Pinkie Pie, a small cherry floating among the ice of her glass.
>”Yup! I love these things.”
“Fuck me, you’re in a bar. Just order some liquor and be done with it.”
>You take a swig of your beer as Pinkie downs her entire glass of soda.
>”Nope! Beer just isn’t sweet enough for me, tee-hee.”
>Dear god you hope she wouldn’t “tee-hee” all night.
>The bar stool next to you scoots along the floor, and you spot the next pony to sit next to you.
>Well, you spot her mane, at least.
>Fluttershy.
>“Oh, hello Anonymous. It’s nice to see you here.”
“Piss off.”
>”I-I was just wondering if you would want to-“
“Piss. Off.”
>She mumbles to herself, wringing her hooves together in nervous worry.
>”It’s just… I kind of like you and-“
“The feeling is not mutual, Fluttershy. Now please, bugger off.”
>She hovers next to you, getting an inch from your ear.
>”But I can show you so many wonders…”
>You place a hand on her face and shove her away from you.
“Not interested.”
>She hangs her head dejectedly and flits over to your other side.
>”One of these days, Anonymous, you will be.”
“Not bloody likely, no.”
>Realizing she would be getting nowhere tonight, she lands to the ground and trots back to another group of ponies.
>Finally, some peace and-
>”Yo Anon, what’s up?”
“For FUCK sake why won’t you asses leave me alone?!”
>You whirl around and see…
>Oh.
>Rainbow Dash.
>That was alright then.
“Dash. Cheers.”
>You raise your mug to her, and she nods happily.
>When she sits in the seat that Fluttershy left, she winces when she spots your cut up face.
>”Sweet Celestia, the hell happened to you, man?”
“Bing Mac and his boys. Turns out you can’t hit on Applejack without someone getting rustled around here.”
>”You hit on AJ?”
>Taking another sip of beer, you nod.
“I may have complimented her eyes and smacked her on the ass.”
>”Yeah I can see Mac getting pissed at that sort of thing.”
“Yup. Still, they’re in worse shape than me right now.”
>”Where are they?”
“Knocked out and nursing wounds back on that farm of theirs.”
>”Nice.”
>She holds out a hoof to you, and you bump it with your fist.
>Rainbow was probably the only other pony in this town that would consider you a friend, other than Twilight. Then again, you never really hung out with Twi. You mostly just did her little experiments that she sent off to the Princess.
>”Hey, I just got some movies in from a friend of mine. Lot of cool action flicks and the like. Wanna watch them at my place?”
“Dash if you haven’t noticed I don’t have any wings. Kind of hard to walk on clouds without them.”
>”Darnit… well what about the library? You have a TV at Twi’s right?”
“Yeah I guess that works. I have one in the basement where she lets me crash.”
>Rainbow pumps a hoof in delight.
>”Awesome. Alright, I’ll be over there at noon.”
“Yeah, might want to reconsider that.”
>”Huh?”
“She’s runnin’ those tests on me tomorrow at that time. I’m not saying you shouldn’t come, fuck that. Just that I’ll be wired up when you get there, that’s all.”
>”Oh. Well yeah man, no problem. I don’t mind.”
>You hear a few colts holler over to Dash from across the bar.
>”Buzz off, creeps, I’m not interested.”
“Who the fuck are they?”
>”Ugh, just a few pegasi from my old flight school.”
“They need haircuts.”
>Dash giggles and punches you in the arm.
>”Don’t worry about them, they-“
>”Hey Dash, I didn’t know you were bucking the monkey! What, your standards reach an all time low now?”
>Dash cringes and blushes slightly, more out of annoyance than anything else.
>”I wish those guys would just shut up already.”
>…
>Sorry Twilight, things just happen.
>You finish your beer, and get up.
>”Where are you going?”
“To shut them up.”
>Calmly walking over to the trio of pegasi, you point at the one in the middle.
“You in charge of these cunts?”
>The pegasi with the mullet laughs at you, nodding.
“Nice to meet you.”
>You raise your mug.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzF0hHb7xMc
>It shatters when you slam it across his head, sending him to the floor.
>The other two fly at you, but you crack a fist across one knocking him back.
>Mullet boy gets up and bucks your chest, but you don’t budge.
>Pegasi.
>You had to LOVE how light they were.
>You grab him by the mane and slam him into his table, while the others tackle you badly with a flying start.
>Dash joins in the scrap, cracking a hoof against one of the other’s face, knocking him out.
>You take out a bit and send it to the bartender, who smiles and tosses you a bottle of lager.
“Cheers!”
>You spin around and swing the bottle into the face of the last pegasis, a dull “THUNK” ringing from the impact.
>A few minutes later, and you’ve got three more ponies to add to the roster for today.
>You walk over to their table, and finish off the drinks they were having, handing one to Rainbow.
>A glass of cider in hand, you crouch down to the groaning form of the pegasis with a mullet.
“Your mother should have beat some manners into you during your fuckin’ childhood, rather than just beat ya’.”
>You finish off the insult by pouring his drink onto his head.
>You go up to the bartender and nod to him, dropping some extra bits on the table to cover your drinks.
>Walking out of the bar, Rainbow Dash flies up next to you and laughs.
>”We have to do this more often, Anon.”
“You did good in there. Poor fuck never saw you comin’.”
>”That’s because I’m the fastest thing alive.”
>She beams proudly and lands next to you to walk rather than fly.
“So, movies tomorrow then?”
>”Buck yes.”
>You bump her hoof again, and she flies off.
>Taking another cigarette out of your pocket, you begin singing to yourself as you walk back to Twilight’s library.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3LxGTbmXIE
“While in the merry month of May from me home I started,
Left the girls of Tuam so sad and broken hearted,
Saluted father dear, kissed me darling mother,
Drank a pint of beer, me grief and tears to smother,
Then off to reap the corn, leave where I was born,
Cut a stout black thorn to banish ghosts and goblins;
Bought a pair of brogues rattling o'er the bogs
And fright'ning all the dogs on the rocky road to Dublin.”
>You could careless what others thought of you in this town.
>You had time a friend or two.
>Good enough for you.
”One, two, three four, five,
Hunt the Hare and turn her down the rocky road
all the way to Dublin.”
~END~

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPaz0p2dpEk&feature=related

>Pain shoots through your spine as you’re thrown into the wall of the barn.
>Yeah, that was gonna leave a mark.
>The scramble of hoofs scrapes your skin as a small group of colts lifts you up and tosses you back into the ring, rolling along the dusty ground.
>Big Macintosh snorts at you, pawing the ground, ready for a another strike.
>He’d been wiping the floor with you for the past five minutes now inside Sweet Apple Acres’ barn house.
>Five minutes of sitting through this asshole’s sub par fighting all because you smacked his sister’s ass.
>Applejack, of course.
>You were a jerk, not a Catholic.
>You can see steam flare out of Macintosh’s nostrils as her sneers at you confidently.
>”Nop0ny tries to get fresh with mah sister. Nop0ny.”
>Getting to your feet, you wipe the blood from your cut cheek onto your hand.
>You give a laugh as you brush your arms of dirt.
“Right, how could I forget. You’re her brother!... Hitting on her is YOUR job.”
>He glares angrily as he charges you yet again, as the crows around you that came to see the fight cheers him on.
You are Anonymous.
>Stepping to the left, you bring your arm across Big Mac’s neck, delivering a more than likely painful haymaker his way.
>He’s lifted off the ground, and slams into the cold dirt as you bring another fist into his gut.
And you could go for a drink right about now. 

“C’mon you fucking nancy, get up. You’ve tossed me around this shit hole for five minutes, don’t tell me you’re done just like that.”
>Mac tries to say something back at you, but he’s far too busy trying to get his breath back.
>Chuckling to yourself and shaking your head, you turn to leave the barn.
>That’s when Mac bucks you right in the back.
>You’re off the ground, and you fly through the barn doors, flailing along the ground.
>When you get up, you’re more pissed off than in pain.
>You stretch one leg, bob up and down for a second, then sprint as fast as you can back into the barn.
>Mac is smiling at his friends, thinking he’s won.
>You promptly tackle him to the ground and begin punching the ever living shit out of his face.
>More hooves grasp you as his chums throw you off him, some of them ganging up on you.
“Oh FUCK you, he kicked me in the back, the coward!”
>Mac lies stunned on the floor of the barn, groaning in pain.
>You spit in his general direction, then clock the first colt to make a move at you.
>What started as one man fight, has now turned into an all out brawl.
>You smile.

One Hour Later

>You hated the smell of this place.
>Old books made your nose twitch and cringe. They smelled musty and moldy, and you kind of fucking hated that.
>A few bandages levitated up to your face by purple magic, as a cotton swab dabbed at your wounds.
“Ow! Watch it!”
>”Would you stop squirming? It wouldn’t hurt if you wouldn’t move so much.”
“What the fuck is in that swab? God damn acid?”
>”It’s peroxide, it’s going to help clean your cuts.”
>You roll your eyes as Twilight Sparkle keeps cleaning your face, placing the small white bandages on your cuts.
>This was a familiar routine.
>You’d find some reason to uppercut some fucking horse, they’d all gang up on you, and ten unconscious equines later you would shuffle your busted ass down to Twilight’s house for some medical assistance.
>It’d always been like this. She was the only pony in town that would be willing to take you in like this.
>Hell, she let you use her basement as a makeshift home, seeing as how she wasn’t using it for anything beforehand.
>”Anonymous, might I ask what you did to get yourself in this situation THIS time?”
“Ha, not much really. Turns out you can’t make a pass for any mares in the Apple Clan. Their brothers tend to get jealous and take you to their farm to knock the shit out of you.”
>You turn your head and spit up a bit of blood, wiping your mouth.
“I’m gonna be honest, I think I might have cracked a rib.”
>You give her a cheeky smile, but she sighs and shakes her head.
>”Why do you always do this?”
“Do what?”
>”Why do you get into fights with everyp0ny?”
“Why does everyp0ny want to fight me?”
>Twilight gives a sharp laugh.
>”Maybe it’s because of your impertinent attitude.”
“Don’t use big words with me, bitch.”
>She glares at you,  you give a wink, and she sighs.
>”All done. Just… just TRY not to get more colts and stallions around here angry at you. I’d rather not have to come home and find a sight similar to when we first met.”

>You rub your face, smack it a bit to wake yourself up, and then take a cigarette out of your shirt pocket.
>Before you can light it, Twilight has snatched the lighter with her magic.
>”Out.”
“Fuck me, you’re still on about that?”
>”No smoking in my library.”
“What’s the worst that could happen?”
>”Well for starters, you could burn it down.”
“Wow that’d be just fucking tragic. Then all your shit fan-fiction would fry.”
>She groans and points to the door.
>Shrugging, you get up and walk out of her house, nabbing your lighter out of the air as you do so.
>”The cellar door is unlocked in the back for you, by the way.”
>The flame of the lighter sparks up and you take a slow drag on your cigarette.
“Thanks Tink.”
>She shakes her head and rolls her eyes at the nickname you gave her, and closes the door.
>Exhaling, you lean up against the trunk of the library.
>Twilight pokes her head out of the door.
>”I need you to come back here tomorrow at noon.”
“What? Why?”
>Twilight doesn’t say anything, darting her eyes back and forth.
>She’s silent because she knew you’d figure it out.
“No. No way, fuck you.”
>”Anon, please.”
“I’m not game for you to hook up all those fuckin’ wires to me and run your goddamn tests. Get another guinea pig.”
>”Anonymous there aren’t any other humans here, you know that!”
“Fuck off.”
>”If I could find out what you are, what makes you so special to this world, then Princess Celestia would be amazed at my findings!”
“Isn’t that great? Now I’ll repeat myself. Fuck off.”
>She glares at you.
>”If you want to come back here to an UNlocked cellar, then I think you might want to reconsider.”
>You look back to her, a cocky grin on her face.
“Clever mare. Fine, I’ll do your tests.”
>She claps her hooves together in delight, then darts back into her house.
“Fuckin’ horses…”
>You flick away the ashes from your cigarette and begin walking to the nearest bar.

>Before you can get in the bar in front of you, a familiar shrill voice chirps up behind you.
>”Hiya Annie!”
>Pinkie Pie.
>You turn around and nod, then keep walking for the bar.
>”Gee, what happened to your face?”
“Fight.”
>Please let this interaction be brief.
>”Gasp! A fight? Now why would you go and get into a fight, Mr. Party Pooper.”
>Mother Mary preserve you, punching a lady is uncalled for but you wanted to do it so badly.
“Pinkie, as thrilled as I am to be speaking with you, would you mind not talking at all in my general direction? I just want to go get a drink, I don’t need your voice to spoil the mood.”
>Pinkie pouts a bit, but when she realizes you don’t particularly care, she huff at you.
>”Looks like someone needs to smile, smile, smi-“
“If you start to sing, I swear on my grave I will kick you in the teeth.”
>She stops, her ears cast down in surprise, but they perk up immediately.
>”Okee-dokee! I’ll just hum then!”
>Jesus, Mary and Joseph…
>Pinkie bounces happily beside you as you walk into the bar, spotting a large crowd of ponies enjoying themselves.
>Okay Anon, remember what Twilight said.
>Try not to get into a fight.
>Just go in, have a beer, maybe four, then leave.

>Finishing your cigarette and flicking it out the door behind you, you walk over to the bar and sit down, ordering a glass of lager.
>Just have a drink, Anon. Have a drink then go back to Twilight’s and sleep all this off.
>Pinkie Pie bounces into the stool next to you and chimes up at the bartender.
>”Shirley Temple please!”
>…
“You’re ordering a Shirley Temple?”
>The bartender rolls his eyes and sends a glass of pink liquid down at Pinkie Pie, a small cherry floating among the ice of her glass.
>”Yup! I love these things.”
“Fuck me, you’re in a bar. Just order some liquor and be done with it.”
>You take a swig of your beer as Pinkie downs her entire glass of soda.
>”Nope! Beer just isn’t sweet enough for me, tee-hee.”
>Dear god you hope she wouldn’t “tee-hee” all night.

>The bar stool next to you scoots along the floor, and you spot the next pony to sit next to you.
>Well, you spot her mane, at least.
>Fluttershy.
>“Oh, hello Anonymous. It’s nice to see you here.”
“Piss off.”
>”I-I was just wondering if you would want to-“
“Piss. Off.”
>She mumbles to herself, wringing her hooves together in nervous worry.
>”It’s just… I kind of like you and-“
“The feeling is not mutual, Fluttershy. Now please, bugger off.”
>She hovers next to you, getting an inch from your ear.
>”But I can show you so many wonders…”
>You place a hand on her face and shove her away from you.
“Not interested.”
>She hangs her head dejectedly and flits over to your other side.
>”One of these days, Anonymous, you will be.”
“Not bloody likely, no.”
>Realizing she would be getting nowhere tonight, she lands to the ground and trots back to another group of ponies.

>Finally, some peace and-
>”Yo Anon, what’s up?”
“For FUCK sake why won’t you asses leave me alone?!”
>You whirl around and see…
>Oh.
>Rainbow Dash.
>That was alright then.
“Dash. Cheers.”
>You raise your mug to her, and she nods happily.
>When she sits in the seat that Fluttershy left, she winces when she spots your cut up face.
>”Sweet Celestia, the hell happened to you, man?”
“Bing Mac and his boys. Turns out you can’t hit on Applejack without someone getting rustled around here.”
>”You hit on AJ?”
>Taking another sip of beer, you nod.
“I may have complimented her eyes and smacked her on the ass.”
>”Yeah I can see Mac getting pissed at that sort of thing.”
“Yup. Still, they’re in worse shape than me right now.”
>”Where are they?”
“Knocked out and nursing wounds back on that farm of theirs.”
>”Nice.”
>She holds out a hoof to you, and you bump it with your fist.
>Rainbow was probably the only other pony in this town that would consider you a friend, other than Twilight. Then again, you never really hung out with Twi. You mostly just did her little experiments that she sent off to the Princess.
>”Hey, I just got some movies in from a friend of mine. Lot of cool action flicks and the like. Wanna watch them at my place?”
“Dash if you haven’t noticed I don’t have any wings. Kind of hard to walk on clouds without them.”
>”Darnit… well what about the library? You have a TV at Twi’s right?”
“Yeah I guess that works. I have one in the basement where she lets me crash.”
>Rainbow pumps a hoof in delight.
>”Awesome. Alright, I’ll be over there at noon.”
“Yeah, might want to reconsider that.”
>”Huh?”
“She’s runnin’ those tests on me tomorrow at that time. I’m not saying you shouldn’t come, fuck that. Just that I’ll be wired up when you get there, that’s all.”
>”Oh. Well yeah man, no problem. I don’t mind.”
>You hear a few colts holler over to Dash from across the bar.
>”Buzz off, creeps, I’m not interested.”
“Who the fuck are they?”
>”Ugh, just a few pegasi from my old flight school.”
“They need haircuts.”
>Dash giggles and punches you in the arm.
>”Don’t worry about them, they-“
>”Hey Dash, I didn’t know you were bucking the monkey! What, your standards reach an all time low now?”
>Dash cringes and blushes slightly, more out of annoyance than anything else.
>”I wish those guys would just shut up already.”
>…
>Sorry Twilight, things just happen.
>You finish your beer, and get up.
>”Where are you going?”
“To shut them up.”
>Calmly walking over to the trio of pegasi, you point at the one in the middle.
“You in charge of these cunts?”
>The pegasi with the mullet laughs at you, nodding.
“Nice to meet you.”
>You raise your mug.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzF0hHb7xMc

>It shatters when you slam it across his head, sending him to the floor.
>The other two fly at you, but you crack a fist across one knocking him back.
>Mullet boy gets up and bucks your chest, but you don’t budge.
>Pegasi.
>You had to LOVE how light they were.
>You grab him by the mane and slam him into his table, while the others tackle you badly with a flying start.
>Dash joins in the scrap, cracking a hoof against one of the other’s face, knocking him out.
>You take out a bit and send it to the bartender, who smiles and tosses you a bottle of lager.
“Cheers!”
>You spin around and swing the bottle into the face of the last pegasis, a dull “THUNK” ringing from the impact.
>A few minutes later, and you’ve got three more ponies to add to the roster for today.
>You walk over to their table, and finish off the drinks they were having, handing one to Rainbow.
>A glass of cider in hand, you crouch down to the groaning form of the pegasis with a mullet.
“Your mother should have beat some manners into you during your fuckin’ childhood, rather than just beat ya’.”
>You finish off the insult by pouring his drink onto his head.
>You go up to the bartender and nod to him, dropping some extra bits on the table to cover your drinks.
>Walking out of the bar, Rainbow Dash flies up next to you and laughs.
>”We have to do this more often, Anon.”
“You did good in there. Poor fuck never saw you comin’.”
>”That’s because I’m the fastest thing alive.”
>She beams proudly and lands next to you to walk rather than fly.
“So, movies tomorrow then?”
>”Buck yes.”
>You bump her hoof again, and she flies off.
>Taking another cigarette out of your pocket, you begin singing to yourself as you walk back to Twilight’s library.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3LxGTbmXIE

“While in the merry month of May from me home I started,
Left the girls of Tuam so sad and broken hearted,
Saluted father dear, kissed me darling mother,
Drank a pint of beer, me grief and tears to smother,
Then off to reap the corn, leave where I was born,
Cut a stout black thorn to banish ghosts and goblins;
Bought a pair of brogues rattling o'er the bogs
And fright'ning all the dogs on the rocky road to Dublin.”

>You could careless what others thought of you in this town.
>You had time a friend or two.
>Good enough for you.

”One, two, three four, five,
Hunt the Hare and turn her down the rocky road
all the way to Dublin.”

~END~

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