Pen Pal -Chapter 3-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfAAmmiVWEQ

 

>Letters.

>So many letters, so little time.

>Whassat? A Knock on the door?

>Maybe it was Rainbow Dash, here to see if you were ready to go kite flying?

>NO.

>IT'S A TRICK.

>You'd just answer the door, and BOOM. LETTERS.

>Well you won't fall for it.

>No sir, not you.

>You were smarter than that.

>...

>The knocking on the door continues.

>...

>Darn it all...

>Opening the door, you see the smiling face of Rainbow Dash.

>"Morning Anon! I'm just here to see if... you... Anonymous, are you okay?"

"What? Why? Do I look like I'm not okay? Why are you so curious? What?"

>"Dude, calm down. You don't seem like yourself."

>One of your eyes twitches.

"The letters, Dash. The letters. They just. Keep. HAPPENING."

>"Letters? What are you talking abou-"

>Suddenly you shove a handful of envelopes at Dash.

"THESE letters. I get them everysingle day, each day increasing in number and volume. I tell you Dash, it is NOT swell. Not swell in the slightest."

>She opens one up and gasps.

>"Anon! These letters... they... they!..."

"What? What in the hay is it?!"

>"They're filled with pictures of mare plot!"

"I FUCKING KNOW THAT."

>You snatch the letter out of her hoof, much to her dismay.

>Ew.

>You figured Rainbow to be one of the gays.

>Oh well, you accepted her for who she was.

>A filthy lesbian.

>And you would have it no other way.

>"Still want to go kite flying? It'll be good for your head."

>You sigh.

"Sure thing, kiddo."

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQLmRdzC5kM

 

>Now THIS was swell.

>Fine and DANDY even.

>You ran through the field with Dash in tow, her bright red kite flying high through the air.

>Her sunny smile fills you with happiness, and you feel like a new man as you breathe in the warm air around you.

"Well gee wilickers, Dash, you were right! Getting away from my cottage was just a cracker jack idea!"

>"See? I told you that you'd like it. No come on, show me some of those tricks you told me you could make it do!"

"Gosh sport, you wanna see?"

>"Do I!"

>You smile a bright beam at Rainbow Dash as you pull and twist on the kit's string, sending it in a loopty-loop and a fancy little twirl.

>Another tug of the string and the kite dive bombs, pulling up at the last second and soaring through the air triumphantly.

>"Wow! That's so cool, Anon!"

"Haha, glad you think so champ!"

>"Uhm... Anon?"

"Yes Dash?"

>"Wasn't our kite supposed to be... you know... red?"

"Well ain't that the bees knees? Dash, of course our kite is red! Just look at-"

>...

>The red kite in the sky was no longer red.

>It was white.

>Also, it wasn't a kite anymore.

>It was a great big envelope.

"Well fuck me sideways and call me "Toot."

>"What?"

"Lingo."

>You begin maddeningly reeling in the big letter, sweat forming on your forehead in foreboding worry.

>This...

>This was NOT the bees knees, nor was it cracker jack.

 

>"Anon, that letter is HUGE."

>Your hands are shaky as they grip the behemoth envelope, slowly tearing it open.

>Dear sweet aunt Jemima what could be inside?

>Albums and albums of mare vagina snap shots?

>More vials of mare juice?

>Something ELSE that made your stomach twist into uncomfortable knots?

>You'd find out soon enough.

>You tear it open further.

>And then suddenly...

>Without warning...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHyc9B1aj1I

 

>FUCKING LETTERS HOGOD

>Letters start flying out of the bigger letter.

>It was a trap.

>A trick!

>A CLEVER RUSE.

"Dash, run! Fly! Anything to save you form this vile filth!"

>You turn to Dash, and your heart drops.

>She's tearing into the letters, her wings at full mast while gazing at the pictures of mare plot.

"DAMMIT DASH STOP BEING A FILTHY COMMUNIST AND RUN FOR THE HILLS."

>She doesn't hear you.

>You've lost her.

>So you run.

>You run as fast as your spindly human legs can carry you.

>But the letters.

>They just FOLLOW you.

>Dear god it was like a Stanley Kubrick film on ass loads of acid and maybe a hit or two of ecstasy.

>Magical Smut Filled letters that were being sent to you mysteriously.

>You needed to put a stop to this, and you needed to do it now!

>So you decided to visit the one pony you knew could get things done around here.

>Princess Celestia.

 

~END~